Chapter Text
Aloy pursued knowledge with a singular hunger. Facts. Information. It was not just that it was useful. It was that the consumption and integration of knowledge was akin to a core function of her entire being. Like her mind was its own machine, serving its purpose.
She would never take for granted that she was... unusual in how quickly she could grasp the technology of the Old Ones. She could not blame anyone else for not being able to do the same. Perhaps it was some lingering trace of Elisabet Sobeck in her mind. The genetic structure of a 'genius intellect', as the woman had been described. In truth, Aloy was not really concerned with why it happened, only that it did, and it was useful. 'Science' and 'technology' were things she just understood on some fundamental level. Her brain 'clicked', to use an Old World term.
People on the other hand. That took longer. Not just because she grappled with ideological layers of culture and conduct that were obfuscated in layers of accepted normalcy, but also because people themselves often did not understand why they did the things they did. Even as Aloy rapidly understood that the Oseram formed their societal structures around manufacturing and trade, and that the Utaru created their ways by mimicking the lifecycle of plants, they, in turn, struggled to understand these things about themselves. Aloy found herself more enlightened about the people than the people themselves, sometimes.
It was just... logical, to her, and it was often illogical to her how resolutely they, themselves, refused to see it. Over time, Aloy found it simpler to just not get into it, in all honesty. When she spoke to people, she found herself using words they would understand, words that would not make them feel challenged or confronted. It just made things easier for her. The Nora. The Carja. Banuk. Oseram. Utaru. Challenging the way they did things - even by making them think more about them - just made her hit a cliff face of immovable hostility.
But with the Tenakth she found herself curious. Intrigued not purely by the people, but by the way they unabashedly did and shared everything. Food. Hunting. Opinions. They spoke readily about their culture and shared it easily with her - but they also did not try and change or convert her. No, this was how they did it, why they did it, and if she accepted or did not, well. That was on her. She found it... refreshing, in all honesty. The Tenakth were an honesty that Aloy could appreciate. She could ask, and they would tell her. They would not try and force the ways of the Ten upon her, but would speak about them with reverence that did not set her teeth on edge. Perhaps it was because they were people, a legacy of warriors. Not the Sun, or... or a Mountain.
So when Aloy had questions about the Tenakth that she, herself, could not ask, she found it quite stark. Because the obstacle, in this instance, was her, not them. Namely, it was the way in which Tenakth treated intimacy, which was singular amongst all the peoples she had met. The first time Aloy saw the open and unashamed passion with which the Tenakth loved, it was simply something she averted her eyes from politely as she moved past. She presumed that they had not expected to be seen, twined together in the furs of the sleeping area as left the hunting trader at Arrowhand. It was when she had first truly arrived to the Clan Lands, descending from the chill air of the Base and heading to the searing desert further west.
It had been quite late. Or early, rather. Few Tenakth were awake at this hour except the guard. They had roused the trader when they saw her leading her Charger to the front of their encampment, laden with parts from Bellowbacks, Ravagers, and even a Snapmaw heart. She also drew a map to where the machine corpses were, letting them set out to claim them before the sun rose too high and the Glinthawks spied the scrap.
As she was leaving, Aloy heard the sounds of passion. She did not even see who they were, in truth. Her hunter's ear picked up soft gasps and low moans that she had come to associate with open-mouthed kisses and wandering hands. Easy to quickly step away from and give them their privacy. An intrusion of a stranger who did not know their customs.
The second time she saw it, it was far less ignorable. They were not in the open, but nor were they hidden away, tucked as they were toward the back of the cook fires of Scalding Spear as Aloy had stopped to procure some meals for the road. A woman was sitting astride a man's lap the way Aloy sat atop a Charger. The Tenakth woman, her face splashed in lurid colours of the Desert Clan, had her arms twined around her partner’s neck. Her fingers were coiled in his short topknot as she guided his lips to hers with hungry kisses. Their face paint smeared together in a way for which they clearly did not care, lost as they were to the passions between them. Aloy’s eye had been drawn by the movement more than the sound and she realised that not only was she atop him, he was inside her.
Aloy's eyes widened as she averted her gaze swiftly, this time feeling her face blaze like the sun above. She thanked the cook for the supplies - a cook who seemed utterly unbothered by what was happening less than ten paces away - and walked very quickly from the shelter into the blazing sun.
Again, at Salt Bite, close enough to the entrance that anyone walking in would at least hear them. A squad of three about to go out on patrol had disappeared toward the back of Sheerside Climb. Aloy had wanted to gain some more information from the area and instead stumbled on them stripping their armour. Two were engaged in a hot kiss whilst the third was slipping to her knees before them. They spared a glance toward her as she backed out sharply, apologising.
A lounging couple atop a rock outside of the Grove. Hot, open-mouthed kisses from a victor in the Arena as her male lover scooped her up. A returning patrol from Lowland's Path had two men chasing one another into a more private area, shedding armour as they went.
Not only were the Tenakth were utterly unabashed not only in where they were intimate, they also had a great casualness about being witness to it. Calls of “If you’re done in there, I would like to bathe,” or “That sounded like a fun time,” or “I told you he was good with his mouth,” quickly washed away any illusions Aloy had about the qualms the Tenakth had with their intimacy practices.
It made her realise that she, herself, had some lingering biases about intimate practices, influenced by Rost and the Nora, and reinforced by the various cultures she had encountered. Aloy realise she was just as beholden to certain 'normal' ideologies. It was so deeply and distinctly unlike anything she had experienced in the other lands. The Carja acted with what GAIA had told her was called ‘decorum’. A sociocultural norm in which there was an expected ‘politeness’ about something. Which for Carja was not to discuss it at all, apparently. Or, if they did, it seemed to be shared by men between men. Oseram were almost the opposite. Almost. They talked about it crudely and without shame, but it remained sequestered away, out of sight.
The Nora, conversely, didn’t even discuss it. It was seen as a necessary step toward motherhood, a role in which the male mate played. But the idea of such unabashed and passion was… unheard of. At least as far as Aloy knew. Rost… Rost had never spoken to her of such things. When she started her monthly bleeds as a teen, he had explained the point, about how they signaled she was ready to bear a child. He told her how to catch and clean the blood and keep it from interfering with her life. But that was all.
The Utaru were the first people who seemed open with their affections, but even then the kiss that Aloy had seen between Zo and Varl felt like she was spying on something private. It was nowhere near the hot, hungry, insistent meeting of mouths that often heralded Tenakth disappearing into another room together.
Aloy realised that this was a part of that word that GAIA used. ‘Sociocultural’. Not just the way of doing things, but the established ‘norm’ of it. A structure of society supported by all of those around. Whilst there were outliers - like Varl who was happy to speak to her, or Talanah who desperately wanted to hunt machines - most simply conformed and rejected those who did not.
Normally Aloy just accepted cultural practices. In long searches through Old One information, she learned that the way people were was motivated by a combination of necessity and belief. Power structures could clad themselves in the colours of necessity - such as the Red Raids, as heinous as they were. But human creatures, in cultural aspects, always felt that they were doing what they were doing because they needed to.
For the first time, however, Aloy found herself curious about why the Tenakth were the way they were. Nora. Carja. Oseram. Even the Utaru. They had traces of one another. Privacy. Secrecy. ‘Decorum’ as the word was.
But the Tenakth…
It was a thought that came to her again and again, when she was camping out beneath the stars of the Clan Lands. Such as on this night, alone, rested, and recovering from a machine fight, heading south to retrieve POSEIDEN. The land was rife with Oseram and she had found herself scampering back and forth to aid them in their various ventures. She had managed to trade, in between saving the intrepid adventurers from their own mishaps.
Now, she lay beneath the night sky in a Tenakth lookout camp, watching the stars above her. So often she would lie beneath the same stars on the cliffs of the Sacred Lands and look at the same stars. Yet now they felt so different. Somewhere, out there, was Sirius, the place Far Zenith had tried to settle and, for some unknowable reason, been forced away.
Lying beneath a foreign sky, staring at the familiar constellations, Aloy indulged in impulse. Her Focus blossomed across her vision briefly as she called up the private frequency.
“Kotallo?”
A momentary pause.
+Commander.+ His voice was not husky from sleep. Clear, bright, but slightly surprised. She realised that this was the first time she had simply opened a link with him. Another pause. +This is a private… frequency, I believe is the term.+
“Yeah,” she said, nodding though he could not see her. “How are you finding the Base?" She had not seen him since they had parted ways at the Grove, and he had ventured to the East to find the Base.
+You do not use the Focus for these kinds of questions, Commander,+ he gently chided. +Is there something concerning you?+
Aloy felt called out in a way she had not been in a while. Not since Rost, really. "Yeah, I guess I don't. I was… I had some questions.”
+Astounding.+ His voice was warm with mirth.
Despite herself, she smiled deeply at his usual, taciturn response. She could almost see the flick of his eyebrows upwards in mock surprise. “Am I disturbing you?”
+I am capable of multitasking. I was reading some analytical reports on machine structure so that I might give it to the other Marshals and the Chaplains. If we cannot distribute Focuses to my people at this stage, I can use my access to one to advantage them.+
Her smile deepened. Ever the practical man. “I guess that’s subject-appropriate then. I have some questions about your people. Your… customs.”
There was a pause, one where he seemed to be doing something.
“Wait,” Aloy said quickly, sitting up as a spike of anxiety kerneled like a scorpion sting in her gut. “Is that not-”
+I have closed the reports and sat down,+ he interrupted. +Discussion of something so important deserves my full attention.+
For a moment, Aloy marveled on how this man never grated on her. His matter-of-fact manner of speaking. His taciturn nature. Even when he was churlish and surly in their initial meeting. None of it made her bite down on her back teeth the way every single other man had in their meeting. Even Rost, as much as she had loved him, had been a focal point of abject frustration as he denied her constant desire to learn more, her desire to question, when he demanded she be accepting of empty truths.
All others had been like that. Trying to pin her down when she wanted to surge ahead. Demanding patience when there was action to be taken. How they could be locked to such narrow worlds, she would never know.
Not for the first time, she realised she had done the inverse to Kotallo. She was the one who had forced him to remain still when he gnashed for action. Still, he had not eaten at her patience. Even as he paced like a caged and frustrated ravager on the cliffs of Stone Crest, chafing at her endless questions, he had not annoyed her. He still answered everything she had asked. Quickly. Brusquely. Efficiently. She realised she appreciated that quality in him. No wasted words or actions.
Aloy was taken aback by a moment of introspection. She wondered, for a moment, why that was. What was it about him that never made her feel that discomfort? Like her armour slightly too small or furs slightly too coarse?
+Commander?+
She didn’t realise that her thoughts had wandered so badly until his voice cut in. Normally thoughts - a processing speed that was exceptional - catalysed quickly behind her eyes, and were filed away for later consideration. But this had stretched out to an extent that even Kotallo had felt the need to prompt her back to conversation.
“I was just… Nevermind.” She scooted back against the rock wall behind her. “I think this might require some context.”
+If you wish.+
“The Nora are sequestered behind mountains. It is how they staved off the Red Raids for so long.”
+That alone has made me admire your people.+
Her stomach twisted at his words. 'Your people'. She shoved it down and forged ahead. “The Sacred Lands are exceptionally guarded. Private. None come in, none go out.”
He gave no indication he detected her disquiet at his words. +Indeed. I have been reading GAIA’s notes on the Nora.+
“You have?” Her surprise cut through her train of thought. “Why?”
+A multitude of reasons. They are an unknown factor, and a good soldier seeks to close those gaps. Knowledge can change the tide of a battle.+
She felt her cheek twist in a smirk, appreciating his candidness. “Like knowing machine weaknesses.”
+Indeed.+ His voice was warm with that not-smile he did whenever he was pleased or amused, as rare as that seemed to be. +I... I must also confess a curiosity about you.+
“Me?” Again, he surprised her.
His voice was matter-of-fact, like he was recounting a patrol report. +You are exceptional, Aloy. I thought, perhaps, something of the Nora would explain it, but I am beginning to now realise you are singular.+
Aloy made a sound of chagrin as she shifted backwards against the rock face behind her, lifting one leg to brace her arm over her knee. “I mean, I am literally a clone. And not even the only one anymore.” Her thoughts strayed to Beta, sullenly sulking in the belly of the Base and nattering on endlessly about how hopeless everything was. It took an almost physical effort to stamp down her frustration with the other clone.
+I understand this term, now. GAIA has helped me learn… ‘genetic structure’ and how it forms the basis of all organic creatures. How Elizabet Sobeck’s genetic structure was used by another GAIA to make you and Beta+
Aloy was impressed at how quickly he was absorbing information. “You learn fast.”
+I must. To be useful to my people. And to you.+
For some reason, she felt the need to reassure him. “You don’t need to have this knowledge to be useful.”
+Perhaps,+ he hedged in a way that made it very clear he was just indulging her and that he did not truly believe it, himself. +It makes conversation with you smoother. You are less frustrated. I prefer this.+
Aloy was quiet for a moment. Then she simply said the only thing that really came to mind. “I appreciate that.”
+I am glad.+ Matter-of-fact again. But somehow… warmer. +You wished to ask of my people,+ he reminded.
“Ah, yes. I got… side-tracked. Sorry.” He had just been sitting there waiting for her to have a damn point, after all. That warranted an apology, did it not?
Kotallo, it seemed, disagreed. +You should not apologise for that. You absorb information the way parched desert sands absorb rain. Chasing it with a singular hunger that even a machine cannot match. If you took it in any slower, I think you would rend yourself apart with your own frustration.+
Once again Aloy was struck mute by his astute observation. She had known him so briefly, and yet he was so able to eloquently and succinctly describe the best - and worst - part of herself. She made a small sound of amused incredulity, smiling slightly. How this man continued to surprise her.
+Have I amused you with my words?+ A gentle poke at her, in jest.
“No,” she murmured, still smiling. “No. I have just never heard anyone describe me like that.”
+Like what?+
“... Like it’s a good thing.”
+People do not say good things about you?+ Now the amusement was deepening to something else. Something closer to the tone he used when talking to Tekkoteh.
“No, no!” She rushed to soothe him. Her hands waved in the air, like he was in front of her and not miles away in the Base. “Not about me. They say a lot of good things about me. I meant about that part of me. The hunger for knowledge. People in my past would say that I was overreaching. That I should be content with what I know…” She trailed off, remembering the hundreds - maybe thousands - of angry conversations with Rost on this exact topic.
+I disagree with whoever spoke these words. Your pursuit of knowledge and hunger for understanding has saved the entirety of the Carja people. Saved the world, from what I understand. It has led you here. Saved my Chief. It may be the reason we can defend ourselves against Far Zenith. This should be encouraged. Enabled. This is what I seek to do for you.+
Warmth spread in Aloy’s chest at his words. Her eyes prickled for some reason and she blinked rapidly to chase the unpleasant sensation away. This time, Kotallo seemed content to let the silence stretch.
“We got side-tracked again,” she laughed, and it sounded forced, even to her.
+We did.+
“Let me refocus my thoughts.” Aloy took a deep breath, trying to bring herself back to the reason she had started the call. “As I was saying, the Sacred Lands are very sequestered. The only thing that was harder to move in and out than people was knowledge. The ways of the Nora are… highly venerated. Everything else is just wrong.” She stirred the dirt with her finger, trying to mentally find her way back to what had started the conversation. “Wait, let me backtrack.”
+Of course.+ Infinite patience. Calm. Soothing.
She was annoyed at herself for being so incoherent and forced herself to be more mature. “I called you because I have been noticing things that the Tenakth do that other cultures do not. It makes me curious about some things, I guess. For Nora, motherhood is vital. Important. Some people pair, but the role of the male is to facilitate motherhood and protect mothers. Varl’s mother, Sonja, was kind of unique in her role as War Chief. But really she was kind of just a fierce mother to all of her people. Defender and protector.”
Realising she was starting to get distracted again, Aloy scowled to refocus. She had never before encountered such a phenomenon when she was talking to someone. Just meandering from topic to topic. “I have been noticing that the Tenakth are somewhat unique in the way they are… intimate, I suppose. Together with one another." She was rambling. "I was just curious that the Carja, the Oseram, everyone else, they seem to have very similar cultural norms around intimacy and…”
+Sex?+ Amusement laced the single syllable, as though her dancing around it was deeply funny to him.
“Yeah,” she laughed, not sure why she had hesitated to say the word. Stupid. “Sex. I was wondering why are Tenakth like that? No one else is like this.”
Kotallo’s response was immediate. +We live short, violent lives. Passion is a part of our being. In everything we do. This is just another part of it.+
Considering the lead-up, Aloy felt utterly blindsided by the simplicity of the response. She expected something… more? More nuanced? Longer?
She could feel Kotallo's head tilt through the Focus. +You are displeased with my answer.+
“No. Not at all. It’s just…” She made a sound of embarrassed mirth, feeling her neck flush with embarrassment. “I guess it makes me feel silly that I had to lead into it with so much. I could have just asked from the onset.”
+You could have. But you did not. It does not matter. I enjoyed the conversation with you.+
So did I, she realised, smiling a little ruefully. She had never talked with anyone else like this. Conversations were short, to the point, and rare. Usually, Aloy was just… alone with her thoughts. And her Focus. “Uhm. Yeah. Thank you, Kotallo. I'll let you get back to... uh. Whatever you were doing.”
This time he was the one who paused. A silence stretching out that was pregnant with some unspoken emotion.
“Kotallo?”
+Tenakth are passionate people,+ he said abruptly, like she had asked a question. +A passion that translates into everything we do. Hunt. Fight. Wage war. Love. Have sex. Because our lives have been so short for so long, we have not had time to come up with cultural norms that would… dissuade this. Why would we be ashamed to hide we are excellent bedmates? Why would we hide that we are attracted to someone? We never knew when the next day would be our last. So we live in the now.+
Aloy felt blindsided by not only the robustness of his answer, but his thorough introspection. This was the first time he had volunteered so much knowledge without her having to pull the conversation with questions.
+The entanglements you see are likely prompted by some context of passion you have not been witness to. Perhaps they dueled and the heightened blood brought their desire to the fore. Perhaps they had just had a near-death experience that made them want to capitalise on their lusts, realising that the opportunity might slide away. Sometimes, some people are actually adversarial, a passion that can manifest in some interestingly physical ways.+
Aloy was struck silent for a moment. “Wait, people can... can want to be together when they dislike one another?”
He hummed through the Focus, and her eyes widened at the sound. +Yes. It is a singular experience.+
“Have you-” She shook her head. “Ah. Wait. I shouldn't-”
+Yes.+
Aloy’s face burned hot as her mind was abruptly flooded with images of Kotallo’s broad chest, his lips pressed against someone else’s in a way that was… violent. Passionate. Hungry. But not because of love. Fingers tangled in hair the way she had seen some Tenakth do. A leg draped over his hip as he made a sound that she had heard slithering from some men’s throats.
Aloy immediately felt something coil low in her belly at the thought. She did not know how to describe the sensation. A tingle that traveled through her nerves and all the way to her toes. Ricocheting back up to settle at the base of her spine. She didn’t realise her mouth was open until her tongue was dry and she was forced to swallow.
+You have never heard of this concept before.+ His voice made her jump, like she had been caught stealing sweetbread from a Matriarch.
“N-no,” she murmured, pressing her hands to her blazing cheeks. Why was her face so hot? Why had this happened so fast? "It was just so strange to see people so open with their intimacy. And sometimes with more than one person..."
+I am aware that Utaru take single partners. Tenakth are not concerned with such a thing as a tradition. As long as everyone is honest with one another. SomeTenakth only take one lover at a time. Some take several. Some take a partner only once, and others pair permanently.+ There was an audible shrug in his tone. +The agreement between those involved is the requirement. Not the conditions themselves.+
“I guess there’s a lot I don’t know about this.” Did she sound breathless? Or was she imagining it?
+I am happy to educate you further if you wish.+
“I… What?” Her throat constricted, eyes widening. That whip-crack sensation slashed again like a severed cable in a machine, leaving white-hot heat very low in her belly. Where had this conversation gone? How had it gotten here? “How… what?”
Kotallo’s deep voice held threads of confusion. +If you have more questions.+
Right. Right. Right. RIGHT. Aloy wanted to smack herself across the face, but she knew the sound would translate through her Focus. She wanted desperately to dismiss the images from her mind. She had to look this man in the eye eventually. “Yes. I mean no. Not right now. Maybe later.” She put her fingers to her forehead, imploring her own body to settle so she could think clearly. “Why did you… where did all that information come from?”
+You normally ask more questions. You did not this time. I thought that I would assuage any concerns that you might have offended me by offering what I thought you would want to know.+ A pause stretched in the silence of the Focus. +Have I overstepped?+
Endlessly practical Kotallo. Pragmatic. Wanting to be what his Commander needed. She was overreading.
“No,” Aloy said with a soft laugh. “No, Kotallo. I am just… I don’t know. I am surprised. Pleased. That you seem to just know what I need.”
+It is a good soldier’s duty to ensure their Commander is able to perform her duty to the fullest. A part of that is anticipating her needs. +
She blew out a breath of air, feeling her thundering heartbeat start to slow. Yes. Of course. This was an exchange of information. This was always what it was. “Thank you, Kotallo.”
+Would you like to hear more ?+
A pause. “More…?”
+About why my people are like this. I must confess, I have not given it much thought in this regard. It is prompting me to consider things I have not before.+ He paused. +It's enjoyable.+
Is it? Aloy felt her eyes brightening despite herself. To find someone else willing to delve into their own people, to understand their actions, for the first time in her entire life. Aloy forced herself to speak calmly even as her heart danced with excitement. “If you want to.”
+Before Hekarro, Tenakth lived violent lives. Violent and brief. The average years that a Tenakth would live would be forty, perhaps fifty before they passed. This has meant that people who are older are... rarer. Their experience is treasured. But it also means that we are encouraged to indulge in wants and desires in the same way we are encouraged to train with a blade or a spear or a bow. It is a part of our passions, and should be cultivated. Safely, however. Those who have great experience guide the younger generations. This is a part of all elements of our culture. Even though Clans are led by the strongest, they must seek the counsel of the most experienced.+
Aloy nodded, though he could not see her. “And thus the Chaplain role. They have lived long enough to be able to impart wisdom. Like Dekka. That’s not dissimilar to the Nora. The older people are, the more revered. Although for the Nora, it comes with motherhood.”
+How do you mean?+
Aloy exhaled shakily. An unpleasant topic, even if she was trying to be factual about it. “For Nora, being a mother is the most important class structure. So our leaders, the Matriarchs, they are the most… mothered? I guess? Their children have had children, which makes them senior. They have lived longest, and thus wisdom is cherished.”
+Only the women?+
“Yes.”
Kotallo grunted but offered no more of his thoughts on the matter. +I suppose we are not so dissimilar in many cases. The Enduring is said to perhaps be the oldest amongst us. Revered for the amount of knowledge that comes with such a role.+
The young woman smiled as she picked at some dirt on one of her boots. “If my track record is any indication, I’m sure I will meet them eventually.”
+I have no doubt. I heard that you returned recently to the Sky Clan arena and immediately bested Virakk and Erayyo.+ His voice rumbled with some deep and unknowable emotion. +An impressive feat. I am disappointed I did not get to see it.+
“Sorry, we were a bit busy the last time we were there,” she laughed. “And I beat the pit master in Scalding Spear as well when I first arrived.”
Kotallo’s voice was warm with amusement. +You do not waste time.+
“I don’t have time to waste.”
He ‘hmm’d the way he did when he was thinking.
Aloy glanced up at that, “What?”
+Another time. Though it may pain you to wait.+
Aloy made a sound of indignation, eyes widening. “Are you teasing me?”
+I would not dream of mocking my Commander.+
He was absolutely teasing her. It brought a wide grin to her face.
+Besides, if we indulge every tangent that comes up, you will never learn anything of my people.+ His voice was still gently chiding, filled with warmth.
“Alright, alright, fair,” Aloy acquiesced with a laugh. “I guess that also explains why I have never heard of a Tenakth referring to someone as a ‘wife’ or ‘husband’,” Aloy added, mostly thinking aloud.
+I have heard these words. I do not understand them.+
“Ah.” Aloy quickly explained, “A wife is a female partner and a husband is the male partner of a… joined union, I suppose. They pledge to one another to only be together, and to only have children with one another. Although Nora call them 'mates'."
There was a long silence this time.
She scowled, wondering why this was his sticking point. “What?”
+Is this… a common practice in the east? I thought this might be unique to the Utaru.+
His voice was strange as he said it, making Aloy’s scowl deepen. “Yes. I am not sure about the Oseram in particular, but for Nora and Carja it is an important practice before childbearing."
Incredulity filled his reply. +Before childbearing? So one must find a partner to pledge to before they can even have children?+
He was definitely disapproving of this custom. “Yeees?” She drew the word out, brow wrinkling in thought.
+It sounds like a waste of time and quite pointless.+ The flat dismissal surprised her. +What if one of these pledged no longer wishes to be with the other?+
She was struck by his words, and the fact that she had never asked this herself. Becoming pledged in the Nora lands was simply… the way. She had never considered another possibility. Another instance of her falling into the sociocultural trap without realising it. “I… I don’t know.”
+And what if one of these pledged wished to be with another?+
Another very good question. “Well. I don’t know.”
+And is there a term for when two wives or two husbands wish to be together?+
She had never considered this and she shrugged helplessly, though he could not see. "I guess they would just be... two wives and two husbands, I suppose." She was unused to being challenged like this. Was this what it was like being on the receiving end of her endless questions? It was a little unpleasant, that was for sure.
+Hm. A strange practice. To have to find one partner to have children with. To only be partnered to have children. If we had to forge partners... well. I don't think that would be productive. We keep our number strong by ensuring that we have a healthy population of young, who are communally raised.+
“Never know when a parent might die, I suppose…” she murmured. “Or both.”
+Indeed, as mine did when I was young. Tekotteh largely raised me after that, which is common for Commanders to do.+
Aloy found herself nodding. “Drakka is also paying close attention to the Desert Clan children. It makes sense.”
+I am glad the ways of my people meet your approval.+
She rewarded his droll humor with a soft laugh.
Kotallo continued, +As a result of our encouraged intimacy, we find our ranks quickly replenished with children. This is another reason we do not dissuade coming together like this. Whilst intimacy between people of the same gender does not yield a child, it maintains a strength that can in turn create strong children.+
“I shouldn’t in any way be surprised that you want to make strong children,” Aloy murmured.
+Because we are Tenakth?+ he said with a deep drawl of someone who has had to endure Erend’s incessant reminders of the rumours of the Tenakth to the east. +Because we dance naked under the moon and drink the blood of our enemies?+
Despite herself, Aloy laughed. A bright, delighted sound. “No! Because you have Slitherfangs camping outside your strongholds and Clawstriders prowling your hunting grounds. In Carja lands, they had one Thunderjaw that was so infamous they gave it a name. Redmaw.”
+You killed it, didn’t you,+ said Kotallo in a tone that brooked very little doubt.
Aloy snort-laughed. “I had help.” She omitted that there was a second Thunderjaw that she had also slain, to the East of Meridian. That one had been alone.
+I’m sure you did.+
The young Nora huntress was smiling to herself now, her heart lifted by the conversation. “Thank you for talking to me, Kotallo.”
+I do not believe I need thanks for something that benefits me more than you. I am glad to talk to you about my people and you have given me much to think on. However, I am curious why you are asking me and not browsing the knowledge that GAIA possesses.+
She had asked herself this question many times with many other people. The answer was, therefore, easy. “There is a word that I have learned in my browsing of the Old One knowledge. ‘Clinical’. It means… sterile. Clean. Stripped of anything undesirable. It gives a good sense of something from an analytical perspective. But sometimes you need to talk to people to understand them. To know why they are the way they are. People… people always have a reason for what they do. Even if the reason doesn’t make sense to me.”
+Well. I am happy to help.+ He paused. Long, this time. +May I ask a question, Aloy?+
She smiled deeply at the way he said it, as though she had any right to refuse after this. “I think it’s only fair, Kotallo.”
+You do not refer to yourself as Nora. Why is this?+
Her smile dropped. Something painful drove deep into Aloy’s sternum. A spear twisted to crack her ribs apart and expose the fleshy, vulnerable meat within. Her breath shuddered out of her. She had not expected the question. She had expected the pain that came with it even less.
Kotallo didn’t even need time to pass this time before he sensed her reaction. +I have overstepped. Please disregard my question.+
“No! No.” She inhaled deeply. “No.” Aloy tried to process her feelings. “It’s… A long story.”
+Perhaps we shall leave it for another conversation, then.+
She was relieved at the kindness. Giving her what she needed without a second thought. How much she was coming to value him already. “Yes. Please. If that’s okay.”
+I have no desire to press for unwanted answers.+ A very long pause. +Unlike someone else I know.+
Aloy blew out a gust of air in a short, frustrated puff, but she was so glad that he tried to lighten the mood with his barb. “Yeah, okay, Marshal. Take a stab at the curious woman. See if I ask you any more questions about your people.”
+You are welcome to ask me anything, Commander.+ His voice was utterly sincere. +I will share anything you wish.+
For a sharp moment, that image of Kotallo’s hungry mouth and his imaginary partner flashed through Aloy’s mind. She swallowed hard and fought to keep her voice even, so he did not think she was being so blatantly disrespectful.
“Thank you, Kotallo. I am going to get some sleep, now.”
+Fly with the Ten, Commander. Until we speak again.+
Aloy disconnected her Focus and slowly lay back down. She was on her back for a time, staring up at the stars again. Before she could really realise, her hand was drawing slow circles on her stomach, a comforting gesture she did sometimes when she was nervous or anxious.
Except she had no reason to be, right?
Right?
Aloy rolled over onto her stomach and covered the back of her head with both hands, trying to chase away the fluttering wings that had settled in her gut.
Far away, inside the sterile interior of the Base, Kotallo sat in complete silence. He wanted to tell himself that he should not have asked the question. He knew that this was, perhaps, the correct response to the situation. To respect her privacy. But her silence after ‘your people’ had been so full of unspoken pain that he felt compelled to bring forth the words. Unbidden, like they had willed themselves into existence.
Aloy was his Commander, of that there was no question. But in the vulnerability of the conversation, he remembered that she was also a person. A person of whom he knew very little about. Moreover, learning more about her people would help him support her, and there was definitely something there that was presenting some kind of obstacle to that support.
He had been truthful when he told her that he had looked more on the Nora. He had equally been truthful when he had said that he did so because he was curious about her.
But as they talked about his people, Kotallo had realised she never spoke of the Nora the same way, not unless prompted. Whilst Tenakth ways and Tenakth traditions threaded through every fibre of his being, the Nora seemed to be little more than a way to indicate how foreign she was to the Clan Lands. Even her Nora armour was eschewed easily for more practical attire. She did not use the Nora colours the way Varl did. She did not reference the ‘Goddess’ the way he did, either. Not just in belief, but in verbal speech patterns. Entreaties. As Erend spoke of the Forge and Zo spoke of the plants, Aloy spoke of… nothing.
He wondered, not for the first time, how she did what she did. If she did not believe in any Goddess, or the cycle of life, or the fire of a Forge, or the spirit of the Sun, or the teachings of the Ten. How did she walk with such strength as she did? Act with the convictions she had? When there was nothing to carry her aloft, how did she soar so high above all others?
Ever since he had met her, ever since he had crossed words with her at Stone Crest, ever since she had so rocked his entire world, Kotallo found himself unrelentingly curious about the fire-haired outlander. As so many others were. But here, listening to the memory of their most recent conversation in the darkness of the war room, Kotallo found himself curious for an entirely other reason. Aloy seemed to succeed not only in spite of all of the odds against her. She also seemed to do it entirely alone.
And he… he found he did not like that thought at all.