Chapter Text
“Where is he?”
His tone was as icy as the November wind that still clung to his coat as he came rushing into the room.
Karl immediately jumped up from where he had been sitting on one of the big couches in the living room, hands stretched outwards in a weak attempt to soothe Sapnap´s flaming anger.
Karl knew this would happen; had spent the entire day thinking about how to best approach this, trying to craft together a half-decent explanation. He knew his fiancé, knew his tamper. And in the end he had come to the conclusion that this day would not end without a big collision.
“Sapnap, wait-”
“No, where the fuck is he!”
There was a raging fire in Sapnap´s eyes that burned brighter than the flames he was born from. But under the inferno of red fury and orange hatred, Karl could see pale yellow desperation.
“I will show you where he is but I need you to calm down first.”
“So he is here? What the fuck, Karl.”
“I can explain-” Karl said, trying to calm down his partner. Just because there was no way around a collision didn´t mean he couldn´t try to soften the crash. But Sapnap didn´t even let him finish the sentence.
“Have you lost your mind? Have you suddenly forgotten everything that happened? Do you even realize-”
“Shut!” Karl winced internally. He didn´t like to be this harsh but he needed Sapnap to at least listen. “You can be angry at me as much as you want. But at least shut up for a second and let me explain.”
Sapnap was about to protest but the way his lovers eyes melted into a pleading look made his words tie around his tongue and stop the rest of his outburst from bleeding out of his heated heart that burned from a disgusting mix of betrayal and confusion and hurt. He knew Karl would never actively do something to upset him without a good reason but that didn´t mean he wasn´t allowed to be furious.
Sapnap´s sudden silence gave Karl the chance to continue, “This morning, I went out to get some of the mushrooms that grow down at the tree line. I wanted to make George his favorite stew because he wasn´t feeling so well.” He shuffled around on his feet, trying to ease the tension and ball of nervousness in his chest. “I found him right outside the border of Kinoko Kingdom. My first thought was to call Sam and bring him back to prison, I swear. But…”
His fingers were nervously fidgeting with the hem of his sweater, not knowing how to express his inner turmoil. Ever since finding him next to the entrance of one of the small ponds right outside Kinoko Kingdom, his body had been buzzing with nauseating, restless anxiety. And he couldn´t pinpoint if it was because it was him or because of the state he´d been in when he had found him.
“I don´t know how to explain it but I think there is something wrong with him.”
A humorless chuckle climbed its way up Sapnap´s throat. “You think there is something wrong with him? Karl, you are talking about the man who joined two of the most famous anarchists to destroy a whole nation. He manipulated and traumatized children. He had a room filled with our attachments like some sick, fucked up, twisted form of a collector. He hurt his friends, his family like it meant nothing to him. He hurt us. So yes, Karl, you are right. There is definitely something wrong with Dream. But it doesn´t take a genius to figure that out.”
Sapnap had run out of breath at the end, his words raw from emotions that took their roots in sleepless nights tormented by nightmares and weeks spent in bed because his heart was too heavy, weighing down his body and making it impossible to even move an arm.
And Karl understood. Because he´d been there, guiding Sapnap through bad weeks and days that were even worse than the last. He´d brought him breakfast to bed, had made sure that Sapnap had enough food and water in him, had washed the sheets and cleaned the house without complaining. When Sapnap´s head had been aching from guilt of being this affected by a person that he shouldn´t care about anymore because he didn´t care either, Karl´d been at his side, whispering empty words into his ears that meant nothing and everything at the same time.
Karl understood and Sapnap knew and right now that was the only thing keeping his insanity in check, holding him back from tearing down the whole kingdom to find Dream and take his last live.
“I didn´t forget about any of that, I promise,” Karl said softly. “But when I found Dream, he…he looked like a cornered animal. He was shaking so badly. As if he was afraid of me.”
Sapnap scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. “ Yeah, because he was scared you would lock him back up again. Something you should have done, by the way.”
“No, Dream is not scared. Ever. Even when they led him to the prison he didn´t show any emotions. You know him, Sapnap.”
“Do I? Because the Dream I know doesn´t manipulate and terrorize and hurt people he loves. Do you think I don´t want him back? Because I do. I really want him back.” He drew in a shaky breath, trying and failing to compose himself.
“But I want our Dream back. The Dream who used to stay up until late into the night to chase away any mobs that could hurt us. The Dream who loved to take his horse out on long trips because it calmed him down when his head got the best of him again. The Dream who was the only one willing to put up with the constant fighting between George and me. The Dream who sacrificed everything to find a place for him and his friends to stay, to be safe and free.”
He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible but the tears in his eyes threatened to expose him. He hadn´t been able to cry in a very long time, and the sobs that caught in his chest shocked him. He bit his lip, didn´t allow himself to spill a single tear over a man who had ripped his heart out and tossed it away without a second thought. He hadn´t cried in months and he wouldn´t start now. Not for him . Never again.
“Prime, I want him back so badly it hurts. But our Dream died a long time ago. And I made peace with that. I moved on.” Liar. “So why can´t you do the same? Why did you have to bring him here out of all places?”
K arl gave him a sad smile, “He may not be the same Dream you used to know. But I don´t think he is the same Dream who did all those horrible things, either. Something isn´t right. Something happened to him.”
He stepped forward, having kept his distance during Sapnap´s rant, knowing when his fiancé needed his space and when he needed a comforting hug. He raised his arm, laying his hand on Sapnap´s shoulder in a silent, grounding solace. “I need you to trust me with this one, Sap. Please. Let him stay. Only for a while. If he tries anything, we will send him straight back to prison.”
“If I don´t kill him first.”
“Sapnap.”
Hesitation kept Sapnap´s tongue under control for a moment b ut the determination in Karl´s eyes made him carve in. “ Okay. I trust you. But if he acts up in any way – doesn´t matter how small – we will call Sam. Immediately. ”
Karl nodded, relief making his body boneless and he leaned onto Sapnap, crushing him with a tight hug, giving him comfort as much as soothing his own anxious heart. “Thank you.”
There was a soft pause, Sapnap finally taking off his hunter attire and putting his bow and axe away, sinking deeper into Karl´s embrace.
“Does George know?” Sapnap carefully disturbed the comfortable silence after a while.
“He knows. He´s asleep in his room at the moment.”
“Of course.” Sapnap didn´t mean to let the words slip from his mouth. They left a bitter taste of guilt and sorrow behind. It wasn´t George´s fault that his mind sought for a reality only his dreams could ever provide. And could Sapnap really blame him? Not while desperately trying to shove down the blazing jealousy; jealousy of George for being able to turn back time at night. Meanwhile all he saw when he closed his eyes, was blood strained hands and a lifeless body under the blade of his very own sword.
“Is he like him?” Sapnap had asked him one starless night in front of a camp fire, a stupid tradition back from the manhunt days that non of them had the heart to break. It was more about the sentiment and nostalgia nowadays than anything else.
“Who?”
“You know…in your dreams. Is he…”
“As if not a single day has passed since we founded these lands.”
Sapnap didn´t know what he expected when he opened the door to the guestroom that Karl had insisted on putting right next to the stairs even though they had rarely any visitors, much less people that stayed a whole night.
The room wasn´t that big but Karl had put his whole heart into it to give it a feeling of comfort and warmth. Soft spring light fell through the glass of a big window on the opposite side of the door. The pale lilac curtains were pushed to the side, giving away to a view of evergreen trees and flower covered meadows. A poorly handcrafted desk had been pushed against the dark oak wall to the right, a fluffy carpet covered the floor like cyan moss.
And then there was the bed to Sapnap´s left.
For a moment he just stood there, frozen in the door frame, and looked at him. Because, oh, he didn´t have his mask on. And all he could do was stare. Because this was the face of his best friend, his brother, the lost child Bad had found between the ruins of a burned down village so many suns ago, the boy he grew up with.
He was wearing one of Karl´s oversized hoodies that looked too big, even on him. Karl must be drowning in it.
He still had the same messy, dirty blond hair, the same crooked nose, the same endless freckles on pale skin. But he´d gotten older, jaw more defined than Sapnap remembered it, the first few stubbles of a beard visible, more scars ripping through his face. One scar on the bridge of his nose, another one from his neck up to his chin, a big one from his eyebrow down to his cheek. There were other, smaller ones but these were the ones that stood out the most, almost taunting Sapnap, laughing at him, reminding him of the time that had passed.
He didn´t even remember the last time Dream had taken off his mask around him or George. He used to do it all the time back when they were younger. And then, some day, he just stopped.
Amber tinted eyes met speckled green ones. George used to point out how similar they looked to Eyes of Ender. Now, Sapnap couldn´t help but notice the gray hue that lay upon them like autumn fog. They looked tired, exhausted.
“If you are here to kill me, do it quick.” His voice used to be cool creek water flowing over pebbles, now it sounded like stone dragging over stone, rough and hoarse.
“What?” Sapnap breathed out, taken aback by the blunt words of the other man.
“I am not stupid, Sap. I heard you yell at Karl earlier and I also know you haven´t forgotten about your promise. So, when you kill me, at least make it painless. I don´t want to think about him in my last moments here on earth.” Dream let out a dry chuckle that sounded like it dragged across his throat painfully.
It made the anger in Sapnap´s core flare back up. It was as if Dream didn´t take any of this serious, as if he found it more amusing than anything else- as if it was nothing more than a tasteless joke to him.
It didn´t come as a surprise but it hurt nonetheless. Karl had been wrong. Dream hadn´t changed one bit.
“I will not kill you:”
That got Dream´s attention. His whole body went rigid, face unreadable.
“You are going to send me back to prison?” If Sapnap didn´t know any better, he´d say it was fear that weighed down on Dream´s voice.
“No.” Dream´s tense posture relaxed slightly.
“For the record, Karl is the only reason why you are here right now. He´s naive and foolish, said you changed or whatever. I,” Sapnap said, tone a void of any emotions, “however, am not that stupid. The moment you act out or give me any reason to think that you are up to something, I won´t hesitate to end you. Like you said, I did not forget about my promise. And I am not afraid to follow through with it. Right now, the only thing holding me back is Karl. Understood?”
Dream nodded, flinching away from his stern tone . Sapnap ignored it, didn´t care that the other man´s hands were trembling, how he recoiled every time Sapnap raised his voice just a tad . He didn´t care because he was not an idiot. This was nothing but an act, a desperate attempt of Dream to convince Sapnap that he wasn´t the brutal tyrant Sapnap knew he was, a fruitless effort to avoid the pr ison or the pr omise . But Sapnap could see through it, would not let himself be fooled.
Some people did not deserve a second chance.
“Here,” he crouched down, putting the plate of food and glass of water he´d awkwardly been holding the entire time, on the ground. “From Karl.”
Dream didn´t make any move to get up. He just sat there on the bed, eyeing the meal with a mix of hunger and distrust .
“Unfortunately, Karl did not poison the food. You can eat it.” Sapnap snorted at the side glance Dream gave him. He looked like a cat that someone had pissed off, definitively not threatening or dangerous in any way.
That´s what he wants you to believe. Don´t let him fool you. He could still kill you in your sleep tonight.
Sapnap didn´t know where Dream had been for the last few months after escaping prison but he looked only a bit slimmer than he used to be before the Vault. There was no doubt that Dream still had the ability to kill someone with his bare hands. Even after spending eight months looked in a cell, the last few months after the prison break seemed to have given him back most of the strength he must´ve lost while locked up. Sapnap had the unsettling suspicion that Techno had something to do with that.
He would have to lock Dream in the room before going to bed tonight.
An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Neither of the men, once upon a time brothers, now nothing more than strangers, dared to break eye contact first.
There were so many unspoken words but at the same time it felt like not enough.
Dream opened his mouth to say something. Maybe an apology, maybe a threat or a mockery. Whatever it was, Sapnap never got to hear it, for Dream closed his mouth again without making a sound and looked down on his still shaking hands. Sapnap just scoffed.
He was almost out of the door, when Dream finally spoke up. His voice was quiet, timid, almost as if he was scared that Sapnap would snap at him for saying something out loud.
“I don´t want to be here, either. Karl insisted on me staying. He didn´t let me leave. If it was on me, I would be long gone.”
Sapnap didn´t say anything, letting the door shut behind him and lock fall into place.