Chapter Text
Removing the Soul was excruciating.
It made their muscles clench, like an electric shock. Made pain ring through their bones, keen and terrible. Made them wonder if the thing they were pulling to the point of breaking was merely the goo-like substance binding the Soul to them, or perhaps their own skin. (It never was their skin, but it always felt like it, at first.) Kris clutched at their chest, the focal point, and alternated between gritting their teeth and opening their mouth in a silent scream. The pain would keep intensifying until it suddenly stopped.
Tearing, tearing…
It hurt because their body didn’t want to disgorge the Soul.
The Soul itself didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt wonderful. The Soul was warm, and curious about everything. It cared about everything so much, wanted to learn, wanted to see. Wanted to see everything, even in this small town forgotten by the world of humans. It wanted to hear what Catty had to say about Bratty and vice versa, and to open every door it came across, and to talk to the strange skeleton that had moved to town, and even, for some godforsaken reason, to read Alphys’s anime reviews.
The Soul wanted to give Alphys the chocolates from Undyne, but it also wanted to let Kris eat them, because it knew that Kris loved chocolate. So the Soul did both. It pulled Kris through different paths of time, showed them different outcomes. The Soul was powerful.
Kris was also powerful; Kris had the power to deny the Soul what it wanted.
The connection finally snapped, and the pain went away. The Soul glowed red in their hand.
Kris felt hollow, and heavy.
With the pain, the warmth had also vanished. The eager curiosity, the caring. All those addictive jots of unfathomable excitement towards everything alive. There was, of course, still the baseline love for their family, affection for their friends, but without the Soul, it all felt unnervingly flat. A numb ache. Kris felt cold.
They managed to cross the room to the rusty cage in their wagon, with clumsy, labored movements. With the Soul in them, their movements were fluid, weightless. Before encountering the Soul, they had slouched and dragged their feet, but they’d never had difficulty crossing their bedroom. They were too used to being guided, now.
Kris opened the cage, deposited the Soul inside, and closed it. The sound of the deadbolt sliding home brought the tension in the room to tantalizing levels. So deliciously thrilling.
The Soul wiggled around nervously in midair, and Kris smiled. The cold hollow inside them was only intensifying, but they could bear that much for long enough to get at least a few things done.
“You’re so helpless like this,” they taunted, though they knew the Soul couldn’t hear and would grasp their sentiment just as well if they didn’t speak aloud; bodiless, the Soul didn’t have any of the physical senses. It could only feel emotions, and general vibes.
(So, in their dysfunctional symbiosis, the Soul seized Kris’s senses, and their ability to interact with their environment, and Kris leeched off of the Soul’s feelings. As a result, Kris understood the Soul far better than the Soul understood Kris. So much the better; the Soul loved mysteries, and Kris loved being one.)
Unable to help themself (as much as they tried to curb any growing dependence), Kris stuck their finger between the bars of the cage to skim the Soul’s exterior. A merciful dose of warmth took the edge off of their discomfort, and they felt the Soul’s diffidence, as if it was internally wondering, Are they mad at me?
Kris’s grin widened, but turned to a grimace as they retracted their finger and had to adjust again to the icy feeling.
Like coming inside after standing in the sun; the dark was so much worse once you had seen the light.
“That wasn’t nice, what you did to Noelle and Berdly today,” Kris said, assuming a voice like their mother giving a lecture. “I know we went back and redid it, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, you know. That’s an hour in the cage, to think about what you’ve done.” (An hour was going to suck, but it was doable if they ate enough comfort food.)
Penitence emanated from the Soul, and Kris let out a dry laugh.
It had been bad, with Noelle and Berdly; the Soul had felt ashamed as they were doing it, and Kris had been stunned by just how unpleasant things could get, even knowing they were going to fix it later. Neither of them had known what would happen, but once it started, it was impossible to deny the Soul’s curiosity, even when they felt the Soul’s shame just as strongly. It was just…Ice Shock was one of Noelle’s spells. It had seemed normal, to use it. And from there, well, each of Kris’s morbid impulses– things they would think but never do –had become playable options, and the Soul couldn’t resist. Kris’s hands had been shaking by the time they reached Queen’s mansion.
Even now that it was undone, and they had visited Castle Town, for good measure, to see all of the Cyber World recruits all safe and happy, and they knew that Noelle and Berdly were both fine, it hadn’t ceased to feel real that they had manipulated her into killing them all. It wasn’t the truth anymore, but it had been, once. And the Soul had been driving that ship.
But that wasn’t the real reason Kris was locking it up.
Yes, it was good to punish it a little, to keep it in check and to make sure it knew that Kris wasn’t just some puppet, and it would also be good to get it straight, right now, that nothing like…That…could ever happen again. But it wasn’t the real reason.
They just needed time without the Soul’s surveillance or input. They had strings of their own to pull, as it happened. Their own fun and chaos to make. It wouldn’t do for the Soul to get bored, after all.
The Knight was the reason the Soul had come; the Knight had provided the adventures that kept the Soul interested. But Kris didn’t want to depend on the Knight.
After all. Look how that had gone for poor Spamton.
Kris struggled their way out of the room. Couldn’t go far in this state, but there were plenty of things to do in a small radius.
In the end, they could only keep themself away for forty-six minutes before the hollowness got to them, but it wasn’t like the Soul had a watch or anything, and it was the thought that counted.
But when they dragged themself back into the bedroom, a dull panic filled them instantly, at the absence of any warm, red glow.
Half in denial, they turned on the light. The cage, the wagon– they were gone.
The Soul was gone.
…
“Shh, come here. Come to me.”
The cage was open, but the Soul didn’t escape. Its confusion flavored the air: Who is this person? What are they doing?
The Vessel reached into the cage with both hands. Touching the Soul was overwhelming; not long ago, the Vessel had been unable to touch anything. But with enough restarts, eventually a version of reality had been created in which they, too, were real. Embodied and tangible, instead of just floating in the code as a helpless observer, probing for a crack to slip through.
Nothing could have prepared them for the experience of holding this glowing, red heart. Their whole body trembled, and it was all they could do not to let out a yelp of jubilation. They had only dragged the wagon into the forest near the house; the anticipation had been too much for them to go any farther. If they made a noise, it was possible Kris could hear them. The Vessel was new to having physical senses; they didn’t yet know their limits.
They sat there and let themself get used to the feeling of the Soul in their hands. Their Soul, in their hands.
“Oh,” they sighed, once they could trust themself to make a sound. “Oh, you’re so beautiful.” They trailed their fingers down the side of the Soul, the way they had seen Kris caress it a few times. Tears streamed down their face. Their eyes were wide and raptly focused. “Did that mean old Kris lock you away? Just for being curious? Just for wanting to play?”
The Vessel pressed the Soul to their face, and it was ecstasy. The cool autumn air had nothing on the cold of the Vessel’s emptiness, but neither of them could come close to dampening the comforting heat of the Soul. The Vessel inhaled deeply, and the smell of warmth was in their nose. It was intoxicating. How could Kris have failed to appreciate this gift?
Kris didn’t deserve it, and they never had.
“Don’t worry. You don’t have to deal with them anymore. Your Vessel is here.”