Archive of Our Own

Beds in Jujutsu High are supposed to accommodate only one person. If they are taller than average and have wide shoulders, the bed will hardly suffice to make them comfortable. 

Gojo Satoru and Getou Suguru barely fit in the bed but they're determined on not moving to the floor. Satoru lays with his face to the wall, forehead almost touching it and Suguru's chest supporting his back. It's a tight fit and Satoru's natural instinct to wriggle around has to be stopped but the warmth of Suguru's body and his nose brushing over the nape of his neck are enough to keep him in place. 

"Satoru, wake up." 

The furnace at Satoru's back disappears and the boy groans feeling chilly air attack his body. It serves as a quick reminder that he's not wearing any clothes. 

"We got classes in 20, hurry up," Suguru's voice is hoarse in the morning, the aftermath of catching barley few hours of sleep. Since they stepped into Suguru's bedroom the night before, sleep was the last thing on their minds. "Are you hurt?" 

Satoru's mind is still hazy with sleep but he dwells on Suguru's words, as his best friend caresses his hip with a warm hand. His lower back doesn't hurt, though he sure as Hell can tell that his ass went through quite a journey. What brings him real discomfort is that he can feel dried cum on and in himself. They were too tired to wash up before they fell asleep. 

"You don't have to act so gentleman-y," Satoru moves to lay on his back, Suguru's palm relocating to the middle of his chest, drawing small patterns there. "Last night, you deflowered me quite without a care." 

"But you liked it."

"Of course I did," Satoru grabs Suguru's hands and moves it to his left nipple. "Don't you wanna take another bite?" 

Satoru's eyes are still closed but he knows, he sees, that Suguru has to bite his lower lip and inhale deeply to stay composed. What he tasted the night before is going to leave him eternally hungry for more. 

"If we don't shower now, we're gonna be late and I'm not sure Yaga will dismiss us, if we tell him we fucked."

"Why do you have to be the voice of reason?" Satoru wines but slowly hoists himself from the too small bed. Suguru has his hand on Satoru's lower back and the white haired boy is quite thankful, because only now he can truly feel the aftermath of their activities. 

"Because you're a big baby," Satoru pouts, Suguru's words highlighted already, and the black haired boy leans in and kisses his lips. 

"Maybe I am," With a wide smile Satoru detangles himself from Suguru and makes his way towards the bathroom. He stops in the doorway, hip jutted out, ass in full view and his ocean blue eyes searching for Suguru's black ones. "The last one to the bathroom is the weakest," he says, as his left foot breaches the threshold of the bathroom. 

Suguru is at him in a second. They stumble under the shower, chest pressed to chest, and Satoru marvels at the way Suguru's hair cascades down his shoulders. He lets himself be pushed under the water and sprayed over his face straight from the shower head. He deserves it. He can't stop a giggling fit from coming out of his mouth, when Suguru slips on the slippery floor and almost falls down. He keeps laughing even, when the other boy shoves him to the wall and bites at his neck. 

They are late to Yaga's class and Suguru apologizes for the both of them, while Satoru keeps a sheepish smile spreading on his lips. 

It's the beginning of their second year in Jujutsu High and Gojo Satoru likes being kissed by his best friend. 

They are not dating. Ieiri Shoko doesn't believe them. 

The three of them – Shoko, Satoru and Suguru – were assigned a mission to exorcise two second grade curses on the suburbs of Tokyo – a way too easy task, if you ask Satoru. They were finished with it in no time, so before coming back to Jujutsu High, where Yaga would surely make them train more, they decided to make a stop at a convenience store. 

Suguru goes inside, while Shoko and Satoru wait for him sitting on a guard rail by the road. 

"I thought you were going to keep it a secret," Shoko says, her voice calm as always but with a lilt of humour. 

"It?" Satoru makes a show of asking and furrowing his brows, even though he's well aware what the girl is talking about. 

"Your relationship."

Gojo Satoru has always been told that he's perfect at whatever he does, so he mastered the art of acting like he doesn't care, wearing a mask, which hides his real emotions. It's easier when everyone thinks of you as the jokester, the funny guy that can never be hurt. If he pretends long enough, he starts to believe it himself. 

"There is no relationship," Satoru says with a smug grin. "We just fuck from time to time, that's all." 

Shoko's gaze is piercing through him, dark eyes stern but a small smile spreads on her lips. Since they met last year, she proved to be devilish enough to stand Suguru and Satoru's antics.

"And that's the reason, why you're not covering that huge hickey on your neck?" 

At her words, Satoru moves his hand to the left side of him neck, hiding it. He averts his eyes from the girl and looks to the ground, hoping the burning he feels on his cheeks isn't that visible. 

"It's not even that side of your neck, idiot," Shoko sighs and Satoru quickly moves to hide the other side of his neck too. "You're such a helpless case." 

Satoru wants to tell her that it doesn't matter, that Suguru and him are just fooling around, that it won't affect their missions and training. That they're still the same two best friends. But then the sliding door of the convenience store opens and Suguru comes towards them. 

"What's going on?" he asks upon seeing Satoru with both hands cupping his neck and head facing the ground. 

"Apparently, he didn't know about that massive hickey you gave him," Shoko takes a cigarette from the package that Suguru just bought and lights it up. "If you keep being disgusting next to me, I'm gonna quit school." 

Satoru doesn't look up, he can still feel his cheeks burning, but he hears Suguru light up his own cigarette and then after a moment there's something hard and sweet probing at his lips. 

"Stop pouting," Suguru holds a lollipop in front of him and Satoru takes it into his mouth without a word. "You're being such a baby." 

The smell of cigarette smoke envelopes him, as Suguru sits on his left side, their shoulders touching. Satoru knows that no matter what excuse he makes, Shoko and Suguru would still turn it against him or they could just point out the blush on his cheeks and he'd be doomed. Suguru can baby him in his room, behind closed door, where no one else can see them. Out in the open, Satoru remembers that he's a Gojo. 

He holds his head high, damn the pink dusting his cheeks, and pulls the candy out of his mouth with a pop. He hopes Suguru is watching him. His tongue leaves his mouth to lick at the lollipop, to twirl it around and then press the candy to his puckered lips. Suguru bought one of his favourite flavors, the cherry one, so Satoru doesn't even have to pretend to be enjoying the sweet. Suguru knows about his weakness to sugary treats. 

"So I was thinking," Satoru licks the lollipop again and side-eyes his best friend. As he expected, Suguru is indeed watching him, his black eyes dark and unmoving from behind the smoke. "We should go back to annoy the first years." 

Shoko scoffs beside them.

"I believe they're already traumatized by Yaga's intense training, they don't need your company."

Satoru turns towards her, his blue eyes glancing at her from above his sunglasses. He's glad she took the bait to change the topic. Satoru loves being the center of attention but not in the matter of his and Suguru's new-found activities. This is their's and their's only. 

"They have to be ready for everything. This guy, you know the blond with a stick up his ass?" Satoru gestures with the lollipop in his hand, as if it could help his friends with understanding him. 

"Nanami," Suguru helps. 

"Yes, that one. Let's go annoy him, he seems super gullible," It is no longer only a matter of changing the subject, Satoru does enjoy making fun of people, who have no chill. 

There was a time, when he thought Getou Suguru, his new classmate, was one of those people – with no sense of humour and with a little bit too serious attitude, just boring. But it soon turned out that Getou Suguru was all lopsided smiles, striking answers and accurate jabs in between Satoru's ribs. The very first person in his life to just treat him like another teenager and not Gojo Satoru from the Gojo Clan, the bearer of Six Eyes and the heir of Limitless cursed technique. 

Together they are always just Satoru and Suguru. Nothing else. 

"I'm sorry to say this," Shoko hops off the railing and throws the butt of her cigarette to the ground. "But you have a terrible taste in men, Suguru." 

Beside him, Suguru chuckles, that breathy, subtle laugh of his and their shoulders press into each other a little bit more. Satoru puts the lollipop back into his mouth. 

"Don't be ridiculous." 

Gojo Satoru excels at most things he gets his hands on. His upbringing in the Gojo Glan due to the cursed techniques he inherited served as a boost to his ego since he was born, so after years he knows about his natural tendencies. 

He is also painfully aware that he excels at being stubborn too. 

"I'm not leaving you here," Satoru says, his voice not leaving space for arguing, but it's Suguru so it doesn't really work on him. "You're injured." 

Suguru doesn't roll his eyes, he doesn't even sigh, he just stares at Satoru with a disapproving look and the white haired boy decides on the spot that the look doesn't suit his friend. 

They finished another mission, just him and Suguru this time, and as usually everything went well. They exorcised the curse, didn't let it hurt humans and the fight brought them the adrenaline they craved. All in all, it was a good exercise, much better than uneventful training Yaga implemented on them at Jujutsu High. 

It was fun until the ground underneath their feet gave in and half of the building they were in came tumbling down. Satoru came out of it unharmed due to Infinity but Suguru weren't so fortunate. He ordered one of his curses to entwine him and cushion the fall but it wasn't fast enough, only partially succeeding at protecting him. He ended up with a slight concussion, blood seeping from his brow and a searing pain in his leg. 

"Just go to school and get someone, who can use the revered cursed technique," Suguru points out. "I'll be fine." 

Rationally, Satoru knows leaving Suguru to get help would be the quickest solution but at the same time the idea of leaving him injured and alone doesn't sit well with him. It's even worse that it has happened before and he was never as torn to go, as he is now. 

"Get on my back," Satoru watches Suguru shake his head and then wince slightly, his hand coming to his head. The sight makes Satoru nauseous. He reaches out and tries to wipe away the blood trickling down Suguru's face. "Your tired ass isn't that heavy, I can handle it." 

Suguru's lips are pressed into a thin line, a sign he doesn't approve of Satoru's way of thinking, but it's in his eyes, the way the eyelids seem heavy over his black irises that Satoru knows he won this fight. Satoru turns his back to him, crouching and soon there are arms around his neck and a strong chest pressed into his back. 

"Such a spoiled brat," Suguru mumbles, when Satoru takes them away from the fallen building and starts walking in the direction of Jujutsu High. "Always getting what he wants," His voice comes sluggish, from where his head rests upon Satoru's shoulder.

"I never realized it bothered you," Satoru says, his natural cockiness lacing his voice. Suguru presses his cheek to Satoru's, smearing blood and sweat, and mumbles against his skin. 

"It's different when you beg for a dick." 

There's laugh bubbling in Satoru's throat that he simply can't help. Suguru seems to be a little out of it, probably because of the concussion, which makes him speak without his usual word filter. It's funny, the way his head lolls up and down and he talks some more without making much sense, it really is, but at the same time it's dreadful, because Suguru is still injured. 

"Wanna fuck you, when we get back," Suguru whispers straight into his ear and Satoru has to fight a shiver. 

"First we get you to the infirmary. Don't fall asleep."

Suguru mumbles something incoherent against him and Satoru squeezes his thighs tightly to make him focus. It's better to have him talk nonsense than fall into unconsciousness. 

The longer they walk, the more Satoru can't help thinking – thinking about the reality of being a jujutsu sorcerer. All the sacrifices they make, all the danger they have to endure, all of their scars and bruises, all of this pain just to protect weak humans, who can't do it on their own. No one ever thanks them, there is no reward at the end of the day, survival is the best thing you can get. Satoru hates them, those weaklings, for hurting Suguru, his Suguru. 

"I could kill them all," Satoru doesn't realize he said it out loud, until Suguru nudges him with his nose, the way he always does when they're in bed and Satoru is hesitant to share his thoughts. "Those stupid humans, we have to protect."|

Suguru hums beside him, neither in agreement or protest, and Satoru realizes he's probably close to falling into unconsciousness. He drops the current topic, easing the coiling in his stomach and tries to get back Suguru's attention with a lighter tone. 

"Damn, you're heavier than I thought, must be those massive tits of yours." 

The arms around his neck untangle and fall loosely down his chest. Satoru quickens his steps, as he spots the rooftops of Jujutsu High before them.  

"Don't pretend you don't like 'em." 

Satoru can't stand the thought of Suguru being permanently affected by the injury, he should get help as quickly as possible. But his friend's remarks wake up the seventeen year old boy inside him that he truly is. He sprints the last distance, his knees weakening and arms burning, but he can't wait any longer – Suguru needs to be healed quickly, so that he can take care of the arousal burning through Satoru's veins. 

Being a jujutsu sorcerer isn't easy but Gojo Satoru decides being a teenager is even worse. 

An occasion to scandalize the first years – Haibara and Nanami – is always an opportunity Satoru can't miss. It's just physically impossible for him, the need to annoy the younger students is just too immense. But when they unknowingly make a path for a good joke, that's when Satoru is almost ecstatic. 

The four of them – Satoru, Suguru, Haibara and Nanami –  are in the locker room, getting changed after training. Nobody talks, they're a little too tired for that, just taking off dirty clothes to go to the showers. But before any of them is ready to wash, Haibara's voice echoes through the room.

"Getou–senpai, what curse did you fight to have such scratches on your back?" 

Haibara's eyes are big and curious, filled with such pure naivety Satoru is almost sorry for him. Almost. Satoru has to stifle a laugh, biting into his lower lip, as the younger student peers at the scratches. Suguru keeps a smirk on his face but it's apparent he's only seconds away from losing it himself. 

Nanami looks fed up with them all. 

"It was a feral beast," Satoru steps closer to them, acting as if his laugh is the aftermath of a great fight. "Suguru spend almost the whole night fighting it."

"It seemed to be especially active at that part of the day," Suguru adds, looking at Satoru, their eyes meeting above Haibara's head. 

Until last night, their sex was all about pent up frustration and sharing pleasure. They went at it as long as they had strength and Satoru's ass didn't get too sensitive, although even then they usually found a way to keep going. But last night it was Suguru, who became a beast. Satoru wasn't sure, what came over his friend but he wasn't in a position to object. 

Compared to the other times, Suguru fucked him slow and deep, unhurried and savoring every minute. The one round dragged on forever, every time Satoru was sure he was going to cum, Suguru held him up, preventing him from reaching his climax. 

At some point of the night Satoru was so overpowered by the pleasure that he could only claw at Suguru's back and let tears flow down his cheeks. 

"But you managed to exorcise it?" Haibara asks, still unaware that the older boys are making a fool out of him. 

"Of course he did," Satoru lays his hand over the red marks on Suguru's back, tracing them with his fingers. "And then he swallowed it like he always does." 

At that, Suguru abruptly turns away from Haibara and Satoru knows he's trying not to laugh from behind his hand. 

"I can't stand it any longer," Nanami suddenly says, voice void of emotions but the red over his cheeks indicates he's not unaffected. "Let's go, Yu." 

"But, Kento, listen. The marks are similar to Gojo–senpai's hand, what curse was it then? Humanoid?" Their voices slowly fade out, as Nanami takes Haibara by the elbow and drags him to the showers. 

Suguru stands hunched over the lockers, his chest heaving and hands trembling. When the younger boys are fully out of sight, he bursts out laughing so loud, Satoru can only silently watch him. His long hair cascades down his shoulders, tangled and sweaty, almost reaching the red marks over his back. His laugh reverberates through the room. 

"Don't piss yourself," Satoru says but feels himself also giving in to Suguru's contagious laughter. 

Suguru reaches a hand towards him, grabbing at his arm and shoving him against Nanami's locker and Satoru is sure the boy is going to kiss him, when he bursts out laughing again. They end up just holding onto each other and laughing until they can't catch their breaths. 

Being raised by the Gojo Clan, Satoru never had it easy at home. From the moment he was born and he opened his ocean blue eyes the expectations from the family has been set. At home nobody ever called him Satoru, it was always master Gojo or master Satoru, never just his name. Even his parents stuck to not using his given name – sweetheart, my son, boy, these were the only  endearments he ever heard. 

When Shoko and Suguru first called him by his given name, it felt like stepping into the fire – it was foreign and scary and he was ready to correct them, to tell them that someone like him can't be so casually called by their name. But then came the time for his first sparring. For the first time ever Satoru has fought with anyone as equally skilled as him and when they were done, Suguru came to him, grabbed him by the shoulder to force the white haired boy to look at him. Are you alright, Satoru? 

At first, he was sure he was drowning, this strange feeling suffocating him and clenching at his chest. But then Shoko and Suguru kept on casually calling him Satoru and he realized they freed him from the shackles his family put on him, when he was a child. 

Now he thrives every time he hears his given name, melting in the knowledge that he can just be himself. 

"What the fuck, Satoru?" 

Barging into Suguru's room – or more like their room – Satoru finds his best friend sitting on the floor with a blanket around his shoulders and a book in hand. So Satoru, being the freed but still spoiled brat that he is, pushes the item from Suguru's hand and precedes to take a seat in his lap. 

"I need your help," Suguru arches his brow, still a little annoyed about the book being taken away from him, but his hands settle on Satoru's hips, so the boy takes it as a good sign. "Can you paint my nails?"  

The lopsided smile that Suguru gives him makes his insides turn and light up as if they were set on fire. 

"Anything for my Satoru." 

They move to sit by the desk, where Satoru gives him the nail polish Shoko lent him. It's navy blue, the color of dark sky. Suguru ties his hair into a high ponytail, which makes him look so hot, Satoru has to keep his eyes on the fingers to keep his racing heart at bay. He blames Suguru's stupidly handsome face, his annoying hot body and the general sexy aura that clings to his best friend wherever he goes, for the way they make Satoru feel. 

This reasoning is easier to live with than admitting that he might be terribly infatuated with Getou Suguru. 

Suguru diligently works with his fingers, he's always been quite good with his handwork – be it his neat handwriting or the skill to make Satoru cum just from fingering him. Satoru watches him work, carefully holding his hands, slowly coating every nail in dark color. They're almost done, when Suguru looks up at him.

"What happened?" 

He resumes painting the nails, when Satoru doesn't answer, just biting into his lower lip. He doesn't press more, patiently waiting and when Satoru sees him finish his last finger, he gathers his thoughts. 

"There's a get together tomorrow in our clan," he says, looking at his nails. He can't help a smile spreading his lips, his hands look extremely pretty now. "I wanna annoy the shit out of them." 

Suguru has a thoughtful look on his face, as if he were trying to solve an equation or a mistery, but he just reaches with his hand and tucks Satoru's hair behind his ear. 

"How much?" he asks and the dark look he's giving Satoru is making the white haired boy breathless. 

"A lot." 

Suguru's smile is worth it all. He urges Satoru to get up and return to sitting in his lap. Carefully he places Satoru's hands around his shoulders, hands hanging in the air behind him so that the nail polish can dry out safely. He dips his hands under Satoru's shirt to hold him by the waist, his hold strong but not bruising. Their crotches and chests press together, when Suguru finally leans in and bites into Satoru's neck. His teeth sink into the skin to the point were it's almost breaking and when Satoru lets out a loud moan of pain and pleasure, Suguru retracts his teeth in order to suck the skin. 

Satoru doesn't know, how long they stay like that – him pliant in Suguru's lap and his best friend lapping at his neck – but the arousal quickly builds up and when Suguru leans back to look him in the eyes, Satoru has only one thing to tell him. 

"Take me to bed or I'm gonna go insane." 

The next night when Satoru comes back to their room he doesn't even have to utter a word. The harsh words from his family have already done enough. Suguru catches the way his blue eyes crystallise with unshed tears and opens his arms to let the boy crash into him. 

"I've got you, Satoru." 

They go on a date, that's not a date until they decide that maybe it is a date. 

There is no day off, the stars are not magically aligning to let them have some free time, so that they can escape reality. Jujutsu sorcerers are always working, especially when they're the best in their generation. Yaga assigns them a mission and as much as they like the rush of adrenaline that awakens in their blood each time they fight curses, there are day when they're just too tired for that. More in the mental than physical way. 

With Suguru's fingers at the nape of his neck, Satoru decides they're not fighting curses today. Today, they're just going to be regular teenagers, no expectations, no responsibilities. They leave their school uniforms on the floor of their bedroom, instead Suguru goes for wide pants and an oversized t-shirt, all in black, and Satoru wears a white sleeveless shirt and squeezes himself into his brand new skinny jeans. 

Today they're not Gojo Satoru and Getou Suguru. They're just Satoru and Suguru, escaping some minor responsibilities. 

They tell Shoko about their plan to ditch the mission, even try to ask her to come with them, but she makes a face and tells them she's got enough of their disgusting antics at school, so no, thank you. Still she knows in case anyone worries they died or something. Nobody would believe that but Suguru insisted they let her know. 

From their bedroom Satoru teleports them straight to Yokohama. 

There is no goal or set route, they just go around the city, wherever their legs lead them to. They walk by the sea and eat crepes from a food stand there. They come across an arcade, so they spend some time there, trying to beat each other in every game they stumble on. They're getting tired in the late afternoon but Satoru has a pleading look on his face, when he proposes they go to the Sea Paradise to see the aquariums and Suguru is a weak man, when it come to those ocean eyes. 

In the end it doesn't matter, what they do, what's important is that they're together. 

Satoru is trying to take a picture of them with his flip phone but he's unsatisfied with each one he makes. Suguru watches him in amusement but tries to convince Satoru that the photos are fine and they can go and find a place to eat. Satoru is having none of it. 

"Just one more time," he whines, lower lip jutted out and eyes trained on the device. He's trying his best but all the pictures he takes look lame and he can't have that. Gojo Satoru never looks lame. 

He holds the phone with its back to their faces, camera hopefully catching the view of them and Satoru tries to pose in a cool way, so that he can later on hang the picture on the wall and keep looking at it with no regrets. He's on his way to click and take the picture, when he feels Suguru's warm lips press into his cheek. Satoru is so taken aback that he bursts out laughing at the same time he uses the camera. 

The picture turns out extremely cheesy but it warms Satoru's insides every time he looks at it, so he keeps it. 

They go to a ramen shop for dinner and then move to a small patisserie, where they try five different types of cakes, each of them in a different bright artificial color. Satoru knows he's sporting a slight blush the whole time. It's burning at his cheeks since Suguru kissed him for the photo but he hopes his best friend deems it on the hot summer weather. 

However, Satoru can't lie to himself. He knows the way he's feeling warmth in the pit of his stomach every time he looks at Suguru isn't a regular way to feel about your best friend. Surely, having sex with him for a few months now also isn't conventional. 

"Satoru," Suguru suddenly starts, when he tries one of the cakes, a blue one, and scrunches his nose in distaste, passing the plate to Satoru. The white haired boy eats the oversugared sweet with delight. "Is this a date?" 

And then the cake almost chokes Satoru on the spot. 

"Dunno. Not really, I guess," Satoru answers, coughing slightly. He wants to avoid Suguru's eyes but his black orbs magnetize him, making him unable to look away. "Do you want it to be?" 

Satoru expects him to shrug his shoulders or shake his head in disapproval, their relationship has  always been about friendship and sex with no romantic strings attached. Suguru is a simple man, Satoru is quite sure his friend sees the way their relationship is changing and tries to clear thing between them. Oh, Satoru thinks, this is going to hurt. 

"Yeah," Suguru breathes out and Satoru looks at him over the rim of his sunglasses with eyes wide open. "I guess, I want it to be." 

"So like, you wanna date for real?" 

"Aren't we already doing it?" Suguru reaches out towards him and swipes his finger over the corner of Satoru's lips. He then takes the finger back to his own mouth and Satoru sees him licking blue cream from it. "Unless you don't want to." 

Satoru almost flips the table, when he tries to straighten up his pose. He truly is a mess. 

"No," he says sternly. "I mean, yes. Um– Just– Let's date. You've upgraded to my best friend slash boyfriend status. That's it." 

Suguru's smile is worth it all. 

When they leave the shop, Suguru walks closer to him and then slips his hand around his hip to finally place it in the back pocket of Satoru's skinny jeans. Satoru winds his arm around Suguru's shoulders and they spend the rest of the evening strolling the streets like that, pressed to each other, until they can't feel their feet anymore. 

Deep into the night, Satoru teleports them back to Jujutsu High, where Yaga easily finds them and gives them the scolding of the year. Not like they care. They stumble into their bedroom, not just Suguru's bedroom anymore, and even though the fatigue Satoru finds strength to push Suguru to the bed to suck him off and finger him, until the black hair creates a halo around Suguru's head and he comes with his hands twisted in white hair. 

Warmth keeps twisting in Satoru's stomach, when he falls asleep in his boyfriend's arms. 

There is no honeymoon faze, no time when they're overly focused on each other. They've been that way since day one, so nothing really changes. They're still best friends and they're still fucking, what is new is the boyfriend label and the way Suguru lets himself be a little bit more clingy, when they're alone. 

Except for that nothing changes between them. They're still the same unstoppable, inseparable, strongest duo in jujutsu world. 

And this world around them begins to change the moment they're assigned the mission of escorting Star Plasma Vessel for Master Tengen. 

It's unfair, Satoru thinks, that a girl like Riko, so young and inexperienced has to give up her whole life so that Master Tengen can have a new body. He knows, logically, how it works and why it is so important to escort Riko to Jujutsu High, though it's still not easy to accept. Bitterness doesn't leave him throughout the whole mission. 

But he fights and Suguru is by his side the whole time, so he fits into his role as the jujutsu sorcerer, the strongest one, the bearer of Six Eyes and the pride of Gojo clan, to finish his job. He's used to it, to be a part of the world he didn't chose for himself, so he tries to quiet down his empathy for the young girl and remember that this is how the jujutsu world works. 

They've fought two curse users, who tried to kill Riko for the bounty and then rescued Kuroi from the kidnappers. The bounty is about to expire soon, so they stay on Okinawa, letting the girl have the last peaceful moments of her life. 

Meanwhile, Satoru keeps on using his cursed technique, checking for any sign of usage of cursed energy. He needs to make sure they're safe, it's his responsibility and he's not going to fail. So he doesn't sleep and pushes Six Eyes as much as he can, drinking lots of oversugared coffee and playing games at night to keep himself awake. 

Suguru tried to talk him out of it, to leave early and go back to Jujutsu High, where they'd be protected by Master Tengen's barrier and Satoru wouldn't have to strain his body. But Riko plays with them on the beach and laughs so loudly, so freely, Satoru can't help himself. He's just going to be exhausted and drained beyond the limit but Six Eyes and Infinity never fail him, Suguru is there, Nanami and Haibara are also guarding the island, so he doesn't have to worry about a sudden attack. If it's the price for giving Riko one more day to be alive, then he's fine with making this sacrifice. 

The constant use of cursed energy amplified by the two sleepless nights is slowly burning him out. He's sitting on the beach but he can't find it in himself to chase after the girl anymore or look for sea cucumbers. She's dipping her toes in the water, while Kuroi holds an umbrella over their heads. Satoru can't make out, what are they talking about but it's not like it matter. What is important is that he keeps looking around to spot any danger and he has Infinity ready to strike any moment. 

But he's getting weak and he can't deny it. 

There's something sweet probing at his lips and at first he barely registers, what it is, only realizing in a second that it's a lollipop. Suguru is sitting beside him on the sand, his shoulder touching Satoru's and he's holding a lollipop for his boyfriend. 

"Thanks," Satoru says and takes the sweet into his mouth. He hopes the sugar will wake his mind up. 

"How are you feeling?" 

Satoru doesn't take his eyes off the silhouettes of the girls but he can hear and smell Suguru lighting up a cigarette beside him. 

"Fresh and focused, the word 'tired' is not in my dictionary," he pushes his sunglasses higher up the bridge of his nose to hide the darkening bags under his eyes. 

"Idiot," Suguru's exhale is heavy as he pushes himself off the ground. There is some shuffling and the next moment Suguru is sitting right behind him with his legs on both sides of Satoru's hips. 

"Suguru."

"Shut up," Suguru sneaks his left hand to Satoru's waist to keep him close, still holding the cigarette with the right hand. "You're not allowed to make excuses." 

"Everyone's going to see," Satoru tries because he's a menace to the society and he can't have Suguru forget about it. "Two strongest sorcerers hugging on a beach, what a sight." 

Satoru whines and pouts but lets himself slowly melt into Suguru's embrace, drinking in the insufferable warmth of his body, the way sweat drips down his chest and onto Satoru's back. He sinks into the smell of cursed energy and cigarettes that always clings to his boyfriend. 

"Don't pretend you don't like it. You're an absolute exhibitionist," Suguru hooks his chin on Satoru's shoulder and blows smoke right into his face. In any other circumstances, Satoru would take it as a bait for a fist fight and some wrestling in the sand but he's too tired for that. For now, he can just suck on his lollipop. 

"I think we finally terminally traumatized Nanami the last time we fucked in the locker room," Riko laughs loudly at something Kuroi told her and Satoru keeps watching them, while he laces his fingers with Suguru's on his stomach. "We should totally do it again."

"He's going to quit being a jujutsu sorcerer because of you," Suguru laughs gently, his chest vibrating behind Satoru's back. 

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that, because then I'd have to torment you and we both know you'd actually get your revenge." 

Suguru stubs out the cigarette in the sand and moves both of this arms to hold Satoru closer. He presses his nose to his neck, then moves to bury his face in the white hair. Satoru can hear him inhale deeply. 

"I would and you'd regret you ever tried to prank me," A kiss is pressed to the nape of Satoru's neck and he involuntary, damn the Six Eyes, sees people around them looking away with disgust. They don't know, what they're missing. "But then I'd probably bring you a lollipop and try to cheer you up. I've grown soft on you." 

Satoru doesn't answer, he just gets comfier in Suguru's embrace and lets the candy in his mouth melt. Riko is safe, they're having a good time and they're going to be back in Jujutsu High before the evening comes. Everything is going to be fine. 

Be soft with me, Suguru, he thinks, not daring to say his thoughts out loud. Be soft with me because nobody else is. 

Fushiguro Toji is a strom that wrecks havoc in their life. In time, Satoru will come to blame this day for most of the misery that will happen to him. 

Riko is dead. The youth taken away from her but not by Master Tengen but by a paid assassin, who almost took Satoru's life too. And it's tragic enough, that the girl is gone and that Satoru had to kill that exceptionally skillful fighter, a son of Zen'in clan, who left him with the knowledge that somewhere out there is a child, who will be sold to the same clan he rejected. 

But it's not enough.

Riko is dead and the applause of the Children of the Star still rings in Satoru's ears. The memory of joy the humans oozed with is maddening. He held Riko's limp body, a young girl, still a child, and they couldn't keep their happiness at bay. 

"Do you want to kill them all?" Satoru asked Suguru, when the applause around them was the loudest. 

They're back in their room, sitting on the bathroom floor, tending to their wounds and bandaging themselves but Satoru still goes back to the offer he laid before Suguru. He was ready to kill them all, just to rip their bodies apart with Infinity and give in to the pain surging in his guts. A step away from madness. But Suguru told him that it wouldn't make a difference, so he let it go. 

Satoru dabs cotton pads in antiseptic and cleans all of Suguru's wounds. His own closed when he realized how to use the revered cursed technique, just leaving him dirty and with few minor cuts and bruises. Nothing serious. 

Suguru's eyes are cast down, his hair falling over his face, hiding him. Satoru is sure he's grieving for Riko and the last rays of hope in the world that shattered just hours ago. The darkness within his orbs is unreadable but Satoru doesn't want to prey. His own soul feels ripped and scattered. 

"Suguru," he calls his name gently to get his boyfriends attention and hooks his fingers under his chin. Satoru just wants to clean the cuts on Suguru's face, his left brow is bloodied and there is a nasty cut on his lower lip. But Suguru doesn't answer, neither does he move his head, so Satoru ducks down to catch his gaze. 

He can't read his expression but what he's sure of is that it's hollow and he hates it. He hates seeing Suguru in pain. Then he realizes his best friend is taking shallow breaths and his body trembles with the slightest movement. Something is wrong. 

"Suguru," he calls again and levels their eyes. It takes some time but finally Suguru's black irises find blue ones and Satoru hears a heavy exhale leave Suguru's mouth. "Talk to me. What's wrong?" 

Suguru bites into his lower lip, still trembling but his eyes focus on the boy in front of him. Satoru has never seen him so shaken, so pained and broken. The madness increases. 

"I just…" Suguru begins but his voice is barely a whisper. "I thought…" 

He doesn't finish, he just pushes the cotton pads, bandages and antiseptics off of Satoru's hands and pulls himself up only to sit in the white haired boy's lap. Satoru never though of him as small, even though he's just a few centimeters taller, but Suguru is broad and thick, built with wide shoulders and big hands. Out of the two of them, Satoru is the slimmer, skinnier one, who fits perfectly into Suguru's huge embrace. 

But it's different now. Suguru has his face pressed to Satoru's shoulder, arms around his chest clinging onto him as if his life depended on it. He's not small but he's trying to hide there, in his boyfriends embrace. 

Satoru hears a muffled sob.

"I thought I lost you," he confesses, still holding Satoru in an almost painful hug. "Toji said he killed you and I… I thought you were dead. I was so scared, Satoru." 

It makes sense now. The pain, the dark look in Suguru's eyes, the trembling of his hands. Satoru has never seen him cry but he realizes he doesn't need to to know Suguru is hurting. This, having broken Suguru in his lap, is enough. 

"I'm here, Suguru."

"I know," Suguru pulls himself up to look Satoru in the eyes, his hair tangled and eyes darker than usual. "I know, baby, but for a moment when I fought him it was only pain, ripping me raw from the inside. I– I thought you were gone." 

Satoru takes one of Suguru's hands away from his back and places it over his own chest, right where his heart beats rhythmically under the skin. 

"I'm alive, right here with you, and with the reversed cursed technique I don't think there is anything you have to worry about in the future. I'll be safe." 

Suguru's fingers dig into his chest and Satoru is a breath away from making a joke about his tits but Suguru presses his lips to his forehead, slipping warmth into his body, and Satoru can't find his voice. Long dark hair tickles Satoru's cheeks as he speaks. 

"I can't stand the thought of a world without you, Satoru. My Satoru." 

And then Suguru is slipping from his fingers. 

Days pass, they turn into weeks, then into months, and before Satoru realizes it's already winter. The frost bites at his cheeks and fingers on every mission, the sun barely peaks out from behind the thick clouds and the days are so short, he feels like the night never ends. 

At first, he deems Suguru's behavior at the season of the year. It's melancholic and tiring, so Suguru's apathy can be easily explained. But when Satoru looks at him closely, sees the way he's almost constantly caught up in his thoughts, he knows winter is not the reason. 

From the day Riko died, Suguru barely laughs or gives in to the carefree side of his nature. He's unusually calm, only seemingly having fun when Satoru comes up with plans for dates and they pretend the jujutsu world doesn't exist. His black eyes turn even darker and he smokes more and more often, sometimes not even bothering to leave their room. 

The smell of cigarette smoke starts clinging to Satoru's skin too. 

Ever since he has activated the reversed cursed technique and realized how to use Purple, people have started calling him the strongest. Just him, without Suguru. His boyfriend doesn't seem to mind, not really caring about titles, but Satoru is furious whenever he hears those comments, because it's the strongest duo. Not solo. 

Suguru is his other half, the better side of him, the one who takes his hand and welcomes the trouble Satoru inflicted upon himself. They're inseparable, two particles destined to be always magnetized to each other. Satoru knows that even if they never crossed the line of just being best friends, even if they never fucked, if they never fell in love, they'd still be the same. Satoru and Suguru, the strongest duo the world has ever seen. 

And it's this world that will tear them apart. 

There is a meeting with the Kyoto school, Satoru doesn't even bother remembering why do they have to sit with the students of the other school in the same room. It's boring, so he doesn't listen. But Utahime is also there and Suguru has been feeling especially low since morning, so Satoru uses all the opportunities he has to prank her or send mean insults her way. It makes Suguru smile, even chuckle at times, so he takes it as a win. 

One of the students from the Kyoto school keeps looking their way, Satoru wouldn't miss it even if he wants to. Six Eyes don't give him a break. 

"Excuse me but can we open the windows? I can't stand the smell in here," the boy suddenly says and Satoru feels cold sweat running down his back. Nobody moves. "What is it anyway? Are you keeping curses here or what?" 

It's Suguru. In order to manipulate curses he need to eat them first and as an aftermath, part of the smell keeps lingering around him. Getou Suguru isn't an unknown sorcerer anymore, so people don't make comments like that. They know how his technique works and what is the cost of it. 

But this guy is purposefully pushing the line. 

Satoru looks at Suguru, he keeps his face stoic but the look in his eyes harden. Satoru spend the last hours trying to cheer him up and now all his efforts are ruined. Blood starts boiling in his veins. 

"You can leave, if you have a problem," Satoru states and pushes his sunglasses off the bridge of his nose to look at the boy directly with Six Eyes. 

"It's not you, Gojo-san," he answers with fake politeness. "But the smell also lingers on you. I would never get close to anyone, who smells like that. It's disgusting," He makes a face and directs his last words straight at Suguru. 

"Watch your words," Satoru warns and hits the surface of the table they're sitting at with his fist. 

"Let it go, Satoru," Suguru tries to intervene and calm him down but Satoru can't let that stupid guy make anymore comments about Suguru. 

"Take back, what you said," Satoru presses because he's angry and his natural stubbornness won't let him live this one. "Take it back now." 

"Or what? You're gonna cry to your stinky boyfriend?" 

There is a moment of silence, where nobody dares to move or even breathe. Even Yaga and Yoshinobu stay silent. Maybe it's a test, maybe they agree with the asshole from Kyoto. Satoru doesn't care. No one can insult Suguru. 

"Oh, so it's true. The strongest jujutsu sorcerer is a fucking faggot and he probably takes it in the–"

He doesn't finish. Satoru gives in to the boiling in his veins and Infinity surges from his body in a wave. The windows shatter, letting the winter air inside. Satoru hits the table one more time and the wood gives in, breaking in two. 

"You'll regret it." 

Satoru stands up and kicks half of the table to the wall of the building, leaving a huge hole there. He takes slow steps towards the boy, whose smug smile is finally replaced with a look of fear. That's right, Satoru thinks, fear looks good on you. 

"Stop it, Satoru," There's wind around them and the raw rage rings in his ears so loudly he barely hears Suguru's voice. All he wants to do is grab at the asshole and hollow Purple right through him. "Enough." 

Suddenly, there are black eyes before him wide open with determination. Suguru shields the boy and tries to grab at Satoru's shoulders but Infinity is protecting his body. When Satoru lets go of it and calls Infinity back, he looks around the room seeing everyone, both students and teachers backing away from him in fear. Only Suguru holds him, not an ounce of dread inside his body. 

Suguru grabs at his arm and pulls him out of the room, out of the building and towards the training field, where the possibility of Satoru destroying something is slimmer. 

"Motherfucker!" Satoru's scream echoes throughout the field powered with the remnants of cursed energy he couldn't keep inside, which makes the ground beneath them shake slightly. "I should go back there to teach him a fucking lesson." 

"It wouldn't change a thing," Suguru tries to reason, his voice calm but also dejected. 

"Yeah, I know but it would make me feel better." 

Satoru says with eyes still trained on the hole in the school's building that he just made. He should have destroyed the whole place to make a point that nobody should ever dare insult his boyfriend.  When the biggest wave of rage subsides, he takes a step closer to Suguru to grab his hand and anchor himself but the black haired boy twists his hand away and hides it in the pocket of his jacket. 

"What the fuck, Suguru?"

"It's becoming a burden. They might still see us," If words had the ability to cause physical wounds, then Suguru's words would pierce right through Satoru's ribcage. Not because Suguru was talking nonsense but because he was faulting himself. "We should have been more careful." 

"Stop," Satoru tries and realizes how their roles have suddenly changed. Now it was him trying to calm Suguru down. "Give me your hand and shut the fuck up." 

Suguru looks at his outstretched hand and shakes his head. 

"I forgot that everyone in this world looks up to you, that they have expectations from the bearer of Six Eyes and I am not one of them." 

Deep inside, Satoru knows it's Suguru's bad mood talking through him but the way he degrades himself breaks Satoru's heart. He's got enough, enough of the shit at school and enough of listening to insults addressed at his boyfriend, even when he says them himself. He grabs Suguru's arm and latches onto it, pressing it close to his chest. 

"You say one more word and we're not fucking for a week," Suguru looks taken aback but after a second the bafflement is replaced with fondness and he leans forward to press his forehead to Satoru's. 

"I don't want you to sink with me," he says softly and leaves a gentle kiss on Satoru's cheek. "You're Gojo Satoru after all." 

"God damn it, don't listen to the asshole from Kyoto!" Satoru shakes him by the arm he's still tightly clutching onto. "Out of the two of us, I am the stupid one, not you." His words bring a small smile to Suguru's lips and Satoru hopes he still has a chance to lighten up Suguru's mood. 

"Sorry." 

"You're not a burden, never will be. I should have punched that guy, make him fear the power of gays," And that finally pulls a chuckle from Suguru. Satoru mentally pats his own back. "Maybe he's jealous that I'm dating the second sexiest man alive." 

"Second?" Suguru asks and pulls the white haired boy to start walking. Maybe a stroll will calm their nerves. 

"Yeah, because you're dating the first," There's mischief in his blue eyes, when he speaks but it must be contagious as a flicker of light passes through Suguru's black orbs.

"Oh right, lucky me." 

They walk more, leaving the grounds of Jujutsu High and to the streets of Tokyo, where they're not jujutsu sorcerers. Just two high school boys in love. 

"And by the way, you don't smell, in case that's still on your mind." 

Satoru has always found Suguru's smell quite odd but not unpleasant. Sure, there is an intense fragrance of cured energy that constantly clings to his body because of the way he has to consume curses to manipulate them. But there's so much more to it than that. The cigarette smoke, orange hair shampoo, musky cologne. The mixture of it all creates the smell of Getou Suguru and Satoru wouldn't have him any other way. 

"Can we not talk about it?" Suguru bumps their shoulders and his voice is still laced with tiredness and gloom, but Satoru can see a small smile on his lips, so he tries not to worry. 

"You are aware I'm the worst at not talking?" 

"Yeah but I'm prepared," Suguru reaches into his pocket and takes out a package of cigarettes and a strawberry lollipop. "Here's a pacifier for my baby." 

Satoru knows his cheeks dust with pink but he tries not to focus on it. He takes the sweet from his boyfriend's fingers, unpackages it and lets the candy melt on his tongue. The strawberry and cherry lollipops always leave him with tinted tongue and lips, which later on lead to Suguru kissing the shit out of him and Satoru wonders, whether the other boy buys them on purpose. Satoru hopes today is the same, that they're going to find a secluded alley, where Suguru would wrap his arms around him and kiss him until the sweetness in his mouth is replaced with the bitterness of cigarettes. 

And that the same thing happens tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the next day, and next, and next. 

In the middle of December Suguru goes to Yaga and declares that on Christmas their teacher can go exorcise curses on his own, because he's taking Satoru on a date and fuck responsibilities. Satoru tries to keep him away from it, to point out that they can just go without all the fuss but to no avail. When Suguru decided they're going to have a day out with no one to disturb them, there was no stopping him. 

So on Christmas Eve they go on a date. 

No matter the embarrassment Satoru feels every time he looks at Yaga, he is eager and bubbly the moment Suguru takes his hand and pulls him away from Jujutsu High, leaving Gojo, Getou and all of their obligations behind. Satoru and Suguru are going to have fun. 

They go to the cinema, then play in the arcades. Eat udon, then tempura, sushi, takoyaki and try cakes in two different cafes. Late into the night, they're so full they can barely walk but going back to school is the last thing on their minds. They stroll the city hand in hand, watching Christmas decorations around the city and throwing snow at each other like little kids, they partially still are. Or at least they should be but the world of jujutsu sorcerers isn't kind to children. 

Suguru is in extraordinarily good mood and Satoru can't help hoping it's a breakthrough from the months his boyfriend spend drowning in gloom and apathy. His warm fingers hold Satoru's hand and tuck their intertwined hands inside the pocket of his coat. Maybe he doesn't laugh as earnestly as he used to, and maybe his eyes are dark, not reflecting Satoru's ocean blue irises, but his lips are constantly smiling and the way he holds Satoru is a little bit tighter and firmer, not scared or ashamed to show that they're together. 

Satoru basks in the warm feeling Suguru's presence spreads through his whole body. 

When Suguru pulls him behind one of the many Christmas trees decorating the streets of Tokyo, wraps his arms around his waist and breathes against his lips, Satoru knows he's in love. 

"The time is never really right for it," Suguru starts, snowflakes catching onto his black hair that flows down his shoulders. "But I wanted to thank you."

"Oh no, you're going to be cheesy again," Satoru wines and rolls his eyes but doesn't make a move to step away from the warm embrace. "What is it with you lately?" 

Suguru doesn't comment on it, just keeps looking at Satoru with fond eyes and a gentle smile on his lips. With his fingers he tucks Satoru's white hair behind his ear. 

"Thank you for letting me have this. Us, I mean," he kisses the tip of Satoru's nose and lets their foreheads touch. "You make this burden of being a jujutsu sorcerer a bit more bearable." 

"Stop being so embarrassing," Satoru closes his eyes but it doesn't change a thing, when Six Eyes don't give him a break. 

"But it's true," Suguru pulls him by the waist even closer, their coats squished between their bodies. "And I'm sorry we can't be more open about our relationship. I guess, what we have is already a lot." 

Satoru hums in agreement because Suguru is right. When he first let Suguru fuck him, it was out of teenage frustration and his inner need for excitement. And maybe he always considered Suguru hot, so it was an all-win situation. When they started officially dating, it felt like tasting something they were never supposed to have. The path of jujutsu sorcerers is a lonely one. But they worked and still do, so Satoru is ready to cherish whatever he can have. 

"I don't mind having a secret, if it's with you. Even if we have to lie to the whole world, or at least the part of it that still doesn't know you're my one and only," Satoru leans in and lets their lips graze each other. "Till death do us part?"

Suguru pulls him in for a kiss that tastes like noodles and raw fish, cursed energy and love confessions, cherry lollipops and cigarettes. He kisses him with warmth and passion, all the years they spend apart, not knowing there was a lonely soul out there just waiting. 

"Till death do us part." 

By the time they start the third year, Satoru's hope for a better change is already shattered. 

Physically Suguru is close, the furnace of his body always warming Satoru, be it by embracing him or just holding his hand. Whenever they're in their bedroom, where no one can see and judge them, Suguru latches onto him drinking from his body, as if i were a starved man. When he fucks Satoru into the bedsheets, ha makes sure to worship every inch of his body, to leave hickeys in the most intimate places and then hold him in his arms until the next morning comes. 

But his mind is locked, thoughts unreachable even to Satoru, who used to pride himself in knowing Suguru better than he knows himself. Right now he knows things are going downhill and the darkness in Suguru's eyes is something he should be terrified of but he doesn't know, what to do instead of staying by his side and trying to coax small answers out of him.

Usually, Suguru changes the topic by going out for a smoke or kissing Satoru to shut him up. The white haired boy is used to it by now, the dread and disappointment now living inside his heart 24/7. He worries that every time he tires to hold onto Suguru a little bit tighter, the man will just keep on slipping away from him. 

Then one day Suguru talks, just a little bit and makes Satoru feel, as if a curse settled down in the pit of his stomach. 

Suguru is napping in their small bed, when Satoru finds him after additional hour of training. He's in need of a shower, his clothes sweaty and smelly but Suguru's back seems to be calling to him and before Satoru realizes, he's laying behind him, pulling his boyfriend towards his chest. 

"A piece of your mind?" Satoru asks and presses a kiss right behind Suguru's ear. A year ago Suguru would kick him out of bed, if he entered it this dirty, but right now his boyfriend covers the hands circling his waist with his own and settles into Satoru's embrace. 

Satoru wants to scream and shout, shake him by the shoulders and maybe punch him in his stupidly handsome face, because Suguru is not acting like himself. 

"I was thinking," Suguru starts and Satoru doesn't expect him to keep going. They've been at this point for some time now. "Calculating even." 

"About what?" he tries because it might be the only chance he ever gets to hear Suguru out with the way he shuts himself out. 

"The world. Curses manifest from humans because they can't control their cursed energy, so if everyone in the world could control it, there would be no curses."

Satoru hums, because it's true and the thought also comes to him from time to time. 

"If all humans were dead, there would be no curses," Suguru states and Satoru feels his stomach twisting. "If there were no curses, the jujutsu sorcerers wouldn't have to endanger themselves, wouldn't have to fight," His voice is calm and steady, which only fuels Satoru's dread. "And you wouldn't have to be Gojo Satoru, bound by responsibilities and expectations." 

It is one thing to imagine, what Suguru is so caught up in, but it's a whole different story to hear it directly from him and realize his vision still puts Satoru in the middle of his concerns. He hugs Suguru tighter and hides his face in his hair, in the smell of orange shampoo, trying to keep himself from breaking apart.

"It's a utopia, Suguru," he mumbles, hoping Suguru admits it. 

But Suguru stays silent and after a few minutes Satoru realizes their conversation is over. His boyfriend and best friend, the one and only, who loves him like nobody ever did, fades away from his vision replaced by emptiness. Six Eyes don't have the power to foresee future but Satoru knows, he just knows, whatever he had with Suguru is coming to an end. There will be no happy ending, their vows will be forever burned inside his heart but this – whatever they built in the last two and half a year will be lost. 

His fingers bury in Suguru's shirt, trying to ground his mind and realize that Suguru is right there, in his arms and that he's not going anywhere. That they're going to be Suguru and Satoru forever and nothing will break them apart. 

But it's futile. 

"You're my everything," Satoru tells him, when all he wants to do is scream for him not to leave, to stay by his side and let them bask in their love until death finds them. 

"Oh Satoru, my Satoru." 

A month later Getou Suguru leaves Jujutsu High and is declared traitor. 

Satoru can't find it in himself to stop him because to some extent he knows Suguru is right. The world needs a change. Even if he doesn't approve of Suguru's method, of him going to the extent of even killing his own parents and taking upon himself the burden of being the mass murderer, Satoru knows Suguru wouldn't be able to live free of guilt after what happened with the Star Plasma Vessel mission. 

Back at Jujutsu High Satoru lays in their bed, now too wide and spacious, the coldness of the sheets not easing his numb heart. He curls in on himself, smelling the pillow until it still carries Suguru's comforting scent. 

While he tosses and turns, he belatedly realizes there is some rustling coming from beside him. He reaches out, finding a black plastic bag from a convenience store and when he opens it, it's filled with lollipops. Strawberry and cherry flavor only. Satoru takes out one of the candies and puts it in his mouth, pretending there are no tears flowing down his cheeks. 

After Suguru has left, going back to regular routine of a jujutsu sorcerer turns out to be one of the easiest and at the same time the most difficult tasks. It's easy because the higher ups seem to forget he was ever the part of Jujutsu High and every time they mentions his name, it's with strict formality. Yaga doesn't expect any of his students to go follow him and hardly ever mentions Suguru's name. He must be affected himself, as Suguru surely was one of his most promising students of all time. Only Shoko and Gojo keep going back to their memories with Suguru or sometimes they wonder over morning coffee, if Suguru is drinking one too at the moment. 

At the same time it's extremely difficult because Gojo feels as if there was a hole burned out right inside his chest. After a month he gathers all his things and moves back to the bedroom he occupied in the first year, though he can't find it in himself to throw away Suguru's things. He packs them neatly into cardboards and puts them in the corner of his room, leaving only a black sweatshirt belonging to Suguru, so that he can put it on, when the hole in his chest aches the most. The cold sheets of his bed taunt him ever night and the bag of lollipops Suguru has left him is emptied sooner than Gojo expected. 

Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest? 

Back then, on the last day Gojo has seen him, he wanted to say that it doesn't matter that much, because what's really important to him is that he can be Satoru, just Satoru, beside Suguru and only being Satoru leaves him feeling light and in the right place. It's something Gojo can't change anymore. 

Weeks go by, then months and before Gojo realizes he's graduating but there is no reason to celebrate. Suguru is gone, Haibara is dead and Nanami dropped out of school. Shoko goes with him to grab ramen but they barely talk over the food. Their high school years come to an end, leaving bitter aftertaste. 

Gojo keeps going on missions, mindlessly exorcising curses and just taking orders upon himself, because if he doesn't then the prospect of looking for Suguru would haunt him more than it usually does. He misses his best friend in a way he never missed anyone. 

When summer comes, two years apart from the day Fushiguro Toji attack Jujutsu High, Gojo remembers his last words – that his son is about to be sold to the Zen'in Clan. He's not sure, what prompts him to look for the boy or why he decides to takes care of him, but he just can't stand the thought of another child being torn apart by the jujutsu society. 

Fushiguro Megumi is a blessing, just like his name indicates, though Gojo will only realize it in time. He's a fierce first grader with Toji's black hair and scowling eyes that pierce through Gojo the first time they meet. The way he talks back and treats Gojo as the lowest life of all makes the white haired man rethink his decisions. He wanted to help a kid, not keep being degraded by him in all possible ways. 

It turns out Megumi's attitude is a defence mechanism. He takes on Gojo's offer to be under his protection and train as a jujutsu sorcerer to avoid being sold to the Zen'ins on the condition that Gojo also takes care of Tsumiki, Megumi's step sister. So in the nineteenth year of his life Gojo buys an apartment near Jujutsu High and moves there with two kids. 

A month later Gojo is going back from a mission, when he smells Suguru's scent. He stops in his track and lets the familiar sensation envelope his senses. He knows he should keep going, to go back to the kids, bring them dinner and maybe spend the evening watching movies with them or playing video games. But Six Eyes show him images even when he doesn't want to see them and make him realize Suguru is closer than he expected him to be. 

Against all reasoning, his feet drag him to the person he ever held close to his heart. 

Seeing Suguru after a year feels like resurfacing from under the water. The hole in Satoru's chest feels a tiny bit smaller. 

His hair is longer, the black of his irises darker than it used to be and his clothes carry the smell of death but Satoru can't refrain from coming closer. They don't speak, just stare at each other until Suguru reaches out and carefully pulls Satoru's glasses off his face. Ocean blue meets dark abyss and it feels like coming home. 

"Are you here to kill me?" Suguru finally asks, letting his fingers dance on the expanse of Satoru's face. 

"Never," Satoru places his hands on Suguru's chest out of habit, feeling the warmth of his body seep into his palms. "Are you in hurry? I'm not followed." 

Suguru looks at him dismissively and shakes his head slightly, though a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. 

"Don't tempt me, Satoru," he says and leans closer, his lips barely apart from Satoru's. They breathe in the same air filled with tension of months spent apart, cold and yearning to be back together. "You'll be in trouble." 

As always, Suguru is the more reasonable one out of them. Satoru should pull away, maybe give Suguru a chaste kiss and go back to his new life, where he's alone with only memories of his boyfriend. If the higher ups ever know about his meeting with the most wanted traitor, they'd exile him. Megumi and Tsumiki would also be in trouble. The red alarm goes on inside his head. 

But Gojo Satoru, the strongest jujutsu sorcerer of the generation, do have one weakness and its name is Getou Suguru. 

"There is a hotel around the corner," he presses his chest and hips to Suguru's body, looking at the way desire clouds his dark eyes. "Fuck me there, Suguru." 

They can't have love anymore, not like they used to, but it doesn't mean there is no way Satoru can't have Suguru close to him again. If they pretend hard enough that it's only about their bodies and pleasure, then maybe they could keep each other in their lives. 

It turns out Suguru must be starving too, because the reluctance leaves him immediately and he lets Satoru teleport them to the hotel. The door to the room shuts with a loud thud as Satoru presses Suguru against the wooden surface to kiss him. It's intoxicating, the taste of cigarettes mixed with cursed energy makes him tremble with longing he was keeping locked deep inside for the past months. 

They undress in record time, grace and good impressions forgotten, when all they can think about is the need to have each other close again. Where they should be. Suguru pushes him to the bed and presses his lips to Satoru's skin, as if it was the source of his life. He kisses his neck, licks over his pecks and nipples, then proceeds to leave bites all over his abdomen and inner thighs. 

In their haste they never though about lube or condoms and where Satoru expects Suguru to just fuck him raw, which would be in his character as the wanted criminal, Suguru turns him around and props his hips on soft pillows to eat him out and finger his hole until he's loose enough. 

Satoru hopes the pillow soaks his tears of pleasure. 

The worst part is that when they face each other again and Suguru finally enters him, it feels like nothing has ever changed. Their rhythm is fast but synchronized and every time Suguru thrusts, Satoru moves his hips, so that they meet halfway. The slide isn't the most comfortable but when Suguru cums for the first time, it gets easier. 

Satoru isn't sure how many time they reach climaxes but by the time they finally lay down, spent and sated, Satoru's ass is dripping with cum and Suguru's long hair is wet with sweat. They catch their breaths with legs still tangled and Suguru's head resting on Satoru's chest. Time passes, behind the window the sun is setting and the reality of their lives comes back at them. 

Suguru pushes off the bed and looks for him pants discard somewhere on the floor. When he starts pulling the shirt over his head, Satoru can't take it anymore. 

"I'm taking care of Fushiguro Toji's son," he blurts out, because it's the only thing that comes to his mind that might slow down their inevitable goodbye. He's rights. Suguru looks at him with eyes wide open and goes back to sit by his side on the bed. "Megumi. His name is Megumi and he has a step sister, Tsumiki, so I took both of them in." 

In the dim light Suguru's eyes soften and Satoru tries not to think about the fact that Suguru killed his own parents in the name of his believes. 

"I'm sure they're having lots of fun with you," Suguru says softly and tucks Satoru's white hair behind his ear. "I found two kids too. They're sorcerers, twin girls, who were harassed in a small village. I couldn't leave them alone." 

Satoru looks into the darkness of Suguru's eyes and feels the wound in his chest opening up again. Even when they're apart, their paths don't stray too far from each other. Fate pushes them apart, when the right thing would be to stay close to each other. 

"It's scary, isn't it? Parenting, I mean," Satoru asks and lets Suguru lean over him to kiss him one more time. 

"It is but you're going to do just fine. Be yourself and they'll love you." 

After that Suguru finishes dressing up and in no time he's out of the door, out of the hotel room, out of Satoru's life. Again. The hole in Gojo's chest bleeds with doubled force. 

On his way home, he buys hot udon, fresh mochi and soda to make up to Megumi and Tsumiki for the time he was gone. He's not sure Suguru is right in thinking that the kids will love him, if he shows them his true self. He worries only Suguru will ever be able to hold feelings for him. 

It turns out meeting with Suguru in secret once leaves them both vulnerable to another meeting. And another and another. Sometimes they meet once a month, sometimes they keep seeing each other three days in a row. They never go to Satoru's or Suguru's place, always sticking to hotels or rented apartments. 

Usually they don't makes plans to meet, because that would require of Satoru to have Suguru's new phone number or know, where he lives but Suguru never told him. Satoru understands, it's not worth the risk. They can still sense each others cursed energy from miles away and with Six Eyes Satoru has learned to trace even the smallest evidence of Suguru's presence. 

The amount of sex they have is disproportional to the times they talk but it's still better than not having Suguru in his life at all. 

Yaga never comments on the fact that he can smell Suguru off of Gojo's body, unlike Shoko who keeps on asking how Suguru is doing and telling him to pass greetings from her. Every time he comes back home late with messy hair and disheveled clothes, Tsumiki asks him, how his date was and precedes to snicker under her nose. Megumi is the only one, who openly shows his dissatisfaction and scowls at Gojo unless he brings him sweets or food from nearby restaurants. He keeps saying Gojo smells funny and needs a shower because he's a stinky old man but Gojo can take it. 

Sometimes he brings home small gifts, plush animals for Megumi and books or dresses for Tsumiki, and the kids seems to genuinely love them. He keeps it a secret that they're from Suguru. 

Gojo is 20, when Megumi comes running at him with a piece of paper in his small hand. Up till now he was playing hide and seek with Tsumiki, hiding in the wardrobe, when he suddenly stumbled out of it and came up to Gojo. He lifts up the object, a photograph, and looks straight into Gojo's blue eyes. 

"Why don't you ever smile like that?" 

It's a picture Satoru took with Suguru on their date in Yokohama's Sea Paradise, the one where Suguru kissed his cheek, which made him laugh out loud. The picture serves as a reminder of lost time, of a life he can never go back to, of love he can't keep close anymore. His throat closes up and he needs to tear away his eyes from the kid to make sure Megumi doesn't notice the tears gathering in his eyes. 

The way he misses Suguru is on a whole different level. They saw each other three weeks ago but Suguru barely talked and left the hotel room as soon as they were finished. The next day Gojo heard the higher ups ordering a group of older sorcerers to go on a hunt for Getou Suguru. And there was nothing Gojo could do. He can have glimpses of Suguru in bed, under him or on top of him and forever engraved in his heart but never by his side. 

"I'm sorry," Megumi whispers and grabs his hand. "Should we make hot chocolate?" 

It's the first time the kid doesn't treat him with his ever present angry tone and Gojo can only nod, when Megumi pulls him towards the kitchen. 

Through the next years Gojo's life becomes quite stable. He makes sure Tsumiki and Megumi are on time to school and helps them with their homework in the evenings. He goes on missions, gets rid of curses and makes sure his power is known all over the world, which quickly makes him one of the most influential sorcerers in the society. Nobody is happy about it but at least it keeps the kids safe and away from the Zen'ins. Occasionally he tries going to clubs or bars to find someone, who'd sweep him off his feet but all the people he meets turn out dull and boring.

So whenever he notices Suguru's cursed energy, he dives straight into his arms.  

Nobody fucks him like Suguru does and nobody makes him feel so light and powerful like him. Only Suguru knows how to press his buttons, how to make him cry out in pleasure and kiss his temples to sooth any emotional discomfort that Satoru finds himself in. Suguru truly is his one and only. 

But their secret carries a weight bound to break them one day. 

It happens in spring, when they're both 24 years old, five years after Suguru has left Jujutsu High and has been declared traitor. 

They're in an apartment Satoru rented on the outskirts of Tokyo, the exact opposite side of the city than Jujutsu High is located. Satoru lays with his head pillowed on Suguru's chest, listening to the beating of his heart and occasionally sucking on his left nipple to rile him up. They've been in this bed for the hours, which left them both oversensitive but sometimes Satoru just can't help himself. He giggles every time Suguru hisses and tries to push his face away. 

"That's enough, Satoru," Suguru says, when Satoru licks his pecks one more time. The dark haired man pushes him to the mattress by the shoulders and then hovers over him, long strands of hair shielding Satoru away from the world. "I gotta go," he finally adds and Satoru instantly winds his arms around his neck to keep him close. 

"Don't, please, don't go yet," He's about to pout but when he sees Suguru's serious face, dread twists in the pit of his stomach. "For real, stay. We can order food and you still haven't told me, how Mimiko and Nanako are doing. Just a moment longer."

Suguru sits up, pulling Satoru with him, so that the white haired man sits in his lap. He leans forward and leaves a kiss on the apple of Satoru's cheek, making the skin tint with pink. His hands roam the expanse of Satoru's back, fingers digging into tight muscles but it hardly helps, when Satoru can already feel Suguru locking his heart away. 

"We can't, Satoru."

"But– Listen to me," Satoru makes them look into each other's eyes, blue trying to mix with black but to no avail. "I love you." 

It's not the best of Satoru's arguments but he can't find it in himself to care anymore. He's scared and desperate because Suguru always leaves too quickly, too early for Satoru's heart to be sated. 

"I know," Suguru says softly and hugs Satoru to his chest. "I know and I love you too." 

It's different from the usual. Whenever Satoru asks him to stay longer, Suguru just shrugs him off, gets dressed and leaves after giving him the last kiss. Today is different. The way he holds Satoru, close and tight, with a slight, barely visible tremble in his hands and his heart beating loudly, Satoru knows something isn't right. The dread in his stomach builds up. 

"Don't go," he asks one more time. 

"Think about Megumi. If you're ever caught with me, they'd declare you traitor too and then the Zen'ins would take Megumi in and we both know that'd be the worst." 

Satoru hates it when Suguru makes so much sense, when he always finds an argument that Satoru can't beat. He shakes his head lightly and takes Suguru's face into his hands, hoping to at least keep his lover close for a few minutes longer. 

"I have to take responsibility for my actions," Suguru continues. "And you're one of them." 

"Please, stop," Satoru feels Suguru's hands come to a stop at his waist and shake there. His voice doesn't betray it but he's as affected as Satoru himself. The prospect of them being apart pains them both equally. 

"After the last time we met, I bumped into a sorcerer and it was a damn miracle he didn't realize it was your cursed energy on my body. It's become too dangerous, I won't let you sink with me."

For the first time in his whole life Gojo Satoru doesn't know what to say. He's trapped between his deepest desire and responsibility that affects not only him but also the kids. He's been happy with what he had for the past years but it was bound to break sooner or later. 

Dejected, he detangles himself from Suguru's embrace and lets him leave the bed. Suguru dresses up, all of his monk attire hiding away the evidence that he could ever feel, could ever love. The bite marks, the hickeys, the marks Satoru clawed on his back, it's all perfectly hidden, locked away. Nobody can know that Getou Suguru, the most dangerous of curse users, has a weakness and its name is Gojo Satoru. 

At the door Suguru stops. He turns back towards Satoru and reaches inside his pocket. His eyes are clouded but there is the tiniest of smiles on his lips. He throws an object at Satoru and the sorcerer easily catches it. 

"I always carry one, you know? I think I'm gonna do until the day I die." 

He looks as if there is more he wants to say but he refrains from it. Their eyes lock for the last time and then Suguru turns away and he's out. Gojo can't find strength in himself to look after him any longer. He lays down in the sweaty sheets and closes his eyes, trying to focus on Suguru's scent that always brings him back the feeling of home. 

In his hand he holds a lollipop. 

Life goes on. Gojo takes on more missions and claims his position as the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. Whenever he has time, he teaches Megumi, how to use cursed objects and control his shikigami. Megumi isn't the biggest fan of their trainings, he generally isn't happy about the prospect of taking up the role of jujutsu sorcerer, but Gojo sees the potential in him. One day Fushiguro Megumi will be one of the strongest sorcerers. 

From time to time, Shoko still tries to ask him about Suguru, if Gojo knows where he is and how he's doing, but he always cuts her off. Gojo doesn't even want to know anymore, it would only cause him more pain. Whenever he hears Suguru's name, he eavesdrops only to know if his best friend is still alive. Until then nothing really matters. 

On an unexpected early autumn morning, Gojo gets a call from Nanami. He wants to come back. The first time they meet after years of radio silence Gojo can't stop pestering him about his looks, the suit and his neatly styled hair. It's all so Nanami, so characteristic for him. Gojo can't help laughing. 

He doesn't say it out loud but he's happy that Nanami moved on from Haibara's death. 

Gojo starts teaching at Jujutsu High the same year Megumi enters middle school and it's hell trying to connect his responsibilities as a sorcerer and as a parent. He has more work than he used to and Megumi doesn't make it easier for him, when he rebels, skips classes and beats other students at schools. He badmouths Gojo more times than he doesn't and Gojo can't help seeing Toji in him. The Zen'in genes are strong. 

But he's handling it, somehow being able to tame the chaos in his life.

Until Tsumiki goes into come and the ground underneath his feet becomes unstable again. When Megumi refuses to leave his sisters side, not wanting to go to school or home, when he shouts at Gojo or stops talking to him at all, that's when he misses Suguru the most. Because he's helpless without him.

Until death do us part. 

The words of their promise ring in Satoru's ears, when he finds Suguru in Jujutsu High after his fight with Okkotsu Yuta. His right arm is missing and blood seeps onto his white shirt, the crimson quickly taking over most of the material. Satoru can hardly breathe, when he crouches on the ground next to Suguru. 

"You're late," Suguru points out, his voice pained but there is a smile spreading on his lips. 

Suguru talks and Satoru knows he's answering him automatically but the deafening white noise in his ears keeps getting louder. With every word Suguru's shirt soaks more and soon there is also blood slipping down the corners of his mouth. Satoru unconsciously wipes his lips with the back of his hand. 

"Suguru, if I go find Shoko– " 

"She's not here," Suguru's skin pales and contrasts with the darkness of his long hair. "You can't help me, the higher ups would know but don't worry," He motions for Satoru to come close and the white haired man does, pressing their foreheads together and breathing in Suguru's scent. He needs to memorize it, to carve it into his senses so that he never, never ever, forgets. "Our secret dies with me." 

"Suguru, I lo– "

Satoru doesn't finish because Suguru pulls him by his jacket and smashes their lips together. Their kiss is slow and it tastes too much of blood and cursed energy but Satoru hopes it could last forever. They were supposed to be forever, two strongest sorcerers, best friends, lovers, bound together by feelings stronger than fate. 

"Here, take it," Suguru says after they break the kiss. He's getting weaker second by second and Satoru's heart clenches in pain so profound, he finds it difficult to breathe. Still he takes the objects from Suguru's hand – Yuta's student ID and a cherry lollipop. 

The inevitable is about to come and Satoru shouldn't be this affected. They haven't seen each other in three years, it was supposed to be enough to move on, to accept that whatever they had has come to an end. Seeing as life slips away from Suguru's eyes, Satoru realizes he would never be ready for death to take away his love. He takes Suguru's face into both of his palm and feels coldness under his fingers. The human furnace of Suguru's body is dying out. 

"I'm here, it's okay." 

It's not. Nothing is right, when Suguru was supposed to stay by his side until… until death parts them. But it's too early, too sudden. Satoru is not ready to let him go. 

"Go before they see you with me, Satoru. My Satoru." 

When Gojo comes back to check up on his students, he makes sure to tie the bandage around his head and hide the tears catching onto his white lashes. 

With Suguru, Satoru dies too. Only Gojo is left alive. 

A week later Gojo breaks down. The finality of Suguru's death comes to him after the initial shock and the first few days of rejecting the truth. But he can't lie to himself any longer. Suguru is gone and he's never coming back.

Megumi finds him sitting under the stream of cold shower with his clothes on and only the bandage laying discarded on the bathroom floor. The teenager pulls him out, dries him and makes him change his clothes. Gojo barely remembers, how it happened but after some time, minutes or hours he's not sure, he's sitting by the table in the kitchen and Megumi is preparing tea for him. 

The hot beverage does little to help sooth the hole inside his chest that's been bleeding for almost ten years now but at least there is something he can focus on. 

"That man, who attacked Jujutsu High, and the one from the picture I found in your wardrobe, they're the same person, right? I'm sorry for you loss." 

Gojo wants to laugh, because Suguru was a wanted criminal and Megumi shouldn't have that much compassion for him. 

"I told you, we, jujutsu sorcerers, die alone. That's just how it is," He keeps his eyes locked on the cup of tea, worried that his grief might take over once again and he's not ready for a breakdown in front of Megumi. He's the strongest, his guardian and parent, someone who takes care of him and not the other way around. 

"But not him, you didn't leave him alone."

Gojo wonders, how in all the mess and chaos that his life is, he managed to raise such a good kid. 

"Satoru, wake up." 

Beds in Jujutsu High are narrow and can barely accommodate one adult man, not to mentions two. But Gojo Satoru and Getou Suguru always find a way to fit, even when they're cramped and closely pressed together. A narrow bed is not going to stop them. 

Satoru blinks his eyes open but there's only darkness around him, no sight of the school's wall that he usually sleeps pressed into. He can't see anything but he feels a pair of strong arms circling his waist and he doesn't have to wonder to know that it's Suguru pressing him close to his chest. 

"Don't wanna," Satoru presses himself closer to Suguru, seeking his natural warmth. "I missed your embrace." 

Behind him Suguru chuckles and presses a kiss to the nape of his neck. 

"And I missed you but you need to get up soon. The world need you."

Satoru whines loudly and grabs onto Suguru's hands that rest on his stomach. He doesn't want to let this feeling go, he needs to keep his lover close for at least a minute longer. Suguru always leaves so quickly. 

"I saw you fight against his will. Are you still in there, when he controls your body?" Satoru's question is left unanswered but the way Suguru holds him tighter, gives him an inclination. 

"Save the world, then worry about me." 

"But you are my world," Satoru says and he can hear Suguru sigh behind him, he probably also rolls his eyes, as he always used to when Satoru said cheesy things. "You need to meet Yuuji, he's a cool kid and I think Megumi found a friend in him. Finally. Oh, and Megumi is kind of seeing a thousand year old curse, so your support will be needed in near future. I'm not ready for a lecture about healthy sex life." 

Suguru doesn't answer, just chuckles softly and buries his head in Satoru's hair. His arms and chest stay warm but through them seeps the atmosphere of Satoru's new surroundings. He closes his eyes, hiding blue ocean behind eyelids, letting himself get lost in the memories of love so profound he still feels them embracing him and waits. 

The prison realm is cold.