Archive of Our Own

“Hypothetically, if I did reject you...”

It had been a week now since Mine had heard those words fall from Shae’s lips, yet here they were again, ringing in her ears like the never-ending toll of church bells.

Or maybe a really annoying rooster.

The early dawnlight of Fálias was a little cooler compared to the rest of the day, and there was a pleasant breeze in the air; perfect conditions for a walk. Or in Mine’s case, an excuse to avoid––ahem, sort out her thoughts about her roommate and crush.

Honestly, why were their words haunting Mine still?

It had been a single conversation––a heartfelt conversation, true––but it wasn’t like anything had changed since then.

Shae didn’t push away Mine’s hugs, the back-and-forths between the two of them hadn’t stopped, and of course, the food was delicious as always. And every now and again, Mine would catch them staring at her just a little too long, always quickly swerving their head away when their eyes met hers.

Like someone caught staring at their crush too long.

It didn’t seem like there was any indication at all they were planning on rejecting Mine just yet.

Still...

“Maybe I was...wrong?”

When it came to romance and love and commitment, everyone was different. It could very well be that Mine had been reading Shae all wrong, that signs of their interest were just Mine’s overactive, hopelessly romantic imagination at work.

There was also the possibility that Shae was beginning to realize they weren’t interested in Mine, that the words Mine had given them the day she declared her intentions to woo them would be thrown back in her face.

“Mine, I don’t think I’ll ever fall for you, so stop pursuing me.”

Mine’s footsteps paused, their chest constricting. Above their head, the wind rustled amidst the leaves of the forest canopy, the movements sounding almost agitated.

As much as she hated to admit it, that wasn’t completely impossible, was it?

Especially if Mine had been picking up the wrong signals from Shae, then...

Then Mine would rather they hurry up and get it over with, break her heart into little pieces already so they could both move on.

Mine’s shoulders shook with an unexpected cough, and they covered their mouth with their hand. To their surprise, amidst the saliva, there was something...soft?

Like a feather, like a leaf.

They pulled back their hand, staring at their palm.

“A petal?”

The pursuit of love was, in Mine’s honest opinion, an exhausting one.

Falling in love was easy. Mine fell in love all the time, look, the curve of that person’s smile, wasn’t it sweet? The timber of the laugh from that girl, wasn’t it musical? The way that boy’s eyes lit up as he watched a cloud drift by, wasn’t it lovely?

So many people in the world, so many things to love.

But the more things Mine found, the more the emotions started to pool inside of her, like a cup on the verge of overflowing.

The adorable way their pout looked when Mine teased them.

The way their cheeks reddened at the slightest compliment, at the slightest bit of flirtation.

The soft, rare smiles like a shard of rainbow glass amidst sandy beaches, a secret treasure.

The soft humming as they were baking, as they prepared dinner.

Mine could list a thousand things to love about Shae, and it still wouldn’t be enough to capture everything she loved about them.

So, a cup became a lake, a lake became a river, and suddenly Mine’s heart was an endless ocean of emotion, and they were drowning in it. Stranded amidst turbulent waves, she was dragged along by the relentless current.

Great highs––affection, excitement, utter happiness––to the more recently frequent lows––rejection, fear, doubt.

Falling in love was easy. 

Staying in love, on the other hand? That was the real challenge.

And with the prospect of rejection hovering in the background like a storm in the distance, Mine had to wonder if she should give up already. Ask Shae directly for their answer and get her hopes shattered thoroughly.

Or maybe she could just try to convince herself to just stop these feelings.

If not, Mine would continue to stay in love, and as long she stayed, she would keep finding more and more ways to love Shae, until it was too late and she was too deep in.

Can’t I still love them? a small part of her wondered. Even if Shae didn’t feel the same way, what was wrong with wanting to love them still?

Of course, there was nothing stopping Mine from loving them.

The real question is if I can handle more heartbreak.

Enduring more heartbreak and worrying and doubt––did Shae hate her? Did they think Mine’s feelings were annoying, a bother? Were they finally going to put an end to things?––all for a glimmer of hope, tantalizingly close yet always just a breath out of her reach. 

To keep hoping like this was exhausting. It was exhausting keeping her heart open and warm, as if she didn’t feel like glass sometimes, easy to break and so, so easy to scratch and crack.

“You’re too intense.”

“You’re not the kind of person I thought you were.”

“I’m sorry...this is goodbye.”

What line would Shae use to end things?

A simple goodbye? A stuttered apology? A long winded explanation that was maybe a little more blunt than necessary? 

Or maybe they would take one of the easier ways out, just stop talking to Mine altogether, cut her off like it didn’t matter and ask her to leave their home. 

Mine’s shoulders shook once more, their chest tight as they hacked out cough after cough into their palm.

As usual, thin yellow petals stared back from their hand. Previously, there would only be one after a cough, but these days they were multiplying, almost as if someone had plucked them off in a game of ‘he-loves-me, he-loves-me-not.’

They love me, they love me not...

Mine threw away the petals before they could reach the end of the game, before they could reach the final petal.

They didn’t need to know the answer to that question.

“This is serious, Mine.”

Mine’s brown eyes shifted, glancing from Keagan, then to Aífe. 

The coughs had been getting more painful and the petals had increased, half formed flowers appearing on occasion.

 Before Shae grew suspicious, Mine decided to visit the two members of the Seelie Court who would definitely know how to help them. After explaining the symptoms, Keagan and Aífe had gone quiet, before ushering Mine into a private study.

Looking at the two of them now, there was no trace of humor in either his or her expressions, but Mine attempted a cheery grin anyway, “Why? They’re just petals, no big deal.”

“Not these ones.”

“You mean dandelions are serious business?”

“We mean the fact you’ve been coughing them up, darling,” Aífe said.

“Yeah, that was kinda weird––”

“It’s more than that,” Keagan interrupted. “Those flowers, they’re symptoms of something worse at play.”

Aífe nodded. “It’s a disease, a rare one, but there are legends. Humans who wandered into Tír na nÓg following great tragedy––war, plague, famine––would find themselves coughing up petals. Petals, flowers, sometimes stalks and leaves, and then...”

“And then?”

“Blood,” Keagan answered simply. “The flowers would soon be mixed with blood, indicating the disease had almost claimed them. After that, well, I’m sure you can fill in the gaps, mo chara.”

Mine blinked. “So you’re saying, I’m dying?”

“Well, there’s no blood yet––”

“But it’s only a matter of time, isn’t it?!” They leapt to their feet, searching Keagan and Aífe’s faces, but the only thing reflected back at them was the same sinking feeling swirling in the pit of their stomach. In a quiet voice, they asked, “Is there no way to stop it?”

“They say the disease stems from grief. It looks for those who have experienced terrible tragedy, taking root in the cracks of their hearts. In order to overcome it, it was vital for the victim to find happiness, a reason to let go of their grief.”

Mine gaped at him. “But I’m, I’m me . I grew up in a happy family, a wonderful village. I’ve never gone through any terrible tragedy, definitely not anything like in those legends!”

“Maybe the disease can’t afford to be picky these days, with so few humans,” Aífe suggested. “Those are just legends, Mine, exaggerations if you will. It could very well be that the flowers target humans indiscriminately, and if you happen to fulfill the criteria in the littlest way, then...”

“Then I die. For no good reason.”

They blinked back tears, lips pressed together in a tight line.

“Mine.” It was Keagan, his voice soft. “Can you think of anything that could have possibly triggered the disease? Forget about big tragedies, has there been anything recently that has caused you grief or pain?”

The answer flashed in Mine’s mind before the words were out of his mouth.

Shae.

“No, no, that can’t be it. It’s just, it’s just a crush! Yeah, I’ve been, um, feeling kinda worried, but it’s, it’s normal in these situations, right? Being vulnerable and putting your heart on the line, it’s scary and it hurts, but that’s all just normal, right?”

“Mine...”

“I’ve gone through this so many times before, and I never died from it! It hurt, yeah, it hurt like hell, but, but I came out OK, I made it through. Why this time? Why now?!”

Why Shae?

Keagan placed a hand on their shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. “I don’t know, but we need to hurry if we’re going to stop the disease from progressing.”

Mine nodded, pushing down the storm of emotions that thrummed beneath their skin. “What do I have to do, Keagan, Aífe? Try to be happy?”

“Let go of your grief, somehow.” 

His expression conveyed a deeper implication, and the message clicked in Mine’s head, their eyes widening.

“What, you want me to force Shae to love me? To, to make them love me the way I want?”

“What other choice do you have? Besides, isn’t that what you were hoping for in the first place?”

Tears stung their eyes, rage rising in their throat as they gritted their teeth. How could he say that, how could he even think that, that Mine would ever do something like that––

“Not so fast, Keags.”

Aífe was between the two of them, gently ushering Mine closer to her chair, while Keagan stayed rooted to the spot, arms folded.

“Mine,” she said, taking her seat, “if you’re reluctant to take that option, I do have a more drastic method to help.” Her usual sweet smile was tinged with a touch of bitterness. “Mind you, it’s not looked upon fondly, but I do have my ways.”

Aífe proceeded to elaborate on a certain kind of taboo magic, one that could extract emotions from the heart, like cutting away parts of meat at the butcher’s. It wasn’t very painful and knowing Aífe, it would be reliable, however...

“You’ll never get that emotion back,” she said. “Once you’ve agreed to remove and destroy it, the feeling will be lost to you forever.”

“So I’ll never love Shae again?”

Aífe shook her head. “Be it as lovers or as friends, you will never feel any kind of affection towards them again. Even in the future, their existence will mean nothing to you. For the rest of your life, they will remain a distant stranger.”

“A small price to pay for staying alive,” Keagan added.

Except it wasn’t.

Every kind gesture, every adorable reaction, every word and everything about Shae...they would mean nothing to Mine at all.

Nothing.

And somehow, that was even more terrifying.

“I need some time to think, Aífe,” Mine managed at last.

“Of course, darling. Just, don’t take too long, alright? Neither one of us wants to lose you, and I’m sure, I’m sure your Shae feels the same.”

Mine nodded numbly, barely registering the words as they turned to leave.

On the walk home to Shae’s outpost, Mine had plenty of time to think.

How many ways had Mine been rejected already at this point? Surely with their track record, they must have experienced nearly every kind of rejection the world had to offer, every kind of ending and farewell and goodbye.

Each time, they fell apart, put themself together, and carried on.

Regardless how painful, regardless how much it left their heart in tatters, they endured every ending and moved forward.

After all, what else could they do?

Dwelling on things that couldn’t be changed, it would only leave them embittered. And to close off their heart from the world, from the endless possibilities of love and intimacy, would mean crushing any hope for the happy ending they longed for.

Except now, as it turned out, all that optimism had been useless.

Mine thought back to that night, the night of that heartfelt conversation with Shae.

It had happened shortly after she had turned down a potential suitor; someone who was looking for romance, sure, but had no interest in Mine outside of her bubbly, flirty persona. Shae and Mine talked for a while about love and relationships until Shae had brought up the dreaded question.

“Hypothetically, if I did reject you, what would you do?”

Mine blinked, taken aback, but by the next moment, she was tapping her chin, pondering the question.  

“I’d probably cry for a while. You won’t see me for like a week, I’m always such a mess after.” She chuckled, before adding, “But that’s my problem to deal with, not yours, Shae. You don’t have to worry about me, I’ve been through like a thousand of these already!”

She gave a big cheery laugh, but the worry creasing Shae’s features did not subside, their brows furrowing further.

“C’mon now, don’t look at me like that. It’s part of life, it’s part of love. You can’t avoid getting hurt when it comes to things like this.”

In a small voice, they asked, “Am I worth gettin’ hurt over?”

Mine smiled then, squeezing their hand briefly. “Of course.”

“Even if it’s not what you’re hopin’ for?”

A beat of silence, before Mine gave their answer.

“Shae, no matter what way you choose to love me, it will be worth it. So please, don’t worry about me and find the answer for yourself. Whatever you decide, I’ll be fine.”

At this moment, those hopeful promises tasted like ash in Mine’s mouth. Sure, she had meant it at the time.

Now?

Mine couldn’t deny that a part of her wanted her love to be reciprocated. Wasn’t that usually the case?

To have the words fall from Shae’s lips, to have the taste of their kiss linger on her skin, to allow her dam of emotions to spill and overflow. No more holding back, no more keeping her longing and yearning in check. 

To love freely, to love wholly, to love and love and love Shae as much as she pleased.

It was wrong though, it was all wrong.

In this case, Shae wouldn’t actually be in love with Mine at all. They would be by her side not because they had chosen Mine, not because they wanted to stay, but out of guilt, out of obligation.

And what kind of love was that?

Mine paused, ducking into the forest and away from the road, before someone spotted her. She found a stump to rest against, as the tears started rolling down, her breaths coming out in small gasps, along with the odd cough and the fluttering of petals.

“I don’t want that,” she mumbled to herself. “I’d rather be hated for myself than loved as someone I’m not! I’d rather not be loved at all if I have to force someone into it!”

Mine would rather rip her own heart out than be so selfish, so cruel, towards someone she cherished so dearly.

Then, what was left?

Cutting out the part of her heart that loved Shae, that adored them, that treasured every word and gesture and smile and every single thing that made up Shae. Only emptiness would remain where there had once been affection, and never again would any of those feelings bloom.

That was for the best, wasn’t it?

Shae didn’t need to be bothered by Mine’s feelings anymore, and she no longer had to endure the burden of this heartache, this fear and doubt and worry.

She would just fall in love again, like all the times before. Get hurt again, like all the times before.

Sighing, Mine placed a palm over the thrum over their heartbeat.

Your heart was made to love, someone had once told them.

Your heart was made to endure, another had said.

“Tell me,” Mine said, looking up to the impossibly bright sky, “if this heart was made to love, if this heart was made to endure…”

 When will this heart be allowed to rest?

As expected, there was no answer, only the lonely rustling of the forest canopy.

“You’re late,” Shae said, clicking their tongue as Mine entered the front door.

Despite their sharp gaze, there seemed to be no surprise, no concern in their expression. 

Good, Mine’s features betrayed nothing of her crying, no puffy or red eyes, nothing of her emotional turmoil, and as long as she kept her voice even for the rest of dinner, Shae would be none the wiser. 

“Sorry~” she sang, putting on a carefree smile as she approached the dining table. “Aífe and Keagan and I were talking, and I guess I sorta lost track of time.”

“Well, the pie’s gone cold now,” they pouted. “So has the stew.”

“Awwww no. I’m sorry, I’ll try to be more mindful next time hehe.”

Shae rolled their eyes, but switched out Mine’s bowl for a steaming one. “Can’t do anythin’ about the pie though,” they said.

“That’s fine. I’m sure it will be scrumptious as always.”

They grumbled something under their breath as they took their seat, but there was the slightest tinge of red to their cheeks.

A swell of affection rose, like it always did around lovely, adorable Shae, and naturally, this was followed by a cough.

“You alright?” Shae asked.

Mine was already gulping down water, swallowing down petals. “Fine. Just something caught in my throat, I think.” 

Shae nodded, shoulders still tense.

So she started digging in, making a show of enjoying the food, with loud slurps and sighs of contentment.

“Slow down, it’s not goin’ anywhere,” Shae said, a smile tugging at the corners of their lips. Their posture was starting to relax too.

“Ooops,” she giggled, licking some sauce off her bottom lip. “It’s so delicious I can’t seem to stop!”

“Or maybe you’re just starving’, you’re always forgettin’ a meal or two. Well, there’s more on th’ stove if you want some.”

Mine held out her empty bowl. “Please and thank you.”

Shae shook their head, almost fondly, taking the bowl and getting to their feet. Humming a tune under their breath, they paused by Mine to bring along her empty glass too.

And it was such a simple act, a small, simple gesture. They were going to fill up the glass since they were heading to the kitchen anyway. 

But Mine hadn’t even pointed out the empty glass, hadn’t even asked for a refill, and yet, with hardly a thought, Shae had done it anyway, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

As if taking care of Mine was the most natural thing in the world. 

Mine anticipated her body’s reaction before it began, hurriedly pulling out a handkerchief from her pocket and clamping it over her mouth. The longing and love and appreciation surged in her heart like a wave, and at the same time, her chest constricted, suffocating her.

Doubling over, Mine rested her forehead against the table, her thick dark curls hiding her face, so Shae couldn’t see her expression, couldn’t see the handkerchief, as her body was racked by an endless stream of painful cough after cough. 

“Mine?!” She could barely make out their voice amidst the coughing and the ringing in her ears, but the worry was clear as day. “Mine, what’s wrong?”

Their arms were on her then, rubbing her back, tracing comforting circles on her arm. They kept asking questions, but Mine could hardly sit up properly, much less speak with all the coughing. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the coughs subsided and it felt like Mine could breathe at last. They took a gulpful of air, only coughing once, before turning to look at Shae, her head still resting atop the table. 

The blood had drained from Shae’s face, and their gestures were frantic as they fired off questions, “Are you alright? What was that? What’s goin’ on?”

“Sorry,” Mine croaked, attempting a smile. It felt like she failed. “Seems like I’m coming down with something haha.”

Shae pressed their hand against her forehead. “You’re not burnin’ up, but no fever can still mean you’re sick. Alright, let me carry you to your room.”

“Huh?!”

“You’re in no condition to go up those stairs. I’ll carry you.”

Mine’s fist tightened around the handkerchief, slipping the fabric into her pocket. “I can go up by myself.”

“No, you can’t––”

“I need something warm to drink. For the cough yknow. Maybe hibiscus tea with honey? Oh and a hot water bottle, that’ll probably help too.”

Shae narrowed their eyes, while Mine batted hers innocently. 

“You’re not goin’ to run off, are you?”

“Promise I’ll go right up. Please, the tea would be so soothing for my chest right now.”

Shae sighed. “Fine. But if you so much as take a step outside, I’m draggin’ you back to bed myself.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’ve nursed me before.” Mine got up, a bit wobbly, but refrained from grabbing onto Shae and steadied herself on the chair. Giving a smile, she said, “See? I’m fine.”

“You are not. Upstairs with you, now.”

“I heard you the first time.” Mine marched over to the stairs. Setting her foot on the first step, she glanced back. Shae was still at the dining table, poised to immediately rush to her side if she showed any signs of needing help. “Shae?”

“Yes?” Their stance shifted, as if they were about to break into a mad dash.

Mine stifled a laugh, stifled the fondness that rose at the sight. “Thanks. I’m glad you’re here with me.”

Even if a part of Mine was still selfish enough to crave their love at any cost, even if tomorrow might erase these feelings forever, she was so very, very glad to be here with them, right here, right now. 

“Oh, uh, er, sure, me too? No, what I mean is––”

Mine chuckled, barely hiding the cough. “I’m going upstairs now.”

“Right. And I’ll make you that tea.”

“Don’t forget the hot water bottle.”

“Got it.”

Mine inhaled, resisting the urge to cough, as they hurried up the stairs to their room. Shutting the door behind them, they listened for sounds of footsteps, but no, the wind told them Shae was still bustling in the kitchen.

Taking out the handkerchief, they undid the folds to reveal the contents.

Whole dandelion flowers, leaves and broken bits of stems, of petals, and…

Mine’s eyes widened in shock, their blood turning cold. 

Staining one of the yellow flowers was a single bright drop of red.

Things became very bad very quickly.

The coughing fits grew longer, more painful, as if Mine was hacking up their own lungs, but no, it was always the flowers that left their lips, scattered on their palms and spotted with drops of blood.

I thought I had more time!

Several days, a week at least, before they needed to make their decision.

However, life had other plans and within a few days, they could barely move without spurning on more coughs, their body growing fatigued and weak.

“We need to call a doctor,” Shae told her on the fourth day. 

There were dark circles under Shae’s eyes, exhaustion creasing deep lines across their features. They looked ready to collapse, yet day after day, they had dutifully stayed by Mine’s side, bringing up food and drinks, helping her to the bathroom, getting extra blankets and whatever else she needed.

“No!” she exclaimed, grabbing their arm and pulling them down, forcing them to sit on the edge of her bed.

She expected Shae to argue back, to snap at her, but instead, they trembled, eyes becoming watery. “You’re gettin’ worse,” they whispered, “and I don’t know how to help you get better.”

“Shae…”

“Mine, please. I can’t lose you.”

Mine released them, leaning back against the pillows. She avoided their gaze as she told them, “...OK.”

Relief broke across their face, their shoulders sagging, and a pang of guilt struck Mine’s heart. Somehow, it stung even more than the coughing did.

They squeezed Mine’s hand. “I’ll be right back, alright? Won’t be long, so you go ahead and take a nap first. When you wake up, things will be all better.”

They wouldn’t be, but Shae didn’t need to know that.

Mine reached out to cup their cheek. Shae stiffened at the touch, their face starting to flush, but they didn’t push her away. They never really did. 

Ah, if only this moment could last forever.

I love you , Mine thought.

“Take your time,” she said instead. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Her chest tightened but she forced herself to hold the urge to cough, struggling to keep her breathing sound even and calm. 

Mine dropped her hand. “See you soon.”

“Have a good rest,” Shae said awkwardly, rising to their feet. 

Once they had left the room, Mine sat up, allowing herself a few coughs. Petals and flowers and leaves fluttered atop the covers, though no blood yet. 

Using the wind, she listened to Shae’s movements around the house, getting ready to leave, almost forgetting a handkerchief or something, then at last the door shut and their footsteps grew more and more distant until they were too far for Mine to hear.

Too far to stop Mine. 

“It’s time, I suppose.” She placed an elbow on the windowsill, glancing outside. Her body was much too weak to climb down, but that’s what magic was for, right?

Gathering her blankets around her, she sat on the windowsill and allowed the wind to fill up the blankets, expanding them. Once she was satisfied with the size, Mine jumped.

A gale of wind exploded beneath her feet, keeping her makeshift parachute airborne, as Mine gently descended to the ground. Once she reached the ground, she dropped the blankets, leaving them to pool around her feet. They would only weigh her down.

Mine turned to glance back at the outpost, at the place she had called home these past few months with Shae.

“Goodbye,” she said, and ran towards the direction of the forest.

Mine didn’t know how long they had been walking. Time was strange in Tír na nÓg, and in Fálias, it was always morning. 

If it had been up to Mine––especially if they were back in the human realm where the sky wasn’t stuck on a certain time––they would have preferred to do this at night. Better cover, but they would make do with what they had.

Deeper and deeper into the trees, the scurrying of animals and birdsong gradually becoming louder, less hidden than around people and civilization.

Their feet ached, and the wearier they felt, the more frequent the coughing became. 

When they came across a small glade by a lake, that was when their body declared enough was enough, their legs giving out under them. Falling to their knees, they could only hack out cough after cough after cough, expelling every part of the dandelion plant into their hand.

Except this time, instead of just the flowers in their palm, puffs of dandelion seeds dripped from their mouth, tinged red.

Mine blinked, and they could have sworn they heard the sound of glass breaking. Maybe it was their heart, they thought, tears filling their eyes. And they began to laugh, a sardonic, hollow sound.

“So this is it, huh? Gotta admit it’s all kinda poetic.”

Dandelion wishes, carrying Mine’s hopes and regrets and everything else, carried away by the wind they wielded as easily as breathing.

“I hope I’m the last one,” they wished, coughing out another seed. “I hope no one ever suffers like I did.” The seed landed on her palm and Mine crushed it. Maybe one less person would suffer now, one less person who would be affected by this disease.

Another cough, and their limbs shook, before Mine collapsed to the ground.

“Yknow,” they said to no one in particular, “I didn’t even tell Shae goodbye properly.”

Mine hadn’t even been brave to give them a final ‘I love you’.

“I hope you won’t be too sad when I’m gone, Shae. I like your smile, I want you to always be happy. I’m sorry..for everything.”

At this point, it felt like their heart should have long given out, from the all-consuming despair, from the endless grief, but still, there was a small stab of longing, sharp and true, and Mine coughed out one last dandelion seed, completely dyed red.

They closed their eyes.

The afterlife was dark, but oddly comfortable and warm like a hug from a loved one. If Mine strained their ears, they could make out humming, nostalgic and familiar.

Wait, no, Mine actually did recognize that humming.

She flung her eyelids open, carnelian brown meeting mossy green.

“Good mornin’,” Shae said, hovering above her. Judging from the position, Mine’s head was resting atop their lap, as they stroked her hair.

“...am I dead?”

Shae pinched her cheek, and Mine squeaked, “Ouch!”

“It’s what you deserve.”

Mine swatted their hand off. “Fine, I’m alive. Guess that also answers if I’m dreaming.”  She massaged her chest, not feeling the usual constricting, suffocating pain. 

“The Queen gave me a potion. She said it would ease th’ effects for a few hours…and that a doctor couldn’t help you.”

Mine looked up at them. “You know, huh?”

Shae’s lip wobbled, and upon closer inspection, their eyes were red-rimmed, faint tear trails on their cheeks. In a voice barely louder than a breath, they asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She looked away. “What could you have done?” Shae opened their mouth, but Mine was faster, “Forced yourself to love me because I couldn’t handle one rejection? Married me because I was dying? Please, these are my feelings and this is my problem. I’ll handle it on my own.”

“Why do you have to do it all alone?!” they hollered. High above in the trees, birds cawed in surprise, followed by the hurried flapping of wings.

“Because these are my feelings! My problem! Not yours.” Mine would have preferred to get up, make some animated gestures to get their point across, but their body was still heavy, weighing them down like lead.

“Maybe say that when you’re not on the verge of dyin’!”

“Wow, I’m sorry, I’ll remember next time my unrequited crush almost kills me!” 

Yet Mine found their lips twitching at the absurdity of the situation; of course Shae would still yell and berate Mine, dying or not. But she liked that about them too.

“Why are you smilin’ now?” Shae said, but the corners of their mouth were twitching too, threatening to curve upwards.

So Mine laughed, painless for once. “I just think we’re, we’re kinda ridiculous together. I like that though, about us. It’s fun being with you, it’s wonderful being with you.” She sighed. “I didn’t want to lose this, yknow.”

“Me?”

“Yes, but also this––” She gestured at the space between them, “The relationship we have. The good and bad…I didn’t want to lose this.”

“You wouldn’t lose me,” they said matter-of-factly.

Mine shook her head. “You don’t know that. You don’t understand how much I love you.”

As expected, their face flushed, but they didn’t break eye contact. “Tell me then.”

It was Mine’s turn to blush, darting her gaze away.

They furrowed their brow, half-confused, half-amused. “Why are you gettin’ all embarrassed for?”

“I’m––I’m just not used to you being honest, OK? Threw me off.” She huffed, folding her arms. “Honestly, Shae, read the room.”

“We’re outside, Mine.”

“Whatever.”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

Mine groaned. “Fineeee. But don’t laugh.”

Shae snorted, and she narrowed her eyes. “Sorry, no more laughin’ after this. I swear.”

“Better not. So, um, about how I, er, love you, it’s a lot. Just, uh, so much.” Was it the disease, or would Mine have been this ineloquent even without it? 

“I know that,” Shae grinned.

“You know the surface. Like this much.” Mine indicated a pinch, between her thumb and forefinger. 

“How big is it then?”

“Wide as an ocean, twice as turbulent. Honestly, it always feels like a storm in my heart. Sometimes, sometimes how much I care about you, how much I adore you, it just crashes all over me, and I feel so, so wonderful. But then…”

“Then?”

“Then I remember you don’t love me, not the way I hope you will. I remember that you could break my heart with a single sentence, and those feelings drag me under instead.” 

Tears formed in their eyes, and Mine tried to blink them back, only for one to roll down the side of her face instead. Cursing, she reached up to wipe it away, but Shae had already pressed the hem of their shirt against her skin.

“I don’t understand you sometimes,” they said, dabbing Mine’s eyes with small, delicate touches. “Why put yourself through this? Why…why didn’t you just go along with the Queen’s offer?”

So they knew about that too. 

“...because I hated it,” Mine confessed. “I hated the thought of losing the love I had for you. Even if it is painful, even if it hurts, I am happy, being able to love you, cherish you. And to think, all that would be gone, that you would end up meaning nothing to me forever…” They sighed. “I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t choose that.”

“You didn’t try to force me to love you either.”

“Cuz I hate that too!”

Shae laughed then, a beautiful, musical sound. “You’re too picky ‘bout how to go about savin’ your own life.”

“I know~” she sang, grinning.

“I don’t get that though. Don’t people usually want their feelings reciprocated? What’s the difference if the reason’s a little different from what you were imaginin’?”

“Gonna be honest with you here, Shae, I think ‘hoping my feelings are requited because the other person has fallen for me too’ and ‘getting my love returned because I’m on my deathbed’ are very, very different things.”

“Fair enough,” they chuckled. “Still, I don’t know…if, if it had been me, I don’t think I would care as much. If the person I love is by my side, does anythin’ else matter?”

Mine shook her head. “But it’s not real. Like––” She cupped Shae’s cheek, “I look at you and I see sunshine, I see someone so beautiful my heart aches. And I want you to look at me the same way, not because you have to, but because you want to.

“That even when I’m being horrible and disagreeable and just making you all kinds of frustrated, you’ll still choose to find something beautiful in me. If I forced you…that would never happen. You would just grow to resent me, you’d hate me for trapping you that way.”

“What about you though?” Their voice wobbled. “Why do you have to be the one to endure all this alone?”

“Like I said, it’s my problem. I don’t…I don’t want to trouble anyone else with it.”

Shae didn’t say anything, instead, with both hands, they tugged on Mine’s cheeks.

Mine screeched, arms thrashing. “Ow, ow, ow! That hurts! Let go, let go, Shae!”

“No.”

Mine tried to wriggle out of it, but it only made the pinches more painful. She glared at them. “Why not?”

“I’m not letting go until you’re more selfish.”

“What?!”

“You heard me, Mine. You’re so stupidly stubborn, you’re always tryin’ to take care of everyone else but yourself. Lettin’ yourself get hurt ‘cause you don’ want to bother other people, keepin’ your pain quiet behind that big goofy grin, and, and…you would rather die than ask for help.”

“OK, I am not that––” Shae’s pinch deepened and Mine yelped. “OK, OK, I get it. Let go already!”

Thankfully, they did, and Mine rubbed the sore skin, whining. “You’re so mean.”

“And you’re an idiot. Now, hurry up, be more selfish.”

“Huh?”

“I only let go o’ you ‘cause you agreed to be more selfish. So hurry up before I start pinchin’ again.”

“Oh, c’mon! How am I supposed to just do that out of the blue? What does that mean even?!”

Shae sighed, folding their arms. “I’ll put it differently then. In all honesty, Mine, what do you want to do? Not thinkin’ about me, not thinkin’ about anyone else, what do you want?”

A beat of silence. “...I can’t do that.”

Shae raised their hands.

“Pinch me all you like, but I can’t,” she said quietly. “I can’t let myself be selfish.”

“Why?”

Mine looked up at them, right into that lush green, more breath-taking than any forest. “Because you’ll hate me for it. Shae, I’m so intense, even for me. My feelings are always so overwhelming, crashing and churning and threatening to swallow me up. I struggle to keep afloat. If I was selfish…I’d drag you down with me.”

“Why not?”

She stared at them, incredulous. “Wouldn’t you hate that?”

“Maybe, but when has somethin’ like that stopped you?”

Mine snorted. “Is that what I seem like?”

“...sometimes. You always carry yourself like, like you’re not afraid of anythin’. Not gettin’ rejected, not bein’ hated, nothin’.”

“Not at all.” She shook her head.” It’s all a farce, it’s just a face I put on. I’m scared, Shae, I’m scared all the time! I just think about you telling me you don’t want me and I start tearing up.” 

A bitter laugh escaped her.

“People, people find out I’m like this , all emotional and intense behind that flirty, cheerful facade, and they leave. I’m not the person they were hoping for or looking for, so why stay?” Quietly, they added, “Not all the time, but––but enough times for me to know.”

Silence hung in the space between them, strained and heavy. Mine didn’t dare glance up, avoiding Shae’s expression, avoiding being crushed by their reaction, as she continued.

“You look at me and see someone bold, confident, selfless even. But when it comes to my heart, I’m really not. I’m not just doing this because I'm thinking of you. I'm weak, and I’m fragile, and I don’t want to be hurt.

“So––so I say I don’t want to bother you, but, the truth is, the truth is…” Mine inhaled sharply, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. “The truth is I’m just trying to protect myself. I know I said I’ve been through this a thousand times, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt!”

The words were spilling out faster, old feelings, old pains resurging, as the tears began trailing down Mine’s face.

“Each time, every time, my heart breaks into little pieces, and I collect them, put it all back together. Over and over and over again. I put on a big smile and say, ‘hey maybe next time’. But gods, I just, I…” Her voice trailed off, throat tightening, as realization dawned on her.

Shae said nothing, waiting.

“Shae...I’m so tired.”

“I know.” Their fingers gently untangled Mine’s braids, picking out leaves and grass and the odd petal, until it was just their fingers running through her hair, soothing and comfortable. 

“It’s not just you. I’ve––I’ve been chasing after love for so long, keeping my heart open, keeping my hopes up. And I’m…I’m tired of hoping. It’s exhausting yknow, always having to push myself and put my best foot forward, forcing myself to stay positive, even though the pain cuts so deep.”

They hummed, indicating for Mine to go on.

She swallowed. “Every rejection, it stays in my heart. I can hear them even now, every goodbye, every end.” If Mine’s heart was glass, it would be full of cracks, a tiny brush away from shattering. Perfect for the disease actually. “Yknow people say my heart was made to love, it was made to endure, but, but when do I get to rest? When––when do I get to stop thinking about other people and be…”

“Selfish?” Shae offered, a hint of smugness to their tone.

“Yeah, that,” Mine mumbled.

“See, there’s that stubbornness again.” They prodded Mine’s cheek, right at the spot they had pinched, but the touch was soft. 

“Kinda rich coming from you.”

“I’m not the one dyin’ from my mistakes.”

Mine gaped at them. “That was low, that was a low blow, Shae.”

“You deserve it. And well, I’m here, you know, Mine.” Their voice grew gentler, tender almost. “You can be selfish here. With me.”

Mine moved to shake her head, but Shae held her face in place, stopping her.

“That wasn’t a suggestion.”

She glared at them. “You’re gonna regret it though! I’ll bother you with my feelings, you’ll have to endure my intensity and my crying and just, just everything.”

“I think I can handle it.”

“I’ll make you more embarrassed than ever!”

“Sure.”

“I’ll make you more annoyed than you can imagine!”

“Go ahead.”

“All that love and mushy stuff is gonna spill over if I don’t hold it back. You’ll have to listen to me gushing about how gorgeous and lovely and everything else wonderful I find about you! Every day! All day!”

“You already do, with all your fancy compliments. Sometimes when you see me in the streets, you literally start wavin’ and shoutin’ my name, goin’ ‘SHAE I LOVE YOUUUU’ for th’ entire city to hear.”

They had a point. “...fair enough.”

“I’m used to it by now. Besides, it wouldn’t be you if you weren’t as ridiculous and lovin’ as you are.” 

Sharp words, but Mine heard the fondness bubbling beneath, felt the gentleness of their fingers against her skin. The problem with Shae was that it was very hard not to keep finding things to love about them.

In a quiet voice, barely louder than a breath, Mine asked, “So it’s OK? For me to be selfish? For me…to keep loving you like this?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t promise things won’t be messy. I’m not sure I can even promise I’ll be able to let go when the time comes. You’re alright with that?”

“Pretty much.”

Mine opened her mouth, but Shae put a finger to her lips. “Mine, whatever you throw my way, whatever happens, it’s fine by me.”

“Really?”

“Really. So go ahead and trouble me all you like.”

And for the first time in what felt like a very, very long time, Mine relaxed. It was as if their insides had been held taut for ages, and now the tension was ebbing away at long last.

Mine inhaled, exhaled, a newfound calmness washing over her. Glancing up, she smiled. “Thanks, Shae. I love you.”

“Euhh,” they grunted, a blush already painting their cheeks a rosy color.

Mine laughed. “You promised.”

“I know. F–fine, keep going, say––say it as many times as you want.”

“I think I already have.” Mine yawned. Funny, now that their emotions had settled, their eyelids were starting to get heavy. Come to think of it, they hadn’t been sleeping much either these last few days. Couldn’t have helped their health. “Oh, but…but tell me if you want me to stop, and I will, don’t worry.”

In the distance, Shae’s voice was far away, Mine only catching snippets. “...don’t want…stop…….love...too.”

“Mmm,” Mine mumbled. “Thanks, Shae.”

And for the first time that week, Mine drifted off into a painless sleep.

Mine awoke to the twittering of birds outside their bedroom window.

They blinked, staring at the familiar ceiling, before peering around the room. Shae must have carried them back after Mine had fallen asleep.

There was a new blanket draped over their body, and a pitcher of water and a bowl of fruit sat on the bedside table. 

On the surface, none of these things seemed particularly extraordinary, but Mine’s heart warmed at the sight anyway. Each gesture was a little ‘I love you’, a little ‘I care’, and they couldn’t be more grateful.

I love Shae.

Relief and affection rose at the same time; the typical affection they held for Shae, and relief, that Mine’s feelings remained whole, that their love was still an ocean, albeit a calmer one now. A lighter one now.

Mine poured some water for themself, then started nibbling on a strawberry. 

How odd. Now that Mine had bared their cracked, delicate glass heart, there was none of that fear or doubt or worry or anything at all really weighing down on their chest. 

Instead, her heart felt light as a breath, and rather than her love suffocating Mine, she felt buoyed by her feelings, like the waves were helping keep her afloat instead of drowning her amidst the storm. Loving Shae didn’t feel like a shameful burden, but a proud joy, something she could declare to the entire world. 

Even if Shae would never look at Mine the way she did them, it didn’t matter. 

Just the fact that this love was allowed to thrive, that she didn’t have to kill or cut off her feelings, that was more than enough. Maybe someday, Mine could love Shae the way they preferred.

Right now? 

She was grateful for the chance to keep loving them as much as she wanted.

When both the pitcher and the bowl were half emptied, Mine decided it was about time to start the day proper.

They massaged their chest, but so far, still nothing. The potion must still be in effect then, lucky them.

Standing up, they only wobbled the slightest bit, before marching over to the door and yanking it open. 

“Shae?” Mine called out, turning left, then right, but the hallway was deserted, and the door to Shae’s room remained closed.

Straining their ears, and a bit of their magic, they caught snippets of voices from downstairs. All familiar, and the corners of their lips rose.

After some washing up and changin, Mine hurried downstairs, almost skidding off the final step in their excitement, if they hadn’t managed to grasp the bannister at the last second.

“Hey, careful there!” Shae’s voice rang out.

“I’m fineeee,” Mine said, hopping off the last step. 

Before Shae could rush to her side, she gestured for them to stay where they were, which they did. It would have been surprising if not for the other two guests currently present in the room. 

Sitting atop Shae’s modest armchairs were the Queen of the Seelie Court and her Máistirúin, glaringly out of place in the simple living room as they sipped green tea. Shae stood to one side, a soldier at attention.

“Mine!” Aífe exclaimed, immediately rising to her feet. Before Mine could take another step forward, she was by their side, throwing her arms around their rotund figure. “We were so worried!”

“Indeed, Her Majesty wouldn’t stop fretting since Shae’s visit,” Keagan grinned. 

“And the Master of Secrets barely slept, pouring over potential cures all night.” 

“What are you talking about? I never sleep, that was simply some after-work reading.”

Aífe rolled her eyes, before she gave Mine another squeeze. “Oh, Mine dear, you look so much better now!”

“I feel better. Your potion really works, I haven’t felt any pain at all since I woke up.”

Aífe’s smile grew confused, brows furrowed. “My potion? Darling, that should have worn off ages ago.”

“What? But…” Mine touched their chest. 

Oh.

Oh.

That was the cure Mine needed, wasn’t it? Not making Shae love them, not removing the part of them that loved, but instead allowing themself to be vulnerable, to be fragile and small, and finding that place where they could be accepted.

Where their heart could rest.

Mine understood now. It wasn’t just grief or pain that had allowed the disease to blossom, but rather, a weary heart crying out for a place to rest.

And with Shae, Mine had found it at last. 

“It shouldn’t come as a surprise you’re better now, considering everything,” Keagan spoke. 

They nodded. “You’re right. I guess I just needed to be a bit more…selfish.” 

Mine exchanged a look with Shae, who didn’t smile, not in front of their superiors, but tilted their head in acknowledgement, their gaze gentle.

“And aren’t we all grateful for that, dear,” Aífe pulled Mine closer to the cluster of couches and armchairs. “Honestly, Mine, you’re far too nice for your own good sometimes.”

“To your own detriment a lot of the time,” Keagan added.

“I get it, I get it. I shouldn’t try to carry everything on my own, blah, blah.” 

“Yes. Now sit, sweet, you shouldn’t be on your feet so long.”

They wanted to protest, but recalling how much they had worried their friends, Mine allowed Aífe to push them towards the loveseat. While she returned to her own seat, Mine plopped down and poured some tea for themself.

“Shae, stop fidgeting and just sit down next to Mine,” Aífe spoke. “I’m feeling awkward just looking at you.” 

“Oh, um, of course, Your Majesty.” 

They took their place by Mine’s side, bumping shoulder against shoulder, and warmth bloomed in her chest at the touch. They accepted the cup she passed over, taking a long sip.

“I thought things would be a little different after you two got together,” Keagan said, “but nothing’s changed, eh?”

Mine paused, her teacup frozen in midair, halfway to her mouth. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, Mine, I didn’t think you’d be this shy too!” Aífe laughed. “Come on, you two lovebirds, it’s fine to be a bit more affectionate. We won’t judge. Not much anyway.”

Mine set her cup down, gaping. “What are you talking about?”

“Hmm? Shae, didn’t you say––”

“It’s alright, Your Majesty, I must have been mistaken.” Shae said as professionally as possible, despite the fact their face was on fire.

“Ah, so they did nod off before hearing you.”

Mine watched on in utter confusion. “Can someone please explain what’s going on?”

“Yes, why not clear things up?” Keagan leaned back, his grin wolfish. Before anyone––Shae really––could stop him, he said, “Mo chara, it seems that Shae here confessed their feelings to you in the glade.”

Mine’s eyes bulged out of her sockets, swerving her head to look at Shae whose gaze was firmly fixed on their teacup. “WHAT?!”

“I thought you heard me!” Shae protested. “You, you thanked me!”

“I mean––I mean, I kinda did, but it was all fuzzy…” 

What had they said again?

“...don’t want…stop…….love…too.” 

Mine gasped, putting the pieces together. “OK, wait, so when I was falling asleep, did you––did you say something like, you didn’t want me to stop saying ‘I love you’. And that, you, you––” In a smaller voice, she finished, “––that you love me too.”

A garbled, squeak? Grunt? Well, a mixture of those noises escaped Shae as they buried their face in their cupped palms. 

“Wait, I’m right?!”

“Obviously!” Shae snapped. “And here I thought…” They grumbled into their hands some more. 

“Shae was under the impression the two of you were together now, and that it had helped cure the disease,” Keagan informed merrily.

Shae lifted their head, as if to retort, but simply scowled, before going back to covering their face.

“Eh?” Mine turned to Keagan, “Eh?” Then to Aífe, “Eh?!” And finally, to Shae. “So, Shae, you, you do like me that way? You, actually want to be with me? Seriously?”

“Mine,” they said, voice muffled by their hands, yet the exasperation clear as sunlight, “do you really think I would have said any of those things to just anyone?”

“Yes, Mine, do you really think Shae here would have declared their love to just anyone?” Aífe piped up.

Shae groaned, the tips of their ears starting to redden. 

Meanwhile, Mine was beginning to feel light-headed, her face heating up. 

“I’m surprised you aren’t jumping around the house right now, screaming with joy,” Keagan commented.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong! I am happy. I just, I actually expected Shae to reject me so this is, um, kinda surprising…and overwhelming…and uh, I think I need more tea.” She lifted the teapot. “And oh, would you look at that, we need to make more tea. I’ll just go…do that…”

“I’m coming with you,” Shae said, jumping to their feet.

“Sure, go make the tea. We’ll leave you lovebirds alone,” Aífe purred, while Keagan snickered beside her.

Despite Mine being the one to suggest brewing more tea, Shae grabbed the teapot from her once the two of them were alone in the kitchen. After they had set it by the sink, they grabbed the kettle and started boiling more water. 

“What tea?” Mine asked, going over the tea leaves.

“Somethin’ those two will like. I’ve never entertained either of ‘em, so I don’t know what that is though.”

“Oh, black tea then.” Mine handed the tin over, and Shae accepted. 

As they waited for the kettle to whistle, Shae turned to her.

“So––”

“You thought I was goin’ to reject you?!”

Mine blinked, before tugging at her braids sheepishly. “Well…”

“What in all of Tír na nÓg gave you that idea?”

She gawked at them, almost offended.“You did! You did, when you were like ‘oh Mine, hypothetically, what if I did reject you? ’”

“It was hypothetical! That’s why I put it at the beginnin’ o’ the sentence.”

“And how was I supposed to know?! I can’t read your damn mind.”

“You could have asked!”

“I thought you were gonna reject me. If I asked, it would be like begging to speed up the process.”

“I wasn’t goin’ to reject you!”

“Again, how was I supposed to know? ”

“ Asking. ”

Mine exhaled through her nose, an annoyed puff of air, then tried again. “Look, I thought you were gonna reject me, SO if my assumptions were right, asking you would bring the worst conclusion.”

“You were wrong though.”

“That’s not the point!” She threw her hands up in the air, pacing until she rested against the counter. “Shae, if you thought I was going to reject you, would you have asked me to confirm that?”

“Mine, to begin with, I would never, ever bring that up directly to anyone. Rejection or no, my feelings can die with me.”   

“Yeah, OK, fair point. But do you see where I’m coming from here?”

Shae sighed, relenting. “I do. I’m just…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m just mad, ‘cause I didn’t realize you were goin’ through any o’ this at all. I didn’t realize you were dyin’, I didn’t realize how much I was hurtin’ you.” Another sigh, wearier this time. “I was with you th’ whole time, but I was just..useless.”

“What, no!” Mine was at their side, hands grasping their shoulders. “No, no, of course not. You helped! A lot. Like I couldn’t make it to the bathroom without you.”

“‘Cause you were slowly bein’ killed. By the disease that started from your feelings for me.”

“...yeah sure, when you put it that way, of course it sounds bad.” Mine squeezed their shoulders in reassurance. Hopefully her encouragement was conveyed, somehow. “But actually I don’t think the disease started from you per se. It was just…the last straw.”

“The last straw?”

“Mhmm. Even before I fell for you, I was already hurting from all my other rejections before. I never really, dealt with them? Well, not the worst of them anyway. I just forced myself to move forward each time, but I never let any of that pain go.

“Um, but in the glade, when you told me to be selfish, it felt like you were telling me those rejections were wrong. That it was fine to be me. That I could be loved for being me.” 

Not just as flirty Mine, or bubbly cheerful Mine, or the Mine that made everything better and everyone happier. Just as themself, plain old Mine, who cried a lot, and felt things too intensely, and was sensitive and fragile and weak.

Yes, even those parts of themself that didn’t shine, that people preferred to turn away from, those parts could be cherished too. 

“You made me feel like it was a wonderful thing being me, down to the tiniest piece. And I’ve been searching for that, that acceptance for so long, and I found it…with you.”

“Me?” they squeaked, and Mine couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yep! That’s why the disease stopped. Not only because you loved me, but also cuz you let this heart––” Mine placed a hand above the thrum of her heartbeat, “––cracked and tired as it was, find a place to finally rest. A place to call home.”

The kettle whistled at that moment, breaking the spell, and Shae slipped out of Mine’s grasp. They started to steep the tea, while Mine returned to her earlier place by the counter, humming as she watched them work. 

Shae preferred doing things alone in the kitchen, or at least less of Mine’s meddling. 

“I really thought you heard me.”

“Hmm?”

“At the glade, I thought you knew. You said thanks, an’ you looked so happy, an’ I thought…”

“To be fair to me, I was on death’s doorstep and also like super out of it. I can’t be held responsible for anything I said or did in that state.”

Shae turned, eyes narrowed, arms folded. “You told me you found me so beautiful it made your heart ache.”

“Not responsible, but that is true.”

They rolled their eyes, a small smile tugging on their lips. “Seems to me like you’re as shameless as ever, fatal disease or no.”

“I think I have even less filter right now,” Mine admitted. “It’s been shocked out of me by your confession. I’ll tell you all the gooey, mushy stuff I think about you all the time right now if you want.”

Shae grimaced. “Maybe not right now. Bother me later.”

Mine froze, stunned speechless for a heartbeat, before a wide grin broke across her face. “You were serious about letting me trouble you?”

“If I said it, I meant it. Why else say it?”

“True.” That sounded like Shae. She clapped her hands together. “Oh! Can I make a request then?”

“Depends.”

Mine leaned back on the counter, twiddling her fingers, before glancing at them shyly. “Umm, since I didn’t get to hear it the first time…can you say it again? That you, you love me?”

Shae’s eyeballs bulged from their sockets, the blush returning with full force, up their neck and all the way to the tips of their ears.

Yet, they came closer anyway, stopping directly in front of her. To Mine’s surprise, they stepped forward, narrowing the gap further, as they rested their hands on the counter, on either side of Mine.

Mine’s heart trilled in her chest, and her smile widening enough to make her cheeks sore.

Shae took a deep breath, leaning in closer, and in a voice only loud enough for her ears, they said, “I love you, Mine.”

Such simple words. Such a short sentence. Just a handful of syllables.

And yet, from that alone…

Adoration, joy, appreciation, longing, delight and love, love, love flooded Mine’s heart, the emotions exploding like a vivid flower bursting to life. Oh, to scream her joy from the rooftops, to race through the city and sing of her love!

Mine’s own face felt heated, a little light-headed again, but she threw her head back and giggled, drunk on delight.

“Hey, don’t laugh,” Shae reprimanded, but when Mine peeked, they were smiling, their expression so tender, so soft.

“I’m not laughing at you, I promise. I’m just…I’m so happy! I want to twirl you and sing! I want to scream and dance!” More chortles escaped her, giddy and high-pitched. “I don’t know whether to cry or laugh.” 

Shae wiped a tear away. “I’d say you’re already doing both.”

She giggled some more, while Shae rolled their eyes, fondly.

“Thank you, for indulging me,” Mine said, once she had managed to calm down.

“Just this?” they snorted. “Barely counts as indulgin’.”

“Oh? What would you consider then?”

Instantly, their gaze dropped to the floor, mouth pressed together in a tight line.

Mine tilted her head, eyes bright with curiosity. “Shae?”

“A k––kiss. Somethin’, somethin’ like that.”

“Oh! Yeah, that would be, right? Haha.”

Shae glanced back at her, as if they had more to say, and the message clicked in Mine’s mind.

“Would you like to kiss me?”

Slowly, they nodded. “Er, I’d rather you, um, lead. I don’t have much experience with these things.”

“But you definitely want to kiss me, right?”

Another strange medley of sounds poured out, something between a cough, a yelp and a squeal, maybe another squeak thrown in too.  

She bit back a chuckle. “OK, OK, just checking.” Mine placed her hands on their hips, pulling them closer, almost onto her lap. “Comfortable?”

Shae coughed. “Um, yes, er, should we switch place––”

“Nah,” Mine said. “Close your eyes.”

Shae swallowed, but did as they were told, and Mine lowered her head. 

Stopping her lips beside their ear, she whispered, “Just kick me or something if you want me to stop.”

Their eyelids flung open, and Shae burst into guffaws, shoulders shaking. “That was terrible! Not romantic at all.”

Mine laughed along, gently sweeping their fingers off from the counter to tangle with hers, and gave their hands a small squeeze. “C’mon, Shae, this is only fun if both of us are enjoying it. There’s no point otherwise, so just relax, OK?”

“...I’ll try.”

“Here, let’s hold hands. Yeah, just like this. You can give me a squeeze too.”

They guffawed again, and to Mine’s delight, they did squeeze back. “Alright.”

“Let’s try again, from the top. Close your eyes.”

Shae wasn’t quite jumping at the opportunity, but this time, there was no tension in their shoulders, their head lifted a little higher than before. With a small sway of their intertwined hands, Mine leaned down, letting their lips brush together.

The kiss didn’t explode into fireworks, it did not crash over them like a tsunami, but where their lips met, it felt like something was blossoming between both of them, small and sweet and secret. A patch of dandelions blooming in a hidden glade, a secret just for the two of them.

And as Mine pulled back, they could see Shae felt the same.

Shae ducked their head, cheeks rosy. “That was…nice.”

“Isn’t it? I’ll kiss you more if you like.”

Shae sputtered, almost pulling their hands away, if not for Mine holding tight, refusing to let go.

They peered at her obstinate expression, before sighing. Taking half a step closer, they rested their head on Mine’s shoulder, who barely stopped herself from gasping. 

“Tell me it gets easier.”

“Kissing?”

“All of it. All this, this romance stuff.”

“There, there.” Mine raised one hand to pat their back. “I mean, you’ll probably get used to it sooner or later. You got used to me, right?”

“Barely.”

“Ah well, we have the rest of our lives to figure this out, don’t we?”

Shae laughed. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Oooo, was that a proposal we just missed, Keags?” An elegant voice like silk pierced the air, Shae stiffening in Mine’s arms at the sound.

“Why I do think so, Your Majesty.”

Leaning against the doorway, with identical mischievous grins, were Keagan and Aífe, shamelessly watching on.

“What are you doing here?” Mine blurted out, keeping her hand steady on Shae’s back.

“We thought the tea was taking a little long,” Keagan answered, as Aífe snickered behind her hand.

“What––” Shae cleared their throat, though they still didn’t turn, still on Mine’s shoulder, “P––pardon my rudeness, but, but what are you two doin’ back here?”

“Oh, just making sure darling Mine hadn’t collapsed. Wouldn’t want you to have to handle that all by yourself, Shae.”

“Though it seems like you two are handling things well.”

Ah, there was that garbled squeak, grunt thing again. Mine threw her arms around Shae’s shoulders, holding them close and firm against her.

“We’re fine,” Mine answered. “Tea will be out soon.”

“Don’t rush on our account, mo chara.”

“Oh yes, we wouldn’t want to interrupt the good mood you two have going.”

Mine stuck out her tongue, and the two at the door laughed in response. “Give us some space, both of you.”

“Alright, we’ll be awaiting your presence in the living room, dearest Mine.”

“Hopefully it won’t take another half hour this time.”

“It won’t! And we’ll be out soon. Shoo, shoo already, Aífe, Keagan.” She waved her hand, gesturing for both of them to go.

With another round of laughs and loud whispers, the two guests left, returning to the living room.

A minute passed, and Shae raised their head, whispering, “Are they gone?”

“Yep.”

“Thank the gods.” They sighed. “I’ll never hear the end o’ this, will I?”

“ We will never hear the end of this, Shae.”

They grimaced. “Yeah. Though, er, maybe we shouldn’t have been huggin’ so close, in––in front of them.”

“Oh no!” Mine immediately released Shae, though it was too late at this point. 

Embracing them like that, it must have made the situation appear more intimate and embarrassing, not helpful to Shae at all. Worse actually for them.

“I’m sorry, I should have shielded you behind me, I wasn’t really thinking––”

To their surprise, Shae grabbed her arms and threw her limbs back around their shoulders. They didn’t face Mine this time, their back pressed against her soft stomach. 

“It’s fine,” they mumbled. “Keep hold–holdin’ onto me.”

“Al–alright,” Mine squeaked, her face growing heated once more. 

“Let, let’s get back to the t–tea.”

“G–good idea.” 

It occurred to Mine partway that their current position together might be awkward for preparing tea, but Shae appeared unbothered, or rather, they seemed reluctant to separate. So, Mine said nothing and simply waddled along to their movements, trying not to get in their way. 

 As the milk and the sugar were placed alongside the teapot on the tray, Shae cleared their throat, turning their head slightly to look at Mine.

“Uh, about earlier, with those two, th––thanks.”

“Oh…oh! That, it was nothing, don’t worry about it. Um, happy to help and all that.”

Surprise of surprises, Shae chuckled. “The Queen was right, you are too nice.”

It sounded like a good thing, a compliment, but Mine ducked her head instead, burying the lower half of her face in Shae’s shoulder to hide her blush. 

“What are you doin’?”

“You caught me off-guard again,” she mumbled into their tunic. “Meanie.”

“What? I’m not doin’ anything. Get off me, we need to serve the tea.”

“No. Not unless you kiss me first.”

They didn’t sputter, just a small huff, as they glanced down at Mine. While she refused to look at them, she could tell they were judging her with that stare.

Minutes passed, and well, Mine couldn’t hold on forever.

However, as she moved to loosen her grip, there was a light peck against her forehead, the subtlest of touches.

Mine froze, light-headed again.

“Happy? Shae asked.

Instead of answering, a muffled screech erupted from Mine, barely suppressed by the fabric of Shae’s tunic.

“Mine?!”

Mine raised her head. “I love you so much, Shae, I love you so, so, soooo much.” The hug tightened, Mine squeezing them.

“Oof, I get it, alright? Now, come on, before the tea gets cold again.”

“One more kiss?”

“No.”

“Fineeee,” Mine pouted, releasing them.

Shae lifted the tray while Mine made her way to the door, waiting for them.

As they were about to pass through the door frame, Shae paused, glancing up at Mine. 

In a quiet voice, barely audible, they said,“If you want more, you’re goin’ to have to wait for later.”

Mine’s jaw dropped, forming a perfect ‘O’, as she gawked at them.

Shae wisely turned away, their strides becoming longer and faster as they hurried away from Mine.

“Shae! Wait up!” Mine called out after them, breaking into a run.

True to their word, once their noble, teasing guests had left the outpost, Mine would get one more kiss from Shae…and several more too, just for good measure.