Work Text:
Saturday nights were spent with Deku. After their fight at Ground Beta, it became a regular, unspoken thing. Katsuki’s pretty sure he’s never felt this happy. Hell, he even started looking forward to their little meetups like he was a fucking brat again and Deku’s company was a goddam holiday. It was sappy and gross and a little raw and so fucking fantastic that it would take an army of Nomu before Katsuki released the hard-won moments from his grip.
It started when Deku knocked on his door to ask for help with a particularly difficult problem Aizawa had assigned during their house arrest. Katsuki wasn’t dumb enough to think Deku actually needed help, but he let him in anyways and walked through the explanation with more patience than he’d ever shown the other boy, surprising himself with how easy it was. Deku paid close attention to every word and Katsuki promptly kicked him out afterwards.
Stupid Deku and the way his big ass smile makes me feel all soft and shit. he thought. I am not soft!
The next Saturday, and one very aggressive invitation later, they spent the evening sparring per Katsuki’s request. Genuinely trying to improve each other instead of beating their emotions into dense concrete and denser skulls.
He’s not really sure when their Saturday activities strayed from these simple interactions and into friend territory. It was gradual. A hand on a shoulder here, a lingering smile and help with some homework there. They were friends. Katsuki’s not really sure when that word lost its bitter edge, either. Then the simple gestures started to mean more. Only a month had passed but it was like their fight at Ground Beta had torn the floodgates wide open and every lingering affection they held from childhood, compounded by their teenage admiration, was rushing out in torrential waves that neither could hope to stop. Their eyes would search for the other after every victory in training and, without fail, they would already be looking right back. It was a miracle they even had personal victories considering how often their eyes tended to drift. In team drills it was even worse. Katsuki had always been aware of Deku, but now that he was actually seeing him, it was child’s play to adjust and start working together. It became instinctual for them to cover the other’s weaknesses, as much as Katsuki was loath to admit he had any in the first place, and it brought them both to staggering new heights. Being paired up against Deku and Lord Explosion Murder God Dynamight was a death sentence, as far as Katsuki was concerned.
And for the first time in a while, the unabashed shout of ’Kacchan’s amazing!’ echoing across the field left him feeling warm inside instead of dragging up insecurity and irritation. Katsuki let himself smile.
Caught up in the riptide, Katsuki let himself think too. No one brought out his best like the nerd. No one else could challenge him and praise him and beat him all in the same move and leave Katsuki smiling. No one else made his heart race off of the battlefield. Katsuki was seriously worried that his sweating palms were gonna become a problem if Deku kept leaning on him during class movie nights.
Katsuki knew he was thoroughly fucked, though, when a particularly impressive villian attack had knocked him to his feet and he took Deku’s outstretched hand without a second thought. Katsuki’s pretty sure he’d be dreaming of that moment for the rest of his life. Deku’s face was streaked with sweat and grime but his smile stretched so wide that his eyes crinkled around the edges. His irises, glowing vibrantly alongside One-for-All, fought his smile for dominance on his face but it was his freckles that took up Katsuki’s whole view. He wanted to count them and trace the constellations he’s positive they form. He wanted to be the reason they disappear under a pretty pink blush- one caused from affection and embarrassment instead of the exertion of a hard fought battle- but despite the fight still raging around them and the gloves preventing their hands from really touching, Katsuki was exhilarated. Breathless.
So fucking whipped he’d put Kaminari to shame.
Really, it was only a matter of time before friend gained a new, gut-wrenchingly bitter edge, because that’s all Deku could be to him. A friend. And in his more emotive moments, a dream.
Even though he decided it’d be selfish to pursue Deku, he had given up on keeping the nerd at arm’s length, so here he was on another Saturday, sitting in the middle of his dorm room in matching All Might pajamas with Deku- silver age, of course- and positively beaming at the boy beside him as they settled in to watch the newest Mirko documentary. Katsuki felt like Christmas had come fucking early. So what if this is all they ever were? He thought ‘friend’ was a pretty good place to be, all things considered.
So, of course everything had to go to shit.
“Hey bro, sorry to barge in but do you have…” Kirishima froze, hand still on the doorknob and one traitorous foot in Katsuki’s room. Shitty Hair knew not to disturb him on Saturday nights.
Katsuki could tell that Deku had tensed up beside him because their shoulders and sides and legs had absolutely zero room between them and Shitty Hair was still standing there with his mouth hanging open and Katsuki wanted to rip out every stupid shark tooth he could see. Despite his growing rage, he knew the heat on his face was due to pure embarrassment. Nobody had actually said anything yet, just stared at each other like idiots and Katsuki was sick of it. He was perfectly fucking aware of how intimate and out of character the situation seemed and oh god he was never gonna hear the end of this from the idiot squad.
He leveled Kirishima with the meanest glare he could muster while blushing and growled out, low and menacing, “Shitty Hair you are so goddamn lucky you are still in one piece right now. Now get the hell out of my room if you want it to stay that way!”
Dumbass didn’t even flinch. He let a slow smile take over his face as his gaze slid between Katsuki and Deku and back.
“Okay let me ask one question and I’ll get out of your hair, promise!”
Katsuki frowned. There was danger in addressing anything about the specifics of his and Deku’s relationship…but Katsuki knew an opportunity when he saw one.
“Not a word to anyone else,” he grumbled, “and I’ll answer one question.”
Kirishima’s eyes widened, like he didn’t actually expect Katsuki to agree, and he floundered for a moment, opening and closing his mouth a few times before settling on, “So is this part of your softer side or is it a Midobro exclusive?”
God fucking dammit, he thought. Best friend my ass!
Katsuki hoped his eyes conveyed his outrage at this complete fucking betrayal but after a tense moment with no signs of regret from the boy in the open fucking doorway he relented. Sneering, Katsuki spat out a terse, “Exclusive.” and raised a palm in warning, “Out.”
He breathed a sigh of relief as Shitty Hair complied (with a smirk, what an asshole) and promptly stopped breathing when he realized he would now have to face Deku. The weight of his admission hung heavy on Katsuki’s chest.
Please don’t read too much into that, nerd. he thought. Please don’t leave.
“Ex-exclusive?” Deku finally wheezed. “You know,” his tone grew soft, careful, “if this is your way of trying to atone or something I’ve already forgiven you Kacchan. Like, a long time ago so you don’t have to… humor me.”
Katsuki’s chest squeezed tighter with every word and he finally turned to look at Deku- shoulders hunched, eyes downcast, scarred hands anxiously wrung together. He was so beautiful and so powerful and so so wrong.
“Oi! Don’t be a dumbass. I-” Katsuki breathed out a long sigh and ran a hand through his hair, choosing to watch their dim reflections in the laptop on their still-touching thighs instead of the freckled face in front of him. He didn’t think he could look directly at Deku for this next part. “This isn’t that.” he said, “I was shitty when we were kids and I’m still working to be better, don’t get me wrong, but,” he licked his lips. Was it always this hot in his room? “I’m not humoring you so get that shit out of your head. I’m doing this cause I fucking want to. I like spending time with you, nerd. Especially when we do stuff like this. So no, I wouldn’t do this with anyone else but that’s because I don’t feel about them the way I feel about you.”
He could tell that Deku had turned to look at him but the shitty screen was too muddled to make out any facial expressions. Fucking laptop, he thought, what are you even good for?
“But if you don’t feel guilty, then how do you feel?” They were close enough that Deku’s breath ghosted against Katsuki’s cheek when he spoke.
He’s gonna make me fucking say it.
He swallowed, allowing himself one last glimpse of Deku: Katsuki’s friend, before he inevitably turns into Deku: Katsuki’s karmic heartbreak.
Hell, maybe I fucking deserve it.
Those bright green eyes that had followed him around their entire lives were leveled on Katsuki’s throat.
But he deserves to hear it. At least once.
“I feel like you’re the most amazing person I know.”
Green eyes snapped up towards red and they were so filled with shock and joy that Katsuki felt himself bubbling over with the sheer intensity of his feelings.
Fuck the consequences.
“I feel like you deserve happiness more than anyone else I know and that your smile’s brighter than the goddamn sun. I feel like you were born to be a hero and all the rest of us are extras in your wake, thankful to have met you.” Katsuki screwed his eyes shut, fighting against the growing lump in his throat, “You’re part of me, Deku. All the best parts. And even if you’ll never be mine, you’ve camped out in my shitty heart for so long that I’m pretty sure I’ll always be yours, however you’ll have me.”
Katsuki wished he wasn’t aware of the tears spilling from his closed eyes but then Deku was hugging him. Holding him close and shoving his own tear-stained face in Katsuki’s collarbone and Katsuki was squeezing him back and pressing his nose into those messy curls like they held all the secrets of the universe. Maybe they held all the secrets that mattered to Katsuki. Nuzzling even deeper, he pressed a chaste kiss to Deku’s forehead.
“I don’t ever want to lose you.” he whispered.
Deku squeezed him again, laptop long forgotten as they fought to be impossibly closer.
“You won’t ever have to.”
A calloused hand snaked itself into Katsuki’s hair and a soft kiss was pressed to the underside of his jaw.
“I love you Kacchan. So much.” His lips brushed their way up to Katsuki’s cheek. “You’re just as much a part of me as I am of you.” Deku’s hand combed gently through blonde locks, brushing past his ear and cradling the other side of his face, bringing them nose to nose. “I am so proud of the person you’ve become Katsuki. You’re,” he paused to sniffle, smiling, “you’re everything to me. My closest friend, my strongest ally, my symbol of victory…” he pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of Katsuki’s open mouth.
There’s no way this is real…right?
Deku kept going. “You inspire me Kacchan. To keep fighting. To keep getting better, every day.”
Katsuki chuckled softly, shaken from his momentary shock. They were barely whispering at this point, just breathing into each other’s space.
“You’re the one who makes me better, love.”
Katsuki could pinpoint the second his pet name registered because Deku positively melted under his hands. Katsuki’s pretty sure he’s just found his new life’s purpose.
“Please just shut up and kiss me Kacchan.”
They were both red and clumsy as they closed the distance, bumping teeth and noses and breathing way too hard but they both would have described it as nothing short of perfect. Soft and loving and attempting to convey the whole universe of emotions held between them. The doubt, the trust, the insecurity, and the safety they’ve always found in themselves and each other.
It was everything. They were everything. Two halves of the same devastatingly magnetic coin.
They parted with a soft smack and blinding grins.
“And I love every one of your shitty freckles.”
Their laughter echoed loud enough for Kirishima to hear it from next door.