Archive of Our Own ^beta

A guest arrived.

The Qiu were the most prestigious family in the region, it was not abnormal for them to receive some high-status people as guests; as well as being the hosts of those who were going to some important meeting and needed temporary accommodation.

On this occasion, the traveler was from distant lands, beyond the forests and mountains, kingdoms that could only be found by crossing the seas.

The man was treated splendidly. A great banquet was served for him, dancers and singers were invited for his entertainment. At the end of his stay, he was so grateful for the good treatment that, before continuing on to his destination, the stranger left a gift for the family: a small statue of a God revered in his nation.

A statue of the Crown Prince of Xian Le.

The name alone was striking, knowing that it was an artifact from a distant country made it a treasure. The Qiu received and accepted it with enthusiasm.

However, sometime later, another traveler from the nation revealed to them a fact omitted by its former owner upon seeing the statue so familiar in his nation: currently, the Crown Prince of Xian Le was revered as a Rubbish God.

Even as he told them the tales and legends revolving around the Deity, his heroic deeds, the decisions that only reflected the goodness in his heart, or the story of how the Supreme Ghost King yielded to his magnificence, to the Qiu, possessing the statue of a Rubbish God was unheard of.

The image of the God was discarded the next day, abandoned to mingle with the useless objects forever.

It wasn't so.

Oblivious to everyone, one young man did listen to the stories surrounding the God attentively, marveling at every action committed and the results —good and bad— caused by the principles of such a peculiar God.

When no one was watching, he rescued the tiny sculpture from the dump and hid it under his bed.

In the evenings, he would take it out of his hiding place and watch it for a long time.

He didn't really believe in Gods. And, even if they really existed, he didn’t trust that he would obtain their mercy.

Shen Jiu didn’t pray to the statue of the God, it seemed to him a useless act; but he could spend hours just contemplating the design, imagining the unfolding of the stories he heard, questioning the veracity of the events.

Would it be possible for a man to live through all those hardships and still keep a heart clean of resentment? Shen Jiu wished to believe in that.

That faint hope, grounded in tales of a faraway and unknown place, accompanied him for years.

That little statue was the only thing he rescued from a burning mansion.

Only that object accompanied him after he left his life of crime and settled in Cang Qiong.

The statue of a Rubbish God.

Shen Jiu often found the name hilarious, but... wasn't it ideal?

If there was a God whom a worthless slave like him could follow, a deity befitting the scum he was, wouldn't it be, rightly, a Rubbish God?

—✧—

His one eye stared at the pieces of what was once a figure carved in stone, courtesy of Luo Binghe.

With Yue Qingyuan's death, no other torture had managed to arouse any emotion in him; so Luo Binghe played his last card: the statue that his Shizun watched every day inside the bamboo hut.

Assuming sentimental value, Luo Binghe took possession of it before the destruction of the Qing Jing, ready to use it at the right time.

It was a pity, Shen Qingqiu didn't even blink when it was broken. The scattered pieces only made his nostalgic, in the end, the statue obtained it original fate. Two dismembered bodies that would end up in the trash.

An unrecognizable sound came from his tongueless mouth. Before it was a laugh.

Luo Binghe thought that he felt some special bond with the god and that only amused him. He never said a word to the statue. At some point, he began to question why he even kept it.

He was not a believer, even at times when the thought that someone on a higher plane might hear his cries and soothe him made him pray.

Because it wouldn't do any good.

He was an insignificant human whose suffering was tiny in the midst of a whole world full of ailments. Why pray to a God who didn't even belong to his land?

Again, he was stubborn. Faith in forgiveness and change of the child marveling at a prince of a kingdom, dead centuries ago.

Insensitive to physical pain, Shen Qingqiu was still aware of the coldness on his remaining skin, his breathing increasingly slow and heavy, his limited vision was blurry and dark.

Luo Binghe, that beast, how many days had he not seen him? Time was already a forgotten aspect for him.

He used to leave his wounds open to prolong the martyrdom until his next visit, where his blood manipulated the blows and cuts, where his body was healed to restart the torture.

Now that he hadn’t returned, the blood was drained too much. Without healing care, the accumulated injuries were unable to continue to be endured.

He was dying.

That was fine. He never had any real appreciation for his life anyway. Escape from earthly hardship, nothing sounded more appealing than that.

The last vestiges of clarity were captured by a still recognizable piece of the sculpture. The subtle flower that the god held in his hands.

In his delirium of death, he thought about the events of his life. A series of events were looked back on, a thought, the question someone once asked him, the stories he heard in his youth and the message they left him.

With his body on the verge of collapse, a crimson liquid spilled from his empty socket. Tears were impossible in his state.

How much could have been avoided if he had abandoned his inner demons?

For as long as he could remember, he had been in a constant struggle for survival. A thousand heinous acts were committed, and, worst of all, even in his dying breaths, he still considered it stupid to regret them.

He is going to die, as well as all before him, by their hands or by his actions. What is the use of repentance now? What is the use of self-pity for his life and his end now?

If it was rubbish, why not be rubbish to its end?

He cursed with the last of his conscience.

He cursed his slavers, the origin of it all.

He cursed Qiu, for ruining his life.

He cursed Wu Yanzi, for corrupting his soul.

He cursed Liu Qingge, for dying before him.

He cursed Yue Qingyuan, for his silence.

He cursed Luo Binghe, for his mere existence.

He cursed the world, the one that turned its back on him.

He cursed life, the life he never had.

He cursed hope, for not perishing.

He cursed himself, for hating all of the above.

He took one last look at the lone flower.

And, for once, a prayer to the sculpture that accompanied him all those decades, to the remains of the God he refused to trust, was uttered.

'Xie Lian, Crown Prince of Xian Le, to you, whom adversity pursued; the prince of misfortune; the mockery of the three kingdoms. God of Rubbish, incarnation of goodness. The God who forgot the misery he experienced; the God who forgives all who wronged him. You, who fell twice. You, who recovered three times. At least after death, when I have left the restraint of my body, let my soul be freed from dark feelings. I no longer want to... '

The last breath of life was expelled, the hidden desire of the young man when he recovered and hide God; the request never uttered as he gazed upon the image of God; the hope that never died completely.

I no longer want to hold resentment anymore.

Flashes of red and white were his last vision.

Shen Qingqiu died.

—✧—

It was a distant call. Maybe that's what piqued his curiosity.

Someone thousands, perhaps millions of feet away, was speaking to him; and, among the immense prayers of his faithful, somehow that call was the most potent, the strongest. Whoever prayed to him was either too powerful, or unhappy indeed.

The voice was distant, the pleading intense. The words reflected despair, hatred and deep regret. And, through it all, hope prevailed in prayer.

Hua Cheng, of course, noticed his condition.

“Is something bothering Gege?

In another circumstance, he would only mention that he had work to do, not deeming it necessary to bother the Ghost King with divine matters. This time, however, the more he listened, the more intrigued he became.

“Someone, far, far away from here, is calling me.

Hua Cheng raised his eyebrow, mild interest reflected, though he might as well just be interested because Xie Lian was.

“Is that so? Your Highness wishes to take a look? There isn't a place in the world I'm not able to get to. If you want to go, I'll take you.

Xie Lian usually sought to refuse his help. San Lang always do a lot for him, he liked spending time together, but he didn't want to disturb him too much knowing that he had other responsibilities as Ghost City's Sovereign.

However, there was something about the voice he heard that was unsettling to him. The words used were not those of a normal prayer, it was more like...a last wish.

Suspecting the worst, Xie Lian didn't dare to refuse the offer or delay any longer.

He looked at his partner, who was quick to notice his determination, his restlessness.

“Please, San Lang.

Hua Cheng nodded, seriousness on his face. A pair of dice were thrown into the air, a portal opening to a horrifying scene.

Xie Lian covered his mouth with his hands, a scream was stifled.

Such an inhuman act could only be committed by a true demon.

A body... A corpse lay in front of them. All his limbs torn off, perhaps from a long time ago. Dried blood covering his clothes, the floor and even walls. How much had that man bled? Could he possess so much blood?

In the periphery of his vision, Xie Lian saw Hua Cheng guide his hand to the patched eye. A detail he hadn't noticed so far: the body also lacked an eye.

How much hatred had been directed at him? What evil could he have committed to end in such a grotesque way?

At their feet, pieces of stone lay scattered. For anyone else, recognizing what had once been should be impossible, but for them it was not. Too familiar with such monuments not to notice, they easily noticed the ancient form: it was a shattered statue of the Crown Prince of Xian Le.

Earlier, Xie Lian was surprised that the remote call had greater power than the believers from nearby temples, reaching his ears clearly. He thought it was because of the spiritual strength of the message bearer, but, in such a state, how could it be because of his power?

The reason turned out to be another, more heartbreaking answer for Xie Lian: it was because of that ruined statue.

An instrument of devotion, over time it is possible for it to obtain certain magical abilities. In the end, the owner of the statue must not only have been someone with outstanding cultivation skills to nurture it with a certain power, but also must have had some special bond with it. His faith in Xie Lian was powerful, enough for the statue to connect in its last breaths with the God it represented.

Tears fell from Xie Lian's eyes. Perhaps, had he arrived a second earlier, he would have been able to save that man.

However, he never asked his for salvation; at least, not in that way.

He remembered the last words of the lifeless man, words that were addressed to him. He knew perfectly well that death was coming, he didn't shun it, he expected it, he longed for it. Seeing his state, the reasons were obvious.

"After death," he phrased it that way. Xie Lian didn't have such amazing abilities that transcended into life, but, at the very least, he would make sure to give him a dignified burial.

He will also dedicate a prayer on his behalf, so that in his next life he may obtain the peace he longed for, to calm the spirit before his return to the cycle of rebirth.

Within seconds of his arrival, a ghostly flame left the deceased body; the soul leaving the carnal bondage. Xie Lian was about to approach, ready to offer words of support, to guide the spirit to the heavenly plane, to let it know that he heard its plea.

Unexpectedly, Hua Cheng grabbed Xie Lian and pulled him to his chest, not as a form of comfort, but as a form of protection.

A large amount of energy began to accumulate in the lightless cave; the windless cavity suddenly obtained a blizzard, the energy rippled, simulating raging waves. Stones and any other objects floated up, such an outburst even destroyed rocks in the cave. Robes moved with the energy, hair fluttered in the rush of it.

The only thing that remained undisturbed in all that disaster was that flame, quiet, unmoving. Growing, growing, growing and glowing, with every wave stronger.

Xie Lian couldn't see any of it, but he could feel it, he could sense the energy being shaken towards a single point.

Xie Lian didn't know what was going on, but Hua Cheng did.

Something similar, more powerful but the same in the end, happened that fateful day where he saw his loved one suffer from a fate worse than death. His second birth, where resentment and hatred built up, when he was reborn as a demon.

Boom.

For seconds, Xie Lian could only hear ringing in his ears. Somehow, the coldness in the cave increased, falling to an chilling silence. Hua Cheng seemed unwilling to let go, his arms tense, his attitude alert.

What caused such a state in his partner, Xie Lian soon found out. His hearing normalizes, just in time to hear the voice of a third person.

“Why...? Why am I alive...?”

Xie Lian's eyes widened, he escaped from Hua Cheng's arms, and as he turned around, he discovered that the situation inside the cave was different from when they arrived.

There was no body.

Instead, a young-looking man stood where the lifeless body once lay, the blackness beneath him a hint of what once lay there. Apparently, the earlier fire had managed to burn the body completely, leaving only ashes.

The ashes of a demon.

It was not only the resurrection, but now one could see what he looked like before the torture was applied. Elegant and handsome, a man with all his limbs; long silky hair, fine hands and long fingers; a splendid greenish robe (perhaps so looked his last garment before it was marred with blood and tears).

The expression on the face of great beauty contrasted with such a beautiful appearance. The brow furrowed in disbelief, a lost and frightened look. There was nothing but panic; after all, an inevitable thought came at once: Luo Binghe would not let him die.

Trapped forever, an eternal prisoner. No salvation in heaven, no peace with death.

Wait a minute...

“My tongue...”

A hand was superimposed over the lips. He has...

“Hands...

He looked at those limbs that had disappeared too long ago to remember. They were identical, they were his hands, as if they had never been torn off. The tiny fingers trembled, out of excitement, disbelief. He guided them to feel his skin before his captivity, legs still remained, his two eyes attached to his skull.

Exactly what was going on?

“San Lang, is this...?”

The unfamiliar voice caught him, a glance at the men also present.

Even with the differences, despite the broken statue, Shen Qingqiu had spent more than half of his life looking at the face that now stood in front of him, now real.

“Your Highness...”

The murmur stopped Xie Lian's breathing for a second unnoticed. "Your Highness," even when that title was no longer uttered with mockery, it rarely appeared without ulterior motives, almost always accompanied by fear or regret, sadness or lies. Only Hua Cheng could call it with love, devotion, so sincerely, in the past centuries.

But, just now, a useless title since the fall of his kingdom became one of expectation. This is his believer.

One who perhaps met him by luck in such a distant land, whose information about the Crown Prince of Xian Le was limited, where other Gods were probably worshipped, and, even so, chose him, a Rubbish God. Accompanied by a statue that nurtured an intense faith, which was even used to torture him by being destroyed.

Unbelief present in words, hope not sufficiently hidden in the God who has descended. A theory, a thought.

“Was you...? Your Highness, was you...?”

Absurd. Impossible.

“I'm afraid it wasn't me...”

A truth. A mystery. If not a miracle, then what?

“Resentment" replied Hua Cheng.

A word. His eternal curse.

“Not too much, but enough.”

Sins must be paid for on earth, karma knows no end.

“Gege, this man is a demon.”

And a laugh was heard, mad and crazy and insane. And Shen Qingqiu only realized when consciousness was lost: he who laughed was him.

God didn’t listen to him.

—✧—

When he awoke he was no longer in the cave, although he didn't know where he was either.

It was so strange... He had forgotten the existence of heaven. It was beautiful, more so than in his memories. Clear and pure, completely sincere.

After minutes (seconds?) of observation, a soft, gentle voice brought him back to consciousness.

“You're awake.”

So melodious, so soothing. Such a pure voice.

The voice of God.

Xie Lian was relieved when only a disinterested glance was directed at him. He could no longer handle being someone's beacon of hope. It was easier to deal with indifference, he was used to it.

However, it was an interesting twist. A very curious man, he's probably only sincere at the climaxes.

A mask. He was the kind of person who wore a mask against suffering, against longing. Ignoring his desires, avoiding his happiness. Though, he supposed, he must not have had much of that in life. And what little he had... was surely taken from him in one way or another. After all, not just anyone could become a demon after death.

Hate.

Sadness.

Repentance.

The list of reasons is endless, and so short at the same time.

“How do you feel?”

Shen Qingqiu didn't answer. Maybe he didn't want to, maybe he just didn't know. From life to death, from death to life, how must that feel?

He didn’t insist, he left his believer in his thoughts. It was what he needed: a moment to think. There were too many changes, it was a new life, another chance. How will he proceed? Xie Lian was very intrigued by that answer.

Silence fell. The two remained attentive to the changes in the sky.

As unexpected as everything about him so far, Shen Qingqiu decided he wanted to talk, or at least release his frustrations.

“I wanted to be there.”

Xie Lian didn't understand at first; when he did, he didn't feel any better.

I wanted to die.

An "I'm sorry" came to him, words that never came out.

"I'm sorry" for what? For his death? For his life?

He knows nothing about him, but wishing for death isn’t a good indication of his history. Death is related to loss, and he seems to have lost everything.

He was a God over 800 years old, with enough experience from multiple cases, but he still didn't know how to deal with the consequences of the inevitable fate.

“Although it would probably end up in Yama's domain.”

Hell, the earthly prison.

Powerful words, as well as revealing. He knew nothing of the one who prayed to him, other than his final wish; because of his state at death was a tortured man, one who had suffered a thousand hardships.

A demon born of resentment showed the intensity of hatred he accumulated in his life, He Xuan was the perfect example of that; but, unlike the Supreme, who didn't know the culprit of his misfortune, it was impossible for his believer to be in the same situation, he must have known the one who hurt him well. And, even with the information, not a hint of rancor, a desire for revenge, had seeped out.

Serenity and calmness, as if the resurrection hadn’t reached him. The thought that he didn't deserve heaven implied that he too had his sins, accepted them, and probably even justified the evil that was expressed to him. To consider the Underworld even after death, he must also consider his soul unsalvageable.

But if this person was as bad as he believed himself to be, how could he think so?

“I no longer want to hold resentment anymore.”

Now that the natural course of souls had been stalled for him, would he respect that wish?

If so, Xie Lian wants to support him.

If not...he will think about it when the time comes.

A voice breaks the tension, releases him from an answer he cannot give.

“Gege, I'm back.”

And Xie Lian was glad to see it. Not just because of the timely, as it has always been, but because of the preoccupation of his subconscious from the moment they parted.

“San Lang, I'm glad you're back! How did it go? Did you have any problems?!

“Not at all, everything went well. Gege worries too much.”

“Just enough.”

They were too far away from Ghost City, from Puji, from any known place. The demons of these lands didn’t serve Hua Cheng, they didn’t even know him. And, just as they could not know how powerful the Supreme was, both Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had no knowledge of the strength of those creatures.

Hua Cheng didn't debate, instead, he watched the newborn demon. A bit of curiosity, some wariness, a drop of empathy.

Curiously, the look was sustained. Shared feelings.

“Crimson Rain Sought Flower" he acknowledged.

Xie Lian would not deny his astonishment. To think that he even knows about Hua Cheng...

But Hua Cheng was no slouch when it came to information either.

“Shen Qingqiu.”

The expression was deformed with two simple words, with a name linked to misfortune.

Dark energy gathered around, the novice demon's feelings affecting the place.

“San Lang...?”

The former prince's bewilderment managed to lighten the heaviness in the air. Both demons suppressing their misgivings in favor of his highness.

However, explanations could not be avoided.

“That's his name, Gege.”

'And he doesn't seem to like it too much...' Xie Lian deduced.

Again, dark iris clashed with deep green. Words that didn't need to be spoken, an unspoken threat: you say it or I say it.

Xie Lian noticed too, of course. But he would allow Shen Qingqiu to make his choices. His first choice as a Demon could give him a clue to the future he was heading for.

An inner conflict and struggle, memories and hardships struggling to prevail, a new body placating fierce grudges.

With obvious reluctance, but agreeing anyway, Shen Qingqiu ignored both of them. A silent approval of invading his history and life.

He doesn't care, he repeats himself. After all, it is already in the past, he is already dead.

Xie Lian wished to smile, if just doing so would be polite. It was the best option, the first thing to eliminate hatred was to allow the bad memories to fall away from one. Ignoring the past, forgetting history in favor of this new beginning, was the right thing to do.

“This place is rather curious, Gege," Hua Cheng began, "very different from where we came from. The demons here are different from those in Ghost City.

“How so?" asked Xie Lian, curious, but unsure of how he was linked to Shen Qingqiu.

“There, ghosts and demons arise from resentment, from unfulfilled desires, a will that keeps us in this world.

As he spoke, his palm gave a caress to the cheek of his one God. Fleeting but meaningful, a reminder of what still bound him to mortal world.

Xie Lian received the enchanted touch, accepting the love that was silently professed to him, the coldness of the King's body didn’t prevent his cheeks from feeling warm, it still quickened his heartbeat.

“Here, however, demons are naturally born," he continued, and the information was a bit shocking to Xie Lian.

Demons procreating...

It wasn't impossible, of course; after all, there was a reason there were Fertility Pills. It was just...unbelievable.

For all demons to be born like that, were there even demons born from resentment in this place? A demon born from the root? A demon, so to speak, pure?

'It exists.' he reminded himself 'It's right behind me.'

When a glance was directed at Shen Qingqiu, he discovered that he was also watching him. Surprise and bewilderment seeped into the distant face due to the perplexity of the matter.

He must have figured it out anyway, demons weren't supposed to be born, there shouldn't be bloodlines. For anyone to question this, it should have been years, centuries, that demons were born in a way so far removed from resentment.

And, lest Shen Qingqiu knows of some case where a ghost turned into a demon, well...apparently no one had hated as much as he didn't until now.

Even with this information, Xie Lian still didn't understand how the two stories were linked.

“Another curiosity, Gege, is that the worlds seem to be merged here. Demons and humans coexist, perhaps more by force than by taste.”

First living demons, and now a coexistence, Xie Lian was no longer sure which was more surprising.

“All ruled by a sovereign of mixed blood.

Well, maybe that was the most surprising thing.

“Mixed blood? You mean...?”

“The son of a demon and a human.”

It wasn't Hua Cheng who spoke.

Xie Lian looked at Shen Qingqiu, whose gaze was still not land on them. His eyes still staring at the sky, his mind beyond it. Distant memories, recent memories. A story.

Everything indicated that it was this sovereign that was linked with him.

Hua Cheng could continue the story, Shen Qingqiu had already approved this; however, Xie Lian now felt that it was not the right thing to do. Sometimes, ignoring isn’t the answer, forgetting isn’t always the right thing to do. Sometimes, you just need to get it off your chest. Sometimes, only someone to share it with is enough.

“Is this sovereign an old acquaintance of yours?”

Shen Qingqiu smiled, a gesture so shallow and empty, he even sensed, for a brief moment, the presence of hatred. A swift and deadly glow, quenched as quickly as its arrival. A feeling forced away, yielding to indifference instead.

“That little beast... was my disciple," he confessed.

And everything became more confusing. A man with the ability to rule over humans and demons alike, whose master was in seclusion suffering from immeasurable grievances. How could he not stop this? Unless...

“He was the one who...?”

And the smile grew, and death returned.

“He only took justice into his own hands.”

Justice. Xie Lian was no fool. If this was justice, what made it any different from revenge?

Xie Lian didn't need to know more, he now had enough information. Even if there were enough holes left, the important thing was there: master and disciple, a bond of mutual hatred.

No matter how or why it was started, no matter how much evil Shen Qingqiu had caused his student, in the end, it all came to the same thing: the bad deeds have been repaid, the debts of the past have already been collected.

There was only one thing left to confirm, and I hoped I wasn't bothering him with the question, but it was necessary.

Many said that Xie Lian was too meddlesome for his own good, he knew it himself, but this was different. This was a prayer on his behalf.

“What will you do now?”

A demon born of resentment, will he follow or defy his destiny?

“I don't know.”

Part of him wants to go and destroy everything. There isn’t a thing in this world that is worthwhile. There is nobody in this world worth going on for. Why not, then, destroy as much as possible? At least a little, that others understand what it is to lose, what it is to have nothing, no one.

And another, the naïve child who accompanied him in his last breath, the one who protected himself from the world behind his fan, besides a statue, insists on moving forward, and forgetting, and living, as I always wish.

And he doesn't know who to listen to.

He can only, after all, find pleasure through the suffering of other people.

Only this way... He knows no other way.

Even if he wished for it, he cannot be sure that he is able to leave that malice behind. His heart is rotten, the resentment isn’t so easy to dissipate. He does not know how to do it.

If you still feel resentment, you can unsheathe Xuan Su and take my life.

The words echoed in his mind.

He doesn't know what to do.

He doesn't know what he wants.

But...

He knows that there is a person he wants to meet again...

“Your Highness... may I ask you a favor?

And Xie Lian knew that he didn't need to worry about this favor.

He already learned a lesson a long time ago, he can't save everyone, he can't meet everyone's expectations. But he can save Shen Qingqiu. The hope in his eyes, he can help to preserve it.

“If it's in my power, you count me in."

—✧—

New blood stained the ground, that of the unfortunate demon who begged for mercy from his sovereign, who pleaded ignorance and innocence, who insisted that no one had entered the cave of Luo Binghe's exclusive recluse in his days of absence.

An unfortunate guard on duty.

“Mobei-Jun.”

From the shadows appeared the Ice King, the Sovereign of the South, his right hand.

“My lord," he saluted, a sign of respect, a dog waiting to receive his master's command.”

“Find out what happened in this place.”

“As you command, my lord.”

He disappeared along with the same silence with which he arrived. An effective servant.

Luo Binghe looked at the charred silhouette. That dark part still managed to stand out amidst the aftermath of the flames.

A form, a body, a person, his Shizun.

His teeth gnashed, lines of blood escaped from his hands, Xin Mo threatened no one, yet he seemed ready to destroy the world. In the darkness, the crimson of his descent was like boiling blood, furious and devastating.

This was not supposed to happen.

His Shizun couldn't be dead.

He was to die, not by hands other than his own.

He will find the culprit, and, when he does, he will destroy him.

His eyes wandered back to the place where his Shizun used to be, that darkened part. Not far away, a stone flower caught his attention.

The flower of that damn statue.

Only with that thing did his Shizun show any expression other than hatred, than indifference.

That statue of a God Luo Binghe never heard of always received more attention from his Shizun than Luo Binghe himself did.

The red in his pupils grew more intense, hatred directed at the innocence of an object.

Before he left, he stepped on that flower with force.

It was not enough.

Without Shen Qingqiu, he would never have enough.

—✧—

"I want to find a person," was easier said than done.

First of all, Yue Qingyuan was dead.

Xie Lian thought that Shen Qingqiu overestimated him. He, as God, actually has no more benefits than an ordinary person, only more responsibilities.

He does not know where the souls of the dead rest, he does not know what happens to them once they leave their bodies, he has not the influence to disturb a soul that has left the world.

That was not the case.

“He's not gone.”

Asking how could he be so sure, Shen Qingqiu smiled, this time more sincerely, more nostalgic, with a silent pain.

“I just know.”

In his heart, Shen Qingqiu finished the prayer.

'He wouldn't leave me behind...'

As for whether it was true or not, they couldn't be sure. Whether it would be in vain to search for it or not, it didn't matter either.

Even if Yue Qingyuan had vanished from that world, his death long ago, Shen Qingqiu needed to find the place where he breathed his last breath. Perhaps then he could move on, with the fulfillment of the promise that started it all, even if it was decades later.

Therein lay the second problem: they had no idea where to start looking.

Luo Binghe was never clear about where he ambushed Yue Qingyuan, they only had one clue, and that was that it must be perfect for launching an absurd amount of arrows.

Besides that, they had absolutely nothing.

In his homeland, it was enough for Hua Cheng to ask any soul (living or dead) to get answers, but here it would not be so simple this time…

At least that was what Xie Lian thought, Hua Cheng, of course, would go out of his way to please his Highness. Now that he had decided to help, he would get the answers he needed.

“Just give me a little time, Gege. I'll figure it out for you.”

Now that the most powerful Supreme had taken on the task of investigating for them, and since Xie Lian didn’t doubt that Hua Cheng would find out without the need for his intervention, he asked Shen Qingqiu if he didn't have any other wishes.

Unexpectedly, the answer was no.

Other than finding Yue Qingyuan, he had no other ambitions at the moment.

“Pathetic, isn't it?”

The answer Xie Lian wished to give was "no". It wasn't pathetic at all. It could never be pathetic to yearn to see a loved one again.

Still, he refrained from answering. Because it wasn't pathetic, but it was a bit sad...

So many years in captivity, suffering, and now that he was finally breathing freedom, he had no other desire than to find a man who was already dead.

Rather than being pathetic, couldn't help but feel dejected at someone else's loss.

Shen Qingqiu guessed his thoughts. An overly perceptive man. Or, perhaps not perceptive, perhaps it was his own thoughts that saw the light in Xie Lian's expression.

Xie Lian, his God...

The only one who has not failed him. The only one who has not abandoned him.

It even seems unreal, an implausible act, to find oneself next to this person. The statue has never done him justice. Not in appearance, not in aura. He exudes wisdom, power and gentleness.

No, the statue never did him justice, but Xie Lian is just as Shen Jiu imagined him to be when he heard that traveler recount the legends surrounding this peculiar God.

An imperfect God, more a man than a deity. He didn’t deserve the concern that was directed to him. He does not deserve that goodness. And, perhaps, he doesn't want it either.

Too much.

It's too much for a man who has never met it.

God, don't look. Don't corrupt your vision with me.

God, don't look. I can't hold your gaze.

God, don't look. I've grown accustomed to your blindness.

“I'm sorry.”

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Xiao Jiu, I'm sorry.

“Why?”

And whom? Who is he really asking?

“If I had arrived earlier...”

The sentence hung in the air, the insinuation was clear, but it shouldn't be painful.

It was.

Not because of what would or would not have happened if his God had come sooner, but because his whole fortune seemed to be tied up in the same words.

If I had arrived earlier...

“It doesn't matter.”

It doesn't matter anymore.

“You don't owe me anything.”

Everything has been paid for.

“I made my own decisions.”

You took yours.

“I only got what I deserved.”

But I still managed to drag you with me.

“I'm the one who should apologize for causing His Highness these troubles," somehow, and Shen Qingqiu was surprised, the apology was sincere. Perhaps because of who it was addressed to, perhaps because of the person he was thinking of.

So alike, too good for someone like him.

“It's no trouble, no trouble at all!" Xie Lian hastened to reply, "Really, it's no trouble at all...”

After seconds of silence and internal debate, Xie Lian was unable to bear the curiosity in the end.

“This person... Was he a friend of yours?”

Shen Qingqiu denied it. They were not friends.

“He was...”

It was his brother.

At least, it once was.

“An idiot.”

To the end, for falling into such an absurd trap. Definitely a big idiot, for not giving up on him.

“Whit what an idiot," Xie Lian mused, "But...”

Shen Qingqiu was helpless before the subsequent smile. So warm, and, at the same time, with a regret beyond his comprehension.

“Haven't we all been at one time or another?”

It was not the God who spoke, but the soul a thousand years old, the one who has witnessed a million decisions, the one who has been judged and witness, defendant and defender in the court of life.

“Out of stubbornness or pride; out of principle or necessity; perhaps out of revenge, perhaps out of justice; sometimes guided by pain, an effect of loss, the obstinacy of the past. Sometimes our guide is even love...”

He watched the red thread tied between his fingers, and the smile became more beautiful, his aura brighter, though this time it was followed by another kind of pain, one that Shen Qingqiu this time managed to recognize. How could he not, when it was his hope in hell, and despair in paradise?

The pain of an oath, the torturous wait for a person.

Shen Qingqiu, of course, knew the story of that red thread, how his God lived waiting for a person, how the Supreme King announced his return by turning night into day.

If he hadn't dreamed of leaving, if he hadn't gone to Qiu Jianluo to ask for freedom, if he had been more patient... in the end, Yue Qingyuan.... Qi Ge would have come back for him?

Too many if.

“Do you regret...?”

Xie Lian knew there was more, and was patient. He waited in silence until Shen Qingqiu managed to put his question together completely.

“Do you regret what you did, what you didn't do, or what you could have done?

“Naturally," Xie Lian replied without any hesitation. Perhaps, Shen Jiu hoped that he wouldn't do that. “Without regrets, how can we be better?”

“What if I don't want to be better? What if I don't want to regret it?”

Xie Lian knew this question was important. The kind of question whose answer prompted him to make decisions, to choose paths.

He considered lying. Giving the words that would help Shen Qingqiu move on. But, something told him, false words would never reach this person. Perhaps, none could.

He took his time to consider it, but, in the end, he couldn't find an answer that was good enough, honest enough. If he didn't have an answer, he could only ask another question.

“And is it worth it?”

Shen Qingqiu didn't expect to be questioned like that.

“Continue on this path, is it worth it?”

In his heart, Shen Qingqiu still didn't find an answer.

—✧—

“He's not who you were looking for, but I figured you might be interested to know.

“Impossible...”

Impossible.

“That's...”

Completely impossible.

“San Lang is the most honest person you'll ever meet," Xie Lian defended. “If he says so, it must be true.”

Disbelief, doubt, panic, at the possibility. Guilt creeps into your hands.

Suddenly, he can feel the blood on his skin; the sun goes down and the darkness consumes him; the only brightness, getting dimmer.

His vision blurs, the image of a man at his feet appears. Fallen, lifeless. White robes stained red, hair hides eyes that will never open again.

The light disappears, he hears a sword break.

A pair of hands hold his shoulders, forced to return, Shen Qingqiu abandons his memories.

Xie Lian holds him, looking at it with a serious and worried countenance.

“Are you all right?" stupid question, he reproached himself. Obviously he wasn't.

His lips remained still, unwilling to speak.

It had been a long time since the last time Xie Lian had felt so frustrated. How could he help someone who does not cooperate to be helped?

“Even if you're not okay now, maybe you can be after we talk about it.”

He gave his most reassuring smile, though he didn't expect any results.

Before, these words would never reach Shen Qingqiu. Even now, he does not believe in them at all. However, he has spent his whole life ignoring the advice, avoiding communication in the face of topics that are not to his liking.

But it was the reluctance to speak out that led to his current situation. The silence of everyone around him, Yue Qingyuan's, cemented the poison in his heart.

Is it worth it?

It's not like he’s losing anything by talking, is he? It all happened a long time ago, anyway.

“I'm... fine. It's just...” a pause, he breathes and continues” He shouldn't be in this world.”

Liu Qingge.

How many years since his death? He doesn't know. He doesn't want to know. He buried that event deep in his memory, where it would have rotted but for Luo Binghe's interference.

But, even if he sealed everything related to Liu Qingge, the rest of his martial brothers would never have overlooked such a thing.

This event didn’t make any sense. Liu Qingge's spirit must have left on that fateful day. How did it manage to remain? Why didn't anyone notice it before? What was going on?

The icy caress of a last breath consumes him again. Cold fingers stained with blood smear his cheek, leaving crimson traces when the hand falls lifeless.

A final sentence is said, the last words that Shen Qingqiu would have preferred not to hear. Had he simply died without speaking, Shen Qingqiu could have been spared the trouble he was now about to go through.

“Whether it's true or false, I'll see for myself," he declared.

Hua Cheng snorted, not annoyed even when Shen Qingqiu agreed not to believe him, on the contrary, a glint of amusement appeared in the Ghost King's only visible eye.

“As you like.”                  

A pair of dice were thrown, opening a portal to the place where Shen Qingqiu used to be all too familiar with in the past.

Even now, familiarity came to him, but not in the way it should. Where once were green lands, now darkness ruled, blackness equal to that of the cave where he had been held captive for so long.

Again, he remembered Luo Binghe's words. His laughter, his mockery, his pride as he described how the flames consumed Cang Qiong, professing that it would never be what it was.

Looking at the state of destruction, it was probably true. Centuries would pass before grass would cover the ground, and even if trees replaced the charcoal, the magical charm of the mountains would not be the same. One only had to look at the sky to see that it was covered with an eternal melancholy. No sunlight, only clouds of sadness for the tragic fate.

Xie Lian shuddered at the scenery, not only because of its gloomy appearance, but because of the high amount of accumulated resentful energy.

How many people must have died there for it to grow so large? How did they meet their death for it to escalate to such a degree?

Unconsciously, his gaze followed Shen Qingqiu. Perhaps wishing for a reaction. However, besides sweeping his gaze across the scene, his countenance had no change. An empty gaze.

He couldn't feel anything for something that happened a long time ago.

Without sparing another glance at the surroundings, Shen Qingqiu headed to the place that mattered to him.

Even with the roads destroyed, with the landscape different, the body's memories didn’t fail him, finding what were once the valuable Spirit Caves.

Hua Cheng also was slightly surprised to see them. Of the entire mountain, this seemed to be the area most affected by the resent energy.

Somehow, many why's found their answer. Shen Qingqiu could now understand how Liu Qingge was trapped between the world of the living and the dead.

“Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower” , I will go on alone from this point.”

“Are you sure? San Lang's information says...”

“I'm sure.”

The determination behind those words surprised Xie Lian, arousing curiosity for the man inside. What was the story between the two of them, that could arouse an emotion in Shen Qingqiu's stoic personality?

“If that is your decision...”

Shen Qingqiu only walked a few steps closer and he could already feel the negative energy increasing around him. It was excited to receive him.

The entrance to the caves seemed like an abyss ready to drag him down and consume him, to lose him in the darkness and resentment of those who died because of him.

It was his fault.

He was responsible for the destruction of the Sect.

He dragged them all with him.

It was his fault.

“May it not consume you.”

Shen Qingqiu was startled by Hua Cheng's voice, only noticing at that moment how he was clinging pathetically to the stone at the entrance.

“Because of your state, you are susceptible to this type of energy. If you are careless, it will take control over you.”

Although he said so, at no time did he suggest leaving the mountain, moving away from the caves. It was a challenge disguised as a warning. It was obvious that he just wanted to see how far he could go without losing himself.

“Who do you take me for," although irregular, Shen Qingqiu still managed to form the sentence, "I'm not fucking weak-minded.”

With that said, Shen Qingqiu stepped into the darkness, ready to face what was waiting for him inside.

Xie Lian let out a laugh.

“I'm surprised by San Lang's concern. You're not the type to give advice.”

“Gege is too good, he manages to see goodness in everything", again the sweet and flattering tone unique to his prince.

“San Lang gives me a lot of credit. I'm not that good. But...it's not just my perception, is it? Why the sudden advice?”

Hua Cheng didn't respond right away. Worried, Xie Lian took his beloved's beautiful face in his hands.

“Is something wrong, San Lang?”

Never reluctant with the contact His Highness, Hua Cheng's own hands covered Xie Lian's palms.

“Nothing really," he confessed. “I don't like him.”

“And the reason is?”

“Your Highness, did you know that resentment isn’t necessarily the cause of the birth of a demon?”

Xie Lian was clearly puzzled, he had no such knowledge.

“It is true that hatred is usually the most usual path; however, it isn’t the only one. In the end, hatred is nothing more than an emotion, one that is easy to acquire, easy to increase. Your Highness, what makes a demon isn’t its ability to hate, but the intensity with which they can feel.”

Hua Cheng guides his clasped hands to Xie Lian's chest, close to his beating heart, where hidden beneath the cloth lies a crystalline ring.

“We are spirits," he murmurs. Spirits that refuse to leave for one reason or another.”

Their foreheads joined, without needing to clarify anything, knowing full well Hua Cheng's motives for not leaving the ghost realm.

“However, the simple desire to remain in the world isn’t enough to acquire a tangible form.”

Xie Lian distinguishes the frustration in Hua Cheng's voice, remembering the desperation of a flame that wants to comfort him in his drunken state, to give him a warmth and an embrace that he cannot give.

“In order to achieve this, besides willpower, it is necessary for the spirit to be confronted with an experience that marks the soul. It must feel so intensely that the ghostly fire becomes unable to withstand the overflowing energy caused by this emotion.”

Hua Cheng no longer looks at him, his one eye closed to prevent the agony in those moments of helplessness, where Xie Lian was a victim of human cruelty, from seeping out.

“A desire..." Hua Cheng continues, "A desire so intense that it can defy death.”

Desire for revenge, desire for love. If Shen Qingqiu hesitates between the two, it is because he was not born for either of them.

Something stronger than hate, a more powerful force for the heart.

“Hope...”

Hua Cheng nodded.

“Hope" he confirmed.

I no longer want to hold resentment anymore.

Shen Qingqiu was not born out of resentment. He wasn't. He was a demon born out of hope. Hope in change.

“But that man is his own prisoner" Hua Cheng continued his explanation. “It isn’t pride and it isn’t arrogance. It is simple fear. Fear of this hope. He fears not the hope that others can give him, not the hope he can find somewhere, but the hope in himself.”

Xie Lian knew what he was talking about. To Shen Qingqiu, maybe it wasn't obvious, maybe it wouldn't be obvious to his close people either, but they are centuries old, they have interacted with enough people to identify aspects that can't be noticed easily, but follow a particular pattern.

Shen Qingqiu's pattern was simple: dependence.

“First me, then his friend..." Xia Lian sighed before continuing, "He wants to change, but he doesn't think he can. He needs someone, he thinks he needs someone to guide him. He thinks that, on his own, he won't be able to do it.”

“Exactly," Hua Cheng agreed. “People like him, who give up easily, even before they try, I just can't like them," he confessed.

“And yet you brought him here," under his touch, Xie Lian was able to feel Hua Cheng's body tense up, although he didn't need to feel that, his San Lang's emotions were so intense that they could easily be transmitted through his gaze. “San Lang...?”

With a sigh, Hua Cheng gave up on giving the answer His Highness expected. He could not deny His Highness anything, after all.

“I think I can understand... The world's judgment of you, capable of creating a grotesque vision of yourself, I can understand that.”

Xie Lian remembered at that moment the child he held centuries ago in his arms, the same child who brought him flowers to a modest temple even on rainy nights. Inevitably, the words that probably haunted that child all his life also came to him.

Ugly monster.

That child is toxic.

Xie Lian's hands went from holding his cheeks to wrapping around Hua Cheng's entire waist. A little surprised by the change of postures, Hua Cheng still didn't take long to repeat the action.

Without words, with a simple gesture, Hua Cheng understood Xie Lian's thoughts perfectly.

They don't know anything. You are perfect.

With his face hidden in Hua Cheng's chest, the following words were barely audible.

“Do you think he can change his mind? Change the way he sees himself?”

“That... I can't know, Gege. What I do know is that there is no information regarding that man's death. He never denied or confessed to anything, unlike other accusations, the evidence is also ambiguous. I have my theories, but I'm not sure of their certainty.”

Xie Lian wondered if that advice was somehow linked to these assumptions.

“The only sure thing is that, whatever the truth of what happened that day, it marked him enough to make him decide to come here today.

That didn't mean that that brand was good. Not necessarily. On the contrary, it could intensify the disaster that Shen Qingqiu already was. A long shot, but Hua Cheng had an intimate friendship with luck.

“We can only wait.”

Waiting for him to realize...he changed the moment he made that prayer.

—✧—

Shen Qingqiu covered the lower part of his face with the sleeve of his robe, the miasma formed by the resentment of the spirits intensified the deeper he went into the caves. A logical fact, as the furthest caves tended to be the ones where the most amount of spirit energy was concentrated in the past.

It was interesting how even the greatest purity could be corrupted with enough pressure. It was even more curious to note that, the purer one was, once the darkness had created a stain, the faster the black covered the white canvas.

The Spirit Caves were once the treasure of Cang Qiong, with abundant energy flowing naturally on the spiritual path, a concentration of the balance of nature, a harmonious space of Heaven and Earth. However, it was exactly the gift of attracting the best that the world had to offer that led them to end up as the most affected place after the Sect's destruction.

A magnet is still a magnet, as long as it is energy, it would be attracted to the caves. Resentment is energy, negative energy, but energy nonetheless, and Luo Binghe was cruel. The entire mountain was covered in the feelings of the dead, and everyone congregated in the place most susceptible to them.

Unfortunately, the cave was not the only one that was susceptible at the moment.

Shen Qingqiu could feel them. The vestiges of the pain of those souls were blades to his senses.

A thought repeats itself, guilt floods him. He hears nonexistent laments, images of that day come to him.

There is red. There is always red. Red has always accompanied him in his misfortunes. The mountain burns, there are screams, terrified disciples, some still trapped in the dormitories, in the dining room, the more intelligent flee, the more foolish try to help others escape.

Flames are not enough.

Demons come, they delight in the terror on the faces of humans. They find amusement in that useless fighting. They take the Qiong Ding's nameplate and destroy it mercilessly, the desire they always had.

The fire spreads, no one escapes, when they are so close they are greeted by arrows. It's a game, they give them hope to snatch it away in the blink of an eye. There's no blood, not when the body turns to charcoal. Evidence is easy to destroy.

In the midst of the chaos, Luo Binghe watches it all. His crimson mark stands out against the flames, his eyes roaming over the destruction he has wrought. There is no happiness, no hint of interest in what is happening. He stands on the sidelines, just like all those disciples did when he needed help.

Souls go mad at the arrival of the indirect culprit; there is anger, there is sadness, there is despair, rage, frustration, agony. Madness impregnated in every lament.

Someone else would have already succumbed to this energy, resentment devours the weak, attacks mercilessly. But Shen Qingqiu, even though he is a young soul, has experienced enough to resist it.

But that doesn't stop him from feeling the caresses of the hatred that has been trapped. He hears the whispers of death.

You caused this.

He did.

It's your fault.

It is.

You dragged everyone down with you.

You can't change the past.

No. You can't change it.

There are no second chances. Their sins cannot be erased. The blood does not disappear, their dead remain.

You can't change that.

You can't change it.

You can't change.

“Shut up.”

The frenzy of thoughts stops, even the moaning subsides.

“If I can do it or not, I'll be the one to decide.”

The caves return to silence, the dead dare not speak again.

Danger.

Shen Qingqiu senses it, something is approaching. It is powerful, the energy fluctuates even at a distance. It drives away the spirits.

Shen Qingqiu takes a deep breath even knowing how useless it is for his dead body. The reflex of a mortal.

Just as so many years ago, his body searches for the cause. He hears screams, grunts from a confused mind. This time, his footsteps do not hesitate. This time, he knows who it is. This time, he knows what to do.

The energy is so powerful now that it is perceptible to the eye.

Surrounded by dark fog, white clothes appear in his field of vision; the steps are unsteady, there is no sanity, no consciousness. Resentment has consumed purity.

Shen Qingqiu almost scoffed at the irony. To think that Liu Qingge would go from being that incorruptible figure to become the recipient of all the tainted desires.

It was no different from that occasion. Senses discarded, controlled by an external force. The scene repeats, their gazes meet. Red eyes watch him, reflect an anger that doesn't belong to them.

Again, Liu Qingge goes to meet him.

Again, Shen Qingqiu prepares to defend himself.

This time, he will change the outcome.

Liu Qingge jumps up, ready to land a head kick. Shen Qingqiu is quicker, retreating by a step. Holding his leg in the air, he guides Liu Qingge into a wall encounter.

Years ago, he didn't measure his strength either, he acted on instinct when he felt the threat of death. But it's not like Liu Qingge could die a second time with such a weak blow.

It isn’t a deviation of Qi. The body isn’t fragile, it is the consciousness that is wrong'.

Liu Qingge died that day. His soul should have vanished that day. It didn't, and the reason was the place of his death.

The energy of the caves preserved the spirit, just as the energy of the Earth that was drawn to it, nurtured it over time. It became part of the caves, a dormant entity, simply existing, trapped without knowing it.

It was these desires for revenge that finally awakened the ghost, turning him into the physical embodiment of his hatred. In his current state, Liu Qingge was no better than a puppet. With no will. No clarity in his thoughts. But he could wake up, he had to wake up.

The daze didn't last long. Liu Qingge stood up without hesitation and aimed his fist at the opponent's chest. A punch that Shen Qingqiu barely managed to dodge; an attack full of malice, Shen Qingqiu could tell by the pressure that the missed punch caused in the air.

One thing was clear: he could not afford any blows from this person! He had to end this quickly, without giving opportunities to be harmed.

At least none of them have a sword. Cheng Luan and Xiu Ya, both broken with the death of their owners.  Shen Qingqiu still didn't know how to defend against a crazed Liu Qingge and a flying sword with murderous intent. His absence this time allowed him to concentrate on a single target.

Taking advantage of the arm opening, Shen Qingqiu didn’t hesitate to throw his own body at Liu Qingge. It would be impossible to win in a battle on foot, the ground, however, was a different matter
.
With a clatter, both bodies hit the ground, though the brunt of the blow was received by Liu Qingge, having to bear the impact of Shen Qingqiu's body on top of him.

Without wasting any time, in an act that reminded him of the countless street fights of his youth, Shen Qingqiu picked up a fistful of sand and threw it into Liu Qingge's eyes.

With a shriek, in an act of reflex, Liu Qingge abandoned the blow that was aimed at Shen Qingqiu's face and covered his eyes with his hands. Shen Qingqiu could almost hear him ranting about his dirty tactics. It's not like he cared about his comments...right?

Before Liu Qingge reacted to the fight again, Shen Qingqiu acted and held both wrists above his head, his legs settled between his thighs and the free hand held Liu Qingge's chest, forcing him to stay on the ground.

The energy in the caves began to fluctuate, annoyed by his puppet's defeat. Shen Qingqiu could feel it gathering over Liu Qingge, pushing him to continue the fight, making him more and more unbalanced.

Whether demons sweat or not, Shen Qingqiu didn't know. What he did know was that the pressure of hatred grew stronger with each new second. He had to do something, or he himself would end up falling.

Because of your state, you are susceptible to this type of energy.

Inevitably, those words echoed in his head. However...

“That means...this type of energy is susceptible to me as well, doesn't it?

More of a theory than anything else, Shen Qingqiu was still willing to check it out, right there, at that very moment.

As if cultivating, Shen Qingqiu took a breath and opened his spiritual doors, seeking to absorb the energy of the earth, the heavens, the caves, but mainly the energy resented in Liu Qingge.

In the past, Demons used to travel to Tong Lu, feeding on the corrupted desires of the souls trapped in the furnace. The one who managed to subdue them, defeat the bloody ghosts, the rancor of the volcano, emerged as a new Ghost King.

It's not like Shen Qingqiu knew this, and the Spirit Caves were far from resembling Tong Lu a bit; however, even without knowing, Shen Qingqiu had the instincts of a Demon, the characteristics of a Demon.

This type of energy is only food.

There are fluctuations, ripples in the air. Screams are heard, souls are resisting. Although the heart is dead, Shen Qingqiu hears unbridled beats. Maybe it's his imagination, maybe it's his skin throbbing. Even without the need to breathe, he feels short of breath.

Red. He sees red everywhere. The caves disappear, Liu Qingge is gone. Just a bloody sea of red. Cries and cries, pleas and howls. Those eyes watch him, the mark of his nightmares. He smiles at his.

You're susceptible.

His teeth grind, his fingers clench on the skin he holds.

He can't stop.

If you're careless...

He can't stop.

It will take control over you.

He can't stop.

“Shen...Qingqiu...”

A faint squeeze on his wrist. A caress on his hand. Among the countless shades of fire, Shen Qingqiu glimpses pure white.

“Shen Qingqiu...”

They are dark, that pair of pupils. They stand out against the pale skin. There is no more madness.

“Shen Qingqiu!”

Falling back into the darkness, though his senses are lost, one last thought crosses him: that last voice didn’t belong to Liu Qingge.

—✧—

He is awakened by the fingers on his head. He can feel the tender, caring hands caressing him. The treatment reminds him of his nights in the brothel, where the female massage managed to awaken in him the sense of security and protection that he lost many moons ago.

He can also feel the spiritual energy traveling from those fingers to his temple, relieving some of the horrible pain in his head. Such gentleness in the act could only come from one person.

Shen Qingqiu opens his eyes, he is greeted by Xie Lian's smile, which only grows when he sees him awake.

“Thank God, you woke up.”

The words are so genuinely honest and well-intentioned that Shen Qingqiu refrains from scoffing (literally, thank goodness, he seems to be awake). Instead, he nods without any further response.

He should get up, he knows. Lying on God's legs must be blasphemy. To have God touch him gently, a sacrilege. But is it so bad to allow yourself to withhold your God's attention on him for just a few more minutes?

After years of the Heavens turning a blind eye to him, doesn't he deserve it at least a little?

A voice whispers: no, you don't deserve it.

But another one...another one says: so what?

He wants it. Even if it is selfish, he wants it. Even if he doesn't deserve it, he wants this.

How bad is it to act out of simply wanting to?

Shen Qingqiu has always been a man with restrictions, so he doesn't know. Maybe he can find out now.

He closes his eyes again. He doesn't ask questions, doesn't move, and Xie Lian more than once feels tempted to check his breathing. It's not like it does much use. Demons don't need to breathe.

They remain in silence, one much more comfortable than the ones they've had so far. There are many things to say, there is still a lot to sort out, but Xie Lian isn't willing to ruin the peace that Shen Qingqiu finally found since his demonic rebirth. Probably since long before that.

Although demons don't need to sleep, Shen Qingqiu seems to have fallen into a pleasant sleep.

—✧—

The second time he opens his eyes, he is ready to face what happened in the caves.

That involves listening to Xie Lian scold him for his impulsive decisions.

“It was dangerous! You absorbed too much energy! Fortunately, San Lang noticed soon...”

The said man, by the way, had left to continue searching for Yue Qingyuan. As for Liu Qingge....

“We...explained to him while you were unconscious, but...he's been wandering around the mountain ever since.”

Shen Qingqiu could guess the reasons. If he was a little more sentimental about the past, he would do the same. But the past was never a good companion to remember in his case.

Be that as it may, they had to meet, sooner or later. And Shen Qingqiu hated to procrastinate meetings. So there he was, a few steps away from the former Lord of Bai Zhan, a Peak that no longer existed, just one of many things.

Liu Qingge was sitting on the edge of the top of his ancient Peak, looking at the gloomy landscape beneath his feet. Shen Qingqiu watched his back for a long time, not knowing and not caring if the other was aware of his presence.

It was...curious.

He hated Liu Qingge. He hated him too much.

Too impulsive, too naive, but mostly too favored. As with Luo Binghe, he envied him. He possessed too many things that Shen Qingqiu could only dream of having at the time.

Jealousy used to kill him imagine the dazzling future Liu Qingge would have.

Unfair, unfair, unfair.

Why only Liu Qingge, when Shen Qingqiu had put in an equal or greater amount of effort?

Oh, right...

Because Liu Qingge was cultivated at the right time. His talent was never suppressed, unlike him.

To think of Liu Qingge was to think of his past, of Wu Yanzi, of the Qiu, and finally to think of Yue Qingyuan's guilt. A cycle of remorse.

Liu Qingge was a constant reminder of what he could achieve, but would never touch. The mere sight of him was frustrating. His idiotic tongue never helped to tolerate him. What to say about his ideals of what is black and white. So much simplicity, all in all, an airhead.

He hated him, even if the feeling was never enough to kill him, it didn't change the fact that he hated him.

His light so bright, he hated it.

And, when the light went out, he hated it even more.

Until his last moments, he never stopped hating him.

And, now that they were so close, now that that light was back, Shen Qingqiu discovered...he didn't feel anything.

Nothing.

The hatred that accompanied him for decades, vanished in a glance.

Simply nothing.

No rancor, no jealousy, all dead along with his human body. All dead along with...him.

Ignoring the history between the two, Shen Qingqiu walked and sat in the space next to his Shidi. If they could still be considered like that, although it's not like that relationship really existed before.

Together, they watched the darkness that girded the once glorious Cang Qiong Mountain.

For several minutes, neither said anything. Like strangers who have no idea what to say to each other.

The circumstances of their separation were not the best, the circumstances of their reunion could not be worse. Two men who should be dead, staring at the vestiges of what was once their shared past.

A ghost, a demon, so many years, so many changes. A bond that never existed has taken shape with death.

The melancholy silence was broken by Liu Qingge.

“Mingyan...?”

Shen Qingqiu discovered that he had forgotten what Liu Qingge's voice sounded like. It wasn't as unbearable as he remembered it.

“Safe.”

Liu Qingge nodded. He didn't ask anything else, he didn't care about anything else. No need to know details, just that information was enough.

“You're not going to ask me... what happened after you died?”

“...I heard about it.”

“I thought you didn't trust strangers.”

“I didn't trust you either.”

Although not intended, the words only made the conversation more difficult.

Liu Qingge wrinkled his brows, understanding that his answer was not the best.

Incredibly, Shen Qingqiu didn't even flinch what that. His thoughts lay on how the frown was more in line with the image he had of Liu Qingge in his memories.

Noticing Liu Qingge's discomfort, Shen Qingqiu intervened before he said something stupid.

“I never gave you a reason to do it.”

Shen Qingqiu hoped to settle the matter with that, what he didn't expect was for Liu Qingge to continue with him.

“You never did...or was it me who refused to see him?”

“I don't know what you mean.”

He really didn't know. Torture and captivity make you forget certain things.

“Years ago, in the well demon mission... did you really attack me from behind?”

'Ah...'

He remembered it now. That mission, as well as the Demon Liu Qingge never saw.

“What's that all about now?”

Liu Qingge smiled, finding the answer for himself with that. He felt like a complete fool now.

“You saved me...” he guessed.

“What makes you think that?”

“No one tries to kill a person in order to risk his life by saving it later.”

“Who knows? Maybe he was in a bad mood that day.”

A smile, small, too small, which Shen Qingqiu didn't even notice, broke out on Liu Qingge's face.

“Maybe.”

Although he said it, in his heart Liu Qingge could never believe it. How to do it...

After another period of silence, Liu Qingge finally summoned the courage he never thought he would lack.

“Thank you...for saving me.”

Others might think that they were still talking about the same topic, but Shen Qingqiu knew that he was no longer referring to that event.

“I didn't save you...”

He didn't.

“You're here now, aren't you?”

Dead because of his incapacity, because of his lack of ability.

“I'm here now," Liu Qingge said, “when I shouldn't be.”

“...Idiot.”

'That doesn't take away from the fact that you're dead.'

For the first time, Liu Qingge didn’t argue with Shen Qingqiu about it.

He was an idiot, yes he was. For judging a person as rubbish and refusing to see their positive aspects; for living for his training, neglecting the time he could spend with his sister; for trying to advance his cultivation, knowing that his mind wasn't ready.

A real idiot.

His stupidity brought trouble even after he died.

“Why didn't you tell them?”

The question came out of nowhere. Shen Qingqiu wasn't even sure what he was referring to.

“What?”

With this calmness that Shen Qingqiu didn't remember in Liu Qingge, he explained.

“That you didn't kill me.”

'Ah...'

Of course, Liu Qingge wouldn't overlook it. Seriously, a true idiot.

“What good would it have done?” Anyway...“They wouldn't have believed me.”

Liu Qingge knew this because he wouldn't have done it either. Still...

“You didn't even try, did you?”

“What's the point? Even if I had proof, they'd claim it was false. Even if I told exactly what happened that day, they would twist my words. Whatever I said, I'd still be condemned, because there's no one who trusts me.”

'Even he doubted with me...' a crooked smile came after the painful memory 'In the end, there was never anyone...'

“I'm sorry... I was wrong about you...”

It was like a bolt of lightning that pierced his thoughts. Those words, again.

“No. No, you didn't.”

His eyes turned to the sea of black that surrounded them.

“Don't you see what I've caused?”

“It wasn't you who did this” Liu Qingge made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Just because it wasn't you who burn down the forest doesn't change the fact that you were the one who provided the fire.”

Silence fell. Shen Qingqiu thought that Liu Qingge had finally understood.

“Even if you were the one who provided the fire, it doesn't mean you wanted to burn down the forest.”

The fierce innocence in Liu Qingge's gaze managed to stir something in his consciousness.

He...never wanted to burn down the forest.

He was prepared to pay for his dealings with Luo Binghe. He was the cause of the hatred, he brought it on himself with his actions. He didn't mind burning for the fire he lit.

I never expected...that Cang Qiong would pay with him. That Yue Qingyuan would pay for it...

“Death gave you some brains" he scoffed, not knowing how else to respond. "Since when did you have the patience to argue like a normal human?”

“I died, Shen Qingqiu.”

If the heart was beating, maybe it would have stopped.

“...That makes two of us.”

Such a short conversation, they had never had such a long one. Coming to insults and blows before.

Death is strange...

After living fighting with Liu Qingge, now that they are both dead, all those disputes are insignificant, something from his mortal life that no longer matters. Even remembering is a bit tiring.

“What will you do now?” Shen Qingqiu would be lying if he said he wasn't curious.

Liu Qingge didn't answer right away, but Shen Qingqiu didn't rush him either. He understood how difficult this question was.

“They said you were looking for Zhangmen...Yue Qingyuan.”

“I do," he confirmed, realizing that the weight of that name had somehow lessened, at least just a little.

“I'll come with you.”

That was not something Shen Qingqiu expected.

“Excuse me?”

“I'll pay you back for all the trouble in the past, so I'll help you find him.”

“It's not necessary; besides, I have enough help already.”

“Then I'll watch your back.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I have enough power to take care of myself" he said, continuing before Liu Qingge replied. “You should think further ahead, are you planning to follow me even after you find him?”

“What will you do after you find him?”

Good question, what will you do after you find him?

The uncontrolled anger of his rebirth still lingers. The feeling of revenge against the world has not yet disappeared. But...

After meeting Liu Qingge, after discovering how the conflicts between the two faded so easily...

Is it worth it?

Starting from scratch is a tempting idea.

“...I'll decide after I find him.”

“Me too, then.”

“You...Seriously... Go and have some ghost adventures. Why don't you visit your sister?”

“She's fine, she doesn't need me.”

Liu Qingge was unwilling to commit such a selfish act as disturbing his sister's mind now that his death had been overcome.

“Well, neither do I.”

When Xie Lian and Hua Cheng went to look for Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge, they found the two of them arguing with each other at the foot of the cliff.

Even with a clean slate, there are some things that transcend life and death.

—✧—

“My Lord.”

Luo Binghe turned his body in the direction of the owner of the voice.

“What took you so long?”

The demons behind Mobei-Jun shuddered from the anger in the crimson eyes, the intense glow of the mark on his forehead.

“Well? Who was it?”

The tremors in the innocent demons were impossible to contain with their sovereign's pupils upon them. The promise of murder in the question.

Immediately, everyone began to plead.

“It wasn't us, my Lord!”

“We are innocent! We have nothing to do with it!”

“Mercy! I didn't do it! I didn't do anything!”

Luo Binghe watched the demons squirming at his feet like the insignificant trash they were. He kept Xin Mo in hand to slash at the culprit, a slash not powerful enough to kill him, but might as well start with some arm.

“I don't know yet, my lord.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Xin Mo's blade was already on his throat.

“Good-for-nothing. Why did you come back, then?”

A little more pressure, a trickle of blood fell from the ice demon. Unless his reason for returning without carrying out Luo Binghe's order was justifiable, he wouldn't hesitate to kill him and continue the investigation himself.

“Everything seems to indicate that a Demon of unknown origin is lurking in your territory, my Lord.”

After receiving the Northern King's cold gaze and seeing his salvation as well, the demons that had been brought in front of Luo Binghe didn’t hesitate to endorse the words.

“Yes, he was, he must have been, my Lord!”

“He asked a lot of questions!”

“I had never seen him before, his appearance was also very suspicious!”

“What kind of questions" Luo Binghe interjected.

The words stuttered as the attention was back on them, but they clung to their only chance for salvation.

“He... He... He was looking for a place, my Lord. He wanted...he wanted to know the place where died... where the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong died.”

“Yue Qingyuan?”

Suspicion quickly came to Luo Binghe.

“Why would anyone want to know about a place where there's not even a corpse left?”

A shudder ran through the demon after realizing that his words didn't seem to convince his Lord.

“I... I don't know, my Lord... But it's true! I'm not lying! He...! He asked more demons, too! You...!" he said, looking at the demon beside him, "You tell him!”

Now that the attention had been relinquished, the unfortunate demon could only hold back his desire to kill the other and explain the reasons why he was brought too.

“He... He doesn't lie to you, my lord... That demon... he simply appeared and asked the whereabouts of the ambush... He also...”

“He also what?”

Luo Binghe was getting tired of the slow conversation.

“He also... asked about the old Master of Qing Jing, my Lord...”

Splash.

The last demon screamed after observing the fall of the headless bodies.

“Mercy, please! My Lord, have mercy!”

“What was he like?”

In a trembling voice, he described the appearance.

“Crim... Crimson robes... Boots...Black boots... White skin and dark...Dark hair... Silver ornaments... Silver ornaments on your robes... He...He has a patch too...on his...right eye... Please, my Lord, spare my life!”

Ignoring the demon crying at his feet, Luo Binghe's crimson eyes returned to Mobei-Jun's expressionless face.

“Tell me.”

It was impossible for Mobei-Jun to return just because of the gossip of a few demons.

“A few days ago, an energy fluctuation was recorded at the ruins of Cang Qiong. The humans at the foot of the mountain claimed to see a man who matched the characteristics come down.”

Mobei-Jun didn't continue right away, but Luo Binghe knew his dog well enough to know that he still had more information.

“He didn't come down alone.”

“Who was with him?”

For Luo Binghe, the more people to take it out on, the better.

“Two men in white and...a man the villagers identified as the Peak Lord of Qing Jing.”

Silence.

Not even the weeping demon dared to continue pleading.

“...Shen Qingqiu?”

Luo Binghe's anger that remained with him since that day where the cave was burned slowly dissipated, the glow of his mark finally dimming. A huge contrast to the madness in his eyes after uttering the name. The little demon couldn't help but tremble from the ensuing laughter.

“So you're alive, you fucking scum.”

Alive.

But not with him.

Just as it came, the laughter was suddenly gone.

“That demon, he was looking for the place where Yue Qingyuan died, right?”

The little demon nodded repeatedly.

“Taking my belongings as if nothing...”

Xin Mo glowed with a black aura, vibrating on his owner's hand yearning for new blood.

“Shen Qingqiu, you can't escape from me. I will kill anyone who tries to help you.”

The demon shrieked as it saw the sword swing, but the cut never reached him. Instead, a crack opened in the air. A passage into the abyss.

“Let's go" he ordered.

Mobei-Jun nodded, ready to join him.

Only after crossing the crack did Luo Binghe seem to remember something.

“You know what to do.”

Just at that moment, the only surviving demon became aware of the presence of the beautiful red-clothed demon woman hiding in the shadows.

“Leave it to me, darling.”

The portal disappeared after Luo Binghe and Mobei-Jun crossed, leaving the two demons alone.

“You see, my husband likes to keep some things secret.”

—✧—

Xie Lian was a man whose nature was always to care about the health of others, even more than his own. He never saw this as a noble act, it was part of him. While it had often brought him various troubles, it was not an aspect that Xie Lian was willing to change. That led him to teach Shen Qingqiu the basics of his new body, in hopes that an event like the one in the caves would not happen again.

Xie Lian had said that a demon has no heart, Shen Qingqiu believed him. There was no need to check, not only because it was his God who said so, but because the absence of heartbeat was obvious.

There was no beating heart inside him. Why, then, now did he seem not to stop listening to it?

“Is it...here?”

Hua Cheng nodded. He took it upon himself to secure it with various demons.

Shen Qingqiu looked at the desolate landscape. There was nothing but dirt and stones, an isolated passage, no trees or rocks, nothing that could serve as a shield against a rain of arrows coming from both cliffs.

Perfect for an ambush, pretty obvious too.

'Yue Qingyuan, you... such an idiot...'

Not only Shen Qingqiu, everyone thought the same thing. It was impossible not to assume that something would happen if he was summoned here.

“So, what do we do now" asked Liu Qingge, who ended up accompanying them despite all of Shen Qingqiu's protests.

“Be patient, wait until it gets dark" Xie Lian replied. Usually, if his soul hasn't crossed over, he should be here.

It was almost dusk, minutes away from sunset. That was good, the night is susceptible to spirits.

All that was left was to wait...or accept that there was no soul in the place.

“Gege shouldn't be worried.”

The murmur in his mind made Xie Lian's skin crawl. An amused eye met his pout.

“San Lang...”

Even when he wanted to reprimand him for teasing him, no matter how playfully he had expressed himself, Hua Cheng had been right in his current feelings.

Xie Lian returned his attention to the figures of Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu, side by side, motionless and waiting for something to happen.

“San Lang... do you think... he's still here?”

“That's hard to say" he replied, "If he became a ghost after his death, it wouldn't be necessary to wait for the night, he would appear on his own as soon as he saw familiar faces.”

“But he hasn't appeared....” Xie Lian interjected, "And that only means that he has moved away from the place of his death, just like several ghosts are heading to Ghost City; or....”

“Or that he never became a ghost" Hua Cheng confirmed.

The sky of reds, oranges and yellows colors was abandoned for the day, giving way to violet, purple and blue tones.

Xie Lian didn't want to be pessimistic, but if that was the case...

“No matter how powerful a soul is, if it doesn't have enough power to acquire at least a ghostly form, I'm afraid... it will eventually disappear from this world...”

Xie Lian clenched his fists in an unconscious act.

Without this person, what would happen to Shen Qingqiu, would it really become a vain pursuit?

Another hand held him, relaxing his muscles.

“Gege, don't underestimate the will of the dead.”

Although the touch was gentle and loving, the words soft and tender, Xie Lian felt bad in his heart. He didn’t want Hua Cheng to misinterpret his thoughts.

“It's just... He... I want to help him fulfill his wish...” the last desire of his heart.

“But, Gege, haven't you already done it?”

With his gaze fixed on one point, Xie Lian guided his eyes to the same direction. They both looked at Liu Qingge's figure.

“Gege mentioned that his desire was to hold no more resentment. Isn't he the proof that the prayer has already been fulfilled?”

In a way, yes. It was.

“I'm sure he's noticed it too" he said, this time looking at Shen Qingqiu. “I can tell from his current attitude.”

Xie Lian also observed. Even when there was a desire radiating in him, illusion and longing for an apparition, despair does not come with every minute of disappointment. There is acceptance, there is sadness too, between the two feelings, even relief is identified. He does not seem disappointed.

Two images of Shen Qingqiu overlap each other in Xie Lian's memoirs: the emotionless gaze that watched a sky with envy, and the tired eyes that finally sought to slant the pain into a peaceful sleep.

Currently, Shen Qingqiu is none.

The anger of his rebirth has subsided.

Whether the soul has vanished or not, the actual feelings and learnings will not go away because of it.

In the end, "backing down" was never a characteristic of Shen Qingqiu.

“As always, San Lang is perceptive.”

Xie Lian returned the handshake, silently thanking him for the support.

‘Though...I still wish...they could meet again’

For his part, as darkness covered the sky more, Liu Qingge didn’t endure the same doubt.

“Do you think he's still here?”

“You really don't have a shred of empathy, do you?”

Only Liu Qingge would ask such a direct question on a painful topic. He was like that. Straightforward, simple, without thinking too much. Shen Qingqiu sighed, surrendered to that sincere spontaneity.

“I don't know" he was honest.

Yue Qingyuan was always a predictable fool, but at key moments he never acted as Shen Qingqiu expected.

The shadows had already enveloped much of the sky and earth, only a few rays of sunlight remained to illuminate the world.

“What will you do...if he's gone?”

Shen Qingqiu narrowed his eyes, the last light disappearing with each new second on the horizon.

“Who knows... Maybe it will destroy the world.”

Liu Qingge sized him up, looking for truths and lies. His frown deepened.

Under Liu Qingge's intense gaze, Shen Qingqiu noticed the absence and necessary company of a fan.

“Yes, of course" he scoffed.

“Do you think I can't do it?”

Liu Qingge doubting his ability again was too frustrating.

“I think you can do it" he confessed.

Shen Qingqiu was surprised enough to forget about the fire of the day being extinguished, choosing to watch Liu Qingge instead, who watched his hands-free of negative energy, a result he could never have achieved on his own.

Liu Qingge had always been a magnet of light, Shen Qingqiu discovered at that moment that death could not take that gift away from him. The last vestige of the day was captured by Liu Qingge's eyes, where the image of Shen Qingqiu was the only one present.

“But who talks about destroying the world with such a sad face?”

Like an ally, the night darkness hid his surprised expression.

Besides the blackness, no light rose in the darkness.

None...

In that place, apart from them, there was no one. Not a single soul could be observed.

Not a single one.

Yue Qingyuan wasn't there.

Xie Lian bit the inside of his lips, Hua Cheng closed his eye, Shen Qingqiu looked at the bleak deserted road. Again, he had been left behind?

There are divided feelings.

On the one hand, he is upset, he never thought Yue Qingyuan would leave him, he counted on his presence, his smile. Knowing that his spirit is gone while his own is stranded in the world of the living and the dead is frustrating.

However...he is also relieved. The absence meant that Yue Qingyuan had transcended to another life, a new chance to be happy, which he always deserved. He had already given everything to Shen Qingqiu, getting angry at him for not giving him more after he died would be a new level of selfishness.

And still...

Still...

It hurts.

The thought of never seeing him again...it hurts so much.

He really...Shen Qingqiu really...wanted to apologize.

“Hey.”

The moon came out of the clouds, Shen Qingqiu looked at Liu Qingge, whose call was directed to both men behind them.

“What now?”

Xie Lian watched in surprise, even Hua Cheng opened his eye a little as he was caught off guard. "What now?", there was nothing else that could be done.

“You said ‘usually’. Well, he's not here. Now what? Where are we going?”

“Well... that... Well...”

Xie Lian had no idea... He hadn't thought about it either.

He didn't know if there was a place similar to Ghost City in that land, maybe they should investigate it, or at least look in surrounding areas.

Shen Qingqiu, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, the three of them realized thanks to Liu Qingge... they had given up too quickly.

Shen Qingqiu looked at the moon, the stars that adorned the night darkness.

In the middle of nowhere, the sky was a beautiful sight.

Shen Qingqiu could see it clearly, black robes and a small smile. Yes, Yue Qingyuan wasn't there, and most likely his soul had vanished, but...at least...

“'Until I've been all over the world, I won't accept it”

'I won't give up yet...'

Liu Qingge smiled sideways and Xie Lian's knot of worry finally unraveled in its entirety.

No longer bound to the past, no longer refusing to look to a future, no longer an excuse to convince himself to forget and move on. This time, the declaration came from the sincere feeling in his heart to meet the one who was important to him.

“Now, it's my turn to look for you, Qi Ge..." he murmured.

The wind blew and brought with it a whisper.

“Xiao Jiu...”

It was a faint call, a fragile voice, but Shen Qingqiu didn't imagine it, he didn't do it, and everyone's stunned state proved it.

“That voice..." Liu Qingge couldn't mistake it either... "Zhangmen Shixiong?”

There was no answer, none.

Shen Qingqiu tried.

“Yue Qingyuan?”

It was a failure.

If it wasn't because the four of them had heard it, Shen Qingqiu would have already taken it as a delusion of his longing mind.

“San Lang?" asked Xie Lian, hoping he had an explanation for the phenomenon.

Hua Cheng's finger rested on his chin, a meditative look.

“He has no conscience" he answered.

“What do you mean?" asked Shen Qingqiu, although he sounded calm, the timbre of worry could still be noticed if one paid enough attention.

“He's here, but his voice was barely audible, he can't even show himself, so his soul must be damaged in some way. Most likely he was reacting to some special stimulus.

“What kind of stimulus?" asked Liu Qingge.

“I could not say. In these cases, the soul awakens thanks to some belonging, something to which he was strongly attached in life, something very important to him.”

Liu Qingge frowned, they didn't have anything like that with them.

Shen Qingqiu didn't think so. His hands clenched into a fist, trembling slightly. Regret and grief filled him.

'So much so...? So much so that you wanted to hear it again?...'

He took a breath, pushed away the feeling of remorse.

“This name irritates me every time I hear it, I've long since forgotten it. Please, Shixiong, forget it too.”

“Does that mean that when you are willing to answer this call of mine, you will no longer be irritated by it?”

“Qi Ge...”

And he catches it.

For a second or less, a faint glow, like...like the embers of a fire.

Without explaining anything, Shen Qingqiu walked in that direction. Xie Lian, Liu Qingge and Hua Cheng watched him blankly, but followed him, nonetheless.

“Qi Ge" he try again, louder this time.

They all saw it this time, at the center of the road, a soft glow, sparkles of light that struggled not to be extinguished.

'There you are.'

In the end, he should check the absence of his heart, after all. The beats could not be fictitious.

Shen Qingqiu was the first to come out of his stupor; it was either that, or the rest allowed him to be the one who would approach before anyone else.

Where they were was probably the exact place where life was lost.

Shen Qingqiu knelt at the height of the radiance, he could imagine Yue Qingyuan in the same position, a thousand arrows on his back.

For him.

“Qi Ge..." he called, the light intensified, recognizing him.

Demons' hearts don't beat...but they can still feel.

A tear fell, lost in the night.

It has taken them a lifetime, but...the promise of years ago was finally fulfilled.

'Thank you...for coming back to me.'            

—✧—

“It will take time to acquire a physical form, but he will once he recovers.”

“Why is he in this state?" asked Shen Qingqiu, a bag in his hands where Yue Qingyuan's soul was kept.

Yue Qingyuan had immeasurable spiritual energy, it shouldn't have been a problem for him to become a ghost after his death.

“He must have suffered great pain before his death; though the soul still retained a bit of his awareness, so that must not have been the case. It was probably his cause of death, the arrows must have been covered with demonic energy, that surely damaged, in addition to the body, the spirit. It could also be a combination of both.”

Shen Qingqiu nodded slowly.  He didn't doubt that Yue Qingyuan suffered from not being able to save him, probably considering himself useless before he died.

“From his state, just not fading away completely with all these years is an incredible feat" Xie Lian added. He looked at Shen Qingqiu and the spirit in his hands, smiling for both of them. “It was just as you said," he continued "he refused to leave.”

Shen Qingqiu pulled the soul close to his chest, gave a little warmth to his body.

He refused to leave him again.

In the end, Shen Qingqiu would never be able to solve his selfish nature. Knowing that it was better for Yue Qingyuan to leave and forget all his suffering in another life, that he preferred to stay with him made him feel...happy.

“Shen Qingqiu," Xie Lian called, his face was serious this time and maybe that was what made him feel uncomfortable; it could also be hearing him say his name, although...with Yue Qingyuan in his arms, something didn't feel right, "you've already found the person you were looking for, what will you do now?”

Liu Qingge, who was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, opened his eyes upon hearing the question, and, just like Xie Lian, looked at Shen Qingqiu expectantly.

His debt to him, he planned to repay it. He vowed to follow him, but if Shen Qingqiu really wanted to destroy the world...he's not sure if he can do it...

Facing that question again, Shen Qingqiu thought about his past again.

He thought of his slavers, the Qiu, Wu Yanzi, Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan, Luo Binghe.

He thought about the injustice of the world and the shitty life he had to live.

He thought of himself. The child whose concern was marking territory, the teenager who spent his days waiting, the young man who killed to survive, the adult who was consumed by resentment.

He thought...

He thought of the statue that accompanied him until his death.

He thought of the god who heard his voice.

He thought of the demon who advised him.

He thought of the ghost that followed him.

He thought of the soul that remained.

He thought...of the prayer that brought them to him.

Death is very strange.

With it the world changes, people change. Perspectives are modified, opinions are altered.

Accompanied by grief and loss, death primarily brings closure to a story. Without possessions, without relationships, the past is lost, everyone continues to write their own book. Even if at first the story is counted repeatedly, as the world advances, the novel will become a story, then a mere memory, until finally everyone forgets its contents, until everyone forgets that the book even existed.

What will he do now?

What does he want now?

Having closed his own book, he discovered that he isn’t interested in opening it again. Willing to let it disappear as everything is destined to do.

He doesn't know.

He has no idea.

There is a flower among the ruined statue.

When he saw it, Shen Qingqiu thought that it was pitiful. Looking back again, in the dark cave, among the debris of the statue, the intact flower was...a beautiful image.

A writer shouldn't just have one book. Right now...isn't he writing another one?

Does he really need to have an answer?

Life is, after all, a book with an uncertain beginning and an uncertain end.

“For now, it's enough for me to wait for him to recover" he replied, referring to Yue Qingyuan, tying the spirit catches pouch on his belt. "While I'm at it...I can travel and decide on the way.”

Liu Qingge exhaled, a smile formed.

Xie Lian perked up after hearing it.

“Do you have somewhere special to start with?" he asked, his interest evident.

Shen Qingqiu contemplated it. His life was always like the ocean, with its changing waves and tides, always worried about enduring them that he never had the chance to enjoy the water.

He didn't have anywhere he had ever considered visiting.

“I don't have it" he confessed.

Contrary to his expectation, Xie Lian perked up even more upon hearing him.

Xie Lian looked at Hua Cheng, a silent plea. Hua Cheng would give Xie Lian whatever he wished for, he would accept all his requests without thinking.

“Actually, I... I've been thinking..." began Xie Lian, a little embarrassed, "Ghost City... needs a school.”

Shen Qingqiu was confused, Liu Qingge too, though he for many more reasons.

“Ghost City?" asked Liu Qingge, "Where is that?”

“It's their territory" Shen Qingqiu explained, looking at Hua Cheng. “A bustling city where ghosts, demons, and all manner of creatures gather.”

“You are well informed" Hua Cheng complemented, saving him some face by not asking for reasons. He didn’t need to clarify them.

“It's a charming place and so are all the people who live there. They are good people" added Xie Lian, causing Hua Cheng to smile.

“Only Gege could think that way about idiots like them.”

Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge agreed. They couldn't imagine a city full of monsters being "charming" and with "good people".

“They're good people, San Lang, they just lack a little education" replied Xie Lian. “Even though there are all kinds of people, there are some who can't even write or read.”

Shen Qingqiu noticed that Hua Cheng's smile wavered with that, but he didn't care about the reason, his full attention was on Xie Lian.

“For the same reason, there is no one to teach them either. I've wanted to, but I'm too busy attending to prayers, I don't have time. So...” Xie Lian took the hands of Shen Qingqiu among his, who managed to suppress the urge to push them away, ”Since you used to be a teacher, I thought you could...”

His voice faded as Shen Qingqiu showed no reaction. Perhaps...was it too much? Shen Qingqiu was barely deciding his path, pushing him perhaps wasn't right? But letting him wander aimlessly...he didn't seem right either.

“Just...if it's okay with you...why don't you start with Ghost City? Not necessarily with the school, at least...until you decide where to go.”

Shen Qingqiu was no longer listening.

Teaching... Did he have the right to do it again? He...did he deserve to take up the mantle of teacher again?

No. He couldn't even say he was a teacher before.

So many futures ruined because of him, because of his ineptitude.

Shen Qingqiu...was not made to be a teacher.

“That's a good idea.”

Shen Qingqiu was startled when he felt Liu Qingge's voice beside his.

“You could teach them to write, read and even music. I'll take care of training their bodies so they won't be bullied. Yes, let's do that.”

Shen Qingqiu was shocked by Liu Qingge's determination. He...

“You... you barely gave a few lessons to Bai Zhan's disciples. What makes you think you can handle tutoring again?”

How could he accept to be a teacher again even with his failures in life?

“That's exactly why" he replied, his gaze following Shen Qingqiu's, his tone implying that the answer should be obvious. “I didn't teach how I should have done it, but I can redeem myself with this by teaching properly. Isn't it the same for you?”

Liu Qingge's simplicity...it was in those kinds of moments that Shen Qingqiu envied his the most.

Redemption, an appropriate word.

He hadn't seen it that way.

Destiny in the stars is a curious thing. Maybe this was what they wanted for him.

This time...he had to get it right.

It would be his karma.

Seeing Shen Qingqiu smile at Liu Qingge's comment, Xie Lian tried again, a hint of hope in his voice.

“So... what do you say? Will you accompany us to Ghost City?”

With their joined hands, Shen Qingqiu's cold skin became warm, a warmth that gave his body more life, a warmth that seized his being, giving his a new meaning.

“That won't be possible.”

The words fell like ice, Shen Qingqiu's stomach sank in just a second.

He hadn't reacted even as pain shot through his back, screaming wasn't even allowed, five fingers pressed against his throat. A large crater formed in the wall, his ears ringing, blood imprinted on the rock, dripping from his forehead.

Straight into his ear, a macabre whisper.

“I found you, Shizun~”

Even with his sight unfocused, he could always recognize that flash of crimson.

“Shen Qingqiu!”

A synchronized shout by Xie Lian and Liu Qingge, but, before they could get close, a wall of ice stops their footsteps.

Just like Luo Binghe, Mobei-Jun appears out of nowhere, blocking them.

“You are...!”

Liu Qingge identifies him immediately, a guess builds, his sight returns again to Shen Qingqiu, who continues to be strangled.

“That means... that guy is...”

“Luo Binghe” Hua Cheng agrees.

There is a rumble, it catches everyone off guard. Luo Binghe is forced to let go of Shen Qingqiu, dodging a large chunk of ice that was headed to hit him.

As soon as he released him, a murderous aura caused Luo Binghe to move away, landing next to Mobei-Jun. He could only see a flash before he lost the object inside the white robe.

Shen Qingqiu fell to his knees, coughing fiercely; although he couldn't die from suffocation, that didn't take away the pain in his throat.

Two white robes, four hands holding him, a support on his shoulders and back, cover his wounded body.

Shen Qingqiu relaxes.

He isn’t alone.

No more.

Luo Binghe frowns. No one besides him can touch his Shizun. Shen Qingqiu doesn't deserve anyone's concern either. He scrutinized both of them, getting a big surprise.

“Liu...Qingge?”

Liu Qingge stops his attention to Shen Qingqiu to face Luo Binghe, the warm wind hit Luo Binghe like the icy cold as he confirmed his suspicion.

“How is it posible…? You're...”

Dead, the word was not uttered, but he still felt the animosity that provoked the implication.

He was not intimidated in the least.

He couldn't do it, not when a man supposedly dead for years appears alive out of nowhere. The intrigue was greater.

“What are you?" he demanded to know, getting silence in return. Liu Qingge was unwilling to say anything.

Time truly stops with death.

The Lord of Bai Zhan Peak was rarely seen, even by his own disciples, preferring the seclusion to increase his cultivation. Luo Binghe rarely had the honor of seeing Liu Qingge during his lifetime.

Of course, as a naive and innocent young man, Luo Binghe, like all other men, had a sincere admiration for the Lord of Peak, which led him to keep those little encounters with the "God of War" as precious memories. Later, Liu Qingge died and Luo Binghe received his inheritance. Such a magnificent figure lost importance, only being remembered for the judgment of his death.

Now, however, the memories came back clearly. The appearance, the attitude, everything was the same as the last time Luo Binghe saw his Shishu alive. In neither realm had he heard of any spell, monster, or ability capable of assimilating appearances, especially without any reference.

If it wasn't a fake, then...

“A ghost" he guessed.

The frown on Liu Qingge's face deepened, Luo Binghe took that as a "yes".

Interesting.

“Well, well. The world takes unexpected turns, don't you think so too, Liu Shishu?”

Not only Liu Qingge, upon hearing him, Shen Qingqiu was sure he could spit blood from rage. Luo Binghe's level of chutzpah was unbelievable.

“Who the hell is your Shishu? After all you did, you have no shame!”

“Oh, right, because all the members of Cang Qiong were always righteous and moral" Luo Binghe sneered.

“What could a demon like you know about such things?”

“Liu Shishu is straightforward and sincere with his thoughts. Shizun, I think I can understand your motivation for kill him.”

Liu Qingge was never a tolerant man. Luo Binghe insisting on referring to both of them as "Shizun" and "Shishu" was a complete insult to Cang Qiong. So what if the Sect ceased to exist long ago? Liu Qingge could not allow such a humiliation to your name!

This time it was Shen Qingqiu who held Liu Qingge's hand as it left his shoulder. The message was clear: don't be reckless.

The glint in Luo Binghe's eyes dimmed after watching the exchange, only to resurface with more intensity.

He smiled, a dangerous gesture.

“Although... I'm intrigued... Why is Liu Shishu helping the scum who murdered him?”

The grip faltered, this time it was Liu Qingge's turn to hold Shen Qingqiu's hand tightly, prevent him from pulling away.

“What do you care?”

Such insolence, Luo Binghe hadn’t experienced in a long time.

“Ah... Liu Shishu is right, what can I care, when your soul will be so broken that it won't be able to form a physical body again?”

Luo Binghe stepped forward, ready to keep his word, but he wasn't the only one, Xie Lian did the same, stepping in between the three of them.

This time, Luo Binghe was confronted by a pair of cinnamon irises. A familiar face, even if he's not sure where.

“Stand back" he ordered, his demonic mark glowing, an unspoken threat.

“I can't do that.”

“Then suffer the consequences.”

In a swift movement, Xin Mo was unsheathed, sending a powerful demonic wave straight at the three of them.

Xie Lian prepared to receive the attack. He didn't have to.

Another wave of power came from the opposite direction, an explosion originated from the collision of the two blows.

Luo Binghe's eyes turned red, no one had ever parried an attack of his so easily.

Suddenly, in the gloom, hundreds of silver butterflies appeared, forming a spectacular sight. In the midst of them, Luo Binghe observed a man with dark hair that rivaled the night, skin as white as snow and crimson robes redder than maple, the ornaments on his robes flashing in the light of the butterflies, as did the pearl on the tip of his hair. The eye patch stood out, but no more than the crazed scarlet pupil on the scimitar.

“Whoever dares to attack Gege must be prepared to die.”

For the first time since taking his inheritance, Luo Binghe felt the pressure of an abysmal force that was not his own.

He must be the demon they told him about.

“Who are you" Luo Binghe demanded to know, "I've never seen you before.”

“Why should I tell you? You will die for your audacity.”

“That's for me to say.”

There was no signal.

Sparks began to fly, E-Ming and Xin Mo fighting with each other. The impact of the clashing metal caused ripples that dislodged earth and sent stones flying. The sound they caused with each onslaught echoed throughout the canyon. The level of disaster around them could not be measured, the battle could never be described, two legendary swords were fighting to be the victor.

For his part, without needing an order, Mobei-Jun began his own attack. Ice formed on the ground with the aim of capturing everyone.

Xie Lian grabbed Shen Qingqiu and jumped, so did Liu Qingge, successfully avoiding the attack.

“I'm fine now" said Shen Qingqiu, freeing himself from the hands holding him. He tightened his belt, breathing a sigh of relief that the bag was undamaged. He faced Mobei-Jun's freezing, expressionless eyes squarely. “Now we must fight him.”

Hua Cheng would give Luo Binghe a good fight, although he had no idea who would come out on top, he should at least be able to buy them some time to take on the second problem.

At that moment, Shen Qingqiu feared, Mobei-Jun was the worst kind of opponent they could have.

Taking a step forward, Mobei-Jun spoke, his gaze fixed on Xie Lian.

“You are strong". Shen Qingqiu was aware, not just anyone could break the Northern King's ice and still move with ease. “I'll contend with you first”.

A blast of cold accompanied the ice attacks. Xie Lian dodged deftly, breaking blocks with his fist, but he couldn't do it forever, eventually, he would reach a limit.

Neither Liu Qingge nor Shen Qingqiu wasted any time, their feet rushed to meet Mobei-Jun head-on. He would not allow it. Before they got too close, walls of ice would be formed, spikes coming out of the ground to get hurt them if it weren't for their reflexes and reaction speed.

“It's useless," Liu Qingge growled, "we can't get close enough for a hand-to-hand fight. If only I had a sword...”

Shen Qingqiu looked at their empty hands, to him it was the same. Other than Hua Cheng, none of them possessed a sword!

Without any spiritual weapon, getting close for a fist fight was a complicated, if not impossible task. Winning against a long-range fighter without a weapon, what a big joke!

To make matters worse, in that deserted terrain, there was no way to get anything to help them!

Liu Qingge kept trying to get closer, failing at every attempt, until he heard Shen Qingqiu.

“We won't be able to get close like this...”

Shen Qingqiu lay on his feet, he had moved far enough away from the ice, the perfect image of surrender.

Liu Qingge gritted his teeth tightly, not because that was true, but because of such a defeated attitude.

“Then think of something!" he shouted. "Weren't you the Lord of Qing Jing?! Weren't strategies your strong point?!”

Liu Qingge came up to Shen Qingqiu and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“We're going to be teachers!" he reminded, "We are going to let's wait for Yue Qingyuan to recover! Don't give up yet and move!”

Shen Qingqiu sighed. Really... Liu Qingge cheering him on was... implausible.

“So noisy... Who told you I gave up?”

Shen Qingqiu lifted his face, two shades of eyes facing each other, a growing determination.

“Destroy them," he ordered. “Any ice that appears, break it to pieces.”

“...You make it sound simple.”

Such thick ice would be no easy task.

“You weren't the God of War just because of your sword.”

Liu Qingge snorted, let go of Shen Qingqiu and walked straight to the walls blocking them.

“After?”

“Leave that to me.”

Liu Qingge paused, suspicious.

“...Can you do it?”

Shen Qingqiu thought for a second.

“...I don't know... But I have to try, don't I?”

On his side, Xie Lian continued to evade the ice attacks, breaking them if necessary.

He had lost sensitivity to pain centuries ago, but, still unable to feel, the body reacts to an injury. His movements, he noticed, were slower than before, it was harder to apply great force to his fists. It was the cold! It was numbing him! If he continued to just defend himself and abandon the attack, the end could be disastrous.

He had never faced such power before. Definitely, the demons of those lands could not be underestimated.

“My Lord needs me, I have no time to waste on you.”

The voice sounded right in front!

Mobei-Jun took the initiative for a close combat!

Although Xie Lian managed to block the blow, he still retreated several feet because of the force, what a heavy palm!

To his credit, Mobei-Jun showed signs of surprise to see him standing up, still able to fight.

“For a human, you have good stamina," he praised. “I guess I can't go easy on you.”

Finding out that this was "going easy" managed to arouse Xie Lian's nerves. Not because he was incapable of winning, but because, if this was the ability of a subordinate, what could one expect from the Lord?

His gaze strayed to the fight not far away in a moment of worry. There was nothing but red and silver flashes, the speed of the two combatants beyond being able to follow each other with their eyes.

'San Lang...'

He had to finish this figth. He had to do it quickly to help Hua Cheng.

“Are you sure you can ignore me?”

A black sword in its entirety was formed from the ice, whatever it was, it didn't bode well. He had to act now or the situation could get worse!

“And you...?”

Mobei-Jun felt the threat. That energy...!

Forgetting Xie Lian, Mobei-Jun returned his attention to the two people he thought he had under control.

Tens...hundreds...thousands of small pieces of ice floated in the air! All covered with demonic energy!

“Are you sure you can ignore us?”

Mobei-Jun looked at Shen Qingqiu, dumbfounded.

“You... How is it possible?”

All the pieces fell like a meteor shower on Mobei-Jun.

By itself, the ice was already hard. Covered with Shen Qingqiu's energy, the power must have multiplied at least three times more.

A terrifying attack, the perfect opportunity.

“Rouye!”

With the command, the white cloth shot out, Mobei-Jun was held firmly. Whether the attack affected him or not, Rouye was still a top-tier demonic weapon, escaping was not possible!

When the picture cleared up and the ice stopped raining, Mobei-Jun still didn't move, apparently, at least for a few minutes, he would be unconscious.

Xie Lian thanked the heavens, he was afraid that he would actually try to get away and have to go to Mu Qing to fix Rouye again.

“Good job," he complimented, only to notice Shen Qingqiu's poor condition.

Before he fell, Liu Qingge was already holding his back.

“You did it" he congratulated.

Shen Qingqiu was dedicated to calming his breathing.

“Look at me. We can hardly call it success.”

Embedding energy into objects was always his best skill, but he still couldn't handle demonic energy like spiritual energy, not to mention that the leafs are lighter than ice.

Xie Lian walked over, glad to confirm that he was only weak from exhaustion. A little rest and he would be fine.

“It's because you're not used to it yet. There are many things you have to learn, such as separating demonic energy from spiritual energy, for example. Once you've done that, getting tired won't be so easy.”

'That's good...' he thought. He didn't know it was possible to use spiritual energy despite being a demon. He was more used to spiritual energy anyway.

But, before that...

Luo Binghe deflected another scimitar attack, but Hua Cheng managed to dodge the kick to his ribs in time.

Another group of butterflies rushed towards Luo Binghe, but they fell dead before the demonic miasma that Xin Mo released.

Luo Binghe and Hua Cheng knew his aptitude in battle, just as they recognized his opponent's. Xin Mo never met rival before, but E-Ming, just as he couldn't cause Xin Mo any damage, it also just as easily resisted its attacks. The skill was also not bad, Luo Binghe dared to accept that his sword mastery was comparatively less fluent and sloppier. Hua Cheng, on the other hand, no matter how good he was at fighting with the scimitar, in terms of brute strength, accepted that Luo Binghe far surpassed him.

Their weaknesses were arranged with their strengths, Luo Binghe's golden halo and Hua Cheng's good fortune, each countered the other. In power level, they were evenly matched.

The victory... neither of them had it in their hands

Luo Binghe pulled Xin Mo back, ready to attack with full force. If the difference was in his muscles, so be it.

In slow motion, a bamboo hat appeared in his eyes. Pain shot through his bones, his body slammed into the ground. In a second, the kick carried him meters away, forming an entire crater.

Hua Cheng approached Xie Lian, clapping his hands.

“Your Highness is too strong. This devotee cannot compare.”

“Nonsense. San Lang is also very strong" replied Xie Lian, adjusting his hat.

The sound in the crater focused them on the battle again.

With all the dust settled, Luo Binghe was visible. Standing there, he was looking at Xie Lian with murderous eyes. The blood dripping from his head, coupled with the rage and glint in his eyes, the combination of it all resulted in a terrifying image.

Forced back twice by the same person, Luo Binghe's mood darkened even more than before.

On a quick inspection, he located Mobei-Jun's limp and imprisoned body on the ground. He didn’t think that Mobei-Jun could ever be defeated, but apparently he was just another useless pawn; instead, Xie Lian was an insistent nuisance.

“Gege," Hua Cheng spoke, "you don't need to struggle with him. I can handle it on my own.”

Xie Lian denied.

“San Lang, you got into this for me. I can't let you handle it all by yourself.”

That was the confirmation Luo Binghe was waiting for.

“Why are you helping him?" he asked.

To Luo Binghe, it was quite obvious that Hua Cheng wasn't particularly interested in Shen Qingqiu, as he didn't bother to help him earlier, only acting when Xie Lian was the one in danger. However, Xie Lian was quite the opposite; willing to face Luo Binghe head-on for the sake of protecting him.

Why?

Xie Lian contemplated the answer.

“Because he asked me to.”

For Luo Binghe, it was nothing more than an empty answer.

“Because he asked you to? You get into other people's trouble just because they ask for your help?" he snorted, only, after he said it, he didn't think it was funny at all.

An intense rage gripped him, why was Shen Qingqiu receiving mercy when he never gave mercy?

“Who do you think you are...?”

Luo Binghe went straight to Xie Lian, the urge to cut off his head was growing, just seeing his face disgusted him.

“God?!”

Xin Mo was successfully stopped by E-Ming, Xie Lian took care of the physical blows.

The once destructive battle took an even more uncontrollable turn.

“Do you have any idea who he is?! Everything he's done?!”

Luo Binghe released Xin Mo, using his spiritual control on it to make it face Hua Cheng alone. It wouldn't be as effective as manually handling it, but this way he could devote his full attention to a single person.

At the question, Xie Lian nodded.

“I know" he confirmed.

Hua Cheng told him. Everything about his life, Xie Lian knew. Acts, ideologies, trials, and rumors. He learned about everything.

Luo Binghe accelerated his speed, exasperated to see Xie Lian stop each of his attacks effortlessly. The fury rises.

“You know what a scum he was, but you still protect him!”

“The crimes that were committed in life, in life have been paid. He owes nothing now.”

Luo Binghe laughed due to the confirmation of his theory, insanity in laughter. Eyes have bloody veins, they are looking for Shen Qingqiu. As the two met, neither of them averted their gaze.

“So what...?”

It was a low tone, Xie Lian didn't even hear it, but, the more those eyes challenged him, Luo Binghe lost his reasoning.

Finally, he screamed, loud enough to be heard by his teacher. Anger and madness, pleasure and insanity.

“So what if you're dead?!”

It wasn't hard to guess, not by seeing Liu Qingge, not by piecing together the reasons why Shen Qingqiu went to that place, not by noticing that his blood didn't react, not by seeing Shen Qingqiu's perfect and complete body.

It was like breaking his sanity.

He stopped attacking, his eyes watching only Shen Qingqiu and no one else.

“Ah... Shizun... How dare you die? When did I give you permission?”

Even his voice was different. Softer, as if talking to a naughty child. Like talking to a disobedient pet.

“This disciple was careless, but he will not make the mistake a second time. I promise you that.”

“You...! Haven't you had enough?!" shouted Liu Qingge.

He smiled. A maniacal smile, capable of sending shivers down his spine.

“Enough? I can never get enough of Shizun. Shizun, you belong to me. Even with death, I won't let you get rid of me.”

“Pathetic.”

Luo Binghe's smile froze, melting with murderous fire that moved into his pupils.

“You don't even understand what you really want" Hua Cheng continued.  “That emptiness in your heart, you'll never be able to close it" he sentenced.

The words pierced Luo Binghe's chest more than the edge of a sword would.

“Shut up.”

An image comes to his mind, two bodies together, embracing, concerned for each other. Such a repulsive relationship, a parallel of his shizun and him, a different world, different circumstances.

“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!”

He grabbed Xin Mo again, swinging it against the other demon. His movements are more sloppy, but the strength of his hands and sword is even more powerful than before.

Liu Qingge is the one who notices, hidden in the night, but not enough to fool his keen eyesight, a broken-boned bird stalks the battle.

Realizing that it was discovered, at a great speed, the bird leaves its hiding place, heading straight for Xie Lian!

“Up!", Liu Qingge warns.

Everyone turns around, Luo Binghe regains his smile. The bird is already over Xie Lian, Hua Cheng isn’t close enough.

Something is wrong. Shen Qingqiu knows it, but he can't say what it is.

“Your Highness!”

The distance is pierced by a silver light. Xie Lian doesn't hesitate, stretches out his hand and takes the thrown object.

Finally, Shen Qingqiu understood, it's impossible for a broken-bone bird to be in such a place!

“It's a trap!" he shouts.

Luo Binghe laughs. It's already too late.

E-Ming cut the bird in half, Shen Qingqiu shuddered. The bird turned into a torrent of blood!

“Don't drink it!”

But there is no way a man can dodge all that blood. Only one drop needs to be consumed, after that, Luo Binghe will have complete control of the situation. Luo Binghe no longer had any doubt left. Who won...it was him.

But...

Xie Lian was not a man. Xie Lian was a god.

The Prince Who Pleased God. The Martial God Crowned with Flowers. Your Royal Highness, the Crown Prince of Xian Le.

In an unprecedented occurrence, Xie Lian actually dodged every drop, moving against it, using E-Ming to take the blood for him. His robes fluttered in a dance with the breeze, just like a parade hundreds of years ago. Under the lunar spotlight, his figure stood out against anyone's, mortal and immortal.

Thus, before a stunned Luo Binghe, all the blood fell to the ground, without achieving its goal.

For the first time in many years, Luo Binghe felt intimidated.

“Who are you? What are you?”

Xie Lian replied with a tone that was no less than humble.

“Just a rubbish collector.”

Meaningless words awakened a memory.

“Shizun," asked Ning Yingying's tender voice, "the statue in the bamboo house, which God does it belong to? It isn’t in any of our books.”

“He?" his Shizun's voice was low, even lower than normal, a little reluctant to answer, but unable to refuse his favorite disciple, "He's just a Rubbish God.”

The costume, the hairstyle, the artifacts and even the aura he emanated were different, so he was not immediately recognizable, but the facial features were the same, that smile and that eyes emitting compassion and calm.

Luo Binghe could see it now.

“You're the God of that damn statue!”

The resentment awoke, years of contempt and envy.

Hua Cheng, Liu Qingge, even Shen Qingqiu, all were ignored. Xin Mo directed his attacks at a single person.

Until now, Luo Binghe's attacks were demure, prudent in the face of his enemies. The current ones, on the other hand, had only one purpose: to kill.

It wasn't the same. It wasn't the same at all!

Shen Qingqiu had the impulse to jump in to help, Liu Qingge also let go, ready to provide support.

“That's not necessary.”

They both stopped, Hua Cheng had arrived at their side.

“I'm surprised you're not the first to go with him" Shen Qingqiu said.

“Your Highness is strong, he's the strongest of the three kingdoms" the confidence was absolute. “Besides, I am already with him”

Flashes of silver cut through the darkness. Under Xie Lian's control, E-Ming kept trembling, his eye twirled and twirled, completely enraptured by the hand wielding it. His excitement was reflected in every lunge, unwilling to look bad in front of Xie Lian, dedicated to surprise him, to impress him with his power. In an ironic aspect, the one who could draw the greatest strength from E-Ming was not its rightful owner.

But that wasn't all, while E-Ming was powerful, Xie Lian by himself was unstoppable.

The difference between having a weapon and not having a weapon, to Xie Lian, was as great as the distance between the heavens and the earth.

Facing strength trained for centuries, skill honed with time, prowess polished with a thousand past battles, Luo Binghe...was no match for divinity.

Impossible

Xin Mo was beaten, the legendary sword, barely able to defend against the scimitar.

Impossible

A powerful blow sent it into the rock wall, Xin Mo was pinned, out of reach, with no time to retrieve it.

Impossible, impossible, impossible

He exchanged fists and kicks, all were stopped without causing serious damage.

An accurate impact to his ribs, Luo Binghe felt his bones break.

His blood acted quickly, returning the body to its healthy state, but it was of little use, new wounds took the place of those that had been healed.

“Surrender.”

Luo Binghe's pupils shrank, the butterflies joined the battle, attacking like a torrent now that Xin Mo was no longer serving as a shield for him.

Cuts all over his body, the black robes were torn relentlessly.

“You can't win.”

Against Xie Lian, his defeat was... inevitable.

“No!" abandoned the silver tornado, he caught up to Xie Lian, resuming a meaningless battle. In his blows, only savagery remained, "I refuse to accept it!”

‘I can't... I can't...'

Xie Lian's palm hit the head. A lethal attack.

Luo Binghe fell, his body pressed to the ground, hands and legs tied by Rouye.

His senses were disoriented, but he was not unconscious. He could still hear.

“Gege, we've finished what we had to do. We don't need to stay any longer.”

There is a sound of recognition.

Luo Binghe listen, the dice are rolled.

With his blurred vision, little by little the figures take shape.

“We must go.”

The words clear Luo Binghe's mind. His sight focuses, in time to see a portal appear, a portal to a place far beyond his reach.

Fear grips him. A kind of fear he had never felt in the past.

“No...”

The voice alerts everyone, their nerves still present. They turn, ready to receive any attack.

None arrive.

Still, on the ground, Luo Binghe watches with lost eyes.

The wounds heal, they can see it, but it's as if Luo Binghe can't notice it.

In Luo Binghe's eyes, Shen Qingqiu is the only one who is reflected.

“Shizun, don't go..." he begs.

It looks...pitiful.

Like a child crying and begging for his parents.

Or... like a dog that is separated from the owner it loves so much.

Broken.

Shen Qingqiu watches him silently, distant, as he always did. Luo Binghe can't stand him. He has never been able to stand him.

“Shizun, don't leave me...”

Liu Qingge holds Shen Qingqiu by the arm.

“What are you doing? Let's go before he comes to his senses!”

He nods, letting Liu Qingge guide him to the portal.

Stops just before crossing

“Luo Binghe...”

The call transports him.

Suddenly, Luo Binghe seems not to be lying on the cold, hard dirt floor, but kneeling on the warm floor of a bamboo house that has long since ceased to exist.

The voice was soft, calm. Contains a feeling, maybe it's regret, maybe it's simple disinterest. He doesn't know. But...for the first time...for the first and last time...Luo Binghe finally feels as if Shen Qingqiu will consider him...a disciple of Qing Jing.

There are no more words. Shen Qingqiu...doesn't know what else to say.

The history between them is extensive, reciprocal hatred. Shen Qingqiu hurt him a lot, but... Luo Binghe took it upon himself to return all that he suffered.

The crimes that were committed in life, in life have been paid.

They owe nothing now.

So, he says no more. Before crossing, they take one last look at each other.

From the black eye, a tear escapes.

Shen Qingqiu...finally looked at him. He, Luo Binghe, and not the embodiment of everything Shen Qingqiu couldn't be.

The green robes go in, they get lost, and Luo Binghe can't see them anymore.

“No...”

Xie Lian crosses, Hua Cheng with him.

“You can't leave me...”

Rouye frees him, Luo Binghe stands up, runs after him.

“No, no, no!”

Crossing the last corner of cloth, the portal closes, and Luo Binghe falls to the ground again.

Only the moon is witness to the piercing scream.

—✧—

He opens his eyes, the black receives him.

Panic grips him, at least until the texture of the ceiling clears and more recent memories arrive.

He is no longer in that cave, Luo Binghe has been left behind.

He gets up, leaves the softness of the quilt. Shen Qingqiu leaves the room, but not before taking his new fan (a gift that Xie Lian insisted on giving him when she found out from Liu Qingge that “Shen Qingqiu loves fans”).

A month has passed since that night.

Ghost City is...unique, no doubt. The stories don't compare to witnessing the extravagance of the place.

At least Shen Qingqiu was prepared, Liu Qingge made a big fuss with the first demon (although he couldn't blame him, it was a boar with a knife, the image could even be traumatic...). If not for the fact that they were accompanied by the City Lord, a lot of trouble would have been caused.

However, Shen Qingqiu can't complain too much.

Xie Lian asked Hua Cheng to get them lodging and of course the Ghost King pleased his God in the best way, securing them a large residence. Too big for two people, in fact.

The citizens of Ghost City, though loud (and gossipy), don't treat them badly either. Not being the guests of their Lord.

They had Xie Lian's favor, so they had Hua Cheng's favor, and, with it, that of the entire city.

They lacked nothing, you could say they had a luxurious and carefree life, very similar to their days in Cang Qiong.

If it wasn't for Liu Qingge, who constantly pestered him to train together or to instruct him about the culture of that new land, everything would be very boring.

Maybe they should get out of Ghost City. Learn more about your new nation. Of the world across the sea. Make the legends an experience.

Sometimes...Shen Qingqiu wonders about Luo Binghe. He is sure that he is looking for him, but whether or not he will be able to find out his location, he can't know.

Even Shen Qingqiu didn't know where he was or how to get there. Not exactly.

When the statue of his God came to him, he was an ignorant youth. The names that traveler mentioned, all that lands, he had never heard before.

When he became Lord of Peak, he used his influence to gain information about the lands across the ocean. Maps and so on, he collected legends and deepened his vague knowledge, but he never shared it with anyone, even those moves were made in secret, as always, to protect his reputation.

Still, the legends were old, telling stories of countries and kingdoms that ceased to exist centuries ago. Locating them on a map was practically impossible, at best he got an approximation.

But all the knowledge he had took years of research, and at least he had an idea of where to start thanks to that traveler.

Luo Binghe hadn’t anything, only the image of a statue.

Even if he managed to find out that Shen Qingqiu was on the other side of the world, following him is a long task. Luo Binghe had his own Kingdom to rule, he couldn't leave it alone for so long.

And, even with the small chance that Luo Binghe would indeed follow him and find him, could he take him back? Before was his territory and he failed; now, the land belongs to Hua Cheng, the heavens support Xie Lian. What could he do?

Shen Qingqiu knows he is safe where he is, with whom he is.

He reaches the corridor, from where he can see the demons of Ghost City strolling in the streets.

Observe the reddish and always festive lights of the city. Everything is as lively as every day.

“Qi Ge, you have to wake up son…”

He touches the bag in his robe, where the soul still recovers.

“I've never been good at socializing, but you are. I think everyone here will like you too" he says.

Talking as if Yue Qingyuan could hear him is a habit he has acquired and will maintain until he can talk to him face to face.

“Liu Qingge is even clumsier than me, though. He still struggles with his expressions when approached by a strange looking ghost" the image managed to bring a smile to his face. “But...he still managed to have a great popularity in such a short time. I'm sure he hasn't noticed, but there are a lot more female ghosts on this street now than when we arrived. It can't be helped, I suppose. His beauty has always been otherworldly.”

Under the balcony, child spirits run, adult demons scream.

“Qi Ge... I plan to accept the school's proposal... We don't even need to move. This building is perfect, it only needs minor renovations.”

No one listens and no one responds, but that's okay.

“When you come back, I want you to see... my growth" he whispers. “I don't want to face you without having progressed. School... is a good start..." he hesitates a bit, but still continues, "That's why... I've decided... something else.”

He allowed himself to contemplate the passers by another bit, he had nothing to do anyway.

“Hey.”

Shen Qingqiu turns, Liu Qingge watches him. He has, like him, left the robes of Cang Qiong, replacing them with something simpler, but they still retain their colors.

“He came to visit us.”

In the guest room, Xie Lian contemplates the small box in his hands.

“Your Highness.”

Xie Lian smiles at the sight of Shen Qingqiu, who takes a seat in front of him. Liu Qingge by his side.

“I'm sorry for coming unannounced" he apologizes.

“It is for your Highness that we have this roof, you can come whenever you wish.”

Xie Lian wants to refute that, who gave the house was Hua Cheng after all, but he knows that Shen Qingqiu will still ignore him and insist on being grateful to him, so he decides not to.

“Besides, I was planning to visit your highness soon. Your visit is timely. But, before that, does your highness need anything from us?”

“Not really...”

Xie Lian shows Shen Qingqiu the little box in his hands.

“I came to give this to you. It's... something that belongs to you. In fact, I must apologize for not giving it to you before...”

Shen Qingqiu looks at Xie Lian, confused. He didn't remember having anything with him, all his belongings were lost a long time ago.

He takes the box. Curious, he allows himself to see inside.

The reflection of the light receives it, there are a pair of diamond earrings inside.

Beautiful.

Although Shen Qingqiu never lacked jewelry and accessories after becoming the Lord of Qing Jing, he could not remember any ornaments as beautiful as the earrings on his hand.

No.

It wasn't that they were extraordinarily beautiful, on the contrary, they were actually quite simple, subtle charm. It was just... he was attracted to them...

He felt the need to take them, to hide them, to simply protect them.

They were valuable.

They were his.

They were...

“Your ashes" Xie Lian revealed.

Liu Qingge showed a confused expression, clearly not understanding anything. On the other hand, Shen Jiu understood everything. At least, his demonic instinct did.

“I took the liberty of deciding that shape for them, so you can always keep them with you. I hope you don't mind...”

Shen Qingqiu denied. He wasn't a fan of earrings, but he wasn't sure where he should hide them either. It would be best to always have them with him. Besides, it was a good design...

“What are you talking about?" asked Liu Qingge, not wanting to be excluded from the conversation that seemed to be important. "Why should he keep them with him?”

Xie Lian laughed nervously, unsure of revealing something so important.

“These earrings are the only thing that can kill me.”

Both Liu Qingge and Xie Lian were surprised by the confession, even if the reasons were different.

Shen Qingqiu ignored the two's surprise, preferring to contemplate his one weakness.

If both earrings were destroyed, it would be the end of him.

He doesn't want to die. Not before he can be reunited with Yue Qingyuan, not before he can really live.

He was confident in his strength to keep them safe if necessary, but, perhaps, it would be too risky to keep them both close to him.

Now, what place is safe enough to keep the other pending, to trust with your life?

He had barely even allowed himself to tour Ghost City, he didn't know any other place. As for a person, he only trusted Xie Lian, but holding him responsible for his life...he wouldn't do that to him.

Where then?

“Are you sure it's okay that they're earrings? Aren't they fragile or something?" asked Liu Qingge.

Xie Lian denied.

“Since they are the ashes of a demon, they won't break so easily either. Besides, as long as no one knows they are his ashes, they won't try to destroy them.”

Liu Qingge nodded, serious. Then, he looked at Shen Qingqiu.

“Take good care of them, hide them where no one can destroy them or where no one suspects they are.”

Shen Qingqiu listened to him, finding that this was also an option.

A place where they would be well cared for, with a barrier strong enough to keep them from being destroyed and, moreover, where they no one suspected of being...

If you put those three factors together, then...

Shen Qingqiu took one of the earrings, Xie Lian watched in horror and panic as Shen Qingqiu put the earring in Liu Qingge's palm.

The ring on his chest felt warm at that moment, or perhaps it was his skin that was heated at such an innocent scene.

He should not give up his ashes so lightly!

He was about to reveal the meaning of a demon giving his ashes to another person when Liu Qingge beat him to it.

“I don't wear earrings.”

“...”

Xie Lian wanted to spit blood...

That... Could it be said that Shen Qingqiu was rejected?

“Didn't you say you'd watch my back?”

Shen Qingqiu opened his fan at that moment, leaving Liu Qingge only watching a pair of eyes challenging him to return his promise.

“I thought you were a man of your word.”

Liu Qingge felt his skin heat up, an impossible fact because he was dead, but... he still felt his face burn.

It was a challenge, and Liu Qingge was the competitive type.

“Good.”

Liu Qingge clenched his fist, not allowing Shen Qingqiu to snatch the earring he already gave him.

“I will protect him with my life" he vowed.

“I know" Shen Qingqiu smiled behind the fan. “That's why I'm giving it to you.

At this point, Xie Lian's ears were red. Maybe he should have spoken when he could, now...he would feel bad for ruining the moment.

Sigh. Shen Qingqiu trusted Liu Qingge and Liu Qingge wouldn't let anything happen to the ashes, that was the important thing for now.

It would clarify the feelings...in the future.

He coughed to get their attention.

“So...did you need me for something?" he asked.

Shen Qingqiu noticed the flushed cheeks, but he guessed that it was a little hot, so he didn't mention anything.

“The school..." he began, "I want to do it.”

The embarrassment was forgotten, Xie Lian regained his normal colors at once, his eyes taking on a new brightness from the news.

“That's good! I'll tell San Lang as soon as I get back, I'm sure he'll be happy too!”

The rest of the afternoon was spent discussing the construction of the school, and they agreed to meet the next day at Paradise Manor to clarify further details and possibilities with Hua Cheng.

At night, at the peak hour and typical disaster in Ghost City, Shen Qingqiu watched the animal-shaped demons and ghosts with too much makeup again. In his hands, he had a quick design of the school they would soon build.

White robes joined him, together and in silence they watched his new life.

In a now common act, it was Liu Qingge who initiated the talk. Since the day they met again, Liu Qingge showed interest in making Shen Qingqiu talk. This time, he wanted to get to know him, to understand him.

“Are you sure you want to call it that?”

“You don't like it? If you don't like it, tell me. We'll both be the teachers, we both have to agree.”

“I like it.”

“So?”

“I just thought...if it wouldn't be a little uncomfortable.”

Shen Qingqiu looked at the paper in his hands. On the top of the sheet, three words stood out: "Cang Qiong School".

“...Is it uncomfortable for you?”

Liu Qingge denied.

“Not anymore.”

Shen Qingqiu felt the same way.

Not anymore.

“Then it is decided.”

They didn't mention anything for a while, content to watch different faces appear and disappear in the crowd.

“When Yue Qingyuan returns, he will be the Director.”

Shen Qingqiu smiled, just a little.

“Of course he will be.”

When he come back...

“But, he might take a while to do it...“ he stresses.

Liu Qingge nodded, slowly. He watched Shen Qingqiu out of the corner of his eye.

“That's why," he began, "by the time he does, Cang Qiong must be a recognized school" he dictated.

The muscles in Shen Qingqiu relax in surprise.

His sight finally leaves the landscape, with Liu Qingge it is the same.

“I thought the Lord of Bai Zhan wasn’t ambitious.”

Shen Qingqiu wants to mock, and he would, if he didn't know that Liu Qingge seeks to encourage him.

Still, Liu Qingge plays along.

“Mh. I thought the Master of Qing Jing was pointing to the heavens, and look at us.”

The comment earned Shen Qingqiu a faint laugh, perhaps because it was true.

Liu Qingge smiled sideways, at least he succeeded in his task. He returned his attention to the people below, but Shen Qingqiu didn't look away from him.

The diamond in Liu Qingge's ear reflects the glitter of the streets. Shen Qingqiu touches the one in his own ear.

At the moment, he didn't think too far beyond logic, but...if it comes to entrusting his life to someone...he doesn't regret choosing Liu Qingge.

“...Shen Jiu.”

Liu Qingge again looks at him, this time without understanding.

“It was my name before I became the Chief Disciple of Qing Jing" he confessed.

Liu Qingge nods, not because he understands, but he doesn't know what else he should do other than let him know he has his attention.

“From now on... I'm going back to that name.”

Liu Qingge frowns, but he is no one to question his decisions.

His shoulders drop, accepting the change.

“Shen Jiu, huh?”

Shen Qingqiu...Shen Jiu nods, a tingle runs through his body. It's been years since someone else pronounced his real name.

“I'll have to get used to it.”

And he isn’t the only one.

Shen Qingqiu spent years disowning that name. Hating the reminder of having it: his origin, his life before he was Shen Qingqiu.

But...

Shen Qingqiu died.

He died in a cave, and with him, he took with him the sadness and bitterness he accumulated in that life.

For the future ahead of him, being "Shen Qingqiu"... didn't seem suitable.

On the contrary, to make peace with that slave boy who was considered rubbish...there was nothing he would like more than that.

After all, a devotee who worships the best God of all cannot consider himself to be rubbish.

—✧—

.

.

.