Chapter Text
Somehow, Wilbur had ended up in a situation where he was arguing with god. Honestly not surprising considering the man’s track record for generally being a nuisance.
Usually not to this degree, but it’s fine because his mom was handling it. As it turned out, having the grim reaper as a parent was a very helpful advantage. It was probably the only way he survived high school. The only inconvenience was that those other kids did not.
However, this method did not quite work with god xemself. A shame.
“Look, XD,” Kristin put a hand on XD’s shoulder. Xey moved away uncomfortably. “I don’t think you should punish Wilbur too harshly for this either, he can be a bit- ehh, impulsive sometimes, this was a minor offense-” “Kristin, he drew a dick and balls on my fucking church.”
XD gestured to Wilbur before crossing xeir arms. One set of them anyways. Another set had its hands on xeir hips, yet another was holding Wilbur (who, not being a deity, was about 5x smaller than them, it was like holding a hamster), and the last was holding its hands behind XD’s back.
“In my defense it was a very good drawing.” Wilbur chimed in, barely heard by the gods from where he was in XD’s hands. Xey considered him for a moment before shifting him in xeir grip, so that one hand was free. Wilbur wriggled a bit, the hold he was in was incredibly uncomfortable.
XD snapped xeir fingers and set Wilbur down on the ground. “There. Consider that your punishment.” Xey informed him before logging off. He felt an odd shift, like something about him was different. It looked like Kristin had logged off too.
He woke up in his bed, like he always did after seeing any of the gods in their nonhuman forms, but the disturbance was still there.
He ran his tongue around his upper row of teeth and found his canines were sharper, and upon reaching a hand up to touch them, he noticed his nails were sharper too. Not much longer than usual, considering he refused to cut them.
At first he thought XD had turned him into a vampire. But no. No, that was too cool of a punishment. XD wouldn’t do something that dumb.
There was one other option though. He reached up to touch his ears. They weren’t on the sides of his head. He touched the top of his head. Yup, he’s a cat.
He silently thanked XD for this. He’d always kinda wanted to be a cat. Not a hybrid like this, but it was close enough.
Presumably, he had a tail, too. This was so cool. But also.. Incredibly inconvenient.
He needed to like, buy shit for himself. Scratching posts n stuff. He could not afford that.
He did, however, know someone who could.
He grinned, hopping out of bed and getting himself dressed for another long day of nothing but his favourite activity: being a pain in everyone’s ass.