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It was his 17th birthday and Jame’s parents said that he and James could drink to celebrate, but they had to be responsible and if they got hungover, Mr and Mrs Potter were not going to make breakfast quietly in the morning. It was agreed on and decided, James and Sirius were going to drink a shitton amount of alcohol. Well, that was the plan until James realized he really hated the taste of whiskey and decided to drink coco-cola for the night.
But here’s the thing… no one knows what type of drunk they might be until they reach the stage in question. Are you a sloppy drunk who tends to fall into tables and walls that you claim wasn’t there before? Are you the affectionate drunk who will kiss everyone on the forehead and tell them how much you love them? Maybe you’re the surprisingly good dancer that can somehow remember the dancing lessons you were forced to take until the age of 12 by your parents. And of course, none of those would apply to Sirius at one, two, and three drinks… no, Sirius would have more pose than that and he can hold his liquor, right? But that doesn’t matter, what matters is what four drinks Sirius is like. What was four drink Sirius like? James was hoping his brother would be the happy drunk or find everything absolutely hilarious, but that was far from the drunk Sirius was.
At four drinks, Sirius was the honest drunk. Sirius was the most honest James had ever seen him and he held nothing back… When Sirius had four drinks, it was almost like he had been given a potion that makes him tell the truth and nothing but the truth. But this wasn’t a truth potion, this was just an honest Sirius that wouldn’t remember what he had spilt without blinking an eye or trying to cover the truth. Everything Sirius said was spoken like it didn’t matter or affect him, it was like a truth potion that covers any and every emotion when he spoke, an empty laugh occasionally coming through to accompany the words that should have sounded more broken than they sounded.
“Alright,” James laughed loudly, tears streaming down his face as Sirius collapsed onto the couch after finishing showing James his final and most favourite ballet performance he did at the age of 12. “How about another shot?”
“Fuck yes!”
“I don’t know how you like this stuff,” James grimaced, pouring a shot of whiskey and watching his brother take it immediately and follow it by swallowing some apple juice. There was no rule about using apple juice as a chaser, right? Why not use your favourite juice to follow the taste of liquor?
“It’s like… Petit a petit, l’oiseau fait son nid!”
“English, Pads. I don’t understand French and you know that.”
“Little by little, the bird makes its nest,” he translated absentmindedly.
“Still doesn’t help, idiot. What does a bird have to do with alcohol?”
“The tolerance builds little by little and then there's a nest!”
“Uh-huh,” James nodded slowly, pulling out his phone and typing the comment to send to Lily. “Whatever you say.”
( James / Lily )
10:49 pm: Oh gosh… he’s going to be so hungover in the morning haha *laughing emoji*!
10:50 pm: Most definitely… he will be a pain in my ass in the morning.
10:51 pm: You keep offering him more shots! Can you blame him?!
10:52 pm: He’s my brother, of course I can blame him!
10:53 pm: You know he’ll get his revenge, right? -Remus.
10:54 pm: Lovely of you to join the conversation, Moony! I was wondering when you’d show up. But no he won’t, he probably won’t remember this in the morning…
10:55 pm: Exactly! Be nice to him, he’ll already have to deal with loud noises in the morning from your parents. -Remus.
10:56 pm: Awe… you’re so sweet to him… who are you and what have you done with Remus??
10:57 pm: Remus has had enough hangovers to have sympathy for how Sirius is going to feel.
10:58 pm: YOU’VE BEEN HUNGOVER?!?!?!
10:59 pm: Yes, James, I have been hungover *eye rolling emoji*. Believe it or not, I do have a life outside of school work, work, and you three. I’m more surprised that you and Sirius haven’t been drunk before. -Remus.
11:00 pm: What’s more important than us?! Are we not all the entertainment you need in life?
11:01 pm: I feel like I need alcohol to deal with you two most of the time…. -Remus.
11:02 pm: Well… that’s hurtful…
11:03 pm: You’ll get over it *eye rolling emoji*. How’s Sirius doing?
11:04 pm: Uh… not sure? He kinda seems like he’s in a fog or something, just staring off?
11:05 pm: This is the part where you put the damn phone away and go check on your brother. We’ll check in on you later. Love you! <3
11:06 pm: I assume that was Lily but I’m going to pretend that the love is from both of you! Catch up with you all later, prepare for potentially disastrous recaps of drunk-Sirius events.
11:07 pm: It was from me, Lily, your girlfriend, but I’ll say the love on behalf of Remus because he’s rolling his eyes.
"Hey, Pads, how are you doing?"
"Oh, the usual, you know..."
"So you're good then?"
"Well, I say I'm good," Sirius shrugged.
"Sirius?.. what are you talking about?"
"I mean, I'm doing really shitty almost all the time," he explained, staring at the ceiling. "But I don't have a reason to be doing shitty, you know? I'm no longer with the Black family, I have my new family who has always been there for me, I mean, I've got Remus and Lily too. I don't have a reason to feel the way I'm feeling so I can't say that I'm not okay because I can't explain why."
"Sirius..."
"So I just say I'm doing good, you know?"
All James could do was stare in shock at his all-too-calm best friend and brother. James knew that Sirius wasn't as good as he let on, he lived with him for fucks sake! But he wasn't expecting that answer, there was no thought that had crossed James' mind of Sirius admitting what he did without a shred of emotion.
Sirius was able to keep his emotions behind a wall, James couldn't deny that. But James also knew that there was a point where fidgeting, bouncing his legs, and deep breathing would show up when he and Sirius would talk about deeper topics. But this time? This time, there was nothing. Sirius was sitting still on the chair, one leg over the arm of the chair while he stared at the ceiling. His foot that was hanging off of the chair wasn't moving or shaking; he wasn't fidgeting with his ring or bracelet; his eyes weren't darting around the room and he wasn't taking deep breaths to try to keep his non-existing tears from falling. There was nothing, it was like Sirius' fourth drink was a truth serum that blocked all and every emotion to the event/topic being talked about. It wasn’t Sirius and it broke James’ heart.
“You don’t have to have a reason,” James finally managed to quietly say after a moment of silence. “Especially when you’re with this family, you know that, right?”
“I can’t risk burning the bridge yet or making you all tired of me.”
“That won’t happen though!”
“And my parents once said that they loved me,” he shrugged, “but here we are.”
“You know what my parents once said?”
“That I’m better than you at football?”
“Fuck off! That was one time!”
“One time in truth,” Sirius laughed softly with a small smile.
“Whatever,” James scowled in response, messing up his brother’s hair. “What I was going to say was that they once said that french toast was the-”
“Best food to be enjoyed at any time,” Sirius finished with a knowing nod. “I remember that.”
“So what do you think? Should we make some french toast?”
“I think… that I should not be in charge of cooking them. I will burn everything.”
“It’s a good thing I wasn’t going to let you near the stove anyway then, isn’t it?”
“You, James Fleamont Prongs Potter, are one of the smartest people I know!”
“And I will be holding onto that for the rest of my life,” James whispered under his breath, a big smile making its way to his face.
“What the fuck happened last night?...”
“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!”
“Shut the fuck up before I sow your lips together and remove your tongue so you can never speak or make out with Lily ever again,” came the immediate and mumbled reply from Sirius from under the pillow.
“Wouldn’t it make more sense to remove the tongue and then sow my lips together?”
“I. Don’t. Fucking. Care. Just stop making that noise…”
“...you mean talking?”
“Yes!- Ow…”
“That’s on you,” James quickly spoke, raising his hands in surrender. “I had nothing to do with that.”
“Whatever… what happened last night? The last thing I remember is kissing the family portrait or something?...”
“Oh yeah, you were very affectionate with how much you loved us,” James laughed loudly, earning his a pillow to the head. “You dememanded that you should kiss all of us on the forehead but mum and dad weren’t here so you decided that you needed to kiss the portraits.”
“Oh gosh…”
“And three drink Sirius apparently is still really, really good at ballet-”
“Oh no…”
“And showed me your last performance-”
“No no no! Okay, okay, I get it!”
“You mean you don’t want to hear-”
“ Please… just stop… what did four drink Sirius do?”
“Nothing,” James replied with a small shrug. “You were very distracted by french toast that I didn’t get to meet four drink you.”
“Thank goodness,” Sirius sighed softly. “I could only imagine how embarrassing the next me could have been…”
“Me too,” James whispered softly. “But on the bright side, I hear out parents which means-”
“Good morning, Sleeping Beauties!!!”