Chapter Text
After everything is said and done, once they're out of the Upside Down and they have checked on the kids and gotten rid of their wet and mucus-splattered clothes, the only thing Robin really wants to do is go to sleep. She can already feel how nice it will be: her head on the pillow, pulling the blanket up over her face so there's no noise and it gets wonderfully dark – well, maybe not that, not tonight or not ever again, but at least laying down, stretching out, just no running anymore.
She knows she can't, though. Steve has done an impressive job holding it together all throughout the Upside Down – more than impressive, in fact, she'd barely seen the dude wince, and really that could not be healthy, could it? – but he was bitten by some wild-magic-monster-thing and he is still only wrapped up with a filthy piece of fabric, so it seems pretty necessary to do something about that now that the worst is over. He needs to go to a hospital.
She says as much to Nancy, pulling her back by her sleeve so the others can't hear. They both glance over at Steve at the same time. He's leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, saying something to Eddie, who looks surprisingly amused. She has a feeling they are talking about the kids – if there's one thing those two have in common, it's their care for the little shitheads.
'You're right,' Nancy says. 'But I don't know how much longer I can stay away from home. My parents have had a rough night.'
Robin really doesn't mean to – the scoff just slips out.
Nancy gives her half a smile. 'For their standards.'
'I'll stay with him,' she offers. 'I just need someone to drive. I bet Steve would say he can do it, but I've had enough near death experiences for one night.'
Nancy casts another glance at Steve. 'He's not going to say that. He's going to refuse to go.'
XXX
Of course, Nance is right. Robin knows it the moment she says it, and Steve plays his part with vigor. He tries it all: 'I can take care of it myself'; 'I barely feel it'; 'It has already stopped bleeding'; 'I just need to rest'. Robin is not impressed by his bullshit, and she is glad that Nancy isn't, either. Between the two of them, they force a weakly struggling Steve into the backseat of Nancy's car. Robin sits next to him, just in case.
Fortunately, the hospital isn't far. Steve seems to have decided to protest his faith through quiet moping. He barely says anything during the ride, just stares out of the window. It makes her nervous to think he may actually be mad at her, but she tells herself to cut them both some slack. After fighting monsters together, and Russians, and two frustrating retail jobs with frustrating managers and frustrating customers, she's pretty sure that this isn't going to drive a wedge between them. They've had a rough night, is all. If Steve wants to mope, she'd say he has deserved it.
Eventually, Nancy pulls into the hospital parking lot. It is mostly deserted, the streetlamps casting pools of light over empty parking spots that look decidedly forlorn. At least none of the lights are flickering. Robin doesn't want to check – doesn't want to make that shit a habit – but she can't help it.
She pats Steve's arm. 'Come on, dingus. We're here.'
Finally, he looks back at her. When their eyes meet, he grins. 'You sure you want to spend the next four hours in a first aid waiting room? Because if we go inside now, we're gonna spend four hours in a first aid waiting room. It's not too late to get taco's instead.'
'Maybe if you hadn't jumped into that lake, we could have.'
'That's not fair!'
'I know.'
The banter is good, Robin tells herself. It's familiar, it means that Steve is awake and alert and probably not in unbearable amounts of pain, and yet she still feels on edge. Steve's pale. The grin fades the moment he thinks she's distracted. He's tensing and relaxing his fingers in a steady rhythm.
'I'm really sorry I can't come,' Nancy says.
She's gotten out of the car, too, and is smoothing her skirt is a nervous motion. It stuns Robin that she still wears these kinds of clothes, so nice and neat and so pastel-coloured. She doesn't look like a girl with two guns in her room, but then again, Steve doesn't look like a guy who fights monsters in his spare time – well, normally he doesn't, when he has, you know, showered, and isn’t covered in scrapes and bruises. Robin bets she doesn't look like a girl that has been threathened with torture once.
'It's okay,' Steve says. 'Go calm down your parents. We don't need mrs. Wheeler to lose it just yet. What would she do the next time we have a monster to fight?'
'Please,' Nancy says. 'Don't suggest that.'
Then, without warning, she launches herself forward and hugs Steve. Robin can see him grimace over her shoulder, but he wraps his arms around her as well and holds her. He says something, quietly, and she's pretty sure that if it's anything important he will tell her about it later, so she kicks the pavement a little and whistles a few toneless notes.
They let go after a few moments and Nancy gives an awkward little smile and a wave to Robin. 'Don't let him escape. And no swimming.'
They wait in the parking lot until Nancy has driven off. Then Robin says: 'Let's go.'
Steve follows her, dragging his feet.
XXX
The waiting room is mercifully empty. They receive a few forms to fill out, which Steve lets Robin do. She asks him a question occasionally, but most of this information she knows: his middle name, his date of birth, his allergies, previous injuries. Steve has gone quiet again. He is leaning back in his chair, eyes closed. The only part of him that moves are his fingers, ticking a franckly annoying rhythm against his thigh. She doesn't say anything about it, just keeps an eye on him. At first glance he may look relaxed, but he's not. She can tell by the shoulders – slightly too high – and the small crease in his brow. He is probably in more pain than he wants to let on. Robin moves her leg a little, just enough to nudge his knee with hers.
After a while, a door next to the reception opens and a young woman calls: 'Mr. Harrington?'
Robin looks over at Steve. When he doesn't react, she kicks his shin, softly. 'You awake?'
'Yeah.'
'That's you.'
'I know that,' he snaps.
She pulls back, startled. He has already pushed himself up and he doesn't wait for her as he heads for the door. She hurries after him. From behind, it is clear he keeps an arm pressed protectively against his side.
The young woman smiles when they pass her. 'You can sit down on the table in the back. Make yourself comfortable. The doctor will be in any minute.'
Robin gives her a fleeting smile, before she closes the door behind them.
Steve has already walked over to the table. He pushes himself up, wincing as he does so. He settles on the edge of the table, looking at his lap and nothing else. He seems decidedly tense now, like he may jump and run at the slightest noise, and he is twisting the hem of his shirt.
Robin looks at him, unsure of what to say, and then, all of a sudden, it clicks.
'You're scared.'
He looks up and scoffs. 'I'm not scared'.
Robin just raises her eyebrows. Now she has finally seen it, it is obvious. She can't believe she hasn't been aware the entire time. And she can't blame him. Hospitals are scary, and Steve has been through enough pain for a lifetime.
There is a prolonged silence in which they just stare at each other.
'Sure, fine, maybe I'm a little uncomfortable. '
'No,' she says. 'You are scared.'
Steve takes a deep breath, as if he's getting ready to deny it again, but then his body slumps. All the fight of the past hours seems to drain out of him at once, dripping to the floor and leaking away through the crack of the door. He looks down, shoulders pulled in as if to make himself small.
'Alright, yes,' he says quietly. 'I am scared.'
'Great.' Robin gives him an awkward grin. 'Admittance is the first step towards recovery.'
But when Steve doesn't smile back – or rather, when his attempt to smile fails hopelessly – she softens as well. Not giving herself time to hesitate, she puts her hand over his. He turns his palm up so he can grab her fingers. She squeezes, unsure if she’s relieved to have made the right choice, or concerned with his sudden acceptance of comfort. Her body decides on both, stomach and lungs uncomfortably tight.
'I'll be right here, okay?' she says. 'If they want to throw me out, they can try. I've learned something fighting those monsters, just watch.'
This time, Steve's grin looks at least marginally more like an actual smile. 'Thanks, Rob.'
The moment is interrupted when the door opens and the doctor walks in. She's in her fifties, with graying curls and seashell-shaped earrings, yet Steve reacts as if she's a demogorgon herself. He pulls up his shoulders, whole body going tense and stiff, his hand clutching hers thightly.
'I'm doctor Rose, but you can call me Lisa,' the doctor says, smiling. 'Do you prefer “mr. Harington” or “Steven”?'
'Steve,' Steve mumbles, not really looking at her.
'Okay, Steve.' She sits down on a stool with little wheels and rolls over to the table. 'Is your friend staying with you?'
He nods and Lisa gives Robin a smile. She introduces herself but she doesn't shake the doctor's hand – she's occupied rubbing Steve’s knuckles with her thumb.
'Let's have a look then, shall we?' the doctor asks. 'Can you take off your shirt?'
Steve does as he is told. He keeps the shirt in his lap, balled in his free hand.
'Okay?' Lisa asks.
She waits for Steve to nod before she comes closer. Robin already likes her – she seems efficient and kind, without too much of that false cheer that doctors so often seem to display. However, as soon as she reaches out, Steve flinches, leaning ever so slightly away from her.
'I'm just going to put my hand on your stomach,' she tells him. 'I won't touch the injury yet, promise.'
He swallows and nods yet again. When she leans forward and touches his stomach to position him and get a better view of the wound, he remains tense but doesn’t move away.
'Those are some impressive gashes,' Lisa says. 'How did this happen?'
Steve opens his mouth and closes it, clearly not prepared to lie, so Robin says the first thing that comes to mind: 'It was a raccoon.'
The doctor raises her eyebrows. 'What did you do, fight it?'
'Yes, no, I mean, well, we heard a noise outside. And it was dark. So Steve was like: what if it's the killer? And I was like: then maybe you should stay inside. And then he was like: but what if someone's in trouble? So anyway, he went outside, and he took, you know, a baseball bat, and then when he saw something move I guess he panicked and he swung. And the raccoon was not amused. So, eh, a little bit stupid. But also a little heroic, you know?'
The doctor blinks twice, then seems to decide to let it slide.
'In any case,' she tells Steve, 'he got you good. Did you clean the wounds at home?'
'We did,' Robin says.
'That's good. I will do so again, just to be sure. They are a little ragged, and they've already stopped bleeding, so I think we can skip the stitchs tonight. However, with raccoons, there is a serious risk of infection. Tell me, Steve, did you ever get a rabies vaccine?'
'Eh, no,' Steve says. 'But I – '
'Alright, we should take care of that, then.'
Robin would have laughed, if only Steve had not blanched so visibly. 'I really don't think – that's not necessary. The raccoon – it looked – it looked totally normal. No foaming or anything. I feel fine, really.'
'I'm sorry, but an animal not displaying symptoms can still transmit rabies. We really should give you the vaccines, just in case.'
'Vaccines? Plural?' Steve is clearly getting agitated now. She squeezes his hand tighter, the only thing she can think of to do. What is Steve so scared of? Pain? That doesn't seem likely. The needle, then? Suddenly, Robin remembers the huge needles the Russians had put in their necks, the biting pain of it, the fair of being injected with something unknown, and she shudders. It wasn't even her who brought up the rabies this time, but she somehow still regrets it.
'Don't worry, love,' the doctor says. 'It's been a couple years since we have last done the fourteen shots in the abdomen. It is not going to be anything quite that scary, okay?'
'So there is only one?' Steve asks, his voice a little high. The reference to fourteen shots seems to have done him absolutely no good, even if it was only to tell him he would not have to go through such a thing. He's still alarmingly pale. Robin is pretty sure he was not aware what the treatment for possibly rabies-infected wounds used to entail.
'We will do two today, and three more over the coming fourteen days,' Lisa says.
Steve makes a little shocked sound that shakes Robin to the core. Instinctively, she comes closer, putting her free hand on his shoulder.
'And there is no way around it?' she asks.
'I am afraid not. I'm sorry, honey, but this really is the only way.'
The doctor does look sympathetic. Robin is glad she is not telling Steve to toughen up. She doesn't know what she would have done if she had. Steve has been so goddamn tough for so goddamn long – all she wants to do is to put an arm around his shoulders and take him home with her, tuck him into bed where nothing and no one is going to touch him again. He is her best friend, she feels like she has seen him bleed almost as often as she has gotten dinner with him, and she hates it so much it hurts.
Steve swallows. She can see the moment he pulls his persona back up, the bravoura, as he gives Lisa a smile and says: 'It's okay. Do what you have to.'
Lisa smiles back. 'Let me get everything ready.'
The moment she turns around, Robin leans over to Steve. 'How are you holding up? Really?'
'All good,' he says.
'Stop lying.'
'Why?' He suddenly sounds a little angry. 'It is going to happen anyway. Might as well try to embarrass myself as little as possible in the process.'
'It is not embarrassing to be scared.'
'My father and every friend I've had prior to becoming Hawking's prime babysitter would disagree with you there.'
As so often when Steve refers to his life before the Upside Down opened up, Robin gets a little sad, but now is not the time for that.
'Well, I agree with me. And I'm the only one here. So you don't have to keep up the act.'
The doctor turns back to them. She is wearing gloves now and she has a little metal cart with all manner of things that she pushes next to the table. Robin cannot see any needles on it, but there is a piece of sterile gauze with a suspicious bulge underneath.
'I'll start with the cleaning, alright?' Lisa says. 'This will sting a bit. Are you ready?'
Steve takes a deep breath and turns a little so his side is easier to reach. Lisa takes up some wipes and carefully swipes them around, then over the wounds. As soon as the wipe makes contact with the bloody gashes, Steve gasps and his hand contracts around Robin's. At the next wipe, he squeezes his eyes shut, groaning quietly.
It takes a couple more swipes before Lisa is done. By then, Steve is trembling marginally, biting his lip and looking sweaty.
'There, honey, very well done,' Lisa says, somehow without sounding condescending. 'I know that doesn't feel great. Take a couple of deep breaths, okay?'
Steve does as she says. The first breath is shuddery, but by the fourth he sounds almost calm. If Robin had her eyes closed, she could have been fooled. But she doesn't have her eyes closed, so she can see very well how Steve's eyes track every movement Lisa makes.
'Okay, love,' Lisa starts. 'Now I have to do the vaccines, I'm afraid. Is there anything we can do to make you a little more comfortable?'
Steve takes another deep breath. Then he shakes his head. 'I'm good,' he says again, voice slightly rough.
'Shall I just do the first one and we can see how that goes?' Lisa asks.
Steve nods, and Robin gets the sense that he just really, really wants this to be over with. She can sympathize. She moves her hand from his shoulder to his upper back, rubbing slowly, hoping that will distract him a little. When the doctor takes out the needle, however, Steve's eyes go wide and he seems to fight the instinct to scramble backwards. His breathing hitches and picks up and Robin quickly says: 'Hey, did I ever tell you about this time in primary school when I brought a snake into the classroom?'
'No,' Steve says, but she is not sure he is truly listening. She tucks his hand to get his attention, stepping even closer to him so their legs are touching. 'Well, I found it outside. It was just a small snake, and it was lying very still in the sun. I thought it was dead, but my mom had once told me that dead snakes can still be venomous – I think she lied about that, by the way, she probably just didn't want me to go about playing with snakes...'
The doctor is sitting right next to Steve now.
'Relax your arm, honey. Just a little pinch,' she says, and then she pushes the needle in Steve's arm.
He seizes up immediately, his breathing speeding up drastically, and he squeezes his eyes shut again. Robin had expected it to be an in-and-out-affair, but Lisa is slowly pushing the medicine out and the needle is just sitting there right in Steve's arm and oh shit, Robin doesn't care about needles but she thinks she may be getting a little nauseous as well. Quickly she looks over at Steve's face, but that is no better – no, nope, that is absolutely much worse. Because from beneath Steve's closed eyelids, a single tear squeezes out and drips over his cheek. Without thinking about it, she moves her hand from his back to his hair and pulls his face into her shoulder. She can feel him shaking. All the while, she keeps talking: 'Anyway, I thought it was dead and I wanted to take it with me because it looked so cool, but I was also frightened of it. So instead of gripping it with my hand, I threw my bag over it and just sort of scooped it up and closed the backpack. And then I took it to school. But it was not dead, dude. It was really, really alive, and when I opened my backpack it slithered right out – '
Finally, the doctor pulls the needle back. 'All done there, sweetheart.'
Steve doesn't react, just stays tucked against Robin. She cards her fingers through his hair. 'Breathe, Stevie,' she reminds him, and she can feel him trying, hot puffs of air against her shoulder. The doctor smiles at her and gestures to take their time, before turning around and busying herself with something out of sight. It takes a while before Steve very slowly sits up again. She lets her hand fall from his head, but she doesn't take a step back.
'I'm sorry,' Steve says in a small voice.
'Hey, no, stop that, you dingus,' she says. 'You're all good.'
'Yes,' the doctor chimes in. 'Believe me, I deal with much more troublesome patients on a daily basis. And you know what, I don't blame them, either. I love my job, but it is not like I go around visiting hospitals for fun.'
Steve just looks at his lap, but Robin can tell the assurances are settling him at least a little.
'Do you need another moment, or should we get this over with so you can go home?' Lisa asks.
'Over,' Steve says. 'Please.'
'Alright.' The doctor comes closer again. 'This second shot is not going to be in the arm, I'm afraid. It is a fast working medicine, to cover the time until the other shots have been administered. I need to inject it directly around and into the wound. It is going to be a couple different pricks quickly after one another, okay?'
But it is clear that this is not okay. Steve might have been able to get through the needle in his arm, the idea of a needle close to, even in the wounds is clearly too much. His free hand flies up and clutches Robin's jacket. 'No,' he says. 'Nononono, I can't, I can't do that, not right now, please, I can't do that.'
He is breathing so fast Robin is afraid he will hyperventilate, and the doctor seems to be thinking the same thing. She holds up her hands, showing their emptiness.
'Steve,' she says. 'I need you to calm down. I am not doing anything without your consent, so I need you to listen to me and calm down. You will make yourself pass out this way. Count with me. Four seconds in - one, two …'
It takes a visible effort, but Steve listens, and slowly his breathing calms down again, though he does not let go of Robin's jacket. 'I really can't,' he says, calmer but no less frightened. There are no pretenses now.
'I understand it is difficult,' Lisa says patiently. 'But we need to, and I know you can. You were scared before, and you took that injection like a champ.'
'That wasn't in the wound!'
'I know, love, I know,' the doctor says. 'How about we think together of something that may help. Do you want me to put on some music?'
Steve shakes his head.
'No? Okay, then. Robin seemed to help last time, didn't she?'
After a moment of hesitation, Steve nods. He is not looking anyone in the eye.
'Maybe she can be a little closer to you still, make sure you do not move. Would that be okay?'
'If she is okay with it,' Steve mumbles.
Lisa looks over at her and it takes a moment before Robin realizes she is waiting for her permission. 'Of course! Of course, anything that'll help. I can do another snake story, or … '
'I was thinking, maybe you can sit on the table as well, with your back against the wall. Steve can lean against you. That way, you can keep him comfortable while I still have good access to the wound.'
'Steve?' Robin asks quietly. 'Is that okay with you?'
He swallows convulsively a couple times, like he is going to throw up, then nods and lets go of her hand. Quickly, Robin pushes herself onto the table and settles against the wall. The doctor helps Steve move back until his back is pressed to Robin's side. She turns a little so he can lean against her chest and wraps her arms around him. It should feel weird, holding Steve like this – close as they are, neither of them is very physically affectionate and they do not hug often. Still, she doesn't mind it, the warmth of his body against her, his familiar smell. Really, she is just happy he is letting her do this. She halfway expects him to push away any moment now, insisting that he is fine, but he does not, and after a few tense moments, he somewhat relaxes, leaning into her. He reaches up to grab her wrist.
'Comfortable?' the doctor asks.
They both nod.
'Steve, is it okay if I begin now?'
Steve makes a low sound, almost a whimper. But then he takes a trembling breath and says: 'Go ahead.'
'Alright,' the doctor says. 'Keep breathing now, okay? Big stick.'
The moment the needle sinks into Steve's side, his whole body goes rigid and his free hand scrambles for purchase on the table. He whines and pushes himself tightly against Robin. She clutches him to her, pressing her nose in this hair and whispering comforting nothings under her breath: 'You're alright, it's okay, I've got you. You're okay, Steve, it's going to be okay.'
She doesn't know which of them is holding onto her words most.
The doctor pulls the needle out and for a moment Robin thinks it is over, but then she plunges it in again in a different place. This time, Steve definitely whimpers. He turns his head so his face is hidden against her neck. The needle is pulled out again. Pushed in.
'Stop,' Steve says, whipping his head back and forth, fingers spasming. 'Fuck, stop, stop, please.'
She removes the arm wrapped around his chest to press his head further into her shoulder, keeping him from moving. Hot tears touch her skin. The needle is out – in – and Steve sobs.
'It's okay,' she whispers, desperately. 'I'm here, it's almost done, you're great, you're doing great, it's almost over.’
'Nearly there, honey,' the doctor says. 'This is the last one.'
Steve is crying uncontrollably now. He doesn't calm when the needle is pulled for the last time, but at least Robin can stop holding him still. She frees her wrist so she can turn him a little. His arms come up and he grabs the back of her jacket, sobbing into her shoulder.
'It's all over, now,' Robin whispers. 'You're done. Just let it out, Steve, I'm right here, just let it out.'
Steve does, holding her until very slowly his crying subsides into hiccuping. Only then does he gingerly sit up, wiping his eyes and nose with the back of his hand.
'Fuck,' he whispers. 'That fucking sucked.'
Robin strokes the hair from his face. 'I know. You did great though.'
'Please tell me how crying hysterically is anywhere near 'great'? I acted like a kid. Actually, I've seen the kids be tougher.'
As much as Steve's shame bothers Robin, she is glad he has the spirit again to be contrary.
'You didn't,' she says. 'You acted like an awesome friend and babysitter and video-rental-employee who happens to be scared of needles and who has had a really, really rough go of it for, let's say, the last four years.'
At that he finally, finally looks at her. His eyes are red from crying and still a little too shiny and his whole face looks puffy but at least he is looking her in the eye. 'Thank you,' he says softly. 'Seriously. I think that went way beyond what the friend-contract obliges you to do.'
'Well,' she lowers her tone so the doctor can't hear them. 'You got hit by Russians for me, which also seems a little overachieving.'
'At least I was cool about the Russians.'
'Yeah, maybe we should have drugged you.'
He smiles. It is the tiniest smile possible, but it is a smile, and it seems genuine.
'Why don't you let the doctor wrap you up so we can get out of here?' she says. 'You can come home with me, and we will hang in my room and eat ice cream and pause Fast Times at exactly the right time.'
'You always know what to say, Rob,' Steve says.
She slides out from under him, and when she holds his hand as the doctor wraps bandages around his middle, his fingers stay relaxed. At last, she is allowed to tuck him off the table too. She throws an arm around his shoulders.
'Thank you,' Steve says to the doctor on the way out, because of course he would not forget his manners.
'Not a problem, love,' she says. 'But watch out with raccoons a little, will you? There's been enough heroics, I think. And make an appointment for the next shots before you leave. If you want to, you can ask for me.'
'We will,' Robin says gratefully, and she pulls Steve with her before he can dwell on the idea of a next appointment too much. 'Have I told you about the time I brought a snake into middle school?'