Chapter Text
Well, fuck.
Kim Dokja just had to wake up to a blue pop-up window saying “Personal Skill [Fourth Wall] is currently disabled.”
He had tried so damn hard to turn it back on, and to no avail. So here he was, at 10 AM during the apocalypse, with a mug of coffee in his hand and hair that looked like hurricane Katrina had happened.
“… Caffeine isn’t good for you,” Yoo Joonghyuk said with a frown, seated by Kim Dokja. He was (quite menacingly) sharpening his sword, though it looked more like he was trying to destroy the whetstone he was using.
“Yeah, and so was the last 4 years of my life,” Kim Dokja grumbled softly in return. He felt like he should sit next to Joonghyuk, instead of awkwardly hovering around his vicinity, but without the security of the [Fourth Wall] to aid his social skills he’d rather die.
Instead, Dokja opted to awkwardly pace around the grounds like he was waiting for Asmodeus to explode. Yoo Joonghyuk did not look amused at his strange behaviour.
“What are you doing.” Yoo Joonghyuk, like the talented protagonist he is, had yet again managed to word a question like a demand.
“Burning off the stress I build up when I talk to your sunfish ass,” Kim quipped back, though missing his usual energy. For some reason he felt oddly angry instead, and it was burning away at his singular braincell.
Yoo Joonghyuk’s glare was sharper than the knife Dokja used to kill his father, but Yoo Joonghyuk’s glares were always like that so Kim Dokja didn’t really care.
“… We’re going out soon, be ready in an hour.” He practically growled, and got up and left Kim Dokja with his lonely-as-hell self, probably to get Lee Jihye or whoever else was coming with them.
Kim Dokja sighed in relief once Yoo Joonghyuk left his line of vision. Talking to Yoo Joonghyuk today was surprisingly not gratifying, and that was because, as weirdly insane as this may sound, Kim Dokja had felt his blood pressure rise while talking to him. Just what the hell was he like without the [Fourth Wall]???
He decided that this may be a slight problem.
‘Aren’t I supposed to be the one elevating Yoo Joonghyuk’s blood pressure, not the other way around? Yeah, that’s definitely right… But does anything go right with me anyway??? Ehh, not really. So this is normal.’
Kim Dokja was not the best at applying his IQ to situations outside of scamming constellations and cheating at scenarios, as shown by the sentence above.
‘Maybe I just have anger issues,’ Dokja thought for one (1) intelligent second.
‘Nah, couldn’t be. I’m the giver of anger issues, maybe I’m just especially annoyed at Joonghyuk’s face today.’ Then he went back to being stupid.
And with that, Kim Dokja pranced away, deciding that even if all his social skills were gone because of [Fourth Wall]’s absence, he could still annoy Han Sooyoung.
This statement was true, but it also sparked an entire Hell’s worth of chaos.
*
“AHJUSSI PLEASE STOP !” Shin Yoosoung cried from the cover of a wall of worn-out couches, along with the other members of her nebula.
[Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is crying.]
[Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is agreeing with Incarnation ‘Shin Yoosoung.’]
[Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is asking Nebula ‘Eden’ for assistance.]
[Constellation ‘Scribe of Heaven’ denies.]
[Constellation ‘Scribe of Heaven’ is running away.]
[Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ is cursing the archangels.]
[Constellation ‘Maritime Admiral’ is concerned for their incarnation.]
[Constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is conflicted.]
[Constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ enjoys the scene, but is concerned for their incarnation.]
[Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is tugging their hair out.]
[Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is concerned for their maknae.]
[Constellation ‘Devil of Lust and Wrath’ is impressed.]
[Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter’ is concerned.]
[Constellation ‘Queen of the Darkest Spring’ is offering help.]
[Constellation ‘Father of the Rich Night’ is offering help.]
[Nebula ‘Olympus’ is paying close attention.]
[Nebula ‘Papyrus’ is paying close attention.]
[Nebula ‘Vedas’ is paying close attention.]
Not one incarnation paid any attention to the string of indirect messages in the face of a greater evil.
“NO! NONE OF YOU EVER DAMN LISTEN TO ME! HOW ABOUT YOU STOP, AND GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS THAT-” Kim Dokja proceeded to rant about something, but none of the surviving incarnations were listening in fear of their lives.
Okay, so here’s the current situation: the Company (and any one else that was near the vicinity) is hiding from Kim Dokja’s wrath, as surprisingly Demon Kings are actually scary! This wouldn’t have really been a refuted idea if everyone in KimCo. hadn’t already fought at least one demon king, and Kim Dokja wasn’t one himself.
Though somehow, he managed to break through his tumblr-blorbo-kawaii-boi-ass-less-bottom self and actually be terrifying. He had activated his Demon King transformation, and he had grown his size with it, and paired with the fact that his irises were literally glowing red, not like in memes but in menacing boss battles of horror movies, in terms of scariness he rivaled Yoo Joonghyuk.
“DOKJA CALM YOUR BITCH-ASS DOWN I ONLY SAID THAT I DIDN’T LIKE THE WORD PANINI , WHAT THE HELL,” Han Sooyoung called desperately. She did not know what happened in the short time between now and when Kim Dokja first appeared either, but she couldn’t bring herself to remember as she had burned those memories with an avatar for a reason.
[Constellation ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ is agreeing with their incarnation.]
“DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT TO ME, YOU GODDAMN SHORTASS MALNUTRITIONED RICH-KID SHITTY-ASS WRITER FUCKING DICK!” Kim Dokja punched a table with Yoo Joonghyuk-level strength, and the poor table’s atoms literally almost broke. It would’ve been very bad if they had, but thankfully only Yoo Joonghyuk’s capable of that (not really thankfully as having an emotionally constipated sunfish regressor be able to cause atomic explosions is something of Han Sooyoung’s nightmares, also known as her reality).
“KIM DOKJA, SHUT UP. ” Even Yoo Joonghyuk joined the fray, trying to get Kim Dokja to calm the hell down. I mean, if there was one person that could get Kim Dokja to stop and get some help, it would be Joonghyuk, right?
Wrong. Kim Dokja only got madder after he heard Yoo Joonghyuk’s voice. “AND YOU. YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I’VE DONE FOR YOU? HM? I HAVE SPENT SO LONG PLANNING JUST FOR THINGS TO GO YOUR WAY, AND WHAT DO YOU DO FOR ME? NOTHING. YOU INSULT ME, HURT ME, DISRESPECT ME, AND I’M DONE WITH IT. YOU HERE ME? I’M DONE.”
[Constellation ‘Secretive Plotter is agreeing with Demon King ‘Demon King of Salvation.’]
Kim Dokja took a rare pause in his speech to unsheathe Unbreakable Faith, and then continued on. “YOU THINK I’M GOING TO LET YOU KEEP GOING WITH THAT? NO. I’M SO SICK OF YOU, ALL OF YOU, except you guys Yoosoung-ah and Gilyoung-ah <3, just call me and I’ll come pick you up.”
[Constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ is cooing at Demon King ‘Demon King of Salvation’s paternal love.]
Sooyoung was deeply offended by her mistreatment. “HEy what the FuC-“
”AhahahaaaSÄÃAAAaAAaAAaAAWWWSAAæAÅ!!111!!1”
”oh fuc,” went everyone collectively.
***
Running.
Everyone that had ever even set eyes on Kim Dokja were running. Farther, farther, through the darkness that was the <Underworld>.
Persephone and Hades had offered to transport Kim Dokja’s victims there in order to save them from his wrath. Unfortunately, Kim Dokja managed to hop a ride in with them. So now they were trying to buy time as they waited for the Underworld couple to attempt to restrain their feral son.
“GET THE HELL BACK HERE!” Kim Dokja had definitely gotten some sort of stat or skill boost in the midst of his outrage, as even Yoo Joonghyuk was beginning to get tired of running (KDJ is rivaling YJH’S speed, scariness, and his strength! He’s rlly turned into a kinnie smh).
The only reason that the remaining survivors were able to survive to begin with was because Jung Heewon and Han Sooyoung were throwing tomatoes at Kim Dokja, effectively slowing him down for a good 3 minutes. Unfortunately, they only had 6 tomatoes to begin with, so they had to be used sparingly. Though it was a blessing to have them, some couldn’t help but be resentful that Bihyung had only dropped off 6 to aid their dilemma.
[Constellation ‘Queen of the Darkest Spring’ is announcing Constellation ‘Father of the Rich Night’s’ arrival!]
[Many Constellations sigh in relief.]
[Constellation ‘Demon-Like Judge of Fire’ has stopped shedding feathers in relief.]
[Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is complaining about hair loss.]
All of a sudden, a large, inky hand had appeared in the dark night sky. It was strangely shapeless, despite its appearance as a hand. It grabbed Kim Dokja by the coat easily, as if picking up a phone off the ground, and just as suddenly melted back into the darkness.
“We’ve got him,” spoke a soft voice. It was none other than Persephone, the mother of the demon rat.
Yoo Joonghyuk, Han Sooyoung, Jung Heewon, the kids, Lee Hyunsung, Lee Seolhwa, Yoo Sangah, and the remaining survivors of Kim Dokja’s Massacre™ all promptly passed out.