Work Text:
“Are you sure I have to?” Nie Mingjue asked, looking with pitiful eyes at Jiang Cheng.
“Yes,” Jiang Cheng said sternly, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. “I’m sick of you carrying around all this hurt and anger. I don’t want you to be ruled by them anymore.”
“I know,” Nie Mingjue sighed gustily. “I just would rather not have to open the wounds again, that’s all.”
Jiang Cheng nodded. “It sucks, I know. But I honestly think you’ll be able to get the closure you need now.”
“I hope so. It’s hard to trust him now.” Nie Mingjue leaned on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. Jiang Cheng took his weight easily, no longer having to take a step back. Their training regimen together had done wonders, not only for Jiang Cheng, but Nie Mingjue, too.
“I’m not saying you have to,” Jiang Cheng rebutted. “I’m just saying maybe he’ll see your side of the story now, considering.”
Nie Mingjue groaned. “Gods, I wish he hadn’t had to go through all of that. I’m not happy that he was hurt so badly. Damn that snake.”
“You might want to tell him that, too,” Jiang Cheng suggested. “It might help things?”
Nie Mingjue looked at the grimace on Jiang Cheng’s face and snorted a laugh. “How much did it hurt to say that?”
“A lot,” Jiang Cheng said promptly. “So you’d better appreciate it.”
“I do,” Nie Mingjue assured him, feeling the soft smile form on his face. In turn, Jiang Cheng softened, too, though his face flushed with that unflattering red blush Nie Mingjue loved so much. “I love you.”
Jiang Cheng raised his hand to thumb at the divot in Nie Mingjue’s chin. “I love you, too, my heart. Now go on, get out of here. The sooner you go, the sooner you can come back.”
Groaning, Nie Mingjue let himself sway from Jiang Cheng’s push. “Can’t you come with me? I’d feel a lot better if you were there.”
“So would I,” Jiang Cheng said, his eyebrows drawing down. “But I don’t think I could be silent if he started throwing accusations at you. Lan Xichen is surprisingly petty when he wants to be.”
“He is, and I wouldn’t expect you to,” Nie Mingjue agreed. “But you’re right, this is something between me and Xichen, not between you, me, and Xichen.”
“At least Lan-xiansheng will be there to defuse anything that happens,” Jiang Cheng offered.
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing,” Nie Mingjue rumbled. “He’s just as devoted to Xichen as ever.”
“He also recognizes that Lan Xichen did wrong by you,” Jiang Cheng told him. “I trust him to be fair.”
“We’ll see,” Nie Mingjue groused.
Snorting, Jiang Cheng shook his head at him. “Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing. Quit stalling and go.”
Groaning, Nie Mingjue hung his head. Caught. “Fine. A kiss, for good luck?”
“I see what you’re doing,” Jiang Cheng warned again. “Just one kiss. That’s it.”
“All right, all right, one kiss.” Nie Mingjue drew Jiang Cheng close. Jiang Cheng glared up at him, but the smile on his face belied any true irritation. Nie Mingjue lowered his head, Jiang Cheng lifted his, and their lips met in the middle.
Ah, there was nothing better than kissing Jiang Cheng. Just the way they fit together was heady, Jiang Cheng at a good height to kiss without having to bend in two. His lips were chapped but still soft, and moved against Nie Mingjue’s with ease borne of much practice. Nie Mingjue could and had lost himself in kissing those lips, feeling that body against his – but hands were pushing at him, pulling at the short hairs on the back of his neck. He came away with a groaning laugh, already missing the comfort and feeling of connection with none other than his heart.
“You get more when you come back,” Jiang Cheng informed him. He looked like he wanted to keep kissing, too, but he prudently stepped back before Nie Mingjue could dive in for more. “So hurry up. I’ll have dinner waiting for you, too.”
“You make staying more and more tempting,” Nie Mingjue told him, delighting in the smirk that crossed Jiang Cheng’s face, as well as the hands he put on his hips. “Fine, I’m going, I’m going. See you later.”
Jiang Cheng followed him to the door, handing him his outer robe. “Have a good talk?” he asked dubiously.
“Thanks,” Nie Mingjue gruffed. He was not looking forward to this.
“Better you than me,” Jiang Cheng said with that damnable smirk. Ugh, Nie Mingjue wanted so badly to go back to kissing him. The light in his eyes, that smirk, his everything, irresistible. But no, Nie Mingjue had to resist, he had a job to do.
So instead, he made a rude gesture. Jiang Cheng’s laugh was music to Nie Mingjue’s ears, and he carried it with him as he stepped out of his quarters and made his way to the receiving room of the Unclean Realm, where he would await Lan Xichen’s arrival.
:~:~:~:
Hours later, the sound of the door sliding open was another balm to Nie Mingjue’s senses. His feet felt leaden as he lifted them to cross the threshold, his entire body weighed down as if with iron chains. He was so tired, he nearly missed the sight of Jiang Cheng rising from the table.
“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng said.
Nie Mingjue hummed. “My heart,” he said.
“You look rough,” Jiang Cheng said, coming forward to put a hand on Nie Mingjue’s elbow.
“Don’t ask me how I feel,” Nie Mingjue answered. He went where Jiang Cheng guided him, folding to his knees when they reached the table. “I feel like I’ve been training with Auntie Zhao for hours. But all I did was talk.”
Jiang Cheng snorted. “Now you see why I avoid it as much as possible,” he snarked. “Have some tea.”
“Mmf, no,” Nie Mingjue pulled at Jiang Cheng’s sleeve. “Was promised kisses.”
“What are you, a child?” Jiang Cheng scolded. “You’re exhausted, you need to hydrate.”
“Kisses first,” Nie Mingjue demanded.
“Fucking hell,” Jiang Cheng sighed. “This is what I get for being in love with a stubborn bull.”
“Mmhm,” Nie Mingjue agreed. “Now come down here.”
Jiang Cheng came down. Nie Mingjue immediately leaned in for the first kiss, sighing as they met. Finally, he was home. Jiang Cheng’s arms came around him, one at his shoulders and one in his hair, playing with a braid as their lips came together and apart, together and apart, over and again. Nie Mingjue melted into Jiang Cheng’s arms, the tension draining out of his shoulders, his back the longer they kissed.
Eventually, they parted. Jiang Cheng looked at him, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. “Did you cry?” he asked, running light fingers under Nie Mingjue’s eye. “Your eyes are puffy.”
“And yelled, and stomped around the room like a child throwing a tantrum,” Nie Mingjue nodded. “I’m glad you told me to leave Baxia behind, she wouldn’t have made things any easier. Not that they were easy in the first place, but—”
A finger on his lips stopped him. “You’re rambling, my heart,” Jiang Cheng told him with a slight smile. The smile faded a second later. “Did Lan Xichen not believe you?”
“Oh, he believed me,” Nie Mingjue sighed. “The first thing he did was apologize. Then he started blaming himself for everything, and that set me off, and things kind of went downhill from there.”
He shook his head. “In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t lost my temper. Yeah, he hurt me. But Jin Guangyao was too good at misdirection, and he was determined to keep Xichen blind. Do I wish Xichen had seen through him? Of course. But I did let him convince me to try to keep Jin Guangyao on the wide path, so I’m complicit, too.”
“I don’t agree,” Jiang Cheng said. “I think that Lan Xichen knew something was wrong but didn’t want to see it, so he looked away.”
“I know. I said that, too.” Nie Mingjue put his head on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, felt Jiang Cheng rub at his neck. He melted into that with a bitten-off groan. “You know what Xichen said? He was so grieved by losing me, losing someone he cared for again that he clung tighter to the people he had left. Which meant Jin Guangyao and Huaisang.”
“Ah.” Jiang Cheng’s arms tightened around him. “Yeah, that.”
Nie Mingjue huffed a laugh. “Yeah. So I have to give him some leeway for that. As for the rest… we’ve agreed to work on it.”
“What?” Jiang Cheng pulled back to look Nie Mingjue in the face. Nie Mingjue let out a distinctive noise of protest. “Brat. What’s ‘the rest’, Mingjue?”
Nie Mingjue sighed. His heart wasn’t going to like this. “I’ve tentatively agreed to try and build a friendship again.”
Sure enough, Jiang Cheng tensed. Nie Mingjue waited for him to get up and start pacing, but surprisingly, he didn’t. “My heart?”
“If that’s what you want to do,” Jiang Cheng said, his voice tense. “Just don’t expect me to forgive him that quickly.”
“Of course not,” Nie Mingjue assured him. “Hell, I’m not forgiving him that quickly. He really hurt me, and that takes time to get past. I’m not even sure if I do want to get past it.”
Jiang Cheng stared at him. “Don’t you want to be friends with him again?”
“Sure,” Nie Mingjue gave easily. “But our friendship broke so easily before. What’s to say it won’t break again?”
He looked up at Jiang Cheng’s conflicted face and smiled softly. “That aside, I want to thank you.”
Jiang Cheng’s eyebrows came together. “For what?”
“For pushing me,” Nie Mingjue said simply. “I was reluctant to take this step because I was afraid of what I would do to Xichen and what he would do to me. But even though I did lose my temper, it was something I needed to do. If it weren’t for you, I would have put it off even longer and not gotten any further. So thank you.”
“There’s no need to thank me,” Jiang Cheng said dismissively. “You did all the work.”
“Because I knew I’d get kisses if I did,” Nie Mingjue teased.
“Shameless!” Jiang Cheng launched himself out of Nie Mingjue’s lap. Laughing, Nie Mingjue reached for him again, only to have a cup thrust in his face. “Drink your tea, you fiend.”
Nie Mingjue laughed again. How did he do that, he wondered, how did Jiang Cheng take his downtrodden mood and turn it all around? Already he was feeling better, less exhausted, less likely to use Baxia on something to vent his feelings. In her sword stand, Baxia stopped rattling, seeming to settle down like a great beast flopping down on the ground. He caught Jiang Cheng’s glance at the stand, caught the little smile of pride. Nie Mingjue’s heart swelled, and he reached over to catch Jiang Cheng’s hand and bring it to his lips.
“Thank you,” he said again, looking into Jiang Cheng’s eyes. “I honestly don’t know where I would be without you. And I don’t want to know, either.”
Jiang Cheng closed his mouth, looking away. “How do you do that?” he grumbled. “How do you take something like that and make it so sappy? Terrible.”
Nie Mingjue grinned. “You’re my heart,” he said. “How can I do anything else?”
As Jiang Cheng cursed and shoved at him again, Nie Mingjue thought that really, that was what it boiled down to. Without his heart, he was nothing. Without Jiang Cheng, Nie Mingjue would be in a different place, one without Jiang Cheng’s arms, his steadfast love, the way his actions shouted the truth of his character and not his words, how much he cared when he allowed himself to, was allowed to by others.
Nie Mingjue wouldn’t get to see Jiang Cheng’s smile, wouldn’t get to tease and be teased, be able to go to sleep and wake up in Jiang Cheng’s arms, see his face and the love there, and to return it.
Without his heart, Nie Mingjue would be living a colder, harsher life. Jiang Cheng’s place in his heart was a blessing, one that very easily could not have come to be. Nie Mingjue was prepared to devote the rest of his life making sure Jiang Cheng knew that, even if it took him years.
Even if it took him forever.