Chapter Text
“Don’t you get closer to my little brother again”
Black sealed their secret when he said those words, he knew. Sean could have all the evidence in the world, but without one of them saying something, he could never be sure. But now he had it all, the confirmation that yes, there was more than one person being Black and no, he wasn’t in love with Black. Thank God for that.
He could see the relief in Sean’s eyes, all the puzzle pieces coming together in his brain.
“There’s no way you can stop me” Sean answered. “I won’t stay away from him”
And Black believed. He didn’t like it, but it’s not like he could really keep White and Sean apart forever. So, he just stopped fighting. Relaxing his arms, feeling the ground on his back and the pain on his face, he closed his eyes.
Sean must have felt that because he let go of Black’s clothes, also starting to feel dizzy and lay on the floor, just keeping their hands close because of the handcuffs.
“When will you let me fucking go? My hands are getting sore” Black mumbled, hitting Sean on the arm just to feel him hit back.
“Mine too asshole, let me get the key”
They both sited on the ground, now with the adrenaline going down, they started to feel all the punches on their faces and bodies.
“Wait, how the fuck did you find those handcuffs?” Black asked. “Do you carry handcuffs everywhere just for shit and giggles?”
Sean looks at him like he wants to punch him. He couldn’t be happier that the feeling was mutual.
“Yok’s guy is a cop dumbass, I found those on the side when I walked in”
“Oh yeah, talking about that” Black faces Sean and gives a good slap on his neck, letting all the force he could, and nothing satisfied him more than the sound that it made. “Who fucking lets a cop in an illegal group? Are you fucking crazy? I though you were always against cops and now you’re letting one in our plans?”
“Our plans?” Even with all the frustration, Sean finds funny enough to laugh. “Do you even know what we were doing these past weeks? You were GONE Black! Your twin was here, not you. This isn’t your plan, it’s mine. And I don’t want you in it.”
Black don’t consider Sean a friend, never though of them as a anything more than work buddies of some sort. And don’t get him wrong, he still doesn’t. But it stings, more than he is willing to admit to Sean and to himself. To him, the gang was the only thing he thought he was making a difference, a good one. The good he saw he could finally do.
White was always the good twin, the kind, polite, loving twin. Black was the bad one, the troublemaker, rude, and crazy twin. Black knew that, he heard from everyone.
Teachers.
“White did his homework, why didn’t you?”
“White is a pleasure to have in class, his twin however…”
“Black please try to learn a little from White”
“How you two are related? He’s so polite”
Friends.
“Your brother is so sweet! You two are nothing alike”
“White wouldn’t treated me like this”
“All the good qualities went to White, right?”
Parents.
“Do the same as White”
“Please take White as a model”
“White did that, why can’t you?”
Now Sean.
“Now I’m sure the one I’ve known lately isn’t you. But he’s someone better”
Fucking Sean.
Black is just trying to save the good thing in his live. Nothing that has to do with Black was good, he should have known by now. White has been in the gang for maybe a few weeks, but he could see the difference, he could see the impact, the real impact, that White’s work was doing.
Maybe Black don’t deserve to do good things because he’s not a good person, nothing good can come from him.
Maybe now he can admit to himself that he’s doing all this because he wants to feel like a good person, that he doesn’t want to feel like the failure his mom tells him he is.
They don’t want him here, they want White, because of course, who wants the bad twin when you have a teste of the good one.
White could make Sean feel happy, loved, and not alone.
White would understand and try to trust Yok’s guy, just because he knows it’s important to Yok.
White wasn’t fucking in love with Gram, which was good because he knew Gram didn’t like him back.
White would show to Gumpa how he adores him, because Gumpa deserve all the love for putting up with them.
It’s him the problem, isn’t?
It’s always him.
“And I didn’t let Yok do shit. You know no one controls that guy.” Sean finishes and finally let their hands off the handcuffs.
Black didn’t say anything, he could still feel his heart heavy, his head with too many dark thoughts. He’s afraid Sean would look at him and know that he hit a nerve, a really bad one, and try again.
“Black?” Sean lays a hand on his shoulder. “Can you say something to your brother?”
“You’re pushing your luck here Sean”
“I know, I just...” Sean didn’t look at him in the eyes, his focus on his feet’s, “want to see him again and talk, for real this time.”
Black sighed, he just couldn’t catch a break.
“Okay”, Sean looked at him surprise. “What? It’s not like I can keep you two apart forever. I don’t like it, but I guess it’s better to know he’s with someone who I know can protect him.”
Black took advantage that Sean was too stunned to answer and decide to give the final blow before he goes away.
“And I guess I should thank you for protecting him when I couldn’t”
And with that, Black was out the door without looking back.
He passes de others without a word and just go for his bike on the outside. It’s their plan, he’s not included so it’s better he stays away.
That way Sean’s plan has a chance to make a difference.
.
Finding White wasn’t difficult, the boy was terrible at hiding. Black found him in a park, a few streets from where his apartment was.
They sat on silence beside each other, just enjoying the company that they both missed in those 10 years.
“Sean wants to see you. And talk.”
Black winced, that was a bad way to start.
“He knows about you. That you’re my bother”
Without looking at White, he could feel the relief coming in waves of him. Black tries relaxing his face so his smile wouldn’t be seen.
“He still wants to see me?”
“I guess”
His bother was smiling at him, ear to ear, his glassed too big for his face. He looked happy. Black could not like Sean, but he liked the person White was with him, a happy and in love little bother.
Black could never really be angry at White, even when they were kids. He tried to protect White, the good of them. He figures that if someone were to get hurt and in trouble, should be Black, so he never holds back going for anyone who hurt White.
Some people maybe would have gone crazy and hold grudge with all the things people said about him, but he couldn’t feel noting more than pure love and appreciation for White. He was the only person who put up with him and loved him, and even after 10 years, that didn’t change.
And looking at White smile now Black really couldn’t understand how he survived 10 years without him. White is the part of him that he loves, the one thing he feels like he didn’t screw up.
“He punched you, didn’t he?” White laughed. “I could feel it.”
“You could say he was not happy”
“You deserved it”
“I know”
They stayed in silence for a while, just looking at each other, absorbing all the details they missed in those years.
“You know I still want you to stay safe, right? And that means staying away from the gang”
“It’s not up to you”
“I’m your older brother”
“Just for 3 minutes”
“The best 3 minutes of my life”
They laughed a little, their old habits of teasing each other coming in full force. Your bother could be away from you, but having a bother will always stay with you.
Black sighed deeply, trying to let all the fear and anxiety out of his body so he could think rationally.
“Okay. I still don’t want you out on the field on our plans” Black almost laughed at White’s face, finding amusing his surprise. “You can participate in the plans and help, but no fighting or guns for you”
“Gumpa is helping me fight”
“And I’m sure he is doing an amazing job, but it’s still a no” Blacks replied. “And don’t pout at me, you know that doesn’t work”
“It used to work” White pouted harder, and it made Black laugh because it was weird seeing your face do these expressions.
“If you agreed, I would let you out on field more if you prove to me you’re up to” Black promised, because even if he didn’t want to admit, the pout still works. “Agree?”
White jumped from where he was sited, smile bigger than ever, eyes sparkling with happiness.
Black missed him so much.
“Yes! I agree”
“Great. Now let’s go to my apartment, you’re staying there with me”
.
The day after, Black was on his bed, going through his phone when he heard the door opening and closing. Because he was living with only one person, he quickly called White’s name without an answer. Feeling somethings weird, he gets up and follow the sound.
White is on his knees in front of the door, his glasses on the floor and a hand supporting his weigh. Black approached slowly and saw that White’s shoulders were trembling, he could hear sobs that was rocking the body.
“White? What happened?” Black embraced his bother keeping his face on his shoulder and touching his hair. “You’re hurt?”
Black felt White giving a negative nod in his should but didn’t answer anymore. They stayed in that position for a while, Black giving White pats on his head trying to console him, and after some minutes the sobs stopped.
“You said he wanted to talk, to see me”
Black was confused.
“Sean don’t want to see me again”
Oh.
Black doesn’t know if he is the best person to give some advice on this matter. He doesn’t like Sean and he’s been in love with his best friend for years now. His answer could probably make things worse.
But White looked after him for comfort, so damn him if he doesn’t show his brother some love that he needs.
“He did say that. Why? I though things were better now that he knows”
“I though so too” White sniffed, and Black could feel his heart hurt a little for his bother. “But he saw me, and I was so afraid, so I just ran”
“You ran?”
“Don’t judge me” White whined. “He caught me by surprise, I wasn’t ready, so I ran”
“And let me guess, he followed you”
“Of course, he did” Black adjusted their position se he was sitting more comfortably with his brother in his lap and let White finished. “And he was so mad p’, he said he didn’t want to see my face again”
Black tried to not let the anger take over, he could understand why Sean would be sad and angry, but it was hard when it was his baby bother sniffing on his embrace.
“Hey White, look at me” Holding his bother cheeks in his hands, Black looked inside the other eyes, already regretting what he was going to say. “I’m pretty sure he’s just angry, you know how Sean is, anger problems and all.”
“And I like him like that”. White cried and Black dried his tears with his finger now smiling at his younger brother.
“And you like him like that, I know”
Black guessed he could help the two of them, a little. He was doing just for White of course, and if being with Sean was what his brother wanted so as bigger brother, he could not say no.
“Look I’m going to talk to him”. Black smiled at the horror that passes in White’s faces. “Relax, I’m just going to try to explain to him some things. Not going to lie, we are probably going to fight, fist and everything, but it’s our way to talk.”
Whites was still looking suspicious.
“Yeah okay, I fucked up when I went to talk to him the first time, I admit it. Shouldn’t have hit him so hard or kick him. It’s just, it was not the first thing I wanted to see when I waked up, okay? My younger brother that I missed for 10 years and the guy who I despised eating each other”
“We were kissing! Jesus!”
“Jesus was very far away from you two at that point”
“BLACK”
White was laughing so hard Black could feel it his body shaking on his, the glasses almost falling of his face. They laughed a little more, giggles scaping here and there, smiles on both faces.
“When you smile like that, we really do look really identical” White poked his cheek with his finger.
“I’m glad I don’t then”
“Bitch”
“Dickhead”
After a while they got up the floor, butts tingling and numb legs, helping each other to stabilize on their own.
“Okay, so I’m going to talk to Sean. You stay here. If everything goes well, I will send him here, if not, I will kill him, and you will never have to see him again”
“I hope it goes well then”
“Me too”. Blacks smirked and winked at White. “Getting rid off a body is always so much work”
.
Black stooped his bike outside the garage, seeing that Sean’s own bike was there was well. Getting off the bike and getting closer, he could hear something smashing against the boking bag. So, Sean was sparing. Great.
He goes in slowly, not making much noise, but Sean still turned before he could get closer. He stops the boking and just stay there, looking at him.
“I thought I said I didn’t want to see you again”
“Wow, if this is the way you were talking to my little brother, your face is going to be the next boking bag.” Black closed his arms around himself. “White uses fucking glasses and nice clothes asshole. Damn, how did he fall for you?”
“Black” A better look at him after after confirmed the answer, then Sean finally looks at him. “Wait- White?”
“Yes, his name”
Sean repeats the name sometimes for himself, trying in his tong. Black was going to admit, he was pretty disgusted with these two. Sean stayed quiet for some time before he snorts.
“Black and White” He laughs right at Black’s face. “Your parents were terrible at names”
“You tell me”. He scoffed. “People didn’t really tell me in my face this, but I knew they always find it funny when we say it”
Black used to hate his name. Used to think that seems like his fate was made even before birth, that he was always supposed to be the bad twin and White the good one. People laughed at their faces when they were kids. It was a mess, he hated it.
But he got used to it.
Now he likes it, because for him, it represents White. Just like the colors, they are opposites and always together.
Glad that was out of the way, Black wanted to go to the real reason he went there. He got closer, waiting for Sean to look at him, and when he did, anger filled him.
“So, can you imagine my surprise when White came home crying because a fucking asshole, the same fucking one that told me he wouldn’t give up on him, told him to fuck off? I don’t think you can, I was really surprised, that’s for sure”. Black says it, he knew how to be intimidating without raising his voice.
“I didn’t tell him to fuck off” Sean looked away and tried to continue his boking training., but before he could Black was on him and taking him to the ground. “Fuck-”
“You pretty much did Sean!” And there goes the first hit, right on Sean’s jaw. “You told me you wouldn’t give up on him, jackass! You said you wanted to talk and see him! I fucking told him that!”
Blacks was breathing really loud; he could feel himself shaking with adrenaline. He still had Sean’s shirt on his hands, his hands being grabbed by the man. He could see a bruise already forming on the other jaw, and Black felt a little proud of himself.
“I told him you wanted to see him, Sean. He was so happy!” Black got closer, getting angrier. “What the fuck happened?”
“I was angry!”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Black was really losing it there, his only thoughts were his brother, crying for him.
“He deserves better!” Sean screamed, and after says a little lower. “He doesn’t deserve this life, with us. I saw him with all his expansive clothes, glasses, and shit, and it hit me. I can’t give him what he needs. The life he deserves.”
Black couldn’t manage to stay angry anymore. His line of thought used to be really similar to that. Trying to stay way from his brother, to protect him, it’s all he could think. But not anymore.
White could make his own choices; he didn’t need anyone making his decision for him. Being soft and emotional was not weak, he was the strongest person Black knew. It took time but he could see it now.
“That was my same thought when I kissed you and kicked you” Sean winced. “Was I right to do it?”
“That’s-”
“Was I RIGHT to do it, Sean?”
“No”
“Yeah, and who the fuck are you to say what he deserves and what he needs? White’s can choose the life he wants for him you dick.” Black pushed Sean on the ground and sit in front of him. “All he needs right now is you, Sean. Even if I hate that.”
“You’re okay with us dating?” Sean asked surprised.
“Kiss in front of me and you’re dead”
Sean finally smiled making Black hold a smile of his own. He was doing this for White.
“Just saying. White knows how to take care of himself, he’s not stupid. He has two of us to protect him and we both can have our backs because he will be there. He’s still my brother, there’s not a single bone in that body that’s weak”
Black would always be proud of his brother. And he could see Sean was starting to understand and adjusting, just like he has. He could see that Sean wanted this just like White and to breaking the silence, he teases Sean.
“I’m just never letting you forget that you feel for someone with the same face as me”. Black smirked again. “For that logic, you think I’m hot”
“Personality matter and yours sucks”
“You must have been so relief to know it was not me”
“You have no idea; I was going crazy”
Black let himself laugh a little, getting up and going to the back of garage where he knew Gram was.
“You can go find him in my apartment” Black looked over his shoulder. “I mean if that’s what you want. He’s waiting for you. Talk to him.”
And walked way to find Gram.