Chapter Text
“I have a massive favor to ask,” James said, cornering Regulus after the final meeting of the day.
Regulus froze in the middle of packing up his bag, a legal pad in one hand and his briefcase in the other. “If you expect me to edit another one of your briefs,” he said, looking warily at James, “I am going to—”
“It’s not work!” James said cheerily, cutting off what was sure to be an imaginative but empty threat.
“Are you sure?” Regulus asked, continuing to glare suspiciously at him.
“Of course I’m sure.”
“Good,” said Regulus, with a heavy sigh. “I still haven’t recovered from last week.”
“That wasn’t my fault,” James pointed out. “I’ll have you know that Sirius was responsible for the — what’s the politest way to say ‘fuck-up’?”
“Fuck-up,” said Regulus promptly. “It’s the correct word. And as our good old Professor Dumbledore always said, we must take care to use the proper words for fuck-ups. Or something like that.”
James laughed. “Is that what he taught us? It’s been a while since I took Contracts, but I swear there was less profanity.”
Regulus grinned. “I’m paraphrasing, of course.”
“Such a hypocrite. You’d make a good trial lawyer.”
It was Regulus’ turn to laugh. “Tell me what you need,” he said, looking marginally more cheerful.
“Like I said, it’s not for work. It’s a more… personal favor,” James explained, retrieving a pen from under the conference table and adding it to Regulus’ bag.
Regulus scowled at this display of kindness. “Stop trying to butter me up,” he said, “and just tell me. You’re making me nervous.”
“It’s probably the six cups of cold brew you had today,” James said, gesturing at Regulus’ unsteady hands. He was struggling with the clasp of his bag. “But I do have that effect on people.”
Regulus groaned. He finally managed to close the briefcase and looked up at James, a challenging expression on his face. “What do you need?”
“I can’t explain in the office,” James said apologetically, shepherding Regulus into the hallway. “Want a coffee? My treat.”
This was a cruel trick — no associate would ever turn down an offer for free coffee — but it worked, just as James had known it would. Regulus followed him meekly to a shop across the street and allowed James to buy him a latte without complaint.
From: [James Potter, Esq.]
To: [Regulus Black]
Re: [Alumni Gala]
Reg —
Are you bringing a date to the alumni gala?
Perhaps a handsome alumnus? A brilliantly beautiful alumna?
J
From: [Regulus Black]
To: [James Potter, Esq.]
Re: [Re: Alumni Gala]
no.
(1) why do you want to know?
(2) i only hang out with other lawyers bc i’m paid to do so. why would i make someone else miserable by bringing them along?
if you must know, i prefer alumni to alumnae.
From: [Regulus Black]
To: [James Potter, Esq.]
Re: [Re: Re: Alumni Gala]
you realize i can see you googling the difference between “alumni” and “alumnae,” just to make sure you read my email correctly?
we’re in a client meeting.
at least pretend to be paying attention.
i like men. if that helps.
“I’m sorry that Sirius left you with so much work last week,” James said, paying for the drinks and leaving the barista a hearty tip.
“He might be good at prepping experts for trial,” Regulus said, “but if I have to watch him struggle through an evidentiary hearing again, I will commit homicide.”
“Fratricide?”
Regulus inclined his head. “The proper word. Very nice.”
When their coffees were ready — a plain latte with a triple shot of espresso for Regulus, a vanilla-raspberry latte with extra syrup for James — James retrieved them from the counter and brought the drinks over to a secluded table in the corner.
As soon as he sat down, Regulus immediately discarded his suit jacket and pulled off his tie. With his dark painted nails, tattooed forearms, and long white fingers decorated with several silver rings, it was hard to see him as the accomplished junior lawyer he was during work hours. He looked like a celebrity, a musician, someone cool and young and handsomely aloof. He had even unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, revealing a silver chain around his neck and the faintest dusting of chest hair.
In comparison, James felt somewhat overdressed, but he made no move to pull off his jacket. Spending time with Regulus always made him feel slightly wrong-footed, as though he could never quite know where he stood. They were colleagues — if he were feeling bold, James would even call them friends — but James was still hyper-conscious of every move he made, every non-work conversation they had, scared of scaring Regulus off.
It was late and the only other occupants of the shop were college students, looking harassed and sufficiently distracted, but James was still hesitant to explain his problem. Instead, he fished around for something innocuous to say.
“Do you want any sugar?” he asked, adding copious amounts to his own drink.
Regulus shook his head, making a face. “You’ve got such a sweet tooth. It’s disgusting. It’s a wonder you haven’t dropped dead yet from a sugar overdose.”
“If I do,” James said, grinning, “you won’t have to go through with your end of the deal.”
“Deal?” Regulus asked suspiciously, taking a sip of his latte. “You still haven’t mentioned what the deal is.”
“It’s embarrassing,” James warned.
Regulus shrugged. “I’m sure I’ve heard worse.”
“I don’t know about that,” James said. He stirred his coffee, half-wishing that he could drown himself in its depths.
“James,” Regulus prompted, looking expectantly at him. “What is it?”
“It’s my class reunion next month,” James said finally, once he could no longer pretend to find his drink interesting.
“Yeah?” Regulus asked, now sounding uninterested. He, too, had graduated from the same school, completing his degree only a few years after James. “I guess it is that time of year.” He paused. “What’s the problem, though?”
“Well, I — it’s embarrassing,” James said again.
“Okay,” Regulus said, clearly bored with the topic. “If you aren’t going to even tell me what it is, I don’t know what you want me to—”
“Come with me,” James said at once.
“What?”
“I need you to come with me and pretend to be my boyfriend,” James said, the words coming out all in a rush.
Regulus blinked. “What the fuck?”
From: [James Potter, Esq.]
To: [Regulus Black]
Re: [Client Meeting]
Send me that attachment as soon as you have a sec.
From: [Regulus Black]
To: [James Potter, Esq.]
Re: [Re: Client Meeting]
no
Attached: newclientintake.docx (78 KB)
“Let me get this straight,” Regulus said.
James groaned. “I just explained this three times.”
Regulus ignored him. “You lied to your ex-boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend is a strong word,” James complained, but Regulus ignored this too.
“You told him that you’re a partner in the firm?”
“What was I supposed to say? He kept going on and on about how great his clerkships were, and how much he loves his new job—”
“If he’s a lawyer,” said Regulus darkly, “he certainly does not love his job.”
“—and how great the partner track is at his firm, and I got jealous, so I may have exaggerated my position slightly—”
“And somehow you ended the conversation by claiming you’re in a serious relationship with your junior associate.” Regulus’ tone was coldly skeptical.
“I didn’t mean to,” James said at once, looking anxiously at Regulus. “He just called me a few weeks ago, asking if I was going to the reunion, and I—”
“Lied.”
James shrugged. “I twisted the truth.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow. “You know,” he said sarcastically, “that’s not the kind of candor I would expect from a lawyer in this sort of—”
“I couldn’t help it!” James insisted.
“Bet you could have.” Regulus took another sip of his coffee and looked questioningly at James. “Why did you feel the need to impress him, anyway? If you two are over, what’s the big deal?”
“He’s in big law,” James said despondently, putting his head in his hands.
“Oh,” said Regulus, suddenly sympathetic. “In that case… what do I need to do?”