Chapter Text
It was dark and quiet, there was no concept of time and space and if there was he really couldn't say, he couldn't feel anything except that it felt like drowning and floating all at once. He wasn't waiting for anything, he couldn't remember anyone, it was just a sense of calm, he finally has peace and he fails to feel sorry for the people he left behind, his family, his wife, his friends. But nothing seemed to matter.
This is the end.
He had many regrets but thankfully he couldn't recall any of them.
'Do you really want this?'
A voice says and Stan startles because he couldn't hear the voice with his ears, it seemed like the voice was in his head, but he tries to answer.
'Yes, I would've held them back. I was no use to anyone. It's better this way.'
There was a pause and Stan thought he was finally left alone but then the voice spoke again,' Do you want to be useful to the people you love? People, who need you, do you want to try again?'
Stan growled irritated, why couldn't he be just left alone?
Then.....
Stan wakes up and he immediately knows something is wrong because.....why would he wake up? He blinks against the bright light before he hears a voice filled with relief and depletion, "Oh sweetheart! You're awake! How do you feel? Do you need water? Does it hurt any-"
"Honey, please." He hears the familiar voice of his father, but it's fond and filled with solace, "Give him space and allow him some breathing room."
Stanley doesn't know what shocks him more his mother's alive and young face or his father's extremely worried and young face, but then the young factor kicks in, and surely he is dead.
"Am I in heaven?" He asks hopefully. He always wanted to go to heaven.
"Oh, sweetheart." His mother is wearing a sad broken expression that Stan finds himself matching.
"Are we in hell?" He asked in a panic.
"No of course not!" His father says sternly and then informs in a much softer voice "Son, you are in the hospital, you had an accident remember?" It was worried in a way that Stan hasn't heard in quite some time,
"The doctors said-" His mother is choking before she continues, "Stan, honey why didn't you tell us? Why did-" she breaks off and Stan couldn't help how the words cut open his heart, he looks down and sees his hands but they are tiny and his wrists were covered in bandages. These were not his hands. He actually couldn't remember his hands being that small.
"Andrea!" His father hisses at her in a way he had never heard before, "stop, this can wait, can it not?"
His mother throws herself on the side of his head bed gently touching his injured wrists, and sobbing like a child.
"What happened?" He asks his father because his mother crying might be the worst thing he had ever seen, "Did I hurt myself or something?"
His father stares at him with that unreadable face that Stan always hated, he looks at his father beseechingly and sees him crack, his eyes are moist, and even though he is holding himself pretty well now, Stanley can see the puffiness of his eyes, and how he is clenching his jaw.
"D-do you not remember?" His father asks and Stan shakes his head, he looks at his at the shinny handle that reflects the image of his eleven-year-old self back at him and although looking at his hands gave him an idea of what to expect he still resisted the urge to scream.
"You were in an accident."His father repeats eventually and both Stan and his mother look at him, his father is lying and that much is obvious, and he knows what his father is trying to do and why, but he was not stupid, even his old self would have been able to figure out, but what he can not pinpoint is why?
What did his eleven-year-old self have gone through to do this? His first thought was 'Pennywise'. And he felt his old fear starting to grip him, he tried to tangle his fingers with her's it was reassuring and his father was standing over him like an Angel of Death, protective and ready to snap at anyone who looked at his son the wrong way, and Stan takes a deep breath because his chest was warm with uncontainable affection for his parents.
"Soooo," He said trying for casual, "I feel woozy, how many drugs am I on?" 'Eddie would have answered that from him if he was here,' and that thought made him frown, "Where are my friends?"
"Who?" His mother asks frowning, "Did you make any friends at your new school?"
'New School?' That was weird, even if this was some kind of time-reversal shit, Stan had been born in Derry and lived there till his adulthood, did he move to a new school in Derry? Or did he move from Derry to some other school where he was new? if Stan did go back in time many things were already changed, his mother being alive and his father being protective and affectionate, even sliting his wrists did not make sense because, despite the 'Pennywise' debacle, his time with the losers was one the best time of his life.
'So what the fuck was going on?'
"Maybe," He said cryptically just to avoid further questions he himself didn't know the answers to yet.
There was a knock and then a doctor was entering the room, he gave Stan a kind smile before he regarded his parents, with a harsh look, "Everything seems to be alright, he will feel weak because of his the blood loss, I have prescribed some vitamins and blood replenishing medicines, you need to start him on a special diet as he has just presented as an Omega, so he'll be weaker."
The latter part of the sentence did not make any sense to Stan, he blinked in confusion when the doctor turned to him and asked, "How are you feeling Stanley?"
'High?' Stan thought but apparently, he had spoken out loud, as the doctor, cold exterior cracked and he smiled, "I feel very impaired and tried. The- I mean nothing hurts though."
The doctor nods again and turns to his mother who is watching him worried, "He will be fine Mrs. Uris. But due to the special circumstances, the police were called and they would need to talk to-"
Stan didn't hear the rest he passed out.
It really took a long time to convince the police once he woke up that he was not abused by his parents or bullied at school, the latter he really couldn't confirm, Bowers's dad was there looking at him with a sneer, which Stan pointedly ignored, he had better things to worry about than to wonder what's Officer Bowers had to be so anal about.
He had started gathering facts about what was happening, he was still not a hundred percent sure this was not purgatory, 'a very catholic concept Stanley,' or an elaborate dream, but whatever it was he knew a few things for certain.
One, Georgie Denbrough was still alive here and so was his mother, two, this world? Reality? It had all the same world events, three, they had some kind of sexist dynamic, Alphas, Betas, and Omegas. The details of which made Stan's head spin, especially when he was told that he was an Omega, which was a box he closed firmly to inspect later, four, the losers were in town but they were not friends, none of them were, well not exactly. Stan had seen Bill and Beverly who were dating apparently, he had stalked them, which, come to think of it, probably looked creepy. They were both Alphas, which mattered a lot it seems because they looked very social and popular, greeting everything with a pulse with disgusting warm smiles and their equally disgusting teenage sweetheart PDA, which, okay, to be fair to them they both were thirteen and were teenagers and so were Richie and Mike, who were also popular, Mike was not surprising, he was strong and handsome and made sense but Richie? He was apparently quite a lady's man, which made Stan internally cringe at the amount of 'dick' jokes he might be making and they were all friendly with each other. Eddie on the other hand was an Omega which Stan found out didn't make him popular, he was still a loner and sweet Ben was a Beta, and also a new kid like him.
And even though his father had tried his best, the rumors of his suicide attempt had made all over town and to his new school. So, kids and adults alike kept their distance from him when he went out for errands,-he was not cleared for school yet- which made Stan chuckle a little out of the blue on occasions which probably didn't help his mentally unstable Omega reputation. But Stan frankly didn't care, he had bigger things to worry about.
'Georgie', Stan couldn't stalk the little un-presented boy without feeling like a pedophile but he was worried, so he powered through, even if this was a dream, a hallucination, he couldn't just, not try. He had to make sure that there was nothing because, since his revivification, he had found out there were still kids going missing in Derry and he wanted to cry and scream because this might be the most unfair thing that was happening to him, post-suicide. Teenage angst aside.
Fuck, he missed the internet, he could've just stuck a GPS on the little Denbrough.
When that day came when Georgie went missing in his old timeline? Old World? It was raining heavily, the same as that day, Stan went outside wearing his mother's neon pink raincoat and black umbrella, and he ran towards the Denbrough's house, and then he waited and his heart was in his throat when he saw Georgie running out with a yellow raincoat with a boat in his hand.
He followed.
He trailed Georgie for two hours, but nothing happened.
Maybe nothing will happen? But Stan couldn't shake off the eerie feeling and choose to follow his gut and refused to leave. He couldn't take a chance, this was important. Then suddenly Georgie was running after his boat, Stan naturally followed but he froze when he saw Georgie bending down and talking into the gutter.
“Georgie!”
Georgie turns around. Stan sees Pennywise’s arm emerge and reach forward.
Stan reaches him first. There isn’t enough time to slow down, so he tackles the younger boy.
Georgie lets out a cry, but Stan ignores him because he'll live. He whips around and pulls out the kitchen knife he nicked and slashes it right across Pennywise's face.
The clown lets out a blood-curdling scream that resounds throughout the whole neighborhood, his face changes to something familiarly demonic and he can hear Georgie screaming behind him in fright, but Stan feels both terror and fascination go through him, and he wonders maybe he is sick in the brain in this universe, he gathers up his remaining bravery and stabs the clown in the cheek, he backs away when the clown starts convulsing, but he keeps watching and keeps Georgie behind him. He vaguely hears people running and yelling concerns at them but he couldn't look away from the clown until he goes away.
Stan feels strangely empty as he watches the slimy bastard slither away, he can feel hands on him pulling him back, a voice calling his name, and Georgie crying.
Stan sits quietly in a daze while the police finish questioning Georgie who is cuddled in Mrs.Denbrough's protective arms, they are at the Denbrough's residence and Stan hadn't said a word, as he had decided on selective mutism, he could feel everyone's eyes on him, Georgie, Mr. and Mrs. Denbrough's, Officer Bowers and another Officer named Garner but Bill's is the most piercing and when he had glanced up at him once his eyes were golden while he stared at him, Stan had not looked back at him since then, his parents were on the way and should be arriving any minute now-
"Sweetheart!" His mother cried and when to pull him in a hug and then lift him up like a child, Stan would have been embarrassed, but he just got his mother back, and well, he hardly cared what others thought of him, anymore.
"Your son just saved, his life." Officer Garner said while motioning at Georgie who had gone with the explanation that Stan had saved him from a clown-faced monster who took his boat, his parents and officer thought he was talking about a sex offender or possibly the serial kidnapper, they were looking for. Stan had sat without saying anything, with the rumor of his suicide attempt and mental instability, they had left him alone after he decided to just keep quiet, everyone apart from Office Bowers, but still they had called his parents and also hoped their presence would coax a confession out of him.
'Not bloody likely', Stanley snorts which causes everyone to look at him weirdly but he ignores them, instead of turning to his father, he gave his father the most pathetic look and saw his father crumble under his act, which, wow being a kid does have some benefits, not to mention his apparent 'Omega' status.
Officer Bowers who had been quiet narrowed his eyes, "We have some questions for you son." Does he get off on interrogating Stan?
"But-" His mother hugs him tighter and Stan returns Officer Bowers's look with a blank expression.
"We need his statement ma'am."
"Surely it can wait?" His father asks tightening his hold on him, "He's been through a lot-"
"Yes, I am aware." Officer Bowers narrows his eyes," But he has to-"
"No I don't," Stan speaks for the first time that day and all eyes snap to him and Stan stares at the officer coldly, "I don't fucking have to say anything Officer Bowers, unless I am being charged with anything I have full right to say 'no'. I-"
"Shut up kid," Bowers growls and everyone in the room stiffens, and their eyes are turning various shades of blue and gold, apart from Georgie who just looks scared and confused.
"Make me." He challenges and everyone gasps, now even Bowers looks taken aback.
"Did you use your Alpha voice on my child?" His father growls, it didn't matter that his son had brushed the Alpha voice off like it didn't do anything.
Stan ignores the slack jaw expressions he's getting and focuses on his father's statement,' Alpha's voice, huh?' he thought and left his face split into an unholy grin, "Oh then we'll be pressing charges." He informed the officer cheerfully with a smile, 'Alpha's voice' was a special ability Alphas had that caused a temporary daze where Omegas and to an extent even Betas, would obey their command. Although it was common for Alphas to use their voice to command Omegas and Betas, it was a minor crime depending upon what it was used for, but it turned into a serious offense especially if an Adult Alpha uses it against an underaged Omega or Beta who they do not have guardianship of, he turns back to his frozen mother, "Shall we mother?" his mother doesn't move, and Stan frowns but tugs her towards himself and she seems to snap out of a daze and looks down at him bewildered, "Come on mom, I didn't have breakfast. I am hungry."
They all turned to leave but he hears a voice behind them, "Thank you so much, Stanley!" It's Mr.Denbrough his eyes misty, apparently Pennywise did get hold of Georgie's arm as there was an adult's hand-sized bruise on his wrist, Stan knew that was the only reason the Denbroughs didn't persist on a statement but it won't last long, they will have questions when the police would hit a dead-end, the man then turned to his father, "We would like to invite you over to dinner whenever you are free."
Stan narrowed his eyes at his father who looked tempted, this was their first invite since they moved here a month ago, their new family not fitting in, as easily as they had hoped. Also, Denbroughs had Bill and Georgie, especially Bill who was only a year older than Stan,' They could be friends and Stan would have someone with him at school.' That is what his father was probably thinking.
He was startled when he realized Mrs.Denbrough, Bill and Georgie had all followed them out on the porch, they were all looking at him with various degrees of intensity, it seems the vehement expression ran in the family because Stan had to force himself not to react at the two pair of golden eyes and one pair of honey-colored ones were staring at him like he was the most fascinating thing they had encountered, while his mother, father, and Bill's father discussed the date and timings.
"Why were you there? Georgie said you used a knife, why did you have a knife?" Bill asked his voice devoid of emotions, this 'Alpha' Bill was different from his Bill, he was not charming to everyone and had a better poker face than anyone Stan had ever seen. There was no room to maneuver this, Bill was too smart and Stan couldn't have him suspicious of him this early, he can't protect anyone if he has Bill on his ass.
"Bill!" His mother hisses but Stan can tell she wants to know as well, and well that wasn't good, either. He needed to throw them off his trail, fast.
He came near them and covered Georgie's ears who looked at him startled with wide eyes and a red face, he made sure to make his face as pathetic as possible and turned to the matriarch of the family.
"I was going to kill myself. Again."
Mrs.Denbrough flinched shocked and even Bill's indifferent mask broke into a surprised expression, but before either of them could say anything Stan continued, he didn't need to fake this part, "Please don't tell anyone. Especially, my mother, it'll break her heart."
"Oh Stan, honey-"
"Sweetheart," His mother said interrupting whatever Mrs.Denbrough wanted to say and Stan focused his attention on her, apparently he's been too distant leading up to his or other 'Stan's' suicide attempt and she was always anxious, always wanting to coddle him but not wanting to push, Stan gave her his best smile and held up his arms in a silent demand to be lifted, she chided like it was a chore but her arms around his thighs and back were firm, it also gave him a good opportunity to just bury his face in her neck and forget everything, Denbroughs, losers, Pennywise and his other life, he just let himself be held and breathed.
He confronted Ben when he went to the library to research, Ben looked confused when Stan sat opposite him and smiled, the poor boy looked hesitant like he expected a surprise assault, or a cruel joke at his expense, Stan could relate, 'Ah childhood trauma,' and when found no one he turned back to Stan and nodded, "Hi."
"Hello, Ben right?" He looked surprised that Stan knew his name and nodded, "Hi, I am Stan, the crazy suicidal Omega."
Ben's face lit up in recognition, "Ah." He said eloquently like he was in front of Beverly.
"I need your help."Stan continued and Ben looked both cautious and curious and gestured him to go on, "I am looking at the missing cases in Derry. For personal amusement of course." Ben looked at him weirdly, probably because of the last part, but Stan did not have time to mince words, he needs to find out exactly what was happening and how to stop it before he tries to do something. He needs people.
He needs a plan.
"Um, the library doesn't have much, but I was- I mean these kinds of cases are interesting right? I have tons of it at home, I can bring it to school?"
"I would agree, but it won't go too well if either of us is caught with it right? By a teacher or a student." Stan said and Ben sighed nodding, "Can I come to your house to check it out? If you don't mind."
Stan resisted the urge to pinch Ben's cheek when his whole face lit up at the suggestion, "Yeah! Sure! Shall we go now?"
So innocent and pure.
"Sure," Stan shrugged and helped Ben gather his things and they made their way out of the library, they were halfway back to Ben's house when he saw, they were both chatting away and then Stan stopped when he heard loud laughter, he looked around and then located the source in the alley opposite to where Stan and Ben were.
Eddie, on the verge of tears surrounded by girls. What the fuck?!?
"Hey, Ben," Stan called who had also stopped beside him, "You go ahead, I'll be right behind you."
"Stan, don't!" Ben hisses, "those girls are Alphas!"
Stan couldn't tell, because even though he was an Omega, his senses were worse than a Beta according to doctors who thought it was due to trauma.
Stan had another theory.
Stan ignored him and walked over to the group of girls and Eddie who crying now, he was weak to Eddie, they all were, he was the smallest. But no one was fond of him as Richie was, Eddie was the earth that Richie circled like a lost satellite. Why wasn't he here to protect Eddie? Why was no one here?"
"Hey!" Stan calls out and it sounds acidic everyone turns to him including Eddie, and Stan recognizes one of the girls, Greta the bitch, but his heart almost stops when he clocks Beverly. She was standing on the side looking a little conflicted and hunched.
"Who the fuck are you?" Greta snaps and Stan's eyes move to her.
"Stanley Uris," Stan replies and hears Beverly gasp loudly.
"The new retard in school." One of the girls says and the rest of them snicker, all except Beverly who looked panicked.
"Greta no, this is Stanley Uris, Bill will get mad if you hurt him." She genuinely sounded scared and upset in a way his own Beverly never did.
"He'll get mad at you." Greta snorts even though the rest of the girls look hesitant at the mention of Bill's temper, "Richie won't let him let him do anything to me."
'Richie dating Greta?' Stan thinks he just threw up in his mouth a little.
"So, what you're doing out here? Out shopping for razors?" Great coos at Stan and some of the girls flinch at her indelicacy.
Stan snorts, "No, just this." He pulls out a butterfly knife from his bag and everyone steps back as Stan starts to swing it around, but only he looks at Greta with a blank face, "I could have one because, I was attacked you, see. I am so afraid the man will come back to take me away, so I am carrying all kinds of weapons. Do you want to see it? I haven't gotten the opportunity to practice my brick hammer skills yet."
Greta is pale by the end but musters a glare, and she yells, "Stand down!"
'It's an Alpha voice.' Stan giggles unaffected, and gets closer to Greta and now everyone steps back even Beverly, everyone apart from Eddie who is looking up at him in unadulterated awe he used to reserve only for Bill.
"T-hat's imm-possib-le!" Greta stammers and Stan smirks closing in on her his face as close as it can get with their height difference, he stands on his tiptoes.
"Don't you know?" Stan drawls, he feels crazy and hopes it reflects in his face, "I am the crazy suicidal Omega. I mean what are they going to do if I use it? Send me in Juvie? They can't, not with only Alphas in Derry's detention center, probably house arrest right? Then my record will be sealed, at eighteen, and besides, I was just protecting myself against Alphas, especially those who use their 'Alpha voice'."
Greta finally backs off and when she turns around she's trembling, 'Good.' he thinks nastily.
When they all leave Beverly softly says, "Thanks for helping, Georgie."
This was not his Beverly, his Beverly was amazing and strong, and she wouldn't have tolerated bullying. And even though Stan could see she didn't participate, she didn't stop it either, and Stan he felt betrayed.
Stan ignores her before he can say something nasty and bends down in front of Eddie, "You alright?"
Eddie nods and when Stan offers him a hand he takes it eagerly, "You want to come with us? " He asks and gestures to Ben who still bravely waiting for them. Pointedly avoiding looking at Beverly, he looks distraught and scared but he hadn't left Stan, and he feels warmth spreading in his chest at silent support.
Eddie hesitates but then nods, "My name is Eddie, Eddie Kaspbrak."