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He had touched a lot of people in his lifetime. Not touch touch. He had hugged them, patted their shoulders, and (occasionally) wrung their necks and broke their bones. But a featherlight touch from him wouldn't have made them flinch violently. It wouldn't have made them pale as a sheet or look sick.
Nico Robin accepted a lot of hugs from Nami, Chopper, and even Luffy. But, apparently, his was not as welcome. He was not upset, per se. Bewildered and maybe offended as he wondered what he'd done to reserve the hostility. He only held the smooth skin of her wrist to drag her away from the traps. She resisted, eyes widening as she flinched away.
It took him a moment to register what happened. And it took him weeks to finally understand what it meant. A portion of it somewhat.
His touch seared her. If a touch like that induced such reaction, an embrace would have burned her. So he did not.
And he watched her.
To see if she would crack.
Then came the slight tremble. So slight he would have missed. Her expression would falter and there's a sharp intake of breath as she forced herself to calm down.
There was it.
Perhaps, it wasn't him.
It was the moment. So abrupt and sudden that she had not the time to prepare her reaction when he grabbed her.
He did understand.
Somewhat.
She burned everytime.
There were days she hated herself. Days when she hated her humanity. Happiness could make her forget. But oftentimes, it opened wounds too, acting as a contrast to the life she led in the past.
Nico Robin lived two-thirds of her life running away. She had endured and survived — had done things to ensure her limbs and mind remained intact.
It was ironic that her devil fruit demanded that she touch. Her nerves flared and her muscles would contract.
The pain was visceral.
In the past, her aunt had struck her many times. The village kids threw rocks at her. Ones that hit her head and made her bleed. But those did not put a marker on her. They made no permanent scars — only a fleeting impression of what was to come.
The burn came when she had nothing but her hunger and desperation. She could remember figures over her, mocking her and taking as she laid limply and waited for them to end.
Their touch gave a lasting impression.
Their acrid breaths breathing over her face as they bound her wrists tightly.
Her breathing stuttered.
"Robin!"
Her eyes fluttered open. A pair of grey eyes stared concernedly as shudders wracked her frame. His hands remained at his sides, never touching.
Sitting up, she could only scramble away. Damn her for falling asleep through watch duty. Zoro's eyes continued to stare before he finally spoke hoarsely, "are you alright?"
"Yes." She breathed. "Fine. I'm fine."
His expression was skeptical.
"Just," he paused. "go sleep somewhere else. I'll take the rest of the night."
"I," she bit her tongue. "I'd rather not."
"Nightmares?" He asked.
"Sort of." She smiled tightly and turned away. "I'll stay with you."
He nodded.
Touch was a basic human need, the book told him. Of course, it was. The only flaw was how it was given. Whether it was a caress or a struck.
With a caress, she would flinch.
With a struck, she would recoil.
The oblivious ones would continue to give her wholesome hugs. It was not his decision to tell Luffy off that his hugs burned.
Robin enjoyed them despite the pain.
The ones who knew altogether avoided proximity. And Zoro was the only one who knew.
He ignored her questioning looks at his apparent avoidance.
I care for you enough to know, don't I?
Zoro thought it was silly — to show that he cared through putting such an extreme effort to physically avoid her.
"Swordsman-san, can you pass me the ketchup?"
He placed it down swiftly on her side before she reached for it.
"Do you want to play pattycake with us?" She asked, gesturing to Chopper who in turn stared expectantly at him.
He choked. His very struggle seemed to tease him a lot these days. Pattycake? That children's game of clapping and singing?
Sometimes, he thought she was being masochistic.
"No-," he cleared his throat. "I don't know how to play it."
"It's very easy." She said indulgently.
"No." He answered still.
"I could teach you."
"NO."
Zoro felt like he was bound to lose either way. With the troubles they found in their adventures, saving a nakama on the verge of falling, being sliced, or crushed was inevitable.
Fortunately, the crew decided to take a rest on an island. A vacation, the witch said. Their island exploration led them to a waterfall and a grotto.
"You insist on avoiding me still?"
She sat on his right. Zoro took the picnic basket from his left and scooted to place it between them. She looked at it with a flash of hurt.
He didn't know what to say.
"Er, sandwich?"
Robin frowned at him and he watched in his peripheral as she folded her long legs to hug them close to her chest. For a moment, she looked younger than him. Her dark hair was wet from her swimming and stuck to her cheeks and neck.
"I..." She began quietly. "your avoidance is unnecessary."
"I burn you, don't I?"
She shook her head. "Everyone does, Zoro."
His brows furrowed.
"But I can endure," she removed the basket between them, moving closer. Zoro inched back but she was persistent. He gulped as Robin leaned into him. "I appreciate your efforts. Really, I do. But the burn is nothing-."
"Nothing?" He almost scoffed. "You flinched when I touched you. I see you shake and sweat with their hugs and touches. For fucks sake, woman, don't lie to me."
Robin let out a shaky breath. "It is nothing because I can take it, Zoro. The touches make me anxious and I feel ill but I enjoy them." She paused and continued quietly, "a lot. My reactions are ... reflexes."
He went silent.
"Chopper told me I can slowly get rid of it."
"How?"
"Can you hold out your hand?" She asked. Reluctantly, he held it out. He was taken aback when she intertwined her hands with his.
"Through this." She replied. Her hands were cold and trembling. "Of course, Nami-chan's, doctor's, and Luffy's hugs are just as therapeutic but,"
"It's fine." He answered. "Just hand holding?"
She seemed to blinked back tears. "Yes. Maybe more."
END.