Archive of Our Own

He felt guilty about it, but as soon as Sasaki saw that there was a paper sign taped to the door of the theater, he got his hopes up that there was something wrong, and they could go back home instead. 

It wasn't that he minded going to the movie with Miyano, of course. If their time together wasn't so fleeting, he'd be perfectly happy about how he was going to spend the next couple hours. And he was happy; but as it was, when they only had so much time with one another, it probably wasn't what he would choose to do with that time. 

If it was up to him, and he was being selfish, they wouldn't have left Miyano’s apartment.

He had shown up early to surprise him; the plan had been to just meet at the theater, but he caught Miyano on his way out the door instead. 

"I figured this way, I get to spend an extra thirty minutes with you," he'd told Miyano. He hadn't been able to read the expression that passed over his face when he said that to him, but then Miyano took him by the hand and led him to his room, barely giving Sasaki time to self-consciously glance around them for any sign of Miyano's parents. 

"We... have a little while before the showtime, so..." Miyano had said, letting go of his hand once they were standing right beside his bed. He had put both hands on Sasaki's chest, then, looking up at him with a bashfulness that belied how eager he had been in dragging him to his bedroom. 

Sasaki pulled Miyano off of his tiptoes and up into his arms. He hadn't meant for Miyano to hop up and wrap both legs around his waist, but it happened so easily that it felt like a choreographed, pre-planned action. He smiled as their lips met, falling back onto the bed with care so as not to ruin the moment by jostling too much and bumping their teeth together.

He also hadn't meant to grab Miyano’s butt in the process of all that. Miyano had leapt into his arms and Sasaki had caught him; it was as simple as that. There hadn't been time to think about being a gentleman. Neither one of them seemed to process it at first; then he had felt Miyano freeze, and Sasaki realized all at once.

"S-sorry, that— wasn't on purpose or anything, you just caught me off guard," he'd said, holding his hands up. He couldn't actually tell if Miyano minded or not; he didn't know what the rules for this were. Palming Miyano's ass through his pants was much less obscene than some of the other things they'd been doing lately, but it would be careless of him, he thought, to assume it was okay when it wasn't something he had done before. 

"It's okay... I... don't actually mind," Miyano had said, his voice small and his tone confessional. He had sat up, joining hands with Sasaki as he blushed furiously down at his chest, avoiding eye contact.

As much as he would have liked to, he hadn't had the willpower to ask him if he was sure. He didn't have a good reason not to take him at his word; he knew Miyano could stand up for himself when he needed to, even if it wasn't the easiest thing for him to do. To an extent, though, all of that was immaterial. He hated the thought of being someone Miyano ever needed to stand up to in the first place. 

"Hehe, it's squishier than I thought it'd be," Sasaki had commented, squeezing his ass with both hands. It was nice, he thought; there was something immediately satisfying about the way each cheek filled his palm.

"Sheesh, Sasaki–"

"What? Didn't say I didn't like it~"

And then Miyano had leaned back down and kissed him again, possibly just to shut him up. If so, Sasaki wouldn't have minded one bit.

At some point in the minutes that followed, they rolled over so that their positions were reversed. With Miyano beneath him and their fingers laced together atop the bedspread, he basically had his lover captive. He realized that, like coming to his senses, only when Miyano squeezed his hand twice in short succession, as he sometimes did to get his attention when they were making out. 

"Sorry, I... shouldn't pin you down like that."

Miyano had blinked up at him for a moment before answering. "Oh, is that what you're doing? I just thought we were holding hands."

Sasaki felt like he was going to choke on his own heart at that. "I dunno, I wasn't thinking... I hope it didn't seem... aggressive, or anything..." 

"Of course not, what are you saying...?" Miyano had said, reaching up to stroke his hair. "I was just going to say we should probably get going... you bought those tickets, after all..."

He'd turned his wrist so as to check the time on his watch and reluctantly agreed, despite how little appeal the world beyond Miyano’s bed held for him at that moment.

Miyano wanted to see this movie, so that's what they were going to do. 

Or so he thought. He trailed behind Miyano as they approached the door, letting him be the one to appraise the situation. 

"Oh, wow, it's closed?" Miyano said, reading the sign taped to the glass. "Apparently something went wrong with the plumbing and the restrooms flooded."

"Whoa..." Sasaki said, trying to keep his voice even so as to mask the guilty sense of hope and relief he felt. "Well, that's unlucky."

"Yeah, no kidding," Miyano said, scanning the smaller text at the bottom of the sign. "But it says unscanned tickets for the affected showings will be automatically refunded within a few days, so that's good, at least."

"Well, sorry, Miya. I guess we'll have to see it another time," he said, guiltily scratching the back of his head. "I know you were looking forward to this... I hope it's not too much of a letdown."

"It's okay," Miyano said, smiling up at him. "What's important is that we're on a date. We can just do something else together."

"R-right..." Sasaki said, trying to keep his expression neutral so as not to betray what kind of “something else” he was thinking about.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Uhm." Sasaki said, stalling. It was a struggle to think of anything with the way Miyano was so adorably bouncing on the balls of his feet. He was wearing a hooded t-shirt, zipped to the top, his movements causing the little silver ring attached to the zipper to sway back and forth. Sasaki couldn't keep his eyes off of it for very long. It was tantalizing, all the more so because he couldn't tell if there was another layer beneath it or not. 

"I think I saw a cafe or two across from the park we passed on the way from the station," Miyano prompted, oblivious to Sasaki's inner turmoil. "We could head back that way and see if they look any good?"

"Yeah, sure... I could eat," Sasaki admitted. Miyano nodded his head in cheerful assent, took him by the hand, and started leading him back the way they had come, and he felt his spirits begin to lift. 

The return journey was a pleasant one; it was the first nice day after a series of grey, overcast afternoons, and Miyano chattered the whole way back to the park. All was going well, until, paying too much attention to Miyano and not enough to his surroundings, a low-hanging tree branch caused Sasaki to stumble and then slip, twisting around awkwardly to land on his hip in a big, watery mud puddle just off the edge of the walkway. 

“A-are you okay?!” Miyano asked in horror, crouching down beside him and reaching out to help him stand. 

“...Yeah, I’m fine,” Sasaki said sulkily, wiping the dirt from the hand he had used to catch his fall onto the leg of his pants. 

“Wow, tall people have it rough,” Miyano said. “I’ve never had to worry about walking into a tree branch before.”

“Pretty sure I’m just an idiot,” Sasaki sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s just bad luck, Sasaki.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s going around...”

“Let’s just go back to my place and you can get cleaned up. You’ll probably want a hot shower by then... I wish it was closer,” Miyano said, fretting. “We can figure out something to eat later.”

“‘Wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t in my hair,” Sasaki grumbled, still feeling rather pathetic. 

Miyano gave him a sympathetic smile and took his hand again, leading him towards the train station. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you fixed up.”

The train ride home was mostly quiet. Although there was plenty of room for both of them to sit, Sasaki stayed on his feet to spare the upholstery of the seats, and Miyano stood beside him in solidarity. It was uncommon for them to separately drift into their own thoughts when they were together like this, but the relative silence wasn’t uncomfortable, and Miyano wasn’t in a hurry to fill it. He surmised that Sasaki probably wasn’t in the best mood and could likely benefit from a little peace and quiet, which was understandable. 

But the quiet gave Miyano space to think, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. By the time they got back to his apartment, he was buzzing with anxiety, so deep in his thoughts that he was startled by the sound of Sasaki’s voice.

Sasaki blinked down at him, surprised by the way Miyano had flinched. “Sorry- uhm, are your parents still out...?”

Miyano nodded, resolute in keeping his eyes fixed on the key turning in the lock as he opened the door in front of them, rather than looking at Sasaki. “Yes,” he said evenly. “They’ll... be out all night, actually.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Miyano said, voice a little croaky as he stepped out of his shoes. “My dad has this meeting in Kyoto early tomorrow morning, and he actually took my mom with him because the hotel is really nice, I guess, and, yeah.”

The hair on the back of his neck was standing up; he could feel Sasaki’s eyes on him as he hung up his jacket. 

“So... we’ve got privacy,” Sasaki said, like he couldn’t quite believe it. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“I didn’t know how to broach the subject,” Miyano lamented. “It felt really... forward, or something...”

Sasaki huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I’m scandalized,” he said, stepping into Miyano’s space with a sly smile. 

“And to be honest... I was afraid that if I brought it up before... we wouldn’t have actually made it to the movie,” Miyano said, the heat in his cheeks burning hotter with the admission. “And you’re the one who bought the tickets, so I didn’t want your money to go to waste.”

“I mean, they were only ¥3400,” Sasaki said. “I’d forgotten all about them until you brought it up the other week.”

“¥3400 is plenty! Really, what kind of economics major are you?” 

“Hey, it’s less than we’d spend at a love hotel, so it’s not bad for a night alone,” Sasaki said. “Besides... there’s a lot of things more important than money.”

Miyano’s heart was in his throat. Sasaki was watching him with hazy eyes as he toyed with the zipper pull hanging from the collar of his shirt, spinning the metal ring affixed to it around slim fingers; even the incidental brush of Sasaki’s knuckles against his sternum held so much promise that Miyano found himself struggling for air. It was too much. He seized Sasaki by the shoulders and pushed him back to a distance that felt safer, floundering for a way to ease the tension of the moment. “W-w-what’s important right now is that you get that shower s-so you can warm up! So...!”

“...Right,” Sasaki said, doing his best to spare Miyano’s pride by stifling his laughter. “I’ll go ahead and get on that.”

Miyano grabbed Sasaki’s hand as he started towards the bathroom. “N-no, I mean...”

“Hm?”

Miyano took a deep breath. “What I mean is... I’ll join you.”

Sasaki’s eyes widened, slowly but extensively, as he somehow managed to stumble while standing still. “...In the...?”

"In the shower.”

"At... at the same time as me?”

"Yes. Unless... you don't want–?”

"No no, I– that's– fine, it’s- good,” Sasaki sputtered, cheeks burning.

Miyano gave another stiff nod. Despite that they were in agreement, neither one of them took any action for a long moment; they seemed frozen in place where they were, staring at one another from across the hallway, both their hearts pounding. Finally, he cleared his throat and awkwardly waved at Sasaki in an odd gesture he wouldn’t have been able to explain, or even replicate, if asked. "I'll go get some fresh towels, then."

"Okay. I'll be here."

"Yeah, go ahead," Miyano said. "I'll be right back."

“Okay. I’ll... go now. To the shower,” Sasaki said, still looking at him as if he had just been beamed down from a UFO.

Miyano set off down the hall to the washer and dryer and perused the selection of neatly folded towels stacked up on the wire shelves above them. He hesitated, jittery, trying to choose the most appealing colors and patterns even as he felt silly for giving the matter a second thought. Rationally, he knew that it was a ridiculous thing to worry about, and that Sasaki was unlikely to comment on towels in the midst of a situation such as the one they were about to be in, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted everything to be perfect, or at least as close to it as he could manage. 

Sasaki didn’t deserve anything less. 

He strode back to the washroom with his selection of towels, steeling himself for what he was about to see and what was coming next. But when he opened the door, Sasaki was still fully dressed, and just as coated in mud as before, looking at him with a startled and sheepish expression, like he was being caught in the midst of doing something wrong. They blinked at one another for a long moment, neither one speaking, and then the humor of the situation overwhelmed them both and they began laughing at their own awkwardness.

“I thought you were already gonna be undressed! I was out there getting myself ready for it...” Miyano said between fits of laughter.

“I’m sorry! I just kinda spaced, and then… there you were!” Sasaki replied, still giggling.

Miyano wiped away the tears from his eyes as his laughter calmed. “You shouldn’t stay in those wet clothes any longer than you have to, silly,” he said, setting the towels down on the counter. He reached out to begin tenderly undoing Sasaki’s shirt buttons. “What am I gonna do with you...?”

“...A lot, I hope.”

“Hm?”

Sasaki cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool. “...I hope... you’ll do a lot with me.”

Having unfastened all the buttons on Sasaki’s shirt, Miyano slid his hands beneath the parted fabric and pushed both it and his jacket down off of his shoulders in one go. As they fell to the floor, Sasaki made quick work of hauling his t-shirt up off his head, which briefly obscured his vision. When he met Miyano’s bright tawny eyes again, something in the air had shifted. The laughter had been a balm to both their nerves, and suddenly, everything felt easy; instinct was finally able to win out over inhibition.

Miyano pulled Sasaki forward by his belt loops, lifting up onto his toes to connect their lips in a sloppy kiss as he fumbled at the taller man’s zipper. At the same time, Sasaki’s hands went to the hem of Miyano’s top; he tugged on it with a questioning hum, and Miyano responded with an eager nod. The fact that Miyano’s shirt had a zipper on the front had been entirely forgotten; the garment was merely peeled off and flung onto the growing pile of clothing at their feet. The undershirt beneath it was given the same treatment in short order, temporarily interrupting Miyano’s efforts to pull Sasaki’s pants off. 

The feeling of open air against his now bared chest began to stir up Miyano’s self-consciousness again, but it was soon replaced by the warmth of Sasaki’s body pressed tightly to him. By the time they had stumbled almost in to the shower in the process of trying to disrobe while locked at the lips, though, they were both down to nothing but their underwear, and Miyano couldn’t help but hesitate. 

Noticing his trepidation, Sasaki reached out to tuck a few disheveled strands of hair behind Miyano’s ear. “You okay?”

“...Yes,” Miyano said, smiling before he rose up onto his toes again and held Sasaki’s face in both hands to kiss him. When the man’s eyes fell obediently shut as their lips met, Miyano took the opportunity to steer him into the shower, clumsily stripping him of his boxers as his back bumped up against the tiles. Finally, he stepped out of his own, as well, almost stumbling off-balance were it not for Sasaki’s hold on him as they struggled to keep on kissing despite all the movement.

Miyano’s heart was hammering in his chest. He had crowded into Sasaki’s space to the point that their bodies were pressed flush to one another; like this, Sasaki couldn’t really see him. Nonetheless, when they finally broke their kiss long enough to breathe, Sasaki was smiling at him like he was proud, and Miyano’s heart ached. 

I love him so much, Miyano thought. His eyes scanned Sasaki’s face, and a dried smear of mud above his left eyebrow reoriented him to the task at hand. Right... Showering.

He took a breath and reached out to turn on the water, not thinking clearly enough to consider that it always came out freezing cold at first, and they were right in the line of fire. They both shrieked as the icy spray suddenly pelted them, instinctively squeezing one another tighter to try and share warmth until the water heated up.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking-”

“It’s fine, I’ll live,” Sasaki laughed. “Little bit distracted, were ya?”

“...Yeah,” Miyano admitted, letting out a deep breath as the water finally warmed to a comfortable temperature. “There, that’s better.”

“It’s- really hot now, actually,” Sasaki said, wincing.

“Oh, really?” Miyano asked, reaching over to adjust the knob and watching as Sasaki visibly relaxed as the water temperature lowered. “I usually have it about that hot. Sorry, I should have been more careful...”

“Wow, you’re made of tough stuff, Miya,” Sasaki said.

“Hardly...” Miyano said. The shower had rapidly filled with steam, and was so small that they had to crowd together; these factors made him feel less exposed than he otherwise might, and allayed his nerves. He reached up to push Sasaki’s hair back and fully into the spray, watching the mud that had been caked to his temple dissolve and rinse away. “Want me to wash it?”

“...Sure.”

Miyano nodded, chewing his lip as he reached for the bottle of shampoo and squirted a small amount into his palm, hoping Sasaki didn’t notice the way his hands were shaking. 

“Should I lean down, or...?”

“No, I can reach,” Miyano said. He rubbed his hands together to lather up the shampoo and reached out to massage it into Sasaki’s scalp; Sasaki slouched forward anyway, meeting him halfway, because he couldn’t help himself.

Hardly anything had even happened yet, but already, their breathing was hard and loud; Miyano could barely hear the small noises of pleasure Sasaki let out at his touch, but even if he couldn’t, the man’s cock twitching against his stomach would make his enjoyment of the experience quite clear. His own dick responded in turn, nudging Sasaki’s thigh as it stiffened further. Laughter bubbled up from Sasaki’s throat at the chain reaction, and Miyano blushed. “Don’t laugh,” Miyano said, even as he started giggling too.

“Sorry, I’m just glad it isn’t only me.”

“Of course it’s not... hey, keep your eyes shut or you’ll get shampoo in them,” Miyano chided. 

“Hehe, ‘kay.”

Miyano did his best to focus on washing him, on taking care of him, but distractions abounded. Sasaki was clinging to him, just standing there holding him with his head leaned down to rest on his shoulder, and Miyano could feel exactly how each new touch affected him. The confined space afforded their bodies no secrets from one another, creating a feedback loop of pleasured grunts, ragged gasps, and happy murmurs, to the point that it became difficult to discern who was making which sounds, their perceptions fogging up like the shower glass.

Finally, Sasaki pulled away just a little, pushing a wet curtain of hair back off of his forehead so he could see Miyano more easily. The inquisitive look in Miyano’s eyes told Sasaki that he could tell that he was trying to work up the courage to say something, but words felt slippery in his mind. 

That was alright, though, because Miyano was patient. 

As patient as he was beautiful. 

His soaked hair looked dark as ink where it clung to his cherubic face; he was flush-faced and doe-eyed, periodically glancing up at him to offer assurance that he was still listening. He was lean without being angular or sharp-edged; somewhat slight, but not so fragile-looking or bony that Sasaki’s appreciation of his beauty was dampened by concern. 

(Miyano could probably stand to eat a little more, sure, but it probably wasn’t concern that made Sasaki’s thoughts turn to feeding him at that moment, and it definitely wasn’t what summoned the image of his lips closing around a chocolate-dipped strawberry to his mind’s eye.)

It would have to be dark chocolate, though, he thought. Miyano cocked his head to the side, as if he had read his mind and heard that thought in isolation, devoid of context, and Sasaki cleared his throat, trying to focus again. “Hey, so, since we have plenty of time after this and all, would you want to, uhm... try doing what we talked about? On the phone?”

Miyano’s eyes widened as the meaning of the words dawned on him, and his shoulders tensed. Until now, Sasaki had more or less honored his request that the contents of that particular phone call not be spoken of. 

“You said... you wanted to be inside me,” Sasaki said. “Do you still want that?”

Miyano nodded, too breathless to speak. 

“I want that, too,” Sasaki said, taking Miyano’s hand and holding it to his face. “I’m always feeling like... no matter how close I am to you, I want to get closer... like it’s never enough... Do... you ever feel that way, too?”

“Yes,” Miyano said. “Yes, I do... but, I- I don’t know if I can- make it good... I don’t really know what I’m doing...”

“We’ll figure it out,” Sasaki murmured, unconcerned, letting his lips brush Miyano’s cheek as he spoke.

“Well I mean... I know it’s not good to just, uhm, go...” said Miyano. 

“Hm?”

“In BL you see a lot of… uhm… just… shoving it…. in?”

“Ohhhh, yeah. I’ve noticed that,” Sasaki said.

“And it looks like it hurts-”

“Or they even say it hurts-” Sasaki added, interrupting.

“Right! It’s better in the ones where they, uhm-”

“Loosen ‘em up first, right?” Sasaki said, making obscene motions with his fingers. 

“...Exactly,” Miyano said, blushing. 

“So we gotta streeeeeeetch me out-”

“Sasaki, please, ” Miyano said, mortified by his bluntness.

Sasaki only laughed. “Y’know, if we’re doing this, it’s probably about time commit to calling me by my given name.”

“...You’ve got a point,” Miyano said. “But, uhm, as far as... getting you ready... Can I... help?”

“...I’d love that.”

Miyano’s heart leapt in his chest, a giddy rush of excitement flowing through his body and urging him forward into embracing Sasaki with collision-like force. He threw his arms around Sasaki’s neck and Sasaki caught him easily, splaying his hands across the small of Miyano’s back as their lips met. He shivered at the sound of the quiet, pleasured hum Sasaki let out, as he so often did when they kissed, like he was tasting something good. 

When they broke apart, Sasaki handed Miyano the bottle of shampoo; Miyano took it, but tilted his head to the side, uncomprehending.

“You can... use it like lube?” Sasaki offered, a pink glow settling on his cheeks. 

“Eh?! Is that really okay?!” Miyano said, eyes wide with alarm. “I know that happens in BL sometimes, but...”

Sasaki scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I mean, I’ve done it, and I’m okay...”

Miyano almost dropped the bottle. “You... you have?”

“Well... yeah. I’ve been wanting to do this, so...”

By now, the water was becoming lukewarm, and Miyano had intended to get out of the shower before things escalated to this point, but he couldn’t wait any longer, not when Sasaki was telling him not to. Miyano flipped the cap on the bottle open and drizzled shampoo onto his fingers, unconcerned with the amount that fell wasted to the floor due to the fact that he wouldn’t take his eyes off Sasaki. He couldn’t, not when he was looking so debauched already, flushed crimson and hiding a nervous smile behind his hand.

I can’t believe he’s like this, just for me, Miyano thought, still watching his lover as he knelt down in front of him. He could see Sasaki’s chest starting to heave with heavy breaths already as he widened his stance, spreading his legs farther apart as Miyano reached up between them without even needing to be asked, and his clear eagerness made Miyano’s dick throb. 

Miyano took a deep breath, leaning his forehead against Sasaki’s thigh and pressing a kiss to it as he tried to clear his head for a moment. “Tell me if anything’s not-” 

Sasaki nodded, urging him on; it was clear to Miyano that he was thinking “I know, get on with it,” but was too sweet to say so. Or maybe he was just too horny for words. From the looks of his cock, standing like a monument parallel to his stomach, that seemed plausible. Miyano chuckled, kissing his leg again in the same spot as before and feeling the muscle quiver beneath his lips as his fingertip first brushed Sasaki’s entrance. 

Miyano felt Sasaki’s whole body tense for a moment, then begin to slowly relax when he looked up at him and their eyes met again. He stroked the puckered hole with utmost care, taking his time before he applied even the slightest pressure, to the point that Sasaki began to squirm impatiently, shifting on his feet and flexing his toes against the tile floor. Miyano gulped and at last let his fingertip dip inside of him; they both gasp. 

The way Sasaki’s cock jumped the instant he was penetrated was one of the hottest things Miyano had ever seen in his life, and he felt his own dick drool at the sight. Sasaki was hot on the inside and clamping down on his finger like a vice. Nonetheless, Miyano soon heard him choke out, “K-keep going.”

And so he did, pressing his finger past the resistance as slowly and gently as he could. It got easier the deeper he went, and he soon had one finger fully buried inside of him. He was careful to hold it still as he looked up, hoping to evaluate Sasaki’s condition, but his head was tilted back towards the ceiling, so he couldn’t see his face.

“Is it okay?” Miyano asked softly, not wanting to startle him.

“Yeaahhh,” Sasaki said, drawing the word out like he was talking in his sleep.

Miyano bit his lip. Did it really feel that good? Maybe it was more the principle of the thing, the idea of what was happening, that had Sasaki hard as a rock. He pressed a kiss to his shaft and Sasaki whimpered; Miyano gasped at the sound, and at the way the man’s body clamps around his digit. The thought of feeling that sensation around his dick instead of his finger made him so horny that a shiver ran through him.

At this point, though, it was still difficult to imagine fitting inside him that way, and his initial doubts about the functionality of shampoo as lube were proving to have been prescient. “Wait, let’s do this right...”

Sasaki grunted in confusion (and no small amount of dismay) as Miyano slowly withdrew from him, then rose to his feet and turned off the water. 

“We should use real lube if we’re going to keep going,” Miyano explained, reaching for one of the towels he had brought in earlier. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“...do you have that?” Sasaki asked, blinking at him. “Real lube?”

“...Y- yeah, I do,” Miyano said, reddening.

“You... went out and bought real lube?” 

“ Yes ,” Miyano huffed, squaring his shoulders. “And condoms too. Is that so hard to believe?”

Sasaki started laughing then; it started slowly, but within a couple of moments, he was clutching his side like he had given himself a muscle cramp. “Oh man, I wish I could have been there to see the look on your face- tell me everything.”

“I’ve already blocked out the whole experience, okay?!” Miyano said, cringing the memory away, or at least, trying to. “Years of buying BL prepared me for it somewhat, anyway...”

Ignoring that Sasaki was still snickering, Miyano unfolded the towel, doubled it over, and draped it over Sasaki’s head, rustling it gently back and forth to absorb the water. Sasaki was looking down at him with a soft smile, the kind that did little to the mouth, but wrinkled the corners of the eyes. 

“What is it?” Miyano asked, recognizing the look of musing in Sasaki’s eyes.

“I was just thinking... I’m surprised you’re an only child.”

“Eh?” Miyano said. “What’s that got to do with anything...?”

“Seems like you like taking care of people,” Sasaki said. 

Miyano flushed, dropping the towel to Sasaki’s shoulders and letting it unfold, cape-like, around his back. “It’s... just you... Not ‘people.’”

Sasaki smiled, taking a moment to just gaze down at him before reaching for the other towel. “Well, you’re good at it,” he said. “So I’ve gotta take care of you, too!”

Miyano yelped in surprise as Sasaki threw the towel over his head and ruffled his hair with it thoroughly. “My hair’s gonna be all puffy now, you know- what are you doing? ”

“Drying us off~” Sasaki said cheerfully, having wrapped a single bath towel around both of them to wrap them together. It barely fit all the way around them both, and necessitated that they grind up against one another, which was clearly Sasaki’s ploy in the first place. 

Miyano shook his head fondly, unable to resist giving Sasaki a kiss before extricating himself from the towel and taking him by the hand. “Let’s... let’s go, then.”

Sasaki let Miyano lead him back to his bedroom, holding the towel around his waist with his free hand. It felt strange to be naked in someone else’s house, but since he could trust that nothing would disturb them, he let himself focus on admiring Miyano. He had a wonderful view of Miyano’s back, which was decorated with stray droplets of water that were just begging to be licked away, and he could spy a mole he’d never known about hiding in the shadow of his left shoulder blade; he was dying to kiss it. Miyano was wearing a towel around his waist, too, but it hung low, low enough to show the adorable dimples at the bottom of each flank, just above his cute, squishy butt; and, as he walked, the towel swished back and forth to reveal the backs of his knees, which Sasaki wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before.

“...Even the backs of your knees are cute, how is that possible...?!” he said to himself quietly in a high-pitched whisper.

“Hm? What are you saying...?” Miyano said, looking back at him over his shoulder.

“Uhm... Nothin’,” he said. Miyano smiled at him so sweetly before turning back around, he stumbled right into the side of his bed.

Miyano giggled, squeezing his hand. “Go ahead and get on the bed.”

Sasaki was shocked to realize they had, indeed, reached the bed. He swallowed hard, then sat down on the bed, leaning back on his elbows to wait for Miyano to climb on top of him. Up until now, he had tried not to gawk; he knew Miyano was anxious about being seen nude, and he didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable by calling unnecessary attention to it. 

But he was only human; his eyes went straight to Miyano’s dick and stayed there as soon as he dropped his towel to the floor.  “It’s… so cute…!” 

“It- wait, you mean my--?!” Miyano stammered, flushing deep red and fighting the urge to reach down and cover himself as he realized exactly what Sasaki was talking about. 

The note of distress in Miyano’s voice brought Sasaki back to his senses, and he looked back up at him properly. “Sorry, I just... like it, that’s all.”

Miyano felt like he was about to hyperventilate, but he kept his hands hanging resolutely at his sides, fingers curling and uncurling in an attempt to vent some nervous energy. “...Well, fine, but... no guy wants to hear ‘aww, what a cute little penis’...”

“I didn’t say it was little, I said it was cute, ” Sasaki said, reaching out to seize one of those nervous hands in order to pull Miyano forward onto the bed, and onto him. “It’s a good size, and the shape is nice, too. It suits you.”

Miyano scrunched his nose up as if he found these remarks distasteful, or at the very least, uncomfortable - but his cheeks were burning, and he let Sasaki gather him into his lap without resistance. Once he was seated there, Sasaki pulled the lock of hair he had been fidgeting with free of his hand and pressed a kiss to the wet strands, then did the same to both sides of his face, the skin hot beneath his lips.

“You okay? Hm?” Sasaki chuckled, after Miyano ducked his face into his neck in a clear gesture of overwhelm. 

Miyano made a fussy sound, and Sasaki patted him on the back, which only made him feel more pitiful. “Yeah, ‘m fine,” he mumbled. “Sorry...”

“Hm?”

The only response Miyano gave was to nip at Sasaki’s earlobe; Sasaki gasped, instinctually grinding up against him, and Miyano planted a row of kisses down to his neck. “Do you wanna... get back to it?”

“...Definitely.”

Miyano smiled, grateful that Sasaki was so patient with him in the moments when his nerves flared up and delayed their progress. He shuffled off of Sasaki’s lap and reached inside the stool beside his bed, quickly pulling out the condoms and lube he’d bought, hoping not to call attention back to the subject of how he’d suffered to acquire them. “Lay down for me, then...?”

“Yessir~” Sasaki said cheerfully. He tipped back, letting himself fall ragdoll-limp the rest of the way onto the bed, and took a moment to watch as Miyano coated his fingers in lube before scooting back to lay down properly. When Miyano asked him if he was ready, he only nodded; he wasn’t sure when he had started chewing on his lip, but now that he had started, he couldn’t stop.

The first finger slid in again with even less resistance than before, and Sasaki let his head fall back with a groan as if its return came as a relief. Miyano moved slowly nonetheless, letting himself get distracted by admiring Sasaki to ensure he kept his pace idle. He was a sight to behold, with his stomach muscles pulled taut with anticipation and his thick cock lolling to one side against them, almost fully erect but not quite, still sagging a bit with the burden of its size, but rapidly straining towards its full height and circumference. He had one arm laying across his face, one eye completely obscured by his elbow, but his posture seemed more relaxed than it did shy or nervous, like it only served to partially block the glare of the light fixture overhead.

“I’m gonna keep going, okay?” Miyano whispered, letting his head lean against the side of Sasaki’s knee. Once he received an affirmative hum, he carefully withdrew his index finger and pressed it to his middle digit as tightly as he could, doing his best to make the two into tapered shape before beginning to press them back inside.

Sasaki gasped, preemptively nodding, It’s okay, keep going, so as not to discourage his boyfriend. It was uncomfortable, but nothing unmanageable, and he was pretty sure things were about to get good.

“Wow, you’re doing really well… this isn’t as hard as I thought it would be…” Miyano praised, genuinely impressed by the way his fingers sank into him to the second knuckle, then eased past the rim with only slight resistance. 

Sasaki already felt like he had entered a different plane of existence; Miyano’s words of praise, mild though they were, seemed to transform discomfort he felt into something raw and intense and vulnerable that soaked all the way through his body and into his soul, encompassing, but transcending, mere sensation. 

“That’s two fingers all the way, do you want me to try moving them...?” Miyano asked. Sasaki let out an incoherent grunt that would be difficult to interpret on its own, but it was clarified by the way he started rocking his hips, riding his fingers and not-so-subtly trying to guide them to just the right spot, so Miyano obliged. He gave the buried digits an experimental flex, brushing against a bundle of tissue that felt distinct from all that around it, and Sasaki went rigid, arching up off the bed with a loud, guttural cry that clearly startled them both, and for a moment, all they could do was stare at one another in mutual shock and embarrassment at what had just occurred. “S-sorry, did that hurt...?”

Sasaki shook his head slowly, palm pressed to his mouth in overwhelm and muffling the sound of his voice. “N-no, it didn’t hurt, it- it was like... a... a thump?”

Miyano stared at him blankly. 

“Maybe just... try it a little gentler?” Sasaki said, still catching his breath. 

“Right, got it...” Miyano said, nodding resolutely. He kept his eyes on Sasaki’s, vigilant, this time, for any reaction as pressed his fingertips to the same spot with a fraction of the force he’d thought was gentle a moment ago, moving his fingers as slowly and carefully as if he were rolling a bead between them. 

Sasaki let out a series of small, guttural moans that tapered off into panting as his chest heaved upwards off the mattress, tossing his head back as his eyes fluttered shut. When he looked up again and their eyes met, he gave a small nod and lifted his hips in clear invitation for Miyano to continue. 

It was a thrill to be able to deliver such clear intensity of feeling with so little effort; just by moving his fingers no differently than he would to rub a stray cat’s chin, Miyano could make Sasaki whimper and writhe, could make his cock as hard as he’d ever seen it. He lost himself in the easy, repetitive motion, idly stroking his thigh with his free hand, not knowing how long he went on driving Sasaki sweetly insane.

In the throes of it, Sasaki clawed and clutched at the sheets like the bed was a vertical surface from which he was desperately trying not to fall, chewing on his lip to keep relatively quiet. Miyano was mesmerized by him; but before long, a murmur just a bit too quiet for him to hear pulled him from his reverie, and he stilled entirely. “I’m sorry, Shuumei, what was that?”

“More... I’m ready for more,” said Sasaki, groaning as Miyano slowly withdrew his fingers in order to add a third beside them and grant his wish. He sucked a breath in through his teeth as he was penetrated again, and Miyano reached out to lay his free hand atop his. 

“Is it okay?” Miyano asked, lacing their fingers together.

Sasaki nodded, not trusting his voice to manage much. “Yeah, do- do more.”

Miyano balked. “There’s no rush...”

“Easy for you to say...” Sasaki grumbled, writhing around on his fingers without shame.

“I just don’t want to hurt you,” Miyano said, squeezing Sasaki’s hand as he whined again and let his head fall back in apparent surrender. His neediness went straight to Miyano’s dick, and he almost wanted to take even longer on purpose, just to savor all of the wanting coming off of Sasaki.

Only a moment later, though, Sasaki abruptly pulled him down to his chest, and Miyano struggled to keep his fingers inside of him at the awkward new angle. “Shuumei... it’s kind of hard to do it like this...”

But Sasaki only clutched him tighter, mumbling, “just need you- need you here,” so somehow, Miyano found a way to manage, petting his insides like that until he interrupted again with another plea.

 “Yoshikazu... Yoshikazu, I’m ready, I want it, c’mon, please...”

Miyano felt an unfamiliar thrill wash over him, and he couldn’t believe the words that came out of his own mouth next. “Hmm? What is it you want, exactly, baby?” he asked softly, deliberately fingering what he had quickly discovered to be Sasaki’s weakest spot with gentle but devastating precision. Sasaki threw his head back, shielding his eyes with his arm as he let out a series of guttural, sob-like nonsense syllables, seemingly unable to answer, and Miyano stilled his hand, wondering if he had gone too far. Just as he was about to check in with him, though, he saw Sasaki compose himself, shifting his arm just enough to look at him from beneath it.

“...I want... I want you to put it in me. I-I want your cock inside me.”

Miyano sucked in a sharp breath, eyes going wide at his lover’s filthy words. In his shock, he accidentally let his fingers slide out a little more quickly than was polite, causing Sasaki to groan. “Oh! I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine,” Sasaki said. “Just- keep going, please.”

“R-right. Gladly, just hold on a moment longer, okay?” Miyano said. “Uhm... You may want to uhm, turn around.”

Sasaki’s eyes widened, then darted away from Miyano’s; Miyano tilted his head inquisitively. “I uh... was hoping I’d be able to- see you?” Sasaki said sheepishly. “Is that okay?”

For a moment, Miyano was speechless, which he worried Sasaki would misinterpret as resistance to the idea, so when he finally said  “Of course,” his tone was awkward and blurting; but Sasaki didn’t seem to mind, and just smiled at him like he had hung the moon like he always did. He applied more lube to Sasaki, possibly an excessive amount, then applied what was definitely an excessive amount to himself. He took a deep breath and moved forward, letting the tip of his cock press against Sasaki’s hole, and already Sasaki hummed in satisfaction. “Shuumei... I haven’t even done anything yet.”

“‘Still feels good to have you against me, s’all it takes to feel good,” Sasaki mumbled, threading his fingers through the hair at the nape of Miyano’s neck.

Miyano smiled, almost tearing up as a pang of affection for his boyfriend washed over him. Sasaki was so sweet, considerate, and accommodating of him; he made it so clear that he was loved and wanted. Miyano only hoped to make his adoration just as clear in return. In that moment, the best way for him to do that was to push in as slowly as he possibly could. Once he was head-deep, Sasaki let out a groan, so he stopped; but Sasaki just nodded in encouragement when he stopped to check on him.

So he continued on, pushing deeper inside of him in tiny increments, pausing with each one to wait for indications of assent that were decreasing in patience and intelligibility. There was only one time when Sasaki begrudgingly admitted that he did need a moment, and Miyano was happy to let him have one. The words that passed between them were brief and sweet, as only words whispered against another’s skin can be; Miyano pressed kisses to whatever parts of Sasaki he could reach until Sasaki reached out and grasped his hips, pulling them towards him to  encourage him to keep going.

Sasaki shuddered, but sighed as if in deep satisfaction, as Miyano at last buried himself in him to the hilt. Although he tried not to let it show, being enveloped and gripped by Sasaki’s tight heat was overwhelming, and when he stilled above him, it was as much for his own sake as Sasaki’s. But Sasaki started pulling at his hips again even as they were both still catching their breath. 

“Hold on, hold on,” Miyano soothed, fumbling for the bottle of lube as he carefully pulled back out, causing Sasaki to let out the most endearing whine Miyano had ever heard from him. Sasaki’s eagerness was flattering, but Miyano was determined to do this right , and not take any risks with his partner’s comfort, so he coated his entire length with a fresh layer of lube before entering him again. It was much easier this time, and Miyano felt his caution had been vindicated.

Sasaki’s body trembled as Miyano’s dick pressed into its deepest reaches, and he groaned, his head thrown back almost too far for Miyano to see the ecstasy in his eyes or the smile on his face. Even without those visual cues to clue him in on how pleased Sasaki was, though, the raspy, drawn out “Yesssss,” that followed a moment later would have. Almost immediately, Sasaki was kicking at the air to rock them together, hands splayed across the small of Miyano’s back to pull him closer.

Miyano let out a small whimper, falling forward completely onto Sasaki’s chest. Being inside him felt unbelievable . His cock was being squeezed so deliciously tight, and even his slightest movements caused Sasaki to let out some kind of sound or another; usually soft, quiet grunts, but sometimes even little squeaks that Miyano found particularly rewarding. 

“Miy-Y-Yoshikazu- c’mon, c’mon,” Sasaki babbled, urging him on to begin thrusting in earnest.

Miyano was still apprehensive to do so, but then Sasaki reached down and grabbed a handful of his ass, and the last of his inhibition frayed beyond repair. He planted both hands on the mattress on either side of Sasaki’s head, gripping the sheets, to hold himself up enough to draw back and sink in again, and then again, and then again. 

With each repetition of the motion, Sasaki’s body began to tremble more, and Miyano grew more out of breath. He let his head fall forward, his hair brushing against Sasaki’s chest as he looked down to see their bodies joined. At some point, Sasaki’s neglected cock had drooled a tiny puddle onto his belly, to which it was still connected by a glistening thread of cum that was sure to break any moment as their bodies jostled together. 

Miyano wanted to reach down and touch it, but he didn’t trust himself to be able to hold himself up with one arm. Without even thinking, he found himself saying, “Shuumei- touch yourself, baby” - and then he moaned, almost collapsing anyway when Sasaki’s body seizes up all around him in response.

By this point, Sasaki was so worked up that the mere act of grasping his own cock made him feel like he was on the verge of losing his mind. With Miyano rocking into him at the same time, every stroke of his hand felt like a wave of delirium; he was so lost in pleasure that he wasn’t sure if he was still making sounds, or if he’d hear Miyano if he said anything else.

Miyano tried to use restraint, but he felt his thrusts growing faster, addicted to the feeling every time his body collided completely with Sasaki’s. Taking a risk, he supported himself on one hand and moved the other to Sasaki’s hair. He tried to smooth it back, but his fingers stuck on a tangle, causing Sasaki to gasp at the unintended yank, but before Miyano had the chance to speak the apology on his tongue, he heard Sasaki say, “pull it, just pull it, it’s fine,” and he was happy to comply. He felt like his brain was melting as he gathered up a fistful of Sasaki’s hair and pulled, watching as his eyes rolled back in his head while he cursed under his breath.

Sasaki began to shake and spasm beneath him, jacking himself off with abandon as blast after blast of cum escaped him, balls tightening almost to the point of the pain. His cum hit Miyano’s stomach, and even reached his chest a little; this, as well as the sight of Sasaki completely surrendered to what he was feeling, was what sent Miyano over the edge. He began to thrust without reason or intentionality, only desperate, instinctual need; then, with one final, deep, hard thrust, he felt himself pumping into Sasaki over and over, whiting out with the force of his orgasm.

Once he was lucid, but still panting to catch his breath, he held himself up properly again to look down at Sasaki, who was in a similar state. There was a sheen of sweat over his face, and his hair was frizzy from having dried in strange positions against the bedsheets; his eyes were half-lidded, as if straining to stay open only for the sake of looking back at him. He looked fucked, Miyano realized, and he thought that he wore it quite well. At the same time Miyano reached out to touch his face, Sasaki reached up, slid his fingers into the damp hair at the base of Miyano’s skull, and pulled him down so that they were touching. 

Miyano laughed at how they had mirrored one another - more of a breathless gasp than anything - but it made Sasaki laugh, too, in much the same way, and then they were both laughing, wracked with silent little spasms of glee which they were only able to perceive in one another because they were still joined together, pressed belly to belly. “Are you okay?” he asked, gently tracing the pad of his thumb along the indentation of his temple. 

Considering the way Sasaki had been beaming up at him, and how he was in no hurry to extricate himself, it was a redundant question, but Sasaki just nodded, and pulled him into a kiss. 

For a long while after, Sasaki showed no interest in doing anything but kissing Miyano, and Miyano was content to oblige. They kept on kissing well after Miyano went soft and gradually slid out of him, which facilitated Sasaki rolling them both over so that their positions were reversed. It felt a little backwards to Miyano, like Sasaki was doting on him - but it seemed to be what he wanted to do, and Miyano didn’t want to deny him.

Eventually, though, Sasaki did pull back, looking down at Miyano with an almost drowsy expression, as if appraising the completion of a task. Then, he heaved a sigh and let himself collapse on top of him, making quick work of snaking his arms beneath him to hold him. “Hngh, I love you so much, ” he groaned, squeezing Miyano comically tight and mashing his face to his chest. 

“I- oof!- love you too, Shuumei,” Miyano laughed, smoothing his hand over Sasaki’s frazzled mess of copper hair. He didn’t dare try to comb his fingers through it much, for how tangled it was. And then it dawned on him: “Wait, I didn’t use conditioner!”

Sasaki didn’t even lift his head. “Hm?”

“When I washed your hair earlier - I forgot to use any!” 

“Pft, that’s what you’re thinking about?”

“Well, I messed it up, so I feel bad.”

“I’ll survive somehow,” Sasaki said, turning his head so that his cheek was pressed to Miyano’s chest, ear to his heartbeat. “Wanna know what I’ve been thinking?”

“Of course!”

“When we’re laying down... there’s no height difference.”

Miyano blinked, silent as he absorbed the statement. It was so simple, so obvious, really; yet somehow, it was also a striking realization. He had never had the view of the top of Sasaki’s head that he had now, that was for sure; he couldn’t usually see his natural hair color growing in again only a few days after dyeing it, each follicle a stark black dot at the base of every strand, and he wouldn’t usually be able to reach to kiss his crown. 

Sasaki shuffled around, snuggling up to him so that his head was tucked under Miyano’s chin - something else that could never happen when they were standing, Miyano thought - and let out a satisfied sigh. “It’s kinda nice.”

“Yeah...” Miyano said. “It really is.”