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“Scar, I think we’re soulmates, and you’re too busy chasing fairies!” Grian yells, and feels his stomach drop. His mouth is dry, and his head is swimming, and there’s a dull ache blooming in his back, in the same place he just saw Joel hit Scar. His mouth tastes faintly of blood.
Scar, of course, is oblivious. Grian watches him chase after his allay, grin in his face, absolutely no regard for his safety, and curses under his breath. Joel, standing next to him, cackles and elbows him.
“Well, it’s been nice knowing you, Grian,” he says, a terrible smirk on his face, and Grian shoves him into the water. Joel comes up spluttering and flips him the bird.
“It seems fitting,” Etho says next to him, and Grian side-eyes him. He crosses his arms across his chest, ignoring the way his heart flutters like an unruly bird trying to fly out of his chest. “Doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Grian says, and Etho raises his eyebrows at him from above his mask. “Oh, shut it. He hasn’t figured it out yet, in any case, so let’s just—keep it a secret for a bit, yeah?”
Joel and Etho share a knowing look, as Scar distantly yells something about his first love, climbing up the mountain like a maniac. Grian sighs, rubbing his palms over his face.
“I’m going to die,” he groans, and Joel snickers. This is going to be a long day.
“I found it,” Scar tells him five minutes later, breathlessly dragging himself into the boat and splashing water everywhere. The little blue thing is hovering around him, glittering sparkles falling around him like a halo. Scar grins up at him and shakes his hair like a wet dog. Grian’s heart does a somersault in his chest. “Man, I’m so hungry after all that.” He flops into his back inside of the boat, like an overgrown puppy.
Grian’s brain really needs to can it with the dog comparisons.
Grian bites the inside of his cheek and throws a salmon at him. It slaps against Scar’s cheek and he laughs.
“Thank you, Grian! That’s kind of you.” Grian bounces on his toes, unreasonably pleased, and crosses his arms again. Behind him his wings are fluttering, spreading upwards.
“I’ll be generous to you,” he says, honest and quiet like a prayer. Scar, distracted by the fish, doesn't pay him any mind.
Time passes, and Scar keeps being oblivious, and Grian starts questioning things.
“Ow,” he mumbles as Scar trips and lands on the ground instead of the water and Grian’s ankle twinges. “Didn’t feel like you nailed that one, Scar!”
“That was my bad!” Scar yells back, and for a moment Grian’s convinced he’s finally figured it out, but Scar doesn’t even look at him. How’s that even possible?
Maybe—but no.
Grian looks at Scar, happily babbling away at Jimmy, and swallows.
Scar wouldn’t do that, he thinks. Scar is many things—infuriating, clumsy, brilliant, unobservant. Clumsy, again. But he’s not mean. He’s not deliberately cruel. He’s not—he wouldn’t play with Grian’s— feelings is too strong of a word. But he would want Grian back, if he knew.
Right?
Bdubs’ face is grim to look at. Grian winces in sympathy as they say their hello’s, and then Bdubs’ gaze lands on the two of them, eyes sharp as he grins.
“Oh, could it be?” He says, and slings an arm around Scar’s shoulder, pulling him down. Scar clasps an arm back across his waist, smiling but looking slightly confused. “Is it true?”
“Is what true?” Scar asks, and a burst of fear spikes in Grian’s chest. He stumbles forward, pressing himself to Bdubs’ other side, and nudges him with an elbow.
“So I’ve been doing the rounds around the server, and the base construction is definitely… going.” Grian clicks his tongue towards Bdubs’ half-started walls.
Bdubs gasps in mock offense and nudges him back, letting go of Scar to gesture wildly at his base.
“It’s modern! You just don’t understand art,” he says, and Grian laughs despite himself, the sudden anxiety ebbing back into precarious calm.
“Yeah, Grian,” Scar says, materializing at Grian’s side out of nowhere, and leans his arm on Grian’s head like he’s some sort of armrest. Grian slaps his elbow away, face uncomfortably warm. “You just don’t get it like we do.”
“I’m sure I don’t,” Grian says, and smiles as Scar wanders inside, his little fairy twinkling around him. When he looks to the side Bdubs is staring at him with intense, knowing eyes.
“You and Scar, huh,” he says, and Grian wants to bristle at the tone. “That makes sense. I would’ve been surprised if it was anyone else, really!” Bdubs winks at him.
Something warm bubbles up in Grian’s stomach, and he can feel his face flush, to his embarrassment. There is something tugging at his chest, like his heart is being pulled out of his throat as Scar gets further away.
“Everyone keeps saying that,” Grian says, and Bdubs waggles his eyebrows. “He’s not—I don’t think he knows yet, anyway. Either that or—or he’s playing the world’s longest con.”
“You know how Scar is,” Bdubs tells him, bouncing back on his toes as they watch Scar almost get exploded by a creeper. Grian drags a hand across his face as Bdubs laughs. “I was gonna say that he’ll figure it out soon, but maybe it’ll be like Tango and Jimmy.”
“God, please no,” Grian groans, and Bdubs laughs harder. “If he gets me killed without even knowing we’re—bonded, I’m going to strangle him.”
“Guys, there’s a lot of zombies here,” Scar yells, and Grian sighs. The night is still young.
"You're not, uh," Grian starts, and Scar looks at him from where he's chopping down trees. "You're not curious at all about who your soulmate is, then?"
Scar taps the axe he's holding against his palm and hmm s.
"Not really," he says, and he puts the axe away to lean down and grab Jellie, who has been twirling around his legs the whole time. "Who needs a soulmate when you have Jellie?" He's holding her like a baby, and she's purring like a motor boat. Grian looks at Scar's soft, loving expression and bites his tongue so hard he draws blood. He wants Scar to look at him like that, he thinks, and then he winces.
“Right,” he says, turning around so that Scar won’t see his face, and he clears his throat. “I mean, there’s someone out there waiting to find you, though. Presumably.”
Scar makes a little sound of confusion behind him, and Grian grips his axe harder. “I guess. They don’t seem to be looking very hard, though. Maybe they have their own Jellie already, too,” he says, and then starts cooing at his cat again, a slew of nonsensical baby noises. Grian looks down at his hands, white-knuckled, and shakes his head.
“Maybe,” he says, and he’s proud that his voice doesn’t waver.
“How,” Joel says, and swings wildly at a skeleton, “does he not know? Grian, it’s been days.”
“I know!” Grian huffs, throwing his hands in the air, and then stumbles back as an arrow embeds in his shield. “I mean, it’s—he's seen the two of us take simultaneous damage! Several times! I’ve asked him if he knows who his soulmate is! I’m—Scar is oblivious, but not that much.”
“There’s no way he doesn’t know,” Etho says, body-slamming another skeleton and making it look effortless.
“Well, the other option is—” Grian cuts down a zombie and clears his throat. That he knows and doesn’t want to mention it, he doesn’t say, and swallows instead. Joel and Etho give him a look, and then glance at each other. There’s something knowing in their eyes that Grian doesn’t like at all. “He’ll get there,” he says, and tries to believe it himself.
And yet: a cold certainty settles in him as Scar grins down at him from his platform above, as Scar gets shot at the same time sharp pain blooms across Grian’s back. Scar doesn’t blink once as Grian winces and grabs at his own shoulder, and he doesn’t look surprised even as he helps Grian get up from the floor. How long has he known, Grian wonders, and resists the urge to push Scar down from the platform and make him face it, even if it leads to Grian’s death as well.
Then anger starts to creep in. It’s one thing that Scar doesn’t want him, Grian fumes. That’s fine. Grian can’t make Scar want to be bound to him. But at least—at the very least Grian deserves an honest refusal. Not this five-year-old’s game of chicken. Grian deserves to be seen.
“Do you know who your soulmate is yet?” Bdubs asks Scar, and Grian’s blood runs cold. He watches the two of them, frozen at the spot, as Bdubs nudges Scar and turns in a split second to give a thumbs up to Grian. Grian hates his friends.
Scar doesn’t even flinch, or glance back at Grian. He just shrugs, absentmindedly petting Jellie where she’s perched on his shoulders.
“No, but did you know I had the worst idea, Bdubs—”
And he just changes the topic, like Grian isn’t standing right there, being actively ignored.
“He says he doesn’t care about soulmates,” he tells Bdubs a moment later, with Scar out of earshot. “Scar, that is.” His voice comes out perfectly casual, in Grian’s opinion, but Bdubs’ face tells him otherwise.
“Uhuh,” Bdubs says. “And you’ve told him it’s you?”
Grian clears his throat. “Well, no, but he clearly knows.”
“Right,” Bdubs draws out, and Grian glares at him. Bdubs giggles. “Sorry, Grian, it’s just—from an outside perspective, this is funnier than you would think.”
“Well, I’m glad someone’s having fun,” Grian grumbles. “I’m not going to get to have much of that, at this rate.”
No matter what Bdubs might say, Scar knows, and he seems intent on actively avoiding Grian.
“Scar,” he calls out, despite everything in him knowing better. “You’re welcome to join me if you want to.” Hope flares in his chest for a small moment, because maybe Scar doesn’t want him like this, but they’re still friends, right? Despite everything they’ve done to each other in the past, good and bad.
And then, “I think I might go and build a base with the Jellies,” Scar says, and Grian's face burns in embarrassment. He clears his throat and crosses his arms. Are you that desperate to get away from me, he wants to scream.
“I have something to tell you,” he whispers instead, as he watches Scar’s back disappear through the bushes. “I had something to tell you!” He’s left there alone, standing between his half-planted wheat.
Grian is done. If Scar wants to wander around alone during the whole time they’re here—fine. That’s his prerogative. But he’s going to have to look Grian in the eyes and tell him.
"No, Scar, look at me," Grian snaps, and steps forward to grab Scar’s face and pull it down towards him. Scar blinks at him in surprise. "Look directly at me, okay?" See me, see me, crows something in his chest.
"I'm looking, I’m looking," Scar says, almost breathless, and then the stalactite drops and he winces at the same time as Grian, who lets go of his cheeks and rubs his head. Not fun to do that twice in a row. There’s a long beat of silence, and then: "Oh my God," Scar whispers, looking at Grian, and he swallows.
"Yeah," he croaks out. Scar is staring at him wide-eyed, blood slowly dripping down his forehead. Grian isn't sure he's even breathing.
“I—” Scar starts speaking, and all of a sudden Grian can’t hear whatever excuses he is about to spin.
“Look, you don’t want to be soulmates with me, fine, but I need you to at least acknowledge it, and promise me you won’t get us both killed by jumping off some cliff—” Scar starts wildly waving his arms around, and Grian falls quiet, raising his eyebrows at him. His heart is at the base of his throat, buzzing like a hummingbird.
“I’m sorry, what?” Scar is still looking at him with that confused face, and Grian clenches his teeth.
“Look, Scar, I’m not stupid,” he grits out, stomping closer to Scar until they’re almost nose-to-nose. He can feel his wings flaring out behind his back. “If you don’t want me then—then fine, that’s your choice, but I’m not letting you just—avoid the truth! And act like you don’t even know, right at my face!” Grian closes his mouth with a click, breathless. His hands are sweaty and there’s an ache in his chest, hollowing out the space behind his ribs. Scar is still looking at him with those impossibly green eyes.
“Grian,” Scar says, slowly, and tilts his head. “You’re telling me—let me know if I’m getting this wrong—that we’re soulmates, and you’ve known this whole time? And you didn’t tell me?”
“You can only play dumb so much, Scar,” Grian snaps, and Scar frowns at him. Grian glares back. The gall to act like Grian is the one who is—who is—
“Grian,” Scar says again, and his voice has taken on a softer tone this time, something low and calming that sneaks in between Grian’s bones and makes a home in his gut. He swallows. “I really, really didn’t know.”
Grian stares at him.
“No, you did,” he says, and Scar sputters. “No, you did! Scar, I told you, literally the first moment I saw you! You saw me get hurt at the same time you got shot! I asked you to base together! I—just stop playing dumb with me,” he says, and rubs the underside of his eyes. He’s exhausted.
Scar, in front of him, is pacing in circles, mumbling something underneath his breath.
“So when you gave me all that food, and made sure I didn’t die to the pillagers—” Grian throws his hands in the air, exasperated, and Scar laughs, disbelieving. Grian flinches and looks away. “Oh, no, I didn’t—” Scar makes a series of incomprehensible noises, sounding mildly distressed. “Grian. Look at me.” Grian keeps his gaze firm on the bamboo around them, stubborn, and he hears Scar sigh again. And then—
There’s warm hands cradling his cheeks and Grian blinks, forgetting what he’s doing for a moment as Scar turns his face forward. He’s looking at Grian with the most serious expression he’s seen in Scar’s face a while, eyes intense and fixed in him. Grian bites back a shiver.
“Grian, you have to believe me. This is complete news to me.” He looks so sincere. Grian falters.
“You’re bluffing,” Grian mumbles, and Scar sighs, so close that Grian can feel his warm breath. “You—you said you didn’t care about finding your soulmate,” he says, almost desperately, and Scar huffs.
“Yes, because I didn’t know it was you!” Grian’s breath stutters and he clenches his jaw. Scar’s eyes take on a determined look then, and Grian tenses, because that’s never good. Scar doesn’t let go of his face, though, instead shifting his hands so that they’re resting lower across Grian’s jaw, and then—
Then he’s kissing Grian, lips warm and soft against his.
Something in Grian’s brain bluescreens and reboots, and he stands there, frozen, until Scar makes a small sound against his mouth and starts to pull back. Grian reaches up, cradles the side of Scar’s face and kisses him, with so much intensity Scar stumbles back.
It’s electric. The few touches they’ve shared until now have been fleeting, barely sparks of contact, but now Scar has his hands all over him, rubbing slow circles over his jaw and brushing a thumb across his neck. Grian can feel Scar smiling against his mouth as he kisses him. When he nips at Scar’s lower lip, gently, the pressure echoes in his own mouth, and he gasps.
“So,” Scar pants, flushed and disheveled, smiling tentatively at Grian, “will you believe that I want you now?” Grian, almost dizzy, squints at him before hitting him in the arm. “Ow! What was that for?”
“For making me act like an idiot, and for being incapable of listening to me when I talk to you,” he says. Scar pouts, and Grian sticks a hand in his face. “No, you’re not pulling that with me.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Scar laughs, and then laces Grian’s hand with his own and presses a kiss to his wrist. Grian looks at their pinkies pressed together and his breath hitches. “I really didn’t mean to,” Scar says, serious again. His thumb is rubbing circles on Grian’s hand. “I’m sorry I made it harder than it had to be. I would never willfully ignore you like that, G,” he says, eyes all soft and warm and looking directly at him, and Grian has to kiss him again, pressing him back against the trunk of the tree. Scar laughs into the kiss and slides his hands to Grian’s hips, holding him steady.
“Maybe I jumped to some conclusions,” Grian murmurs after they pull back, breathless. “That just means I give you too much credit, I guess.”
“Hey,” Scar says, offended, and Grian stares at him, eyebrows raised. “Okay, okay, that’s fair. This once.”
“This once,” Grian repeats, doubtful, and laughs as Scar kisses his nose.
“I’m not surprised it’s you,” Scar tells him as Grian drags him back to their (their, their) base, hands linked together. “I mean, I was surprised, but—of course it’s you,” he smiles, and he’s so radiant Grian can barely look at him.
“You’re just trying to make up for the fact you ghosted me for five whole days,” he says, and laughs at Scar’s offended shout.
“Well, I stayed alive for the whole time!”
“And I am proud of you,” Grian says, and Scar visibly preens, swinging their entwined hands around. “Don’t worry, I’ll look out for you. You’re not dying on my watch.”
Not this time, he thinks.