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i.
"Steve!" Robin's practically reaching halfway across the table for his car keys, eyes wide. "Please."
"Forget it." He rolls his eyes, swatting at her hand with a shirt. "We're volunteering, Robin. What, you wanna up and leave on 'em?" Seriously, no way."
"But I need to speak to Nancy." Robin deflates, falling face first onto the table.
Steve's attention shifts slowly to Vickie, who's peering curiously at Robin's back. She's smearing too much peanut butter on a sandwich, and seconds later, Steve's spotting a smidge of that same peanut butter in Robin's hair.
He brushes it off, nose crinkled.
"What about Vickie? I thought you guys were, you know… hitting it off and stuff. She looked pretty into it."
Robin mumbles into the table, words completely muffled.
Steve stares, flicking his finger into her hair. "Earth to Robin, I can't hear you like that, numbnuts."
Robin lifts her face, and her lips are curled into a pressing frown, her eyebrows drawn together. "I told you already. I need to speak to Nancy, urgently. Right this second, urgently. Are you going to drive me or not?"
Steve's watching Vickie lazily spread peanut butter on a sandwich when it happens.
The ground feels like it's tearing apart from under them, splitting through and through again. Steve immediately reaches to steady Robin, her own fingers gripping the edge of the table.
What the hell was that?
"Are you okay?"
Robin nods, panic stealing her breath. Steve's hand retreats.
People become a sea, gathering in one singular crowd by the window, and Steve's pushing past it in front of Robin, waving a hand back at her.
Outside, the world ends. All at once.
Steve looks at her, questions he can't answer swimming within his eyes. He knows they failed; somehow, after all they did, this is their fault.
"Where are Nancy and the others?" she asks, reaching for him. "Can we get to them in time? Steve? Hey, can we get to Nancy—"
ii.
It's like living in a memory, awareness coming in sudden flashes. Deja vu that she knows she's lived before. Nancy's hand is warm in hers again, their feet paused at the familiar threshold of the Creel House. Robin's been here; she's stood in this same spot, her hand holding Nancy's and her eyes holding hers, too.
Her focus is torn between Nancy inquisitively watching her and her own stomach doing aggressive backflips. She's a few seconds away from dropping Nancy's hand and pinching every inch of herself to make sure she's not dreaming. And if she is, Nancy holding onto her is enough to anchor her in it.
Robin squeezes her eyes shut. "Okay, I'm fine," she murmurs. "It's fine. This is not a mammoth mess. You are totally fine."
Her eyes flicker open. Still here.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
Not fine. Still here. Not fine. Definitely so not fine.
"Robin?" Nancy murmurs. Her eyes blink up at her, wide and soft. "There's no shame in letting me and Steve go first, if you're scared." She offers her a smile. "Are you? Scared, I mean."
Robin's heart is skipping beats. She can't do this again. She can't watch Nancy almost die like she did last time; the memory of her tangled against the wall in vines is enough to scare Robin almost out of her skin.
She takes a deep breath to steady herself, keeping her voice as level as possible. "I— I thought you might be scared. Are you?"
"Between the two of us, I've done this thing before. Piece of cake." She softens her elbow into Robin's side. "Besides, we've handled worse. And, well… fake it 'til you make it. And I know that's a lot easier said than done, but it's worth a try. Right?"
"Yeah, right." A smirk lifts one corner of her mouth; she swallows her dread. "Last one up the stairs buys the other ice cream?"
"Oh, you are on, Buckley."
Their eyes meet and they step inside, falling in tandem.
Nancy doesn't drop her hand.
Moments later, Robin's nightmare comes back. Her mouth is poised open in a scream, the vines wrapping tight around her waist and pulling her back, Nancy's hand tugging in hers. This is the worst day of her life and somehow she's back, somehow she's living it again.
This time, she has to do it right. She can't save Eddie or Max, but she can make sure the rest of them get out alive.
She's midway through promising herself she'll take care of Nancy when a vine grips around her throat. Her head is thrown back, her breath shaky on its way out.
Steve calls out to her.
"Robin!" Nancy is shouting, curling her fingers tighter around her hand. Her free hand is reaching for the pocket knife strapped on her belt, casting a look back at Steve. "What the hell are these?"
"I don't know. Can you get her out?"
Robin blinks away her tears. Each inhale brings her closer to the memory of Nancy pressed to the wall by these same vines, her last good breath used to call out to her.
"Get out of here, Nance, go! Please, you've gotta get out of here."
"Shut up, we're not leaving you. Stay still."
Nancy saws at the vine restraining Robin's hand in hers. In one, slow blink, it's wrapping around Nancy, dancing around her, and she's gasping Robin's name as it pulls her forward. Its grip is too tight and her knife clatters towards her feet, her hand wrenched from Robin's to try to tug it off.
Robin thrashes, eyes worryingly caught on Steve plastered on the wall across from her and Nancy joining her side.
"It's alright." Nancy's saying as her head is forced back. "We'll get out of here."
Robin thinks she might be talking to Steve, but she manages to turn her head. And there's Nancy, staring right at her.
"I promise," Nancy rasps.
The next day the world ends the same as it did before. Nothing changes. Only this time, Robin has learned a half a dozen new names and shaken the hand of the man lucky enough to call Nancy his.
This time, she's standing in an open field by Nancy's side, the back of their hands brushing. This time, she's with Nancy, and it isn't enough.
The loop resets.
iii.
At first, this loop feels more like a dream than a nightmare.
Robin comes to holding hands with Nancy. They're standing closer than she remembers from the past two times, their hands tangled tighter.
"It's okay," Robin tells herself, chest lifting with too large an inhale "We're fine. Everything's completely cool."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Robin fakes a smile. "Yup. Totally. This is so exactly what I expected to happen and I'm handling it so, so well, right? Except I'm not. This is… holy shit, Nance. I can't do this again, being completely serious, just between the two of us. I absolutely, completely can't. This is insane."
"—Again?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, am I the only one stuck reliving two whole days over and over? Because it's miserable, I'm so exhausted. I, personally, cannot wait for this day to be so I can do it all over again. Doesn't that sound fun? And as if to make matters worse, it only seems to be happening to. Me. Unless literally anyone else is willing to admit they're an unfortunate victim of this time circumstance, too. But since they haven't, I'm assuming it's literally only me. Which, holy shit, it sucks, by the way."
Nancy stills. "I remember."
"You do?"
"Yeah, I do." Nancy's eyebrows furrow, her grip on Robin tightening. "Those… vine things, right?"
Robin stares. "You do remember."
Nancy shakes off her nerves and looks at her, face tilted towards her. There's hardly a breath of space between them and Nancy's breath ghosts across Robin's face, her focus entirely on the subtle part of Robin's lips. As if given permission, Robin's own eyes fall to Nancy's mouth and the slight gloss of her makeup.
Neither of them speaks for a moment.
"You think it's him? Vecna? One?"
"Maybe, but I don't understand…" Nancy's lips curve into a frown. "What's something only the real Robin would know? A secret or a memory, so I know that… that this isn't in my head."
Robin's chest constricts. Her eyes still follow the gentle shape of Nancy's mouth. "I told Steve you were a priss. Last year, in Starcourt Mall. We'd been drugged by those Russians and escaped, except I couldn't really tell you how, honestly, it's all a bit of a fever dream. I asked about you, I think. Or Steve mentioned it. I don't know. But I said it, you know. 'Nancy Wheeler is such a priss,' and now I regret it because you're kinda cool. Really cool, actually."
Nancy glances away, fighting a smile. "A priss? Me?"
"Oh c'mon. You're pretty and rich and you were dating Steve Harrington. Of course I thought you were a priss."
Nancy's cheeks are dusted pink when she looks back at Robin. The slight distance between them feels infinitesimal. "What about now? Do you still think that? That I'm a priss, or… whatever?"
A nervous laugh bubbles from Robin's throat and she's dropping her hand from Nancy's, tugging at the collar of her shirt. "Is the air in here hard to breathe or is it just me? I think I need some air. I'm gonna get some air, alright? Like, one second. That's how quick I'll be."
The next day, Nancy and Jonathan don't stand together when he introduces himself. His eyes are rimmed red and Nancy can hardly look Robin in the eye, even as they watch Hawkins tear apart. And seconds before they're thrown back in time, Nancy knocks her hand against Robin's.
Robin goes to take it, a second too late.
The loop resets.
iiii
They do everything the same. They wake in the doorway of Creel House holding hands, struggle against the vines, lose Max and Eddie— everything the same, barely a hair out of place. It hurts the same as it did the first three times, and Robin isn't sure she can do it again, if she had the choice.
"We're going to figure it out," Nancy says. They're sitting on the steps of Creel House; Steve is looking for Dustin. "There has got to be something, okay? Once we find out what that something is, we can stop this from happening."
"What if we don't?"
"Robin—"
Robin's hands are tangled in her hair, tugging exasperatedly. "No, I'm serious, Nance. I'm so tired of doing this again and again and again. Aren't you tired? I feel like I haven't slept in days, and I slept last night, which is technically tonight which technically didn't happen, I guess. I don't know. All this circumstantial time stuff is hurting my brain. I couldn't even do long division until I was thirteen. Last year I thought it was tubberware!"
Nancy leans into her, resting her hand on her shoulder. "Don't forget that a few days ago you thought Elvis might've been cloned by aliens."
"Was that a joke? Nancy Wheeler just told a joke." Robin sits up, fingers falling from her hair. "Got any more?"
"How about: two girls walk into Creel House. Then the same two girls walk into Creel House."
Robin laughs, an ear splitting, overly enthusiastic laugh. She's clutching a hand to her chest and the other finds Nancy, curling around her thigh. The intimacy of it is near overwhelming, like she's fallen into a sea of Nancy and forgotten to swim, like it's zero below and Nancy (and her smile, the one these past few days that has become her Robin smile) is the only warm thing for miles. Even if her hands are perpetually cold.
"Then the same two girls, then the same two girls." Robin's shaking her head and burying her face into Nancy's shoulder before she knows it, breathing in the lingering sweetness of her perfume.
"Out of everyone, I'm glad it's you with me, Nance. I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else." There's a lump in her throat she can't swallow. "And I'm really sorry if that's too honest or uncomfortable, I'm not really good at knowing what not to say."
"No, I know what you mean. It's fine," Nancy murmurs. "Robin?"
Robin hmms. "Yeah?"
"I'm glad it's me, too."
The next day, the world ends for the fourth time. Robin takes Nancy's side. Nancy takes Robin's hand.
The loop resets.
v.
This is the fourth loop that Robin's been in a random wooden cabin surrounded by mostly strangers. She feels bizarrely out of place without Steve to soften her rambling and energy into friendliness, and more so out of place without Nancy.
Nancy's been her constant the past four days, serving as her only anchor to a world she's forced to exist in again and again. She meant it, when she said she was glad it was Nancy and not someone else; Nancy, who held her on the steps of Creel House for hours the day before, who refused to let go of her hand that second loop and has continued to grip it tighter each time.
The same Nancy she was rushing to speak to; because she needed answers for why it was so easy to speak to her but so hard to speak to Vickie. She's never felt more herself than those hours alone standing just outside the shadow Nancy casts, and now she gets it, why so many people love her.
Nancy makes the brightest of people look little more than flares. Her smile, her touch, the shine of her eyes. She's the most beautiful woman Robin's ever seen.
"I thought I might find you here."
Robin doesn't turn to look at her. She's rolling a piece of bark between her fingers, humming some Madonna song under her breath. "Sorry. Didn't mean to take off."
"Take off? Robs, you're around the back of the house. I could've tripped out the front door and fallen on top of you."
Robin snorts, the kind her mother would try to scold out of her. Her mood crumbles entirely. What is it about Nancy that makes her comfortable enough to be herself?
"You seem upset," Nancy says. She sits down beside her, too close. Their sides are touching. "Is this about the inevitable loop we can't seem to figure out or that you missed lunch?"
Nancy's focus is so intently pressed to Robin's face that Robin finds herself shy. She tucks her chin against her chest and glances down, anywhere but at Nancy and anywhere but at her lips. They're so close, she could close the gap between their mouths in less than a second.
But she won't.
Nancy wouldn't want her to.
"I've been breaking up with Jonathan since the second loop. Every loop. I thought maybe it was why this kept going, because I was meant to. Then it kept going, so I was wrong, yet somehow breaking up with him seems right. Like, even if it doesn't stop the loop, it's what I'm supposed to do. You know?"
Robin plucks a piece of glass between two of her fingers, trying to keep her voice steady. Her heart is beating so loud she's worried Nancy can hear it. "I thought you wanted to stay with him? Between us girls."
"Between us girls, I thought I did. I also thought I knew time was a fixed point and couldn't repeat, but what do I know?"
Robin puts her weight against Nancy's side. Nancy pushes her weight back. The silence is deep enough to drown in.
"I think there's something we should try that might fix the loop. Something we haven't tried yet. It's not a guarantee or anything, I just feel like it might work. And if it doesn't, it could be worth a try anyway?"
"Nance, I'll try anything."
Nancy lays a hand on Robin's thigh. "Do you trust me? Could you keep your eyes closed, for a few seconds?"
"Uh, yeah. Whatever you say, you're in charge."
Robin's never been kissed before. It's warmer than she would've thought— even Nancy's cold hands are warm on her face and her neck, wherever they seem to be at the moment. She doesn't move at first, too afraid that it'll wash this away and it'll be little more than one of Vecna's cruel mirages.
"Is this okay?" Nancy murmurs. Her lips brush Robin's. "I don't know how you feel about… I can stop."
Robin catches one of Nancy's forearms, curling her fingers around it carefully. "Wheeler, if you stop kissing me, I think I'll die. Seriously. Please. I'll reset the loop myself."
This time, the world ends. Nothing changes. They gather in the clearing and Nancy doesn't hesitate to take Robin's hand. The two of them hardly breathe, afraid that if they make the slightest of movements the world will remember them, will remember they're not supposed to make it any further than this, and it'll send them back.
It doesn't.
The world ends. It takes five tries.
The loop does not reset.