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As cliché as it sounded, he had never had any friends. His family, for as long as he had remembered, treated him like the runt of the litter; the outcast. He could never measure up to his more outgoing, athletically-inclined brothers. While they ran around outside, throwing their football around, he stayed indoors doodling or making crafts by the window. His mother didn’t exactly approve of his antisocial lifestyle, but it seemed there was nothing that could be done to make him into the son she wanted—he knew that, too.
As he grew into an adult, he realized that he could make something of himself. He had an idea; a wonderful idea for an invention that could—and would, with enough luck, bring him hundreds, thousands, millions of friends. Well, customers, but he didn’t really know the difference. At school, people only seemed to pay attention to him when he could offer them something: answers off the homework, an extra pencil, his ham sandwich that had too much mustard on it for his liking.
So, when he set off to the big city, homesick was the last thing he was feeling. He brought everything he needed: clothes, toothbrush, guitar. He had enough money for a couple months’ rent in a small studio apartment and not much else. He was surprised to have even gotten that much out of his parents, who clearly didn’t expect anything to come of this little adventure.
While he waited to get his project off the ground, he stood on street corners and performed little ditties of his own making; he hoped maybe some big investor would pass by and give him the opportunity to present what his real passion was: the thneed.
The days…the days were fine. The city was lively and he had an easy enough time finding something to do. But the nights were so lonely. Out in the country it was dark and quiet. Here, light shone through his blinds all hours of the night, and the sound of heavy machinery and car horns assaulted his eardrums just as he thought he was about to drift off. You would think all this stimulation would make it impossible to feel lonely. There were inescapable signs of life everywhere, but all this life around him did nothing but remind him how alien he felt here. How afraid he was. How confusing it all was. He wasn’t used to living on his own, he wasn’t used to the busy streets, the lights, sounds, people.
There was one good thing about living on his own, though. When everything got too overwhelming, when he wanted to just pack up his things but was too afraid to go home and face his disappointed family, all he had to do was slide his hand into the waistband of his pajama pants and wait for everything else to fade. He could stroke, and stroke, and feel his smile slowly widen as the skin encircled by his hand grew more taut. He didn’t need anything special, none of the fancy gadgets, just his hand and maybe some of his own saliva was plenty to get his soft giggles and moans started. He pulled the covers over his head when he did it out of habit, like he was still afraid someone might walk in. His hot breath would slowly build up under the blankets until he had to come up for a moment of air, then retreat back to his cave of good feelings and sticky sheets.
As winter became spring, he was walking along the street one warm breezy day; guitar on his back, overpriced breakfast sandwich in his hands, searching for some way to pay this month’s rent. A tattered poster taped to a streetlight gave him pause.
“ARE YOU LONELY? COME SEE US!”
On it was a little graphic of a generic figure shaking hands with another figure, although this one had a dotted outline. Below was an address, a date, and a time. This seemed like exactly what he needed. Well, maybe not exactly; what he needed was to sell his thneeds. But this would help keep him company in the meantime. He wrote the information down in his little notepad he normally used for when creative inspiration struck, before tucking it back in his pocket and going on his way.
* * *
The small paper calendar in his apartment didn’t lie; today was the day he would go to the social club he had seen advertised on the poster. After he had packed up his things for the day and exited the park, he called for a taxi. The taxi took him about ten minutes away, to a part of town he had never been to. It seemed less corporate, more…artsy? Maybe. He thanked the driver, paid, and got out of the car in front of the building. “JOSIE’S METAPHYSICAL STUDIO (and shop)” was painted on a wooden sign out front in colorful, looping letters.
He didn’t even know what “metaphysical” meant. Had the taxi taken him to the wrong address? Unsure, he began to creep toward the door. He was even more confused when, upon walking inside, he found himself met with a staircase and no indication of where he should go other than…up. So, that was what he did. Even if this wasn’t the right place, maybe whoever worked here could direct him to where he needed to go. At the top, he found a wooden door with no markings or signage around it of any kind. Slowly he twisted the handle and pushed, and a little bell rang above his head. Inside, he found a front desk, where a middle-aged blonde woman stood behind the counter doodling. Upon hearing the bell and looking up to see him, she squealed and clapped her hands. “Oh, welcome, welcome! I’m Josie. Are you here for the tulpa workshop?”
“I…” He had no idea what ‘tulpa’ meant. “I must be in the wrong place. I saw an ad for some kind of…” He trailed off, cringing about how sad it would probably sound if he were to explain that he was looking for a friendship group.
Thankfully, she interrupted him before he could. “You mean the posters? Advertising for an easy way to make friends?”
Reluctantly he nodded. This woman spoke a mile a minute; he was starting to wonder if she was on something. Now that he thought about it, this place smelled heavily of something he didn’t recognize. It was…sweet, but smokey.
“Perfect! Right this way,” the woman cheered, taking him by the arm and leading him into a comfortable-looking room with couches and mats on the floor. A couple people were already there, including a small group of young people who were giggling and whispering to each other, a man with an eyepatch wearing all yellow, and a short man who looked like he came in his pajamas. Everyone seemed exceptionally happy to be here. He didn’t know if that relieved him or unnerved him.
“Okay everybody, I think we’re ready to get started!” Josie exclaimed as she sat down on the floor. Everyone else followed. “We’ve got a new person with us today,” she continued, “everyone say hi!”
The small group greeted him, and he waved shyly back.
“So my good fellow, what do you know about tulpas?”
“Absolutely nothing,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.
There was a small wave of chuckles throughout the room.
“Well, no worries! We were all beginners once. It’s really simple. First we just want to start you off with learning the basics of meditation. Everyone else, you know where you are in your visualization process; pick back up where you left off, and let me know if you need any help.”
The group agreed, then each closed their eyes as if to concentrate on something. Some were sitting, others laying down. Meanwhile, he could hardly be less relaxed. He truly had no idea what was going on, but was too afraid to ask. Some meditation couldn’t hurt , right? He could probably use some extra relaxation.
Josie got up and turned on a vinyl record player, and strange tones began to resound through the room. It was at this point that he realized just what kind of thing he had gotten himself into. It was the kind of hippy stuff that would have gotten slurs hurled at him at home (well, more than that already occurred, that is) if anyone were to find out about him doing this. Still, he went along with Josie’s instructions to breathe and be in touch with his body and how he was feeling. This went on for an hour or so, before eventually, the record kicked off and everyone seemed to breathe a collective sigh一for everyone else in the room, it was a sigh of peace and relaxation; for him, it was a sigh of relief一before getting up and gathering their things.
“So, how do you feel?” Josie asked.
“I…don’t…know,” he answered truthfully.
Josie laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “That’s great! Come back next week, and things will start to make more sense, okay?” With that, she began chatting with the other people in the group.
Mind clouded with confusion, he left the studio. She hadn’t charged him anything, so…there didn’t seem to be any harm in coming back next week. Still, that was…weird, right? Was this like the big city version of going to church? He shook his head and laughed. At the very least, he had someone to talk to. A group to belong to, no matter how strange it seemed to be.
* * *
Where he was from, everyone seemed to know each other. He recalled many afternoons as a child spent standing next to his mother in the grocery store while she talked to one of her friends for what felt like hours. Just the memory of the sound of her voice was like nails on a chalkboard.
Here on the other hand, running into someone you knew was practically impossible. This was why he was so flabbergasted when Josie appeared at his table in the hole-in-the-wall coffee shop he had begun visiting recently.
“There you are!” the woman’s voice chimed in his ears, alerting him of her presence.
He started choking on his coffee. Josie, seemingly with no sense of boundaries, started patting on his back to help him cough. When he had recovered, he looked up at her and started to speak, before she effectively silenced him.
“I totally forgot, I meant to give you these before you left this week.” She plopped down a small pile of books on the table and winked. “It’s so you can practice at home.”
“Wh-What…”
“Now I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got some important clients this afternoon.” She gave him a knowing smirk, like he was supposed to know what that meant, and was gone as quickly as she came.
The books were…enlightening but baffling. They talked about tulpas, and how to make one, and what would happen once you did. Was that what he and those other people had been doing the other day?
He wasn’t…spiritual, he didn’t think. He had never really thought about it before. But these texts seemed to be asserting the notion that you could create a living, sentient being with your mind. That was what the poster had been talking about, wasn’t it? It wasn’t about making friends, it was about making friends. The idea…was strange, but intriguing. So he kept reading, and doing the exercises that the books instructed. When he wasn’t out marketing his thneeds or playing the guitar, he was in his apartment doing things he previously never would have imagined anyone in their right mind would do. It became a routine; a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes at night of forming his own personal imaginary friend. That was what it was, wasn’t it? Imaginary friends for adults?
After a few more meetings and many more meditation sessions, he had gotten a pretty good idea of the type of tulpa he was striving for. He thought this whole thing might seem a little less sad if he used it as an opportunity to continue his journey of self-betterment. That was the whole reason why he came here, right? Maybe if he was able to visualize, even interact with, his goal, it would get him that much closer to reaching it. That was how he began imagining his tulpa as himself. Not just himself though; this version of him was confident, rich, and carefree. He didn’t need anyone; he got what he wanted when he wanted and was happy with himself and his accomplishments. No one would dare criticize him or judge him.
From there, the development started to come…rather naturally. As much as it made him cringe at first to admit it, it started to feel like his tulpa was gaining a mind of his own. For quite a while, this being was nothing more than an idea, a concept in his imagination. He would playfully doodle him from time to time, but that was the only visualization he had. He noticed though, his depictions began to slowly change. The clothes became more grandiose. The figure became taller and lankier to the point where he drew his joints as sharp angles. He started having thoughts that didn’t quite feel like his own anymore. They weren’t that worrying, just a thought here and there that seemed out of character for him. Little thoughts insulting random people on the street or complimenting his appearance in the mirror. He tried to talk back to that little voice, but never got a direct response.
He really knew he had done something right when his tulpa started showing up in his dreams. That usually happened when he would fall asleep while laying in bed imagining him, which happened often. The dreams were…interesting. Sitting at a park with his tulpa, in a dark room with his tulpa, in a tent with his tulpa, in bed with his tulpa. The dreams didn’t seem to have much in the realm of plot or context; in fact, he couldn’t recall ever exchanging words with his tulpa. They were more like…an isolated moment, frozen in time. Still, they felt incredibly vivid, to the point where there were many days when he would wake up and be surprised he had been dreaming.
When he told Josie about this, she seemed incredibly pleased. Though he left out the part where, more often than not, he’d wake up from these dreams with a raging hard-on. That part was especially confusing to him. He was probably just excited that this was working so well, he supposed. Sure, he knew he was gay, but…this was himself. And, frankly, he kind of hated himself. That was all there was to it. So he tried not to think about it beyond that, and to take cold showers before he started his day.
* * *
Sure enough, manifesting himself as…better than his current self seemed to be helping him in his quest to be successful. The voice of himself (though slightly more gravelly) would counsel him in his head, not only about his business ventures but about how to advance in his own creation. He never bothered to wonder how exactly this version of himself knew these things if he didn’t. He was too busy enjoying the companionship, since they had started being able to actually converse.
“Hey, what should I call you anyway? Since you’re me and all.”
"Do you have to call me anything?"
“Well, it just seems like we need to have some way to tell the difference between us, you know?”
“I can tell the difference just fine.”
“Okay, that was uncalled for.”
“Who said I was trying to insult you?”
“...How about Green?”
“What?”
“Like, your name. You seem to really like the color, so I thought maybe-”
“That’s fucking stupid. I’m not gonna be named Green. Who’s named Green?”
“...You?”
“Greed. I like that better. More professional. More intimidating.”
“I mean, sure, I guess. But I’m not trying to be greedy.”
“Too bad bitch. It’s better than your idea.”
“Alright fine. Greed it is.”
Eventually, he had reached a point where he was always either picturing Greed in his head or speaking to him, if not both. That made the transition between having to close his eyes and concentrate to being able to see Greed with his eyes open fairly smooth. He noticed it getting easier and easier to visualize him, and then suddenly, he was just kind of there. Almost like he was now existing of his own volition.
When he started to move was when it got even more interesting. Greed had this particular way of gesticulating, of throwing his body around with such overdramatic passion and fervor when he spoke that was so unlike his creator. They were so completely different from one another, he never got bored of being around Greed.
His dreams with Greed started becoming more like dreams and less like snapshots. They could move around, talk, do whatever they wanted to. Being able to talk to Greed aloud and not worry about the judgment of others was incredibly freeing for him.
“We could do whatever we want in here, you know.” It was more like a statement than a question.
“I mean, yeah, I guess. It’s a dream.”
“Yeah, and I can touch you in a dream.”
Comments like that started getting more and more frequent, while the smirk Greed gave him when he made them became more and more obvious. He had to admit, Greed was a little scary sometimes. He would get so close, and he had those claws, and sharp teeth. Had he given him those? Why would he have done that? He knew Greed could hear his thoughts, but Greed never bothered to answer his questions or engage with his comments aside from the little giggle he would hear on occasion.
Despite the statements about being able to touch him, Greed had never actually proved it because he had never asked him to. Still, he almost wished Greed would, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. One night they were happily walking and talking while navigating a hedge maze, and he reached out and took hold of Greed’s arm before he could talk himself out of it. Greed immediately stopped, turning to him.
“It’s about time.” Greed’s green silk gloves grabbed him by the hips with strength so tangible it had him throwing the covers off and leaving the world of sleep. The glint of teeth in the moonlight still lingered in his head.
He had no idea what that was, or why his heart was beating so fast, or…why he was hard again. Maybe he needed to go to the doctor. He’d have to conveniently leave out that this always happened when he met with a creepy domineering version of himself in his dream realm. Wow, putting it like that…he started to chuckle at himself. Was he going crazy?
Greed chuckled too, laying on his stomach at the end of the bed with his chin cradled on the backs of his hands. He jumped, pulling his knees up to hide his erection.
“Ugh, get out of here. You’re the last person I want to see right now,” he muttered, looking away.
“Oh, don’t play coy with me. I know you know…what’s going on here. I mean, look at you.”
“Shut up. This is just…morning wood. I would never-”
Greed looked toward the window, then he looked too. It was still dark out. Their eyes met again. Greed grinned, and started crawling up the bed until Greed’s arms were on either side of his body and his face was looming over his own. He could smell expensive cologne and cigars with Greed up this close. Greed tilted his head to the side slightly. “You were saying?”
He gulped, feeling blood pulsate through his most sensitive region, having lost all nerve to speak.
“...Go back to bed.”
And with that, Greed ceased to exist. For the time being, that was. He knew Greed would be back. And he was, with a vengeance.
It happened during one of the meetings at Josie’s studio. He had started to dread them in a certain way, because of the taunting demeanor Greed had taken on as of late. So when he began to conjure up his tulpa, and instead of being met with Greed’s visage he was met with the feeling of a hand in his pants, he felt a lump form in his throat.
“Don’t.”
“Hm?” The hand began pressing up against his underwear in just the way he liked, and the horrific realization dawned on him: Greed knew exactly what he liked.
“Do. Fucking. Not.”
“Don’t what? This?” The hand squeezed his balls gently and he instinctively threw his head back. Tufts of his hair fell across his screwed-shut eyes.
“Everything okay there, pal?” Josie asked.
“Yep, all good over here!” he managed to muster, pressing his thighs together desperately.
“Nice job. We’ll see how you do when you’re cumming in your jeans, huh?”
“ABSOLUTELY. FUCKING. NOT.”
Despite the threatening aura he felt from Greed, the grip on his genitals lessened. “What are you gonna do about it then?”
“L-Listen okay, this is not a productive business relationship-”
“Oh, I think we’re way past that.”
The all-too-tangible grip his tulpa had on him turned into gentle caresses up and down his hardening shaft, and he had to bite back a moan. It felt…ridiculously good, being touched there by someone else.
“You can’t keep holding back on me like this. Remember the books you read? I have needs too,” Greed practically hissed in his ear, and he could even feel his breath despite not being able to see him.
“Yeah, but the books also said most tulpas aren’t like you.”
He began to feel a cool tongue licking his tip with malicious intent, and covered his mouth with his hand as he felt himself already getting close to orgasm from the combination of the surprise, his virginity, and the humiliation of this happening in public. “You took that chance when you made me, darling. Now enjoy the blue balls~”
With that, all sensation melted away and left his dick hot and aching. The fires of combined anger and arousal licked at his very being. He wanted to strangle himself.
“D-Do you have a bathroom, Josie?” he squeaked, thankful his jeans were so tight that there wasn’t much room for a tent to be pitched.
“Sure thing! Right around the corner hon.”
“Thank you!” He waddled away, and shamefully pumped himself to climax in the (thankfully) private bathroom before wiping himself off with cheap toilet paper.
Looking at his flushed face in the mirror, he shuddered from a combination of the cool breath on his neck and the feeling of resentment that this was what his life had come to.
* * *
Greed knew he wanted him, and as much as it horrified him to admit it, he knew he wanted Greed too. It only got worse when Greed started whispering sweet nothings to him when he would touch himself at night. Sometimes he would feel little caresses across his body from a silk glove that would disappear right before they reached his core. It drove him fucking insane.
“Greed…Greed…” he would pant, only to find his tulpa mysteriously absent.
If Greed had repeatedly teased him and taunted him, why was he not there when he was begging for his touch? This just seemed to be part of the game Greed was constantly playing with him. He couldn’t usually bring himself to mention this to the green-suited man whenever they were going about their daily business together. Even if he did, Greed always managed to steer the subject away from his seduction and lack of consummation. Maybe that was for the best, he thought.
He had almost brought himself to getting over that strange time in his and Greed’s relationship by the time he had managed to patent his thneed and sign on with a producer. Greed helped him every step of the way, like a perfectly normal friend and business partner, as if nothing had ever happened. The only hint he might have received that something was amiss was the occasional smirk he would see on Greed out of the corner of his eye.
One night after he and some of the other entrepreneurs and businesspeople he had started to rub elbows with had gone out to a high-class dinner, he stumbled into his apartment half-drunk. Moving boxes still littered the ground from recently moving into this new, bigger apartment, so he had to push them out of the way with his feet to get to his bedroom.
“Are you ready~?” The voice of Greed, more delicate and seductive than his normal brash tone, floated through the room and into his ear.
“Huh? Ready for what?” He really hadn’t drank that much, but wow was he feeling it.
He sunk into bed, brushing hair out of his face and beginning to untie his bowtie. Before he had time to contemplate taking a shower Greed materialized straddling him, smirking deviously beneath the brim of his top hat. The feeling of the tulpa’s weight on top of him seemed to bring him back to reality一at least to a certain extent. “You did it, baby. You earned this.”
With no other word of warning or explanation, Greed had swept him up in his grasp and was kissing him with a heat and passion that still felt featherlight. His mind still buzzed slightly from the intoxication, which made it easy to accept the kiss with his hands sliding onto Greed’s waist. The fabric of his coat felt so real, his body so tangible. He didn’t have it in him to analyze how that could be the case, he just knew it felt good when Greed started grinding their pelvises together and almost growling into his ear. When their lips met again he felt a cool, pointed tongue slip into his mouth as Greed expertly moved their bodies and lips in a rhythm that had him whimpering into Greed’s mouth. His hands felt up Greed’s back until one of them was taking his hat off of his head and dropping it into the floor.
“Be careful with that, it’s designer.” Still, Greed let out a purr when he started running his fingers through Greed’s hair.
They resumed their kissing as Greed began to unbutton the other’s shirt and pull it off of him with more grace than he might have expected from his tulpa. This was far from the forceful, uncaring Greed he usually had to deal with in their everyday life. The feeling of Greed’s gloved thumbs gently circling his nipples had him gasping. Greed hummed with satisfaction and began nibbling on his neck. He was reminded of how sharp Greed’s teeth were when every little movement seemed to pinch and poke, but Greed was still somehow gentle with his kissing and sucking down his chest to his belly button. The tulpa happily undid his creator’s belt and yanked his pants off along with his underwear, leaving his hard blushing length to bob gently against his waist. Greed then began removing his own jacket and undoing his shirt before pulling his pants down, revealing a similar, if slightly more impressive, sight.
“Like what you see, pretty boy? You made me bigger. How very generous of you.”
The man underneath whined. “Are you finally gonna fuck me?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want,” Greed cooed as if it wasn’t obvious by the way they were both squirming to get at each other.
“Mhm,” he whined, “Please.”
Greed grinned as he leaned down and licked sloppily along the other’s shaft while maintaining sultry eye contact through his glittery sunglasses. The other moaned as he gently tried pushing himself further into Greed’s mouth. It wasn’t long before the tulpa had raised back up to his full height while still on his knees and was wrapping his creator’s legs around his waist.
“You’re gonna love this so fucking much you’re never gonna want anyone else but me doing this to you, and I’m not even real,” Greed giggled with delight as he pressed himself up against the virgin hole before him.
He just moaned and nodded in response, paying no mind to the lack of lube or prep. That didn’t really matter if this wasn’t really happening, did it? Still, as Greed’s member slid its way into him and he felt the burning stretch, he became less and less sure that this was all in his head. By the time Greed’s balls were finally nestled within the valley of his ass, they were both breathing heavily and shaking with anticipation.
“You’re even tighter than I thought…” Greed marveled, his tone losing much of the bravado it had displayed moments before.
He barely moved his hips to press himself up against the wall of the other man’s ass, making him gasp and press himself back against Greed’s cock restlessly. He hated to admit it, but he had been wanting this for so long. He had formed every inch of Greed, including this most intimate part of him, with the intention of improving himself, and finally getting laid definitely couldn’t hurt anything. “Please, just, go on…take my virginity.”
Greed’s grin returned and he wrapped his hands around his creator’s thighs, beginning to slowly thrust in and out to get him used to the feeling. The feeling of being dominated, of being fucked by this…creature, this being of his own creation, sent a feeling like pride flowing through him. He wasn’t used to feeling this good about himself, nor was he used to feeling this good in general. The fact that in a way he had caused this just made the good feelings multiply. A wide smile crossed his face as he tilted his head back and let himself get lost in it.
The thrusts of the man above him got more and more rough as Greed began to fold him in on himself a little, his spindly legs flopping around in the air. He was all too aware of the way their breathing synced up as flesh slapped against flesh. Greed’s hands roamed his naked form, the silk raising goosebumps in its wake. His eyes rolled back in his head as the green fabric wrapped around his weeping length and began to jerk him off erratically, Greed letting spit drop out of his mouth and onto both places where they connected to smooth out the motions slightly. Greed’s alien tongue dangled out of his mouth as he watched the man come undone beneath him. He felt his power grow with every moment that his creator relinquished himself to him. The man clasped his hands around the back of Greed’s neck as he cried out his name over and over.
Neither of them had to say anything. Greed knew the moment the one beneath him would be spurting pearly ropes onto his own chest and face, and he made sure to be massaging his prostate and grinning down at him monstrously at just the right time. When the moment was finally upon him, he squeaked and stuttered and pressed himself back up against Greed primally as he painted himself white. Greed just chuckled, continuing his assault on his aching hole until he was cumming deep inside him. Greed groaned as he whimpered, covering his face with the back of his forearm.
It was all…so good. He had never felt this good in his life; it seemed like things were finally coming together both in his business and in…whatever this was. He knew he didn’t mind keeping this arrangement up for a long time, and judging by the satisfied look on Greed’s face as he pulled out and watched his very real cum begin trickling out of him, he knew Greed didn’t either.
* * *
“Soooo, how are things?” Josie asked, swiveling around in her stool at the diner they had met up at for lunch.
He had stopped going to the workshops a couple months back, frankly because he had no need for them anymore. Still, he had found himself missing the companionship of the quirky overseer of the establishment, so he would occasionally drop in to look at her newest wares and chat about life. That had turned into lunch every 15th of the month, which he always found himself looking forward to. Josie was almost like a mother figure to him, which was…much needed, to put it lightly.
“Things are good, things are great …people are buying the thneeds, my landlord is letting me get a couple of guinea pigs, and of course…” He hid his shy smile with his coffee cup as a slight blush came to his cheeks.
Josie giggled. “Say no more. You know, if you ever need relationship advice, let me know. Harold and I have been happily together for fifteen years now.” She gave a good-natured wink.
“Wow, fifteen years?” he asked, incredulous.
The blonde nodded, her large earrings wobbling. “And it wasn’t easy either! He was a little bit hard to get,” she snickered, “kind of like-”
At that point, Greed came sauntering in, his hand trailing across the other’s back as he came to sit upon the stool on his other side.
“O-Oh hello, what are you doing here?”
“I took the rest of the day off so I could stop in and see how my boy and his little friend are fairing,” Greed sneered good-naturedly before giving Josie a wave.
She just waved back happily.
