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Sanzu knew.
He was well aware of the impending doom that was Hanagaki Takemichi and Tetta Kisaki's relationship.
Takemichi could pretend to be happy all he wanted, but Sanzu knew.
"I was walking down the street when I saw your man (Yeah, I saw him)
I saw that my predictions were right (I told you)"
He took off the ring you gave him and linked his arm around someone
Takemichi and Kisaki were lovers, but they were also childhood friends. Childhood friends who found a mural connection through Tachibana Hinata.
The very moment the three of them were introduced to him, Sanzu saw straight through Kisaki. Where his hand lingered over Takemichi's waist, everything else was tied to her .
And Hinata had no clue. What were get-togethers with an old friend were dream-like dates for Kisaki.
It was not a coincidence he brought her to a restaurant on the fancier streets of Tokyo, nearby Sanzu's pharmacy. He spotted the two of them exiting across the street, their smiles carefree and happy.
I'll just leave it at that (I don't wanna hurt you)
The last time Sanzu slipped he saw Kisaki and Hinata (at a restaurant he knew Kisaki never brought Takemichi no less) together, he saw Takemichi's defense falter. There was insecurity wading in his eyes. It made him look vulnerable in a way that prickled Sanzu's skin.
Insecurity should have never been there in the first place because Takemichi was perfect.
So he stopped bringing it up.
But you actually get mad at me (Why?)
Saying that there's no way he'd do that (Sure, you're right)
If someone suggested Kisaki was a bad person, much less a cheater, Takemichi would snap. His face would become red, and his chest would puff up, always quick to defend the bastard. Takemichi tried to convey his anger, but all he looked like was a puppy throwing a tantrum to Sanzu.
This particular reaction was a part of his loyal instincts to protect those close to him.
It was also one of his biggest flaws.
Sanzu would apologize for his crude remarks, but the apology was insincere every time.
I became aware of you being upset
And I said I must have seen someone else
Yes, I'll lie for you (I'm sorry)
Of course he never brought up Kisaki again. He knew better. If he had nothing good to say (which he didn't), it was better to stay quiet and not rile up Takemichi.
He never wanted to unintentionally hurt him like that.
He wasn't like Kisaki.
Oh, I hate you for not knowing me
I hate this waiting
Please let go of his hand now
When you are sad, I feel like I could die, baby
This entire affair wasn't fair to Takemichi.
How many years of empty memories and even emptier promises would Takemichi have to suffer before he realized it was time to let go?
Sanzu was tired of Takemichi deluding himself.
Just how long would he have to wait until his feelings were known? Genuine feelings, he might add. Kisaki cherished him as a friend, but did his feelings ever reach beyond that like Sanzu's did?
What does that bastard have that I don't?
Why can't I have you, exactly?
That bastard doesn't love you
Until when are you going to cry like a fool?
Takemichi didn't care about money, social status, where you grew up, what your grades were like, or what model your car was.
He accepted people with his arms wide open. He greeted everyone he met with a smile. Never one to discriminate with his kindness.
That's why loving Takemichi was so easy. It came naturally to Sanzu. Initially, he might've disliked him for his naivety, but Sanzu quickly learned Takemichi was so much more than that.
How could Kisaki not love him?
Why was Takemichi his second option when he was Sanzu's first?
One night their friend group decided to meet up at a bar. Sanzu was twenty-three at the time, still studying for his exams like most of them were. Takemichi had shown up late and looked slightly off- his shoulders were droopy, and his grin didn't quite reach his eyes. When they sat on the barstool together, he casually slid him a drink, but then one drink escalated to ten.
Sanzu was already drunk, hanging off Muncho's shoulder while watching Takemichi chug another shot. He was about to stop him when Takemichi began muttering under his breath. It was hard to hear over their boisterous friends, but he remembered one word.
Kisaki.
He muttered his name with so much sorrow it made Sanzu pause. When Takemichi's head lifted up from where it was hidden in his elbows, he revealed a fresh set of tears streaming down his face. He was visibly shaking from the sobs wracking his body.
The sight sobered him immediately. He brought Takemichi to a quieter corner of the bar and wrapped a loose arm over his shoulder so he could cry on Sanzu's chest. Their backs turned away from the laughter and swaying bodies losing themselves to the blaring music.
Takemichi's sobs were so pitiful they almost made Sanzu flinch. There was another layer to his sorrow- one filled with loss, which was strange because he would've heard about him breaking up with Kisaki. It took Takemichi a while to calm down, but he eventually slumped against his side and promptly blacked out. He may have gotten Sanzu's shirt wet and dabbed with warm snot, but it didn't matter to Sanzu.
Takemichi was still his first priority.
After that night, Takemichi never explained his sudden outburst. All he did was apologize for running Sanzu's night.
That idiot.
You look happy when you talk about him (You look happy)
You look good since you are laughing like this (I'm happy)
You say that you really love him, that it's going to last forever
You believe in this and (I don't know what to say no more)
Takemichi lit up with the mere mention of Kisaki's name. Whether it be about his success in the business field or a compliment about his "sharp" looks, Takemichi would enthusiastically carry the rest of the conversation with a pep in his step. He would recount the nights where he had to tuck in Kisaki when he studied too long and coo about how romantic the other man was (which sounded like a poor joke to Sanzu).
He brightened up even more when he was by Kisaki's side. Sanzu couldn't deny the bitterness that pierced him whenever the couple showed up arm in arm. It was always a reminder that it was Kisaki who made Takemichi happy. Probably happier than Sanzu could have.
The expensive engagement ring was the icing on the cake.
Just when would Takemichi realize that his delusions were hurting him?
All of your friends know him well (Yup, they know)
Why are you the only one who can't see what everyone else sees? (It's you)
They say love is blind, oh, baby, you so blind
I really hope you will break up
Their friends knew.
Mikey, Draken, Chifuyu, Senju- hell, even Hanma knew.
Kisaki's and Takemichi's relationship looked picture perfect to people who knew nothing about them. They were childhood friends that fell in love, each with a successful career and supportive parents.
The glimmer in Takemichi's eyes dulled as the years passed by. He declined invitations to hang out and appeared thinner every time he did show up. He was becoming distant for someone who used to be the life of the party.
Sanzu remembered a time when it wasn't always like this.
He distinctly remembers the night Takemichi and Kisaki came out as a couple. It happened at a party on the night of their high school graduation.
The future was looking bright. Sanzu had just graduated, was set for university, and was ready to ask out his crush, Hanagaki Takemichi. He and Takemichi unexpectedly became friends thanks to their overlapping friend circles. They shared multiple classes but never talked before. Takemichi approached him first, complimenting his hair and shyly suggesting they work as partners for an upcoming project. They became close in a short amount of time after Sanzu got a feel for Takemichi's character and opened up to him.
As they said, the rest was history. Sanzu's feelings for the other boy developed like a tsunami during their high school years, and it never stopped.
The night felt young and for once in his life, Sanzu felt unstoppable.
It was just as he returned to the kitchen for another bottle of beer that he caught the back of Takemichi's head leaning on Kisaki's shoulder. They were standing on the living room's balcony, where the stars shine the brightest without the glare of city lights. Their hands were intertwined in a way that screamed intimacy, leaving no space in between each other.
They didn't speak a word or give any indication they heard him. He was about to say something when they kissed.
The four-eyed bastard lifted Takemichi's chin up and swooped down to claim his lips all in one go. They closed their eyes and pressed towards each other tightly like they tried to say something with their mouths. The kiss was relatively short, but with every swipe of the tongue seemed to be another word communicated.
Sanzu thought he heard something crashing at first- maybe it was Baji throwing another plant pot at Mikey in his drunken stupor- but he discovered it was his heart falling to the pits of his stomach.
2:37 AM , the kitchen clock read.
That was the exact time Sanzu realized what heartbreak was.
Oh, I hate you for not knowing me
I hate this waiting
Please let go of his hand now
When you are sad, I feel like I could die, baby
Sometimes, Sanzu loved Takemichi as much as he hated him.
Takemichi had to know this relationship was destroying him, not nourishing him like it should have.
The oblivious card he was using would eventually run out.
What does that bastard have that I don't?
Why can't I have you, exactly?
That bastard doesn't love you
Until when are you going to cry like a fool?
Something was burning inside Sanzu's chest every time he woke up without Takemichi on the other side of his bed.
However, Kisaki's chest didn't burn for the same reasons as him. It never would unless he gave up on Hinata before it was too late.
Not that Sanzu had ever rooted for his ass.
Yeah, expensive cars, pretty clothes
Classy restaurants, they suit you well
But that bastard next to you really isn't it
Takemichi was beautiful. That was an undeniable fact. Sanzu never stopped believing that even when he knew he couldn't look at Takemichi like that anymore.
Sapphires were bland in comparison to Takemichi's eyes.
It didn't help that Kisaki dressed him up in high-end brands that accentuated his youthful, innocent appearance.
He cursed the bastard for knowing how to make him look so lovely and still unable to wholly appreciate him.
He smiles falsely next to you
He touches your cheeks and hair
But inside, he is definitely thinking of some other girl
How could he do that? It's like a sin
Sanzu had to hold himself back on multiple occasions in Kisaki's presence. The violent urge to rid the man of Takemichi's emotional turmoils raged every time he carelessly caressed Takemichi while imagining someone else.
It was wrong.
Takemichi was everything Sanzu ever wanted, whereas Kisaki saw him as replaceable. Forgettable, boring, and incomparable to the actual object of his affections.
Disgusting is what Sanzu thought of Kisaki as. A scumbag that toyed with Takemichi's feelings and left him alone to despair about his worth.
As much as you shed tears, I'll treat you better, baby
The pain you handle by yourself, will you share some with me, baby?
Please look at me, why don't you know that your love is me?
Why are you the only one who doesn't know?
It pained Sanzu to see Takemichi lose pieces of himself trying to gain Kisaki's love. He could tell in the way Takemichi would cry quietly in his sleep after an impromptu sleepover at Sanzu's or cry too hard during a movie that wasn't even sad.
It made him ache not being to help Takemichi. Was it possible to help someone who didn't want to be helped without hurting yourself?
Sanzu would offer him the world and more. Takemichi should be crying from happiness, not its antonym.
What does that bastard have that I don't?
Why can't I have you, exactly?
That bastard doesn't love you
Until when are you going to cry like a fool?
If only Takemichi turned around and saw Sanzu's bleeding heart for him.