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It's all James' fault. 

If it wasn't for him and his stupid Halloween party, Sirius wouldn't be walking to Tesco at 10am in the freezing cold to buy a pregnancy test.

In his defense, James hadn't been the one to force the numerous amount of drinks—except for the first two beers— down Remus and Sirius' throats. But, it had been James' party and his guest room that was not sufficiently supplied with condoms. And James had been the one to force Remus and Sirius to stay the night, rather than have them walk home.

Sirius has thrown up four mornings in a row before he started to catch on. It has been about five weeks since the party and Sirius very rarely throws up when he isn't sick or hungover, let alone four days in a row.

Sirius stands in front of the shelves with the tests for a few minutes, pointedly ignoring the look he's getting from other customers. He sighs as he grabs the cheapest one, thinking, This is all James' fault, as he does.

He almost makes it to the check out before turning around and grabbing another test. Sirius doesn't even make it out of the aisle this time before he turns around once more and takes one test from at least all the brands. 

While waiting in line, Sirius grabs a bar of chocolate—to calm Remus down if Sirius is right about this—and maybe himself—, Advil—for the headache he feels coming on—, and two bottles of Coke—for all the pregnancy tests he's about to take.

If the cashier even gave him a look about his purchases, Sirius wouldn't had seen it because he was very deliberately not looking her in the eye.

Sirius regrets his decision—once again— of not wearing a jacket as he steps out into the December air. He had left earlier that morning in a rush after a terrifying realization in nothing but Remus' sweater, his pajama pants, and dirty converse.

James Potter and his bloody Halloween party.

It's a false positive.

That's all it is. Nothing less, nothing more. Sirius should have been expecting this anyway. He had used the cheapest brand possible and pregnancy tests are known for showing lots of false positives. Right?

He is not panicking at all. 

Sirius is so not panicked that he doesn't practically rip the next box apart opening it. 

This one isn't cheap like the other one, so it will probably be true this time. 

And it's.... Positive.

Huh.

That's weird, two false positives in a row. 

Sirius takes another test.

...

Positive.

Okay, Sirius is starting to panic— just a little. He takes out the fourth, and final test, and takes it.

He tries not to lose his mind as the five minutes he's supposed to wait moves as slowly as possible.

Sirius nearly passes out as he turns the test over.

Positive.

So, he's either pregnant, or, he just happened to get really lucky—or unlucky— and bought four pregnancy tests that are all from different companies that all just happen to be defective.

Shit. 

He's pregnant.

The first thing Sirius does is research.

Well, that's a lie. The real first thing Sirius does, is sob. He's scared, okay? He only just turned 21, Remus is still 20, and they're not even married—or even discussed marriage for that matter— and he doesn't know if Remus even wants kids, AND of course he has to get pregnant the first time they have unprotected sex only because they were drunk of their asses. 

God, what if Remus leaves him? Or worse, what if Remus stays and they have the kid and everything is great until one day Remus realizes that he never wanted any of it and resents Sirius for the rest of their lives? What if Sirius gets rid of it and Remus hates him for it? What if—? What if—? What if—?

Sirius allows himself to cry, sitting on the edge of the tub, for 20 minutes before his sobs finally die down and he wipes his tears. The collar and sleeves of Remus' sweater are soaked from his tears, but Sirius doesn't notice, or care, as he stuffs the pregnancy tests into his pockets. 

He looks in the mirror and cringes at the snot running down his face and the redness of his eyes. Sirius washes his face, takes a deep breath, and leaves the bathroom.

Then, he sits down on their bed, pulling his laptop towards him, and he researches. 

Sirius looks up abortion clinics nearby, and adoption agencies, and baby stores. He discovers 'How to Tell Your Partner You're Pregnant', a website made solely for condemning women for getting abortions—which he very quickly closes—, and 'Are You Ready For a Baby?' He finds bookstores nearby with parenting books, chat forums for trans men who are pregnant, and blogs that are all about baby names. 

He does this for hours, only stopping when he's hungry or has to pee.

By the time Remus gets home, Sirius has—mostly— decided what he wants to do. He even planned out what he wants to say.

Sirius resists the urge to go into a full-blown panic as he hears Remus open the front door. He shuts his laptop and walks softly to the door. 

Remus glances up at Sirius as he walks in. "Hi, love." Remus looks back down to continue untying his boots.

"Hullo," Sirius says back softly. 

"How was your day?" Remus asks as he hangs up his coat, finally walking towards Sirius.

Sirius makes it about five seconds before he bursts into sobs. All his planning on what to say flies out the window as Remus wraps his arms around him, his warm hands slowly stroking up and down his back.

"What's wrong, Sirius? Did something happen?" Remus asks gently.

Sirius nods shakily against Remus' shoulder. 

"Okay, you're okay, do you want to tell me what happened? You don't have too; only if you're comfortable."

Sirius nods again.

"Whatever it is, I promise I won't be mad. Is that what this is about? You're scared to tell me something cause I'll be mad?"

Sirius pauses for a moment before nodding slightly. 

"I promise you, Sirius, that whatever it is, I won't be mad. And if I am you can... You can have all my chocolate for a month."

Sirius takes in a deep, shuddering breath. "That's it, love, just breath," Remus coaches.

"I— I'm— I'm—" Sirius says, unable to make himself finish saying it.

"You've got it," Remus gently encourages.

"I'm pregnant," Sirius finally whispers.

Everything goes quiet. All Sirius can hear—and feel— is the rapid beating of his heart and the rapid beating of Remus' heart against him.

Just before he finally loses it from the silence and pushes Remus away before Remus can push him away, Remus finally speaks: "You're pregnant."

"Yeah," Sirius says quietly and breathlessly. 

"You're pregnant," Remus says again, seemingly to himself; he said it so quietly Sirius almost missed it. "Do you know what you want to do?"

"I think— I want to keep it," Sirius admits, squeezing his eyes closed as he waits for Remus to leave him. 

Remus starts to pull away and Sirius wants to wrap his arms around him tight so he doesn't, but he doesn't want to come off as clingy so he lets Remus go.

Sirius finally opens his eyes as he feels Remus' hands settle on his face, his thumbs brushing over his cheeks. "Holy shit," Remus says.

"You don't have to stay if you don't wan—" Sirius gets cut off as Remus firmly, but gently, kisses him.

"You're pregnant." Remus picks him up and starts spinning them. "You're pregnant!"

"Rem! Put me down!" Sirius shrieks, even as he wraps his legs around Remus' torso and his arms around his neck. 

"I'm gonna be a dad?" Remus asks breathlessly. And, oh, God, Sirius can feel his body melting as he sees the look in Remus' eyes. 

"No, sorry, James will be though. You can be godfather, I guess. Only if James approves, of course."

Remus rolls his eyes even as he laughs. "Lucky him. I guess I don't have to be carrying you around, do I?" Remus lets Sirius drop, gently, to the floor.

"Oi! I am carrying your child! Can't be throwing me around like that!"

"I thought it was James'?" Remus asks, eyebrow raised. 

"Bugger off."

Sirius pulls one of the four pregnancy tests out of his pockets and holds it in between them for Remus to see. Remus gets that look in his eye again as he takes the test from him, he's got a stupid grin on his face that Sirius loves. "I love you, you know that? I really bloody love you."

"Oh, Rem," Sirius says, starting to tear up, "I love you too."

Later during dinner, Remus does not stop staring at the test laid out on the table, or at Sirius. After dinner Remus insists on putting away all the food and doing all the dishes himself while Sirius sits on the couch and finds something for them to watch. Then, after the show is over and Sirius is sleeping soundly on his chest, Remus picks him up and takes him to bed where they fall asleep happily.

The next morning, Sirius can feel a wave of nausea washing over him, ruining their peace. He snuggles closer to Remus' chest with a whine and hopes if he ignores it, it would go away.

It doesn't. 

Another wave hits him and he rushes to sit up. Sirius clamps a hand over his mouth as he rushes out of bed and to the bathroom. 

He falls to his knees in front of the toilet, gripping it tightly. Sirius dry heaves for a while, stubbornly refusing to throw up. 

Sirius startles as he feels hands on his hair; he hadn't even noticed Remus enter the bathroom. Remus ties his hair up for him and starts to rub his back in comfort.

He goes to thank Remus, but he ends up gagging again. 

"Sirius, you gotta throw up. You're just torturing yourself doing this."

Sirius whines in response, which almost immediately turns into a dry heave. 

"Shh," Remus comforts, "Let it go, I've got you."

Sirius gags three more times before he finally throws up. He leans his forehead against the seat and he knows it's disgusting but he's is too tired to care. Remus starts to pull away and Sirius whines as he tries to push back into his touch. 

"Just getting water, Pads."

Remus is back almost a minute later. He pulls Sirius away from the toilet and lets him rest against his chest as they sit on the floor. Remus takes the water and presses it into Sirius' hands, who drinks it greedily.

"Would you like to get up now?" Remus asks after a while, stroking his hands up and down Sirius' arms.

"In a minute. If I get up too soon I'll just throw up again."

"Has this happened before?" Remus asks, a protective edge in his voice.

"Have I thrown up before? Yes, Remus, I have thrown up plenty of times," Sirius says, knowing exactly what Remus is asking, but he chooses to be difficult, just because he can.

"No, you prat. The morning sickness."

"Past four days."

"Four days!? How did I not notice?" Remus feels unreasonable guilty at finding out he just completely missed his boyfriends sickness for four straight days.

"Because you don't love me, obviously!" Sirius snarks, rolling his eyes. "I dunno. You were at work and stuff. I woke up hours after you left."

"Sorry I wasn't there, love."

"Oh, sod off. How do you think I knew anyway?"

"I dunno." Remus shrugs his shoulders. "I thought you just.. knew."

"Yeah, I just 'knew'. I'm not a bloody wizard."

After a week of watching helplessly as Sirius throws up on the bathroom floor, Remus goes to Lily.

He knows there isn't much he can do in terms of Sirius' morning sickness, but he can do enough to make him feel like he is doing something. 

Remus started by cleaning the toilet seat every night so Sirius wouldn't have to rest his head on their butts every morning. He made sure to always have a water bottle on the counter. Remus also stopped eating tomato ketchup crisps when Sirius admitted that it made him nauseous

But still, Remus feels that he isn't doing enough. 

So, when he remembered that Lily knows how to french braid, and that Sirius' hair is long enough to french braid, he just had to ask her to teach him. And, of course, he wanted to see her. They haven't seen each other in a while and Remus misses her.

He texts her that morning about it, after helping Sirius back to bed after he was done vomiting. She replies almost immediately and Remus is shocked to find that Lily Evans is awake before 8:00 am. 

Remus goes over a couple hours later, getting pushed out the door by Sirius after asking if he's alright for the fifth time. 

They hug the moment Lily opens the door. 

"Remus! I missed you! We haven't seen each other in forever."

"I've missed you too, Lils. But you know it hasn't even been a week, right?"

"Too long!"

They talk for a while and Lily forced some of what she and James baked that week onto him. Eventually Remus finds himself on the couch with Lily sitting in front of him with some stupid show they both love for some reason playing in the background. 

It's his third time attempting at braiding her hair. It looks drastically better than the first attempt. Remus feels a bit comforted by the fact he'll be doing this to Sirius for convenience and not looks. Sirius would absolutely murder him if Remus let him go out with his hair looking this bad. 

"Oh!" Lily exclaims suddenly. "You should practice on James when he gets home."

"He'll probably love it, the weirdo." Remus knows that James will agree almost immediately to letting him braid his hair. 

"Come on, you know it's sweet how he'll do anything for us," she points out.

It is, but Remus doesn't want to let her be right. "You're such a sap."

"Oh, please. Have you seen the way you act around Sirius lately?" Remus can feel her eye roll even without her even looking at him. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You've been so... protective and caring and affectionate. And you look at him like he's your whole world."

"Damn, Lils, I didn't know this was going to get philosophical."

Remus supposes she's right. He has been more protective over Sirius since finding out he's pregnant. It's not his fault, though. His beautiful boyfriend is caring their child, sue him if he wants to take care of him more and show his love. 

"These posh boys got us wrapped around their fingers, haven't they?"

"They do, Lily, they really do."

Lily's point is proven that night. 

Remus spends almost half an hour getting Sirius' hair right. It's a bit more difficult than Lily's hair, hers was a lot longer. But he's eventually able to get it, and based off the look on Sirius' face as he does, Remus knows it was worth it. 

For the rest of his first trimester and halfway through his second, Sirius goes to bed with his hair french braided by Remus.

They find out that they can get an ultra sound at 6 weeks. Well, Sirius knew that already. He came across that during his 'research panic' as Remus calls it. But now they're finally able to actually go.

Sirius bounces his leg up and down as he waits for Remus to finish getting ready so they can go.

"Alright, love?" Remus asks as he ties up his shoes.

"Yeah, just nervous," Sirius says as he chews at his lip. "I dunno why."

"It's okay to be nervous." Remus leads them out the door.

The whole ride there Sirius is unable to shake off the anxiety in his chest.

"Can you do it?" Sirius asks him suddenly as they walk in.

"I don't think it works like that, Pads."

"No, like sign in or whatever." He knows it's stupid to be scared of such a silly thing, but Sirius just can't ease the nerves.

"Course. Go sit down."

Sirius takes a seat and picks up a magazine from a small table next to him. It has to be at least five years old.

Remus comes back and Sirius' eyes don't leave the magazine as he reaches a hand out for Remus to hold. Remus takes it as he sits.

They don't have to wait too long; the office is relatively empty.

"Black?"

"Really got to get that changed, huh?" Sirius mutters to Remus as he stands up. 

They follow the woman down a hallway and into a room. She pats the chair. "Up here, dad."

Sirius gets settled on the chair as the doctor sets up the ultrasound machine. "So, how far along are we?"

"'Bout six weeks," Sirius answers. 

"Alright, you'll get to see your baby today then. Lift your shirt up, please."

Sirius lifts his shirt up so his stomachs out. She grabs a bottle and pops the lid open. "This'll be cold."

She pours gel onto his stomach and then grabs her thing— Sirius remembers finding what it's called, but he can't remember what it actually is— and starts rubbing it over his stomach. 

Sirius squeezes Remus' hands as she looks at the screen. 

"There we are." She turns the screen towards them and points to where their baby is.

"Oh, wow," Remus says softly.

"Would you like a hard copy?"

"Yes," Sirius says immediately.

"I'll go print it." She clicks something on the screen and leaves the room, patting Sirius' leg as she goes.

"She's beautiful," Sirius breaths.

"She?"

"Yeah, she. It's a girl. I can tell."

"Hmm," Remus hums, not wanting to point out that that makes no sense, or the fact that he disagrees, and ruin the moment.

The doctor comes back and hands the sonogram to Remus, who lets go of Sirius' hand to hold the picture with both hands.

Remus carefully puts the picture in his pocket as they go, after letting Sirius have a look first, of course. "Thank you, Dr. Longbottom."

"Call me Alice."

For the entire ride home, Sirius stares at the picture. 

Then when they get home, they both stare at it as they sit on the couch. 

Their baby is perfect.

"Remus! It is burning hot in here."

"It's not though, love. There's three days till Christmas, mate. If anything, it's freezing cold."

For the past couple of weeks, Sirius has been especially warm while trying to sleep. He is constantly heated up, and not in the fun way.

"It's the baby!" Sirius exclaims suddenly. He loves playing this card. He knows that Remus will eventually give in to whatever it is if he brings up his pregnancy. "It's just heating my body up real bad."

"Sirius, I just don't think that's how that works," Remus says from the bed Sirius refuses to get in.

"I am pregnant with your child!" Sirius yells. "You did this to me." He gestures back and forth between Remus and his stomach.

Remus throws his head back and groans. He's trying really hard to not smile because he knows Sirius will win if he does. "I don't know what you would like me to do. You're already in your boxers and you insist on keeping the heavy blanket on the bed."

"Oh, I dunno," Sirius says as he climbs over Remus to get into bed.

"Then why were we arguing!?" Remus is getting more confused by the second.

"Well you said something that got me heated up." Sirius high-fives himself over his own pun. "And then I kinda forgot about what we were talking about 'cause I feel so bloody warm."

Remus just sighs as he turns to turn the light off while Sirius rambles. He gets comfortable in bed and makes sure to not touch Sirius in case he over heats him. 

"Then— Are you not going to cuddle me, Remus?"

Remus suddenly bursts out laughing, he's not completely sure why, he thinks he might be going insane. "Oh, my god," he says in between laughs. 

"What?" Remus can practically hear Sirius' pout.

"Well you know how warm I get at night, babe. I didn't want to overheat you." 

"But I want to cuddle."

And with that voice, and that look in his eye that he knows Sirius has, Remus will give him anything he wants.

Sirius works his way happily against Remus' chest before he can even move. Remus wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer without any further thought.

"Happy?"

"Mmm," Sirius mumbles into Remus' neck, somehow already half asleep.

They decide to tell James and Lily during their annual Christmas celebration. Well, Sirius told Remus that if he has to keep the secret from James he'll explode. 

James, Lily, Sirius and Remus always get together on Christmas eve. They exchange gifts and usually go back to their flats—they switch off every year— and then in the morning they giver their own gifts to each other, and in the afternoon the four of them end it with at the Potter's residence.

"Do you think I'm starting to show?" Sirius asks as he poses in front of the mirror. They're getting ready to go to James and Lily's, but Sirius is holding them up, like usual.

"Maybe a bit," he says, just to get Sirius moving. Remus checks the time on his phone. Again.

A few minutes later, Sirius is finally ready to leave.

"How are we going to tell them, Moons?" Sirius asks on the drive there.

"Well, obviously we should wait until you've had at least two drinks then tell them so James loses his mind."

"Oh, can we? Can we? I'll switch my drink out for water or something. Oh, Rem, you're a bloody genius."

"I know," Remus says smugly.

They perfect their plan on the way up to the flat. Sirius stops in front of the door and knocks, Remus rolls his eyes; Sirius has had a key to James' flat— and vice versa— since he moved in.

James swings the door open a moment later. "Pads, you've got a key. Anyway, Happy Chris—"

"I'm pregnant!" Sirius suddenly exclaims.

"Sirius!" Remus yells.

"I'm sorry!" Sirius cries. "I panicked!"

"You're pregnant!?" James asks shell shocked, a little frozen by the news. "I'm going to be an uncle!"

"Duh. And it's your fault, by the way," Sirius says as he pushes past James and into the flat, pulling Remus in behind him.

James closes the door behind them. "How is it my—" James gasps. "Wait— No, it can't be. Am I—? The father?"

"Yes, James, it's been you." Sirius takes James' hands in his. "It's always been you."

"Sirius is pregnant with James' baby?" Lily asks Remus as she appears suddenly next to him.

"Yep. He said I can be the godfather. Maybe they'll let you be the godmother. Hey, lovebirds, can Lils be your childs godmother?"

"Yes," James says as the same time Sirius says, "Eh. Maybe."

"'Eh'? 'Maybe'? What's so wrong with me?"

"You're too... ginger. And you can't charm me like Remus can." Sirius sticks his tongue out at her.

"Like hell I can't," Lily retorts, sticking her tongue out back at him.

"Jokes aside, Sirius, I'm really happy for you," James says as he pulls Sirius into a bone-crushing hug.

"Wait, you're actually pregnant!?" Lily exclaims, jumping up in shock.

Remus takes the sonogram from his wallet and shows it to her. "Holy shit, Rem!" Lily pulls him into a tight hug. "Oh, my God, you're going to be a dad!"

"I can barely believe it."

"Me neither," Sirius admits. 

"Sirius, you're pregnant!" Lily says as she goes to hug him as James lets go. 

"I know!"

James walks over and pats Remus on the shoulder as Lily and Sirius talk. James and Lily briefly make eye contact, James raises his eyebrows and Lily nods. 

"I guess were both gonna be dads, then," James says to Remus. 

Remus pushes James' shoulder. "No! Are you ser— joking?"

"Nope," James says with a gigantic grin. Remus thinks that he has never seen James so happy. "We found out two weeks ago."

"Found out what?" Sirius asks.

"I'm pregnant!" Lily tells him.

Sirius' head snaps back to Lily. "No, there is no way. Are you actually? How far along?"

"Almost two months."

"Me too! Wait, that means." Sirius turns to Remus. "The Halloween party," they say in unison.

"How is it possible that we both happened to get pregnant on the same day?" Lily asks.

"Well, personally, I blame James," Sirius says to Lily, pointing an accusatory finger at James.

"Why!? What did I do?" James asks, throwing his hands up.

"You're the one who doesn't properly supply his guest room with condoms!" Sirius yells.

Lily starts to laugh so loudly that Remus worries they'll get a noise complaint from the neighbors. She leans on Remus for support. He starts to laugh too and he can feel tears in his eyes. Both their stomachs start to hurt from how hard they're laughing.

"Ew! Ew! Ew!" James covers his ears as he shakes his head violently. "You had sex in our guest bedroom? That's disgusting!"

"That's homophobic!"

James storms off down the hallway. 

"Where are you going?" Sirius asks, following after him.

"I'm burning the sheets!"

"No! That's where our baby was conceived!"

Remus and Lily nearly pee themselves from laughter.

Sirius and Remus are lounging in their living room. Sirius is scrolling on his phone on the couch while Remus reads in the armchair by the window, or he's trying to anyway, he can't seem to keep his eyes off of Sirius.

"Remus!" Sirius exclaims suddenly.

"What!" Remus mocks, eyes darting back to his book so he can pretend that he wasn't just staring Sirius for a possibly creepy amount of time.

"Come here, you have to see this onesie I just saw. It's so cute!"

"You know the baby won't be born for like, another six months," Remus says even as he puts his book down and get up.

Sirius moves into a sitting position. He shoves his phone into Remus' hands as he sits down. Sirius points at the onesie like he can't see, and Remus has to admit that he does find it cute.

"Won't it be so cut on Sirius Jr.?" Sirius asks.

Remus raises an eyebrow as he looks over at Sirius. "I still don't get why you want to name our child Sirius Jr. if you think they're going to be a girl."

"Because I'm incredibly vain, Remus," Sirius scoffs, like Remus should already know this.

Remus rolls his eyes as he bites back a grin. "I don't know why you're even bothering with looking for clothes. You know Effie is already halfway through making them a whole wardrobe."

"But." Remus can see as Sirius struggles to come up with a defense. "It's cute!"

"On Sirius Jr., maybe, I guess. But not so much on Remus Jr."

"Stop pushing your boy agenda on us," Sirius accuses, wrapping a protective arm around his stomach. "She's a girl, I can tell."

"My 'boy agenda'?" Remus laughs, finally breaking. "How can you tell anyway? I thought that you aren't a 'bloody wizard'."

"I don't know, Remus. I just can. I feel it, deep in my loins."

"Ew." Remus screws his face up in fake disgust. "Do not mention your loins as you talk about our child."

"Well, moonflower," Sirius says, a grin slowly making it's way onto his face. Remus knows he's screwed now. "It's either you admit that we're having a girl and not a boy, or, I get to talk about my loins all I want."

Remus doesn't answer and crosses his arms as he slowly starts to turn his face away from Sirius.

"That's what I thought. And I'm going to get this onesie, 'cause it's cute."

"It is kinda cute," Remus admits quietly, giving up on pretending to be a sore loser.

"Thank you," Sirius says smugly. "And even if—if— we have a boy, which we won't, he'll be the prettiest little baby boy in all the land."

"All the land, huh? Why not just this land?"

Sirius shakes his head. "Nope. All the land.

"Alright. He'll be hot, being a combination of us, after all."

"Do not call our child hot, it's weird."

"Oh, so you can talk about your loins all you want, but I can't say hot," Remus says, knowing that Sirius is right. "I didn't think it through all the way, alright?"

"First of all, Remus," Sirius says, holding a finger up. "Just call our daughter cute or adorable, you weirdo. Or handsome as you insist. Second, not thinking things through is for me and James only."

Remus opens his mouth to argue for no particular reason, other than he loves his and Sirius' banter. "That's fair. Anyway, no matter the sex of the baby, they'll be goddamn adorable. Way more than James and Lily's."

"Well, I mean obviously, Remus. She'll be a combination of us and we're bloody hot. Their kid will have nothing against ours."

"She'll be beautiful." Remus looks at Sirius and he knows that no matter what their baby will look like he'll love them so hard it'll hurt.

"Ha! So you admit she'll be a girl!"

"No— That's not— No!"

They argue for the next twenty minutes over it, switching topics almost four times. It finally ends when Remus kisses Sirius suddenly. 

Since Remus found out Sirius is pregnant, he's felt his love grow everyday for him. And everyday Remus makes that revelation and is somehow always surprised and, in the moment, just needs to find a way to show Sirius how much he loves him.

It usually comes in the form of sudden kisses, or Remus grabbing Sirius' hand, or Remus just staring at him with love in his eyes like a puppy.

Remus leaves the room for two minutes during the commercial break, and when he comes back, Sirius is crying— sobbing, really.

"Pads..." he says as he sits back down. "Are you crying over a car commercial?" Remus moves back to his position of cuddling Sirius against his chest under the blanket.

"Yes, don't look at me!"

"Okay..." Remus raises his sweater-sleeve-covered-hand to wipe Sirius' tears away. "Um, why?"

"Because it's bloody sad, that's why! I mean look, moony. All their stuff is like in a line or whatever on the beach for some reason and their dog's running through it. And it's like he's going through his owners lives— Oh, God, look he's a puppy again!" Sirius rants, waving his arms around as a new batch of tears form.

"Oh, okay..." Remus says slowly, starting to get concerned. "Sirius, love, are you alright? You've been really emotional lately. More so than usual. I mean the other day you started crying 'cause you saw a duck at the park."

"He was cute, you cow!" Sirius exclaims.

Remus raises an eyebrow as he goes to pause the TV.

"...Sorry. Maybe you're right. It's been really tiring, Rem. First I'm sad 'cause I saw something cute, then I'm happy 'cause of the same thing, then I have to pee, then I'm hungry, then I'm sad again, and then I have to pee, again! I pee like a million times a day."

Sirius starts to tear up and Remus is quick to start working a hand through his hair, another stroking softly over his cheek, which he knows helps Sirius calm down.

"I'm sorry, Pads. I'm sorry I can't do anything to help you with it."

"This helps," Sirius admits, snuggling deeper into Remus' chest.

Remus is glad to find out there's at least something he can do to help Sirius. "How about this, hm? When ever you feel like this, no matter what time it is or what I'm doing, you'll come get me and I'll hold you like this."

Sirius shifts so he can rest his cheek beneath Remus' chin, right on his collar bone. "Okay, moons," Sirius says quietly. 

Remus knows Sirius is falling asleep. While he doesn't really want to spend the night on the couch, he also doesn't want to wake the man sleeping on him. He takes his hand that isn't in Sirius' hair and starts to gently stroke up and down his back, as he slowly reconfigures them so he's lying down.

When he starts to hear the soft snoring that Sirius refuses to admit he does, Remus knows he's fully sleeping.

Sirius is lying in bed when he feels it. He's been awake for hours, way before the sun rose, and he has been unable to go back to bed. After tossing and turning for about an hour, Sirius gave up and started reading the book Remus left on the nightstand. 

Over the last couple weeks, his stomach has started to round out. Making him look like he's pregnant and not getting the beginnings of a beer belly.

At first he thinks it's a small cramp that's bothering him, then he looks down from the book to find his stomach is moving.

"What the fuck," Sirius mutters. He realizes a moment later that their baby is kicking for the first time and his reaction was 'what the fuck'.

He watches them kick for a minute in distaste and awe before tentatively placing his hand over his stomach. Sirius gasps in joy as he feels the movements under his hand.

"Rem, wake up," he says as he shakes Remus.

Remus stretches as his eyes slowly opens his eyes. He rolls over as he smacks his lips. "Hm, what?"

"Look at my stomach."

Remus' eyes go down to his stomach. "What the fuck."

"That's what I said! She's kicking."

Remus' eyes widen as he sits up. "Really?" He gets that look in his eyes again that's so full of love it makes Sirius want to jump him.

Sirius takes Remus' hand and places it on his stomach. The kicking suddenly stops. 

"What the hell?" Remus mutters.

Sirius laughs as he moves Remus' hand around his stomach. "Maybe she got shy."

"Oh, come on," Remus says, exasperated. "He has to stop right when I wake up. That's such a you move."

"Oi!" Sirius yells. "Okay, yeah, it's true. I couldn't come up with a comeback. She'll do it again anyway. And if she doesn't, I'll make her."

"I don't know how you'll do that, but okay. It's fine anyway. No offense or anything but it looked weird as hell."

"I know right. It looked like I have an alien inside me."

"Maybe you do," Remus says with a shrug, remembering that Sirius told him that while sleep talking.

"Remus! That's not funny!" Sirius looks at him in alarm. "You know I'm scared about that. I told you in confidence!"

Sirius shoots up in bed with a gasp. A heavy sob works it's way out of him as he shakes. He flinches away when he feels heavy hands on his spine. 

"Sorry, love, it's me. It's just me."

Sirius turns to shove his face into Remus' neck. Remus is quick to wrap his hands around him and pull him close. "I've got you, you're alright." His hand moves to hold the back of his hand as his other works up and down Sirius' back.

They stay like that for a little while: Sirius crying into Remus' neck as Remus holds him and comforts him with whispers into his ear and soft touches. 

"Did you have a nightmare?" Remus asks eventually.

Sirius nods, bumping his chin into Remus' shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Sirius nods again, his sobs starting to slow down.

"Okay," Remus says, letting the room go quiet as he waits until Sirius is comfortable to start talking.

"In the dream we— I lost— we lost the baby and it was my fault and then you got mad." The words start to spill out of Sirius as he goes on,as he gets borderline hysteric. "And then you left me too and I was all alone and it was all my fault, and—" Sirius breaks off as he starts to sob heavily. He gasps for air as he tries to keep going.

"Sirius, stop, stop. Just breathe." Remus takes Sirius' hand and places it on his chest. He takes exaggerated big breaths so Sirius can feel them. "Just follow me, alright?"

Sirius takes a big gasp for air and quickly exhales. "Slowly, Sirius. Like this." Remus takes a slow, deep breath in, he waits three seconds then slowly breathes out. Sirius copies his actions.

"There you go. Keep breathing like that."

Remus coaches Sirius until he's breathing steadily. "You're alright, Sirius. We didn't lose the baby. She is perfectly fine. I will never leave you or be angry with you over anything like that. And if anything happens, it will not be your fault."

"But how do we know, Remus? Something horrible could have happened and we would have no idea."

"Sirius, trust me, if something happened— which it didn't— we would know."

"But—" Just then, the baby started to kick. "Oh." Sirius let two tears of relief slip as he moved his hand over his stomach. He felt the kicks for a moment before grabbing Remus' hand and placing it on his stomach.

"Oh, wow," Remus whispered. "He's perfect."

"I know. She's really is."

"See? The baby's fine. Bloody amazing."

Sirius and Remus argue the entire way to the next ultra sound. It's the fourth one, and they get to find out the sex of the baby. Or not. They can't decide.

They're still arguing as Sirius hops up on the chair. They cut themselves off as the doctor comes in. 

"Hey, Alice," Sirius says.

"Hello. How are we doing today?" She starts to set the machine up. She pours the gel on Sirius' stomach, which he still isn't used to. 

"Uh." Sirius glances at Remus. "Good."

"You guys excited? We can find out the sex today."

"Or not," Sirius says, turning towards Remus.

"Sirius, come on, you really don't want to know?"

"Uh, oh. Can't decide whether to find out or not? Me and Frank argued over that too."

"Did you?" Sirius asks.

"We're having a boy."

"See, Sirius. They found out."

"Oh, I'm so happy for you," Sirius says, pointedly ignoring Remus.

"Thank you. Now, Sirius, why don't you want to know?"

"Because I already know. It's a girl."

Alice glances at the screen, not revealing anything with her face. 

"Am I right? Tell me I'm right."

She just shrugs. "Hey, if you guys can't decide I can always write it down and put it in an envelope."

Remus and Sirius look at each other, silently coming to agreement. "That'll be good, thanks," Remus says. "And congrats to you and Frank."

While Alice turns to write the sex down, Remus and Sirius both admittedly try to take a peak. She's too quick though and stuffs it into the envelope without either of them seeing. 

"Want me to print the sonogram?"

"Always."

That night, they both look in the envelope and find out. Neither one of them tells the other, no matter how much one of them would love to shove it in the others face.

"Remus. Rem. Remu. ReRe. MuMu. Re. Mu. Mus. Sum. Sumer. Sumer?. Moony. Moons. Moonflower. Moo. Mooncheese. Moonpie... Remus!"

Remus startles awake. He shoots up in bed and looks wildly around. "What? What's wrong?"

"I'm hungry," Sirius admits guiltily. He had woken up not too long ago with an overwhelming desire for a specific food. He would have gotten it himself but it was starting to get hard to drive because of the bump and he has never been that good of a driver, especially at night when he's tired. 

"Sirius. What?"

"I'm sorry. I just really want dal makhani and it kind of hurts. It's stupid just go back to sleep." Sirius tries to push Remus back into lying down.

Remus ignores his efforts. "It hurts?"

"Well, a little. It's just a craving or whatever," Sirius says sheepishly. He feels really guilty not about waking Remus up just because he's hungry. "You can go back to sleep it's fine."

"No, I'll get it." Remus gets up and tries to find his pants in the dark. "What do you want again?"

"Uh, dal makhani. Effie makes it sometimes."

Remus pauses halfway through pulling his pants on to look at the clock. "Sirius, I don't think she'll be awake at almost two am to make you this."

"I wasn't expecting her to wake up in the middle of the night to cook me food. I mean, she would because she's the most amazing person in the world. They have it at the place down the street. We went there a couple weeks ago."

"They're open this late?"

"Until three."

"I don't want to know why you know that."

Remus crosses the room to kiss Sirius on the cheek. 

"Bye," Sirius says as Remus leaves the room.

"Bye," Remus calls down the hallway. 

"Love you!" Sirius can hear Remus say it back right before the door slams shut. 

Sirius tries to doze off but can't and ends up on his phone for the next twenty minutes before Remus gets home. 

Remus comes in with his arms full of food. "I got you your dal makhani and pink lemonade, because I know you like that."

Sirius opens the box Remus hands him as he takes off his shoes and pants and gets in bed. 

"And I got— Are you crying?" Sirius raises a hand to his cheek and realizes that he is in fact crying. "Did I get the wrong thing?" Remus asks, biting his lip.

"No. No, you got the right thing."

"Then why are you crying, love?" Remus asks gently, concern growing on his face.

"Because you got the food I wanted even though I woke you up in the middle of the night."

"You said it hurt, of course I did it." Remus reaches up to wipe away his tears. "Now eat your food, it's getting cold."

Sirius laughs wetly as he starts to eat. 

When he's almost finished, Remus notices Sirius eyeing up his food. He pushes his plate towards Sirius. "Want some?"

"What is it?"

"Kulcha. I'm not that hungry anyway." Remus isn't even lying. He wasn't starving when he got to the restaurant but he was there and figured it wouldn't hurt.

"Can I?" Sirius' eyes light up.

Remus looks at him with a really stupid grin on his face. "Course, Pads."

Sirius eagerly takes his plate. "You can have the rest of mine," he says around a mouth full of food. Remus smiles at him as he finishes Sirius' food. 

"Was it good?" Remus asks once they've stacked the boxes on the nightstand.

"Delicious. Thank you."

"Anything for you, Pads," Remus says, meaning every word he said.

Sirius must be mad at him. Remus can't figure out what else it could be. 

Just a minute ago, he sat down on the couch next to Sirius and went to hold his hand, but he pulled away. Which, yes, he knows, isn't that big of a deal. But stuff like this has been happening all week. 

"Are you mad at me?" Remus finally asks after building up the courage. "Did I do something?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" 

Sirius looks at him weirdly and Remus wonders if he horribly misread this whole thing.

"Sirius, you haven't let me touch you in, like a week."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Remus," Sirius says, suddenly angry, "that I don't want your dick in my ass when I can't even see down there 'cause of my gigantic stomach."

Remus' eyebrows shoot up, this is not at all how he expected this to go. "That's not what I meant. You haven't let me touch you, like hold your hand or anything."

"I don't want you to touch at me. I'm disgusting. I'm fat and my boobs are sore and I'm crying all the time. Yesterday, I couldn't even button my pants."

Remus feels horrible knowing that Sirius has been thinking like this for a week, maybe even longer. "So? I don't care about any of that. You're pregnant, Sirius, of course you're going to get a little bigger. I would be a complete asshole if I made you feel bad about yourself."

"I look like a bloody woman, okay? Ever since I've gone off T and stopped binding, you can tell. My hips and my legs and my chest, they've all gotten— I was at the store the other day and another pregnant lady thought I was a woman. She apologized once I told her and was really nice, she actually felt pretty bad— but that's not the point. She still thought I was a woman. And I can't really blame her. Look at me!" Sirius gestures wildly at his body. 

"Sirius, you have never been and will never be a woman. No matter what you look like or what other people think, you are a man. You are the man that I love."

"Oh, please, I know you're probably tired of it by now." 

"Tired of what, Sirius?"

"Of me! Of my body!" Sirius exclaims. "You started dating me figuring I'd look like a man eventually and here we are, five years later, and I still look like a girl."

"Sirius, I have never thought that. Never."

"Can you just leave me already?" Sirius asks and Remus' heart breaks. "I can't keep waiting around for the day you finally realize that I am not what you ever wanted in life."

Remus slips off the couch to crouch in front of Sirius. He grabs Sirius' hands. "Sirius, I need you to listen to me now."

Sirius looks away as he tries to pull his hands out of Remus' grasp. "Rem, please," he whispers, voice cracking.

"No, Sirius," Remus says sternly, not leaving room for argument. "I need you to listen to me and then I'll stop, okay?"

Sirius doesn't move for a moment until he nods.

"Look at me please," Remus begs.

Sirius turns to look at him, his eyes not quiet meeting his though.

"Sirius, you are my wonderful, sweet, handsome, amazing boyfriend. You are the bravest person I know. At fifteen you were brave enough to run away from a horrible family and travel across two countries to get to James. I could have never done that. You are pregnant with our child, and I know you're scared. It's scary. I'm scared and I'm not even the one pregnant. I could never do what you're doing."

Sirius starts to silently sob. Remus can feel tears running down his face too.

"Every bad day you have, I realize how strong you are. Honestly, it scares me how strong and brave you are. I didn't think you could love someone so much until I met you. Every single day you remind me how much my love grows. One night two weeks ago you feel asleep, like way before me. I watched you sleep for a little. And you know what, Sirius? You were bloody beautiful. I looked at you and our baby that you're growing with your amazing body."

Remus takes a deep breath. "I realized how much I love you that night. And, my God, Sirius, is it a lot. I started to cry just because of how much I love you. The point is, Sirius, that no matter what, I'll love you. No matter what you look like and no matter what happens. You can depend on me for that. You can know, that no matter what, I will be right there next to you loving you with all my being. You are everything and anything I have ever wanted my whole life."

Sirius opens his mouth to speak but breaks off in a heavy sob. Remus goes to wrap his arms around him but stops as Sirius whines and tightens his grip on his hands. 

"It's okay, Sirius."

"Rem," Sirius is able to gasp out between his sobs. 

He finally releases his grasp and Remus is quick to wrap Sirius up in his arms. Remus holds him like if he were to let go, Sirius would crumple into pieces.

"You're okay," he says into Sirius' hair. "I've got you. I'm right here."

They go shopping for maternity clothes two days later. Well, not exactly maternity clothes, just clothes that are bigger than the ones Sirius normally wears. The few maternity clothes Sirius looked at were deemed 'too ugly, really, Remus? You think I would wear this?'

Of course, they didn't even consider going until they discussed what happened. Late into the night they talked about Sirius' fears and insecurities, and how it is okay for him to feel like that as long as he tells Remus about it before it gets too bad.

They're already an hour into shopping and Sirius has yet to find anything. 

Remus picks up a shirt and waves it wildly at Sirius, becoming borderline hysterical. "Sirius, what about this one?" he asks desperately.

Sirius barely even up glances at the shirt. "I already have that, Rem."

Remus resists to ball the shirt up and groan into it. "But you don't fit into that one."

"Yeah, but if I have to get new clothes to fit into I want to at least get ones that I don't already have," Sirius scoffs.

Sirius picks up a sweater and holds it in front of Remus. "Do you like this?"

"We're not shopping for me, Sirius."

"But while we're here we might as well."

Remus looks down at the sweater. "Sure," he says, hoping it will get Sirius to move on faster.

"Great! I just gotta find it in extra large." Sirius turns back to the piles of sweaters. 

"I am a medium." Remus is starting to catch onto what Sirius is doing.

"I know, I just don't want it to shrink in the wash and not fit," Sirius says, not meeting Remus' eyes.

"Our washer has never done that. If you want the sweater, than you get it."

"But I don't want it to be my sweater, I want it to be your sweater."

"Why?" Remus knows he shouldn't indulge but he can't help himself from trying— and failing— to understand Sirius' thought process.

"Because if it's my sweater it smells like me, and if it's your sweater it smells like you. I like wearing your clothes, they smell like you."

"Okay, I get it now. You want to get this sweater but I have to wear it first so it smells like me?"

Sirius nods. 

"This just made everything much easier."

Another hour later, Remus leaves the store with a small new wardrobe— and Sirius by default.

"That is the most horrid color I have ever seen in my life," Remus says, being entirely genuine.

They're trying to put the nursery together. Currently, they're at the hardware store picking out a color to paint the room. So naturally it becomes a whole argument.

"What's wrong with it?" Sirius looks down at the paint sample in his hand. "It's purple!"

"An ugly purple."

"You're ugly," Sirius mutters. "That's a mean thing to say, Remus."

"Really, Sirius? You said the yellow that I picked out made you want to vomit on puppies. That's not even mean, it's just fucked up."

"Well, excuse me for your horrible taste." 

Remus sighs as he picks up a light, sage-y green. "What about this one?"

"I hate it! Wait, actually it looks cute. Sorry, I was just stuck in the hating mindset. Oh, I really like it. Can it be this one, Rem?"

"This is the first one I suggested. I think you said something about it looking like the insides of a kitten dyed green."

"Okay, so, in my defense, I had seen a really enchanting blue, like right before it. So naturally I had to shut down yours as quickly and violently as possible."

Remus smiles at Sirius as he grabs his hand. "Sometimes it's really difficult to not murder you."

Sirius picks up the color sample and waves it back and forth with a big grin. "We found a pretty color, though! And if we're being honest, I've been on a great insult roll today."

"You have," Remus says as he leads them to the counter. "They've been pretty good." Remus hands the sample to the worker at the counter. 

"Would you like it matte or gloss?"

"Oh," Sirius looks down at the workers name tag, "Beth, you don't know what you've done." 

Remus turns to look at Sirius.

"So—"

They leave twenty minutes later with two buckets of paint and a traumatized worker in their midst. 

All the workers at their local baby furniture stores are lucky that Fleamont and Euphemia and Remus' parents have already provided them with all the furniture they'll need.

"Oh, if it's a boy— which it won't— let's name him Richard," Sirius announces.

"Why?" Remus asks, knowing Sirius well enough to know he has some sort of an interior motive.

"Because then we can call him 'Dick' for short."

"Are you sure you're not the child we're having?"

"It's funny!" Sirius giggles to himself, "Dick."

Remus rolls his eyes as he smiles at Sirius.

"How about Aubergine?"

"That's nice."

"Yeah, after Princess Aubergine."

"Who?"

"It's from a story Effie told me. She would read to me when I couldn't sleep when I first moved in."

"That was nice of her," Remus says, tucking Sirius' head under his chin.

"It was."

They sit in silence for a moment, basking in the feeling of the warmth from each other.

"Can we name them after one of Uranus' moons?" Sirius asks suddenly, fighting the grin that's clearly trying to make it's way onto his face.

"Why?" Remus asks, totally unaware of what's to come.

"Because I love Uranus."

Remus throws his head back as he groans. 

"That's it, you don't get to name her."

"Her? I thought you were so set on us having a boy," Sirius says, turning accusatory at Remus.

Remus eyes widen as he looks at Sirius guiltily. "So, don't get mad, but I might have peaked at the envelope Alice gave us."

"Remus! How could you?"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"You were just going to not tell me I was right until she was born?" Sirius covers his mouth as he realizes what he said. "Shit, wait."

"You knew too!?" Remus exclaims. "When did you look?"

"The moment you turned your back."

"I can't even get that mad at you because I looked the second you went to the bathroom— which was almost immediately. Like we hadn't even left the doctors yet."

"Why didn't we just find out during the sonogram instead of making Alice write it down?" Sirius asks.

"Probably because I was scared that you would be right and you were scared that you wouldn't be right."

"Well, suck it, 'cause look who won that one," Sirius says, sticking his hand in Remus' face.

"Yeah you really got me. We're having a healthy baby girl. I really lost that one."

"I think I want to name her Stella," Sirius says suddenly.

Remus hums. "I like it."

"Yeah?" Sirius looks at him hopefully. "It's Italian for star. Which I know it's stupid to follow a silly tradition that my shitty family has done. But I like it."

"I don't think it's stupid."

"Can we do it?"

"'Course."

Remus reaches his hand out to touch Sirius' stomach, which grows bigger by the day. "Hello, Stella."

"Shit," Sirius mumbles, his shoe falling back to the floor again. 

He supports his stomach as he pushes himself off the bench by the door. Sirius can't exactly squat down at this point so he has lower himself a little then tilt his body sideways to grab his shoe. 

His phone fell to the ground five minutes ago and he had no choice but to abandon it there. 

Sirius tries to put his foot on the bench so he can put his shoe on but his stomach takes up the space, and his foot keeps sliding off.

"Goddamn it!" he shouts, throwing the shoe he worked so hard to get, at the couch in anger.

Remus finally comes in then. He takes a look at Sirius with one shoe on and the other on the floor five feet away and tries not to laugh. Remus knows if he does Sirius will find another shoe to throw at him.

"Do you need help?" Remus asks as he grabs the shoe.

"Yes! It's my stupid stomach, it gets in the way of everything. Yesterday I knocked three separate cups off of the table because of it."

Remus starts to smile as he puts Sirius' shoe on.

"Don't laugh!"

"I'm not," Remus says, absolutely starting to laugh. "Do I need to tie them too?"

Sirius glares at Remus. 

"I'll take that as a yes," Remus says as he ties Sirius' shoes.

"You are so lucky you have no idea what it's like to basically have a watermelon strapped to your stomach."

Remus hands him his phone as he stands up. He starts to walk away. 

"Um, Remus. Forgetting something?" Sirius makes grabby hands at Remus.

"Seriously?" Remus groans as he realizes what he's done.

"I won't make the joke if you help me up."

Remus knows that Sirius is lying even as he pulls him up. 

"Thanks, Rem."

Sirius starts to walk away and Remus' eyebrows shoot up. Maybe Sirius has finally become mature.

"I'm always Sirius!" he yells with a sly smile.

"Goddamn it!"

Remus really doesn't want to make Sirius mad by bring it up, but... Sirius' hair has gotten a bit greasy and he has started to smell a little.

"Hey, Sirius, don't get mad."

"I probably will get mad, but yeah?" 

"Well, um, I was just wondering, when's like the last time you, oh, I don't know, uh, showered?"

Remus chews his lip anxiously as he waits for Sirius' reaction. 

Sirius puts down his phone as he crosses his arms. "Well, Remus, I was going to yesterday. But it's somewhat difficult when you can't stand for more than ten minutes at a time. And you know how bad I am at time management. Plus I can't really step into the shower; I have to sit down on the tub and swing my legs over. It's really annoying plus I was tired yesterday."

"Why didn't you just take a bath?"

Sirius is silent for a moment. "Because I didn't think of that."

"Really, Pads?"

"I know! Stop looking at me like that."

Remus gets up and holds his hands out for Sirius. "Come on."

"What?" Sirius asks as he lets Remus haul him to his feet.

Remus leads them to the bathroom. "You're going to take a bath. You smell."

"I do not!" Sirius lifts his shirt to his nose. "Oh, ew, okay, maybe I do."

Sirius sits on the closed toilet lid as Remus gets the water running.

"How warm?"

"Stella wants it hot," Sirius says, running his hand over his stomach.

"I didn't know you and Stella had telepathy."

"Yeah, it's nice. We make fun of you constantly." Sirius laughs at him while Remus rolls his eyes. "Anyway, I want it hot, like really hot. Like to the point I might third degree burns from it."

"Yeah, I'm not doing that. You get it lukewarm."

"Okay," Sirius says, happily swinging his feet back and forth.

"The tubs almost full, get naked."

"Wow, Rem, you really know how to woo a guy," Sirius says, throwing his dirty socks in Remus' face.

"Ew!" Remus exclaims. "And I'll 'woo' you properly when you don't smell."

"That's just cruel, Remus. Now help me up."

Remus helps Sirius to his feet and holds him steady as he gets in the tub. Sirius sinks into the water with a sigh.

"The water could be a little warmer, but it's fine, I guess."

"Close your eyes," Remus instructs as he fills up a cup with water. He holds a hand on Sirius' forehead so water doesn't get in his eyes.

"Oh, getting right to it. I thought we'd at least have some foreplay first."

"You're such a sicko," Remus says as he rubs shampoo into Sirius' scalp.

"I like what I like."

"Ugh," Remus groans. 

Sirius looks back and forth in the bathtub. "Remus, where is my goddamn rubber duck?"

"Sirius, you have never once had a rubber duck in this flat."

"Sure," Sirius says, side-eyeing Remus. "What ever you say."

"Why are you accusing me of throwing away your imaginary duck."

"So you did throw it out!" Sirius shrugs. "I don't know, I'm bored. Entertain me."

Remus rolls his eyes at him and throws a rag into the water. "Here, clean yourself off, get rid of the smell."

"What if I need help?" Sirius asks, pouting.

Remus laughs as he sits down and leans against the wall. "You do not need help."

"Fine," Sirius scoffs. "I'll do it myself."

"I hope you make it," Remus deadpans.

"Come back, I miss you."

Remus lifts himself of the floor. He fills the cup again and washes the shampoo from Sirius' hair. Sirius closes his eyes as he leans back. Remus works conditioner through Sirius' hair. 

"Still need help?"

Sirius blushes. "I can't reach my legs."

Remus grabs the rag as he sits on the edge of the tub. "If you pull me in I will murder you. Lift your leg up." 

He washes both of Sirius' legs, luckily not getting dragged in. Then he washes the conditioner from Sirius' hair and pulls the plug.

"Aw, already?"

"It's been," Remus checks his phone, "over twenty minutes since you got in."

"We've established that I have no concept of time."

Remus grabs two towels from the cabinet and places them on the counter. He pulls Sirius to his feet in the tub. 

"Careful!" Sirius exclaims. "I'm precious cargo."

Remus keeps a hand on Sirius as he reaches back to grab a towel. He wraps it around Sirius and helps him step, carefully, out of the tub.

Sirius sits on the toilet as Remus grabs the other towel. He starts to rub at Sirius' hair. 

"Ow!"

"Sorry."

"Oh, just give me the towel."

Remus hands Sirius the towel, who wraps his hair up in it.

"I'm cold," Sirius complains.

"Well, maybe if you had some clothes on," Remus says as they walk back to their room.

Sirius sits on their bed as he instructs Remus on what clothes to grab. Remus throws the clothes on the bed. 

Sirius leans on Remus as he gets dressed. He pulls on sweatpants and the sweater he made Remus buy for him to wear. Since Sirius overheated in the winter naturally he had to be freezing in the summer. 

While Remus goes back to the bathroom to put the towels away, Sirius gets comfortable under the covers.

Remus comes back and slips in next to him. 

"Better?" Remus asks as he runs his hands through Sirius' still drying hair.

"Yeah, feels nice," Sirius mumbles, already falling asleep.

"And you don't smell anymore."

Remus looks down, expecting a sarcastic comment back, only to find Sirius already asleep.

Remus sits wide awake a week before Sirius' due date. Ever since they've gotten closer and closer, he has been unable to sleep. He knows it's ridiculous that he thinks that somehow if he falls asleep he'll miss Sirius going into labor. 

But he can't fall asleep until he's watched Sirius stomach for a while as he rubs his hand back and forth over it. 

This time, the baby starts to kick beneath his touch. 

"Hi, Stella," Remus chuckles quietly.

Remus rubs his thumb back and forth. "How you doing in there? Me and your dad have been waiting a really long time to meet you. You must take after him, taking this long to come out. I can't wait until I get to hold you in your arms. I know that you're going to be the most beautiful baby girl in the whole wide world. I love you and your dad so much. You two are the most important people in my life. I will do anything for you guys."

The kicking starts to slow down. "Getting tired?" Remus yawns. "Me too."

He leans down to kiss Sirius' stomach. "Goodnight, baby. I love you with all my heart."

Remus rests his head on Sirius' stomach. He startles as he feels hands in his hair. 

He turns and sees Sirius' looking down at him. 

Remus clears his throat. "Uh, how much of that did you hear?"

"Everything. And you're lucky I'm very tired right now. And very pregnant."

"Why?"

"Because I really want to jump your bones after that."

Remus moves up towards Sirius and kisses him on the forehead. "Go to sleep, love."

Sirius is currently two weeks past his due date. Molly, who took over for Alice— who, like Lily, also gave birth on her due date, the lucky bastards— said that if he doesn't go into labor by the end of the week, they'll have to induce. 

He glares at James as he walks circles around the flat. They read that walking around a lot helps speed up labor.

"Sirius, stop looking at me like that," James says. 

"Well, it's not exactly fair that you don't have to hobble around with a gigantic stomach for two weeks longer than expected." Sirius points an accusatory finger at James. 

"I'm not even the one pregnant," James exclaims.

"Exactly!" Sirius calls as he and Remus walk down the hallway and out of sight from James. 

They make a lap through their bedroom, the bathroom, then the babies nursery. Which has finally come together. It's painted and the furniture has been put together— along painstaking process for James, and for everyone who had to watch— and clothes stuffed into every drawer they could find.

"When is this damn thing coming out, Rem?" Sirius asks.

"Soon, Sirius, very soon."

Sirius squeezes Remus' hand. "Promise?"

"Promise." Remus squeezes back.

"I need a damn break," Sirius announces as they reenter the living room.

Remus lowers him onto the couch. He sits down next to Sirius and wraps his arm around him. Sirius props his legs up on the coffee table.

"James, rub my feet."

"Ew. No." James shakes his head violently.

"Pretty please." Sirius bats his eyelashes at him while making puppy dog eyes. 

"Damn it," James mutters to himself. "Fine."

"Yay!"

James moves from the armchair to the coffee table, hesitantly rubbing Sirius' feet through his socks.

"Go on, take the socks off."

"Uh, no," James says in disgust, face twisting up.

"Why?" Sirius pouts.

"Because your feet are gross."

"Fair enough." Sirius turns to Remus. "You know, I've heard intercourse," Sirius wags his eyebrows, "speeds up labor."

James drops Sirius' foot. "Nope. No. Absolutely not."

"Why not? It's for medical reasons!"

"It's not and you know it. You and Remus are a bunch of perverts."

"What did I do?" Remus asks. 

"That's homophobic, James!" Sirius yells.

"Not wanting to constantly hear about your sex lives is not homophobic."

"Just rub my feet, Potter."

"We could always try the stairs," Remus suggests.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asks.

"Like walking up and down them. That'll definitely knock something loose."

"'Knock something loose'? Am I a vending machine with candy stuck in it, Remus?"

"If you want to be?" Remus says carefully. Sirius could fly into a fit of rage— or tears— at any given moment, and rightfully so.

Sirius just rolls his eyes at Remus as he sits up. He pulls his feet off of James' lap and gets ready to stand, grabbing onto James' hands as he does.

James hauls Sirius to his feet and holds him steady once he's up. He slings Sirius' arm over his shoulder and rests his hand on his back.

"You good, Pads?" Remus asks

"Yeah, Prongsys got me. Have some food ready when I come back, I'll be starving."

"You heard him," James says as they go out the door.

"Oh, shit," Sirius says as they start their slow walk down the hallway to the stair well.

"What?" James asks in concern.

"I don't have shoes on."

James looks down at Sirius' shoe-less feet. "Eh, it's fine. You've got socks on at least."

James lets go of Sirius for a moment so he can hold the stair doors open for him. He wraps his arm back around Sirius as they slowly start down the stairs.

"How've you been, Pads?"

"I've been," Sirius sighs. "It's been hard."

"Yeah? What's been hard?" James asks kindly, encouragingly.

"I don't know. Just a lot, I guess. Like my feet are swollen. And I have to pee constantly but I can't get up without help. And I'm two— soon to be three— weeks past my due date. And I'm really scared that somethings going to go wrong or something has already gone wrong and we don't know. And I'm scared that I'm going to be a horrible parent." Sirius starts to cry.

James stops them on the landing between the stairs to the first floor and the stairs to the second. He quickly wraps Sirius up into a tight hug, which he has to lean forwards for, otherwise his stomach gets in the way.

"Shh, shh. Just breathe, Sirius," James comforts, rocking them back and forth slightly.

"And everyone keeps telling me to breathe!" Sirius exclaims through his tears.

"I know. I know you don't like being told what to do constantly. But it's really important, love. Come on, I'll do it with you."

Sirius takes in a deep, shaky breath, James following along with him, then lets it go. He does it again.

"There you are," James praises, in a way that doesn't make Sirius feel like a child. "I know you, Sirius. So that's why I know that you're going to be the most amazing father in the world. Maybe not as good as me, but a close second."

Sirius laughs and immediately sobers up, his small frown coming back. "What if I'm like my mum?" Sirius whispers, beginning to shake just from the thought.

"You won't. You won't and you saying that just proves it. You are nothing like her and you never will be."

"Promise?" Sirius hugs him tighter.

"Promise."

They stand there until James is sure Sirius is alright. "You good now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

They continue their way down the stairs, eventually coming back up once they reach the ground floor.

"Please tell me you've got a name picked out."

"Course we have."

"Then why haven't you told me?" James clutches at his heart. "I told you!"

"That's because, my dear friend," Sirius bops James' nose. "You can't keep a secret."

"I don't like keeping secrets from you."

"Aw, Prongsy," Sirius coos. "You really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"Stella."

"You're having a girl?" James' eyes shine with wonder. 

"Yeah, you're going to have a little niece soon."

"Middle name?"

"Um, well," Sirius looks down at his sock-covered-feet, "we were thinking... Euphemia. Do you think she'll mind?"

"'Mind'? Sirius, she'll be honored. Mum'll probably pass out when she hears."

"Really?"

"Of course. She loves you. More then me, I think. Stella Euphemia Potter. That's a good name, Sirius."

"Potter?"

"What else would it be? Certainly not Black."

"Um, Lupin?"

"You're getting married?" James face lights up with excitement. 

"No. Well, maybe. I don't know, we haven't talked about it. But we will. Probably. It'd just make more sense to name the baby Lupin. I haven't gotten my name changed, and it would be weird for us all to have different last names. Maybe I can hyphenate it. Potter-Lupin? Lupin-Potter?"

"I like Potter-Lupin better," James offers.

"Me too."

"Well, if you're giving the baby the last name Potter, that means you have to change yours too."

"Really?"

"Yes, you wanker. When are you going to get that we want you to have the same last name as us?"

"Never," Sirius laughs.

James is almost able to convince him by the time they get back to the flat. He leaves not too long after they finish eating the food, eager to get home to his wife and newborn baby.

That night, after Sirius climbs into bed after getting up for the third time to pee, Remus kisses him goodnight. He wraps Sirius in his arms and for the first time in weeks, goes to sleep without an anxiety about what's to come.

Sirius wakes suddenly with a sharp pain in his lower stomach. He feels a dampness in his boxers and the bed.

"Shit, shit. Remus! Remus, wake up!" He slaps Remus on the back, moving his hand to tap at his face until his eyes shoot open. 

Remus sits up. "Yeah, I'm awake, I'm awake."

"I think my water broke."

Remus rushes to get out of bed, stumbling to the floor. "Okay, okay. Shit! Alright." He grabs the bag they packed for the hospital and looks around for his shoes in the dark.

"No, Remus, not yet. Molly said— Oh, ow, ow, ow!"

Remus drops the bag as he hurries to Sirius' side as he gasps in pain. Sirius reaches out to squeeze his hand. 

"She said," Sirius sighs, "that we don't have to go the hospital until contractions are five minutes apart."

"You sure?" Remus asks. 

"Yeah, I don't want to be there any longer than I have too."

"Do you want to get changed while we wait?"

"Ew, yeah. I don't want to be covered in baby juice. Did I get any on you?"

"I don't think so," Remus says as he gets clothes from the dresser. 

"Your shirt's wet."

Remus looks down. "Oh. I'll change it then."

Sirius doesn't even bother getting up to change. He just pushes his hips up so Remus can get his clothes on.

"Should I change the sheets?" 

Sirius looks at the mess on the bed. "Probably. Help me to the couch first?"

Remus helps him up and they start their way to the living room, stopping as another contraction hits.

"How far apart was that one?" Sirius asks, lowering himself onto the couch.

"About six minutes."

Remus goes back to their room to change the sheets. Sirius sits on the couch feeling strangely calm. Remus comes back just as a contraction comes. He drops the bag on the coffee table.

"Can you call James?" Sirius asks once the pain lessens. 

"'Course, Pads." Remus fishes his phone out and calls James.

The phone is halfway through the third ring as James answers. Remus turns it on to speaker.

"I'm on my way," James says.

"James, no!" Sirius exclaims. Remus rolls his eyes. "How many times have we've been over this? We call you once my water breaks, on your instance. You stay home. We call you again later, you come."

"The thing is, Sirius, is that I'm already heading towards the car."

"We're not even at the hospital yet! James Fleamont Potter, if you get there before us I will hold this baby in until it becomes a massive medical problem for all four of us."

"Please do not do that," James pleads.

"Then please don't show up to the hospital before we tell you to. I'll have you banished to the waiting room," Sirius says smugly. 

They hear James sigh and the closing of a door, then the sound of a body hitting a couch.

"Fine."

"How'd you even know what we were calling about?" Remus asks.

"Why else would you be calling at three in the morning?"

"We could've been— Ow! Shit." Sirius grips the phone tightly. Remus rubs his hands soothingly.

"Contraction?" James asks, an edge in his voice. "How far apart have they've been?"

"Six minutes," Remus answers.

"Go to the hospital when they get five minutes apart."

"I know!" Sirius groans. "Distract me, talk about something."

"James, how's Harry?" Remus asks.

"Well—"

They talk until Sirius' contractions become five minutes apart. 

"Alright, James, we're going to the hospital now," Remus says. 

"I'll leave now!"

"No, leave in an hour."

"Do I have to?"

"James!" Sirius suddenly exclaims.

"Right. Sorry, Pads. I'll see you in an hour. Love you."

"Love you too."

Remus hangs up and slips his phone into his pocket. He hoists the bag over his shoulder. He lifts Sirius up and leads them to the door. Remus is carrying practically Sirius' entire weight as he slumps into him.

"We're having a baby!"

"Okay," Sirius groans. "I'm ready to push now."

"You're only five centimeters dilated, honey. We need to get you to ten, then you can push," Molly tells him apologetically. 

"Five? If I dilate anymore my vaginas gonna rip in half."

Molly chuckles, "It's not. Trust me, dear. I've had six kids and nothing's ever ripped in half."

"Six? Are you insane? Why would you do this more than once?"

"You'll find out soon." Molly smiles as she pats his leg.

Sirius turns to Remus. "Stella will be fine on her own. She doesn't need a sibling."

"Whatever you want, love."

"No, it's not what I want, Remus. It's what Stella wants. And she told be she doesn't want me to get ripped in half again."

"She'll be fine. Look at me, I'm an only child, I came out fine."

"Ow!" Sirius exclaims, a contraction hitting him. "I hate you! Why'd you do this to me?" Sirius squeezes Remus' hand as the pain washes over him. "Sorry, I don't mean that. It's just really bloody hurts."

"It's okay, Sirius, do whatever you want to distract yourself from the pain."

"Get Effie, I need Effie," Sirius begs, eyes filling with tears.

"I'll call her," Remus promises.

He shoves his phone to his ear as her number dials. Like James, she picks up quick. 

"Is the baby here?"

Remus chuckles; the Potters have been ignoring greetings all morning. "No, not yet. Sirius is only five centimeters dilated. But he wants you here. He needs you."

"I'm leaving now. Fleamont, hurry up! We'll be there soon. Tell Sirius I'm on my way."

"Okay, I will."

"See you soon, love."

"See you."

"Is she coming?" Sirius asks nervously, chewing at his nail.

"She's on her way and will be here soon."

True to her word, Euphemia gets there quick. Flying into the room just over twenty minutes after the phone call ended. 

"Mom," Sirius cries the moment he sees her. 

Euphemia rushes across the room, sitting on the bed besides Sirius. "Oh, my little star," she hums as Sirius' launches himself into her arms. She rocks them back and forth as she rubs his back. 

"How much does it hurt, baby?"

Sirius shrugs. "Not that bad," he lies.

Euphemia looks at him skeptically. "You've always been strong, my son. It's okay to be in pain."

"It hurts," Sirius whimpers.

"I know," she sympathies. 

Sirius squeezes his eyes shut as a contraction washes over him. He grips the back of Euphemia's shirt tightly. 

"Mom," he whines.

"I'm right here, love," she soothes.

Remus comes over to sit on Sirius' other side, offering his hand out for him to take.

"Sirius, do you want to tell her what we're naming the baby?" Remus asks, trying to distract him from the pain.

Sirius nods his head jerkily, keeping his eyes shut tight.

Remus turns to Euphemia. "We're naming her Stella."

"Oh, what a beautiful name," she squeals, "my first granddaughter! I've left Fleamont with a small box of clothes for her for when you leave the hospital."

"Her middle name," Sirius pants, eyes squinting open, "is gonna be Euphemia."

Euphemia's eyes light up and her jaw drops, she looks exactly like James for a moment.

"Oh, honey," she sighs. "Thank you, I am so honored."

"See, Sirius," Remus says. "I told you she wouldn't mind."

"Why would I mind?" Euphemia asks, eyes turning towards Sirius.

Sirius blushes under her gaze. "I'd just thought I'd save it for James' kid, you know, since he's your actual son."

Euphemia grabs Sirius face and holds him gently. "You are my actual son, my baby star."

"Really?" Sirius looks up at her hopefully.

"Of course, since the moment James introduced you."

Euphemia wipes away his tears as Sirius starts to cry.

"Where's Monty?" Sirius asks once he's calmed down.

"I left him with James to distract him."

"Naturally," Remus says.

"You know him. The boy gets one idea in his head and he just has to go and do it. He wanted to come up and see you but I didn't want you to get overwhelmed."

Sirius laughs, which slowly turns into a yawn.

Euphemia pulls Sirius' blanket up to his chin. He closes his eyes as she brushes his hair back to kiss his forehead. "Try to sleep."

She moves to the other side of the bed, forcing Remus under the blanket as well. "You too, Remus."

Remus smiles at her. "Okay, Mrs. Potter."

"Effie," she corrects as she tucks them in.

"Okay, Effie."

She pats them both on the leg and starts for the door.

"Where're you going?" Sirius asks, an eye peeled open to watch her. 

"To try to stop James before he implodes. Get your rest, my sweets."

Sirius wakes up to an empty hospital bed besides him. He winces as he opens his eyes to the finally risen sun shining through the window.

He looks over to see Remus on the chair next to him, watching over him as he sleeps.

Molly comes in before either of them have a chance to speak.

"Oh, good," she says. "You got some rest."

Sirius props his legs up so he can check how far along he's gotten, used to their small routine they've created by now.

"You're eight centimeters dilated now, dear."

Remus sits up in his seat. "Really?"

"Yes, we'll be getting ready to start pushing soon." She leaves the room quietly as they sit there stunned.

"Holy shit," Remus says. "It's about to happen."

"Finally," Sirius sighs. 

Molly comes back in about half an hour to check again. "Nine centimeters, honey."

Sirius feels strangely calm about the fact that he's going to be meeting his baby very soon.

The next time Molly comes in, she announces that he's ten centimeters dilated. She calls in two nurses and they start to prepare the room for delivery.

"Next contraction, you're going to push," Molly tells him.

"Already?" Sirius asks, fear in his voice, his anxiety coming back full force. 

"You've got this, love," Remus encourages into his ear.

Sirius feels pain wash over him, as well as a rush of fear.

"Push!" Molly exclaims.

Sirius squeezes Remus' hand so hard that he thinks he might break it. He grits his teeth and pushes.

The contraction ends and Sirius slumps back with a groan.

"I can't do this," Sirius says, voice wavering, eyes starting to water.

"Yes, you can," Remus says.

"No, I can't. I can't." Sirius starts to cry, his tears running down his face quickly.

Remus wipes his tears away with his free hand, then he holds his cheek. "Yes, you can, Sirius, I know you can do it."

"Push!"

Sirius sits up with a painful shout as he pushes with all his might.

"The heads coming out!"

A piercing cry fills the room. 

Sirius slaps Remus' arm. "Remus! Go look!"

Remus leans forward to catch a glimpse of their daughter. "Oh, Sirius, she's so beautiful."

"One more push, Sirius," Molly instructs.

Sirius pushes with a new found vigor, his anxiety replaced by an urgency to see his baby.

"It's a girl!" Molly announces.

Sirius collapses into the bed. Remus leans down to kiss him on the cheek. He presses their foreheads together. "You did so good, love. I'm so proud of you."

Sirius gasps through a sob as his daughter is placed on his chest for the first time. He kisses the top of her head. "She's so tiny," he says breathlessly.

Remus goes to stroke her face, but Stella reaches out to hold his finger in her tiny, little hand.

"She's perfect," Remus whispers, tears streaming down his face.

Once Stella— and Sirius— is cleaned off and swaddled, Sirius continues to unbundle her again and again to count her tiny limbs.

"She's got all her fingers, Sirius," Remus says from besides him as he sits on the bed. 

"I'm counting her toes. I just want to make sure, is all."

"I'm pretty sure she's got all her toes and fingers."

"Not if someone eats them." Sirius lifts Stella's tiny fist to his mouth to pretend to bite on them. 

She begins to cry, making Sirius' stomach turn in guilt. 

"Oh, Sirius, see what you did." Remus strokes her soft baby hair to soothe her. "It's okay, baby, daddy didn't really eat your fingers," Remus coos at her.

"She's just hungry," Sirius says, hoping he's right and he didn't already traumatize their baby. He pulls down his gown and latches Stella on so he can breastfeed. He looks down at her eating greedily and smiles smugly at Remus. 

"See?" Her hand comes to rest in a tiny fist on his chest and it's so adorable Sirius wants to melt.

Remus doesn't respond. He's got that look in his eyes again. The one that makes Sirius feel like Remus is looking at him like he's his whole world.

"Marry me?" Remus asks suddenly. He doesn't cover his mouth in shock like he didn't mean to say that, he just looks at Sirius with a question on his face.

"What?" Sirius asks, sure he misheard.

"Marry me?" Remus repeats.

"Yes. I'll marry you, Remus." Sirius pauses. "Not here though, right?"

"Of course not," Remus scoffs. "Someday. Whenever the time is right."

"Someday," Sirius repeats, voice barely above a whisper.

Stella unlatches with a content sigh. Sirius lifts her up to eye level. "Hear that, Stells? Me and papa are getting married!"

She stares at them blankly. They both laugh, pulling her close to place kisses on her.

Their sweet, perfect baby.