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◼◼ turned his phone off with a groan, resisting the urge to throw the damn thing as he instead shoved it back in his pocket. Kaname wasn’t answering. Of course he wasn’t answering. He was probably on stage by now with that damned Kazehaya Tatsumi, about to make the worst mistake of his life.
◼◼ didn’t know the corridors of Reimei well, and there were no students and staff around to help him—they were probably all already at the auditorium, all waiting for their chance to do horrible things to ◼◼’s precious little brother. ◼◼ swore he would make every student here pay for that, but finding Kaname was his priority right now.
Finally, at the end of the hallway, he saw large double doors with the word ‘AUDITORIUM’ above them. He ran quickly, shoving the door open, not paying mind to anyone he may have hit with them. He was out of breath, panting heavily as he looked around frantically. His eyes stopped on the stage as he found who he was looking for—Kaname, standing besides Tatsumi as they explained their plans of revolution to the Reimei students
A wave of relief washed over ◼◼ upon seeing that Kaname was okay, but the feeling was short lived when he saw the expressions of the students in the auditorium. Their faces were twisted in rage, their eyes full of hate—and every single one of them aimed this expression at Kaname, ◼◼’s sweet, precious Kaname. ◼◼ desperately tried to push past them to reach the stage, but they were like an impenetrable wall that he couldn’t break through no matter how much he pushed and clawed at them.
◼◼ was screaming. He felt it, he knew he was screaming, begging Kaname to run, to get out of there now. But Kaname didn’t react. Kaname wasn’t looking at him at all—he only looked at Tatsumi, who ◼◼ was convinced was the devil incarnate at this point. ◼◼ opened his mouth to scream again, but he was cut short by the rageful cries of the Reimei students as they descended upon Kaname.
◼◼ tried to get to Kaname, he tried, he tried, he tried he tried he tried he tried—that’s all he could do. He would never be fast enough, never be strong enough, never be loud enough. He should’ve known from the beginning that someone like him would never be able to save Kaname, but he loved Kaname, so he wanted to try. But it didn’t matter. The love he had in his heart for his little brother was no match for the hatred of the students around him.
Only as Kaname was being torn apart by that hatred did he look at ◼◼.
“....!”
Pain struck ◼◼’s forehead as he sat up out of bed with a gasp. He struggled to breathe, clutching a hand to his chest as he tried to gather his bearings. He was in a bedroom—how did he end up in a bedroom? Wasn’t he just with Kaname? He wanted to be with Kaname, he needed to be with Kaname. It seemed his prayers had been answered as he looked around and saw a figure kneeling next to his bed—he couldn’t exactly see in the darkness, but ◼◼ knew only someone as kind as Kaname would want to be close to him like this.
“Kaname—”
“HiMERU-han…”
◼◼ froze as Kohaku switched on the lamp, the younger boy rubbing his forehead with a displeased expression. “Geez, I’m concerned about ya and ya just headbutt me like that…remind me ta stay far away from ya when yer sleepin’ next time.”
Ah…
That’s right. Right now, he wasn’t ◼◼, he was HiMERU. Right now, he wasn’t at Reimei, he was at a villa with the rest of Crazy:B on an out-of-town job. And right now, Kaname wasn’t here.
It was just a dream… HiMERU thought. It was a dream he was quite familiar with, but no matter how many times it had replayed in his head over and over, he would never get used to it.
“Oukawa,” HiMERU finally spoke, “I’m—er, HiMERU is sorry. Did…did he really headbutt you?”
“Yeah,” Kohaku answered, “I was kneelin’ over yer bed, tryin’ ta wake ya up, but then ya just shot up all suddenly like that. Ah, I ain’t actually mad about it though, so don’t worry.”
“Are you okay?” HiMERU said, looking with worry at the red spot on Kohaku’s forehead.
“Are you okay?” Kohaku asked, frowning. “I only came in here ‘cause you were makin’ a ruckus with all of yer cryin’. Yer lucky the other two are heavy sleepers, I’m sure they woulda heard you otherwise.”
“Making a ruckus…” HiMERU muttered, before he cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice as best he could as he said, “HiMERU is sorry for disturbing you. He just had…a bad dream, but there is no need for Oukawa to lose sleep over it. HiMERU will be fine, so feel free to go back to your room.”
“Even if ya say that, yer still shakin’ awful bad,” Kohaku said, looking HiMERU up and down. “Look, I’ll get ya some water, so stay here, kay?”
HiMERU didn’t have time to protest as Kohaku quickly left to go to the kitchen. He sighed, running a hand down his still tear streaked face. Sleeptalking was, unfortunately, a habit he had had since he was young. Usually it was just a source of embarrassment for him, but when he had dreams like that it was a cause of concern for his secret. He hoped Crazy:B would never find out, but he was grateful it was at least Kohaku confronting him about it and not Rinne.
Kohaku came back into the room, closing the door behind him and making his way to HiMERU. HiMERU scooted over as Kohaku sat down beside him, handing him the glass of water. “Here. Yer always goin’ on about how important it is ta stay hydrated, so I better not hear any complaints.”
HiMERU only nodded, accepting the glass and taking small sips. He put it on the bedside table, wiping his mouth before saying, “Sorry, again, for waking you.”
“S’fine,” Kohaku said with a shrug. “I’m glad I did. Ya seemed really distressed when you were sleepin’, I would hate if ya had to wake up alone like that.”
“Like HiMERU said, it was just a nightmare.”
“A nightmare, huh…Ya wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
In all honesty, HiMERU wouldn’t hate talking about it. The only person who knew of his struggles was Ibara, who was probably no one’s first choice when it came to talking about what haunted them in the middle of the night. HiMERU trusted Kohaku, but he could only trust him so much—in the end, suppressing his feelings was important if he wanted Kaname to have a future here.
Kohaku didn’t seem to mind, simply nodding with a small hum. The two sat in silence for a bit, and HiMERU was about to tell Kohaku to simply go back to his own room before Kohaku suddenly spoke up. “Can I ask ya somethin’?”
HiMERU paused, before asking, “Is it related to HiMERU’s nightmare.”
“No,” Kohaku said, “Well, it might be?”
HiMERU sighed, “What is it?”
“...Who’s Kaname?”
HiMERU froze. Shit. He had realized at the time that he had said Kaname’s name when he woke up, but a part of him hoped that getting headbutted would wipe the memory from Kohaku’s mind. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.
“You were sayin’ the name a lot in yer sleep,” Kohaku continued, “And ya called me Kaname when ya woke up. Didja think I was that person?”
“...Yes.”
HiMERU didn’t know why he said that. He knew that Kaname’s name had to be kept secret, that his very existence couldn’t be exposed—but something about Kohaku made him vulnerable. Something about Kohaku made him want to be honest.
“I ain’t ever heard you mention a Kaname before,” Kohaku said, pulling his knees to his chest. “And there ain’t no one at ES with that name, neither.”
“He’s…my family member,” HiMERU said, looking down at his hands. “My little brother. I dream about him a lot.”
Kohaku blinked, clearly surprised at the sudden change in how HiMERU was talking. He chose not to point it out, instead saying, “I didn’t know ya had a lil’ brother. I thought Rinne-han was the only one of us who did.”
“It’s…our relationship isn’t the same as the one Amagi has with his brother,” HiMERU explained, “So I could never really relate to him when he talks about it. That’s why I never said anything.”
“Ehh, ya don’t gotta relate to him to talk about it,” Kohaku said, smiling. “I barely know anything about ya, so I would’ve loved to hear about yer family no matter what. Does he come to our lives? It would be nice to meet him.”
“...”
Kohaku’s face fell as realization sank in. “Oh, gosh, I—I’m so sorry, HiMERU-han. I didn’t think he was…sorry, I shoulda been more considerate. Um, I’m real sorry for your loss—”
“He’s not—!” HiMERU began in a shout, before stopping himself. He breathed deeply, trying to calm down as he repeated, quieter this time, “He’s not d…dead. Kaname is still alive. He isn’t dead.”
Kohaku blinked, surprised at the outburst. He cleared his throat, trying to think carefully about his next response. “Uh…sorry. Just, you’ve never mentioned him before, and ya seemed to be havin’ a pretty bad dream about him, so—”
“It’s okay,” HiMERU said, “Just…something bad happened to him in the past. Something I should’ve stopped. But I didn’t—I couldn’t, I…” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “HiMERU has said too much. Oukawa, you should—”
“Ya said ya dream about him a lot,” Kohaku quickly said, turning his body towards HiMERU. He had finally gotten HiMERU to open up, there was no way in hell he was letting the older boy change the subject on him. “They can’t all be bad dreams, right? Ya have good dreams about him too, don’t ya?”
HiMERU paused, thinking for a second, before saying, “...Yes. We didn’t really get to meet in person much, but Kaname always spoke of what he’d want to do when we did get to meet up. I have dreams about those scenarios a lot.”
“Really,” Kohaku said, trying his best to keep HiMERU talking. “What kinda things did he want y’all to do?”
“Going places like aquariums, zoos, arcades,” HiMERU said, smiling fondly at the memory. “I hated crowded places like that, but I thought it would be tolerable if Kaname was there. Something we could both agree on was cafes. Our sweet tooth was something we had in common.”
“Kokoko,” Kohaku laughed, “Sounds like we’d get along just fine too, then~♪”
HiMERU chuckled quietly, nodding. He hesitated, before saying, “I’ve almost made that mistake before, you know.”
“What mistake?”
“Calling you by his name,” HiMERU explained, “I’ve almost done it before. You just…you remind me a lot of him.”
“I see…” Kohaku said quietly, “Here I was thinkin’ that Rinne-han and Niki-han were the only ones thinkin’ that ‘he’s our little brother’ crap. So it’s you too, HiMERU-han?”
HiMERU frowned. “HiMERU takes you seriously, Oukawa.”
“I know, I know,” Kohaku said, smiling. “I’m just givin’ ya a hard time. This Kaname fellow obviously meant a lot to ya, so it makes me happy that I remind you of him. I hope I can meet him one day~”
Oukawa and Kaname…
HiMERU thought, looking up at Kohaku. The thought of Kaname and Kohaku meeting and getting along, both being able to be in his life…It made HiMERU—no, it made ◼◼ unbelievably happy thinking about something like that. He wanted to tell Kohaku even more about Kaname, but looking at the clock, it was very late, and they
did
have work tomorrow.
“Yes, I hope so too,” HiMERU said, “I…thank you, Oukawa. I’ve never gotten to talk about him.”
“S’no problem,” Kohaku said, “I’m sure the other two would be happy to hear about ‘im too, ya know.”
“...Maybe one day,” HiMERU said, clearing his throat. “For now…it’s late. HiMERU wants to get up early to shower, so we should go to sleep.”
“Yer right,” Kohaku said, standing up and stretching. “I really was worried when I heard ya crying, so I’m glad yer okay. I’ll go now, but I’ll see ya tomorrow—”
Kohaku stopped as HiMERU suddenly grabbed his wrists, thin fingers latching onto him and refusing to let him go. He opened his mouth to speak, but HiMERU beat him to the punch.
“Stay, Oukawa. Please.”
HiMERU knew it was childish. He knew he was at the age where he didn’t need to be comforted after a nightmare, but the thought of Kohaku leaving, even if it would only be until morning, was unbelievably painful.
“...Sure thing,” Kohaku said, smiling smally. “Even HiMERU-han gets like this, huh? If Rinne-han heard about it, he’d—”
“—Please do not tell Amagi.”
“Kokoko, I won’t ♪” Kohaku giggled as he slipped under the covers, reaching over to turn off the light. “...I dunno what exactly ya dreamed about, and I'm not gonna force ya to talk about yerself. But I’m gonna be here for you no matter what I learn about ya. Ya know that, right?”
“...Of course.”
Kohaku nodded, laying down and scooting closer to HiMERU. HiMERU finally let Kohaku’s wrist go, and the younger boy reached down to instead grab his hand, intertwining their fingers. “G’night, HiMERU-han.”
“Goodnight, Oukawa.”
Right now, he wasn’t ◼◼, he was HiMERU. Right now, he wasn’t at Reimei, he was at a villa with the rest of Crazy:B on an out-of-town job. And right now, Kohaku was here. Despite everything, he was okay with that.