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having woken up earlier than he was used to, tommy stared at the room’s ceiling. it wasn’t unusual for his sleeping schedule to fuck itself up, considering he’s the one destroying it anyway. what was unusual was he slept late, about 2 am if he guessed right, and he still woke up at the crack of dawn.
he knew very well the reason why.
fumbling in the still mostly dark room for his phone was probably not a good idea, but he’s tommyinnit. when was he not filled with not good ideas?
grasping his phone in his hand, he checked the time. ‘5:43 am, fuckin’ ‘ell that’s too early even for me,’ he thought. he couldn’t do anything about it anyway, once he woke up he wasn’t able to go back to sleep easily.
knowing tubbo and the others are still asleep, he tried remembering what he did before finally sleeping. “right, thinking about ranboo again,” he mumbled to himself, sighing, “when was i not thinking about that fuckin’ american these days?”
the american was staying in the uk for four months, and he’s been here for a week now. tommy remembered being with tubbo and his parents when they fetched a jet-lagged ranboo from his flight that day, and wow was it a pain to try to stop himself from clinging to the american when they met by the airport lobby.
he’s been harboring these feelings for months now. when it started he doesn’t remember. all he knew at this moment was that feelings were a pain, especially when your crush was now a few doors away while you’re sleeping over your best friend’s house for six more days.
sighing and shaking his head to try to put away these thoughts at almost six in the morning, he sat up and went to his spotify account. he felt like listening to more mellow, acoustic romantic songs considering the mood he was in.
a few songs in while silently singing along to the lyrics, bubblegum by clairo played and oh wow was the song a fucking mood.
honestly speaking, the blond brit was still recovering from the shock of having to accept he wasn’t as straight as he always acted. apparently the charms of the brunet american turned him to a “beloved”.
‘heh, a beloved huh. how ironic,’ he mused.
looping the song, tommy knew he was deep in this- whatever it is he feels for ranboo. he was fucked for the entirety of the four-month stay of the American. god forbid he tried keeping himself away from him anyway.
call him stupid, but he’d try keeping things to a platonic level with the american these four months. he’s too tempted to just blurt out his feelings considering he’ll see him almost everyday now, only meters apart and not an ocean away.
‘it’s probably for the best anyway. there’s a fuck ton of problems if i tried to confess and he doesn’t like me back, plus twitter would be more annoying if i did and he somehow likes me back. and hell no would i even try and tell wilbur about this, confessing shit n’ all. he’d turn even more annoying. eugh.’ tommy grimaced.
it wasn’t he didn’t wanna tell wilbur about planning to confess, it’s just wilbur’s been annoying him recently about it, considering he’s the only one, apart from his parents, who know about his sexuality and crush on ranboo. he just knows the older brit would be more persistent and loud about it.
groaning, he checks the time again. ‘6:12 am, damn time flies too fucking fast while thinking ‘bout shit.’
debating on looking for breakfast or listening to bubblegum again, he decided to listen one more time, singing along softly while listening to the soft strums and voice of clairo. not realizing he already has an audience listening by his door.
ranboo woke up at six in the morning, needing to take a trip to the bathroom. washing his hands after, he heard a muffled voice singing along to soft strums of the ukulele playing in a phone speaker by tommy’s room. curious, he went and slowly turned the doorknob to hear the slightly rough but mellow singing of tommyinnit to bubblegum by clairo.
hearing the blond brit’s singing wasn’t completely new, but this softness, almost like he fully resonates with the lyrics, he’s suddenly scared to cross a line. it was too vulnerable, completely different from the loud and brash persona he puts up.
by the second verse, ranboo heard the brit’s voice slightly waver. he should step away, but he was just enchanted by the other’s voice. he couldn’t move, he probably didn’t want to anyway. the blond brit was just an enamour, you can’t help him if his heart quickens its pace when talking to/about the blond.
as the song ends, ranboo decided it was about time he tried falling back asleep and pretend like he didn’t listen to the raw emotions the brit poured out while singing the song. he was a second too late and the brit already saw the tall american by the door.
it was awkward, blue staring at grey for seconds that seemed to stretch to an hour. the blond brit coughed, shaking out of the awkward staring first.
“so,” the brit dragged his o’s, “how long were you-”
“how long was i-? oh, uh,” ranboo blurted out suddenly, nervously laughing and his hand reaching the back of his neck from the anxious energy he had, “i started listening by the end of the first chorus.”
“okay, okay,” mumbled tommy to himself, “why are you up so early, boob boy?”
“could ask you the same. though i woke up because i had to go to the bathroom. why are you up so early?” asked the brunet.
“woke up early, what else, ranboob?” scoffed the blond, though both knew there was no malice in him at the moment.
silence fell unto them again. ranboo had a question ready this time but he knew he had to make small talk for a bit. “so, uh, that was a pretty nice singing there,” prolonged the American.
tommy only hummed, as if his mind was somewhere else. taking that as an answer, ranboo asked the question he had ready.
“uh, it’s kinda awkward, but, who’s the song dedicated for?”
"you."
fuck, tommy was so screwed now.
he just admitted he was singing for the american.
he was truly and royally screwed.
tommy was slowly spiralling, he knew that. his sight blurred, there was only ringing in his ears. everything felt cottony and far away; rationally he knows ranboo was only meters away from him, but everything was simultaneously too much and not enough and it hurt his head and it was just frustrating because he couldn’t focus and-
the american’s voice slowly reached his ears first, then he registered one warm hand on his shoulder, slowly shaking him, while the other hand held his wrist and guided his hand to the soft fabric of the shirt covering ranboo’s chest, feeling the brunet’s pulse. he then registered the words ranboo was saying, telling him to follow his breathing.
tommy blinked thrice as quick as he can, forcing his eyes to focus on the american’s exaggerated breathing. copying the brunet’s breathing, tommy slowly fet the knots in his chest untie and his pulse turned to a more normal pace. opening his eyes again (when did he even close it-,) he saw how close ranboo was to him. suddenly becoming aware of the warm hands still not letting him go, his cheeks flushed pink.
silence embraced the two boys in a dimly lit room. the american and the brit didn’t move an inch from their position in fear of breaking the current mood in the room. shakily, the brit took a deep breath, closing his eyes, exhaling just as shaky. opening his eyes, blue met grey once more, and warmth engulfed his cheeks from shame and embarrassment of panicking from a simple question.
“you feeling better now, tommy?” asked ranboo.
“y, yeah. yeah, slightly better now, big man. sorry for panicking. felt quite stupid for blurting it out.” answered tommy in a weak voice.
ranboo was confused. there was nothing stupid from admitting it- oh.
it was only sinking in to ranboo that tommy’s saying he has a crush on him. great job being slow, ranboo.
“s, so you’re saying you basically have a crush on me?” ranboo’s pitch gradually became higher from uncertainty and butterflies pooling in his gut from the fact that he listened to tommy serenade him without knowing it was for him until now.
tommy’s cheeks grew warmer if it was possible. “of- fucking 'course not!” sputtered the brit.
god, ranboo was so in love with the blond. “aw, so you do like me! you’re so red and, and cute!” cooed the brunet.
“I’M NOT RED AND CUTE! SHUT THE, SHUT THE FUCK UP RANBOOB!”
“you’re so embarrassed from a simple compliment like that oh my god.” ranboo awed.
tommy was in so much awe and really embarrassed at the situation. here was ranboo, joking about his feelings and fuck if that doesn’t hurt a bit.
“tommy,” started ranboo with a softness and adoration tommy’s never heard from him before, which grabbed said blond’s attention, “if it’s not obvious enough, i like you too.” whispered the American.
“what the fuck, you’re pranking me.”
“NO I’M NO- why would you think someone saying they like you too is a prank?”
“I DON’T KNOW MAYBE THIS JUST FEELS TOO SURREAL RIGHT NOW?!”
“i- okay fair.” stuttered out ranboo.
tommy was right, the situation felt a bit too surreal right now, but honestly? ranboo was just so elated that the blond reciprocates his feelings.
“i just, i really like you, okay? i genuinely like you because you’re, you’re you. you care so much for your friends, you always check up on me privately because you thought my anxiety might act up, you’ve, you’ve introduced me to many of our friends today, never not including me, genuinely wanting to be there for me, and all that. you are a wonderful person, toms, and oh wow i am rambling now please shut me up right about now-”
tommy, embarrassed for himself and for ranboo, pressed their lips together. it wasn’t exactly an ideal first kiss for the two of them, with the blond rushing a bit too quickly to shut the brunet up, but after a second, they melted. their lips slowly moved, trying to remember how the other’s lips feel. slowly separating, both boys opened their eyes, admiring how the other looks with a silly smile and blown eyes from a simple touching of lips.
a moment of silence fell upon them. as the sun rose higher outside the blond’s room, their soft smiles turned to bright grins, both chuckling from the absurdity of what transpired moments ago.
finished with their little chuckle fest, ranboo looked at tommy again with a mischievous glint in his eyes and tilt in his smile.
“so, you’re now officially part of ‘ranboo my beloveds’ since i think we both want us to be official.”
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK RANBOO-”
