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The bells chime softly as Xiao opens the door to the new florist shop that opened recently less than a block away from his own tattoo parlor. It's almost too convenient and fills Xiao with a sense of relief at not having to look around for another flower shop when he already barely feels the energy to move his two feet.
It's been slightly more than 2 years he chides himself; more than enough time for him to be over it. And in a way he is; he has been healing slowly. It's just that every step forward he takes is immediately followed with 10 steps back as he works himself up into a frenzy of how he's forgetting about them and not honouring their memory despite visiting them at least once a month and oh my god he really needs therapy what the hell is wrong with him and then the cycle just keep repeating with nothing really changing because A. he has been procrastinating going to a therapist for a year now and he doesn't know if it's because he truly keeps forgetting or if it's because he feels like he doesn't deserve to get better, which wow okay pretty dark for a Sunday morning.
Reason B. is pretty simple being that his parlor has been a bit on the lowkey side for the first 4 months its been open but the past 2 months one of his customers posted his work on instagram or something and they were an "influencer" whatever that means but basically his business got a big boost and now he barely has time for all the people wanting to get an appointment let alone have time for himself.
He takes a deep breath as his eyes scan his brightly lit surroundings, his nose twitches; sensitive from all the different flower scents and pollen around him and he fights the urge to sneeze as he approaches the cash trying not to panic about all the different colored blooming flowers, all spectacular colors and clearly well kept and cared after. He really knows nothing about flowers, he thinks belatedly and he hopes he doesn't make a fool out of himself and oh...his whole thought process stutters when he sees the man behind the counter. He's so cute and cozy with his pastel turquoise sweater and matching dip-dyed hair made into two braids and oh my god Xiao is reminded with a sudden intensity that he is indeed gay.
"Oh hello there," pretty braid man greets, voice melodic and so very cheery it sounds like like he's supposed to be a fairy jingling and fluttering around him. "Hi," he responded sounding gruff and clumsy and nowhere near as pleasant as this guy.
"My name is Venti and I'm the owner of Starfell Valey Flowers how can I help you?"
He really sounded too cheerful and sing songy is this person even real Xiao thaught to himself grumbling.
His mood has quickly soured as he was reminded of the reason he was here in the first place. "I'm looking for some white chrysanthemums please. Just a bunch in a small bouquet nothing fancy," "Oh I'm sorry for your loss of course coming right up" the man, Venti he said his name was, looked a little more somber the twinkle in his eyes dimming but a smile still etched on his beautiful face.
Xiao shook his head blinking at his hands as he tried not to lose his focus hyperfixating on the same guilt and overthinking that has been slowly eating away at his heart and mind. Survivor's guilt he has heard his friends and colleagues call it. Annoying is what he chose to refer to it as. Desperately trying to prove that he is in control of his mind more than it was vice versa.
He watched as Venti floated more than walked around the store, with the ease of someone who loves what he is doing and is clearly in tune with his surroundings. Xiao felt a pang of enviousness fill his body as he watched the effortlessness of this gorgeous man working in front of him. It felt otherworldly, perhaps Xiao felt unworthy of such sight.
"This won't take long I'm sorry. It's pretty good that the weather is at elast sunny no rain or wind to blow those gorgeous flowers away," he giggled and then continued mindlessly chatting while fixing up Xiao's order.
Xiao couldn't control the wave of irritation that struck him and he felt so helpless against his sudden mood shift. It has happened ocassionally these past 2 years. Temperamental and aggressive people have called him. He never corrected them. Because it was true; his emotions have gone haywire and as much as he hated to admit it but there was no way he could fix whatever screws loosened in his head with the loss of his best friend. He desperately needed help.
"Could you hurry up," Xiao muttered cringing at how harsh he sounded compared to the soft spoken florist. "Please," he added in an awkward attempt to salvage this conversation and not completely demolish any chances he could have with this man.
"Haha I'm done anyway don't worry."
"Ta-Da," he added with flare as he gestured to the bouquet in his hands, which was truly nicer than any other bouquet Xiao has ever gotten for this. He felt at a total loss of words and also as though he was ready to scream and vent all his worries to this man he just met. It angered him. This loss of control of his emotions. Almost got him mad.
"Thank you they're lovely," he opted for the basic answer, not wanting to elaborate further in case he ran his mouth too much.
"Aww that's all you've got to say? I have heard I am the best florist in town and they're lovely is all you have for me?"
Xiao frowned, feeling made fun of. "They're dead people flower what the hell are they supposed to look like. I don't think you've experienced loss before if you can be so cheerful about it," Xiao blurted, immediately regretting the words as they escaped his mouth out of his control. He watched with horror as Venti was left gaping and the light in his emerald eyes extinguished faster than Xiao could even say sorry. "Sorry that sounded harsh I'm sorry forgive me," he couldn't even meet his eyes.
"No don't apologise it's fine I'm sure it's a rough day for you," Venti tried to smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Good going Xiao you're a great trainwreck his mind supplied unhelpfully. He really blee it in less than 30 mins with the first attractive guy he met and actually felt a spark with.
Xiao tried to smile back at Venti, although he's pretty sure it looked more like a grimace. He thanked him again, paid him and promised him to make it up for him next time he came to the store to order anything in a sad attempt to prove that he isn't as much of an asshole as he had made himself look like. Venti laughed his carefree laughter again and said he would look forward to it thought Xiao didn't know how much of it was true.
The next time Xiao stumbled into the flower shop again it was raining profusely and all his layers were sticking to his body as though the ink on his skin has melted into his fabric. Despite the weather and the chaos however, he was feeling way more put together than his last visit 2 months ago. For one he has finally gotten his shit together and went to therapy, even one session felt good enough to take off some of the weight of his shoulders but this whole weekly sessions really changed his perspective on the world and the concept of loss
For second, he finally gathered up the courage to ask the cute florist out for a coffee date as a means of making up for his shitty behaviour the last time he was here. Though he wasn't so sure about today as it was the 2 year and a half anniversary of his friend's death, but perhaps they could schedule something later this week.
"Hello ven- you're not venti," he stopped in his tracks looking at the blonde guy standing in the place Venti was standing in behind the counter. "Oh no sorry Venti took the day off. I'm sorry if he made any plans for a flower arrangement of sorts for you today, he can be a bit neglectful of time sometimes. My name is Aether I'm covering for him I can try to help you," the boy was clearly not as experienced as Venti rambling and a little anxious.
"Oh it's fine I just want a small bouquet of white roses please," he answered, feeling somewhat dejected and losing the little courage he has accumulated the past week. "Do you know when he will be back?"
"Probably tomorrow or after tomorrow honestly it's just a one day thing but it all depends on his attitude and behaviour today," Aether chuckled nervously.
Xiao nodded silently. The shop felt dead without the chatter of Venti livening up the environment. He accepted the bouquet and paid for it as soon as Aether finished it up and he had to admit it wasn't half as bad as he had expected to be. "Thank you," Xiao said making his way out of the shop. "You're welcome! Come again soon I'll be sure to let Venti know you came asking about him." Xiao wanted to say there was no need but instead chose to stay silent and nod.
The bus ride to the graveyard was peaceful in some sort of way. The rain has calmed down to a gentle pitter patter and Xiao was at peace for the first time in forever. He thinks about what new news he has to offer his friend and how proud of him he would be if he saw him right now.
He made his way throught the graveyard after sitting for a while at his friends grave when he heard the sound of music and the most peaceful voice engulfed him gently as the wind passed him by. He felt in a trance as he followed the origin of the sound only to find a body slumped on one of the graves, there were the green eyes he's been dreaming off for the past 2 months. Their eyes met and Venti stopped his playing immediafely and silence engulfed them as they stared at each other, mouths gaping. Venti swallowed carefully, "Ah so nice to see you here," unnatural to see such a blatantly fake smile on Venti's face but he really wasn't in any position to speak after they way he treated him the last and only time he has met him. Oh my god, Xiao felt like such a prick even more now seeing as Venti clearly knew a thing or two about loss if the meancholic way he was singing and the dried tear stains on his cheeks were any evidence. Xiao stuttered as he looked at the white flowers Venti has clearly arranged for his own deceased. "I-I'm really sorry I just heard such amazing playing I had to follow the sound of it." He admitted and was pleasantly surprised to see some twinkle return to Venti's eyes.
"I think that's the sweetest sentence I have heard from you," he frowned, "sorry i don't think I caught your name last time I have sort of been calling you Grumpy Hot Guy in my head," he then followed it with cheeky wink. Xiao felt his ear go up in flames as he responded with a simple "My name is Xiao," "Xiao," Venti said in the same melodic voice he always has and Xiao decided in that moment that he doesn't wanna hear his name said in any other way ever again.
"I was promised compensation I believe Xiao, unless of course that was false news?"
"I do not lie Venti," he answered. He felt as though that was the most he's held his ground with Venti.
"Then what are you waiting for hanging around the dead. I have a feeling you and I have much more to talk about than seems." His eyes almost seemed glowing with the mirth in them.
Xiao felt the first real smile in a while tug up on his mouth. "Mn. I think so too," he said gathering enough courage to hold Venti's hand. He was handsomely rewarded with a smile that could kill the sun. "Well then let's head out I know a cafe nearby that makes an apple cider you can wax poetry about."
Xiao felt his smile widen. He didn't know what the way they were taking was but he felt he won't mind as long as he was holding hands with Venti.