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At first Long Mian had… reservations… about allowing Jacob to rest in his collection room but he soon found himself not minding as much. And then their relationship changed and he found he loved seeing Jacob among his collection. He loved it so much in fact he hated seeing him leave. He'd try to get Jacob to stay as long as possible, tempting him with sleep and covering for him when people came knocking. But it never lasted. Eventually, Jacob always had to leave and Long Mian hated it. He wanted him to stay forever, wanted to preserve him forever with the rest of his things. He wanted to keep him safe and protected in the confines of his collection room.
He couldn’t though. Jacob wouldn’t appreciate it and the only thing Long Mian hated more than seeing him leave, was seeing him upset. So he kept his desires and possessiveness to himself. He’d kiss him good-bye and pretend it didn’t kill him a little to see him walk away, walk out of his collection. He’d see him here again later, he’d say to appease the beast inside. He’d walk back in and see him sleeping oh-so peacefully right where he belongs and the sight will be sweet enough to compensate for seeing him leave again.
Eventually though, even that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to simply know he’d be back, or to see him again in his collection. The beast raged every time and seeing him back again only made it worse. Yet, Long Mian pushed down the feeling and pretended as if seeing Jacob leave him didn’t make him want to encase him in ice like everything else of his. To find a place within his collection that was perfect enough for perfection. No, Mian would never do that. No matter how unbearable the feeling became, he’d never treat Jacob as a thing simply to be looked at. He knew he would miss talking to him, sleeping with him, holding him. He just wished he never had to leave.
Mian thought it would be fine, he could just ignore the beast and everything would be okay. Until the day Jacob got hurt.
~~~~~~
They had been on a mission, it was supposed to be a simple recon mission, but those damnable Union fools had to show up and ruin everything. It was just him and jacob, with a few of his subordinates, and they could’ve handled it had it not been for the Union’s “shining light” showing up out of the blue and daring to lay his dirty fucking hands on what’s his. He hadn’t been there for it either, which was worse . If he’s been there, if he wasn’t caught up with the fucking dog, he could’ve prevented it. He could’ve avoided this worst case scenario. Fuck, even if he couldn’t have he could’ve at least helped his fucking boyfriend instead of fighting some idiot mutt in a suit and a lost florist. Instead, he only found out when he sounded the retreat and his subordinates who were supposed to be aiding his perfection had already fled when Jacob was downed. He nearly killed them all for allowing this to happen. He restrained himself though, too occupied with helping Jacob.
The journey back to base felt like twice the time as when they left, and was altogether far too long for Mian’s fancy. His perfection may be dying and all they had were barely enough bandages and some antiseptic. Long Mian was fidgety, snapping orders and unable to sit still. Logically, he knew this was not helping anything and possibly making things slower but he wasn’t able to help it. He had been unable to help his love, and the beast knew he had failed his job. He could feel it simmering just below the surface, ready to snap and bite at anything and anyone who dared to defy it now. Long Mian only just managed to push it far enough down to not go back and tear apart those who dared to deem themselves worthy enough to harm perfection as the beast demanded. His control over this beast inside was limited, though, and he knew he could not contain it forever.
~~~~~~
He was sitting with his lover in the med lab when he felt the beast roaring and raging inside. It demanded he take him to his collection room, to store him in one of the preservation jars and never let him leave again and long Mian was hard pressed to reject the idea. Once he made sure with the scientist on duty that Jacob wasn’t going to die if he brought him out, he transported him to his collection room instead and lay him on the couch he put in there specifically for him to sleep on. He lay him down gently, and the serpent always following him curled around the couch in unwavering sentry. Long Mian sat down as well and positioned them so that Jacob's head was in his lap and he was stroking his hair. He doesn’t know how long he sat waiting for Jacob to wake, but he didn’t move an inch until he did.
Mian doesn’t know how, but his perfection wakes so gracefully and slow, it’s like watching the sun rise. He’ll twitch and his face scrunches up so cutely even puppies can’t contend, then ever so slowly stretch out his body so that every muscle, every joint, is moving and awake before he sits up and slow-blinks until his beautiful eyes open fully and they land on Long Mian and he smiles that wonderful smile and each time Mian can’t help but kiss it. This time was nothing like that. His love flinched instead of twitched and began mumbling nonsensical words and letting out soft, whimpering cries that broke Long Mian’s heart. If there was one thing he could request, it was to never hear that sound from his perfection’s lips again. Long Mian hastened his hand through Jacob's hair and murmured soft words of reassurance, though he doubted much of it was getting through. His love was a heavy sleeper. He thought it worked though, when the whimpering and moving faded out. He thought it worked until Jacob jerked so hard he almost fell off the couch and woke with a choked off scream ripped from his throat. The serpent at their feet raised its head with concern as Jacob panted and looked around wildly, without seeing anything. He stumbled to his feet and tripped over the coiled body of his companion. Long mian thanked his reflexes as he caught him just before he hit the ground. Jacob pushed at his chest, breathing still heavy, and not entirely sure where he was and who he was with.
“Jacob, love, it’s me. You’re safe, you’re in my collections room. Nothing can hurt you here,” at his words he could see his breathing slow, and felt him relax into his arms. The wild eyes fixed on one thing instead, which was his own.
Jacob opened his mouth, wet his lips, took a few heaving breaths before finally saying, “…Mian.”
“Yes. I brought you back after you fell and took you to a lab for treatment. The scientist there released you once he made sure you weren’t dying.”
Jacob took a deep breath and nodded, almost as if he was remembering the past events once more. He allowed Mian to sit him back on the couch and pull him into a tight embrace. Long Mian buried his face in Jacob's neck, savoring the feeling of truly holding him once more. feeling Jacob go lax against him was a treat of its own as well. They sat there for a long while, before Jacob leaned back, still holding tight to him, so they were laying down. Mian tried to wiggle out of his grasp to not put his full weight on Jacob's wound, but he simply wasn’t having it.
“My love, I don't want to hurt you. Please let me lay next to you instead of on you.”
Jacob just shook his head and pulled him back down with a deceptive amount of strength for his size. Long Mian was helpless but to agree. They lay for a moment more, with Mian’s fingers playing with the hair at Jacob's nape and Jacob's hands roving all across his back and hair, before Mian couldn’t help but confess.
“Please, never do that again. I don't think I could contain myself anymore if I came any closer to losing you.”
Jacob's hands stilled, before coming up to lock in place on the back of his neck. He made a questioning noise, one long mian recognized as persistent in a way he wouldn’t be able to go anywhere without answering. It was just a simple, drawn-out hum, with a hint of a question at the end that was truly more of a demand. Long Mian hesitated for only a moment before answering. If his lover wanted to know something, then he would keep no secrets.
“I get this feeling every time I see you leave. It is a dark and dangerous feeling, and I don't quite know how to react to it. It tells me to encase you in ice and place you among my collection so I never have to see you leave again. When i saw you unconscious and bleeding it raged, and when you were laying in that vile hospital bed it roared at me to take you here and never let you out. I… I do not want to tell it no this time. I want to keep you here so bad it scares me. I'm afraid I will do something rash and drive you away for good and even the very thought of that has me trying to draw away but i can not. I can not leave you no matter what, and I don't know what i’d do if you left me. I don't know what to do anymore, Jacob. This feeling has taken over everything.”
Long Mian didn’t move from his place in Jacob's neck even once during his heartfelt confession. By the end he was shaking slightly, and felt only moments away from crying — something he hadn’t done since he was a child first experiencing loss.
“Mian, I need you to listen to me, please.”
“Of course.”
“You could never drive me away. I understand that feeling that scares you because I feel something similar myself. The consuming feeling of possession that makes me want to wrap around you and squeeze if only so we never have to part. It would kill me to leave you for good, I'd never even consider the thought for a second. Leaving every day to return to my quarters takes a toll itself, and if I could stay with you here I would. Yes, that feeling is powerful but I trust you. I trust you to not do anything I wouldn't want and I hope you trust me the same way.”
Tears dripped few but free from Mian’s eyes. He squeezed tighter to his perfection before pulling back to look at him. Jacob cupped his face in his hands and met his eyes, open and honest and full of love. A certain hunger he’d somehow never seen before resided there as well, in the middle of it all. There, in his swirling, icy eyes Long Mian found the same feelings he was sure now Jacob found in his eyes as well. Mian brought up a hand to stroke his love's cheek, and kissed him. Long and slow they shared everything they both had been hiding in a single kiss. When they parted, Jacob was smiling a happy, lazy, contented smile that shone almost as bright as the sun.
“Mian.”
“Yes, my perfection?”
“I'm tired.”
Mian chuckled, soft and amused.
“Then sleep. I will be here when you wake.”
“Sleep with me?”
“Of course.”
And when they woke, hours later, day or night, Long Mian didn’t care. What he cared about was smiling at him, as bright as a sunrise, and he knew that the beast which once controlled him was quelled, though not felled, with loving words and a sweet kiss. The beast would return in due time but Mian was prepared for when it reared its jealous head once more.