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‘It wasn’t supposed to be like this…’ Eiden thinks, dolefully staring at the empty spot where Yakumo sat before.
And no, he’s not only talking about being left alone in the storeroom still tied up with his pants nowhere to be found, exposed to the cold air and everyone who might enter the room. Eiden has gotten over that rather quickly, already resigning to his fate. Good thing he doesn’t have much shame left, so he doesn’t care too much about who is unfortunate enough to stumble upon him in this current state.
What’s still bothering him is Yakumo. Yakumo was—is… suffering. Pure agony was clear in his eyes, bared to everyone who has eyes. He looked like he was about to cry when he spoke about being thrown stones by the children or being bitten by the other serpents; hated, feared, scorned. Beneath that pain too, Eiden could see the anger, the bitterness Yakumo directed towards himself… a part of Yakumo probably thought that he didn’t deserve to be loved, to be accepted, if he wasn't, for the lack of a better word, normal.
Yakumo; sweet, gentle Yakumo who only wants to protect and keep everyone he loves safe, who only wants to make them happy, who only wants to be accepted and loved, who dislikes hurting anyone… Yakumo was struggling by himself.
Eiden should’ve called it quits, should've put a stop to it earlier. Yakumo wasn’t in his right mind, and the correct thing to do was to postpone it—talk about it and settle it down. But he was powerless against Yakumo’s strength and touches. To be frank, Eiden feels a bit guilty for enjoying it. His body did enjoy it, yet the painful lump in his chest is hard to dislodge, especially after he saw Yakumo crying. Eiden can taste the guilt, the fear, and the regret emanating from Yakumo.
They need to address it, as soon as possible, so Yakumo doesn’t have to shoulder the burden by himself for too long. Who knows how many years have Yakumo been tormented by this? All alone, with no one he can talk to? It must be difficult to hold such a thing by himself.
The door to the storeroom creaks open, followed by descending footsteps, and Eiden prepares himself for the shriek, the scream, and the laugh, along with the lengthy explanation he needs to say to placate the poor soul (who doesn't deserve to see this).
Except that whatever it is Eiden imagines doesn’t come, and instead, Eiden sees Yakumo standing above him, frowning and distressed. Eiden doesn’t know if he’s relieved that it’s Yakumo, or if he’s concerned at seeing such anguish on Yakumo’s face. Yakumo gives Eiden a swiping look from top to bottom, and he averts his eyes to the other sight… as if what he saw greatly repulsed him.
(It’s not him, Eiden has to reassure himself. It’s not the sight of him that repulsed Yakumo. It’s the sight of what Yakumo had done to him.)
“Yakumo?” Eiden asks gently, receiving no response from Yakumo. “Yakumo…” He tries for the second time, and Yakumo keeps his mouth shut. No talking, then. Yakumo probably is still processing everything and he needs some time to compose himself. It’s against Eiden to leave things hanging for too long, but… “Please just untie me, Yakumo…”
Crouching down between Eiden’s spread legs, Yakumo retrieves a piece of handkerchief. Carefully he dabs the blood on Eiden’s thigh with it until what’s left are the red bite marks. Then he uses the handkerchief to clean the drying cum splattered on Eiden’s chest, his motions firm yet gentle. Eiden watches Yakumo’s glassy eyes, the way his jaws are locked tight, and the inside of his lip is gnawed furiously by his teeth. If Eiden pried his lips open, perhaps he might see some blood there too.
‘Yakumo, I’m alright…’ is what Eiden wants to say to him, prevented by the heaviness resting on his tongue. Anything he says at this point to soothe him won’t get through Yakumo’s mind; most likely he’ll keep blaming himself and probably even get angry at Eiden. He's going to need an approach from a different angle once Yakumo has calmed down.
Yakumo still doesn’t untie Eiden, even after he’s done cleaning up all of the blood, cum, and sweat off his skin, nor he helps to put on Eiden's pants and shoes. Rather, he folds the rest of Eiden’s clothes and stacks them into a neat pile. He then takes off his cloak and covers Eiden’s bare lower body with it. Eiden patiently waits and gives himself to Yakumo, wanting to know where this is going. As long as Yakumo is here, Eiden isn’t afraid anymore.
Then Yakumo scoops Eiden into his arms, clothes and all, holding Eiden like he’s a delicate little princess. Eiden feels his face reddens at this sudden development, and he unconsciously ducks his head to hide his face as Yakumo carries him out of the storeroom. He silently hopes that everyone is too busy preparing for the taste testing and won’t see him like this.
‘Please be empty… please be empty… please be empty…’ Eiden repeats the mantra over and over again with each step and turn Yakumo makes. As an afterthought, he adds an extra prayer. ‘No Kuya… no Kuya… no Kuya… no Kuya…’
The hallways are graciously empty and Kuya doesn’t appear at all—to Eiden’s extreme relief—and soon they arrive at Eiden’s bedroom. Eiden fully relaxes when Yakumo shuts the door behind him, giving them the privacy Eiden needs. Yakumo gently places Eiden in the middle of the bed, arranging all the pillows behind Eiden’s back and around him.
“Yakumo?”
Eiden calls him again, but all Yakumo does is hiss lowly and leave the bedroom; returning a short while later with a box of first-aid kit. Seeing as Yakumo still refuses to talk or look at him, Eiden decides to observe for now. Yakumo puts on some ointment on the bite marks, and it reminds him of that time when Yakumo dragged him to treat the scratch on his arm after using a scythe. It’s not that foul-scented ointment again, yet watching the suffering on Yakumo’s expression is way worse than enduring the smell of that ointment.
At last, Yakumo unties the rope and rubs the same ointment on the red marks left on Eiden’s wrists. He puts away the ointment on the nightstand and just… sits there, on Eiden’s bed, with his hunched back facing Eiden. Even from the distance, Eiden can spot Yakumo’s shoulders shaking as he attempts to shrink himself into a small ball.
“Yakumo…” Eiden crawls behind him and puts his palm on Yakumo’s back to gain his attention. “Yakumo, can you look at me?” Yakumo’s back feels so cold, alarmingly cold even for him. “Please, Yakumo?”
If Yakumo isn’t going to respond, then Eiden will have to do the talking on his own. Eiden shifts closer and embraces Yakumo from behind, wrapping his arms around Yakumo’s torso and resting his cheek between his shoulder blades. Oh, his body is even colder like this; Eiden splays his palms on Yakumo’s chest and stomach, trying to rub some warmth into him.
“I said I want to give you a hug, right? Now that my hands are free, I can hug you.” Eiden tightens his hold when he feels Yakumo wriggles slightly in his arms. “Yakumo, let me hug you for a while. After that, you can kick me out—or leave me… whatever you want. Just allow me to hug you."
Yakumo stops moving, but he’s still too tense for Eiden’s liking. The usual Yakumo would gradually relax into Eiden’s hold and snuggles up closer, seeking Eiden’s body heat. Even if Eiden caught him by surprise and he tensed up, it wouldn’t take too long for Yakumo to grow pliant within Eiden’s arms like a noodle. A very cute noodle, ready to be kneaded and pulled until soft. Now he sits straight and stiff, resembling a wooden log. No matter where Eiden touches him, he doesn’t budge.
Though a bit disappointed that his hug and body warmth can’t elicit a reaction from Yakumo, Eiden continues to hold him. After such painful events… was anyone there to hug him? Was there someone who consoled him or treated his wounds? Did someone tell him that Yakumo wasn’t at fault—that he wasn’t disgusting, that he was loved? Or was Yakumo alone, forced to nurse his wounds and wipe his tears, all by himself?
“It must be awful… when they threw stones at you and bite you all over…” Eiden whispers, kissing Yakumo’s nape. He takes both of Yakumo’s gloved hands and holds them as well while still hugging his waist. Even through the gloves, the hands in his grip are as cold as the rest of Yakumo’s body. “I can’t imagine the pain and suffering you went through…”
Eiden hears a suck of a deep breath and feels the body in front of him tremble ever so slightly. “Yakumo, you can cry, y’know…” He turns Yakumo's hands around and then intertwines their fingers together. “After experiencing such things, you’re allowed to cry… If it’s too much to be borne alone, then cry it out…”
Before Eiden can help Yakumo, he thinks it’s better for Yakumo to let it all out first. Who knows how long Yakumo has been carrying the pain on his own, without giving himself a chance to share it with another person? Based on what he knows about Yakumo, he probably keeps those experiences all by himself. If Eiden immediately told him to change, he’d be ignoring Yakumo’s pain and emotions.
“Or you can tell me what you feel, what you think, anything. Look inside yourself and let all those pent-up feelings out.” Eiden speaks again when Yakumo doesn’t respond to him. “I know you were used to it, and you have your Grandparents, me, and the others now, but… it wasn’t a pleasant experience nonetheless. It’s good to let it all out sometimes.”
“Mr. Eiden…” It’s the first word Yakumo says, and it’s whispered so softly Eiden almost can’t hear it. “It hurts… it hurts so bad when they bit me, a-and… t-throw stones… at me…” Yakumo bows his head, clutching Eiden’s hands. “I c-couldn’t… do anything at all… I was a-all alone… Everything hurts, Mr. Eiden…”
Yakumo’s voice trails off into a sob, and after the first drop of tear hits Eiden’s palm, more follow soon as Yakumo cries. Eiden rests his head on Yakumo’s left shoulder and kisses the side of his neck, holding Yakumo and rocking him back and forth. It’d be better for them to be facing each other so Eiden can comfort him more directly, but Eiden is reluctant to release his hug. Yakumo is so fragile and delicate right now, he’s held together by Eiden’s embrace. Were he releases his hold, even for a single second, Yakumo would crumble to pieces.
Nothing else comes out of Yakumo’s mouth except garbled noises and sobbing. Yet those noises tell Eiden almost everything Yakumo feels; anger, pain, fear, suffering, helplessness… he’s baring himself openly in front of Eiden in a slightly different way than before. Yakumo showed Eiden the dark side hidden beneath him before, and now he shows Eiden the sorrow burdening him for as long as he lived.
Sharp needles prick Eiden’s chest with every choked sob, every sputtering cough Yakumo makes. Yakumo often cries, but this is the first time Eiden hears such a heartwrenching cry from Yakumo, and he’s lying if it didn’t affect him. He wants to kiss him and reassure Yakumo that no matter what, Eiden will never leave him. But it’s pointless for him to say it now, not until Yakumo calms down. Eiden kisses him wherever he can reach with his limited range of motion—his nape, his neck, his shoulders—hoping it’d give Yakumo slight comfort.
“F-Forgive me…” Yakumo eventually says, sniffling wetly, his voice rough and hoarse. “…I dirtied your gloves…” He seems to be trying his best to stop, but occasionally some sobs will break through. “I-I… Mr. Eiden… I—”
“Shh, take it easy, Yakumo. Don’t worry about the clothes, they can be cleaned.” Eiden presses a quick kiss to his neck, waiting for Yakumo to completely settles down. “Turn around and look at me?”
This time Yakumo obeys, turning around so now he’s facing Eiden. He keeps his head bowed low, refusing to look at Eiden directly. Eiden reaches out to cup Yakumo’s face and gently rubs on his cheek with his thumb—his other hand still entangled with Yakumo’s. He tests the water by tugging Yakumo’s face upwards, and when he feels no resistance, he continues until Yakumo’s eyes meet his.
“D-Don’t look at me, please…” Yakumo averts his eyes to the other side.
“Why not?” Eiden strokes Yakumo's cheek, wiping the glistening tears pooling in his eyes. “Don’t worry, you look fine as hell. A little bit of crying won’t make you look weird.”
“M-Mr. Eiden…” If Yakumo’s face wasn’t already flushed from his crying, he’d definitely blush. “…I-I’m sorry… for crying again…”
“Hey, now, remember what I said?” Eiden lightly scolds him and taps the tip of Yakumo’s red nose. “You can express gratitude in place of an apology. So, instead of apologizing for crying, you can say ‘thank you’.”
There’s a faint tug on the corner of Yakumo’s lips. “T-Thank you… Mr. Eiden, for… for letting me cry…”
“That’s better.” As a reward, Eiden kisses both of his eyes, his forehead, his nose, and last, his lips. Yakumo adorably scrunches up his nose, but he doesn’t push Eiden away. “Anyway, you don’t need to thank me. You're welcome to cry on me anytime you want, I won’t mind. In fact, I should be the one saying thank you to you.” Eiden holds both of Yakumo’s hands, warmer now from Eiden’s body heat, kissing the knuckles. “Thank you, Yakumo, for trusting me and showing me your pain.”
“M-Mr-Eiden…”
Yakumo ducks his head again in embarrassment, but Eiden is quick to lift his face. Eiden scoots closer and pulls him into another hug, rubbing his back up and down. His body is a lot warmer now and it eases the previous stinging in his heart. He feels Yakumo’s arms wrap around his back with the same fervor, those hands gripping the back of his clothes.
“Yakumo, I’d like for us to talk about it, about what happened back then…” Feeling Yakumo tensing up again, Eiden quickly follows it up. “Later, though. Now… we stay here and hug, okay? Or do you want to leave? It’s all up to you.”
The arms around Eiden’s back tighten. “…I want Mr. Eiden to… h-hug me…”
“Then we’ll stay and hug like this for a while. Let’s lie down, it’ll feel more comfortable.” Eiden chuckles and lies back, tugging Yakumo down with him. He quickly wraps his arms and legs around Yakumo’s body, uncaring that he’s still naked below the waist. One of his hands goes to Yakumo's hair, messing up the slicked-back hair. Yakumo truly looks handsome with his hair slicked back, leaving only several strands across his forehead.
“B-But the food…” Yakumo splutters in surprise but doesn’t resist and quickly goes limp and pliant on top of Eiden despite his weak protest. Ah, there is Eiden’s favorite noodle. “…and the taste testing…”
“They can wait. The mood of the cook is more important than the speed. If the cook’s mood wasn’t good, then the food won’t be delicious.” Eiden puts his hands just above Yakumo’s ass, lightly patting his rump in comforting motions. “You always cook with love, Yakumo. While I know you will always put your love into every cooking, you can't fully give your love when you're not loved, so… let me love you, Yakumo. Let me share my love and you can put your love into your cooking."
“If Mr. Eiden said so…” Yakumo snuggles deeper into Eiden’s embrace, his nose pressed on Eiden’s neck. His hot breath hits Eiden’s neck, and he mumbles. “Mr. Eiden is so warm…” A long, wet tongue darts out to lick the side of Eiden’s neck, close to his carotid artery. “…smells so good… Mr. Eiden’s blood…”
“We can’t do it now, but when the taste testing is done, I’ll let you have another taste of the ‘special blend’.” The last sentence is whispered in Yakumo's ear with the gemstone, causing Yakumo to shiver. Eiden takes the liberty of licking the shell of Yakumo’s ear where he knows the skin is sensitive due to the gemstone.
“…are you sure, Mr. Eiden?” Yakumo’s voice drops a bit lower, and Eiden shakes from it. “I might… hurt you like before…” He glances below at the bite marks he left on Eiden’s inner thigh.
“I’m sure.” Eiden cradles his pliant, adorable noodle to his chest. “We will talk first, then we can have a little fun all night. How about that?”
Yakumo nods, his face hidden by Eiden’s neck. “Then… Mr. Eiden, can we stay like this for a little while longer?” The cheek against Eiden’s skin is warmer than usual, and Eiden assumes Yakumo is blushing. “I-I want… I want to feel more of Mr. Eiden’s love…”
With a relieved, affectionate smile on his lips, Eiden lifts Yakumo's head to gaze straight into his eyes. Eiden caresses the slight swell beneath Yakumo’s eyes, seeing a similar smile appears on Yakumo’s lips, the tips of his eyes crinkling. It’s simply too beautiful that Eiden almost forgets to breathe for a second.
“I’ll give my love for you as long as you want, Yakumo…” Eiden brushes his lips on Yakumo’s parted ones—a tender, lingering kiss he hopes can convey his affection. “You just have to ask—mmh…”
He’s cut off by Yakumo’s cold lips on his, a tongue sneaking in to lap the inside of his mouth. Eiden instinctively opens his mouth wider to allow Yakumo easier access, sighing happily at the pleasant sensation. Yakumo is getting better and better at kissing, and he gives Eiden no chance to pull away; he’s Yakumo’s prey, and Yakumo can do anything to him. Every now and then Yakumo’s sharp fangs will prick Eiden’s tongue and lips, but not deep enough to make him bleed, merely adding to the sensation.
“Mr. Eiden…” Yakumo seems dazed, his pretty eyes half-lidded and cloudy. He dives down again to suck the oxygen out of Eiden’s lungs, kissing him hungrily like he wants to devour Eiden whole. “I like you so much…”
Eiden laughs and joins their foreheads together; they breathe slowly, deeply in the same air, sharing the same breath. Yakumo has been saying that a lot lately, and Eiden already prepared the best answer to that.
“I know.”
It’s enough for now. Eiden can’t say more than that, not until the right time.
‘Sorry, Yakumo, but you have to wait a little bit more, okay? After that, I promise I will give a proper reply.’