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So much was strange about Rhodes Island. Especially in comparison with Kazimierz- Flametail had gotten used to keeping her head down, catching sleep where she could. Here, she tosses and turns- the blankets are soft and unfamiliar, there are friendly faces in the halls, and she doesn't have to worry about the others. She does anyway, of course, and she can tell they're having trouble adapting, too- except possibly Iwona. That girl could get hit by a freight train and remark about how nice the wind feels. But for Sona, it's usually Justyna that gets them to sleep- somehow, with the window open, her flute feels like a warm hug, a bright promise. It's calming.
Sometimes, it's accompanied by a harmonica, playing faintly in the distance- it feels like home. The pleasant, warm melody Justyna plays bends, flows, and into it enters a sense of nostalgia, loss. Beautifully sad, a phrase Sona'd never used before. She asked once who was playing the other part, and Justyna simply shrugged- perhaps someone else on the landship knows the song.
Sona feels like the harmonica right now. Kazimierz may not have been kind to the Pinus Sylvestris Knightclub, but it was still home. While they all still had business there, when there was a goal every single day, a life to change, before she'd jumped out of the window, before... everything. They couldn't stay obviously, and when they were offered the choice to join Rhodes Island- well, it hadn't been much of a choice. Still, though, Sona kept wondering- was it the right one?
Well, obviously it had to be. They had warm beds, good food, a room of their own- and although it hadn't been long, they'd had some spars, some practice, some instruction from people who stood next to The Radiant Knight in combat. Sona'd quickly learned that there were plenty of legends themselves on Rhodes Island- whispered tales of scientists who could punch holes in steel, Sarkaz who could incinerate entire battlefields, Ursusian generals, The Radiant Knight (and her family!)- and these people weren't even the Elite operators! And ALL of them listened to the Doctors. Kal'tsit, obviously, but the Doctor- who needed no other title, who could lead a small force against hundreds and have them all come out unscathed, and who could occasionally be seen pouring boiling water into their throat (?). It hardly seemed like they could be in better hands.
But still, sometimes there was this fear- fear of the unknown, Sona figured- of not knowing where their lives would go. Of course, it could be counted as a small miracle that they HAD lives in the first place, so there was that at least. No more assassins chasing them, their Oripathy all stable and everything. Everyone was going to be fine. (She hadn't told the others about her own diagnosis- no point in worrying them.)
"Go to sleep," grumbles Ashley's voice, from the bottom bunk. Oops- maybe she'd been moving around too much. She liked being on top, it was like being in a tree, sort of- not really, but at least Justyna agreed with her. But that's right, she ought to sleep. Ashley has the right idea.
"Mmmh," Sona replies. It's not the most helpful reply, but Ashley seems to accept it, as Flametail rolls- as Sona rolls over. She needs to calm down and sleep. Ashley's right.
It still takes a while, though.
--
Sona's days are still plenty full. Pinus Sylvestris promised that they'd see every one of the refugees they'd brought aboard safely- somewhere, at least. Rhodes Island has the resources to relocate them, if not sustain them indefinitely, and every few days a couple of cars go out, and Flametail is always, without fail, there to see them off. She's also constantly helping the others- and she's taken on a bit of a parenting role, if unintentionally. Her biggest fan- a young Kuranta she'd befriended while they'd all been hiding out in the undersides of the plates- had a fear of needles, it'd turned out, and so Sona'd been with her to Medical a few times. It's all right! You've just got to be brave, and they'll help you get better. Brave like me? Hehe, that's right! As long as you keep fighting, you can always make things better!
The last visit, admittedly, had shaken her up a bit.
"I'm still scared of the needles," the girl admitted. "But at least the needles don't blow up, so it's all right." Internally, Flametail winced a little- bad memories. "I'm brave like you! Even if they're scary!"
"You've done a really good job, Ellie," Flametail grinned. "You didn't even make any noise this time!"
"I didn't, did I? I've really gotten better!" The Kuranta smiled, and that was what made it worth it. The poor girl had been through more than anyone her age should have, and seeing her smiling always made Sona's day.
"Hey, Miss Flametail?"
"Mhm? What's up, kiddo?"
"I'm still scared of the needles, but I'm trying to be brave. And you had to fight all those bad people, but you never even flinched! Are you afraid of anything?"
"Well, of course I am! Being brave isn't about never being scared," Flametail had replied. "I'm scared of plenty of things- the battles I had to fight were always scary, but the point of being brave is, you still do things anyway. You're being plenty brave!"
But that question had stuck with her. Are you afraid of anything? Of course I am. A lot less, now that I know you're safe, and Ashley and everyone are safe, and everyone else is finding new homes...
But that's everyone else. Once everyone's settled in, then what? I can't go back to Kazimierz, of course...
--
"Am I scared of anything? Pfft, what's the point in being scared?" In retrospect, it was a little silly of her to ask Iwona. "If you're scared, it just stops you from going forward. So just don't be scared. It's worked for me so far," she nods.
"Didi," Justice Knight adds. "My records indicate that fear is an instinctual reaction that assists in self-preservation."
"Well, bugger that! If we all just listened to our instincts, wouldn't we just be running away all the time?"
"Didi. If you had run away from the fights in Kazimierz..." Justice Knight pauses. "Didi. This requires processing."
"Maybe it helps to think about why you're scared? Sometimes you need to run away, we did plenty of it anyway," Sona points out.
"Eh, I'll leave the thinking to you," Iwona shrugs. "You always get the right answer somehow. No idea how you do it."
"Well, I have to admit luck has played its own part," Sona laughs.
But she's been thinking about this one for a while. She's stuck.
--
"So long as you don't go throwing yourself out of any more windows, not really." Ashley is never going to let her live that one down, is she?
"Hey, it was a one time thing! It's not like I had a better choice," Sona protests.
Ashley grumbles. "It had better be. Apart from that, though. Even if the assassins know where we are, I doubt they'd try anything here. There's not really much to be afraid of, especially with the people that are around. Why do you ask?"
"Ellie asked about it, and I was kind of wondering about everyone else, really. We've been through a lot, but it never really felt like there was time to be afraid, you know? Nervous, maybe, never afraid."
"Which is why you weren't afraid of throwing yourself out of a window."
"C'mon, I knew you were there! It turned out all right, didn't it?"
"It might not next time. Can be scary to think about."
"Ashleeeyyyyyy!"
--
"You." Justyna takes the longest to reply out of all of them, and yet Sona knows her well enough to wait for the rest of the answer. "I think... we're done being knights now. In Kazimierz. But we're still the knightclub," she adds, quietly as she does. "I don't want us to stop being the knightclub. I like you."
"Aww, Justyna," Sona replies, a smile finding its way onto her face. "We like you too. I don't think we're going to stop being Pinus Sylvestris any time soon, don't you worry."
"We're all friends," Justyna begins. Sona nods, but there's always an explanation afterwards with Justyna. "You're fast. With your sword, and also with your brain. I know you always make things all right. And if you can't, we'll help you. We're friends."
Sona opens her mouth to speak, and then closes it, because her brain hasn't caught up yet. She sighs, and relaxes a little, tension going out of her shoulders. "Thank you for that. That helps right now."
"What are you afraid of?" Justyna asks. It makes sense she'd be the one to figure out why Sona'd ask that in the first place.
"What do we do once everyone's relocated? Once we've gotten everyone to safety, gotten them homes, like we said we would when we brought them here?"
"Pinus Sylvestris has always helped people."
"Always. And there's a lot we can do still, it's just... I don't know how we do that now."
"Rhodes Island also helps people. Like us."
There's a long moment of silence while Flametail considers that. The plan had been to get people here for treatment- staying around hadn’t occurred to her. Of course, she hadn’t been aware they were anything more than a pharmaceutical company until recently, so…
"You think we should become Operators?"
"We go where we can still help people. So do they." From Justyna, bird of few words, that's a ringing endorsement. And also somewhat surprising- because Justyna rarely voices her opinions. She rarely voices much at all, but she seems to believe in Rhodes Island. And if the proposal is that they work here...
"Well, I guess I could get used to this life," Flametail smiles. She hadn't really gotten around to thinking about it yet, but they're really doing the same thing, aren't they? "I think you might have the right idea. Let's see what the others think tonight, then!"
--
They hadn’t had a strategy meeting in a surprisingly long time. Outside of Kazimierz, it wasn’t really necessary. This time, Sona opened with the usual: What are we going to do next? Unlike usual, they didn’t have an obvious answer today.
Ashlock admitted that she didn’t know. That it had always sort of felt like a dream, rather than an actual physical goal, to get this far, which meant she’d never really thought about what would come next.
Iwona was all for giving a beating to some people who’d been problems in Kazimierz, but accepted that it probably wasn’t possible. In that case, why not travel and try to help people as they had in Kazimierz? Knock some heads together to do it?
Justice Knight beeped. She wasn’t sure what to do other than the daily tasks she’s assigned, but she’s sure she’ll be up for it!
Justyna admitted that she didn’t really mind. On the condition, of course, that they stay together as Pinus Sylvestris.
Which left Sona to go last.
None of them had the option of going home. Each with varying stages of Oripathy, their childhood homes wouldn’t take them. Kazimierz was closed to them. Which, for four natives, didn’t feel right. But it was the way things were, and they had to figure out what to do with them.
They. Sona hadn’t really expected to make it this far when she signed up to be a Knight. Until she met Ashley, she admitted, she’d never really thought more of it than her own survival. If she could just live long enough, she was sure she’d be able to find a way out. But with Pinus Sylvestris around, it stopped being about just surviving. For the first time, she thought they might have a chance of actually changing something, with people they cared about and trusted. And they did. They couldn’t go back and do more, not in Kazimierz- but maybe elsewhere. How would they get there? Well, it just so happens they know a few people who have the same goals as they do- Rhodes Island. But even if it’s a bit on the bigger side, they’ll stay together. They’re not just a team any more- the Pinus Sylvestris Knightclub is family, is home. Because nowhere else can be.
The proposal that they become Operators is generally accepted. This, Sona reckons, is probably the first day of rather a lot.
--
Sona's days are still plenty busy. Most of the folks they'd brought with them had found more accepting homes, though that needn't be a particularly high bar. Ellie'd been practically adopted by Rhodes Island, and she'd made a number of friends her own age (some of which were certified combat Operators themselves! Shocking on a couple levels, but impressive nonetheless). There had been a lot of paperwork when they first applied to be Operators, but that was mostly behind them- now they only needed to file mission reports. Pinus Sylvestris generally still operated as a squad- often being the first ones in on search and rescue missions, or leading the charge in others. The Doctor, Sona had to admit, was every bit the tactician the rumors said- reinforcements arrived exactly when they were needed, combat lines moved and changed midfight to deal with enemies and play to the Operators' strengths. They'd even come back to participate in a special event being held in Kawalerielki, where a small group defended against multiple waves of tournament knights- they'd defeated everyone, from the Roar and Bloodboil Knightclubs to Left-hand Knight and even The Blood Knight they'd always looked up to! And, it had to be noted, that Rhodes had promised the winnings would go towards the efforts they'd started to help Infected in Kazimierz. They'd already made a difference.
They'd also started to get used to Rhodes Island itself. They'd always be Pinus Sylvestris, but they'd made new connections, trained with the best of the best from monks to... well, Blaze, and everyone in between. They were eating better, sleeping better, and the others didn't have to worry about Oripathy any more. Pinus Sylvestris was going places, and they still got to help people!
Sona still hadn’t mentioned the crystals slowly growing near her waist. Slowly, it had to be said- not being a Caster, she wasn’t aggravating them more than she ought, but they were still spreading, despite Rhodes Island’s treatment.
It was a little disappointing, really. When she thought about it. She’d achieved her goal- they’d saved a whole ton of people from Kawalerielki. Only a few of them had really serious Oripathy, and… well, she’d saved everyone except for herself, in the long run.
It wasn't fair. She'd hid out somewhere belowdecks to cry a couple times- where Ashley and Iwona couldn't find her and Justyna's winds wouldn't give her away. Like now. She'd finally found a new family, after the Catastrophe, and she was happy with them, and she'd fought, they'd fought through so much to make it here, just for her to find out she was too late, she was already on a timer. It was a second Catastrophe. Through no fault of her own, she was going to be separated from her family again, and there was nothing she could do about it.
But surely by this point she'd earned a little selfishness. She didn't have to tell them, and she didn't want to. All she wanted to do was stay as she was- Pinus Sylvestris' irrepressible (if not, by her own account, fearless) leader. She might not live as long as the others, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to make the most of her time, be happy making them happy.
Yeah.
She wipes the tears away with her arm. Time to head back to the dorm. Training's soon, and Iwona'd have her for dinner if she missed sparring today- she'd been wanting a duel since they became Operators.
She opens the dorm door to a bit of a ruckus. Iwona and Ashley are on about something again, and Fartooth is sitting up on her bunk watching.
"Oi, fluffy, you're almost late!" Iwona exclaims as Sona enters. "C'mon, let's go- I'm gonna win this time!"
Sona just grins. "Only if you can hit me this time!"
Iwona's indignation gets a chuckle from Ashley and a smile from Justyna. Even if she's being yelled at right now, Sona is happy- this is home.