Chapter Text
When he woke up this morning, Changbin knew it was going to be a bad day. He felt like he was stuck in a noose, a constant ringing in his ears without being able to really concentrate on any sound.
He finally got up, going down to the kitchen to meet his parents and sister, today he didn't have class but had to join JYP for training and a studio session.
Arriving in the kitchen, he gave his mother a quick hug before falling into his sister's arms, hiding his face against her neck. His sister only patted his back, a hand passed over one of his ears, Changbin understood that his sister checked if he was wearing his hearing aids.
Yes, that was Changbin's big secret, he was hard of hearing, having learned it at just twelve years old after tests following a near accident. Changbin had never really realized that his hearing was bad or worse than others. He had answered the doctor's questions, taken many tests without knowing why he had such a hearing loss.
Then he was given hearing aids, but Changbin didn't like wearing them, so he rarely wore them at home, more often in training at the agency, and fortunately his hearing aids were invisible enough to be hidden by his hair.
Moreover, Changbin had hidden his disability from the JYP, so his parents themselves did not know that he had not told them. So Changbin managed to keep up with his rap and dance classes on his own.
When his hand disappeared from his ear, his sister pulled him back to look at him.
_How are you today, Binnie?
Changbin only shrugged, not having fully understood his sister's words as she repeated them with her signature. It was something he and his family had learned, sign language, to simplify those times when his hearing was too low for him to understand everything.
_Do you want me to call the agency to apologize today? His mother asked him when she saw how little communication he was showing.
_No, no, it's okay, he said sharply, wincing as his voice sounded a little foreign to himself.
_All right, take some medicine now so you won't have a headache later.
Changbin nodded and took the famous medicine that made him get over the many headaches of wearing his hearing aids. Then he ate breakfast, watching his parents and sister talk, hearing very little of their discussion.
He then went back to his room to get dressed for the day, grabbing his bag where he kept a change of clothes, his notebook and also the famous hearing aids.
In order not to be disturbed to take the transport, it was his father who brought him back to the agency by leaving himself to work. Changbin thanked him with a slight sign before entering the agency, greeting politely the hostesses before taking the elevator to join the room where he had rap class.
The class went well enough, although Changbin didn't seem to pay much attention to what the teacher was saying, luckily for him Jisung, another trainee younger than him but in the agency for a year already, was right next to him. He was religiously repeating what the teacher was saying loudly enough for Changbin to hear him and to understand what he was saying correctly.
After the rap class, Jisung quickly got on his feet looking at Changbin with a big smile. The latter took his things surely a little too slowly for the taste of the youngest who complained to go faster.
The two of them were actually going to the studio to join Bang Chan, another trainee and senior who had invited them to join him in his writing and composing sessions one day after seeing the younger two's lyric books.
Bang Chan already knew Jisung, minus Changbin who had just arrived in the agency, but he had spontaneously proposed that the three of them get together. Of course Jisung agreed, and Changbin did the same, but more quietly.
Jisung practically pulled Changbin behind him shoving some trainees not really bothering to say anything other than a simple sorry while Changbin bowed apologetically.
Once they arrived in front of the studio that Bang Chan had rented for them, Jisung pushed the door open without knocking, saying that Chan must already have his helmet on. This was true because the elder was already on his computer, with his back to them, his headset resting on a tuft of disheveled curls.
Changbin entered silently as Jisung had already jumped on the elder's back making him scream in fear.
_Oh my God, can't you be a little calmer like Changbin, Chan complained with his hand on his heart.
Jisung only stuck out his tongue before taking his things out of his bag, Changbin having already taken his things out took the seat next to the elder leaning slightly to see what he was working on. Chan resumed his seat turning the computer a little so that Changbin could see better.
_This is an old sound I'm working on, the older man explained, do you want to hear it?
Changbin tensed at his words, he could not suddenly put on his devices, but could not say no to his elder either. So he nodded slowly, accepting the elder's headphones and placing them on his own head.
He signaled to the elder that he could start the sound, unfortunately Chan always listened quite low to the sound as he listened to it several times, so Changbin hardly heard anything.
_So? the elder asked when the sound ended.
_Can I listen to it again, Hyung? Maybe turn it up a little louder? I have a little tinnitus since this morning.
_Oh sure, wait.
Chan turned the volume up a little, not enough for Changbin to hear everything correctly but enough for him to get a pretty good idea of what he was listening to. Without thinking about it to hear some of the sound better, he grabbed Chan's hand on the mouse and turned the volume up to the maximum himself.
This surprised Chan who let him do it but was a little disconcerted by the suddenly too loud volume he could hear through the headphones. Jisung himself had turned away from his notebook to look at them, the elder wondered how Changbin had not flinched at the sudden sound. Changbin stopped the sound and took off the headphones and put them on the desk.
_It's a very good sound, Hyung, I think you might want to slow it down a bit in the second segment.
Chan nodded and gave Changbin a brief look before taking off his headphones. Changbin resumed his speech in progress and if he took a little time to answer Jisung who called him several times, no one took notice. Although Chan kept an eye on Changbin more than usual, trying to find out what was wrong.
It was two hours later that the trio parted, Changbin joined a dance class and quickly went to the bathroom to put on his hearing aids.
He winced at the sound he heard as soon as he turned them on, the bathroom was quiet, but he felt like something was rapping on a wall. He finally went out to the dance studio, wincing inwardly as he heard the shouts and laughter when he entered the room.
Unsurprisingly, he got a good headache five minutes after leaving the class, so he bought a simple sandwich for lunch, looking for a place to eat in peace. He finally found one of the small rooms where one could train solo. He sat down, put his bag on the desk, took off his hearing aids and took a painkiller before eating his sandwich.
He was surprised by Jisung's sudden entrance, loud enough to hear him grimace slightly due to his migraine.
_Hyung! I thought we would eat together, but I couldn't find you, Sana noona said she saw you come here!
_Yes, I have a small headache, I preferred to be quiet.
_Oh, did you take something?
_Yes, I had something in my bag.
Jisung nodded but didn't leave the room, his eyes were drawn to the box on the table. Before Changbin could even stop him after seeing where the younger man's gaze landed, Jisung already had the box in his hands and opened it.
He was more than surprised to see what they had inside, while he thought he would find headphones or something like that, what he found was more than disconcerting.
_Why do you have hearing aids? The younger man asked, looking at the older man.
The latter was looking at his hands, clenching his fingers together, mentally insulting himself without having heard the younger one.
Jisung realized quite quickly that the older one had not heard him and patted him gently on the shoulder. This made Changbin now look at the other with wide open eyes, wavering between fear and shame.
_Hyung? Are you deaf?
Jisung had raised his voice a little just in case, and Changbin let out a feverish gasp.
_No...I...I'm hard of hearing, the older man admitted in a small voice.
Not that it made any difference, Jisung heard him very well, closing the door quickly and sitting down opposite the elder.
_Since when? Wait, all those times I had to call you several times to get you to finally react was because you really couldn't hear me?
_Yes... I rarely wear my hearing aids, they give me a headache, I have a permanent crackling sound when I put them on so I only take them for dance classes, because it's hard to concentrate on the music otherwise...
_Well shit then, why didn't you tell us?
_Nobody knows, Jisung, at least in the company.
_Wait, the agency doesn't know? But the audition?
_I practiced for months to rap without hearing myself, to articulate and have a clear and fast saying.
Jisung watched him silent now, Changbin didn't know what to think, did the youngest hate him now? Was he going to report him to the representative?
_Hyung... you're amazing.
Changbin blinked in surprise, looking at the confused youngster, was he amazing?
_You're one of the best rappers I know, but you can't even hear yourself rap?
_Well, I can hear myself a little bit...
_Even though you rap so well despite your handicap, you prove to everyone that a handicap doesn't stop someone who wants to achieve his dream and by hiding this from everyone.
_Yeah...
_You know I'm not going to say anything if you're afraid I'll tell someone, not even Chan-hyung I promise.
_Really?
_Yes really, even I can help you if you want, now I understand why you look a little lost in some training.
_I often sit next to you, because you speak quite loudly while reciting the instructions, the older man admitted.
Jisung laughed and promised to keep reciting the instructions loud enough for his hyung to hear. Then Changbin answered all the questions that the younger man asked him.
How long had he been hard of hearing? What could he hear? And all other questions so that he could help Changbin in the future. The latter was more than surprised and touched by this, Jisung was not really the kid you would expect to do such a thing.
In truth, the first time Changbin had met him, he had found the youngest a bit full of himself and proclaimed himself the best rapper of the class.
He was also quite loud and childish, yet he was showing great maturity at the moment listening to the elder while taking notes on his phone. He even asked Changbin to teach him sign language, although he added that it would be pretty cool to have a secret language between them to make fun of Chan.
Well one could not really ask too much of the youngest, the latter ended up staying with him during their free time before they went home, well Changbin at his place and Jisung at the dormitories where he lived.
On the way home, Changbin was happy to see his sister already there watching a program on TV. He put his bag on the floor of the hall with his shoes and came to snuggle on her lap. His sister looked at him amused but let him, then Changbin explained what had happened.
The elder was happy to know that now one of his friends knew his secret and offered to help him in the future, she did not forget to ask her brother how he felt now that someone knew.
Changbin admitted that he was a little afraid that someone else would find out, someone less nice than Jisung. His sister reassured him that she would take care of the future idiot if he existed, making him complain that he was old enough to defend himself. He forbade his sister to say that she was taller than him, he was still growing.
Their mother found them both on the couch, Changbin pouting and his sister laughing at him.