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Ennis rolled onto his back, breathing hard. Jack was sprawled on his stomach, his final whimper pressed into the pillow. His hand sought Ennis' and their fingers twined together.
"You okay?" Ennis' whisper sounded loud to his ears, and again he wondered what would happen if someone was to hear the louder noises they made prior to this. At the time, the thought never occurred to him.
"Mmm." Jack wriggled onto his side, facing away from him, and Ennis smiled. They'd done this often enough before, and he knew how Jack appreciated a cuddle afterwards. It seemed odd to begin with, yet now Ennis offered it gladly, acknowledging to himself that he also enjoyed the warm closeness of their bodies.
The night was balmy, and a welcome current of pine-scented air whispered through the gap in the tent flap, cooling their heated skin. Ennis curled behind Jack, one arm draped languidly over his waist. Jack claimed Ennis' hand, linking their fingers as he pressed a kiss to the work-roughened knuckles. He snuggled back against Ennis with a comfortable yawn.
Ennis turned his head to prevent Jack's hair tickling his nose.
"You good there, rodeo?"
Jack peered round at him. "What do you think? Feel like I could sleep for a week... you sure know how to take good care a me, Ennis."
Ennis chuckled against Jack's shoulder. "'S only what I learnt from you, Jack. I ain't no expert in all a this."
"You're expert enough for me." Jack yawned again. "G'night, cowboy."
"'Night, Jack." Ennis kissed the back of Jack's head. His limbs were heavy, his heart slowly settling into a quieter rhythm, yet he wasn't tired.
"Jack?"
"Mmm?" The response was sleepy.
"What's it— I mean, when we go at it... what's it like for you?" Ennis felt himself blushing as he spoke. It was a question he'd wanted to ask Jack for a while.
"For me?" Jack wriggled round to face him, one hand groping for the thin blanket and pulling it up to their waists. He could see Ennis' eyes, dark as chocolate, and the halo of damp curls which stuck up from his head.
"Was jus' wonderin'," Ennis mumbled. He felt silly now for asking.
A small smile curved Jack's lips. "It's like... when you start, it's like heat an' shivers at the same time. Then you hit that spot, an' it's like fireworks goin' off in my chest. I can feel 'em, fizzing under my skin like electricity. An' then, when you get that steady push goin', an' I feel so damn full a you, it's like I'm bein' lifted up, higher an' higher 'til I can scarce breathe. An' when you shoot off inside a me, it's like I'm free-fallin', like a divin' bird, 'cept I don't hit the ground. I just slow down gradual like wakin' up from a dream, an' then I can hear again. An' you're huffin' away behind me." He grinned at Ennis' wide-eyed gaze. "That's what it's like for me."
There was a long moment's silence.
"Fuckin' hell, Jack. You should a been a poet, I reckon."
Jack smothered a snort. "Ain't certain folk'd want a listen to me ramblin' on 'bout what it's like to be fucked by you, Ennis."
Ennis' blush was lost in the dimness of the tent. "That ain't what I meant," he muttered, before looking at Jack. "Jus' hearin' you say it out loud... makes me feel kind a strange."
Jack grinned, leaning in to press a firm kiss to his lips.
"An' the whole thing makes me feel kind a tired... can we go to sleep now?"
❖
The following day, Ennis went down to receive the weekly delivery, leaving Jack to go up to the flock. It would take him a couple of hours, and once the items were safely stowed, he could join his partner.
As he waited for the Basque to arrive, Ennis' thoughts returned to what Jack said the previous night. His face warmed, thinking of how it was him who made Jack feel how he did. It was his mouth, his hands, his cock. He gave pleasure to another man, who took him willingly. Eagerly, even.
Ennis fidgeted in the saddle, then jumped down and walked a way along the track before returning to Cigar Butt. He ran a hand down his neck, chuckling as the horse turned his head to nuzzle him gently. His hat fell off and as he stooped to retrieve it, he heard the familiar sputtering of the truck as it climbed the incline. Setting aside his thoughts of Jack, Ennis waited for the vehicle to stop before strolling over to collect their supplies.
A little later he'd unpacked everything and put it away, and after a final look round, he set off to join Jack. As Cigar Butt picked his way along the stony track, Ennis allowed his mind to drift back to the previous night.
It had taken him a while to come to terms with what they did together. Initially, every muscle, every sinew, resisted the allure. Desire for another man was wrong, surely? He and Jack would be damned for eternity.
But we'll be damned together, and that ain't so bad.
So far, he'd told himself that for him, it wasn't so strange. He took Jack every time, and it wasn't so different to taking a woman, was it?
Yeah, you can kid yourself. It's as different as night an' day.
Not that he and Alma had ever gone quite that far.
Sex with a woman was probably alright. It's what everyone did, after all. And it would be fine with Alma once they were married... even if he'd never felt like this when he was with her.
Jack Twist made him feel—
Ennis glanced around, heat creeping up his neck and flushing his cheeks as the thoughts teased at his mind. Thoughts of Jack, and how they spent their nights when the tent flap was fastened.
But I ain't queer. If I think a doin' it with some other fella—
Ennis couldn't bring himself to follow that train of thought very far. There was only Jack, and that was all he wanted.
But what if he wants you like that?
Ennis shifted in his saddle. He wondered what that might be like.
You already know what. He told you last night.
But that was Jack. It was how Jack wanted it. Christ, often he would beg Ennis, like it was something he craved, something he needed to keep on living.
Don't know as I want a need somethin' that bad.
He heard his name called from up ahead, and there was Jack, waving his hat in greeting like he hadn't seen Ennis in days. He smiled despite himself.
Damn fool.
But as he urged the horse into a trot, Ennis wondered again how it would be if Jack was inside him, owning him, making him plead for it.
❖
There followed several nights where they slept separately. The flock was restless; there had been coyote sightings and after the earlier incident when one of their animals was killed, Ennis insisted they took no chances.
"'Cause you know full well Aguirre will be after our asses if we mess up here, Jack. We need a be careful."
"There's only one ass I'm after." Jack made a grab for Ennis, who stepped away nimbly. But Jack was quicker and caught his leg, bringing him to the ground with a laugh. "Can't escape me, cowboy," he chuckled, pinning Ennis down as he climbed on top of him.
"Jack, it's broad daylight." Ennis' protest was weak, and he wriggled beneath Jack, pushing up into him as Jack leant in.
"All the better to see you. Like to see you, Ennis. Like to see your face when I do this." He ground against Ennis, his eyes growing dark as looked down. Ennis bit his lip, wanting more, yet feeling vulnerable out in the open.
"Jack... we got a wait 'til tonight. I'll stay at the camp." He twisted his head, scanning the skyline. "Ol' Aguirre'll turn up, knowin' our luck."
With a sigh, Jack moved back reluctantly.
"You're right, a course. I'll have to hold it in for now." He dropped a quick kiss on Ennis' lips. "You're worth waitin' for, Ennis."
Ennis pushed him, and Jack sprawled on his back, spluttering.
"You ornery bastard... just you wait 'til later." He took Ennis' proffered hand and struggled to his feet, pouting a little at Ennis' grin.
"Come on, rodeo. Let's see to these woollies 'fore we forget what we're up here to do."
The work day finished later than usual, and by the time supper was cooked and eaten, the sun was low to the west. Folds of pillowing clouds in shades of apricot and rose supported a vault of velvety blue, and Jack tilted his hat back as he relaxed by the fire, gazing at the fiery glow on the distant peaks. Ennis returned from the stream with the clean dishes, his steps slowing as he approached. Jack's long legs were stretched out in front of him and his hands were clasped behind his head. He didn't notice Ennis, which gave him time to stare at Jack in a way he didn't like to when Jack was aware of him.
Ennis swallowed as he regarded his partner, taking in his boyish profile, the jawline shaded with stubble. Jack's mouth was curved in a faint smile, his eyelids closed so the dark lashes rested against his cheeks.
He's the finest man I ever laid eyes on. Pretty as a picture.
He chastised himself mentally for his foolish thoughts, shaking his head with an embarrassed chuckle, and crossed to the fire. He poked Jack with the toe of his boot.
"You plannin' on sleepin' out here tonight?"
Jack peered up at him. "Not if there's somethin' better on offer," he said lazily, a slow smile curving his mouth.
Ennis harrumphed as he carried the clean dishes to put them away. "Always got a smart answer," he muttered to himself. But he smiled as he said it.
Jack got to his feet and damped the fire down. "I'm jus' gone a check the horses," he called as he strolled over to where they were tethered. Ennis grunted a response and when he'd finished, threw a glance towards Jack before ducking to enter the tent.
By the time Jack joined him, Ennis had removed his shirt and was unbuckling his belt. With a grin, Jack turned Ennis to face him, sliding his hands down the back of his jeans. He cupped and squeezed, earning a soft moan as Ennis gave up fumbling with his fly buttons and ran his hands over Jack's chest instead.
"Ennis del Mar, I will never get enough a you." Jack pulled him closer, his fingers stroking the cleft of Ennis' ass, his teeth nipping at his lower lip. With a shudder, Ennis drew back.
"I was wonderin'," he began, glancing at Jack before looking away. "'Bout how we do it, an' how maybe we could go the other way. You know, where you—"
Jack squeezed harder, his blue eyes glittering. "Where I fuck you..." His mouth found Ennis' and he kissed him hard. "We can do that," he breathed.
Ennis was already plucking at Jack's shirt buttons, growling in frustration as they resisted his clumsy attempts. Jack withdrew his hands from Ennis' jeans and brought them to his chest, fingers closing over Ennis'.
"Slow down, cowboy. We got plenty a time."
Ennis drew in a deep breath and nodded, stepping back and shucking off his jeans. Jack undressed quickly and dropped his clothes on the floor, and they tumbled onto the bedroll, hands urgently seeking warm skin.
"Jack, I jus' want you to do it. No messin' around." Ennis' hand was already on Jack's cock, which didn't need much more attention to reach full hardness. "Jus' do it," he repeated.
"Okay, okay... let me get—" Jack reached for the bottle of neatsfoot oil which was tucked behind the pillow. He sat back between Ennis' legs and poured a little of the yellow liquid into his palm, rubbing his cock slowly. Ennis watched Jack's face, as his eyes closed and his teeth caught at his lower lip. After a moment, he opened his eyes to gaze at Ennis, his breath roughened.
"You want a turn round? Or stay like this?"
Ennis hadn't thought that far ahead. He blinked several times before pushing up onto his elbows.
"Turn round," he rasped.
Jack nodded and waited until Ennis had scrambled to face away from him. He placed a hand on Ennis' hip, rubbing gently.
"Gone a soften you up a bit here, Ennis. Jus' relax."
This is easy. Jack does it all the time. It'll be worth it, when—
There was a teasing touch, and Ennis gasped as Jack slowly eased a fingertip inside. The shivers radiated out and skittered across his body. He wanted to lean back into Jack, to take what he was offering, while simultaneously he wanted to disappear, to hide from the reality of what was happening to him.
The second urge won.
Ennis flinched away, leaving the tantalising sensation behind. He wanted it, yet—
"I can't, I'm sorry, it's just—"
"'S okay, bud. No-one's forcin' you." Jack rubbed an oily hand on his thigh, then gripped Ennis' shoulder. "It's okay, Ennis. We can leave it." He leant forward, his lips close to Ennis' ear. "Don't mean you can't do me, though."
Afterwards, they lay in a sweaty tangle of limbs as their bodies began to cool. Ennis shifted a little to face Jack, raising a hand to touch his cheek.
"I wanted to, I really did... but when you started, I jus'... I dunno, it din't sit right somehow."
Jack kissed Ennis' forehead and pulled him close.
"Don't matter none. I don't care if we never do it like that. Jus' want a make you happy, Ennis."
With a sigh, Ennis wriggled to get comfortable.
"Jus' so long as you're happy, too."
"I am. So quit your worryin' an' let's get some sleep."
❖
The days continued warm, the air becoming sultry. There was no breeze and after nearly a week, Jack knew the weather was about to break.
"It's stiflin'. What we need is a proper downpour. Hopefully, no lightnin' strike like that other time, though."
His wish was answered late one afternoon. The rain set in, large drops which initially disappeared into the parched ground without leaving a trace. There was a muted rumble of thunder far away, and Ennis frowned.
"We should get under cover before this gets goin'... be in for a soakin' otherwise."
After a last check on the flock, they made their way back to the camp, arriving as the rain began in earnest. Ennis settled the horses beneath the tarp canopy they'd constructed, scooting for the tent as the rain suddenly became heavier.
Jack had removed his damp clothes and draped them out in the tent. Ennis followed suit, shivering a little despite the humid atmosphere. He rummaged through his belongings, sitting back with a grunt.
"Ain't got a dry shirt, damn it."
"Come over here, I'll keep you warm." Jack poked him, and Ennis turned to him with an indulgent sigh.
"Jack Twist, you got an answer for everythin'. Smart-ass." He crawled over to the bedroll, grinning. "But in this case, it's a good answer."
Jack chuckled and pulled him close, and Ennis settled beside him, one leg slipping between Jack's. The steady beat of the rain on the tent was a comforting sound, and Ennis hummed in appreciation as Jack ran his hands over his back.
"We'll need to eat later. If we can get a fire goin' with everythin' drenched out there."
"Mmm." Jack wasn't bothered about later. "Meantime, we'll have to amuse ourselves."
"An' I'm sure you got some ideas 'bout that." Ennis pushed himself onto his elbows, his leg dragging against Jack's cock. His kiss muffled Jack's moan, and for a time there was no further talking. Jack squirmed as Ennis pressed kisses to his forehead, his eyelids, his jaw, the corner of his mouth. All the while, he moved his lower body slowly, one hand brushing across Jack's chest and circling a nipple, pinching it to hardness as Jack whimpered beneath him.
Ennis drew back, his eyes on Jack's face. It was flushed, eyelids shut and lips parted. At the loss of contact, Jack opened his eyes, pouting.
"Don't stop, cowboy. Was jus' gettin' goin' here."
Ennis slid a hand between them, and Jack gasped.
"Reckon you been gettin' goin' for a while." He grinned and shifted to his knees, straddling Jack and pinning him heavily to the bedroll. Jack bucked his hips, groaning.
"You settin' out to torment me, Ennis?"
"No, I'm—"
Ennis broke off as Jack moved again. Jack's cock was rubbing the cleft of his ass and suddenly, he couldn't think straight.
"That good?" Jack rocked his hips as best he could, every movement adding to the fire building in Ennis' gut. Without knowing what he was doing, he slid his knees wider and reached behind, grasping Jack's cock and holding it firmly against his skin.
Ennis stared down at Jack, his mind racing.
Fuck, this feels so good. Do I want it? Can I let myself have it? Fuck, Jack...
"You want it, Ennis? You want me?"
That did it for Ennis. Of course he wanted Jack, wanted him so much his skin burned for him, his heart raced for him, his body yearned for a closeness he'd never known before.
"Yeah," Ennis rasped, mouth dry. He licked his lips and swallowed hard. "Yeah, I do."
"'Kay then. Can you reach the oil?"
It was darker in the tent now. The rain had lightened to a steady patter against the canvas, and the ominous thunder rolls had retreated to the east. Ennis groped behind the bedroll and found the bottle, passing it to Jack with trembling fingers.
"Kneel up a bit... I'm gone a sit up." Jack looked at Ennis as he unscrewed the cap. "You tell me to stop any time, an' I will... you know that, don't you?"
Ennis nodded, his eyes flicking to Jack's hands where he had pooled some oil in one palm. He coated his fingers and reached a hand beneath Ennis, stroking lightly. As he brushed across his entrance, Ennis shivered, his hands gripping Jack's shoulders.
"Relax, Ennis. Breathe out."
Ennis did so, his eyes locked with Jack's. The delicate touch became a push, one finger sliding in before he realised what Jack was doing.
"Easy there..." Jack felt Ennis clamp down, and his other hand found Ennis' cock and stroked it slowly. Gradually Ennis relaxed a little and Jack was able to move his hand.
"Fuck, Jack..." His nails bit into Jack's shoulders as, after a moment, a second finger joined the first. Ennis was panting, his face glistening with sweat as he stared at Jack, his eyes wide.
"You okay?" Jack's voice was soft, and as he spoke he moved his fingers, smiling up at Ennis.
Ennis opened his mouth but no words came, as whatever Jack was doing caused a flare of heat to emanate from his touch, rendering Ennis speechless. His hips jerked spasmodically as Jack flexed his fingers inside him, his grip on Jack's shoulders becoming vice-like.
"I'm— Jesus Christ." His words became a gasp, and he pushed himself against the teasing fingers, shuddering as he shot over Jack's chest. After a few more strokes, Jack released him, resting a sticky hand on his hip. He stilled the fingers of his other hand, withdrawing them with a slow drag.
Ennis sagged, his legs trembling.
"Fuckin' hell, Twist. What in God's name was that?"
Jack smiled. "Good, I'm hopin'."
"Good barely cuts it." Ennis' voice was shaky as his breathing struggled to settle. "I ain't shot off so quick in a long time," he added.
"'S okay. Was good to see it." Jack shifted so his cock pushed against Ennis' entrance. "Reckon you're ready for me now?"
Ennis' laugh was unsteady. "I am, but my knees ain't so sure."
"No problem... you can lie down." Jack grabbed a t-shirt and rubbed himself dry. "My knees can do the work."
They swapped places and Ennis lay back with a sigh. Jack slid the pillow underneath him, adjusting it so Ennis was comfortable. Then he shuffled down to kneel between his legs, nudging them a little wider and running his fingers up and down the inside of his thighs. Ennis shivered, suppressing a moan when Jack stroked the skin close to his entrance. He gazed at Ennis, his eyes half-lidded.
"Don't need a be quiet on my account. Like to hear you, Ennis." He rubbed more oil over his cock, smiling at Ennis as he did so.
Ennis had been quiet all his life, yet with Jack these past months he had found himself, initially reluctantly, talking more. And laughing. And now, making sounds he knew damn well had never passed his lips before. Jack got closer, his cock following where his fingers led, and Ennis gave up and almost shouted as he entered him. The stretch teetered on the brink of discomfort before slipping into an exhilarating heat which sparked desire deep inside. Jack thrust into him steadily until there was no space between them, and Ennis shivered uncontrollably. The intense sensation of fullness left him breathless, with an urge to hold Jack there forever. Coupled with anxiety over what was to come, and whether he could bear it.
Jack eased off a little and sank back again, a faint sheen of sweat across his face and chest.
"Ennis del Mar, you are the most beautiful man I've ever met." His words were quiet, as though he spoke them to himself, but Ennis heard him plainly. His already flushed cheeks reddened further as he realised he didn't object to Jack's observation. Not at all.
"Jack, I—"
Jack blinked and focused on Ennis' face. He moved again, and Ennis whimpered.
"That feel good? 'Cause it feels like fuckin' heaven to me." Jack leant forward, his mouth finding Ennis' as the change of angle sent a jolt through Ennis' abdomen.
"Jack—" Ennis clutched at his shoulders, his hands reaching to tangle fingers in Jack's hair as he bucked his hips to meet him.
"I got you, Ennis." Jack's words were a reassuring murmur against Ennis' lips as he moved carefully, the silky friction stoking his desire even as he tried to hold back.
Ennis' eyelids were tightly closed, his breath coming in short bursts as his hands roamed over Jack, unable to settle. There was a sensation of gooseflesh all over his body and yet he was burning, waves of heat washing through him relentlessly.
"Jack, please..."
"Sure you're ready?" Jack shifted onto his elbows as Ennis opened his eyes.
They gazed at each other for a long moment.
"I'm ready."
With a soft moan, Jack started to move; a slow, measured rhythm which he knew he could maintain for as long as Ennis wanted it. He searched Ennis' face, from his lower lip caught between his teeth, to his faintly furrowed brow, to his damp hair curling at the ends in that way Jack loved.
"How you doin'?"
"Good," Ennis breathed. "Want more."
Jack dropped his head to kiss him fiercely. "I got more," he whispered.
Ennis gasped as the pace increased, his hands finally settling on Jack's hips as he sped up. There was a thrumming in his ears and he closed his eyes, allowing the myriad sensations to buffet him from all sides.
"Tell me when you're ready, Ennis." Jack's fingers stroked the curls away from Ennis' forehead.
"I don't— any time... just—" Ennis' words tapered to an incoherent mumble as Jack slowed, before burying himself as far as he could, gathering Ennis into his arms as the thrusts weakened. He nuzzled against his shoulder, murmuring words Ennis couldn't discern, before setting him down again.
The buzzing in Ennis' ears faded, and he stared up at Jack with eyes that glistened.
"Fuck me, rodeo. That was somethin' else."
Jack managed a shaky grin. "It sure was. An' I believe I jus' did."
Ennis frowned, then his face cleared and he landed a playful punch on Jack's arm. "Idiot."
"I've been called worse." He looked down at Ennis, a soft smile on his face. "Gone a pull out now."
Ennis nodded, a comfortable drowsiness threatening to overwhelm him. He shivered as Jack sat back, watching him through half-closed eyes as he fumbled for the t-shirt and patted at the damp patches on their skin. He tossed it away and rummaged in the pile of discarded clothes, producing a squashed pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
"Let's get ourselves comfortable, an' you can tell me how you liked it." He grinned at Ennis, who yawned in return.
That's Jack, always wantin' to talk when there's sleepin' to be done.
But he shuffled over, pushing the pillows back and taking the cigarette from Jack as they settled down. Jack relaxed, sliding an arm across Ennis' shoulders, his fingers teasing the curls at the nape of his neck as he did so.
Ennis slid down a little, resting his cheek against Jack's chest. He took the cigarette, rolling it between finger and thumb and looking at it absentmindedly before taking a slow pull.
"You like doin' that," he stated. "My hair," he added, as Jack queried him with a grunt.
"I do. Feels nice." Jack held out his hand for the cigarette. "D'you mind?"
"Nope. Just noticed it is all."
They lay in silence for a short while. The rain had long since moved away and the evening was quiet, the occasional distant bleat all they could hear.
"It was good, Jack. Least, good don't cover it, really." Ennis flicked a glance up at him. "Never felt anythin' like it," he mumbled, his face warming as he recalled what had just happened.
Jack finished the cigarette and extinguished it. "You ain't wrong. Felt special from where I was, too."
Ennis rubbed his face and rested his hand on Jack's stomach. "Don't mean I want a stop doin' it the other way. Like that, too."
Jack gave his shoulders a squeeze. "So do I, cowboy. Like to feel you inside me."
Ennis pinched his lips. The way Jack casually spoke of the details of what they did always disconcerted him.
Which ain't sensible, seein' as how we been doin' it for months.
"Like bein' there," he managed, ignoring his embarrassment for once.
Jack laughed, shifting sideways to look at him. "First time you've said anythin' about it. We'll get some pillow talk out a you yet, Ennis del Mar."
Ennis huffed. "Certainly can't compete with you." Then he yawned widely. "Reckon we got time for a quick nap. No more talkin' for me."
"Suits me. We can get somethin' to eat later." Jack nudged Ennis to sit up and rearranged the pillows, drawing the blanket over them as they lay down again.
Ennis turned away, allowing Jack to curve his body behind him. He muffled another yawn as Jack's arm snaked round his midriff, holding him close.
"Thank you, Ennis." He kissed his shoulder, and Ennis shifted a little.
"Don't need a thank me, y'know. Told you, was good for me too."
"Mmm, guess so." Jack's voice was drowsy, and he turned his face to rest his cheek against Ennis' back.
Ennis listened to Jack's breathing, each exhalation like the brush of a feather on his skin. The warmth of the other man behind him was soothing, as Ennis attempted to follow Jack into sleep.
He'd done something this evening which, only a few months ago, he would never have imagined he might do. I ain't queer, Ennis had told himself repeatedly since that first night. And while he was the one giving and Jack happily receiving, by some kind of logic, he could believe the assertion.
But now...
Wouldn't let no other fella do it. Only Jack.
He heaved a sleepy sigh. That made sense. If he was only queer for Jack, that didn't count, did it?
An' what about Alma? What about the wedding?
Those were questions Ennis couldn't face. The answers would come, somehow.
Meanwhile, he basked in the warm embrace of a man who meant more to him than any other person ever had.
And that would do, for now.