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It’s a Tuesday night movie night where Dean intently watches whatever is on the screen, Sam does research for Claire’s next case, and Cas does whatever he does on his phone. Typically, they all stay in their allotted lanes and Dean doesn’t have to think too hard about how badly he wishes Sam would use the library and Cas would sit just a few feet closer.
Preferably on top of him.
Turns out punching god and pulling your best friend from The Empty puts things in perspective enough to pine but not to actually do anything about it.
Sure, Dean has defeated hundreds of vampires and shapeshifters and demons, stopped the apocalypse more than once, and even been to purgatory, heaven, and hell, but telling Cas he’d like to hold hands feels a lot more scary.
The credits scroll and no one moves. Dean’s just staring at the approximately three foot gap between him and his best friend, Sam is entrenched in his work, and Cas is texting some—Dean grabs his phone as the duck call text tone Sam put there as a joke goes off.
So he never figured out how to fix it, who cares? Shut up.
He unlocks the screen to see there’s a new text from Cas and takes a swig from his beer. This happens from time to time—an article Cas wants to share or a funny meme he saw making its way into Dean’s inbox. He thumbs over to the unread message and chokes, “Cas, what the fuck is this?”
Sam looks up from his spell book and ping-pongs between an increasingly red Dean and an utterly smug-as-fuck Cas. “It’s a proposition, Dean.”
Before Dean can respond, Sam is at his side and then on the floor in a fit of hysterics that is so earning him Nair in his shampoo bottle. “Sammy, grow the fuck up.” Dean points at his brother before turning to Cas, “And you—do you know what this—what you’re—what Spongebob—“
Dean can’t get a coherent thought out as he looks back at the meme on his screen. It’s a picture of a large indoor pool plastered with Spongebob’s face along the side and the whole frickin cast of characters painted on the walls surrounding it. That’d be jarring enough on its own if it weren’t for the large block letters gracing the top of the quite frankly “cursed image”—as Claire would say—no, the Spongebob Horror Show isn’t enough to set Sam off like a sasquatch on laughing gas. But the call to action? Now that’ll do it. The letters seer themselves into Dean’s brain as he reads them over and over again while Cas waits patiently for him to come back online.
fuck me here coward
What the fuck?
“Cas—you can’t possibly want to fuck someone in a Spongebob pool?”
Cas’ head tilts and it’s adorable and sends blood rushing about seventy different places that aren’t supposed to have an excess of blood and oh god is Dean getting turned on by the thought of fucking Cas in a Nickelodeon hellscape? “The place is not of import, Dean.”
Oh—not of import, right, ok… cool.
“Although I do know your affinity for children’s cartoons so I would understand if this would be appealing to you.”
Dean balks.
Sam chokes out another loud fit of laughter and Dean throws a pillow at him before shooting a killer bitchface that screams “get the fuck out”. His brother gets the message—tucking tail and holding back a laugh as he scampers toward the library.
Turning back toward Cas—whose head will probably get stuck there if it stays at that tilt much longer—Dean rubs his hands over his face and decides to nut up.
If Cas can send terrifying Spongebob memes to try and get in his pants, Dean can close the three foot chasm between them. So he does. Taking Cas’ chin in his fingers and fixing his head tilt so it doesn’t actually get stuck there and watching the way Cas’ eyes fill with wonderment and hope—it all makes his gut swirl. He drops his hand, nervous to have overstepped, but Cas catches it and laces their fingers together and it gives Dean a surge of confidence. “We—uh—could skip the kiddie pool and just do the first part.”
Cas’ eyes blow wide, “You—“
“Yeah, Cas. Kinda been holding it in for the better part of a decade.” Dean isn’t sure where honesty hour is coming from and he refuses to thank the guy who lives in a pineapple under the sea. “But, uh, I don’t want to be a coward anymore so I also want to do other stuff—like—uh—hold hands and take you to movies and—“
Dean’s cut off by a long-overdue kiss and he practically melts at the relief of it all. He’s wanted this for so long he can feel himself cataloging every detail as Cas’ lips explore his. They have time—all the time in the world now that they’re retired and spending their days using the Bunker as a safe house—but the kiss is frantic anyway, making up for lost time perhaps.
It turns heated quickly and it isn’t until they’re both wrapped up in Dean’s sheets, sated and happy that Dean realizes none of this would’ve been happening without a damn Spongebob meme. Cas is laying soft kisses down Dean’s neck where he’s nested himself for the night—because they can just do this now—and Dean decides nows the time to get their stories straight, “Hey, uh, sweetheart?”
“Mmm?” Cas just hums. The sound vibrating through Dean’s collarbone where Cas’ head has decided to rest.
“If anyone asks, let’s skip the Spongebob meme part of the story, yeah? Let’s pretend we got our heads out of our asses without any help from Bikini Bottom’s finest.”
Cas picks his head up to look at Dean, “I assure you my head was never ‘in my ass’ when it came to my feelings for you, Dean. It’s not my fault you needed a meme that Eileen—of all people—sent me to recover your head from yours.”
“Eileen—she— what?” He’s going to put Nair in Sam’s shampoo and green hair dye in the bottle Eileen keeps here. Those two he swears to—
“I’m quite happy with the outcome no matter the way it happened, Dean.” Cas’ content lilt to his voice is enough to take the wind out of his sails.
Dean decides to let it go, Nair and hair dye saved for less lucrative meddling that he is sure they’ll participate in down the road. But still… “Cas—“
“I won’t tell anyone about Spongebob, Dean.” The angel sighs, cuddling deeper and feigning sleep Dean knows Cas doesn’t actually need in an effort to shut him up.
And the next day, if Dean uses Charlie’s limitless credit card and books a trip to Nickelodeon’s hotel in the Spongebob suite just because , well that’s their business.