Work Text:
“It’s not a secret,” Mr. Johnson says. He ducks down to wipe more aggressively at a stain on the floor, the mop squeaking. “Everyone knows.” He pauses. “Right?”
“Everyone is scared of Melissa,” He continues. “But not me. I’ve had to clean her classroom and there’s a picture of her and Barbara in her top drawer, from their wedding, I’m pretty sure. Barbara wrote an entire love note on the back of it. Very sweet. Don’t know why Melissa keeps it right under all those crazy fucking bunny plates, but I guess those are two of her favourite things.”
-
They’ve been married for seven years, together for ten. Melissa doesn’t think it requires an announcement to every new teacher who shows up at the school, not when most of them barely make it for an entire year.
Melissa is Googling bronze anniversary presents when Janine pops her head into her classroom.
“What do you want?” Melissa asks. She squints and knocks her glasses off her head and onto her nose.
Janine takes the question as an invitation and walks to stand behind her. She makes a noise at the bronze engraving Melissa is looking at.
“Bronze?” Janine asks. “That’s for an eighth anniversary, right?”
Melissa hums, “Of course you have the list memorized.” She scrolls down the page. Janine keeps talking, “You know, the modern gift is actually lace or linen for eight years, because they’re more delicate fabrics, and somehow - eight years is still new, so it’s supposed to represent freshness in a marriage, but they also last a long time, so it’s more of an accurate -”
“Janine,” Melissa cuts her off. She does type start to type lace lingerie into the search bar. It sounds a lot more fun than bronze. “What do you want?”
“Oh!” Janine laughs. “I just wanted to tell you that Courtney is doing a lot better in her new class, so we did -”
“I know,” Melissa says. She tilts her head to the side and briefly looks at the clock. Ten minutes until class starts again. “I checked in last week.”
“Oh,” Janine says, sadder this time.
Melissa sighs, “You did good, Janine, now scram, I’ve got to figure out a present for my wife.”
Janine gapes at her, mouthing wife? But Melissa isn’t paying attention. She checks through five different websites before Janine has recovered enough to leave. She tries to focus on teaching, but one kid throws up and then two more follow suit, and it’s enough to distract her from the fact that Melissa has a wife. She drags Jacob out of his classroom as soon as the last bell rings and the students have left.
“Wife?” Jacob repeats. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Janine says. “She has a wife.” She hisses the last part and Jacob snorts, “Why are you so surprised?”
“I’m sorry that I don’t have a lot of experience with work friends,” Janine whispers. “I hate not knowing things!”
“She told you she has a wife,” Jacob points out. “That’s progress, right?”
“Not fast enough,” Janine says. “And she refuses to use her real name on social media accounts, so it’s impossible to find out any information.”
“Are you sure she even knows how to like - use Instagram?” Jacob asks. “I don’t think she’s the type to post pictures of her wife anyway.”
Janine shrugs, “You never know how different someone’s social media personality is from real life.”
“True,” Jacob says. “We could just ask her?”
“I don’t want to be murdered,” Janine says. “She gets here early, right? I’ll pick you up at seven tomorrow.”
Jacob makes a face, “That’s really going to cut into my breakfast time with Zach and you know he has a big presentation tomorrow -”
“Fine,” Janine huffs. “Thursday?”
“Sure,” Jacob smiles. “Will Tariq even be awake by then?”
Janine scowls, “He can take the bus.”
-
Jacob yawns, “Did we pick the one day she doesn’t show up early?”
Janine pouts. She rips another piece off of her muffin, Jacob likes the bottom and she prefers the tops, and she absolutely is not making a joke there, and chews slowly. It’s cold and she’s tired and she can’t exactly pinpoint why she wants to know so badly.
The parking lot is mostly empty, Mr. Thompson’s car and a few others she doesn’t recognize the only one other than hers. Jacob squats back against the wall and Janine starts to pace, “I mean - we can’t even narrow it down, because I don’t know any of her friends. I tried to thank the guy who brought us rugs and asked for his name and he said it was none of my business.”
“Barbara,” Jacob says.
“It can’t be Barbara,” Janine says. “I would’ve noticed and she’s never mentioned a wife or marriage or anything and we’re like - almost friends now. Real ones.”
“No, I mean - Barbara is right there,” Jacob says. He stands up again and nods towards the parking lot, where Melissa is flying into a parking spot with Barbara in the passenger seat. She shakes her head, but she’s smiling, like she’s used to the disaster way that Melissa prefers to drive.
Janine’s heard her insult bus drivers on the grade two field trip they took to a zoo but she thinks she probably shouldn’t be offering anyone advice.
“Oh,” Janine says. “Maybe they live near each other?”
“Maybe,” Jacob says, slower.
The doors slam shut and they jump up, trying to make it look like they’re casually walking into the school.
“Why are you two acting so shady?” Melissa asks. “Did you fuck up the entire power grid again?”
-
“You’re close with Barbara, right?” Janine asks.
Gregory blinks at her. He stares over her shoulder at two kids who are shaping mashed potatoes into something that vaguely resembles a snowman. He decides not to intervene. “No?”
“She’s giving you private lessons,” Janine says. “That means she likes you.”
“We haven’t done them in a while,” Gregory says. “The kids did pretty well on the math tests, I never really thought of the questions they ask about why someone needs so many watermelons to be relevant but it turns out that they really are.”
“Of course,” Janine nods. “Anyway, private lessons, what did she tell you?”
“She was really into dancing,” Gregory shrugs. “And answering questions. Melissa suggested funny voices, but I could never change my voice.”
“Melissa was there too?”
Gregory nods, “Barbara said she was the best teacher she knows.”
“Interesting,” Janine says. “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome,” Gregory says, then sighs, “Hey! Nate, you can’t put peas up your nose!”
-
“Did you pick an anniversary present?” Janine asks.
Melissa jumps, “We need to put bells on you.”
Janine smiles innocently and opens the fridge. The smell hasn’t disappeared yet and she sighs. She does not mention that it was Melissa’s fish’s fault. “Did you go with lace or bronze?”
“None of your business,” Melissa says.
“When is your anniversary?”
“July,” Melissa answers. “Going to throw us a party?”
“I could if you wanted me to!” Janine grins. “I know I don’t seem like a party girl but I’m very good at making playlists.”
“Is it just Tariq’s no drug songs over and over again?” Melissa asks.
“No,” Janine scowls. “I know how to have fun.”
“I’m sure you do,” Melissa says. The toaster oven beeps and Melissa nudges a piece of lasagna onto two plates. As soon as she places them onto one of the tables, Barbara appears, sitting down in front of one and smiling, “Thank you very much.”
-
It is not stalking. She isn’t harassing Melissa, she’s just - taking notes.
Melissa’s classroom is three doors down from Barbara’s and after lunch she always hovers with Barbara in front of hers. Barbara walks to Melissa’s office when school is over and drags the chair from the corner by the fish tank - Janine is pretty sure it’s a fish tank filled with frogs but she isn’t going to ask about that - and they mark together.
They drive together most mornings which means they leave together too, as soon as school is over on Fridays, but staying later on the other four. They always sit together at lunch and seemingly don’t have to talk to communicate, but it isn’t until Melissa says that she wouldn’t kill for anyone except Barbara that Janine catches on.
-
Janine knocks on Barbara’s door during her free period when she knows Barbara’s students are having quiet time. Barbara hovers in her doorway and Janine smiles at her, “Do you have a second?”
Barbara nods and they step out into the hallway.
“You’re married, right?” Janine asks.
“Yes,” Barabra says, slowly.
“I found a ring,” Janine lies. “And I think Tariq is going to ask me soon, but I wanted - I mean, do you have any advice?”
“Do you want to marry him?” Barbara asks. She can’t hide the disgust on her face but it softens into something more like worry.
“Maybe?” Janine says. She can admit that it’s much easier to focus on Melissa’s relationship than her own. Tariq doesn’t carpool with her and Jacob in the mornings, and Janine hates realizing that it’s better that way. Jacob tells her about Zach and how they’re thinking about adopting a dog and he asks gentle, careful questions about Tariq that Janine appreciates and finds annoying.
“I don’t think you should marry someone you’re only maybe about,” Barbara says.
“How did you know?” Janine asks. “When you married…” She trails off and Barbara smirks, like she knows exactly what Janine is doing.
“I was the one who proposed,” Barbara says. “She was shocked but we - eloped, actually.”
“You did?” Janine can feel surprise take over her face and Barbara laughs.
“We’d both been married before,” Barbara says. “And it felt different, with her, and I just - knew, that I could wake up with her every day for the rest of my life.”
“Oh.”
“She likes to joke that the second time's the charm,” Barbara says, fondly. “I think, Janine, that you might be overthinking things.”
-
“It has to be Barbara,” Janine whispers.
Jacob nods, “It would make sense, actually. They’ve always had like - an energy between them.”
Janine makes a face, “Sure, but how do we get them to tell us?”
“Who are you talking about?” Ava asks.
“Jesus,” Janine gasps. “Where did you come from?”
“That’s a rude thing to ask someone, Janine, I expected better of you,” Ava shakes her head. “But I did just get back from a weekend trip to Toronto. Do you know how much better the American dollar is right now?”
“Actually,” Jacob starts but Ava laughs, “I don’t care. Who were you talking about?”
“Melissa and Barbara,” Janine sighs.
“Oh, yeah, they’re definitely banging,” Ava nods.
Janine makes a face, “How do you know?”
“Haven’t you ever heard of HR?” Ava asks. “And I can tell when people have fucked. Just like I know it’s been a long time for you, Janine.”
“That’s not -”
“Anyway, they’ve been married forever,” Ava sighs. “Disgusting.”
-
Janine caves. She walks up to Melissa during a recess break, the fire hydrants turned into sprinklers again, and Melissa hiding in the shade.
Barbara is talking to Jacob about movies again, both of them with their heads tilted together, and smiles on their faces. Janine is briefly distracted by Gregory playing jump rope with some of the fourth graders, but she shakes out of it.
“Melissa,” Janine says. “Is Barbara your wife?”
“Yeah, of course,” Melissa scoffs. “Who else would I marry?”
“I don’t know,” Janine scowls. “It’s not like you told us that you were -”
“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Melissa says. She smirks, “How long did it take you to figure out?
“Not that long,” Janine says. “A perfectly acceptable amount of time.”
“Right,” Melissa laughs. “You could’ve just asked.”
-
“Look, it’s not my fault that people are idiots,” Melissa says. “If people can’t tell that I love her, well, why would I care? I’m not here to point out the obvious.” Her phone buzzes and she grins, looking down to read the message.
“Anyway, what was the question?”
“Why do you think Barbara is a great teacher?”
“Oh,” Melissa grins. “How long do you have?”

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