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Grinning Mad, Light Blue and Golden

Summary:

“I’m going to slay you!” the kid shouted, eyes locked fiercely onto the dragon.
Techno blinked. “Uhhhh…”
“And you can’t stop me!” The kid swung his blade a bit for good measure. “My name is Tommy, and I’m the biggest man ever! And really strong! Like a knight! So we have to battle!”

Or: Techno may be a man-eating dragon, but that doesn't mean he's going to eat a child. Come on. He has standards.

Notes:

This fic was inspired by this sircantus tweet. Make sure to check out his Twitter and AO3 account!

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

Technoblade had been half-asleep when he noticed the sound of footsteps, soft and careful, creeping around his den.

He bit back a sigh. It was probably another knight, desperate for the glory or wealth that came with killing a dragon. Whoever it was, they were interrupting Techno’s half-hearted attempt at a nap. How frustrating.

Suddenly, a loud, cascading crash assaulted Techno’s ears. He was immediately awake and alert, overcome by some instinctual anger. Someone had touched his hoard. Someone had knocked over a stack of his golden coins. The crime was unforgivable. It was intolerable. It was—

Techno was startled out of his thoughts by the sight of the intruder. In front of him, surrounded by the very coins that had just been knocked over, was a little human boy, small enough to crawl comfortably into one of Techno’s claws. Technoblade had never been very good at determining human ages, but this one seemed particularly young, even by mankind’s standards. 

The cavern was dim, but he could make out the child’s main features well enough. The boy had unbrushed blond hair and the knobbiest knees and elbows Techno had ever seen, as well as two blue eyes that shone like sapphires. The kid’s clothes were torn and baggy, with no armor or shoes to protect him. In his hands, which were only shaking slightly, there was a rusty dagger with a worn leather hilt.

The child’s defensive stance was dreadful. Even with the tiny blade held out, Techno would have been able to knock him over in a heartbeat. Honestly, given how small the intruder was, it would have been just as easy to snap him up in a single bite. The kid’s weapon would hardly count as a toothpick.

But Techno couldn’t fight this little warrior. The thing was barely more than a baby, and even dragons had standards. Besides, the kid didn’t look well-fed enough to be worth eating.

The boy glared at Techno, barely a hint of fear on his face as he brandished his knife.

“I’m going to slay you!” the kid shouted, eyes locked fiercely onto the dragon.

Techno blinked. “Uhhhh…”

“And you can’t stop me!” The kid swung his blade a bit for good measure. “My name is Tommy, and I’m the biggest man ever! And really strong! Like a knight! So we have to battle!”

“I’m not going to fight you,” Techno said. He tried to peer towards the mouth of the cave. Didn’t kids this young usually have parents nearby? Or was that just a dragon thing?

Tommy looked a little thrown off by that, as though he hadn’t considered that Techno might turn down his challenge. “But… but you have to! I’m not allowed to go back until I kill you!”

That… was worrying. Usually, the only fools who dared enter Techno’s cavern were well-trained knights and wizards. The occasional hapless traveler might stumble in, but a quick burst of fire was always enough to scare them off. 

There had never been a child in his den before, and there had certainly never been one tasked with killing Techno. Frankly, the dragon was completely out of his depths.

“I don’t care,” Techno said, “I’m not going to fight you.”

Tommy pouted, looking unbelievably disappointed that his suicide mission had just fallen through. “Why not?”

“Because you’re a kid?”

Said kid now looked furious. “I’m not a kid! I’m really big! As big as you!”

That was just objectively not true. Tommy was clearly underfed, but even if his growth hadn’t been somewhat stunted, he would have still been much smaller than an adult dragon. Techno decided to switch tactics.

“Well, even if you are big, you don’t seem ready for a fight,” Techno said, “Think about it. Knights are usually well-fed when they slay a dragon, right?”

Tommy seemed to think this over, biting his lip slightly at the effort. “... I guess…”

“So we can’t fight now,” Techno said, “It wouldn’t be a good battle. You need to eat something first.”

Tommy seemed to accept Techno’s conclusion, once again pointing his dagger at his foe.

“Give me food!” the runt shouted, face stuck in the most adorable scowl Techno had even seen.

“Uh, okay,” he said. Techno wasn’t used to getting bossed around like this, but hopefully if he fed Tommy, he’d be able to convince him to head back to the village. Then Tommy could try slaying him again in another 50 years or so when he was finally fully grown. “How do you like deer?”

 


 

As it turned out, Tommy did not like deer. Or, at least, he seemed to have a problem with eating it raw and bloody, even when Techno offered to peel the fur off.

That was fine. Techno stepped outside and yanked a berry bush out of the ground. Tommy seemed to like that better, hands darting between the branches.

It was exceptionally easy to continue putting off the battle. No, Tommy, you need to finish your lunch first. No, Tommy, you need to learn how to hold your knife. No, Tommy, I’m going to take a nap.

Each time without fail, Tommy would huff and then conceded immediately. It was a massive relief to Techno.

Everything he noticed about the boy made him a bit more concerned. Even though the kid seemed hungry, he was barely able to stomach more than a few handfuls of berries before claiming he was full. Also, upon closer inspection, the kid’s clothes were threadbare, completely incapable of shielding his fragile human skin from any of the elements. Skin, which, by the way, was covered with half-healed cuts and bruises, as though the kid had lost many fights before challenging Techno. And Tommy was missing two of his teeth! Could humans even grow teeth back? Techno didn’t know.

Eventually, the entire day had passed. As the sun set, Techno lit a small campfire to help Tommy see better in the darkness of the den.

Tommy seemed entranced by Techno’s ability to breath fire, looking at the flames as though they were the most magnificent thing he had ever seen.

“Do it again!” he urged, bouncing slightly.

Techno hummed. “If I do it, will you go to sleep?”

Tommy nodded eagerly. Smiling, Techno let out a tiny burst of flame, barely big enough to light a torch, let alone a campfire.

Tommy didn’t seem to care how small it was.

“That was so fucking cool!” he shouted, puffing his chest up as though he was about to breathe fire too, “You’re so awesome! How do you do that?”

“I’ll tell you about it in the morning,” Techno said, “I seem to recall that a certain somebody promised to go to sleep if I did that?"

Tommy pouted, but didn’t complain as he curled up in a little ball by the campfire. 

The situation felt a bit wrong to Techno. Dragon pups usually slept next to their parents. It was safer, warmer, and more comfortable. Something in the back of Techno’s mind itched at the thought of Tommy sleeping alone, unsecured and unguarded in the middle of the cavern.

And the child looked cold. Despite the fire, he still wrapped his arms tight around his torso, clothes unable to keep him as warm. The den, with all its stone and metal treasures, got frigid at night.

Techno cleared his throat.

“You know,” he said, immediately catching Tommy’s attention, “If you’re cold, you could sleep under my wing. It might be a bit warmer.”

Tommy frowned, clearly skeptical.

Fine. Back to the usual tactic it was, then. “If you’re going to slay me, you need to get a good night’s rest. You’ll sleep much better if you’re warm and protected.”

Tommy thought it over for a few more moments, and then nodded, scurrying under the dragon's wing.

Something warm burst in Techno’s chest as the child snuggled into his side, curled up like a baby dragon. 

Once again, it suddenly struck Techno how odd it was that Tommy was alone. Baby dragons weren’t allowed to leave their parents until they were in their 80s, at minimum. Techno hadn’t left his until he was 120. This child… was probably only 20 in dragon years? 25? Far too young to be alone, whatever the answer was. 

Techno took a heavy breath, breathing a bit more warmth undermeath his wing. At least, if nothing else, Tommy was safe for the night.

 


 

Techno didn’t battle Tommy the next morning, or the morning after that, or the morning after that. There was always something more pressing, whether it be a meal to fill the boy’s stomach or an explanation that No, Tommy, you can’t just charge at dragons like that, my scales will deflect the attack.

It had only been a few days, but the child was looking stronger and healthier. Not strong enough to stand a chance against Techno, sure, but undeniably better fed and rested. He was even eating some of the deer meat, now that Techno had started roasting it with his breath. Humans had such weird hang-ups when it came to food.

Tommy was also much cleaner. Techno had led him to a stream, and after a good bit of splashing and and diving, the child had finally washed the dirt and blood from his skin and hair. Now, his curls seemed to glow like gold, reflecting off of every gleaming surface in the den. For the first time in Techno's memory, the thought of a human amongst his treasures didn't bother him. Not if it was Tommy, with his gemstone eyes and golden hair.

(The child's bruises also shone brighter, now that they had been washed. Techno didn't like those as much.)

Tommy’s presence was quickly becoming normal. Better than that, it was becoming good. Techno had watched decades of days slip by in this cave, hardly able to tell one from the others. But Tommy? Little Tommy, who looked at everything with such curiosity and wonder? He made everything feel new.

“The mayor was totally wrong about you, you know,” Tommy said, cheerfully flipping through some of Techno’s old tomes. The boy couldn’t read, despite his protests to the contrary, but he liked running his hands across the heavy pages and looking at the pictures.

“Oh?” Techno asked, “What do you mean?”

“He said you were really mean and that you liked eating people, but you haven’t eaten me at all!”

Techno nodded. There was no need to tell Tommy that he had, in fact, eaten many humans in the past. Most of them had deserved it, anyway.

“What else do they say about me?”

“The mayor said that someone needed to slay you, or else you’d burn down the town. But I don’t think you’d do something like that,” Tommy said, flipping to another page, “That was why he sent me up here to fight you. Because he thinks you're scary. But I'm never scared!”

Techno tensed, looking at the child. “The mayor sent you up here? To my den?”

Tommy nodded. “Uh-huh. He said that if I was just going to keep stealing food from people, then I should ‘make myself useful’ and not come back until I killed you.”

A wave of fury washed over Techno. Sending up knights to fight him was bad enough, but sending up a kid? Knowing full-well he wouldn’t stand a chance? Did humans not protect their young?

“Also,” Tommy announced cheerfully, “he said that if I killed you, I’d get 100 gold pieces! And they’d be all mine, and no one would be allowed to take them from me!”

Techno’s anger deepened. His den was filled to the brim with gold pieces, tens of thousands at the very least. And that wasn’t even considering all of the golden crowns, the enchanted armor, the gilded weapons, the countless gemstones, or his massive collection of jewelry. 100 gold pieces wouldn’t make up even a fraction of his wealth, and it certainly wasn’t a fair bounty for his head. He was physically insulted that the price had been set so low.

What made it worse was the way Tommy had said the number. “100 gold pieces,” as though it was life-changing. As though it was worth walking into a dragon’s den for.

“Do they normally take your gold from you?” Techno asked, voice gritting out between his fangs.

“Oh yeah,” Tommy said, still mostly distracted by the book, “Some of the people in town say that if I’m too weak to keep something, then I don’t deserve it. But I’ve still got my knife! I bit the last guy who tried to take it from me!”

Fury threatened to overwhelm Techno. The idea that Tommy had never been allowed to have a hoard, that every treasure that touched his fingertips had been ripped from them moments later, made him want to fly down to the village and burn it to the ground. He wanted to tear those thieves to shreds for even daring to look Tommy’s way.

But he couldn’t. Not right now. Not when Tommy was in front of him, in need of so much affection.

“How about this?” Techno asked, trying to regain his composure, “I’ll pay you 200 gold pieces if you don’t try to kill me.”

Tommy turned to Techno, eyes wide. “Wait, really?”

Techno nodded. Tommy seemed to think this over very hard.

“How do you know I’m not lying about killing you?” Tommy asked, looking very suspicious.

Prime, this kid was dumb. Why couldn’t he just accept a good thing when it came to him?

“Okay, how about this,” Techno offered, “Every day that you don’t kill me, I’ll give you a piece of gold. That way you have an incentive to not hurt me.” 

Tommy’s eyes went right back to being wide. “Okay!” 

Of course, Tommy could hypothetically get a lot more gold if he just killed Techno outright. Hypothetically. Techno was glad that the kid didn't seem to realize this.

“Can I have my gold please?” Tommy asked, looking up at Techno expectantly, “I didn’t kill you today!”

Techno snorted. “Of course.” He began sorting through one of his piles of riches, passing over various coins and jewels. Eventually, he found what he was looking for.

Holding the treasure very softly in his mouth, Techno placed a tiny crown on top of Tommy’s head. It was one of the few he owned that wouldn’t immediately slip down past the boy’s eyes, even if it still needed to be supported by his ears. The headpiece was gorgeous, a true work of art, made of intricately woven gold and a cascade of little rubies.

Tommy’s mouth fell open. “This isn’t a gold piece!” he gasped, trying his best to look at the crown without taking it off his head. It was as adorable as it was ineffective.

Techno smiled. “It’s one piece and it’s made of gold,” he said, “I never specified which gold piece I would give you.”

Tommy leapt to his feet, jumping with excitement. “I look like a prince!” he exclaimed, grinning at the dragon in front of him as he flapped his arms.

Techno couldn’t help but agree. Even if the child was still a bit dirty and poorly dressed, he looked as though he deserved the world on a platter. In that moment, Techno decided to give it to him.

Wrapping his tail around Tommy, Techno pulled the child closer, curling around him protectively. Tommy giggled at the movement, more than content to simply take the crown off his head and gawk at it.

It would be the first gift of many, Techno vowed. He could already imagine what the boy would look like covered in gold.

 


 

It had been several weeks since Tommy had arrived in Techno’s den, and the child seemed to get brighter with every passing day. It wasn’t just the gleaming jewelry that now covered his little body, or the shine of his golden hair now that he had finally gotten a few more proper baths. It was something deeper, more intrinsic. Like something new was beaming in the child’s smile.

Techno was more than willing to give Tommy whatever he wanted. After a while, the kid had grown tired of gold, begging Techno to let him pick his own payment for the day. Now, every evening the boy would choose something unexpected. A bolt of silk to make into a nest. A pretty feather to weave into his hair. An antique telescope to look at the night stars.

Techno would have preferred gold, but any concession was worth seeing the pure delight on Tommy’s face as he showed off his newest discovery to the dragon.

If it had been anyone else, Techno would have fumed at the idea of someone touching his treasures. But Tommy wasn’t stealing. The boy was part of Techno’s hoard now, in his own way. Anything that belonged to one of them belonged to the other, and Techno was more than willing to share.

Tommy would spend the whole day exploring and playing, eating fresh food and listening to Techno’s stories. Then, the child would spend the night curled into the dragon's side, snoring softly.

Techno hadn’t been lonely before, but now? He wasn’t sure if he could live without that little smile, shining brighter than any jewel in his collection.

Tommy was energetic and enthusiastic. He also woke up much earlier than Techno was used to. Every morning was a hunt, with the dragon scouring the cavern for the little rascal. Most of the time, Tommy was hiding in some dug-out hole in one of Techno’s many piles of treasure, giggling and surrounded by gold. One morning, he had been on Techno’s back, so light and still that it took the dragon nearly two full minutes to notice him. It was only the child’s light snickering that had finally given him away.

As a result, Techno wasn’t surprised to wake up without Tommy at his side. He just hoped that the kid hadn’t fallen asleep in wherever his new hiding spot was. The lack of suppressed laughter always made it much harder to track him down, and Techno wanted to make sure they both ate breakfast.

As the dragon rolled over, he heard Tommy’s voice by the entrance. Still half-asleep, he tried to make out what the kid was saying.

“... of here,” Tommy’s little voice said. Something about his tone made Techno pause. It was the same cadence the child had used on that very first day, dagger in hand, as he tried to intimidate a dragon. “This is my quest.”

“Be quiet!” a second voice hissed. Techno shot to attention immediately, straining his ears towards the intruder’s voice. “Prime, as though this wasn’t hard enough already. I’m not having you fuck this up for me!”

Techno pushed himself up, moving quickly towards the tunnel that led to the exit of the cavern. Something deep in the back of his mind urged him to protect, and he had no desire to protest the feeling.

“I’m not letting you hurt him!” Tommy said, voice rising slightly, “Get the fuck away from us!”

Techno turned the corner just in time to see Tommy’s tiny body get slammed against the wall of the cave, falling half-limp onto the floor.

“Go home, kid,” the man growled, eyes locked on the child in front of him with some cruel sort of anger. “No one wants you here.”

Fury, raw and deep and instinctual, flooded through Techno. With a rage he had never wielded before, he grabbed the intruder between his jaws, crushing and shaking him with all his strength. Then, as the man’s screaming body was ripped in half, he flung the pieces against the wall, opposite of Tommy.

Tommy. Tommy was shaking, blood leaking from his head and tears leaking from his eyes. The child looked terrified, arms desperately trying to cover his face.

Technoblade had scared him. In protecting the child, he had ruined everything.

“Tommy,” he said, “I’m so sorry that you—”

Tommy’s eyes shot open, looking at Techno in shock. Then, without hesitation, he threw himself at the dragon, wrapping Techno in the biggest hug his little arms could manage.

“He didn’t—” Tommy asked, still crying, “He didn’t hurt you?”

“No,” Techno said, maneuvering the two of them slightly further into the den so that Tommy couldn’t see the bloody remains, “No of course not. There’s not a scratch on me.”

Tommy burst out into renewed tears. “I thought he was going to slay you!”

“He never stood a chance against me,” Techno promised, “Technoblade never dies.”

Tommy sobbed into Techno’s scales. For the first time in his immortal life, the dragon wished he could be human so that he could hold Tommy a little closer.

“It’s okay,” Techno whispered, wrapping his body around the child, “He can’t hurt you anymore. He’ll never hurt you again.”

“I don’t—” Tommy wept, hugging Techno a bit tighter, “I don’t care if he hurts me.”

Techno didn’t like that answer at all. No one should hurt Tommy. No one should even touch him without giving him the love and respect he deserved, and the boy should certainly care about people being cruel to him. But the two of them could work though that later. Right now, Techno needed to figure out what was making his wonderful boy so upset.

“Then why are you crying?” Techno asked, trying to keep his voice as gentle as possible. It was a bit difficult, with how deep and bellowing it had the tendency to be.

“He told me to go home,” Tommy whispered, lip quivering, “But I don’t have a home. I can’t— I don’t want to leave.”

Techno was stunned silent for a moment. Tommy took it as his cue to continue.

“And— And I know I was supposed to fight you, but if you get killed, then they’ll take your gold and your stuff and your cave will be empty and—” Tommy was starting to hyperventilate, “You wo— You won’t be here anymore! And then— then— no one will be nice to me ever again!”

Techno pulled Tommy tighter, pressing his head into the boy’s chest. Without hesitating, the child clutched him back, arms not reaching even halfway around the dragon’s snout.

“This is your home,” Techno promised, “I’m not going to let anyone hurt either of us. Never. You will always be safe here.”

“Really?” Tommy asked, no small bit of wonder in his voice, “I can stay? You won’t make me leave?”

How dare the world hurt Tommy like this. How dare it make him think that he wasn’t worth keeping, that he wasn’t the most valuable thing Techno had ever had the honor of seeing.

Some deep, parental part of Techno's instincts pushed its way up to the front of his mind, clouding everything. He needed to comfort his boy, all else be damned. He needed to let Tommy know how loved he was.

“You are more precious than any item in my hoard. You are worth more than all the gold in the world. I will never stop protecting you. Little child. Little treasure. Anything you ask for, it’s yours. Anything at all.”

Tommy gasped slightly at that, small and light. “Anything?”

Techno pressed his forehead against Tommy's. “Anything.”

“Then…” Tommy said softly, as though he was afraid to ask it, “... could you be my family? I've never had one before.”

“Of course,” Techno said, trying to keep his voice as firm and stable as possible. The sheer fondness he felt threatened to overwhelm him.

Tommy laughed, tears still crusted to his face. Techno had never heard a more wonderful sound in all his years of living.

“You can be my big brother!” Tommy said, sounding absolutely beside himself with delight, “and I can stay here!”

“Forever,” Techno swore, head foggy with adoration, “Forever.”

 


 

Several summers had passed since Tommy first stumbled into Techno’s den. Knights rarely ventured up anymore, especially since Techno had taken a quick flight down to the village to burn the mayor’s house with him inside. As it turned out, once no one was offering a bounty anymore, there weren’t very many volunteers willing to slay a dragon. Why bother with a suicide mission when Techno rarely came within a few miles of town anyway?

That’s why it was so surprising to see yet another knight standing in the den, covered in enchanted armor, no less. It had been at least three years since anyone had bothered trying.

Techno bit back a frown. He’d really prefer not to kill anyone in front of Tommy today. 

The kid in question, now a teenager, was hidden behind Techno’s massive body, looking quite frustrated that he wasn’t allowed to help fight the intruder.

“What are you doing in my den?” Techno growled, raising his wings.

The knight did not seem intimidated. “I’m here to slay you.”

“I’ve committed no crimes,” Techno insisted, voice shifting to a hiss, “When have I ever wronged your people?”

“The folks down in the village told me that you burned part of their town down once,” the knight said, “They said you even killed a kid who wandered up here.”

“Fuck you!” Tommy said, peeking out from behind Techno, “He didn’t kill me! I’m unkillable, bitch!”

“Tommy,” Techno hissed, trying to push the boy back to safety, but in the past few years, the teen had gotten very good at slipping past Techno’s massive limbs. 

The knight looked stunned at Tommy’s sudden appearance, blinking as though he didn’t quite believe it.

“What the fuck are you doing here, mate?” he asked, clearly bewildered.

“I fucking live here, dickhead!” Tommy said, sidestepping another one of Techno’s gentle attempts to pull him away, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I—” the knight was getting more confused by the second, “I’m trying to… slay the dragon?”

“Well, maybe you should try getting the fuck away from us!” Tommy shouted, pulling out his sword.

That was too much for Techno. “No, no,” he said, finally managing to pull Tommy back with his tail, “You are not fighting a trained knight. That is not what you’re about to do.”

Tommy pouted. “But he wants to hurt you! He’s a real wrong’un!”

“I can handle this, Tommy,” Techno insisted, wrapping his tail tighter around the boy. Tommy started banging his fists against the dragon’s scales, but there was no real malice behind the action. Just boyish annoyance.

“Are you in danger?” the knight asked. Tommy scowled at him.

“This overgrown lizard can’t do shit to me!” Tommy insisted, still struggling, “I’m the greatest fighter in the world, and I’m not letting some silly-looking knight hurt me or my brother!”

“Tommy,” Techno growled, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry. He was a bit annoyed, sure, but he mostly just felt overwhelmingly fond. His brother, his child, his treasure was being so protective of him. Just as he should be.

If the knight had looked confused before, it was nothing compared to his current expression. “That dragon is your brother?”

“His name is Technoblade!” Tommy shouted, almost managing to squirm out of Techno’s grasp. To stop him, Techno pulled his tail closer and lowered his chin on top of Tommy, effectively squishing him into place. Tommy shrieked, carefully positioning his sword so it wouldn’t prod Techno.

“Let go of me!” Tommy shouted. Techno couldn’t see his face, but he could imagine the miserable expression his little brother was making. “I’m trying to defend you, dickhead!”

Techno tried to respond, but there was something a little foggy about his mind at the moment. He wanted Tommy close. He wanted Tommy safe. 

If that knight took a single step towards his child, he was going to bite the man’s head off, enchanted armor be damned.

“Are you sure you're okay?” the knight asked, genuine concern painting his face as he stared at Tommy’s predicament, “Do you need help getting out of there?”

Tommy huffed. “I said I'm fine. He gets stupid levels of protective when he thinks I’m in danger.”

“Danger—!” The knight exclaimed, “No, I— I’m not going to hurt you! I came up here to slay the dragon! I genuinely didn’t even know you were here.”

Techno opened his eyes and growled. The knight took a nervous step back.

“Well, I’m not going to let you slay anybody!” Tommy said. It probably would have been a more convincing statement if he wasn’t getting smushed under a giant dragon. “Especially not Techno!”

The knight looked very conflicted. “The villagers told me that he killed their mayor.”

Tommy scoffed. “Yeah, like seven years ago! And he wouldn’t have done that if that bastard hadn’t kept sending people up to kill him!”

“They said he killed a kid,” the knight continued.

Tommy laughed. “This softie couldn’t kill me even if he tried! He gets upset when I skin my knees!”

The knight seemed to be coming to some kind of conclusion. “Right. I think… I think I might have gotten some bad information.”

“Techno only kills people who try to kill us first. If everyone would just leave us alone, he wouldn’t have to fight anybody.”

Techno hummed, nuzzling his head against Tommy’s body.

“Ugh, you’re the worst,” Tommy said, reaching around awkwardly to pat Techno’s snout. The dragon flared his nostrils at that, savoring the gentle touch. Tommy let out a put-upon sigh, turning his attention back towards the knight. “You’re lucky he didn’t register you as a real threat. Now he’s just going to be broody and clingy for the rest of the day.”

“As opposed to what?” the knight asked.

“Oh, you know. All blood-hungry, with the breathing fire and stuff. I don’t really know. He doesn’t like killing knights in front of me.”

The knight’s face dropped, all color rushing from it. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said, shifting his body slightly to get more comfortable. “Since you’re not trying to kill us, you can show yourself out, if you want.”

“No, I…” the knight said slowly, “I think I’d be more comfortable staying here. Just until he lets you go.”

Tommy laughed. “He’s not going to eat me, if that’s what you’re scared of. Trust me. When I was little, sometimes I would crawl into his mouth.”

“That’s not quite it,” the knight said, looking a little put off by Tommy’s endearing childhood story, “I’ve just got some questions to ask him. If he’s really like you say, then I don’t want anyone else coming up here with the wrong idea.”

“Oh!” Tommy said, “Okay then. Make yourself comfortable, I guess.”

Through half-lidded eyes, Techno watched the knight nod, sitting himself down on a large rock. It was a smart move. Techno might have thrown him against the wall for touching any part of his hoard.

“I’m Tommy!” Tommy said, sounding very excited to have someone new to talk to.

The knight smiled. “Hello, Tommy,” he responded, taking off his helmet to reveal a mess of blond hair. “My name’s Philza.”

Notes:

Tommy: "I am going to murder you!"
Techno: "Where the fuck are your parents?"

If anyone is wondering about Wilbur, let's just assume he's off being a bard somewhere. I'm sure his father, the legendary adventurer "Philza," will introduce him to Techno and Tommy eventually.

If you missed the note at the beginning, this fic was loosely inspired by this sircantus tweet. If you're the only SBI AO3 reader alive who hasn't read his work yet, do check it out! It's fantastic. I hadn't published a one-shot in a while, so I'm glad that a small piece of inspiration managed to strike me!

Title is stolen from the song "Golden" by Hippo Campus! Don't read too much into the song's lyrics, I just liked the line.

Anyway check out my Twitter. I'm going to have some relevant polls on there soon. Or leave a comment! I use them to sustain my eternal youth.

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