Chapter Text
Normally, when he dances, Sunghoon looks at himself. At first, it's to ensure he's getting the moves right. Then, he focuses on matching his pacing with the others. And after he's mastered the dance and its synchronization, he checks himself out in the mirror, trying to look as sexy and swaggy as possible.
But today, his gaze keeps darting to a particular fox-eyed boy's reflection in the mirror. The band is practicing for the first show of their world tour, and today's rehearsal needs to be perfect. The boys have to prove that they're ready to deliver the best performance possible to their beloved fans.
Every member of the group has a different dance style. For example, Heeseung is explosive in his movements, while Ni-ki is extremely light on his feet. Sunoo is usually very bouncy, but today, it's extreme. He practically hops with every beat of the music, and his soft black hair jumps up and down. It's distracting and starting to bother Sunghoon.
The choreographer suddenly cuts off the music and says, "Focus, Sunghoon. You were two beats behind on the last part."
Sunghoon flushes and bows. "Sorry," he says. He glares at Sunoo through the mirror, who returns his stare with a confused blink.
"Sunoo hyung," Ni-ki says, laughing a little. "Don't stick your butt out so much."
The members laugh. Sunoo squeals, swatting at Ni-ki's arm.
"I'm not sticking my butt out!" he shrieks.
Ni-ki shakes Sunoo off with a playful smile. "Just pointing it out. Sorry, hyung."
While the others had stopped laughing, Sunghoon was still cackling.
"Yah, Sunoo, you're always so clumsy," he jeers.
Unlike the rest of the members, who had been chuckling with fondness and amusement, Sunghoon's laugh had a bit of a hard edge. He sounds almost malicious, which doesn't go unnoticed by the group.
"That's enough, Sunghoon," Jake says, putting a hand on the white-haired boy's shoulder.
Sunghoon shakes his head with an amused smile and regains his composure. They continued practicing, but the for the rest of the night, Sunoo has a lot less pep in his step and keeps his face scrunched in a concentrated pout.
. . .
It's past midnight by the time the boys leave the dance studio. As usual, two black cars are waiting for them outside, so Sunghoon gets in first, opting to sit in the front row by the window. Sunoo enters shortly after but takes one look at Sunghoon and decides to slip into the back row. Sunghoon feels irritation bubbling under his skin. Sunoo had a habit of getting on his nerves without even trying.
Soon, Sunghoon was next to Jungwon, while Jake sat in the back with the fox-eyed boy. They are all tired, as evidenced by their heads thrown back against their seats and glazed, bloodshot eyes. Sunghoon tilts his body so his upper half fully faces the window. He's too exhausted to deal with the nagging pressure of his seatbelt squishing uncomfortably against his neck.
Jake takes off his baseball cap and runs a hand through sweaty hair. "Good job today, guys," he announces to the quiet car.
"Yeah, you were all great," Jungwon adds, nodding lethargically. Then, slightly looking behind him, he addresses Sunoo. "Especially you, Sunoo hyung. I know that one move was hard for you to figure out. You did well."
Sunoo nods appreciatively at the group leader. He is about to express his thanks when he hears Sunghoon scoff.
"If you didn't keep messing up, we would've all been asleep by now," Sunghoon points out.
Sunoo's face falls. Jungwon lets out a deep sigh and says, "Let's not do this now, hyung."
Sunghoon lets out a short hum in response, eyes trained on the passing city lights.
When they arrive back at the dorm, Sunghoon is starving. In fact, all the boys are. Jake and Heeseung start boiling water to prepare a late-night ramen snack while the others gather around the kitchen counter, their voices filling the room with gentle chatter.
"What flavor of ramen are you guys in the mood for?" Heeseung asks from his spot near the stove.
Five boys offer up different answers. Sunoo, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, finally speaks up.
"I'm just gonna shower and go to bed," he says, shuffling towards the bathroom.
"Sleep well, Sunoo," Jay says, giving the younger boy an affectionate nudge as he walks by.
"I can't believe you're going to bed right now," Sunghoon remarks. "We all know how much you love to eat."
The younger boy cringes, his turned back hiding his pained expression.
"Lay off, Sunghoon hyung," Ni-ki grumbles at the white-haired boy.
Jungwon shakes his head tiredly and adds, "It's really not funny."
Sunghoon frowns, pursing his lips. An awkward silence hangs in the air, and the kitchen is silent save for the boiling water on the stove.
"Goodnight, Sunoo," Heeseung says gently to the boy sulking his way into the bathroom.
"See you tomorrow, hyungie," Sunoo responds dejectedly. The bathroom door shuts behind him with a light click and is shortly followed by the sound of rushing water.
Hyungie. Sunghoon is Sunoo's only hyung who he doesn't call hyungie. In fact, everyone else in the group has a cute nickname, even the younger members, but Sunghoon is just plain old 'hyung,' which bothers him to no end.
After eating spicy chicken-flavored ramen and hanging out with Jay and Jake, Sunghoon takes a quick shower before slipping into bed. He shares a room with Jungwon, Ni-ki, and Sunoo, who are all tucked neatly into their beds. His bed is right across from Sunoo's, giving him a front-row view of the lump underneath baby pink covers. He stares at Sunoo until he starts feeling sleepy, as is his nightly habit. Something about the boy simultaneously makes his blood pump loudly in his ears and calms him down. Sunghoon doesn't know if he feels angry or peaceful while looking at Sunoo, but either way, he feels safe.
Sunoo moves slightly in his sleep, and Sunghoon swears he hears a small sniffle.
. . .
Tiny particles of dust swirl around in the thin rays of white light peeking in through the window blinds. Sunghoon slowly opens his eyes, vision blurry as he adjusts to the dim room. Jungwon is already awake, tiredly making his bed in the far corner. Ni-ki shuffles under the covers, and the sound of knuckles cracking indicates that the youngest has also woken.
On his side of the room, Sunoo lies asleep across from Sunghoon. He looks like a baby cherub, stripes of light bathing his skin in a pearly glow, and soft arms clutching onto his pink comforter. Suddenly, Sunghoon is on his feet, walking towards the boy. He stops to kneel in front of Sunoo's sleeping form, observing his round cheeks squished against the pillow, and how he takes little breaths in and out from his nose, and the rosy flush of his plump lips, and the tiny point of his nose, and, oh god, his fucking eyelashes are so long, and--
Sunoo stirs, causing Sunghoon to jump slightly. Blood pumps loudly in his ears as he momentarily loses his balance. He's about to stand up and walk away when Sunoo shifts, bringing his leg out from underneath the blanket and draping it across the mattress. His sleep shorts have ridden up to reveal Sunoo's bare leg.
Without thinking, Sunghoon takes one long finger and pokes the younger's thigh. The touch is fleeting, but Sunghoon doesn't miss the softness of Sunoo's leg, the doughiness of his pale skin.
Sunoo's fox eyes slowly blink open, a confused expression pulling on his face. Sunghoon just stares, still sleepy and acting on autopilot. When Sunoo finally registers that it's Sunghoon who poked him awake, his lips curve downward in a scowl.
"Morning, Sunoo," Sunghoon says before leaving to use the bathroom.
Sunoo watches the older's retreating form in utter confusion.
. . .
Today, the group is filming an episode of En-O'Clock. The shoot is in one of HYBE's studio rooms, which features a long white table, different props, snacks (which are most likely an award for winning whatever game the staff has planned), and seven chairs. The producers have Sunoo sit to Sunghoon's right, but throughout the entire process of filming, Sunoo barely spares the older boy a glance. When Sunghoon talks to him, Sunoo responds with bland, polite answers and a small, tinkling, and very fake laugh. But when the others speak to him or say something funny, Sunoo rewards them with a wide smile, crescent-moon eyes, and a fit of giggles. Sunghoon is the only one receiving coolness from the ball of warmth, and it's starting to get on his nerves.
After shooting, Sunghoon joins Jay in the HYBE gym. He stretches and flexes in the mirror, admiring his figure, which has been filling out more and more thanks to his almost daily exercises with Jay. The dark-haired boy turns on his speaker, instantly playing an old Maroon 5 song. If there's one thing to know about Jay, it's that he's a sucker for 2010s American pop.
"Jay," Sunghoon says as he sits at the lat pulldown machine.
"Hmm?"
Sunghoon adjusts the weight on the machine, making it heavier. "Do you know why Sunoo's ignoring me?"
Jay fixes Sunghoon with an incredulous look and says, "Do you not?"
Sunghoon shakes his head and pulls down on the bar. He turns toward the mirror, watching as his lats flex with each rep.
"No. Why would I?" Sunghoon asks, pulling the bar up and down.
Jay picks up a set of dumbells and starts doing bicep curls. "Because you're a dick, Hoon," he responds.
At that, Sunghoon pauses. He looks at Jay in horror.
"Me?" he asks, pointing to himself.
"No, the other Sunghoon," Jay responds, neck straining as he curls his arms up and down.
"Am I seriously a dick?"
"Yes," Jay deadpans. Then, putting down the weights, he adds, "Just to Sunoo, though."
Sunghoon scoffs and pushes his hair out of his face. He turns away from Jay, releasing his frustration by resuming his lat pulldowns.
"I'm just teasing him. It's not my fault he's so sensitive," he explains matter-of-factly.
Jay sighs and moves to the pull-up bar. He rolls up his sleeves and jumps up to the grips, hanging there for a second before beginning a flawless set of pull-ups.
"Yes, he is sensitive. So what? That's not a bad thing, dude. And you're not just teasing--you're extra hard on him for no reason, especially lately. Sunoo's hurting, and it's affecting the group. Jungwon was planning on talking to you about it tomorrow," Jay explains, breathing in and out quickly with every pull-up. A bead of sweat forms on his hairline and drips down the side of his face.
Sunghoon doesn't know what to say to that. He gapes at Jay's back, mulling over the boy's words. He feels like he's been slapped--Jay is always so chill and lighthearted, so for him to speak so seriously is a sign that this is bad. And if Jungwon is planning on getting involved... Sunghoon sighs. He fucked up.
With a loud exhale, Jay drops from the pull-up bar and lightly lands back on the ground. He rolls his head on his neck and shakes out his shoulders before meeting Sunghoon's stare.
"Listen, man. Try to make an effort to get along with Sunoo. He really admires you, you know," Jay says.
Sunghoon bristles with guilt as his friend continues, "Sunoo likes compliments. Try to say something nice to him every day. Or maybe even spend time with him, do something he likes."
Sunghoon shakes his head and replies, "But I don't like doing anything he likes."
Jay huffs exasperatedly, his patience wearing thin. "Sunghoon," he states seriously. "You always make time for everyone else. You come to the gym with me, play Fifa with Ni-ki and Heeseung hyung, go fishing with Jake, take Jungwon shopping--you're a really good friend to us, Hoon. But think about it, when was the last time you hung out with Sunoo?"
Sunghoon shifts uncomfortably. Jay is right. He hasn't really made any effort to bond with Sunoo, and an uneasy twinge creeps into his stomach, twisting and stabbing at his insides.
"Sorry, Jay," Sunghoon sighs.
Jay reaches out and pats Sunghoon's arm. "It's not me you should be apologizing to."
With his eyes trained on the floor, Sunghoon nods. Jay slaps his bicep lightly and says, "Chest presses now. Let's go."
. . .
By the time Sunghoon is all showered and ready for bed, it's almost half past midnight. Steam emerges from the doorway as he walks out of the bathroom, roughing up his wet hair with a towel and wearing loose grey sweatpants and a thin black t-shirt. His shower took longer than usual--he was trying to drown out what Jay had said earlier with burning hot water. However, the sting on his skin only intensified his uneasiness.
Knowing his roommates are probably sleeping, Sunghoon gingerly enters his room, careful not to shut the door too loudly behind him. It's silent save for Jungwon's rustling, Ni-ki's light snoring, and the pitter-patter of Sunghoon's feet against hardwood floors.
When Sunghoon gets to his corner of the room, he sees that Sunoo is still awake. He stares at the sight in front of him; Sunoo has a white sheet mask plastered to his face, AirPods in his ears, and he holds a large iPad against his chest. The iPad screen glows white and blue, illuminating the boy's mask-clad face and making him look like some sort of preening ghost.
Sunghoon's gut twists when he remembers what Jay had told him earlier. Be nice, he thinks to himself. He walks up to Sunoo, and the anxious moths in his stomach intensify. It shouldn't be this hard for him to interact with a boy he's lived with for nearly three years, yet here he is.
With a slight yelp, Sunoo notices Sunghoon's figure leering above him and quickly takes out his AirPods.
"Hyung?" he asks, clearly confused.
Sunghoon looks just as confused. "Sunoo, what are you doing?" he tries to whisper gently, but it comes out as more of a hiss.
Sunoo blinks at the older boy once, then twice. "Are you drunk?"
"Yah!" Sunghoon shouts, instantly lowering his voice after, afraid of waking up his sleeping roommates.
"Shh!" Sunoo hushes him.
Sunghoon takes a deep breath. "No, I'm not drunk. I just wanted to know what you were doing."
Sunoo studies him quizically. Then, after what feels like an eternity, he replies, "I'm watching a drama like I always do before bed. Why?"
Sunghoon hates dramas. Still, he presses on, determined to be kind to his bandmate. "What drama?" he asks.
"Uh, A Business Proposal. It just recently came out," he replies, still looking at Sunghoon like he's gone mad. Then, Sunoo pops his AirPods back in and turns away from Sunghoon, dismissing the older boy.
"Wait, Sunoo," Sunghoon reaches out, grabbing his shoulder.
Sunoo flinches at the touch, and Sunghoon hates it. Wide, confused, and slightly suspicious fox-eyes gleam at him, wordlessly questioning Sunghoon's intentions.
Sunghoon feels itchy. So, so itchy. He gulps, "Uh, can I watch with you?" Itchy, itchy, itchy.
"Sure, hyung," Sunoo says.
For a second, the two boys just stare at each other. Sunghoon, who is usually confident to the point of arrogance, feels awkward and fidgety. Sunoo, who thinks he must be dreaming, just blinks, his cold sheet mask pressing against his skin.
Ridiculous, Sunghoon thinks, looking at the sheet mask on the younger's face.
"Well, scooch over," Sunghoon motions for Sunoo to move, and the fox-eyed boy complies.
They do a little dance trying to figure out who sits where on Sunoo's twin bed. At first, they sit straight up, shoulder to shoulder, with the iPad propped on Sunoo's lap. That feels weird, so they shift again, laying side by side, but Sunghoon starts to fall off the side of the bed that isn't pressed against the wall. Eventually, Sunghoon sits up and rests his head and back against the headboard. He grabs Sunoo without thinking and plops the younger between his legs so Sunoo's back is pressed flush against his chest. Sunghoon's legs lock on either side of the smaller boy. Finally, they are in a comfortable position.
Only, it's not comfortable, as there has never been this much skinship between the boys. Sunoo is frozen in place, tense and confused. Sunghoon doesn't know where to put his hands, not wanting to wrap them around Sunoo's waist but wanting him to come closer so he can fully see the iPad screen.
Sunoo tenses as Sunghoon gently pulls him backward.
"Here," the older boy whispers into his ear. "Lean against me."
Hesitantly, Sunoo obliges, slowly sinking into Sunghoon. His head lands right on Sunghoon's chest, just below his chin. Sunoo bristles in surprise. He knew Sunghoon was strong, but he didn't think his chest would be so... hard. And with his arms so close to his sides, he can fully appreciate the veins decorating his taut forearms and big hands. Sunoo gulps, thankful that his sheet mask covers the fiery blush covering his face. His blue and white striped pajamas look silly against Sunghoon's black t-shirt.
"Give me an AirPod," Sunghoon says. Because he's speaking so quietly, his voice is lower than usual, and goosebumps rise on Sunoo's skin.
Sunoo huffs, handing Sunghood an AirPod. Sunghoon never asks; he always demands, and Sunoo doesn't know how he feels about it.
Once Sunghoon is all situated, Sunoo bends his knees and places the iPad in front of his thighs.
"What's this show about?" Sunghoon asks, purposely tilting his head upward so his mouth doesn't touch Sunoo's skin. His hands are flat against the mattress on either side of the younger boy, tense and flexed but not touching him.
"A girl goes on a blind date pretending to be her friend, but the guy she meets up with is actually the CEO of the company she works for!" Sunoo whisper-shouts excitedly.
Sunghoon groans, closing his eyes and hitting his head against the headboard.
Sunoo shifts, pouting. "You're the one who said you wanted to watch with me," he tuts.
Annoyance flares in Sunghoon's gut, but he holds his tongue. He's going to listen to Jay. He'll be nice, he'll spend time with Sunoo, he'll compliment him every day, and--oh.
Awkwardly, Sunghoon lightly tugs a strand of Sunoo's hair. It's soft and shiny, despite the number of times it's been bleached and dyed and fried. But it's not surprising because Sunoo takes excellent care of himself. Sunghoon is slightly envious. He's been trying to keep up a good hair routine, but his white locks are still brittle.
Sunoo turns to look at Sunghoon with big, crescent eyes. Sunghoon looks down, meeting his stare, still twirling the strand of hair between his index finger and thumb. His adam's apple bobs as he swallows nervously, realizing that his face has never been this close to Sunoo's before.
"Your hair is nice," he mumbles. There, he did it. His one compliment of the day.
Sunoo smiles, the first real smile he's offered Sunghoon in a while, and Sunghoon's heart begins to beat a little faster against the younger boy's chest.
"Thank you, hyung. I know," he chirps quietly, cheeks scrunching cutely.
Cutely? Cutely? The exhaustion must be wearing on Sunghoon.
Sunoo starts the drama, and at first, all Sunghoon can think about is Sunoo. He starts feeling hot with the boy pressing against him in so many places. Where Sunghood is all sharp edges and angles, Sunoo is soft all over, from his silky hair to his milky thighs. Sunghoon's heart pounds in his chest and ears, and he's not sure why. He hopes the younger boy doesn't notice.
As they keep watching, Sunghoon starts to relax a little more. His arms are still glued to his side, not quite touching Sunoo, but it's evident that the younger boy has become a little more comfortable leaning against Sunghoon's chest. Sunghoon finds that he actually enjoys the drama, chuckling at the funny parts, his body shaking against Sunoo's. Soon, almost an hour has passed, and the boys finished the first episode of the show.
After a moment of silence, Sunoo asks, "What did you think?"
He speaks quietly, as it's almost two in the morning, and Sunghoon can barely hear him with his face turned away.
"Hmm? Oh, I liked it. Way more than I thought I would," Sunghoon responds honestly.
Sunoo lets out a satisfied hum.
It's quiet again.
"Well, uh, goodnight, hyung," Sunoo says, clearing his throat and sitting up, moving away from Sunghoon.
Sunghoon feels cold without the younger's touch. He was getting very cozy, and his right leg had fallen asleep. Gingerly, he rises out of bed.
"Goodnight, Sunoo," he murmurs before slipping into his own bed.