Work Text:
When Harvey enters his office Mike is there. It's late, so late in fact he thought the younger man had left hours ago. He is standing at the windows, soaking up the view of the city sparkling below.
"If I asked you a serious question would you give me a serious answer?" Mike asks, back still to him.
Harvey wonders for a brief moment when the kid developed eyes in the back of his head until he looks up and meets Mike's eyes in the windows reflection.
"When have you ever known me to not be serious?" he deadpans, dropping a file onto his desk as he moves to stand by Mike. He can see a faint smile playing at Mike's lips at that but then he sobers, turning to face Harvey.
"What do you want, Harvey?"
Wow, the question could not be more vague. He briefly wonders if the kid has learnt nothing in their time together. The law is all about the power of words, or more precisely the power of the right words. You want a specific answer you need to ask a specific question. Press til it hurts and use your words to back your opponent into a corner until they give up what you want.
There are lots of answers to Mike's question. He wants to win his current case, and every one after that. He wants to redecorate his condo. He wants to get his name on the building at Pearson Hardman. He almost starts to say that but then he realises. The beauty of such an open and vague question is that it leaves so much up to interpretation, and the answer becomes even more telling. Maybe he did teach the kid something after all.
"I'm afraid I'm going to need you to be more specific."
Mike sighs deeply, as though he had hoped he could avoid this very moment. "What do you want from me?"
Again, there are many answers to that question. He wants Mike to finish the Donaghy brief. He wants him to stop doing work for Louis when he should be working for him. He wants him to excel and go as far as he can at Pearson Hardman (& Specter). But he knows those aren't the answers he wants. That isn't what they are talking about.
He could lie. He is good at telling people not what they wanted to hear but what they needed to hear, whether it was the truth or not. But he figures he owes Mike more than that.
"I don't know." It's an admission if Mike chooses to see it that way (which Harvey knows he will). Because after months of skirting around this, pretending like it wasn't there, Mike has opened the conversation and there is no going back now.
Mike nods. His face is resigned, like he had been expecting it, the evasion and uncertainty. He walks away, crosses the room and picks up the messenger bag Harvey hadn't even noticed sitting on his couch and leaves the office without another word.
It is three weeks later when the subject is broached again. Mike is waiting for him outside the office, standing between the building and his car, and Harvey could easily ignore Mike or brush him off or one of a thousand other things. But he knows that would only be a temporary fix and anyway, the kid deserves answers.
"Well?" Mike asks, like they were in the middle of a conversation and not starting one. And Harvey wonders how it is that they both know when they are talking about this without actually coming out and saying so.
Harvey takes a deep breath, steps closer so he can speak in a low voice and still be heard over the loud city noises. His head is hung low, like he can't bear to look Mike in the eye. Something inside him wants to reach out to Mike, on every level, and though he fights the impulse he doesn't win, his hand reaching over, fingers briefly brushing against Mike's own.
"I don't know how-" and he cuts himself off, unable to even finish the sentence. There are a few different ways the sentence could end (I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this with you. I don't know how to do this with a man. I don't know how to not be scared of this. I don't know how this happened but it has and it fucking terrifies me and I don't want to ruin everything.) and they would all be accurate. He feels completely weak and exposed, is sure the confusion and unexplainable want is showing on his face, and he waits for Mike to mock or laugh or walk away, because really, Harvey is a fucking coward and he has enough self-realisation to know that.
"Harvey," Mike says, and he can hear so many things in that one word: adoration, tentativeness, and unfortunately something like pity. "We have been doing this for the better part of two years. You just don't want to admit to that."
It's true. There has always been something there, right from the first moment they met. How could there not be - what else would make Harvey risk everything for him. That's not to say they went from zero to a hundred in two seconds flat. It has been a gradual build between them, subtle shifts compounding into something more. But it's there, real and undeniable.
"I just need more time," he says, almost begs. Because he's not ready for this, not yet. He knows, the way he's certain Mike does too, that if they do this, then that's it. For better or worse, this will either make them or completely ruin them. They are standing at the crossroad of that, but he's not yet ready to choose his path.
"Okay," Mike says, again with that almost blank look, and Harvey hates that impassive expression, so used to seeing Mike articulate exactly what he is feeling with the raise of an eyebrow, the biting of a lip, the slack of a jaw. But he knows that there is some self-preservation happening within Mike right now, and after everything Harvey has put him through he can't begrudge him that. So in the absence of declarations Harvey simply watches Mike walk away, watches his form until he loses him in the crowd of the city streets before walking to the car and driving away in the opposite direction.
They work well together, still, despite whatever is happening between them, that thing they are on the verge of discovering, that grows louder and stronger every time they talk about it. It constantly hums through Harvey's veins, an ever present reminder that he couldn't ignore even if he wanted to. But no one has noticed anything. Even Donna, usually the first to interfere in his love life, has remained silent. He thinks this means he has hidden this well, but later he will discover she was simply keeping her distance, leaving him alone for once in their lives.
The point is, on the outside things are still the same. Mike still fucks up and Harvey still gives him shit for it. Mike still cares too much about the clients and Harvey still gives him shit for it. To the world, they are just a Senior Partner and his Associate, nothing more and nothing less. Like they haven't always been more - their secret demanded that of them, and they were more than willing to oblige.
He thinks Mike is smart enough to realise, but he still wants to tell him. Mike is sitting on the chaise and Harvey is on the couch and they are silent as they each go through their paperwork. Harvey breaks that silence with, "What you have to understand is..."
Mike looks up, meets his eyes, and Harvey clears his throat, takes a deep breath so he can get the words out.
"What you have to understand is that this is all new for me."
Mike sets his folder down on the floor, sits a bit straighter. Harvey glances out of the office: it's the middle of the day and the door is open and they shouldn't be talking about this here but they shouldn't really be talking about this at all so he figures that makes it the perfect time to be talking about it.
"You mean because I'm a guy."
"Yes. And no. I'm not going to lie, that's a part of it. I always thought it was a ridiculous idea to exclude half the population from romantic pursuits just because of their gender, but having said that there was never anyone who made me want to put the theory into practice."
"Until now?" Mike asks, and Harvey smiles slightly at that, because Mike might be eager but he still needs the reassurance that this isn't all in his head.
"Until now," Harvey confirms, and Mike flat out grins. "But that's not all. This is breaking so many of my own rules."
"No dating subordinates," Mike guesses, correctly.
"Not only that, no dating anyone from work. No dating anyone born after 1980. No dating anyone for any substantial length of time."
Mike doesn't seem to have a reply to that, and in the silence that follows, stretches out between them for too long, Louis appears in the doorway, beckoning for Mike.
The younger man looks quickly to Harvey, who nods subtly. "We'll finish this conversation later, Mike."
"Okay," Mike replies, standing and reluctantly trailing after Louis.
Donna tells Harvey that Mike has started dating one of the paralegals (not Rachel). And it's not that Harvey feels jealous. It's not that he feels regret. It's not that he feels weak and stupid and yes, slightly betrayed. It's that he feels all of the above.
Somehow, of all the people Harvey has ever encountered, it is Mike that has managed to get under his skin. He doesn't know how and he certainly doesn't know why, but Mike has gotten in past the moat and the drawbridge and the sentries and every layer of protection Harvey has used in the past.
And part of him is relieved, because this means that it isn't real, this unnamed thing between them, and he therefore isn't in danger. And he was right, to put this off and drag it out, because if Mike has moved on already then clearly they were never going to make it. And he was right to not risk everything, because if he had, then by now he would have lost it all.
Mike isn't acting any differently, but then again he didn't really act that much different when they were standing at the precipice of whatever was happening between them, so he didn't know what that meant.
But there is something inside him that demands to know more, so he looks closer. He takes to stealthily stalking Mike around the office, tries to see how he acts when he thinks Harvey isn't looking. He determines which paralegal Mike is dating fairly quickly (Jane, who came into Pearson Hardman with little fanfare but soon rose to be one of the most respected paralegals at the firm) and he has to hand it to the younger man; he knows how to pick them. She is smart and beautiful and when he sees them having lunch in the kitchen or standing and talking at Mike's cubicle he can't help but think how perfect they look together.
He should leave it alone. He really wants to leave it alone. But like so many things when it comes to Mike, what his head says he should do and what his guts want him to do are two completely different things. And he doesn't know why he always goes with his gut when it comes to Mike, especially since in everything else his head has always reigned.
"So how are things going with Jane?" Harvey asks as they travel uptown to meet a client.
Mike turns to him and the look of confusion on his face is so genuine that when he says, "Nothing is going on with me and Jane," Harvey believes him.
"I heard a rumour..." Harvey clarifies.
Mike snorts. "Because the rumour mill at Pearson Hardman is always so reliable."
"My source usually is."
"Well, tell Donna she was wrong about this. There is nothing going on between me and Jane. Never has been, never will be."
He sounds so definite, so sure of himself, and Harvey can’t help but ask, "Why?"
Mike looks at him in a way he has never seen before. It's like Harvey is an entirely unknown entity to Mike, like they haven't known each other for two years, like they don't know things about each other that no one else knows, like they haven't done things for each other they wouldn't have done for anyone else. Harvey feels guilty under his gaze.
The car pulls up at their destination and before getting out of the car Mike says, "Because I'm waiting for you."
Harvey feels like he is standing at the edge of a cliff.
He hates the imagery that comes with that, the cliché of love being a leap and all that crap, and if he follows the imagery to its logical conclusion it means that his feelings for Mike would cause a minute of lightness as he freefalls and then the sudden thud as he collides with the very solid ground.
He doesn't think the analogy does either of them any favours.
But as much as he wants to deny it he knows he is on the edge of something major, one could even say life changing. He has only ever felt this way once before, when Jessica plucked him from the mail room and offered to send him to school and change his life. And it wasn't that his life beforehand was particularly bad or anything, it was just ... average. Middle of the road. He would have found work that paid well enough to keep a roof over his head and food on his table but not much else. He would have wandered through life with no direction or aim. But Jessica saw something in him he didn't even see in himself and everything he has now he owes to her. And that includes Mike.
Yes, it has not escaped his notice that both he and Mike came from similar beginnings, given a helping hand from someone even when they wanted it but didn't think they deserved it. And he thinks that the last time he took that leap, changed paths and crossed tracks and went headfirst into a new life, it worked out pretty damn well. But as much as he wants to he can't muster the belief that lightning will strike twice.
"You know," Mike says casually one day, completely out of the blue but they hadn't talked about this for a few weeks so Harvey can't say he hadn't been expecting something anyway, "we've been committing fraud on a daily basis for over two years."
Harvey looks around nervously, afraid that someone has heard even though they are alone in his office. "Yes, I am well aware of that. What's your point?"
"My point is that if we can do that without getting caught, then we can do anything."
He looks so earnest and Harvey wants so badly. And he doesn't know what it is that finally relents, let's go, but it's time.
"Okay," Harvey says on a deep exhale, almost shaking with nerves and he wants to take it back the second he says it but it's out there now and Mike smiles so brightly and genuinely and he can't bring himself to regret it.
"Okay?" Mike says, unbelieving, and Harvey doesn't blame him because they have been talking around this for months and if he wants reassurance then Harvey will give him that.
"Okay."
They go out to dinner that weekend and it's weird. Halfway through Harvey resolves that this was a mistake and he wants to tap out and pretend the whole thing never happened. And Mike must feel that, can sense him pulling away, so with a decisive nod he stands, leaves some cash on the table and pulls Harvey up and out of the restaurant into the cool night air.
It's exactly what Harvey needs and of course Mike somehow knew that. They walk the streets side by side, not touching apart from genuinely accidental brushes of arms. But the conversation begins to flow freely between them and the longer they walk and talk the more Harvey remembers why they are here in the first place. He forgets the fact that Mike is young, male, his subordinate. He forgets that there is a reason he has avoided this for so long (a long laundry list of reasons and histories) and just focuses on the good. The way Mike smiles like he knows some amazing secret and will tell you if you only ask. The way Mike can change from submissive to defiant in the blink of an eye. The feeling that settles deep in the pit of his stomach, the idea that this is exactly right, is everything he always denied he really wanted.
"I don't know how to do this," Harvey blurts, surprising both of them.
Mike stares at him, shocked by this random admission. And because Mike is a better man than he will ever be, he doesn't demand more or shy away, instead responds with a joking, "Well, it's not like I go out on a date with my old, male, boss every other week either," checking each anomaly off with his fingers.
Harvey grins at that, feels a surge of affection swell within. "That's not what I mean and you know it." Because they are on the precipice now, and he wants Mike to realise what he's getting himself in for before it's too late.
"I know. You mean that you don't really do relationships and don't know what this means or how to act or how to cope with the change this will inevitably bring to your life. You mean that you are scared of this going right almost as much as you are scared of it ending badly. You mean that you want this, want me, even though you think that you shouldn't and for the first time in your life you are conceding to your emotions instead of going with your head and it terrifies you. Right?"
Harvey grabs at Mike's arm and pulls him from the middle of the sidewalk, presses them both against the brick wall of a random building. "How the hell do you know that?" he asks, and his voice is almost as desperate as he feels. He feels dizzy and overwhelmed and everything is knocked off-kilter.
"Because I know you," Mike says, like it's the simplest and easiest thing in the world. And then he shifts forward slightly. His movement is slow enough that Harvey could stop him if he wanted to, he is giving him that option, but Harvey doesn't move, just takes a shallow breath and closes his eyes and feels the gentle brush of Mike's lips against his own.
He wishes he could say that he's become more certain of this thing now that they are in it. But when he thinks about it, when he does nothing but sit there and think about Mike, he becomes almost paralysed with fear because he is terrified of losing this now that he has found it, now that he knows exactly what it is he would be losing.
And it's not even about the gay thing, which is what anybody would assume, if Harvey deigned to tell anyone about this anyway. Yes, feeling sexually attracted to someone of the same sex for the first time when he is pushing forty is unexpected. It makes him feel like a bumbling teenager, tentative and uncertain for the first time in nearly twenty years. He knows the logistics, and he thinks about it, imagines sex with Mike, their hands and mouths and cocks and he is both anxious and excited by it.
But he's not ready yet. Which, again, an unusual situation to find oneself in at this point in one's life. Because Harvey is used to going from zero to a hundred with random strangers without a second thought. And the need to go slow and tentative is so at odds with his usual self that he almost doubts himself. He thinks maybe he is putting too much thought into this, giving it more significance than it deserves, and he should just drag Mike into a bedroom and have at it.
But he can't do that, not just for him but for Mike too. Because while Mike isn't as new at this as he is (another reason to add to the list of why he hates Trevor) he also knows that the occasional fumble while being high doesn't exactly make him the picture of experience in the physical side of this burgeoning relationship.
And yes, it's a fucking relationship now. In truth it became a relationship the moment their first date started, what with the two years of pre-dating that came with it. Harvey Specter is in a relationship with Mike Ross and it fucking terrifies him.
"You're like a rock and I'm like the water," Mike tells him.
They are sitting in a theatre about to watch the latest Broadway sensation, the play that everyone wants to see but tickets sold out five minutes after they went on sale and yet Harvey still managed to procure tickets for the evening show when Mike mentioned wanting to see it that morning. The noise of the room bubbles around them as it steadily fills up and he turns to Mike, genuinely thinking he has misheard him in the din of the room.
"I'm sorry what?"
"You are a rock and I am the water." Mike repeats, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"Am I supposed to know what that means?"
Mike grins. "You know how stone is a solid mass, stoic and unyielding, yet the constant flow of water over it can smooth its edges, change its shape. It's a slow and subtle process, but the end result is all that matters."
Harvey feels a sensation that if he was more romantic he might describe as having his breath taken away. He reaches over, wraps his hand around Mike's fingers, and somehow Mike's grin becomes wider. He doesn't let go until intermission.
He invites Mike over for dinner one night. The invitation feels casual and innocent enough and he doesn’t think it through, doesn’t think about what will happen after they've finished eating and they are alone within the four walls of his apartment, sitting side by side on the couch. For the first time in his life Harvey experiences the reality of unresolved sexual tension.
His favourite jazz record is playing and they are sitting in silence, not touching, not even looking at each other. And then Mike is there, invading his space and Harvey meets his mouth eagerly. They've made out enough times now that the feel of rough skin and lips is no longer a shock. In fact, he kinda likes that now, looks forward to it. Mike grasps at Harvey’s shirt and pulls as he lies back on the couch.
Harvey loves the feel of Mike's body against the length of his, the younger man squirming slightly. He deepens the kiss, feels Mike run his hands through his hair (Harvey is convinced the bastard loves messing his carefully styled hair almost as much as the kissing because the two acts are done in unison almost every time). He slips a hand under Mike's t-shirt and Mike stills at the touch, surprised. He breaks their kiss but keeps their faces close and they breathe the same air.
Harvey's fingers splay over his ribs, the touch light. Mike grins and resumes the kissing, his hands going to Harvey's button-down shirt and slowly undoing each button. He pushes the shirt from Harvey's frame and the older man helps, sitting up slightly to shed the material from his body. In the brief time apart Mike quickly divests himself of his tee so when Harvey returns their bare chests press together.
Mike can't lie still. His hands wander all over Harvey's back and he grinds their bodies together and Harvey wishes he could complain but he is too busy enjoying it. Because Mike's hands are warm and sure on his skin and he can't remember the last time he felt so drugged just from kissing someone and it's all Mike.
But then Mike's hands go to the button on Harvey's jeans and Harvey is on the other side of the couch so fast it's like an electric shock. They just stare at each other across the length of the suddenly ridiculously long couch, breaths ragged and chests heaving.
"I'm sorry," Harvey breathes, because Mike must be feeling hurt and rejected and confused.
"It's okay."
"It's not that I don’t want to ... you know ..." And it's the truth. He thinks about it a lot and wants it even more and all it takes is one furtive look from Mike down to his bulging pants for Mike to believe him. "I'm just not ready."
And he means it in every sense of the word, making a mental note to get supplies the next time he is at the drugstore. Because while he isn't ready yet he knows he's almost there, almost ready to take it to the next level and when that day comes he wants to be able to seize it. And he didn’t think about the implications of inviting Mike over for a home cooked meal, the signals it must have sent, and he feels terrible.
"It's okay, Harvey," Mike says again, and to prove it he reaches over and presses a hand to his thigh. "I should go," he adds, grabbing his shirt and putting it back on.
"No, wait," Harvey says quickly, desperately. "Stay. Please?"
Mike nods. They end up snuggled together on the couch watching Clue and when it's over Harvey asks Mike to stay the night. And he does.
Okay, so the sex thing is becoming a bit of an issue. Well, more accurately, the not-having-sex thing is the issue.
Ever since what Harvey privately refers to as The Couch Incident things have been different. Mike spends a night or two a week at his place but all they do is sleep. Mike has made no move to further their physical relationship from the teenage second-base place it currently resides, very obviously keeps his hands above the waistline. It almost feels like they are an old married couple who have reached that companionable stage.
That’s a thought that troubles him on so many levels.
He honestly doesn’t know what he did to deserve someone like Mike. Because there are few people out there who would have the patience for this. More than once he has expected Mike to throw up his hands in frustration and say you know what, you clearly have too many issues to deal with and I can't keep going at this snail's pace and fuck you I'm outta here. But he never did. He's still here by Harvey's side.
And Harvey is in love with him.
The realisation came to him one morning as they lay in bed. It was a Sunday and they had nowhere to be and Harvey shifted closer to Mike, resting a hand on the younger mans chest. He could feel his rhythmic heartbeat through the threadbare t-shirt. Mike sighed contentedly and shifted closer even though he was still mostly asleep. And suddenly Harvey just knew.
And he thinks now would be a good time to start with the sex only he doesn’t know how to bring the topic up. Yes, he knows that sounds stupid and weak (Harvey sometimes being a coward when it comes to Mike is not a new thing) but it's become this weird thing between them and he doesn’t know if Mike would appreciate him making this decision for them.
Seriously, thinking about it this much is making his head hurt.
There is a knock at the door and when he gets up to answer he discovers Mike on the other side. He looks completely exhausted, and he's the most amazing thing Harvey has ever seen.
"Hey," Mike says wearily.
Harvey grabs at his tie and yanks him inside the apartment and kisses him desperately. It takes a moment for Mike to catch up but he does, dropping his messenger bag and wrapping his arms around Harvey's shoulders. Harvey breaks the kiss to push the jacket from Mike's frame and when he starts work on Mike's tie the younger man looks up at him and asks, "Everything okay?"
Harvey groans internally, because of course Mike's initial reaction to Harvey being so forward and desperate is concern. He doesn’t answer, just removes the tie and then his shirt and drops them on top of the jacket and takes Mike's hand and leads him to the bedroom.
They stand in the middle of the room and Harvey starts to unbutton his own shirt but only gets two buttons undone before Mike bats his hands away and takes over the task for himself. Harvey looks at Mike, waits for him to meet his gaze, and when he finally does they just stare at each other as Mike removes his shirt and then his undershirt. Mike smiles softly at him and Harvey knows he has realised what is about to happen.
Harvey reaches over, cups Mike's face in his hands and presses their foreheads together. "I love you," he whispers.
He can feel Mike's small start of surprise but then he kisses him frantically and with all the love he possesses. His hands slide down Mike’s chest and begin work on his pants.
Mike breaks away. "Harvey, I-"
"Don't tell me," Harvey interrupts. Because he has a pretty good idea what Mike is about to say and he wants to hear it, just not right now. "Not yet. Tell me after. Please?"
Mike nods, and again Harvey is touched by his generous spirit. Mike sits on the edge of the bed, begins removing his shoes and socks and pants. Harvey joins him and does the same, sheds everything until they are both clad only in underwear.
Mike inches back and sits on the centre of the bed, waiting for Harvey. Harvey is a little slower in his movements but he is soon crawling across the bed to Mike. His stomach rolls from a combination of trepidation and want but as soon as they are together, kissing and touching, everything feels like it has fallen into place.
Harvey slips his hand under Mike's boxers, because he knows that Mike will let him set the pace so he needs to be the one moving things forward. He wraps his fingers around Mike's cock and starts moving, light and tentative. It's exploration more than anything else, but Mike doesn’t seem to mind, writhing from the touch.
He pushes Mike onto his back and trails his mouth down his neck and chest. He explores the skin with his hands and lips and tongue but soon enough Mike is dragging him back up, thrusting his tongue into his mouth and hooking a leg over his hip. Harvey is painfully hard as he rocks their bodies together.
Mike slides a hand between their bodies and cups Harvey through the material of his briefs. But Harvey is desperate, needs more, and he breaks their kiss to divest them of the remaining layers. He lies atop Mike, tries to hide the trembling of his body by kissing him deeply. He aligns their cocks and then makes slow and deliberate movements. Mike's breath hitches, hand fisting in the material of the sheets, and he murmurs Harvey's name. Harvey keeps their eyes locked as he increases the speed. Mike slips a hand between them and wraps his hand around their cocks. It's a completely new sensation, amazing and overwhelming and everything.
It's over quickly, Harvey stilling and gasping as he comes, and he would be embarrassed by just how long he didn't last if Mike didn't come a few seconds later. Harvey has enough presence of mind to roll off Mike so he doesn't crush the younger man with his weight, and they both lie there, short of breath with pounding hearts.
After he regains enough air in his lungs Harvey reaches over and grabs a wad of tissues from the bedside table and they clean themselves up before collapsing back onto the bed. They lay side by side, Harvey's hand light on Mike's hip, completely blissed out.
"Can I tell you now?" Mike asks softly.
Harvey nods. He braces himself for what he knows is coming, because he has never heard the words before and he knows this will change everything.
"I love you, too."
Harvey thinks he was right to hold off on the sex thing, because as soon as they crossed that bridge the floodgates flew open and all bets were off.
Okay, so that was an overload of idioms but the point still stands.
It's only been six months since the nearly disastrous dinner and Mike is practically living at Harvey's and their sex life went from second base to oh my god I didn’t know that position was physically possible in less than a fortnight and everything feels so fucking perfect he can barely stand it. Seriously, he expects it to fall apart any minute now, and if that moment comes god help the person who causes their downfall because Harvey will fight til the ends of the earth to protect this life.
When Jessica unexpectedly calls him into her office he expects the worst. He is hiding a lot from her now and if she has discovered any of his secrets then everything will be different.
But then Jessica tells him she is thinking of pulling Mike out of the Associate pool and putting him on Junior Partner track and his grin is so big it nearly breaks his face. She asks if he thinks Mike is ready and he tells her he has no doubt whatsoever.
When Jessica asks if he wants to be the one to tell Mike the good news Harvey opens his mouth to say yes before he thinks better of it and tells her that she should tell him herself. He and Mike got very good very quickly at compartmentalising their lives but he can't imagine giving Mike that kind of news without the two of them blowing their cover by doing something very inappropriate in the middle of the office.
He is formulating a plan as soon as he leaves Jessica’s office. He ropes Donna into it (she doesn’t know what is happening but one look at Harvey's face tells her that whatever is about to happen she wants in on) so when Mike enters Jessica's office three hours later her assistant calls Donna to let her know. She then nods at Harvey through the glass walls and he quickly scribbles a note, leaves it with Donna to give to Mike when he comes by and walks into one of the copy rooms, kicking a first year Associate (he has no idea what her name is) out.
The wait isn’t long but it's excruciating. He knows that right at this very moment Mike is receiving the kind of trust and validation he so deserves and he feels so proud the feeling threatens to break free from his chest. When Mike enters the room, closing the door behind him, he looks completely overwhelmed and shocked and happy. He looks up at Harvey and says, "Is this really happening?"
Harvey closes the gap between them, presses his lips to Mike's, kisses him fervently. "Congratulations, babe."
Mike has wrapped his fingers around Harvey's tie, is squishing the material between his fingers and Harvey would be annoyed at him destroying the material if Mike didn’t look so dazed. Mike is grabbing onto the only solid thing he has in his life, and that's Harvey. It's always been Harvey and god willing, it always will be.
"What happens now?"
"You'll finish up your current cases and move to a new office at the south end of the floor and you'll bring in your own clients and work your ass off and win every case."
"Is that all?" Mike says, laughing lightly. And then his forehead creases as he realises something. "This means I won't be working for you anymore. Will you hire a new associate?"
And Harvey can honestly say he hadn't thought about it. It hadn’t occurred to him how Mike's promotion would affect his job, all he could think about was how great this was for Mike and how much he deserved it. Chalk one up for the selflessness of love.
"Come on, we should go. Dinner tonight to celebrate."
He goes to walk away but before he can Mike has wrapped his arms around him, squeezing tightly. Harvey hugs back, and when Mike whispers, "I love you," in his ear Harvey smiles, and then kisses him quickly before exiting the room.
Harvey wonders when they should start telling people.
He honestly didn't think it was something he would have to consider. He always imagined one of two scenarios: either they wouldn’t work out and there would be nothing to tell, or they would get caught out somehow and the task would be taken out of his hands. Neither scenario has come to pass, which he is eternally thankful for.
There are things to consider. The most pressing issue is obviously that they will be outing themselves. Not an insignificant matter really. Plus there is the issue of people thinking that Mike slept his way to a promotion, and he doesn’t want to subject Mike to that kind of talk.
But what's the alternative? Living a lie? Because that’s what this feels like. It's the sin of omission.
And he knows it took him a long time to get here, to get to this place where he is okay with this, but he has this incredible life and he’s in love with an amazing man and to pretend otherwise feels like a betrayal of all that is good in his life.
"Does it bother you?" Harvey asks Mike, completely out of the blue, but let’s face it, that's pretty much how all their serious conversations start.
"Does what bother me?"
"Keeping us secret?"
Mike crawls across the couch (yup, still ridiculously long, they really need to think about redecorating this place) and settles himself in Harvey's lap, thighs straddling his hips. He presses his mouth to Harvey's in a soft kiss. "No."
"Are you sure?" Because keeping such a big part of your life secret can be somewhat isolating and though Harvey doesn’t mind that for himself he knows Mike is a people person and this life means a lot of sacrifices and lying to people and he doesn’t want Mike to resent him for that.
"I’m sure. I like it better this way. It’s like we live in our own little world. And there is nothing outside of these four walls that matters to me as much as you do."
Okay, so Mike’s sure. Harvey tilts his head slightly as he asks, "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"
"Nope, but lucky for you I have a pretty good memory," he grins, leaning over and kissing him.
One day he will tell Mike the whole story. He's pretty sure Mike has already guessed most of it from the bits and pieces Harvey slips into conversation, reveals his history slowly. One day he will tell him the reasons why he was so reluctant in the beginning.
He will talk about how he had never really been in a real relationship before, because he was always so busy with school and then with work. He will tell him how the few people he ever considered having a real relationship with didn't want a relationship with him in return. He will say that the one serious relationship he had was when he was in his mid twenties and it lasted all of four months before she told him it was over by cheating on him. He will tell him that history had shown that opening himself up to someone and making himself vulnerable will always end badly and he didn’t have a reason to think this time would be different. He will say that back when this thing between them was an unnamed entity he was afraid it would destroy both the friendship and working relationship they had and he could bear anything but the loss of that.
He will also tell him that he was wrong.
Because this thing between them is no longer unnamed or unknown. He doesn’t go so far to say they were destined, even though Mike does. (And Harvey might not have a genius memory but he can remember verbatim Mike’s opinion on the subject: how many hundreds of things had to happen to get us into the same room – Grammy’s suddenly needing more care, Trevor offering me the deal and me saying yes for the first time, his suppliers choosing that deal to betray him, the pool being closed, me reading that book in elementary school, Rick Sorkin never showing, Donna letting me into that room. And that’s just on my side – Jessica had to promote you on that day and book that particular room at that particular hotel on that particular day… Harvey would quote more but at that point he silenced Mike by nipping at his hip and wrapping his fingers around Mike's cock.)
But what Harvey will say is this: Mike is the only person he has ever loved and he is pretty okay with that.
"I don’t think I ever said thank you," Harvey whispers.
Mike opens his eyes blearily. It’s been a long day. Not only did they spend all day moving into their new place but they then spent the better part of the evening christening as many rooms and surfaces as they could. "What for?" he asks hoarsely.
"For waiting for me."
Mike smiles at him, reaching over and running his fingers through Harvey’s hair. "I could never do anything else."