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Fog rolls over her body, as Akali races home. She takes a narrow turn, her body instinctually turning with her motorcycle. A noise of pain escapes her, bruised ribs still rapidly healing within her skin. The girls will rain hell on her when they see her, but what was Akali supposed to do? Let those assholes talk about them with no repercussions? Fuck no .
Akali takes a deep breath as she slows down and presses on her fob to open the gates to their home. The gates slide open and she rolls her bike in, left foot still tender and aching as it presses against the concrete. There’s a lone light on in the house, from Ahri’s study, and Akali bites her lip underneath her helmet.
She parks her bike, carefully keeping her distance from Evelynn’s extensive collection, and turns the engine off. Akali takes her helmet off, wincing when it catches on her ponytail, and then locks it on her bike. She stretches her back, listening to the audible crack, and then presses more weight down on her left foot.
“Fuck,” Akali murmurs and then shifts most of her weight to her right foot. If she’s quiet enough (and she still has the tiles that make the most noise memorized), she thinks she can make it up to her bed without the gumiho noticing.
Quietly, Akali cracks open the door, closing the garage door behind her. She steps into the house, sitting down to take her shoes off. Now in socks, she can see the immense swelling on her left foot and scowls at it.
I trained you better, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Mayym’s, echoes in her head. Akali shuts it out, focusing on her surroundings instead. She places her shoes gently, taking careful steps toward the stairs.
Ahri’s door is still closed, good, and Akali glances at it before looking up the gigantic staircase. She steels herself, grabs the railing, and is halfway to stepping up when the living room light turns on. Akali freezes.
“Why were you out so late?” Ahri questions from behind her.
“Went out,” Akali says, though her tongue feels fat in her mouth. She refuses to turn around, lest Ahri sees the dried blood on her face.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Ahri sighs, “‘Kali, we talked about this.”
“I told Kai,” Akali says and then takes the first step up, “can we talk about this tomorrow?”
“Fine, but,” Ahri says and crosses the room, gently grabbing a hold of Akali’s right arm, “goodnight.”
Ahri leans in and Akali instinctually turns, as the gumiho’s eyes go wide.
“Baby, what happened?” Ahri gasps.
“I’m okay,” Akali tells her, “most of it isn’t mine.”
It does nothing to quell Ahri’s worry, as the other woman gently brings Akali back into the light. Akali winces, unintentionally putting weight on her bad foot, and Ahri wordlessly puts Akali’s right arm around her and supports her weight. She helps her onto the couch, seating her down before kneeling before her.
“What happened?” Ahri repeats, gently cupping Akali’s face.
“Some guys were talking shit about my girls,” Akali cracks a smile, “I fucked them up.”
Ahri frowns at her but presses a chaste kiss to Akali’s lips. When she pulls back, she flicks Akali on the forehead.
“You’re stupid and irresponsible,” Ahri scolds, “and you’re lucky I love you.”
“I know,” Akali tells her, softly, “I know.”
Ahri softens at that, brows knitting together and eyes losing any anger. She pinches Akali’s cheek lovingly, before pulling back and examining the rogue.
“What hurts?”
“Ribs and my foot,” Akali says, eyes following her movement.
Ahri hums and takes her left foot into her hand. She tries to turn it and Akali grimaces in pain. The rapper bites her lip, stopping any sounds of pain from escaping and Ahri glances up at her.
“You can say if it hurts,” Ahri remarks, summoning a healing orb, “there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Akali just nods, averting her eyes as Ahri brings the orb to her ankle. Akali stares at the ceiling, breathing out through her nose as the healing orb begins to stitch her bones back together. The sensation is familiar - what can she say? Akali’s accident-prone - but still uncomfortable nonetheless.
Weak, Mayym’s voice sounds in her head, you can’t even handle a night of pain. Suffering is supposed to be your teacher, but you never learn. Why did I waste my time on you?
“That’s good,” Akali interrupts Ahri’s process, moving her leg out of Ahri’s grasp, “let’s go to bed.”
“What?” Ahri’s eyebrows furrow together, “I’m not even close to being done.”
“It’s fine,” Akali insists, gritting her teeth as she tries to get up, but Ahri jumps to her feet, pushing her back down.
“Don’t make me get Eve to restrain you,” Ahri scowls, “sit down.”
“Babe, it’s-”
“Why won’t you just let me help?”
Akali shuts her mouth and averts her eyes. The gumiho sighs, returns to her knees, and resumes healing her ankle.
You don’t deserve it.
“I don’t deserve it,” Akali spits out.
Ahri sighs again and the orb disappears. She sits back on her feet, looking up at Akali.
“Why do you think that?” Ahri’s tone is frustrated, not that Akali blames her, and any chance of any answer dies on Akali’s tongue. Akali clenches her jaws, a thin layer of tears appearing in her eyes that she blinks away.
She doesn’t respond, her mind a whirl. Don’t make it worse. Just shut up. She’s already had to deal with enough of your shit, her mind commands. Akali wrestles with it, and the promise that she made, many months ago, to try and communicate even when it’s hard.
“Darling, why are you still up?” Evelynn calls from the top of the stairs, “Did Akali come back?”
“Yeah,” Ahri responds, “it’s okay, go back to bed.”
“That sounds distinctly like a lie, gumiho,” Evelynn descends the stairs and then freezes at the bottom, “what happened?”
Akali says nothing, clenching her jaw so hard she thinks her teeth might crack, and Ahri squeezes her calf. Ahri looks over at the demon with a shrug.
“She got into a fight,” Ahri answers.
“Did you win?” Evelynn seems to float over to them.
Akali shortly nods. Evelynn presses a kiss to her head and then steps over the back of the couch to sit next to her. Ahri summons the orb once more, continuing to heal as they sit in silence. Evelynn rests her head on Akali’s shoulder, and Akali stiffens.
“I can smell your torment, darling,” Evelynn murmurs, “it makes me want to vomit.”
“Sorry,” Akali says shortly, trying to think positive thoughts and failing. Instead, she averts her eyes, staring at the wall across from them. Evelynn takes her right hand, tracing figure-8s onto it.
“We love you,” Evelynn tells her, “just talk to us.”
“It’s stupid,” Akali grumbles and Evelynn pinches her hand.
Evelynn hums, “What did we say before?”
“If it’s my feelings it’s not stupid,” Akali repeats.
“There, now what’s wrong?” Evelynn presses.
Akali bites her lip, wrestling with her thoughts once more. She wants to be good to them like they’ve been good to her, but she can’t seem to. Everything she does, she just fucks up. They deserve better.
“I feel like I can’t do anything right,” Akali finally admits, fresh tears in her eyes, “I just keep fucking everything up.”
Ahri’s done healing her ankle at this point and looks up at her, “What do you mean?”
“I just,” Akali snarls at her, scrubbing her face with her free hand, “you do so much for me, and every time I try to do something nice, it just backfires. I can’t get the moves down, and Kai has to spend more time teaching me even though they’re easy. I can’t hit the right note and Ahri has to stay longer in the studio. I can’t figure out where a lyric should go, and Eve is stuck with me writing all night. And like now, I can’t let some fucking assholes talk shit about you, but then you guys are stuck taking care of me instead of going to bed.”
“Akali,” Kai’Sa’s voice sounds through the room and the others startle. They all turn to see her behind the couch, a robe wrapped around her. She looks exhausted, her hair disheveled, but there’s a gentle smile on her face.
The others watch as Kai’Sa comes around the couch and sits next to Akali. Wordlessly, Kai’Sa cups Akali’s face, traces the edge of her lips, and presses a kiss to her forehead.
“I don’t mind doing that, it just means we get to spend more time together,” Kai’Sa tells her, “I know how determined you are. You’re doing your best, that’s all you can ever do.”
“Yeah, well my best should be better,” Akali tries to turn her head away, but Kai’Sa’s grip is firm.
“Stop thinking like that,” Kai’Sa commands, voice gentle nevertheless, “I’m not the best singer, but that doesn’t stop the others from helping me. We help you because we love you. It’s not a problem.”
“You need to get out of your head, darling,” Evelynn coos, “you do a lot of nice stuff for us.”
“Sure,” Akali scoffs.
Ahri frowns at her, “You do. You made breakfast this morning because you know how tired Kai was. You drove to that Korean place that’s in the city the other night, just because Eve mentioned it by chance. You always sit in the back, because you know I get car sick. You do nice things all the time, Akali.”
It’s not enough, they’re going to leave you one day. You don’t deserve them.
Akali swallows, fighting back tears. Kai’Sa cradles her head gently, and Akali sniffles, closing her eyes.
“You spent three weeks learning to cook that duck recipe that Kai goes on and on about from home,” Evelynn continues, “you always carry Ahri to bed, when she’s too tired and locked up in her office. You take my cars to get routine check-ups when I forget to. We know you care, darling, let us care about you too.”
At her words, Akali is helpless as her tears begin to fall. She bites her lip, trying to choke down a sob, but Kai’Sa kisses her on the crown of the head, and her walls crumble down. Her chest shakes, pain radiating through her sternum, as Akali cries.
“I-I’m s-sorry,” Akali tells them, “s-sorry f-for-”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Kai’Sa murmurs, holding her close, “it’s okay. Let it out.”
Evelynn curls around her other side, with Ahri still at her feet. The gumiho pouts at the lack of touch and even in her tears, Akali gestures for her to come up. Ahri brightens at that, hugging her midsection. It’s an awkward fit, and Akali’s chest hurts to no avail, but she doesn’t complain.
“You did win, right?” Evelynn repeats.
“‘C-course I did,” Akali says indignantly.
Kai’Sa giggles at that. Akali knows she doesn’t deserve them, knows she’s a broken thing that’ll never be whole, but for now, this is enough.
For now, Akali lets herself be held and cries.