Work Text:
They are naked in the gazebo.
Only a moment ago, Anthony rolled sideways from heaven to recover his wits, straight-backed on the floorboards. The air is thick with the earthy sweetness of petrichor, lilies and sweat. It must have rained while they were—
Well, it has stopped now, and it is peaceful again, silent but for the chirp of insects and the wind brushing the trees. There is no light but that from the moon and their single lantern. It is just as hot as a late July night should be, and it is pleasant to feel the breeze cool his bare skin.
Anthony can feel Kate's hair tickling his bare arm as he stares straight up at the roof of the gazebo. His heart is still pounding from his climax; he can hear Kate's accelerated breath as she recovers from hers. The thought flickers that he hasn’t felt anything like this since Siena, but it's rapidly chased off by the iron truth that he's never felt like this before, with anyone.
Kate rolls to look at him, head pillowed on her arm, and Anthony mirrors her. There is a clear inch at least between them from top to toe, a no man's land, but she hasn't covered herself. She is not hiding from him, and the moonlight only highlights each rapturous contour of her body, a chiaroscuro masterpiece.
Someone must be wondering where she is.
"My lord, I—"
"Miss Shar—"
Just as they started to speak together, they stop together, and their eyes lock. It's not a conscious decision as Anthony's free hand settles on Kate's hip and brushes slowly up her side. He takes a ragged breath as his hand settles in the curve of her waist. Her fingers rest lightly against his chest. The touch of soft fingertips against him sends lightning from their point of contact right to his lips, and he burns with the need to kiss her again.
Instead, he says, "Call me Anthony, please. Here at least."
"No, my lord," Kate replies, but there's no fire in it. It's the softest she's ever been with him. If anything, he thinks she inches closer again, eyes hooded. How long her lashes are, how beautiful those eyes. He could get lost in them.
He inches closer too, his mouth falling slightly open to mirror hers. He can taste Kate on his tongue still, he can feel their breath mingling. If he gets any closer to her—
He closes his eyes and breaks the spell. He listens to her breath, and the crickets, and imagines her fingers being rocked by the hammering of his heartbeat. Her skin is red hot under his hand.
"What is Kate short for?" he asks, opening his eyes. The question has nagged him for some time; it is very unusual for a lady to be introduced by the diminutive of her name, but it has always felt too intimate a question to ask until now.
"What?"
"Kate is short for something, is it not? Is it Katherine, or…?"
"Kathani."
"Kathani," he repeats, enjoying the shape of the word on his tongue. "How beautiful."
They lapse into silence again.
"My lord—" Kate starts, but Anthony cuts her off. He won't answer to his title tonight. He can see a glint of something in her eyes, but she does not argue with him. He wants to note the correlation between her being well-pleasured and this brief interlude of docility, but that would depend on the circumstance being repeated—which can never happen again after this night.
"Why did you let me…?" he begins.
He doesn't know how to finish that sentence with the delicacy a lady requires.
Kate understands, as she always has done. Even in his mind, he can't quite bring himself to admit the similarities between them, but he won't deny them either. "It wasn't a question of letting you," she says, flattening her hand against his chest. "There was nothing at all to stop us."
"What do you mean?"
"I have already failed, in every possible way. What is one more failure? There is nothing else to lose."
"You have failed?" Anthony asks, feeling his hold on her waist tighten. He is conscious of the rising volume of his voice, but can't quite curtail it either. "You have only tried to protect your sister. I have cocked this up from the very first moment! I broke your sister's heart, I took liberties with—"
Kate pushes him away, dislodges his grip from her side. Her docility has dissipated. "Must you be the victor even in a competition for this? You must be the one who feels the most shame, who has been the greatest disappointment to their family?"
"You are not a disappointment; it was me who—"
"But I am. I too betrayed my sister, I failed her and my mother: I bear equal shame. But this? Tonight? Your arrogance knows no bounds. How can you not see it? How ludicrous you are, in such a moment. You did not force me into this, you have not dishonoured me. We have so much about which we should be ashamed, but not this. There should be no shame here."
Anthony continues to protest. "You are a lady, and—"
"And a grown woman who knows her own mind. You need not make excuses for my decisions, my lord, for they are mine to own and not yours to command. I wanted this—we both wanted this."
Anthony can think of no counterargument. Unwilling to admit defeat, he kisses her again. He is feverish, fierce, and forceful as his fingers lace into her hair and pull them together, tasting her again. It is an instant relief, the indulgence of the need to have her close, to have all his senses full of Kate. With his eyes screwed closed, she is the whole world.
She is kissing him back, her hands clawing at his back as his tangle in her hair, and he wants to drown in her. He never wants to breathe again, never wants to surface from this moment.
They break away and he gasps her name against her mouth: "Kate. Kathani."
She moans, and he presses his lips to her jaw, brushes kisses down the side of her neck. She cranes for him, lets him in, and as he kisses her pulse point he's certain he hears her gasp: "Anthony."
He must marry this woman. He wishes to feel like this every night, and every day, for the few short years he has left. He is too selfish to deny himself that any longer. He can't be kept away from her—he won't be. No rational objection will stand any longer.
But he will ask her in the morning, in the cold light of day, as the lady deserves. For now, he kisses her again.