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The world is lit up in dreamy hues of white and blue. Xiao Zhan tightens his grip and lets the familiar weight of the microphone ground him.

There’s a hush in the room, the silence before thunder. The public is eager for a show, judges ready to be wooed and the other contestants to gauge his worth.

Xiao Zhan’s heartbeat is going crazy and he thinks his soulmate must surely feel it, wherever they are. No matter how undeveloped the connection is they probably understand that what’s making his heart try to escape his chest isn’t fear. Not even nerves, not really. 

It’s pure, unadulterated excitement.

The soft lights shift and the opening notes of Cánkù Yuèguāng fill the room.

He sings his first song on X-Fire and knows that, come what may, this is where he is supposed to be.

***

Xiao Zhan has never told this to anyone, but his soulmate is one of the reasons he’s had enough guts to leave Chongqing and try the entertainment industry.

Well, kind of.

The thing about feeling your soulmate’s heartbeat is that it’s really unhelpful. First of all, it’s hardly noticeable. People aren’t all that aware of their own heartbeat most of the time, and even less so of the additional one. If you concentrate, you might be able to detect it, but mostly notice it only when your soulmate experiences an intense emotion that affects their heartbeat. The emotion itself is not always clear, unless it’s a strong one. Xiao Zhan’s heard that people who’ve actually met their soulmate get better at reading it, but it takes time and effort on both parts.

Then there’s the fact that children don’t pay much attention to any of it. They can’t pinpoint the moment they start feeling another heart in their chest, so it’s difficult to say if your soulmate is younger, or older, or the same age as you. Xiao Zhan has no idea about this at all.

And of course heartbeat of all things doesn’t help you find your soulmate. The world doesn’t burst into colour when you meet, there are no flashes or anything like that. You meet someone, get to know them, and if you both feel like it, you can check it as easily as holding your breath in front of each other. But people generally don’t go and do this with just anyone.

Privately, Xiao Zhan likes it this way. Soulmates aren’t just some destined connection where you click as soon as you meet. It takes work and you get to choose whether to find out if this is your person or not.

Still, sometimes it’s nice to listen, really listen, and bask in the knowledge that you are not alone and there’s someone who could, potentially, understand you like no other.

That’s how it’s been for most of Xiao Zhan’s life. An impression here, a hint of emotion there, with a few memorable instances in between.

Except that at nineteen these impressions got stronger. Xiao Zhan didn’t know what made his soulmate’s heart pound so wildly on the regular, whether it was emotion or physical activity, but it only increased with years. Frequent flashes of excitement coming through, it became evident that the person felt things very strongly.

It got Xiao Zhan thinking. By the time he was twenty-three, it got him thinking really hard, through numerous meetings with clients who never seemed to know what they wanted, through long hours of staring at the screen, through creativity exchanged for corporate demand.

What made Xiao Zhan as excited as his soulmate so often seemed to be?

The answer to this question led him straight to the white-blue room, the melody of Cánkù Yuèguāng filling up his lungs and spilling out for all the world to hear.

***

It is only the beginning, of course. Entertainment industry is not an easy path to walk. There are companies that should guide you and do anything but, endless setbacks and opportunities that never pan out, frustrations directed both within and without.

In the middle of all that, something awful happens to his soulmate. Xiao Zhan knows because one day he is hit with a wave of devastation so intense he has to sit down and wait it out. He’s pretty sure his soulmate is crying their heart out - he can feel it stuttering and beating erratically, his own chest constricted with emotions that don’t belong to him. 

It’s the first time their connection is strong enough to translate feelings so clearly, and Xiao Zhan has to wonder just what must’ve happened to have brought this on.

It doesn’t last though. His soulmate seems to get a hold of themselves and move on. At least, Xiao Zhan doesn’t experience any more breakdowns.

Selfishly, he is glad. He himself is not the kind of person to get stuck on bad things, and it looks like his soulmate isn’t either.

So he picks himself up too, whenever there’s trouble, and never forgets the feeling of belonging on stage, in spite of everything else.

In time, singing stage transforms into acting. The new challenge is exciting, and Xiao Zhan throws himself into it head first. It’s how he finds himself with a script that leaks inspiration from every page, and a long stretch of summer ahead of him.

That’s where things get a little confusing.

***

It’s awkward, there’s no way around it.

A new crew is bound to be: people getting used to each other, testing out boundaries, and everything else that comes with learning to coexist for the foreseeable future.

Trying on Wei Wuxian’s skin is both a complication and a blessing, in that he is a leading man and has to step it up, but also can get in character just enough to be a little more outgoing.

The other leading man is currently sitting beside Xiao Zhan, silently watching the crew set up the next scene.

Xiao Zhan glances to the right and searches for something to say. If he doesn’t talk and Wang Yibo doesn’t talk, where does that leave them?

“They’ve really done an outstanding job with the Cloud Recesses setting,” is what he comes up with in the end. Not his best attempt at small talk, but not the worst either.

“Mn,” Wang Yibo nods, maybe because he’s already in Lan Wangji mode. Or he really is that monosyllabic.

“The interior especially impressed me, there are so many details,” he continues, slightly desperately.

Wang Yibo fully turns to him and completely blindsides him. “Oh, that’s right, you used to be a designer, so you probably have an eye for this stuff.”

Xiao Zhan stares incredulously. “How do you even know this?”

“Word gets around,” Wang Yibo shrugs, and Xiao Zhan has a split second of indecision about saying the polite thing or going with his gut.

Screw polite. “Wow, Wang-laoshi engages in crew gossip, who could’ve thought!”

Wang Yibo turns his nose up and answers, “I don’t, people just like to tell me stuff.”

It punches an incredulous laugh out of Xiao Zhan, the corners of his eyes curving up in pleasure. At the same time he feels a twitch in his chest, but it’s only fair, he supposes, to be satisfied by having coaxed something other than shy politeness between the two of them.

“How useful,” he mocks the now smiling Wang Yibo. “But I was more of a logo, brand identity kind of designer, I only dabbed in the interior side of it a little.”

“That’s even cooler!” decides Wang Yibo and proceeds to put Xiao Zhan under the barrage of questions with the enthusiasm of someone who’s never had a normal job.

Xiao Zhan finds he doesn’t mind it too much.

***

“Zhan-ge.”

Xiao Zhan works hard on not letting his lips twitch.

“Zhan-ge.”

There’s something going on in the X-Nine group chat. He stares at the phone screen intently but has no idea what this burst of activity among his bandmates is about, because—

“Xiao Zhan!”

He should probably be annoyed. Horrifyingly, he wants nothing more than to put away his phone and find out what bullshit Yibo has come up with this time.

“Zhan-geee!”

Correction, he wants to see how long Yibo will hold out before hitting him with Bichen even more.

He doesn’t have to wait long. After a few weeks of filming, Yibo’s inhibitions have been lowered to an alarming degree, and the times he denies himself the pleasure of hitting Xiao Zhan are getting farther and farther in between.

Delivering an answering blow, Xiao Zhan grouches, “Aiya, Wang Yibo, can’t you let me live? Will you wither away if I don’t pay attention to you for five minutes?”

Yibo smiles beatifically. “Of course! Xiao-laoshi is like the sun, and we are all bound to perish without him.”

Someone in the throng of people surrounding them has a sudden coughing fit, but instead of getting distracted by it, Xiao Zhan bares his teeth at the brat, “Then perish. Gesekgi! ”

Yibo just cackles and corrects his pronunciation.

“Wait, say it again.”

“Gesekgi.”

“Gesekgi.”

Yibo nods approvingly. He somehow doesn’t mind teaching Xiao Zhan to curse at him in Korean. Nor helping him learn new choreography. Actually, in the last few weeks Xiao Zhan has come to realise that Yibo is a generous, giving person. He regularly buys drinks for the crew, has treated the core cast to a dinner a few times and lately has gotten into the habit of giving Xiao Zhan snacks at odd times.

He’s also humble and hardworking. Young as he is, Yibo is mature where it matters, having grown up in the industry and seen so much of it at an early age. He listens to advise he’s given, soaks up directions, always ready to learn and improve. The two of them have spent many evenings going through the script, discussing the story, the best ways to approach this or that scene.

All in all, he is a good partner to shoulder the responsibility over this project with.

None of that would matter though, if he wasn’t also fun to be around. They have to spend so much time together, be it acting or waiting for the next scene, that enjoying each other’s company is of utmost importance.

They have no trouble with that, Xiao Zhan thinks as their squabbling inevitably leads to a sword fight with a side of sleeve-slapping.

Just as he jumps to avoid Yibo’s oh-so-slow swipe at his legs, someone yells, “Xiao Zhan, they are ready for you!“

He stops immediately, sheathing Suibian. There’s a weird thump in his chest that could almost be disappointment. Except that’s silly, he’s been looking forward to this scene, and no amount of fooling around can make him forget the joy of telling Wei Wuxian’s story.

“Alright, Lao Wang, try not to perish while I’m gone,” Xiao Zhan throws over his shoulder as he turns to go.

“Ssibal!”

Since Yibo can’t see and be all smug about it, Xiao Zhan allows his smile to grow wide in response to the insult.

***

“You could help me, you know, instead of just lazing around,” Yibo says from the other corner of his hotel room, presumably stacking more clothes into a suitcase.

Xiao Zhan, sprawled across Yibo’s bed, rolls his eyes. “Don’t wanna.” He stays silent while Yibo grabs his stuff from the bathroom and then continues whining. “Just don’t go, Yibo-ge. Bo-ge. I’m begging you.”

Yibo, the heartless asshole that he is, just continues packing, so Xiao Zhan raises his voice, “You’ll be gone for three whole days. They are gonna ride me so hard.” That gets him a snort and a dirty smirk, he just knows even if he can’t see Yibo’s face. “Shut up! You know it’s true. I’m gonna be filming from dawn to dawn, mark my words.”

“Pretty sure twenty-four hours of non-stop work is illegal,” Yibo says all calm and logical, and Xiao Zhan kinda wants to strangle him, except he’s far too comfortable to move right now. “And anyway, even if I did cancel everything, they wouldn’t just rework the schedule at the last moment to include my scenes.”

“You could just hang around, become my assistant for a day or two. Keke would appreciate time off.”

“Wow, such generous offer from Xiao-laoshi.”

“Yeah, you could bring me food—”

“I do that already!”

“—and carry my things for me. Maybe hold up my fan when I’m tired.”

“A dream job for sure,” Yibo says dryly while laying out his clothes for tomorrow, finally in Xiao Zhan’s line of vision.

“Fine. Be that way, go to Changsha. You’d be a terrible assistant anyway, you’d drink all my tea without leaving me anything.”

“Just so you know, I’d be the best assistant you’ve ever had,” Yibo says haughtily and moves to stand by the bed, looking at Xiao Zhan from above. “I’d even leave you a few sips of your tea.”

Just for that, Xiao Zhan kicks him, but it’s Yibo’s own fault for putting himself in the vicinity of Xiao Zhan’s legs.

Yibo continues as if nothing happened, “Hey, they’re gonna give you a day off after this, right?”

“I think so,” Xiao Zhan says slowly, trying to remember his own schedule, “yeah, filming for three days, then I’m off. I think it will even be an actual free day for once. No flying to Beijing or anything. There’s a video call with my manager and I still need to learn my lines, but other than that I’m a free man.” He stops and squints suspiciously at Yibo. Well, it’s half suspicion, half the fact that he’s already done the usual evening routine and taken the contacts out, but left glasses in his own hotel room. “Why?”

“I’m starting filming kinda late on the fourth day, and I might be able to rearrange some things to get back early on the third. I thought we could make an evening out of it? Get some actual food and booze, get you completely trashed in whatever video game you choose. You know, a normal evening off.”

Xiao Zhan stares at Yibo’s face.

The thing is, Xiao Zhan knows he’s been spoiled rotten lately. He spends hours in the freezing water, and Yibo gets him a warm coat. He complains about missing sushi, and Yibo makes his assistant stand in line for hours to get them a table at a Japanese restaurant. He skips a meal or two, and Yibo refuses to get off his back until he agrees to eat.

He’s never been so indulged or, for the lack of a better word, taken care of his whole life. It’s a weird feeling, but one he enjoys way too much to put an end to.

It’s clear that once you’ve earned Yibo’s affection, he’s all in. Xiao Zhan’s managed to do exactly that and somewhere along the way let himself relax around Yibo completely, be his most authentic self with the boy.

Yibo is an interesting conundrum, both young and mature, independent and incredibly clingy, hyper energetic and unflinchingly calm at the same time. He matches everything Xiao Zhan throws at him, and Xiao Zhan just likes him so much.

But it’s one thing to be used to this dynamic, to be indulged and allowed to whine to his heart’s content about Yibo leaving him to the joys of intense filming for three days, and another for Yibo to potentially rearrange his busy schedule just to spend an evening playing video games together.

Maybe Yibo just likes obliterating him that much.

“Fuck you, you sadistic bastard,” he says at last and doesn’t miss the way Yibo’s shoulders relax. Huh. “Maybe this time I’ll win.”

“Keep on dreaming, Zhan-ge. So. We’re doing this?”

“Yeah, okay.” It does sound like a nice evening, to be honest. No jetting between two film sets, no working, no nothing. “But don’t think it fully makes up for you abandoning me. I expect those chips from Changsha you brought me last time. The ones with the special flavour.”

“Certainly, Xiao-laoshi, wouldn’t want to disappoint you, Xiao-laoshi,” Yibo chirps enthusiastically and this time manages to avoid Xiao Zhan’s kick.

He turns on bedside night lights and switches off all the others, as if turning in for the night, but then just flops down at the head of the bed above the covers. Being a brat, he also puts his socked feet on Xiao Zhan’s stomach. Admittedly, still splayed lazily across the bed as he is, Xiao Zhan is kind of in Yibo’s way, but that’s neither here nor there.

Xiao Zhan pushes his feet away on principle, but Yibo just puts them back. They repeat the process a few times until Xiao Zhan snaps, “Aiya, Wang Yibo, I’m not a rug!”

“It’s my bed, either get up or deal with it.”

“So cruel,” Xiao Zhan sniffles and finally gives up. “Bullying your gege like this, are you human?”

It gets him a kick in the stomach, so Xiao Zhan grabs Yibo’s ankles to prevent further violence. He seems to settle after this, and the room gets blessedly quiet.

Xiao Zhan rolls his head to the left and looks at Yibo. Even without glasses he can see how tired he is. Still handsome, with his small face, pale skin and full lips, but obviously tired. His schedule really is busy, probably busier than anyone’s among the cast.

“Doesn’t it get too much, flying to Changsha so often?”

“No, not really.” 

Xiao Zhan has to smile at the answer. He’s as much of a workaholic as Xiao Zhan is. 

Yibo props his head against the wall above the headboard and continues, “But even if it was, it would’ve been worth it.”

“How so?”

“Remember how I told you about Uniq splitting?”

“Mn.”

He does remember. They’ve talked about stuff like that, important stuff, quite a lot. Yibo growing up in Korea, building something good with his Uniq brothers only to experience the utter heartbreak of having it taken away. Xiao Zhan deciding he wanted more out of life and signing up for X-Fire, then his own band’s activities slowly dying down. They’ve talked about their managing companies and the countless roadblocks this industry puts in your way, about being in the public eye and how to handle it.

It’s nice to talk to someone who understands idol life, and Yibo understands it more than most.

“It got difficult for a while. Moving to Beijing, basically starting from scratch. But I got into Tian Tian Xiang Shang, and it became a fixed point. The only constant in my life back then. Week after week I came to Changsha, saw the same people. Good people, too.” Yibo chuckles and shakes his head, “They babied me so much, but not in a bad way.”

They didn’t interact at all during Xiao Zhan’s time on the show, but he does remember noticing the hosts’ dynamic, how the youngest one was obviously the baby of the group. Well, that and Yibo’s dancing in that episode. It’d be hard not to notice and even harder to forget.

“When I became a permanent host Han-ge actually called my parents, promised them to take care of me,” Yibo continues with an embarrassed smile. His fondness is so apparent that Xiao Zhan almost feels the swell of it in his own chest. “And he did. Still does. Obviously my circumstances are different now, better. But they are still my family as much as Uniq is. Going to Changsha is like going home.”

Xiao Zhan squeezes Yibo’s ankles — that he’s still holding to stop any possible violence and not for any other reason — in a silent show of understanding while he mulls it over. He pictures Yibo at seventeen, eighteen, taken under the wing of an industry senior like Wang Han, and is endlessly relieved Yibo has such a stellar support system. He deserves nothing less.

“That’s good,” Xiao Zhan says inanely after a while and then smirks up at Yibo to liven up the somber mood. “So, what was your most embarrassing moment on Tian Tian Xiang Shang?”

They talk and talk and talk, and suddenly it’s late, later than is advisable, considering how early they both have to get up.

Eyelids drooping with how tired he is, he gets up under Yibo’s watchful but equally sleepy gaze, eyes the door and nopes out of going all the way back to his room.

“Ugh, I’m so beat, I’m crashing with you tonight. You can either carry me to my room yourself or deal with it,” he mimics Yibo’s words from earlier, already getting under the covers.

See, spoiled. There are very few people he’d dare to be this rude to, but he’s one hundred percent sure Yibo is not only okay with that, but actively welcomes it. It’s a comfortable knowledge, one that lets Xiao Zhan do shit like this without a second thought these days.

Case in point, Yibo just mutters, “Who’s bullying who now, I wonder,” then makes himself comfortable on the other side of the bed.

“Your flight is super early, right? Wake me up too, don’t let me oversleep,” Xiao Zhan remembers to say.

“Seems like a job for Xiao-laoshi’s assistant,” Yibo quips, because he doesn’t ever stop, even ten seconds before falling asleep. “I’ll do it if you admit I’d be a good assistant to you.”

“Fine, fine, the best one. Happy?” Xiao Zhan mutters into the pillow, half-unconscious already. “Yibo-ge is the best.”

He falls asleep to Yibo’s satisfied cackling.

***

Yibo does wake him up in the morning, and the filming does get intense, so much so that Xiao Zhan barely resurfaces from Wei Wuxian’s mind for the whole first day. The second is slightly better, with at least some room to breathe.

Still, Xiao Zhan is exhausted by midday, having gotten very little sleep the night before. Usually at this point he and Yibo start hitting each other to stay awake, but Yibo is too busy being babied in Changsha. Xiao Zhan is not irritated by this, not at all, especially since the boy just told him how much Tian Tian Xiang Shang means to him.

Okay, maybe he is irritated just the slightest bit, but only because he’s tired and more or less used to Yibo’s presence at his side at all times.

“Da-Cheng, hit me.”

Zhuocheng side-eyes him. “No.”

“Why not?” Xiao Zhan’s eyebrows shoot up. “You used to do it all the time!”

“Yeah, but you and Yibo get all weird about it, I want no part of it.” With that, Zhuocheng turns back to his phone.

“What do you mean ‘weird’?”

Zhuocheng just shakes his head, eyes glued to the screen.

Xiao Zhan throws himself on a bench beside Xuan Lu. “Shijie, he’s being mean to me!”

“Aw, poor Xianxian,” she says laughingly and even pats his hair because she’s nice like that.

“That’s right!” Xiao Zhan resolutely doesn’t stick his tongue at Zhuocheng, even if he really wants to.

It’s possible that the line between him and Wei Wuxian gets blurry at times. He’s definitely more whiny, more cheeky and shameless, more outgoing than he usually is. Two months into filming, the man is as real to Xiao Zhan as any of the actual people he knows. Xiao Zhan feels his emotions and thinks his thoughts so often and so deeply that Wei Wuxian is more like a friend than a character he’s playing. 

Xiao Zhan knows some of his attachment to the cast, Zhuocheng and Xuan Lu in particular, is due to that, but they are genuinely awesome people he’d like to keep in touch with even after filming is done.

That’s still months away though. A whole lifetime judging by the way time feels on this set, and right now Xiao Zhan can lay his head on Xian Lu’s shoulder and sigh as theatrically as he can. Shijie might be Wei Wuxian’s favourite person, but Xiao Zhan’s affection for Lulu is no less real. Is it so bad to mix these two things? A’Ling is a special project, Xiao Zhan has known this for a while now, and there’s no reason not to enjoy every aspect of it.

It’s quiet for a few minutes, until Xuan Lu asks, “So what’s got you so down?”

Xiao Zhan raises his head and looks at her in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“You seem quieter than usual.”

“I’m just tired. I think?” He genuinely hasn’t noticed acting differently, but if Lulu says so it must be true. He should pay closer attention, it wouldn’t do to make everyone’s job harder by throwing off the rhythm. Being more tired than usual due to the other lead going away is not an excuse. It’s not even the first time Yibo’s been gone for a few days, but it is the time Xiao Zhan feels his absence especially acutely. Maybe it’s not too surprising, with them basically living in each other’s pockets these days.

“But I’m fine, I promise,” he continues after zoning out for a few moments.

“If you’re sure.” Xuan Lu raises an eyebrow but lets it go and ropes him into trying out a new dance with her.

Zhuocheng joins them, evidently only interested in his phone when he wants to get out of something.

It makes Xiao Zhan forget about his exhaustion, and the next few hours go by without a hitch. He’s on another break when Keke comes over and hands him his phone.

“Sorry, it won’t stop, I thought you might want to get it,” she says.

“Thank you.”

With a foreboding feeling, he takes the phone, and sure enough, there’s a barrage of messages from Yibo. Xiao Zhan rolls his eyes. It’s like the boy is off vacationing and not filming a host show for national television.

It starts pretty standard, Yibo asking if he’s eaten, threatening bodily harm if he hasn’t, then complaining about boredom. Then there’s a selfie. Of course. Xiao Zhan sighs and opens it, already lamenting the waste of data.

Yibo is on stage, his face scrunched up with laughter that transforms his eyes into half-moons. He looks happy, exactly like someone coming home would.

Xiao Zhan saves the photo.

There’s also a message accompanying it.

“not bored anymore”

Xiao Zhan glances around, makes sure he’s not needed at the moment and replies.

“fine, I’ll bite. what’s so funny?”

He gets another picture almost immediately. Further on stage, Da Zhangwei is frozen with what seems like an agitated bird on his head. Near him is Wang Han, an equally agitated bird perched on his arm, its wings flapping and making the man tilt backwards with a hilarious expression on his face.

Xiao Zhan snorts. Tian Tian Xiang Shang really is as chaotic as Yibo says.

“poor da-laoshi”

“where’s your bird though?”

“we’re just waiting for this segment to start, they want to make me handle a bird on camera”

“of course they do”

“please get someone to film it on your phone and send me this footage”

“you just want to laugh at me. how cruel of you, xiao-laoshi”

“i would NEVER”

“don’t think i didn’t notice you ignoring my text about food btw”

“ah wang-laoshi distracted me with his devilish good looks, i forgot about everything else”

“i mean”

“it won’t work”

“but do continue”

“what’s the point if it won’t work”

“spoilsport”

“fine”

“back to the point, i’m gonna make you eat so much food tomorrow”

“you know, i’m suddenly having second thoughts. maybe we should cancel the whole thing”

“don’t you dare, i have a flight booked and everything”

“ugh”

“i guess we can’t waste tickets”

“no we can’t”

“how’s filming? you were pretty quiet yesterday”

“yeah it was super busy”

“today’s better”

“but zhuocheng refuses to hit me”

“wow i would NOT have the same problem”

“i know, right? how am i supposed to stay awake”

“Tell Yibo I say hi,” Xuan Lu appears out of the blue, startling Xiao Zhan.

He frowns, “How do you know it’s Yibo?”

“Just a guess,” she shrugs and adds, “the break’s over, come on.”

“Lulu says hi”

“i gotta go, lao wang, try not to get mauled by a bird”

“anything for xiao-laoshi”

“hi to lulu too”

Energised by a brief break, Xiao Zhan goes to work. Just before diving into the scene though, he catches himself thinking that it’d be hilarious if Yibo did get mauled by a bird, just a tiny bit. He’d like a video of that very much.

After that, Xiao Than lets Wei Wuxian settle into his thoughts for the rest of the day.

***

“sorry, zhan-ge, i can’t make it. i’ll explain later”

Xiao Zhan stares at the message.

Okay.

It happens. There’s certainly no need to feel like he’s been stood up. That would be ridiculous on so many levels.

He glances at baijiu bottles lined up on the table and numerous containers of take out he’s ordered.

Okay.

But Yibo texted him only an hour ago saying he’d landed and would soon be at the hotel. What could’ve happened in such short a time? 

The most obvious answer is work. It’s almost definitely work. Xiao Zhan knows perfectly well how something can come up at the most unfortunate moments.

It’s just that he’s unprepared for the wave of disappointment that hits him. Apparently he’s been looking forward to this break more than he thought. 

Well, there’s nothing to it.

“no problem, i’ll see you tomorrow then”

He eats a portion of wontons without much enthusiasm. He could take the rest to other guys, make it a party. He’s pretty sure at least Xuan Lu, Zhuocheng and Yubin are at the hotel right now. But he’s not really in the mood for that.

So he cleans up and gets ready for bed. Maybe Yibo’s emergency is actually a blessing in disguise. There’s quite a sleep debt Xiao Zhan has accumulated in the last few days, so it’s probably better to get on that than stay awake into long hours of the night anyway.

***

He wakes up to a loud pounding on his door. Barely aware, he staggers from the bed to open it and is met with Yibo’s bright grin.

“Finally!”

“What? What time is it?”

“Just after ten, how were you even still asleep?”

Ten? Fuck. Did he sleep for thirteen hours straight? It must’ve been one hell of a debt.

He makes vague sleepy noises and motions for Yibo to come in, but heads to the bathroom next. If Yibo felt like waking Xiao Zhan up he can suffer the consequences and wait until Xiao Zhan washes his face and brushes his teeth.

Marginally more awake, he steps back into the room. Yibo, a neat freak that he is at times, has made Xiao Zhan’s bed and is sitting at the foot of it. As Xiao Zhan plops down next to him, he drops a bag into Xiao Zhan’s lap and hands him a Starbucks cup.

“Ooh, feeling guilty, are we?” It’s a joke of course, Xiao Zhan never thought to blame Yibo even when he got upset yesterday.

The bag turns out to be full of the promised chips from Changsha. He opens a pack immediately and starts munching, but pauses when he sees the expression on Yibo’s face.

“I’m sorry for bailing on you yesterday,” he says with weird intensity, “I hope you weren’t too, um, disappointed?”

Xiao Zhan snorts, “Wow, the size of your ego, Wang Yibo… It might be hard for you to imagine, but I won’t fall apart after a cancelled night of video games.” Then, because Yibo goes from looking intense to genuinely guilty anyway, he nudges him with a foot and adds, “Seriously, it’s fine. I just went to sleep. As you can see, I really needed it.”

“Still, I’m sorry, I really wanted to do this.”

“I know. But work has to come first, right? I get it.”

“It wasn’t work.”

“What was it then?” Xiao Zhan asks, curious about what else could make Yibo cancel on him.

“Seungyoun wasn’t feeling too well yesterday. He called when I was on my way from the airport and, well.”

He trails off, but there’s no need to continue.

By now Xiao Zhan’s already figured out Yibo is one of the good ones. Has praised him in interviews and meant it. Seen it every day in how kind, smart, sincere he is.

Yet it hits him now, hard.

He knows Yibo holds him in high regard and treats him differently from everyone else on set. He also knows Yibo’s been looking forward to their evening a lot, rearranged his schedule to make it happen.

Despite all this, he cancelled when his friend needed him.

This is stupid. That’s what any decent person would at do. And Seungyoun is not just anyone. Even knowing Yibo for a few months, Xiao Zhan is aware that the guy is a huge part of Yibo’s life, so it’s not even surprising.

But for some reason Yibo sacrificing their plans for the sake of his friend, out of everything, makes Xiao Zhan realise he might be in trouble here.

Yibo is just so good.

Xiao Zhan would really like whatever pathetic thing his insides are doing to stop. It’s awful, he did not sign up for this.

“Stop it,” Yibo cuts through Xiao Zhan’s thoughts with a light slap against his knee.

“What?” For a second he thinks Yibo might’ve somehow noticed his little freakout.

“You’re looking at me all weird.”

“You’re looking weird.”

“What a comeback from the eloquent Xiao Zhan, I’m so impressed!”

“Shut the fuck up.” He pokes the boy’s ribs and returns to his chips. His insides are doing better now, but he’s still reeling, so he can’t help but say quietly to the pack in his lap, “You did good, didi.”

“What?”

“You did good yesterday,” he mutters again.

“I’m sorry, can you say it one more time, I don’t think I heard you.”

Xiao Zhan looks up to glare at Yibo for being an asshole and all but shouts, “I said you’re the worst for abandoning me yesterday and I will never forgive you!”

It makes Yibo smile one of his soft smiles, the heart-shaped ones that bunch up his cheeks.

When exactly has Xiao Zhan started noticing these things?

“So how is he?”

“Huh?”

“Seungyoun, is he okay?”

“Oh,” Yibo sobers up, “yeah, I think he’s fine. Just needed someone to talk to. It gets difficult sometimes, with things up in the air as they are.”

Before Xiao Zhan can respond, Yibo’s phone lights up with a message.

“Ugh, I gotta go. Haikuan-ge is waiting for me downstairs, the bus is picking us up in five minutes,” Yibo hurries to say as he gets to his feet. “That’s why I woke you up, I wanted to clear things up before going.”

“Consider them cleared up,” Xiao Zhan mock-toasts with the Starbucks cup.

Halfway out of the door, Yibo turns back and jabs a finger at him, “I’m gonna come over tonight so we can decide when to do our evening of decadence, okay?”

“‘kay.”

Well, there’s no way out now. Xiao Zhan wants to keep the brat and that’s that.

***

It’s so hot Xiao Zhan kind of wants to cry. But there’d be no tears even if he did because every drop of liquid in his body comes out in sweat. 

July has been merciless so far: hot, humid and full of mosquitos. No amount of cold drinks and little electric fans can save him, and Wei Wuxian’s thick robes just make everything a thousand times worse.

“Can’t you steal Lan Zhan’s robes and wear them to annoy him or something,” Xiao Zhan grouches at Wei Wuxian in his head as he wraps himself in yet another layer.

Bathroom breaks are a blessing in that Xiao Zhan has a chance to breathe for a few minutes, but are also a curse since he has to put every layer back into place, which is always worse after a few hours of filming.

Sighing, Xiao Zhan gets back outside and is instantly hit by a wall of humidity. He feels almost dizzy with it for a second. 

God, he and Yibo better not mess up the next scene, he can’t take much more today. Thoughts of a shower and an air-conditioned room are too tempting to burst into spontaneous laughter too much today.

Yibo’s been quiet the last couple of hours, so there’s even a real chance of a quick wrap-up for the day.

With that in mind, Xiao Zhan hurries to get back, but then trips on thin air. The dizziness from earlier comes back with vengeance, along with nausea, and his heart starts doing weird irregular things.

Oh, it must be his soulmate.

It’s been a while since he felt something so strong from them. Been trying not to think of them lately too, because it always comes with a vague sense of guilt. For whom and because of what, he resolutely does not try to figure out, so the whole thing has been largely ignored.

Xiao Zhan takes a deep breath, then another, trying to tell his body that it’s okay and nothing is actually happening to it. It works, at least well enough that he feels like going back to work won’t be a problem.

Except that when he gets back, people are moving in a distinctly panicky way, and someone is yelling, and director Chen is on the phone, and everything is extremely chaotic.

Xiao Zhan makes it to the eye of the storm and tugs at a pale Ji Li.

“What happened?”

Ji Li presses his lips together and nods at something even Xiao Zhan with his height can’t see though the crowd. “Yibo collapsed.”

***

When Xiao Zhan was seventeen, he was taken to a hospital because it seemed like he had heart problems. It took a few tests to determine that no, he was perfectly healthy. Apparently, it was a common mistake to make if your soulmate had some kind of heart condition.

It must’ve been something serious, Xiao Zhan thought at the time, for him to feel it so strongly.

So, theoretically, if Xiao Zhan ever wanted to check if someone was his soulmate he wouldn’t even need to do the cliche holding-your-breath trick. He could start by asking that person if they had a heart problem back in 2008. It would probably make everything clear.

Xiao Zhan can’t stop thinking about it now, after Yibo’s been taken to a hospital and spent a night there. After Xiao Zhan had to get himself together and cut all his emotions off to get through work that day and the next one. After Yibo texted him at lunch with a simple i’m back. After a tired bus ride back to the hotel in the evening.

Call him paranoid, but feeling his soulmate getting sick and not five minutes later finding out Yibo had collapsed because of an almost-heatstroke seems like something that could make a thing or two clear too.

Then again, it could be a coincidence. 

Saying goodbye to everyone and promising to make Yibo appear in the group chat, Xiao Zhan steps out of the elevator. He eyes Yibo’s door but decides against it. Yibo isn’t going anywhere, and a shower would not only feel heavenly after another hot day on set, but would also give him an opportunity to think.

He stares at the water spiralling down the drain, at his toes, at the shower wall, but can’t for the life of him decide if he’s ready to find out whether his paranoia is not paranoia at all. If it isn’t, things could get messy.

In the end, what makes him finally go knocking on Yibo’s door is not any kind of decision at all but a need to make sure the he’s alright.

The door opens to Yibo in all his tired glory.

“You look like shit,” Xiao Zhan says, partly to start the evening on the right foot — right for them anyway — and partly because it is true. There are bags under Yibo’s eyes, his face is too pale, and his body sags with exhaustion even after a whole day of rest. But he looks relatively fine, and something in Xiao Zhan unclenches for the first time in two days.

Yibo frowns. “That can’t be right. Photographers always say I have exquisite features.”

“I used to dabble in photography and I say you look like shit.”

He pushes his way in and closes the door behind him. The room is tidy, as it usually is, with only a few things scattered here and there. There’s a Nintendo Switch on the bedside table, so maybe Yibo hasn’t been resting today as much as his body obviously needs. But right next to the Switch is a half-empty bottle of water, so that’s at least something.

“Wow, is that any way to talk to a sick person?” At that, Xiao Zhan whirls around and whatever is on his face makes Yibo backtrack immediately, “Just kidding, I’m okay, I swear. They gave me an IV and kept me overnight just in case, that’s it.”

“Aiya, I literally left you for fifteen minutes and you had to go and collapse. Can’t I even go to the bathroom anymore?” Xiao Zhan says in his whiniest voice and starts pushing Yibo towards the bed. He doesn’t intend to keep him from much needed bedrest even while bitching just a little bit.

“I did say people perish without Xiao-laoshi, so…” Yibo quips but for once doesn’t protest and gets under the covers without complaints. 

“Guess I’ll just have to put you in my pocket and carry with me wherever I go,” Xiao Zhan throws over his shoulder as he gets more bottles of water from the mini-fridge.

“I guess so,” Yibo grins all smug but then blanches at the two bottles Xiao Zhan puts in front of him. “I can’t drink all of that.”

“Tough shit, you’re gonna have to.”

When Yibo just grimaces at him Xiao Zhan makes himself comfortable at the foot of the bed, crosses his legs and looks at Yibo seriously.

“You kinda really scared us yesterday,” he says, all traces of humour gone from his voice. “I know you probably got a lecture from doctors already, and your manager too,” Yibo makes a face, so it was probably quite a conversation, “but you need to take better care of yourself, didi.”

Yibo rubs his face, “Zhan-ge, I really am fine, it was just a fluke.”

“Yibo.” It makes him look up and pay attention to what Xiao Zhan says next. Good, because it’s time for the heavy artillery. “If you don’t do it, I’ll stop hydrating properly and won’t eat anything you get me.”

“Bullshit, you wouldn’t,” Yibo goes from exasperated to scandalised so fast it’s hilarious, but Xiao Zhan limits his reaction to just shrugging nonchalantly. “Zhan-ge, you’re a bastard.”

“Mn.”

“For fuck’s sake, okay, okay! But if I drink, you drink too,” he throws Xiao Zhan one of the bottles.

He catches it without problem but doesn’t make a move to open it. “Gotta wait until it warms up a bit. Why don’t you finish that one first?” Xiao Zhan nods at the half-full bottle on the bedside table.

Making intense eye contact, Yibo sits up and aggressively does just that, as if proving some kind of point.

Xiao Zhan just grins. “Good boy. You should probably let everyone else know you’re alive. They’ve been really worried. Even wanted to come over, but Lulu said all of us at once would be too loud for you.”

“I’ll have to thank her,” Yibo grumbles but reaches for his phone.

Xiao Zhan feels his own vibrate a minute later, and a brief glance confirms Yibo's written something in A'Ling’s group chat. The barrage of answers is instantaneous, but Xiao Zhan ignores it for the time being.

Now that he can see Yibo is alright, the other issue slams back to the forefront of his mind.

Should he ask? What if they really are soulmates? What would Yibo’s reaction be? It’s kind of a lot to spring on a person, doubly so in their line of work. Does Xiao Zhan himself even want to deal with this, when his first priority is filming A’Ling?

Yibo laughs at something in the group chat, which yanks Xiao Zhan out of his spiralling thoughts and makes him focus on Yibo’s face instead.

Maybe having him as a soulmate wouldn’t be the most awful thing in the world. Hasn’t Xiao Zhan already decided he wanted to keep him in his life, out of his own volition, before the first hint of suspicion even crept in?

“Yibo.”

Yibo types something one last time and then puts his phone away, “Yeah?”

Here goes nothing.

“Did you have heart problems when you were—” Xiao Zhan does a quick math, “eleven?”

“Wow, Zhan-ge, have you been watching Produce 101?”

“What?”

“I talked about it in one of the episodes, isn’t that what you’re—” Yibo is smart, and quick, it’s no wonder he freezes right then and there. He stares at Xiao Zhan. “Yes, myocarditis.”

Fuck. Okay. So it’s true.

“Oh. So it’s true,” Yibo echos his thoughts, except wait, what?

“You knew?”

“I mean, I suspected—”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Xiao Zhan finally moves to hit Yibo’s nearest limb.

What the hell? How could he suspect anything when Xiao Zhan didn’t have a clue before yesterday?

Yibo does not hesitate to hit back, just as exasperated. “What exactly could I have said? ‘Hey, Zhan-ge, I think we’re soulmates because I feel things sometimes’. It doesn’t sound weird at all! Heartbeat is the worst thing to identify a soulmate by, I swear.” No objection from Xiao Zhan there. “Have you noticed anything?”

“No!” He hasn’t, right? He genuinely didn’t know. But now he thinks on the last couple of months and maybe, maybe, there might have been moments when he felt things that didn’t belong to him.   But it’s so hard to tell, because, well. “We’ve been kind of in synch lately, I might’ve not understood if what I was feeling was yours or mine.”

Yibo’s right, this heartbeat thing is insanely vague.

“I guess that’s fair,” Yibo nods and scoots closer, “so why now? Did you feel something yesterday?”

“Yeah, right about when you collapsed. And if you were sick as a child at the same time as my soulmate…” He trails off because the conclusion is obvious enough.

Yibo chews his lower lip and looks Xiao Zhan up and down, the gears in his head obviously shifting fast. Then he grabs Xiao Zhan’s forearm and grins.

“Zhan-ge, hold your breath!”

Seriously?

“Fuck off, we’re not doing this. It’s pretty much clear by now anyway.”

“That’s not fair! You felt it yesterday, I want to feel it too.” Yibo squeezes his arm and shakes it for good measure.

“This is so stupid,” Xiao Zhan mutters but makes Yibo let go and sit back. “Ready?”

Yibo nods eagerly, closing his eyes.

This trick is simple but effective if both parties go into it knowingly and pay close attention. The longer you hold your breath the better. At first the heart slows, not much but enough to be noticeable, and then, when you start breathing again, goes in an overdrive to make up for the lost oxygen.

Xiao Zhan holds out for as long as he can, just so they are both sure, and gasps for air when it becomes too much.

Yibo’s eyes fly open and he takes Xiao Zhan’s wrist to feel his pulse.

“Yeah?” Xiao Zhan asks, suddenly nervous, even if he was already convinced a minute ago.

In response Yibo gives the brightest smile Xiao Zhan has seen on him so far. “Yeah.”

Xiao Zhan twists his hand to check Yibo’s pulse too. It’s steady, steadier than Xiao Zhan’s. If Yibo feels a quickened heartbeat, it can’t be his own. So.

He laughs shakily. “Well, there you go.”

Yibo nods but for once stays silent, looking at Xiao Zhan’s wrist, his thumb still on the pulse.

Xiao Zhan gets it. Finding your soulmate is exciting. Them being someone you already like is great. But what’s next? If most dramas, movies and books are to be believed, they should profess their undying love for each other and get married immediately.

Of course, real life is much more complicated than that. Soulmate bonds aren’t necessarily romantic in nature. Friends can be soulmates. Siblings, too. Anyone can be soulmates.

He peers up at Yibo. 

Of course he knows their banter has been skirting heavily into flirting territory, the line all but blurred by now. But the thing about this summer is that it feels almost like a dream, real world far removed even with regular flights to Beijing and the Joy of Life set. Everyone from producers to directors, to the crew, to the cast, they are all creating something beautiful here, Xiao Zhan knows it, can feel it every day. They sweat and work, then work some more, pour their everything into this project that has such tremendous potential. 

He gets high on this feeling, and Yibo is right there with him. He’s there when Xiao Zhan is more Wei Wuxian than anything else, he’s there when Xiao Zhan is just Xiao Zhan, he’s there when they get a scene exactly right like it’s the most natural thing in the world, he’s there when they all decompose at the hotel in the evenings, he’s there in the sweltering heat of the forest and the freezing cold of the cave they film in. He’s there with Xiao Zhan, being in love with every second of filming A’Ling.

It can’t not mess with your head, alright?

And now there’s this soulmate issue added to the mix. Defining what kind of bond it is seems like something that could ruin an already precarious balance, and Xiao Zhan just can’t allow it. It’d be disastrous if things went sour before the filming’s end.

So. Maybe they can deal with it one thing at a time.

“Zhan-ge,” Yibo taps his wrist, evidently also having finished processing, “guess what?”

“What?”

“We’re soulmates.”

Xiao Zhan snorts. “You’re a little slow today, aren’t you?”

“Give me a break, I basically just won a lottery. My soulmate is Xiao Zhan himself, you know, a famous idol, a singer with angelic voice, an incomparable actor. I bet if I posted about it on Weibo right now I would break so many hearts…” He makes a show of reaching for his phone.

“Fine, fine, you win,” Xiao Zhan tugs him back. “We’re soulmates. There, happy?”

“Happy,” Yibo nods enthusiastically. The worst thing is that the asshole says it with complete sincerity.

Xiao Zhan can’t help but smile at him in return. Just this once. As a treat.

“Well?” Yibo raises an eyebrow.

“Well what?”

“Are you happy?”

Of course Yibo’s not satisfied with just a treat. “Are you actually fishing for compliments right now?”

“So what? For all I know you’re crying on the inside.”

“I mean,” Xiao Zhan makes a dramatic pause just for the pleasure of getting a glare from him, “I guess it could be worse.”

Just before Yibo can sputter in indignation, Xiao Zhan swipes his thumb on Yibo’s wrist in a soothing motion. Only once, up and down, but he settles immediately.

God, he is so easy sometimes, truly like a puppy, Xiao Zhan thinks with a stab of fondness.

Yibo straightens up abruptly. “Did you just…” He squints and taps Xiao Zhan’s chest, right over his heart. “I felt that.”

“What?”

“I felt that,” he repeats, gremlin smirk creeping up to the edges of his mouth. “You like me so much!”

“No I don’t!” Xiao Zhan cries indignantly. How the hell is Yibo so perceptive? He hides behind his hands and groans. “This is the worst!”

“This is actually the best, Zhan-ge, it’s gonna be so much fun!” The glee in Yibo’s voice is only slightly maniacal, which is… some kind of relief. “They say these bonds only grow stronger the longer soulmates stay in contact. I heard some people can even read each other’s minds!”

“That’s not terrifying at all,” Xiao Zhan grimaces, “But I’m pretty sure that last one is bullshit anyway.”

“Yeah, definitely, but the rest of it is kind of interesting though, isn’t it? Don’t you want to find out more?”

He actually does, he has to admit. His parents aren’t soulmates, but he’s heard and read some interesting stuff about soulmate bonds, and he wouldn’t mind testing the waters.

But Yibo yawns just then. Right, a spike of adrenalin caused by this whole thing is probably not enough to fight his exhaustion for long.

“I do, but not tonight,” Xiao Zhan says, looking around for his phone.

Just after eleven. Not too late, but better be safe than sorry. Plus he himself is pretty tired after all the worrying of the last two days. Going back through everything in his head, alone, would probably do him good too.

“Why not?”

“You were literally in a hospital this morning. You just promised me to be more careful, so shut up and rest.” It’s better to go on the offensive before Yibo starts whining. “You haven’t even started a new bottle of water. It should be warm enough by now.”

“I don’t see you drinking yours,” Yibo answers, sullen, since he knows he can’t convince Xiao Zhan to continue figuring everything out tonight.

“Not a problem,” Xiao Zhan says serenely and opens the bottle, not taking his eyes off Yibo until he does the same.

Brooding suddenly forgotten, Yibo smirks, “I bet I can finish it faster that you!” He starts drinking immediately.

Xiao Zhan sputters, “Why is everything a competition with you?!”

He is definitely above such childish things. He is. 

Xiao Zhan reaches for Yibo’s bottle, yanks it down to give himself a head start and guzzles down his own water.

He beats Yibo by two seconds at most but makes sure to rub it in anyway.

“Lao Wang, you must be very sick indeed, to lose like that. You poor thing!”

“It’s not shameful to lose to a senior, Zhan-ge, you need these little joys in your old age,” Yibo flutters his eyelashes, completely unrepentant.

Xiao Zhan bares his teeth at the brat. “I’ll show you old,” he mutters and gets up from the bed, swatting Yibo on the head because it’s basically his duty.

Picking up the empty bottles, he throws them into the bin. There’s nothing else to clean up, so he turns back towards the bed.

Yibo raises an eyebrow. “Are you showing me that old people throw away their trash?”

Xiao Zhan flips him off. “Because you’re sick, I’m not gonna go over there and hit you. Appreciate it.” Also because he’s too lazy to go all the way back. Judging by Yibo’s snort, he hears what’s left unsaid anyway. “I’m going now, Lao Wang. Get some rest, okay? We can talk more about everything tomorrow.”

“Fine, I guess I could sleep,” Yibo replies with a yawn and twists around until he’s fully covered by the blanket. He turns to face Xiao Zhan and waves him off.

Xiao Zhan takes a step towards the door but throws a suspicious glance over his shoulder. “You’re gonna stay up and Baidu soulmate bonds, aren’t you?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to wonder about while you go do your old man things.”

“Fucking asshole,” Xiao Zhan shakes his head and resumes the trek out of the room.

“Good night, soulmate!” Yibo yells at him, voice sugary sweet.

Xiao Zhan makes barfing noises. Yibo probably expects it to be the end of it, but it wouldn’t do to prove him right. So Xiao Zhan calls back, “See you in the morning, soulmate!”

Yibo’s answering cackle is so loud it can be heard even through the door.

***

They do Baidu it, separately and together, which inspires a bout of experimenting in the next few weeks.

Purely for the sake of pursuing the truth and understanding their bond better, Xiao Zhan shoves a bug in Yibo’s face and delights in a panicked thud in his own chest before Yibo pushes him away and hides behind Ziyi.

“But I felt it, Yibo-ge, isn’t that what we’re trying to accomplish here?” Xiao Zhan asks innocently later.

Yibo grumbles but lets Xiao Zhan coax him, so he probably isn’t too upset by this underhanded tactic.

It proves to be untrue when Xiao Zhan dozes off against a wall in between takes during a night shoot and Yibo yells at the top of his lungs into Xiao Zhan's ear to wake him up.

“But I felt it, gege! It was for the sake of science,” the brat blinks up at him, not even trying to curb his vindictive smirk.

So fright turns out to be an easy emotion to feel through the bond. They cement this knowledge during one of the cast’s movie nights. Xiao Zhan has never really been the jumpy type while watching scary movies, but he finds out what it’s like with Yibo by his side, both of them twitching nervously for two hours until the credits finally roll.

“I thought you were okay with horror?” Zhuocheng asks incredulously.

“Haha, I guess this guy is contagious or something,” Xiao Zhan pets Yibo’s head a few times where it’s been hidden in Xiao Zhan’s shoulder for the last half an hour.

He ends up taking Yibo back to his own room, both because the boy complains incessantly and because Xiao Zhan would like to sleep through the night without waking up every five minutes due to Yibo getting scared of another shadow.

“It wasn’t even that scary,” Xiao Zhan grouches as Yibo throws a leg over his and captures his forearm in a death grip.

“I’m picking the movie next time,” Yibo grumps in return.

They pull the plug on this particular method of experimentation after that, but it doesn’t stop Yibo from showing his gremlin side in other ways. One evening Xiao Zhan is minding his business when a sudden loud noise comes from the room across the hall.

“DU-DU-DU-DU-DU!”

Xiao Zhan stares at the door, perfectly aware whose room the jumbled Korean song is coming from. The walls in the hotel are pretty thin, but this is ridiculous.

“OH YEAH OH YEAH!”

He grabs his phone and fires off a message with explicit instructions for Yibo to shut the fuck up. 

When it doesn’t work, Xiao Zhan opens his door and shouts, “Wang Yibo, shut up!”

There’s a pause. Then, “OH YEAH OH YEAH!” accompanied by a gleeful thump in Xiao Zhan’s chest.

Really? 

“I’m gonna drink a boatload of energy drinks tomorrow and then top it all off with coffee until we’re both shaking so much you won’t be able to keep a hold on Bichen!”

Another pause. This one transforms into actual silence. It’s entirely possible Yibo really would feel all of that if Xiao Zhan would be suicidal enough to do it to himself.

“That’s what I thought,” he shouts and shuts the door.

The next day, Xiao Zhan gets to complain about all this on camera, plus Yibo teaches him the song and the dance it comes with, so Xiao Zhan generously lets the whole incident go.

Thanks to them both flying out for other work commitments, they get to test how the bond behaves when they are away from each other. If Xiao Zhan thought the distance would get in the way, he is proven wrong. Their WeChat conversation fills with messages like was that you or me?, and what are you so happy about?, and stop freaking out, you’re gonna nail this, and what the hell even was this?

The distance does help Xiao Zhan figure out a new trick. If he listens to the heartbeat hard enough, there’s a difference when Yibo is close and when he isn’t. Once they realise it, they use to mess with the rest of the cast. 

“Why are we the only ones wearing black in this weather, it’s so unfair,” Yu Bin whines from where he’s sitting across from Xiao Zhan.

“It’s so we look cooler than everyone else, Binbin,” Xiao Zhan tries half-heartedly.

Yu Bin snorts. “Right. How much do you wanna bet people will take one look an Lan Wangji’s pristine white robes and decide he’s the coolest one here?”

Unfortunately he’s got a point, so Xiao Zhan can’t even object.

“Plus we’ve been slavering away all morning, and he’s gonna show up fresh as a daisy,” Yu Bin continues. “Where is he anyway, isn’t he in the next scene?”

Xiao Zhan inclines his head backwards, trying not to smirk too much. “He’s coming.”

Yu Bin glances behind Xiao Zhan’s back and, sure enough, raises his hand in greeting. He turns his attention back to Xiao Zhan immediately though.

“Wait, how did you know he was there?”

“You mean you didn’t hear him? He’s like an elephant, that Wang Yibo,” Xiao Zhan says, turning just as Yibo finally reaches them and sits down.

“Dissing me already?” He elbows Xiao Zhan and says to Yu Bin, completely serious, “Xiao-laoshi just has superb hearing, it’s another one of his many, many talents.”

It’s not even a complete lie, Xiao Zhan technically did hear him approach, even if it had more to do with his heartbeat than his steps.

Still, “Wang-laoshi, have mercy, I’ve been filming for hours, let’s not start, okay?”

As they continue bickering, Yu Bin’s surprise fades away, but it was satisfying enough that Xiao Zhan has no doubt they’re gonna try doing it again.

It’s not all fun and games, of course, considering the effect the bond has on their work.

They film Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji parting in the rain, and for once Xiao Zhan finishes first. He stands wrapped in a towel among the crew, all of them focused on Yibo still standing under the fake rain. 

Wei Wuxian is raging inside him even now, but quieter with every second. It takes Xiao Zhan a moment to realise it’s because other emotions are rearing their head, the ones that don’t belong to him or A-Xian.

Xiao Zhan knows Yibo doesn’t lose himself in his character, not the way Xiao Zhan does, but right now Yibo is drowning in heartbreak. Sorrow and regret and an awful tenderness are tearing his heart apart, and Xiao Zhan has to put a hand on his own in an attempt to stave off the pain. He watches as Yibo drops the umbrella and lets the rain pour on him, washing away the last of his hope.

For a moment, Xiao Zhan feels three people clamouring inside him. There’s Lan Wangji, letting go of the one person he wants by his side. There’s Wei Wuxian, determined and devastated in equal measure. And then there’s Xiao Zhan himself, in awe of Yibo’s skill.

It’s fucked up, feeling all of this at once, so Xiao Zhan squeezes his eyes and tries his best to at least contain it so it doesn’t affect Yibo. They’ve been slowly learning to block themselves and each other for moments just like this one, so Xiao Zhan is moderately sure his tries are successful. 

When the director films enough takes and camera angles Lan Wangji fades away, which makes quieting Wei Wuxian down easier. Xiao Zhan watches as Director Chen talks to Yibo, pats him on the back and then tells everyone to wrap up.

In a minute, Yibo is by his side. “How was I?”

Xiao Zhan stares. When he does a scene like that, he has to walk it off, maybe cry it off, and then psych himself to let it go. He doesn’t always succeed. Yet here Yibo is, fully himself, after experiencing emotions so strong they went through Xiao Zhan like a torrent. He’s—

“Brilliant,” Xiao Zhan pats Yibo’s chest, right over his heart. “I felt it.”

Yibo beams at him. “Really?”

Xiao Zhan nods and beams back. “So good, Yibo.” 

On the way back to the hotel he asks if Yibo ever feels his Wei Wuxian this strongly.

“That’s how I first started suspecting things,” Yibo admits in a low voice to keep the conversation private. “It wasn’t as strong as it is now. I guess the bond itself was weaker and we weren’t paying attention, so it was never super obvious. Now it’s different, and sometimes I use it to understand the scene better.”

Huh. That’s actually a pretty smart take on this. Still. “Sorry for loading it off on you though. I get stuck sometimes and—”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Yibo’s fingers encircle his wrist and slightly shake it. “It’s how you connect with your character, I like experiencing it. Besides,” he grins, “it makes me uniquely capable of judging what an amazing actor Xiao-laoshi is.”

Xiao Zhan laughs, suddenly relieved to have this after today’s emotional rollercoaster. “Not as amazing as Wang-laoshi! He can nail the most dramatic scene and then snap out if it pretty much instantly. Now that’s a real skill.”

They rainbow fart at each other all the way back, and by the time the bus arrives at the hotel Xiao Zhan is settled into his skin again. 

The filming is intense, and the soulmate bond definitely complicates things. They have to figure out how it all works, all the while not letting each other’s feelings, or the feelings of their characters, overwhelm them and affect their job. Never in his life Xiao Zhan thought that such a thing as heartbeat would come together with so many feelings. Maybe he and Yibo are the sort of people who feel very strongly. Maybe them spending so much time together has made them so attuned to each other. Whatever it is, it’s definitely not simple.

But they are figuring it out, learning to straighten out any kinks along the way, learning to enjoy this thing. What he finds himself liking the most is that he never feels alone in any of this. They’re doing this together, and it’s just. It’s nice.

Which, Xiao Zhan supposes, is kind of the whole point.

***

“Lao Wang - Lao Wang - Lao Wang - Lao Waaang.”

“What?”

Xiao Zhan giggles and stumbles. Thank god there’s a wall to catch him.

A second later it’s Yibo’s hands righting him, which is even better than the wall. 

“Ugh, I knew you were a lightweight, but wow, Zhan-ge.”

“So what? When and where can I get drunk if not at a party in Yu Bin’s room after a gruelling day of filming? And I have a day off tomorrow, you know.”

“I’m not sure if I know, you’ve only said it about eight hundred times tonight,” Yibo rolls his eyes and starts walking again, carefully guiding Xiao Zhan by the elbow.

It’s ridiculous, because, first, Xiao Zhan isn’t even that drunk, and second, there’s no chance of him falling over. Yibo’s got insane reflexes, like he really is the lion his fans like to call him, and he would react faster than Xiao Zhan could land anyway.

They finally reach the door to Xiao Zhan’s room.

Yibo asks, “Where’s your keycard?”

“Where’s your keycard?” Xiao Zhan wiggles his eyebrows.

“Oh my god.”

Yibo seems to lose patience and reaches for the front pocket of Xiao Zhan’s jeans. Xiao Zhan slaps his hand away and delights in a tiny frown the appears on his forehead.

“Shouldn’t you, like, buy me dinner first? Wait, no, you already have! So many times,” Xiao Zhan laughs and rests his head against the wall, tilting his hips forward for easier access. “I guess you can proceed then.”

“I deserve a medal for this, I swear,” Yibo huffs and then does proceed in his search for the keycard.

Xiao Zhan means to pay attention, but gets distracted by the ties of Yibo’s hoodie. They sway and catch his eye, so he reaches out, tugs them this way and that, and finally twists them into a neat little bow.

“Here, Lao Wang, now you look like a pretty present,” he pats the Yibo’s chest a few times. Then it occurs to him. “But it means we have to gift you to someone. No. You know what, as your soulmate I’m responsible for you, I can’t just give you away.” He unties the bow and nods, mentally congratulating himself on solving this problem.

“You’re gonna be so embarrassed tomorrow.” Yibo finally produces the keycard from Xiao Zhan’s back pocket and opens the door, making him enter first.

“You wish,” Xiao Zhan grins and goes to brush his teeth right away in case he forgets later. Yibo putters around somewhere in the room but comes to stand in the doorway after a minute. Around the toothbrush in his mouth, Xiao Zhan manages, “What?”

“Nothing, just making sure you don’t drown yourself in the sink, drunkard.” The smirk on Yibo’s face is so annoying that Xiao Zhan simply must splash him with water. Yibo screeches and mostly manages to avoid it. “I’m gonna let that one go because I’m a gentleman and so much more sober than you.”

Xiao Zhan rinses his mouth, biding his time to let Yibo fall into a false sense of security. Then he splashes him again, since Yibo’s magnanimous words were basically a challenge.

Yibo doesn’t lose all of his goodwill and only hits Xiao Zhan in retaliation a few dozen times or so. Truly a gentleman.

After that, Xiao Zhan sulkily goes back to his skin care routine, albeit a shortened version of it since the room is kinda spinning before his eyes. At least he made sure to swap his contacts for glasses before going to Yu Bin’s, otherwise it would’ve been a train wreck tonight.

He pats the last of the moisturiser in and turns to Yibo, who’s s still standing there with a smug victorious expression.

“I wish I had my Suibian right now so it could pee on you.”

Yibo snorts, “No offence, but I think you might have a really gross kink, Zhan-ge. Not that I’m judging or anything, but—”

“Gross, shut up.” Xiao Zhan puts a hand over the brat’s mouth, “Should we talk about your choking kink instead?” He realises his mistake immediately, seeing Yibo’s raised eyebrows and feeling his lips twist into another smirk. “No, I said shut up!”

He takes his hand away and pokes Yibo’s cheeks instead. They are right there, what is he supposed to do, ignore them? God, he really hopes the cheeks will stay even when Yibo grows older.

“How can someone so sweet-looking be so dirty?”

At that, Yibo hits his hands to get away from the poking. “I’m not sweet, I’m cool! Have you not been paying attention?”

“Of course I have, Wang Tian Tian,” Xiao Zhan bursts into giggles, finding this so much funnier than it probably is. But Yibo is funny, and so is his disgruntled face and slightly messed up hair. He probably didn’t bother to finish blowdrying it earlier.

It’s still incredibly soft, Xiao Zhan finds out when he reaches out to put it into some semblance of order. It’s brown today, Yibo’s default colour. Xiao Zhan has never thought to dye his own hair, but he likes different colours on Yibo. He’s seen him with blue hair, and blond, and grey, and brown, obviously, and each one complements Yibo to a ridiculous degree. Then again, there’s probably very little he can’t pull off.

“You okay there, Zhan-ge?”

“Yeah, why?” Xiao Zhan lays a second hand on Yibo’s head and makes it tilt first to one side, then the other. There’s no resistance at all, which is unusual enough to make Xiao Zhan finally snap out of it.

He lowers his gaze and finds Yibo looking at him with amusement. 

“No reason,” Yibo says with a small smile. He looks incredibly kissable, especially from this distance. 

Xiao Zhan gives his hair one last pat and lets go.

Drunk or not, he won’t do anything that could jeopardise the filming.

“Wanna watch a movie?” he asks instead, not breaking eye contact.

“Won’t you fall asleep in, like, two seconds?” Yibo’s face is insultingly dubious.

“Give me at least some credit,” Xiao Zhan slaps his arm and exits the bathroom.

They settle on the bed with a laptop. Two minutes into the movie a bottle of water materialises in his hands out of nowhere and he drinks it without any qualms. He puts it on the bedside table afterwards and makes himself comfortable, ready for an hour and a half of mindless entertainment.

Yibo’s shoulder is kind of sharp though, so he scoots down a bit and props his head on Yibo’s arm instead.

“Stop fidgeting,” Yibo says.

“It’s not my fault you’re all angles,” he snaps back.

“No one’s forcing you to use me as a pillow!”

“Why are you bullying me right now?”

“I’m not bullying you.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not.”

“Bo-ge, hush, I’m trying to watch the movie.”

“Do you even know what we’re watching?”

“I’m sure I can find out if you just shut up for a second.”

“Who is bullying who,” Yibo murmurs, barely audible, but finally goes quiet after that.

Xiao Zhan knocks his forehead against Yibo’s arm, just so the brat doesn’t feel like he got the last word, but settles too. 

He tries to pay attention to the movie, but all the explosions and chases blur together. Closing his eyes does not help, only makes everything spin behind his eyelids with a vague threat of nausea. So he stays somewhere in between, half watching the screen, half drifting off in a drunken stupor. 

It goes on for a while, until something occurs to him.

They’ve been experimenting with the whole soulmate business quite a lot, and Xiao Zhan has come to understand that the most useful thing that can be done is simply paying attention. They’ve been doing just that and have gotten better at reading each other even in the space of just a few weeks.

But all those times included a change in heartbeat, usually its rapid quickening due to any number of emotions. There’s none of that now. Xiao Zhan’s heart is beating steadily, evenly, and he’s pretty sure Yibo’s is too.

Yet he feels something, and this something doesn’t belong solely to him.

It takes Xiao Zhan another minute to realise that the feeling is contentment.

Ugh.

Here he is, on a Wednesday night, drunk after a party with friends, watching a movie with Yibo and using him as a pillow while he sobers up. And they didn’t even have sex! (Not that not having sex with Yibo is increasingly becoming a problem or anything). This is entirely too domestic. 

Isn’t Yibo supposed to be an adrenalin junkie? He has no business felling this content right now.

Fucking disgusting, is what it is.

Xiao Zhan shimmies down even further and rests his head on Yibo’s side, becoming almost horizontal. Thankfully, Yibo doesn’t comment, just tilts the screen so Xiao Zhan can see it from this new position.

He hides his smile in Yibo’s hoodie.

Yeah, disgusting.

***

“So just remember this and you’ll do fine.”

Xiao Zhan dutifully nods to the last of Director Chen’s commentary on the scene they’re about to shoot. The man claps his back and adds, “Alright, it’s gonna take a while to set everything up, you should rest.”

“Will do, sir,” Xiao Zhan salutes jokingly and laughs when Director Chen only rolls his eyes, long used to his actors’ shenanigans.

Yibo, Ji Li and Zhuocheng are all on their phones when Xiao Zhan gets back to the clearing they’re gathered in. He plasters himself along Yibo’s back, making sure to leave no space between them, and shoves his face over Yibo’s shoulder to look at the screen.

“What’s this?”

“Ji Li is making us watch a cat video compilation,” Yibo says, seemingly not reacting to Xiao Zhan hanging onto him, except Xiao Zhan is paying attention so he doesn’t miss Yibo’s heart speeding up a little.

“As if you’re not a sucker for cute animals!” Ji Li protests from where he’s, evidently, watching the same video.

“Not as much as Zhan-ge.” Yibo titles his face towards Xiao Zhan and smirks.

Xiao Zhan raises his eyebrows and makes eyes at Yibo, “Oh yeah, I am definitely the biggest sucker here.”

Yibo’s smirk widens even as his gaze drops to Xiao Zhan’s mouth. “Proof?”

That’s when Xiao Zhan dances away and looks up through his eyelashes, keeping his smile as innocent as he can. “Wang-laoshi will just have to use his imagination.”

Yibo just shrugs, looking smug. “If Xiao-laoshi insists.”

“Oh yeah oh yeah,” Xiao Zhan sings, not breaking eye contact, and then switches to another song in English. “Now you’re in, you can’t get out. You make me so hot, make me want to drop, you’re so ridiculous I can barely stop, I can hardly breathe, you make me want to scream, na na na na na, you’re so good to me, baby.”

It’s obvious Yibo isn’t familiar with the song, which is fair since his Avril Lavigne repertoire is not as extensive as Xiao Zhan’s, but by the second repetition of you’re so good to me he’s diligently singing along.

Singing together is yet another thing they sort of fell into pretty much seamlessly.

Xiao Zhan loves music, knows he has a habit of bursting into song whenever the mood strikes. Yibo noticed it early into filming.

“Wow, Xiao-laoshi is like a princess in one of those Disney movies,” he said back then, when they were still learning each other’s boundaries and not trampling all over them like they do now.

“Why not a prince?”

“If Xiao-laoshi wishes to be a prince, who am I to stop him, of course,” he paused to escape the swap of Xiao Zhan’s hand. “But you prefer female singers, no?”

He wasn’t exactly right, but there was enough truth to it that it made Xiao Zhan pause and inwardly work through Yibo paying attention to his spontaneous bursts into songs.

“Aiya, Wang-laoshi is so knowledgeable about my tastes, I feel like I’m lagging behind. Give me your phone.”

With exactly zero protest on Yibo’s side Xiao Zhan went through his music and was actually surprised at what he found there. Aside from obvious hip-hop songs — he had to scroll past a lot of G-Dragon — there were many golden classics and soft, lyrical, sometimes downright bitter love songs. 

“So much Jay Chou, who would’ve thought!”

“I’ve got range, Zhan-ge.”

All in all, it was an unexpected mishmash of genres, eras and languages that delighted Xiao Zhan to no end.

Soon Yibo started singing along with him more often than not, and they could be found humming or outright belting out tunes all over set. Xiao Zhan especially liked it when Yibo helped him learn Korean hits.

Yibo liked gloating even more though. “You’ve got a thing, admit it!”

“So what if I do? Huh, Blackpink fanboy?”

“I grew up in Korea, what’s your excuse?”

Xiao Zhan doesn’t know what came over him that day, but it was then that he admitted his past infatuation with EXO. It didn’t turn out too bad. Yibo huffed and puffed until Xiao Zhan was forced to proclaim him a better dancer than Oh Sehun, but promised to introduce him to Zhang Yixing since they apparently were friends.

“He’s actually a great guy, you’ll like him.”

“Not as much as I’d like Sehun,” Xiao Zhan answered then, eager to ruffle Yibo’s feathers some more.

Sometimes when Yibo is unfamiliar with the lyrics of whatever song Xiao Zhan is singing, he gets his phone and looks them up to accompany him immediately, and Xiao Zhan likes this little thing he does even more than the Korean thing.

Their voices mix really well too, he has to admit, even though for some reason Yibo is convinced his voice is more suited for rapping than lyrical singing. True, his rapping is impressive, but it doesn’t mean he isn’t amazing at other stuff, so Xiao Zhan has made it his mission to prove it to him.

There was a full moon during one of the night shoots, when they were both beyond tired, unable to keep each other awake even with play fighting and pinching. Xiao Zhan started singing in a last desperate attempt to hold on until the crew finished setting up the scene.

“Nǐ wèn wǒ ài nǐ yǒu duō shēn, wǒ ài nǐ yǒu jǐ fēn,” he paused there, giving Yibo ample time to decide if he wanted to sing along.

He wasn’t disappointed.

Yibo slumped his left shoulder into Xiao Zhan’s right and joined in, “Wǒ de qíng yě zhēn, wǒ de ài yě zhēn. Yuèliàng dàibiǎo wǒ de xīn.”

He sounded nice, quiet and melodious, and Xiao Zhan gave him a thumbs up. Yibo’s heart thumped in pleasure, just like Xiao Zhan intended. They continued the song then and even managed to hold on until it was time to film.

Now, however, Xiao Zhan doesn’t want to sing about the moon and genuine feelings, he’s in the mood to tease, and push, and pull, see how far he can take it today.

He circles through the chorus of Avril Lavigne’s song twice and then looks at Yibo from the corner of his eye, making sure it’s properly sly and teasing. Speaking of Avril Lavigne. His lips twitch and then he belts out, “He was a skater boy, she said see you later, boy!”

Yibo snorts and matches his expression perfectly. “Are you into ballet, Zhan-ge?”

Of course he knows this song and even remembers the plot, Xiao Zhan thinks with amusement and says, “Not at all, actually. I like the second half of the song much more.”

Before either them can say anything else, Ji Li chimes in from where he’s still standing with Zhuocheng a few steps away, “I know what you should sing!” He takes a breath and then chants with barely a tune behind his words, “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, just fuck me already!”

Yibo barks out a laugh and Xiao Zhan steps closer to Ji Li, making a thoughtful face. “What an interesting song. A little on a desperate side, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Ji Li grins, completely unrepentant.

“Are you very familiar with the feeling?”

That’s when Zhuocheng decides he’s had enough and buries his face in his hands. “I am extremely familiar with the feeling right now. Can you please not?” He resurfaces and looks at Xiao Zhan pleadingly, “What did Director Chen say to you about our next scene?”

Xiao Zhan shares amused looks with Yibo and Ji Li at this obvious, desperate change of topic, but takes pity on Zhuocheng. When he’s in this kind of mood he tends to forget about collateral damage. “Nothing much. I filmed a post-time-skip scene in the morning, so he just reminded me where I’m mentally at for this scene.”

The conversation continues in same vein, but Xiao Zhan doesn’t feel too bad about stopping the shenanigans, since Yibo props an elbow on his shoulder and basically rests half his weight on him, maintaining the ‘little to no personal space’ policy Xiao Zhan established earlier.

Soon the behind the scenes camera laoshi comes around. Well. If Yibo wants to get filmed being all clingy, yet again, it’s his right. It’s not like Xiao Zhan’s forced him to, okay?

He schools his face into an innocent expression and tries to contain his smile.

***

It’s pretty much empty outside at six in the morning, which makes getting up so early an almost pleasant experience.

Definitely worth it, Xiao Zhan thinks, glancing at Yibo’s sleepy face, still slightly swollen after a night of too little sleep. His pace is steady though, as is his heartbeat.

Their usual morning runs are another thing that’s become slightly different, now that the bond is stronger thanks to prolonged contact and them actually working on it. Xiao Zhan kind of regrets not realising sooner so he could tease Yibo even more for getting tired pretty fast during their early runs. Ridiculous stamina or not, Yibo was not used to running the way Xiao Zhan was, so it took him a few weeks to stop lagging behind after the first fifteen minutes or so. Even now Xiao Zhan is more aware of Yibo’s heartbeat during their runs, the way people are of their own when they exercise. 

They make another turn and trot along in peaceful silence, long enough that Xiao Zhan has to wipe sweat off his forehead.

“Already sweating, Lao Xiao?” Yibo leers, not so sleepy anymore.

“Perspiration is normal for us humans, ice princess,” Xiao Zhan answers with a light shove.

“Ice princess? Is that the worst you can do?”

They devolve into a scuffle, which ends with them both out of breath, partially because they’ve been running for half an hour already, but mostly because they spare no effort when it comes to annoying each other.

“Okay, okay,” Xiao Zhan backs down a little. “Cool down?” The hotel isn’t far now, so it’s time anyway.

Yibo nods and lets go of his wrists, slowing down to a walk.

“Zhan-ge?”

Xiao Zhan turns just in time to see Yibo’s eyes shift from his sweaty neck to his face. “What?”

“I’m just checking. We’re waiting for the filming to end so we don’t screw anything up, right?”

Startled, Xiao Zhan stops walking. Yibo follows suit, eyes never leaving Xiao Zhan’s, gaze direct and calm, even if his heartbeat noticeably speeds up.

For a second Xiao Zhan considers playing dumb, but Yibo, with his uncanny ability to detect Xiao Zhan’s bullshit from a mile away, puts an end to it immediately. “Don’t even think about it, or I swear I’ll kiss you right now and you’ll be so overcome with my sexiness you’ll forget all about being a responsible adult.”

It punches a laugh out of Xiao Zhan, and instead of freaking out about them actually talking about it for the first time he ends up grinning at Yibo. “Overcome by your sexiness? So conceited, Wang Yibo.”

“It’s true though, you wouldn’t stand a chance,” Yibo smiles too, even as his eyebrows draw together in a silent question.

Xiao Zhan reaches out to poke them as he thinks. As much as he’d like to stop being a responsible adult and start getting overwhelmed with Yibo’s sexiness right this minute, he can’t really do that. But it’s a surprising relief to actually get this out in the open and acknowledge it. With Yibo being brave enough to breach the subject, Xiao Zhan owes him an honest answer.

“That’s what I think we’re doing, yeah,” he says as openly as he can. “Plus this whole soulmate thing is kind of a lot. Seems logical to figure it out first before doing anything else.”

“Mn.” Yibo studies him, and for a second it seems like he wants to throw responsible and logical out of the window. Then the corners of his mouth lift up. “Okay, cool.”

With that, he puts his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants and starts walking again.

For a few moments, all Xiao Zhan does is stare. That’s just. So Yibo. To ask in a straightforward way, get an answer and then get on with it until the time comes to do something about it.

Well, whenever that may be, Xiao Zhan is sure he’s going to enjoy both the time before and after that, if Yibo keeps insisting on being this particular brand of delightful.

Shaking his head at how casually they handled this conversation, Xiao Zhan jogs to catch up to Yibo, ready to get on with it as well.

***

“Drinks are here!”

Finally. Xiao Zhan abandons his trusty little fan and hurries to where Keke is distributing Starbucks drinks he asked her to get everyone.

He takes his own fancy tea and searches for iced coffee. He’s been very specific in his instructions, so it should be here.

Ah, there it is. 

Distractedly nodding in response to everyone’s thanks, he makes his way to the coffee’s recipient.

“Hey, Lele!”

“Zhanzhan,” the man greets.

Xiao Zhan offers him the coffee, “Thank you for giving me that energy drink yesterday, I would’ve died without it.”

For a second, Lele looks flustered. For someone who cuts such an intimidating figure, he is surprisingly cute at times. “Ah, you shouldn’t have,” he says, accepting the cup, “but thank you.”

Xiao Zhan beams, but before he can say anything, Yibo hollers at him from the other corner of the set where he’s been going over the script with Haikuan, “Zhan-ge, stop trying to steal Lele, he’s not gonna leave me for you!”

A very reasonable thing to say for someone who spilled the beans on what drinks Lele prefers.

With as obnoxious an expression as he can manage, Xiao Zhan looks back at the brat and yells just as loudly, “It’s happening, Lao Wang, just accept it!”

“Accept this!” Yibo waves his middle finger.

Scandalous. Just Xiao Zhan’s luck the behind the scenes camera guy isn’t around the one time he’s actually needed.

“Lele, don’t listen to him,” Yibo continues, still half a set away, “don’t leave me, I promise I won’t make you film me skateboarding at the airport anymore!”

Lele just waves him away, but Xiao Zhan turns back to gape at the man.

“He really does that?”

“Sometimes, when the wait gets too long.”

Really, the things Yibo makes his bodyguard do. “Please accept my apologies on his behalf,” Xiao Zhan bows formally.

“It’s fine,” Lele shakes his head with a small smile, “I don’t mind.”

“He’s corrupted you,” Xiao Zhan laments and takes a sip of his iced tea.

In fact, Lele is insanely fond of his charge, going above and beyond his duty to take care of him.

Xiao Zhan has noticed this happening quite a lot around Yibo.

They chat for a while, first about Lele’s girlfriend, then the cooking spiel Xiao Zhan went on during his last longish stay in Beijing.

Just then, Yibo sidles up to them. “Whatcha talking about?”

“Not you,” Xiao Zhan snorts derisively.

Yibo just grins, unperturbed, and grabs Xiao Zhan’s cup. Raising his eyebrows in challenge, he takes a sip through the straw.

“Do you have no shame?” Xiao Zhan tries to take it back, but the wily brat manages to step back in time. “I ordered you an iced tea too, go drink it!”

“Already finished it,” Yibo grins, batting his hands away.

Xiao Zhan manages to hold him in place. “Gesekgi!” He checks Yibo’s face, and Yibo nods, evidently not finding fault in the pronunciation. Satisfied, Xiao Zhan returns to the task at hand, taking back his tea. He takes a huge gulp just out of spite and then says, “You’re such a maknae. I need to have a talk with Zhou Yixuan about spoiling you too much.”

“Oh please, like Xuan-ge could’ve ever resisted any of us,” Yibo rolls his eyes. “And anyway, we’re soulmates, isn’t what’s yours also mine, drinks included?”

Ready for a retort, Xiao Zhan opens his mouth, but then freezes. Out of the corner of his eye, he peeks at Lele.

The man clocks his panicked glance and raises an eyebrow. “Was that supposed to be a secret? ”

“What?”

“I do have eyes, you know,” Lele shrugs like it’s not a big deal and goes back to his coffee, long used to their shenanigans.

Except, it’s not their usual shenanigans. Yibo just dropped the soulmate bomb in public for the first time.

They’ve agreed not to tell anyone in their management companies while they’re still figuring it out themselves. There’s no need to anyway, with most of their time spent here. 

Anyone on set is another matter. For how obvious they’ve been with experimenting, they’ve been silent when it came to actually telling anyone outright.

“Uh, sorry, Zhan-ge,” Yibo says with a vaguely guilty expression, “it’s just Lele, I didn’t think…”

Xiao Zhan shakes his head, “Nah, it’s fine, not like we decided to keep it a secret here. It’s just,” he grimaces, “I wonder who else has figured it out.”

Lele snorts.

“Ge?” Yibo gets right into his face and makes cow eyes at him.

Does he really think it will work?

Xiao Zhan takes Lele’s other side and mirrors Yibo’s expression.

Lele just crosses his arms, which makes his muscles bulge. “I don’t know anything,” he says, obviously meaning I am no snitch.

“Fine!” Yibo makes a show of sulking at Lele, but Xiao Zhan is already calculating their next step.

The next step is, obviously, Xuan Lu. Xiao Zhan makes sure sit next next to her on the ride home that same evening.

He’s tired enough to borrow Yibo’s approach and just ask, “Soulmates, huh?”

She does a double take and then laughs, a touch incredulously. “It’s true then?”

“So you didn’t know?”

“Xianxian, no one aside from you two can know, but, well, I had my suspicions. I’ve been around soulmates before, plus you and Yibo aren’t exactly subtle.”

Xiao Zhan pouts to the best of his Wei Wuxian abilities. “It’s all his fault.”

“Sure,” Xuan Lu pats his cheek.

He peers up at her. “Does anyone else ‘have suspicions’?”

“Pretty much everyone in the main cast and crew. But I only hear it in the context of them complaining about you two when you are being especially annoying.” She throws her hands up in defence at his glare, “Their words, not mine!”

“We’re a delight to be around,” he says with as much dignity as he can muster and lays his head on Lulu’s shoulder. 

“So how is it?” she asks after a beat.

Xiao Zhan takes a moment to gather his thoughts since it’s the first time he’s talking about this to anyone other than Yibo.

“I don’t know. Weird? Of course I felt him before, but now it’s not some unknown person, it’s this dumbass,” he points at the front of the bus where Yibo is having a shouting match with Ji Li, somehow still energetic after a full day of work. “It’s not just the heartbeat anymore either. I feel the emotions behind it pretty often too.”

“I guess it makes sense,” Xuan Lu nods, bumping her chin against his head, “you’ve been spending a lot of time together, must be easier to cement the bond this way.”

Xiao Zhan wrinkles his nose at her wording but continues, still keeping an eye on Yibo. “I guess. It’s kinda fun too.” It really is. Yibo’s been serious about this, but also teasing, and curious, and lighthearted enough to not make it too complicated. “I could’ve done worse.”

Xuan Lu laughs quietly. “I think you’re very lucky actually. He’s a good one.”

“Just don’t tell him that, it’s gonna go to his head.”

Yibo chooses this exact moment to turn to them. He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head in question. Whether he felt something or just has unbelievable timing, Xiao Zhan doesn’t know. Honestly, either or both are completely possible when it comes to Yibo.

Xiao Zhan makes a shooing motion with his hand, at which Yibo makes a face but obediently goes back to whatever he was doing with Ji Li.

Leaning back into his seat, Xiao Zhan twists his neck a few times, stiff after a long day. It gives him time to decide whether he wants to continue this conversation. After a beat, he does ask, “Have you thought about meeting your soulmate?”

Xuan Lu laughs a little, but not unkindly. “Of course, who hasn’t?”

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

“Okay, okay,” she pats his hand and takes a moment to think it over. “I know a lot of people want to meet their soulmate as soon as possible. Heaven knows my mom grows more wary each time I come home without one, never mind that soulmate connection isn’t necessarily romantic.”

Xiao Zhan purses his lips, silently commiserating about moms and their anxiety about having single children.

“But for me… I’m glad I haven’t met mine yet. I don’t think I was ready or settled enough before. I like where I am now, like myself enough that maybe I wouldn’t mind meeting them sometime soon. But I had to get to this point, grow into myself, you know?”

“Makes sense,” he nods, already internalising her words. “For what it’s worth, I think you’ll get the best soulmate anyone’s ever had. My shijie deserves nothing less!”

“Flatterer,” she sighs, but the corners of her mouth obviously twitch up.

“It’s not flattery if it’s true.”

As expected, Lulu’s take on this is mature and well thought out. He gets where she’s coming from, pretty much agrees with her, except. Has he grown into himself? Is he settled enough?

A few moments of soul-searching offer an answer that surprises him. Xiao Zhan the graphic designer definitely wasn’t. Neither was Xiao Zhan the X-Fire participant. The Xiao Zhan of now, no matter how uncertain his career still is, does feel ready to give a huge part of himself to another person and keep safe what that person entrusts him with in exchange.

“He’s so young though,” Xiao Zhan whines to distract himself from how fast the answer has come to him. Also because Yibo very much is, younger even than Xiao Zhan the designer.

Xuan Lu, who’s been watching him with amusement, readily agrees, “He is,” then adds, “and he isn’t,” nicely summing Yibo up.

Xiao Zhan knows this, but it’s comforting to hear from someone else, to actually talk about meeting his soulmate with someone other than Yibo. It’s not that he couldn’t, before, with any number of his friends, but he didn’t want to quite yet.

Lulu, however, has been here from the start, seen everything with her own eyes — much more than Xiao Zhan gave her credit for, apparently — and so feels safe and right to talk to about this stuff.

Just because being cheeky comes to him as easy as breathing these days, he half-pouts, “You don’t have to be so wise all the time.”

“What are you talking about? Shijie knows best.”

He huffs out a laugh. Shijie does know best, on screen and off, which is something both Xiao Zhan and his inner Wei Wuxian wholeheartedly agree on.

***

There’s a flash of light on the left. Probably his phone.

Xiao Zhan turns to stare at it blankly.

It lights up again, but he can’t be bothered to get up and get it.

Another minute, and the vibration stops. Xiao Zhan looks down at his hands, swallowing. His throat feels weird, like maybe he needs to cry again.

He’s not sure whose tears it would be this time: Wei Wuxian’s or his own, spilled for a man who had nothing else to give to this world before his death.

Maybe it doesn’t matter. The line between the two of them is basically non-existent today.

It’s been blurring this whole summer, but these days he is lost in A-Xian more than ever. The scenes they’ve been filming have been stripping him - Wei Wuxian, Xiao Zhan - of everything he’s ever loved and fought for, everything he believed in.

And then. The Nightless City.

Wen Qing, burned. Sorry and thank you.

Wen Ning. Lost and enslaved.

The rest of the Wens. Selfless and hanged for it.

And shijie. Shijie…

Xiao Zhan clenches his fists against the ache that is almost physical.

Inhale, exhale.

He isn’t sure how long it’s been, but it must’ve be long enough. The make up and consume removal, the ride back to the hotel with Xian Lu by his side, the long shower, the however long he’s been sitting alone in the room. Surely, surely it must’ve been enough to stop feeling… this.

But then, haven’t his dreams been haunted by black smoke the last few nights? Hasn’t he been reaching out for bloody lotuses in his sleep? Hasn’t he been turning toward the sound of plucked strings just to find nothing?

If character bleed is a thing, then Xiao Zhan is all bloody, drowning in it now, at the tail end of almost four months.

How did he do it?

He didn’t though. Wei Wuxian watched greedy men fight for any scrapes of the power they condemned him for, everything good and fair dead, justice made a joke of, the world gone mad. He watched it all — and fell.

Even the beautiful hand, unmarred in truth but smeared with blood in reality - because of you, because of you - couldn’t stop him.

But that’s not right. Xiao Zhan knows what comes next. He knows he - Xiao Zhan, Wei Wuxian - will wake up and get a glimpse of white robes. He’ll play the melody of his heart on a leaf and then on a hastily made dizi. He’ll look into the morning sun and know that the world isn’t mad but beautiful and worth living in. He’ll stand on another cliff and turn around, and everything will make sense.

Xiao Zhan has already filmed most of this. He knows this.

But it hurts and hurts and hurts. It feels like falling is all he knows how to do.

There’s a sound and it takes Xiao Zhan a few seconds to recognise it as a knock.

The short walk from the bed he’s sitting on to the door seems impossible.

It stops. He hopes whoever is on the other side will take the hint.

A silent moment, and then the knocking starts again.

There’s only one person dumb enough to do it after this particular night of filming.

“Zhan-ge, I’m coming in.”

The lock clicks, the previously shared keycard being put to good use. Yibo strides in, closes the door, walks further into the room. Xiao Zhan doesn’t move.

“Are you okay?” Yibo asks, stopping a few steps before the bed. He pauses for a moment to take Xiao Zhan in. Then, with an obviously concerned look, “I can’t feel you at all.”

It doesn’t make any sense. Xiao Zhan is swimming in A-Xian’s pain, barely able to feel anything else. Yibo should be able to feel the way his heart is squeezing, the way his whole chest is filled with sorrow. 

Then it dawns on him and he looks at Yibo, bitterly amused. “I guess Wei Wuxian isn’t your soulmate.”

Yibo frowns, obviously not getting it. Another second, and the puzzled wrinkle on his forehead smoothes out. “No. Come on, this isn’t right. It’s too far.”

Xiao Zhan laughs outright. “It’s all here,” he takes his head into his hands, barely coherent, “I can’t … I can’t… it’s all in here. So much of it. I can’t shut it out today.”

Xiao Zhan can’t leave him. A-Xian isn’t just words on a page, he’s as real as Yibo or Xiao Zhan himself. He’s going through unimaginable pain, and Xiao Zhan can’t - doesn’t want to - leave him.

Yibo kneels, makes sure to catch Xiao Zhan’s eyes before speaking. He looks imploring, holding Xiao Zhan’s gaze firmly. “Wei Wuxian is alone. Wei Wuxian dies. Wei Wuxian wakes up. Lan Wangji finds him.” Yibo lays a tentative hand on Xiao Zhan’s knee. “But you are Xiao Zhan. You know all this. It’s important to you, I know how much it is, but it’s not you. I can’t feel anything you feel for and with Wei Ying right now, and I don’t want to.” Yibo inches his hand up until it covers Xiao Zhan’s heart. “I just want to feel you. Zhan-ge. Come on.”

Xiao Zhan stares, trying to find some sort of foothold in Yibo’s eyes.

It’s no use. He shakes his head, his heartbeat loud in his own ears even if it belongs to Wei Wuxian more than it does to him right now.

It doesn’t lessen Yibo’s resolve. “No,” he says again and spurs into action until they are both under the covers. 

Xiao Zhan grips the hand loosely wrapped around his and holds on with all of his might.

It makes something in him twist, and shift, and then tears come, the kind that shake his whole body and make him gasp for air. He cries for a boy full of hope and determination to uphold justice. He cries for a young man that takes hit after hit but refuses to give up on what he believes in. He cries for a dazzling, resilient man who takes the darkness in and lets it destroy him.

He cries until it all comes out and leaves only Yibo’s face in front of him. He looks and looks, and it gets better.

The fucked-up thing is, he isn’t sure if it’s because he’s looking into his soulmate’s face or because it’s the face of Wei Wuxian’s zhiji.

Not wanting to think anymore, Xiao Zhan shifts closer, and then some more until his forehead is tightly pressed into Yibo’s shoulder.

Yibo reacts immediately, wraps an arm around Xiao Zhan’s shoulder and then waist, squeezes them together. It’s tight and close, and somehow just right. Xiao Zhan feels more tethered than he has all day.

He places a hand on Yibo’s chest, the heart inside it a tangible presence against Xiao Zhan’s palm.

It’s closer than they’ve ever been physically, but it’s not the point.

The point is this:

Xiao Zhan breathes. Feels Yibo’s heartbeat and his own. Tries to find himself.

It takes a while.

***

Yibo should seem small, dwarfed as he is by endless green mountains meeting the vast blue sky. It’s a gorgeous scenery, showing just how big the world is, full of beauty and freedom. Perfect for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s parting and subsequent reunion.

The windmills will have to be edited out of course, but right now they are an incredible addition to an already stunning wonder of nature surrounding them on all sides.

But it doesn’t swallow Yibo up. The black clothes, still his own, and the umbrella make him stand out, a prominent dot in the sea of green.

He seems to be done filming the scenery on his phone and just stands there, taking it all in.

Xiao Zhan comes up to him and gets under the umbrella as well. He doesn’t say anything and for a few minutes they look at the mountains together in silence.

Under the surface, it’s anything but silent. They’ve both been a barely contained mess this morning, a constant loop of emotion between the two of them.

Time is almost up.

The last four months seem like a dream. The outside world has felt less real than the one they’ve been creating with this tight-knit crew. It’s been exhausting, difficult, taxing on mind and body, but wonderful beyond any imagination. 

Finding Yibo in the midst of all this has been a revelation. A partner, a soulmate, an insistent presence by Xiao Zhan’s side come hell or high water. Soon they’ll have to find out if they can keep what they’ve built, if it can survive out in the real world.

Waking up from this dream will be jarring if not outright painful. He’s not at all sure he’s ready for it.

Of course, there’s a whole other issue Xiao Zhan has to grapple with. He’s gotten… lost in Wei Wuxian. Having his dreams, living with his pain and drive to stay good and true no matter the circumstances, seeing the world through his eyes, brilliant and bursting with sunshine even amidst all the dirt that clings to him — it’s a lot.

Xiao Zhan is a changed man for having met Wei Wuxian.

It can be said just about any character he’s played and hopefully is yet to play, but this time feels different. More. Separating himself from A-Xian seems almost impossible.

This summer has to come to an end eventually, but Xiao Zhan finds himself desperately wishing for just a little more time.

He feels Yibo shift next to him and finally turns to look at him. The moment their eyes meet, Yibo’s heart stutters. His face is an open book, eyes even more so, and Xiao Zhan has to smile bitterly.

“Cheer up, Lao Wang,” he says, bumping their shoulders together.

“Elders first, Lao Xiao.”

Yibo’s response follows the script of their usual banter, but it lacks the heat, his heart obviously not in it.

Xiao Zhan makes an appropriate grimace but doesn’t try to continue otherwise. Yibo’s eyes bore into his face, then trail down and down, until he sways away a little to reach out and take the end of the red ribbon into his hand.

“Will be weird not seeing it anymore.”

Now it’s Xiao Zhan’s heart that stutters painfully. “I know.” He touches Lan Wangji’s pretty ribbon on Yibo’s forehead.

Yibo slaps his hand away. “Only family and significant others are allowed to touch it.”

It makes Xiao Zhan burst into laughter. Yibo says it as if Xiao Zhan doesn’t know, as if he hasn’t spent this summer loving the person who grew up religiously following Gusu Lan sect rules.

He deliberately makes eye contact and slowly reaches out again to touch the metal cloud adornment. 

“I know,” he says again.

Yibo’s eyes turn soft and he doesn’t dodge this time.

Xiao Zhan basks in the feeling for a few seconds and then tugs at the ribbon, making it all crooked.

“Hey!” Yibo thrusts the umbrella at him to use both hands to fix the ribbon.

It’s hilarious how anal he is about this every single time.

Xiao Zhan dutifully holds the umbrella and watches with amusement as Yibo checks his forehead with his phone camera.

Seemingly satisfied, Yibo glares at him. “You’re a dick, Zhan-ge.”

“You say it like it’s a new information,” Xiao Zhan snorts and slides up to him again, making sure both of them are covered by the umbrella.

“They don’t need us yet?” Yibo asks and leans his shoulder into Xiao Zhan’s.

“Still setting up, we have a few minutes.”

But in a few minutes they will have to go out there and become their characters for what will be one of the last times. Xiao Zhan will have to stand on that cliff, hear Lan Wangji’s call, turn around and make sure A-Xian finally comes home.

There are a few scenes to film after that, but this one is especially important. Xiao Zhan will be leaving him there — finally getting what he deserves — but still leaving him. Their paths, converged this summer to the point of Xiao Zhan losing himself at times, will have to be split. 

Yibo is looking at him carefully and it suddenly strikes Xiao Zhan that no one else will ever know the feeling of this moment’s precipice — green mountains, white windmills, half in, half out of character — other than the two of them.

He’s overwhelmed by a rush of gratitude for Yibo as a filming partner. He was there when Xiao Zhan was only finding his footing in this role, there through failed takes and effortlessly good ones, there when Xiao Zhan had trouble letting A-Xian go at the end of a long day, there for the highest and lowest points of the story. Steady, enthusiastic, ever striving to become better and give more, he encouraged Xiao Zhan to do the same with his mere presence. He’s been the Lan Wangji Wei Wuxian deserves, and Xiao Zhan is grateful both for himself and A-Xian.

He doesn’t bother trying to hide this from Yibo. They’ll have to reign in their bleeding emotions soon enough in order to film the scene, but for now he keeps the connection wide open. With just the two of them here, he also gives Yibo a smile, real and wide and just a little bit watery. The answering thump of Yibo’s heart is expected but no less welcome for it.

Then Yibo nudges him and wraps his hand half around Xiao Zhan’s where it’s still holding the umbrella, a hidden caress.

“It’s tilted,” Yibo says, shifting the umbrella slightly, “you’re blocking the view.”

“Sorry, Wang-laoshi.” Xiao Zhan keeps his hand under Yibo’s. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Mn. Pretty memorable.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them says anything else. There’s really no need to at this point. 

For the next few minutes they keep standing there, just on the verge of waking up from a long dream brought on by summer wind.

They keep holding the umbrella together.

***

Xiao Zhan rings the doorbell and waits. 

Excitement makes his heart go kinda crazy, though he’s not sure if it’s his, or Yibo’s, or both. They haven’t seen each other in weeks, and haven’t talked at all while Xiao Zhan was in Japan, just like he asked.

He’s been back for a while now, but it’s taken them a few tries to synch their schedules. Enough for him to get antsy and almost fidget now that he’s standing in front of Yibo’s apartment.

The door finally opens to Yibo’s grinning face.

“Zhan-ge!”

The familiar greeting puts him at ease in an instant, like it’s a conditioned reaction. “Hey, Lao Wang.”

“You’re late, come in.”

Xiao Zhan steps inside, hands Yibo his backpack to put away and starts toeing off his shoes, “Yeah, sorry, the rehearsal ran late, so.” He puts on the slippers Yibo slides his way and straightens up.

A few weeks is not that long a time in the grand scheme of things. But they had been attached at the hip for four months, so going from that to zero felt like a small eternity. Especially with what Xiao Zhan set out to accomplish going abroad.

Yibo looks the same. Still too skinny, in his basketball shorts and a large skater t-shirt.

“No hat?” Xiao Zhan asks, fighting a stupid smile.

Yibo meets his eyes easily, completely unashamed. “Oh, you saw that?”

It’d be hard to miss, with Yibo striding everywhere in a baseball cap that said ‘I miss you’ while Xiao Zhan was in Japan. It was still trending when he got back.

“Yeah, real subtle of you.”

“You know me, I’m extremely lowkey.”

At his entirely straight face Xiao Zhan finally loses the fight and cracks up. “Oh my god, come here.”

He’s wrapped in a hug barely a second later, as if Yibo’s been waiting for these words. Hit with a familiar scent of Bleu de Chanel, Xiao Zhan hugs back tightly and sags against Yibo with an unexpected relief.

“Zhan-ge,” Yibo murmurs against his shoulder, “I think you might’ve missed me too.”

A soundless laugh escapes Xiao Zhan.

Fuck. He has. He really, really has. More than he thought he would.

He’s not even gonna touch whatever is happening inside his chest right now. Maybe Yibo will take care of that for him.

Xiao Zhan squeezes him one last time and draws back. “Slander!”

“Sure. Am I also wrong about getting us wontons?”

“… you ordered wontons?” Xiao Zhan perks up and glances over Yibo’s shoulder in the direction of the kitchen.

“Figured you would have eaten enough sushi lately,” Yibo shrugs and leads the way further into the apartment.

They eat, and Xiao Zhan is relieved to find that nothing has changed between them. It’s still easy as breathing to talk and jump from topic to topic, to banter and joke around, just exist in the same space.

The food is long gone, everything cleaned up and they themselves transferred to the couch, when Yibo finally asks what they’ve been talking around this whole time.

“So did going to Japan help?”

His gaze is direct, curious, but most of all knowing.

It’s only fair. Yibo does know, more than anyone, how messed up Xiao Zhan had gotten by the end of summer. How he needed to get away and clear his head, separate himself from Wei Wuxian.

How he needed to do this away from any reminders of the dream world they’ve all been living in on set, away from the people that made it so good.

When Xiao Zhan shared these plans with Yibo and explained his need to disappear for a few days, Yibo just nodded and said, “I’ll be here when you get back.”

And then he didn’t send a single message during the trip, showing the level of maturity and understanding that surprised even Xiao Zhan. Even occasional bursts of emotion that came along with Yibo’s heartbeat were snuffed out almost immediately every time.

“It did.” Xiao Zhan rests his head on the back of the couch, taking time to gather his thoughts.

A-Xian has burrowed so deep inside him that he’ll always be a part of Xiao Zhan. That’s just a fact, and Xiao Zhan has made his peace with it. Now that he’s more clearheaded, he can accept it and even cherish it. It doesn’t have to hold him back.

“It did,” he repeats. “I’m ready to move forward. At least, as much as I’ll ever be.”

It’s not much of an explanation, but Xiao Zhan isn’t sure he can or wants to put it into more words. He’s certain Yibo will get it in any case.

Yibo searches his eyes. “Good.”

It’s silent for a long beat, both of them mulling it over, then Xiao Zhan asks, “Is it weird being on another set so quickly?”

“A little. I mean, I know nothing's ever gonna be the way it was with A’Ling, but it’s still good.” Yibo launches into retelling of the latest shenanigans from Gank Your Heart set, gushes about motorcycles he gets to ride for filming and finishes with a smug, “And we had a dance-off the other day!”

“Wow, Wang-laoshi is finally among his peers!”

“But none of them are as youthful or talented as Xiao-laoshi is!”

“Xiao-laoshi has nothing to do with this, but Wang-laoshi definitely blew those youngsters away with his dancing skills—”

“But Xiao-laoshi would’ve charmed them—”

“WANG-LAOSHI DID CHARM THEM, I’M SURE,” Xiao Zhan yells over whatever Yibo is saying, and it’s all downhill from there.

A good old slap fight later, Xiao Zhan settles back into his place and tries to quell his giggling fit.

This is what he likes about their relationship. They can go from serious and sincere to silly and absurd in the space of a second. It used to confuse everyone around them on set, but Xiao Zhan enjoyed it too much to mind making everyone else a third wheel.

Speaking of serious.

“Yibo?”

“Mn?”

“Since we’re back to the real world, do you think it’s time we told our management about the soulmate thing?”

Yibo grimaces, “Yeah, I think so. Is it safe to tell your management though?”

That’s… a good question. Yibo’s been very vocal in his opinions about Wajijiwa, all of which boil down to a simple fuck them. Xiao Zhan is gearing up to take action in that respect, but for now it’s still his management company, and meeting a soulmate, one that you plan to be in contact with, is absolutely something an idol’s team should know about.

“It’s fine. No way around it anyway.”

“Ugh, they’re gonna be so difficult about it, Yuehua too, I just know it.” Yibo’s voice turns whiny. “Maybe we should go overseas and get married, that way they can’t throw as much bullshit at us.”

Xiao Zhan snorts derisively. “First of all, it wouldn’t be legal here anyway. Second, we haven’t even fucked yet. At least blow me first before marriage, it’s only polite, don’t you think?”

In one fluid motion, Yibo slides off the couch, drops to his knees and lays his hands on Xiao Zhan’s knees.

“Blow you? Is that it, gege?” Yibo asks, smirking.

An incredulous laugh escapes Xiao Zhan. The most absurd thing here is that the brat would do it right now, he’s sure. After months of dancing around each other, Yibo really would do it without hesitation if only Xiao Zhan would let him.

Well, there’s nothing to it now.

Still laughing, Xiao Zhan leans forward, cups Yibo’s face and drags him into a kiss.

It takes a few seconds to stop smiling against Yibo’s mouth, and by then Yibo gets with the program, presses against his lips, once, twice, gets a hand on Xiao Zhan’s neck, tilts his head and swipes his tongue across Xiao Zhan’s lower lip.

Xiao Zhan initially intended for the kiss to be short, a simple statement, but now he opens up, licks into Yibo’s mouth, sucks on his tongue, and it becomes anything but short and simple.

He is definitely not laughing anymore when they come up for air.

“Zhan-ge,” Yibo looks at him, serious now too. His heart is beating crazy fast, and not only because of shortened breath. Xiao Zhan’s own is doing the same thing. “The filming is over.”

“Yeah.”

“So we’re not jeopardising anything other than, you know, our careers.”

Xiao Zhan thought they were going to have to have a big conversation about this, but Yibo still seems to be on the same page as him. What a fucking relief. “Yeah.”

“So we can actually do this, right?”

“Yeah.”

“A whole-ass relationship?”

“Yes, Yibo-ge, a ‘whole-ass relationship’,” Xiao Zhan rolls his eyes at Yibo being stuck in this incredulous loop.

“Cool,” Yibo nods, looks him up and down, nods again, and then surges forward.

There’s no trial period this time, it’s hot and wet from the get-go. Yibo makes a desperate sound that sends a spark of heat to the pit of his stomach, and it only gets worse when Yibo slides his tongue against Xiao Zhan’s at the same time as he palms Xiao Zhan’s thighs just above the knees.

Xiao Zhan splays them wider and hauls Yibo even closer. He breaks the kiss and pants against Yibo’s mouth. It’s all red and wet, so he swipes his thumb over it, pressing just a bit. 

Yibo’s eyes are wide and wild when he says in a hoarse voice, “I’ve been jerking off to the thought of this for months.”

“How romantic,” Xiao Zhan huffs and bites down on his jaw, then tracks back to his mouth, alternating between biting and kissing.

Yibo responds enthusiastically, his hands moving up and down, and then up and up and up, and Xiao Zhan’s dick becomes extremely interested. Yibo isn't the only one who’s been jerking off to this after all. When Yibo finally reaches his crotch, Xiao Zhan moans and throws his head back.

Momentarily freed from the kissing, Yibo doesn’t lose any time and quickly unbuttons Xiao Zhan’s pants.

“I was mostly kidding about you blowing me, you know,” Xiao Zhan says breathlessly, but lifts his hips to make it easier for Yibo to tug his pants and underwear lower and then take it all off completely.

“I wasn’t,” Yibo grins up as he works on Xiao Zhan’s socks as well.

Xiao Zhan means to tease him about it, but the sight of him between his naked legs kinda throws a wrench into these plans.

When Yibo grips his hips without the barrier of clothing, his big hands feel absurdly good, their sure grip on the right side of possessive. He lays a trail of kisses up Xiao Zhan’s inner thigh, nosing the tender skin there until all Xiao Zhan wants to do is hold Yibo in place and get inside his mouth. Showing incredible restraint, if he says so himself, he just palms the back of Yibo’s head and nudges him in the right direction.

Getting the hint, Yibo takes him in one hand, the other still splayed on his hip, and finally mouths at the head of his hard cock. He flattens his tongue and sinks further, and it makes Xiao Zhan moan involuntary.

Yibo, the asshole that he is, draws back instead of continuing, licks his lips and looks up. “I’m gonna wreck you, Zhan-ge.”

Xiao Zhan laughs breathlessly. “Pretty sure I’m gonna wreck you first.”

Before Yibo can argue, Xiao Zhan tightens his hold on his hair and this time really does guide Yibo’s mouth to where he wants it.

Evidently having decided that words are redundant at this point, Yibo goes back eagerly and soon starts bobbing his head in earnest.

And honestly, who needs words when Xiao Zhan’s got Yibo’s plush lips around his cock.

Yibo’s really good at this, which, fucking figures. What isn’t he good at?

He’s eager, too, saliva wetting his chin as he pops off to mouth at Xiao Zhan’s balls. He trails back and starts sucking again like his one purpose in life is to melt Xiao Zhan’s brain. He twists his tongue in just the right way, and Xiao Zhan’s hips push forward automatically, seeking more, more, more.

“Fuck,” he mutters, turned on enough to grip Yibo’s head with both hands and thrust up, just the slightest bit.

Yibo takes it, then pulls off with a wet sound, licks up Xiao Zhan’s length, down, then goes back to suck hard at the head.

He makes a deliberate eye contact and says, “Come on.”

With all his remaining blood rushing south, Xiao Zhan somehow manages to ask, “You don’t have any recordings tomorrow, right?”

Yibo shakes his head, “No. Come on.” Without further ado, he takes Xiao Zhan into his mouth again and hollows his cheeks.

No braincells left to protest, Xiao Zhan thrusts forward, and then again, and again, and then they’re off. The room fills with wet sounds and Xiao Zhan’s occasional gasps. He gets lost in it, in the heat of Yibo’s mouth, the rhythmic motion, in how goddamn good it is.

“Yibo, so good,” he babbles, helpless, “you’re so good.”

At this, Yibo takes one hand off Xiao Zhan’s hips and palms himself through the shorts, eyes closing in obvious bliss.

Of course.

And isn’t it ridiculous that this is the first time they are touching each other, but Xiao Zhan knows half his kinks already?

He slides Yibo off his dick and tugs him up. “Come here, come here,” he moans.

Yibo goes with it, strides one of his thighs and gets a hand on his dick, starts pumping. It’s smooth, with Yibo’s spit and his own precome easing the way even without lube.

Xiao Zhan finds his mouth, licks inside and tangles his tongue with Yibo’s, and it’s wet and perfect, and he wants to come so badly, he’s so fucking close already. Hips desperately thrusting up, he grabs Yibo’s hair and pushes his head back, getting a good look at his face. He’s flushed and his mouth is obscenely red.

Xiao Zhan brings his other hand up and touches it. He doesn’t mean to push in, but Yibo sucks two of his fingers in anyway, hollows his cheeks in an imitation of what he was doing earlier, his eyes never leaving Xiao Zhan’s, and that’s all it takes to tip Xiao Zhan over the edge. 

Breathless, he pushes into Yibo’s hand, toes curling as he throws his head back and rides it out.

It takes a minute for him to get his wits back. When he opens his eyes, Yibo’s face is right there, still flushed, eyes wide and pupils blown. But once he’s sure Xiao Zhan looking at him, he grins smugly.

“Told you.”

“What,” Xiao Zhan croaks, orgasm-stupid.

“Told you I’d wreck you.”

Brat. Xiao Zhan gears up for a retort, but.

Yibo’s breathing is still fast, he is still very much hard against Xiao Zhan’s thigh, hips twitching involuntary, and his hands are clenched tightly over the come-splayed t-shirt Xiao Zhan is, stupidly, still wearing.

Xiao Zhan takes it all in and switches tactics.

He leans in slowly, ghosts his lips over the long column of Yibo’s neck and then mutters into his ear, “Yeah you did. You were so good, Bo-ge.”

With Yibo seated in his lap, Xiao Zhan can’t miss a full-body shiver that runs through him.

Jackpot. Of course Yibo’s thing for praise includes sex too.

Feeling smug, Xiao Zhan grins against his cheek. “Took such good care of me.”

Yibo makes a sound and his hips thrust forward, hard.

“Made me come and even waited afterwards,” Xiao Zhan continues as Yibo begins rutting against his thigh in earnest, “so good to me, Yibo, so so good.”

To Xiao Zhan’s delight, the only thing he gets in response is a ruined Zhan-ge.

Sliding his tongue over Yibo’s lips, he pushes inside and drinks up every sound Yibo makes before it even leaves his mouth.

Xiao Zhan puts his hands on Yibo’s shoulders, trails down his back, gets them under his t-shirt, feeling the smooth skin and toned muscles, then pushes lower, under the waistband of his shorts.

Still coherent enough, Yibo sits up to let him get them as far down as their position allows. Xiao Zhan palms his ass proprietarily and pushes him even closer so Yibo can rub against his abdomen instead.

“Good boy,” he says, partly to be a dick, partly because he’s enjoying it almost as much as Yibo. If it was physically possible, he would already be getting hard again from the sight alone.

“Zhan-ge, Zhan-ge—” Yibo doesn’t finish, buries his face in Xiao Zhan’s neck instead.

“What do you want?” Xiao Zhan asks, keeping his voice low.

“Touch me, come o—”

Before he can say more, Xiao Zhan moves his hand and parts Yibo’s cheeks, lightly trailing a finger over his hole.

Yibo makes a choked off sound, his hips stuttering. “I didn’t exactly mean that,” he laughs lightly against Xiao Zhan’s neck.

Except that when Xiao Zhan makes to move his hand away, Yibo grabs it with his own and puts it back. Keeping it in place, he shifts and rubs against Xiao Zhan’s fingers, the tight muscle there contracting.

Xiao Zhan doesn’t do anything more than that, not without lube. He continues rubbing lightly, and finally puts his other hand on Yibo’s cock.

Yibo straightens up again for easier access. He looks debauched like this: head thrown back, hips going back and forth between Xiao Zhan’s hands, cock flushed and hard, torso twisting to accommodate his movements.

With his own edge taken off, Xiao Zhan takes the opportunity to really look, and a wondrous sort of realisation hits him: this is Yibo. Yibo, who’s been teasing him all summer, shamelessly tonguing his lips while staring in challenge, leaving lingering touches laden with intent, and always, always looking with those hot eyes of his. It was all Xiao Zhan could do sometimes not to press him up against the nearest surface until they were both sweaty and panting. And now Yibo is writhing in his lap, both sweaty and panting just like he wanted, desperate for Xiao Zhan’s touch, chasing his release and looking like a wet dream.

Genuinely mesmerised, Xiao Zhan mutters, “Look at you. Fucking gorgeous, Bo-ge, you’re so good, the best.” Yibo’s gaze snaps to him, catches and holds. Xiao Zhan smiles, wide and honest, and, timing it with the tightening of his hand, delivers what he knows is a finishing blow, “Come for me, soulmate.”

As if truly compelled, Yibo does come, spilling all over Xiao Zhan’s hand and making an even bigger mess of both their shirts before he slumps forward.

Xiao Zhan laughs in delight and rubs his back, both to sooth him and stealthily wipe his hand on Yibo’s shirt.

Yibo doesn’t bask in the orgasmic glow for long, and barely a minute later he already delivers a hit on Xiao Zhan’s arm.

“Hey!”

“You did this on purpose!”

“Of course not,” Xiao Zhan denies, though it’s probably useless with the grin he’s sporting. “Who knew you were such a sap for the soulmate thing?”

“I’m a sap?” Yibo asks incredulously, finally sitting back. He pokes Xiao Zhan’s chest, right over the heart. “Have you checked your heartbeat lately?”

Oh. Huh. He hasn’t actually. A bit busy for that. Well, he’s fine with whatever he might’ve unintentionally given away.

“Nope! But we’re even now, by the way.”

Yibo laughs incredulously and drags him into a kiss. It’s a soft one, but no less good than the ones from before.

“I personally think we’re crushing this ‘whole-ass relationship’ so far,” Xiao Zhan says once they part.

“For sure,” Yibo nods and… offers him a hand?

But in a weird way. It takes Xiao Zhan a moment to understand it’s positioned for a bro handshake, the one they often used to do on set.

Sputtering, he slaps the hand away, “Are you human?!”

Cackling, Yibo climbs off Xiao Zhan’s lap and stands. Then, without a hint of shame, he takes off his ruined clothes and wrinkles his nose. “Wanna shower?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Yibo offers him a hand again, this time to help him up. But before Xiao Zhan can move, he adds, face serious again, “Zhan-ge, about what you said earlier. You better be ready, ‘cause I do intend to be the best you’ve ever had.”

Xiao Zhan can’t do anything but beam at him, “I would expect nothing less.”

He takes Yibo’s outstretched hand.

***

“Getting out of breath there, Xiao-laoshi?” Yibo teases, his voice loud through the earphones.

Xiao Zhan snorts. “As if.”

Fifteen minutes on a treadmill is nothing, especially on the medium setting he’s chosen to be able to freely talk to Yibo at the same time. The sacrifices he makes for that brat, honestly.

“And here I thought I was taking your breath away.”

“Dream on, cool guy. Never happened, never will.”

“Oh really? Not even that time I made you come three times in one night?”

“Nope.”

At least Yibo went for the time when any supposed taking of breath happened for sexy reasons and not, say, because Xiao Zhan was watching him dancing, or the morning sun fell on him just right when he was making tea in Xiao Zhan’s kitchen, or he whooped in triumph after successfully finishing a long-coveted lego set, or—. You know what? Never happened, never will.

“Then Xiao-laoshi is an even better actor then I thought.”

“That’s right, I’m faking it every single time.”

Yibo makes an offended noise. Then, “You do know what you just signed up for, right?”

“Oh no, whatever are you gonna do to me next time you see me,” Xiao Zhan deadpans, knowing full well Yibo isn’t able to go into filthy details, trapped as he is in a car on the way to his morning schedule. A mention or two is fine, but anything more would just be in poor taste.

“Just you fucking wait, Zhan-ge.”

“Whatever you say, Bo-ge.”

Having sufficiently riled Yibo up, Xiao Zhan switches the treadmill to a low setting. Loathe as he is to admit it, Yibo was right about Xiao Zhan getting tired. It may not have actually shown up in any shortness of breath, but the heartbeat must’ve given it away, with how attentively Yibo usually listens.

Of course Yibo clocks the change of pace almost immediately too.

“Why Zhan-ge, I think I might’ve been right after all,” he says with a gremlin smile Xiao Zhan can hear through the phone.

“I don’t think soulmate bonds were meant to be used this way.”

“Who cares what it was meant for when I can use it to prove I’m right? Say I was right.”

“No.”

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Say it.”

“I’m gonna hang up on you, Wang Yibo.”

“Good luck with that. I’ll text you so much it will make your phone unusable.”

“I can just block you, you know.”

“But then I’d have to pester your assistant, and wouldn’t that be embarrassing for you?”

If Yibo was here, they’d already be hitting each other, Xiao Zhan is certain. His hands are almost itching with the urge to make this argument more physical. He’s not sure what they are even arguing about anymore — Xiao Zhan getting tired on a treadmill? — which is stupid and completely on brand for them, and there’s no other way he’d rather spend his morning off.

They’ve gotten pretty good at finding little pockets of time to spend with each other. A phone call here, a video game to play together there, a barrage of voice messages in between to tie them over until they can properly see each other again.

It’s not easy but it’s working. Almost seven months after A’Ling’s wrap, and Xiao Zhan is still as stupidly taken by Yibo’s whole being as he was that day by the windmills.

Xiao Zhan has become accustomed to the sound of Yibo’s voice in his ears during long breaks on set, in the car, at the airport, in a hotel room late at night or early in the morning and even on a treadmill like now. It’s as familiar as Yibo’s heartbeat in Xiao Zhan’s chest by now.

Even Yibo’s apartment is more than a place for occasional stopovers: Xiao Zhan’s got designated space in Yibo’s huge closet, his own mug in the kitchen and a toothbrush beside Yibo’s in the bathroom. They have a similar setup in Xiao Zhan’s apartment and, to a lesser degree, in the one Yibo has in Changsha.

They’ve been learning to share each other’s lives, and it’s… stupidly good. In fact, Xiao Zhan is well on his way to admitting — to himself, never out loud — that Yibo was right: it is kind of, sort of, possibly the best Xiao Zhan has ever had.

He can’t wait to actually work with Yibo again when A’Ling promotion starts in a few months.

Speaking of A’Ling. 

After a few more minutes of squabbling Xiao Zhan guides their conversation into a more serious territory. 

“What did the directors say about you leaving Italy early?”

“It’s fine, Han-ge talked to them, it won’t be a problem.”

Xiao Zhan smiles. The man never fails to amaze him. 

When he and Yibo couldn’t synch their schedules to record Wuji together and Yibo suggested cutting short his trip to Italy with Tian Tian Xiang Shang, Xiao Zhan was apprehensive. Apparently, there was no need to be, not with Wang Han on Yibo’s side.

“Good. I think Lin Hai-laoshi was getting ready to kidnap us both and lock us in his studio.”

All jokes aside, they are lucky to have Lin Hai. He is as in love with this project as any of them, and it shows in the music he’s created. The character songs are exquisite in their details, but the pinnacle of Lin Hai’s creative genius is the wangxian song, even if it will be known under a different name. He is right in insisting that Xiao Zhan and Yibo should record it together, it deserves nothing less.

“I wouldn’t mind getting locked up with you,” Yibo says in a voice as suggestive as humanly possible, but there’s something behind it that makes Xiao Zhan turn the treadmill off and step down.

Grabbing the towel to wipe his sweaty face, he asks casually, “Nervous?”

“Who wouldn’t be nervous singing along the illustrious Xiao Zhan?” Yibo still tries to evade, but there’s no use, Xiao Zhan can hear it now with more than just ears. When he stays pointedly silent, Yibo relents and sighs. “Not nervous exactly. Just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

Xiao Zhan lowers the towel and puts all his sincerity into his voice. “Impossible. I would know, Lao Wang.” He gives Yibo a moment to really hear it and then adds, “I promise to give you a subtle hint if you suck. Like, I don’t know, I’ll kick you in the balls, okay?”

It makes Yibo bark out a laugh. “So violent, Zhan-ge!”

“Still want to be locked up with me?”

“Yeah, I love not knowing what exactly is going to happen to my balls around you.”

Xiao Zhan snorts. “Of course.” He glances at the clock. Thankfully, there’s still time before he has to hit the shower. “Hey.”

“What?”

“We still have a week before the recording. I should get off work relatively early tomorrow, we could rehearse if you have time.”

“Uh, give me a sec.” Yibo goes silent for a minute, probably looking up his schedule. Then, “Okay, I should be free. Thank you for your generosity, Xiao-laoshi!”

“Wow, Wang Yibo, so busy, so popular that he doesn’t remember his own schedule,” Xiao Zhan can’t help but gush exaggeratedly.

“Stop bullying me, this Italy trip has thrown everything into chaos.”

“Aw, poor you.”

“Yeah,” Yibo steamrolls right past Xiao Zhan’s sarcasm, “but it’s fine, I already have everything planned out.”

“Really?” Xiao Zhan asks, unable to hold back an amused smile. He has an inkling of where this is going. He sits down on the floor, leans against the cool wall and prepares to listen.

“Mn. The very first evening there I’ll be walking down the street when suddenly Rossi will drive by—”

Xiao Zhan can’t help but interrupt, “As he usually does.”

“—and he’ll see me and stop—”

“That’s reasonable.”

“—and he’ll be like, hey, you’re Wang Yibo, my biggest fan—”

“So probable.”

“—I’m going to the race track, want to come with me?”

Before Xiao Zhan can say anything to that — and really, there are so many choices — there’s a voice on Yibo’s end of the line, and then Yibo sighs. “We’re here, I’ve got to go, Zhan-ge.”

“That’s a shame, I wanted to hear all about your date with Rossi.”

“Shut up, it’s not a date. Fuck, okay, I really need to go.”

“Alright. Work hard, Lao Wang, otherwise Rossi won’t stop for you on the street!”

“No need to be so jealous. Bye, have a good day!”

The bastard hangs up, and Xiao Zhan has to settle for sending him a sticker of a goose shaking its fist in anger.

Having a good day isn’t going to be too hard, with a morning like this.

***

“No, it’s not that you don’t have a choice, you just don’t want to choose me!” Yibo almost shouts. There’s a pause, followed by a sigh loud even through the phone, and then, “Fuck this. I guess I’ll see you whenever.”

The line goes dead, and for a long minute Xiao Zhan continues to drown in Yibo’s anger, the fantom hurt that squeezes his chest overwhelming even this far from Changsha. And then it’s gone, Xiao Zhan left alone with his own frustration. 

It should be a relief, but the absence of that hurt means Yibo’s forcefully and totally cut himself away from Xiao Zhan, blocking the bond in the most brutally efficient of ways. It makes him more uncomfortable than he’d be willing to admit. 

They’ve spent more of these months apart than together, and the bond has been great for handling it, making them connected and never truly isolated or lonely. Never, not once, has Yibo blocked him so completely even when they had to tone it down for work.

The total silence now is all the more jarring for it.

Good, a small, vindictive part of Xiao Zhan chimes in. He’s as frustrated as Yibo, after all.

The whole fight is stupid though. They are both professionals, they are both going through the same thing right now. A’Ling is getting bigger every day, bigger than any of them thought it would be. Xiao Zhan is getting more and more offers, more work, and it’s a good, fantastic thing. Now is the time to grab this opportunity and make the most of it. He’s got a chance to make a name for himself, but it requires hard work, it requires being polite and professional. He can’t afford to make a single mistake, and being capricious with a huge sponsor is definitely a mistake.

Surely, surely Yibo must understand that Xiao Zhan can’t just blow Olay off with a flimsy excuse and come film Tian Tian Xiang Shang with him. He must understand the importance of endorsements, having grown up in this industry. Right?

Wrong.

Xiao Zhan grits his teeth and sets the phone down with more force than is strictly necessary. Fucking Yibo, throwing accusations around as if Xiao Zhan is free to do whatever he wants. As if he can choose Yibo every time.

He seethes for a few minutes, this thought echoing in his mind again and again. In the end, that’s exactly what makes him deflate. Because it isn’t true, is it? Yibo doesn’t ask to be chosen every time. He just did this time, for Tian Tian Xiang Shang.

Xiao Zhan thinks about a quiet evening in Hengdian last summer, Yibo saying, they are still my family as much as Uniq is. Going to Changsha is like going home.

It’s a special episode, celebrating the show’s eleventh anniversary, and Xiao Zhan is supposed to be Yibo’s personal guest. Because he wants Xiao Zhan there to share this part of his life that’s been his anchor for years. Probably wants to properly introduce him to the people who are his family in all but blood.

The realisation that maybe you are the one in the wrong is always unpleasant.

He looks at his phone, listens to the pointed silence in his chest where Yibo usually sits.

Xiao Zhan’s always known his ambition is a thing with claws: he didn’t give up a stable job for a shot in the dark just to fail miserably. He’s willing to fight in order to succeed, whatever that might entail. He was and is ready to work tirelessly, make sacrifices and hard choices.

But there are some lines he won’t cross: there’s his family, his own integrity and the original intention he won’t turn away from no matter what. Now there’s also Yibo.

They are together not because of the soulmate bond, but because they chose each other. Xiao Zhan had given himself plenty of time to think it through before going all in after his Japan trip. True, their circumstances are changing with A’Ling’s success, but it shouldn’t stop him from choosing Yibo when it really matters.

Mind made up, Xiao Zhan picks up the phone and steels himself for a difficult conversation with his manager.

Everything after that is a blur of apologies and non-stop work, two days of filming crammed into one. When he steps into Hunan TV building, he’s severely sleep-deprived and exhausted by the damned silence, only the faintest traces of Yibo’s heartbeat present if he listens hard enough.

Lele is the one to greet him.

“How is it?” Xiao Zhan asks as they head towards the elevators.

“A few interviewers on the verge of tears, a dozen warnings from manager-jie, you know the drill.”

“That bad, huh.”

Lele’s gaze is careful, sizing Xiao Zhan up. It must really be bad for him to react this way, protective of Yibo even in this.

Finally, he shrugs and says, “You came, so not too bad.”

Xiao Zhan nods and smiles gratefully, inwardly marvelling at Yibo winning over his bodyguard so completely as to make him care about this stupid relationship drama.

Lele takes him to a small empty room. “I’ll go get him. Good luck.”

Xiao Zhan is relieved to see his mouth curving up slightly as he turns to leave. It wouldn’t do to get on Lele’s bad side.

There’s an armchair in the corner, and Xiao Zhan takes a seat as he waits. It’s good that they have time to talk this through before filming begins. When he texted Yibo about coming here after all, all he got in response was a single okay. Clearing the air seems kind of necessary before a very public shoot.

Soon Yibo walks in, already dressed up and made up, hair artificially tossed in a playful kind of way. In contrast, the expression on his face is anything but playful. He closes the door and steps further into the room, still leaving plenty of space between them.

“Hey, Lao Wang. Looking good,” is what Xiao Zhan opens with. Judging by Yibo’s face closing off completely, it’s not the right thing to say.

Alright, so he’s still pissed, and they aren’t going to take the easy way out.

“You shouldn’t have come,” Yibo says, looking Xiao Zhan right in the eye.

“Excuse me?” There’s an icy quality to his voice, although he doesn’t mean to sound this way. But seriously, he moved his entire schedule, had to personally apologise to the director of the Olay MV, came here ready to admit his mistake, all for Yibo to handle it like this, with childish petulance, instead of trying to work this out?

“You wanted to do your Olay shoot and only came because, what, I got angry?” Yibo is frowning now, not quite as expressionless as before. “It’s not a good reason to be here. What’s the point if you regret missing out on work while doing this?”

So it isn’t childish petulance.

Xiao Zhan rubs his face, thankfully still free of make up, trying to get a hold of his temper. When he lowers his hands, Yibo is still there, still frowning. It won’t do at all.

“Come here.” Xiao Zhan pats the arm of the chair he’s sitting in. When Yibo doesn’t move, he calls again, with more force, “Yibo.”

This time, he takes a few steps and perches carefully on the armchair, half-turned towards Xiao Zhan. It puts him on a much higher level, which is just as well. Yibo likes being taller that him, and Xiao Zhan is not above using tricks to his advantage.

But when he speaks, it’s as sincere as it gets, “I’m not here because you got angry. I’m here because it’s important to you.” He pauses, letting the words sink in. Yibo looks sceptical, but he meets Xiao Zhan’s eyes easily and doesn’t move away when Xiao Zhan palms his knee and squeezes lightly. “I know things aren’t easy with how busy we both are. And from the looks of it, it’s only going to get busier. But I need you to understand that I won’t be able to choose you every time, and that it has nothing to do with how I feel—”

“I’m not asking you to!” Yibo interrupts, frustration rolling off him in waves.

“I know, this time is different. I didn’t get it at first, and that’s on me. I’m sorry.” He watches as Yibo thaws off, face softening little by little, and chooses his next words very carefully. “I can’t promise I’ll be there every time, I think you know better than most that it’s impossible. What I can promise you is that I’ll try. That I’ll get better at listening. And that I definitely won’t regret choosing you over work whenever possible.”

Yibo blinks, then looks down at Xiao Zhan’s hand where it’s still resting on his knee. He seems to be mulling over what has been said, which is fine, they should still have some time left. Xiao Zhan gives him space, doesn’t try to do anything, only keeps that single point of physical connection.

All the while, he keeps himself wide open, heartbeat steady, everything it carries ready for Yibo to see if he wants to.

“Okay,” Yibo finally says.

Just like that, the floodgates open and the utter silence that's been gnawing at Xiao Zhan is replaced with Yibo’s typical intensity. The tangle of his emotions is lot to handle, so much so that Xiao Zhan has to close his eyes for a second, but he greedily takes all of it. 

He didn’t know just how much he’s gotten used to having an easy access to Yibo at all times, be it an occasional explosion of emotion or even just the strong rhythm of his heart. Being deprived of it felt wrong this past day, empty and lonely, entirely too quiet. True, he had lived most of his life with only an occasional nudge from his unknown soulmate here and there. But now that he knows what it’s like to have a fully developed bond, and a strong one at that, turns out he doesn’t want to go even a day without it.

Since there’s no need to keep distance anymore, Xiao Zhan gives in to the urge to touch Yibo in earnest. He gets up, steps in between Yibo’s legs and cups his neck with both hands, titling his head up.

Yibo reacts immediately, circles Xiao Zhan’s hips with his arms and draws him even closer. He rests his chin on the belt wrapped around Xiao Zhan’s waste.

“Zhan-ge,” he says, vulnerability in his eyes a perfect match for an unbearably soft feeling echoing through the bond, “I know our work has to be a priority, I do know that. I don’t want you to sacrifice anything, you deserve every opportunity that comes your way. I just think… Shouldn’t this,” he squeezes his arms around Xiao Zhan, “be as important?”

“It is. Guess we’ll just have to figure out how to balance it.”

“Mn.”

“Yibo?”

“What?”

“If you ever block me like that again,” Xiao Zhan says, digging his nails into the vulnerable skin of Yibo’s neck, “be prepared to have only your right hand for entertainment for the rest of your life.”

“… I also have my left hand.” At Xiao Zhan’s raised eyebrow Yibo only continues, a tiny spark of delight in his chest seeping into his voice as well. “You didn’t like that, huh?”

Xiao Zhan gentles his hold and swipes his thumbs over the half-moon indents he left there. “No. I didn’t.”

“Alright, then I won’t.”

Yibo buries his face in Xiao Zhan belly, his neck leaning even more into Xiao Zhan’s caress. Xiao Zhan scratches it lightly, pushes his fingers further up into Yibo’s soft hair. It’s quiet and soothing, making the last of the tension seep out of them both.

“Quit messing up my hair,” Yibo mutters after a while, making no move to escape Xiao Zhan’s hands.

“Pfft, what can your stylists do to me, when the fearsome Wang-laoshi who makes dozens of interviewers cry is on my side?”

“…Did Lele at least wait until you got here or did he text you to tattle on me right away?” 

 “I think he was mostly trying to tell me how much trouble I was in.”

“Yeah, right. He’d call you laoban given half a chance.”

“Guess you should’t have let me buy him all that coffee last summer.”

Xiao Zhan gets pinched for that one, but it’s fine, it brings a sense of normalcy after a rocky start today. They don’t have serious fights often, most of their disagreements are usually solved with a bit of coaxing, so getting back to their usual footing is a relief. 

“Zhan-ge,” Yibo says quietly after a pause, “thank you for coming.”

It makes Xiao Zhan draw back and look at him properly. He smiles wide at what he sees and goes in for a kiss, Yibo straining upward to meet him. It’s a quick thing, but Xiao Zhan lingers after, enjoying the simple intimacy of breathing the same air.

It’s a testament to how shaken Yibo must’ve been by this whole thing that he doesn’t joke — or not-joke — about a make up quickie.

Kind of a shame, Xiao Zhan might’ve taken him up on it if they weren’t pressed for time.

As it is, he doesn’t make any offers of his own, just takes Yibo’s hand to tug him up.

“So,” he says, “am I in trouble with your brothers?”

“Nah, you’re fine. But we should head out, Han-ge will have my head if I don’t bring you to the hosts’ lounge.”

“Uh-oh, it’s charm the geges time.”

It makes Yibo snort derisively. “As if Xiao-laoshi has any trouble charming anyone.” He stops at the door and squeezes Xiao Zhan’s hand. “Hey, actually, uh, Da-laoshi’s been talking about going out for KTV tonight after filming.”

He looks uncertain at this not-quite-a-question. There’s no need to be, Xiao Zhan’s schedule happens to have been freed for today.

Xiao Zhan squeezes his hand back. “Cool,” he says in English. “I know just the song I want to sing.”

***

The atmosphere on the set of Our Song is one Xiao Zhan has dearly, dearly missed. A group of people who appreciate music, know it, feel it in their souls, comes together to share knowledge, experience and ideas.

The first episode is filled with nervousness that comes with a new project, especially when there are industry seniors whose songs he’s been listening to his whole life. Xiao Zhan is kind of thankful Stephanie Sun isn't there, otherwise he would’ve just passed out from excitement.

But there’s Na Ying and Zhou Huajian, there's Tanya Chua and Christopher Wong, and it’s difficult to imagine any of these legends picking him to partner up for the competition.

Except it turns out to not be difficult at all. All the seniors like him and want him, and he tries not to freak out about it on camera.

He ends up paired up with Na-jie, and he firmly believes this is the best possible outcome. They are well-matched in character and have fun together while working hard. Her presence and advice, her appreciation and care mean more than he can put into words. Xiao Zhan knows, because he calls Yibo after recording the first episode, and the conversation is mostly incoherent rumbling on Xiao Zhan’s side.

Na-jie is so great that she even lets him pick both songs for their second episode. It’s kind of a given that the first one should be one of hers, the junior giving tribute to the master. He’d still choose Love You But Lonely even if it wasn’t. He really does love Na-jie’s music, and to sing this song with her is something he never even dared to dream about.

The second song, though.

Xiao Zhan chose to perform Satisfied as his introductory song in the first episode because it means a lot to him. It’s the first of his own songs. More than that, it was a gift from his fans, during a time when he wasn’t that well-known, so winning the contest felt big and emotional, and he was and still is so very grateful to the people who’ve chosen to like him. Singing Satisfied as his comeback to the music industry was a no-brainer.

That being said, Xiao Zhan wouldn’t be Xiao Zhan if he didn’t pick a Stephanie Sun’s song when Na-jie gave him an opportunity.

If asked, and the host kind of does, Xiao Zhan would admit to being her fan, although there is not enough time in the whole show, not to mention just an episode, for him to articulate just how much Stephanie Sun’s music pierces his soul, makes him feel all the lyrics and the slightest changes in melodies, and inspires him every day.

What he doesn’t say, wouldn’t even if directly asked, is why, out of any and every song, it ends up being Lǜ Guāng.

He and Yibo can’t exactly proclaim their relationship for the whole world to see, even if it sometimes feels like the world would like nothing more. It grates on him, at times, this need to hide the part of him that is so integral to who he is, where he is, what he does. Other times, he doesn’t mind too much. A lot of him is exposed to the public now, more than he’s comfortable with, so anything he can keep for his own feels like a win, too. 

But he knows Yibo has a hard time with this, seeing how honest and straightforward he is, not able to look away even when their managers wail in despair.

It’s difficult to keep the balance between personal and public, giving too much and too little.

But music knows no such constrains, and it’s a loophole Xiao Zhan is more than willing to exploit.

He knows fans will run amok once they see him perform Lǜ Guāng. Knows they will draw the right conclusions from it, with the green imaginary and whatnot. But it’s not the point. The point is him and Yibo, the point is doing this for Yibo with all the world as his witness.

Xiao Zhan would never be able to say any of these sappy things to Yibo’s face, and he doesn’t think Yibo needs or wants it, but he sings about climbing above the mountaintops and white clouds to encounter legends that feel familiar. 

Heaven knows it feels sometimes like Yibo is a mass of energy barely contained in his skinny frame. Relentless, wild, unbending, fiery with passion. It shines through when he’s dancing, or doing an emotional scene, or taking part in a competition, or fucking, or doing anything he cares about, really. Xiao Zhan has a front seat to all that due to the soulmate bond, but even without it we’d be able to tell how special his boy is.

Soulmates or not, Xiao Zhan would love him for how alive he is, and how much of that fire he’s brought into Xiao Zhan’s life. Unlike no other indeed.

So when the time to record the episode comes, he’s giddy for many reasons. There’s Na-jie, an idol he’s honoured to perform with. There’s being on a singing show, in his element, able to learn and show-off in equal measure. There’s the opportunity to sing and reinterpret Stephanie Sun’s creation. There’s the audience, eager for his every move. Mostly though, there’s a chance to proclaim his affection loud and clear for the ears that know how to listen.

That’s why he bounces all over the place during the rehearsal, raps when there’s time between everyone’s performances, and feels boundless with energy when he and Na-jie take the stage for the second time. He’s bursting at the seams with excitement and pure joy of being able to express himself fully. He doesn’t even mind singing ancore alone, jumping here and there, high-fiving every contestant and smiling until his cheeks hurt.

Even if he still had doubts about coming to this show, which he doesn’t, they would all vanish by this point.

Wow, I guess it went great?, says a message from Yibo when Xiao Zhan checks his phone after the recording.

As it should. He’s made no move to conceal his giddiness, knowing Yibo would feel it through the connection. It’s only fair, since it’s all meant for him anyway.

You’ll see when the episode comes out, is all Xiao Zhan writes in reply.

When it does, he sends Yibo a text with a link and a simple let me know what you think.

Yibo video calls right after he’s done.

“Zhan-ge,” he says, “I don’t want to startle you or anything, but I think you might have a crush on me.”

Xiao Zhan can only laugh, helpless in the face of Yibo’s smitten smile.

“Right, so embarrassing on my part, I have to start handling it better,” he says once he’s able to get over having made Yibo so obviously happy with just one song.

“Don’t you dare!” Yibo theatrically shakes his fist. “I like my Zhan-ge transparently sappy, I wouldn’t have him any other way.”

“It wasn’t that sappy,” he protests just to be contrary.

Yibo raises a sceptic eyebrow and starts singing:

“Its electric shock is unbelievable, like a miracle

Coming across my life

Unlike no other, you are the green light

The one and only.”

He grins at the end, looking smug and shining and loved, everything Xiao Zhan hoped Yibo would be when he was choosing this song.

It doesn’t mean Xiao Zhan is ready to verbally concede the point and while while they continue arguing, he feels something inside him settle.

Being with Yibo now, under the watchful gaze of the world, is different from being with him in that wonderful, endless summer. It’s different from what Xiao Zhan has learned was a relatively quiet year between A’Ling’s filming and its broadcast. But even now when everything is much more complicated he has ways to show how he feels.

Zhen Qing Shi Gan, Yibo once said during an interview. Of course he was referring to that summer, and A’Ling as a project they were all too attached to, but he was also speaking of them, what they found amidst the glory of a story worth all their passion.

Xiao Zhan’s true feelings and emotions are no less intense than Yibo’s, and he has no intention of hiding them. Whether it’s where the two of them came from or what they’re heading towards, he wants his green light with him, and he doesn’t mind telling the world about it, even if with just a song.

***

The screen goes dark, and Xiao Zhan glowers at it, as if his phone is to blame for everything that’s happening.

He really shouldn’t have opened Weibo, has been warned against it by his team many times, but it didn’t seem possible for things to be getting even worse instead of better. Seeing it for himself seemed like a reasonable idea.

Well, consider the misconception corrected now: everything is somehow worse than before.

Yesterday he turned on the TV to distract himself and caught the tail end of some news reporter’s speech about ‘the Xiao Zhan scandal’ and how it, unfortunately, was taking people’s focus away from the pandemic. Truly unfortunate, he thought, especially since a fucking news channel was wasting time on this instead of reporting actually important issues.

A low point for sure, but the new day has brought new accusations and more dropped endorsements, as well as fresh exciting hot searches filled with even more hate than yesterday.

It’s eleven o’clock in the morning, but going to bed and being unconscious sounds like just the thing to do.

Instead, Xiao Zhan opens the fridge and gets out the necessary ingredients to make jianbing pancakes. He busies himself at the counter and then at the stove and doesn’t think about anything. He lays the jianbing on a plate, makes tea and doesn’t think about anything. He sits down at the table, brushes a hand over his hair to get it out of his face and doesn’t think about anything. Except maybe, for a thousandth time since going into quarantine, that his hair is getting too damn long.

He and Yibo used to tie tiny ponytails for each other and laugh. Those days seem to belong to a different world now, like Yibo himself, stuck in a hotel room on the other side of the country, helpless and angry.

Xiao Zhan isn’t angry.

Xiao Zhan stares at the food that’s gone cold. He’s not that hungry anyway, so he just wraps it up and puts in the fridge for later, washes the dishes.

At first, he was just confused. Then alarmed. Then angry, when the viciousness spread far enough to affect his family. Then really alarmed when it became obvious this wasn’t just another regular scandal. The official apology — what was he even apologising for? what the hell was happening?— didn’t do any good. Now he mostly just tries to understand.

Washing the dishes doesn’t awaken the urge for any further cleaning, but his hands are restless. Back when quarantine first started, he was somewhat grateful for an unexpected opportunity to relax, spend unlimited time with Yibo and, oh god, sleep. As weeks went on he started missing work, but then he’s always known he was a bit of a workaholic.

Now his traitorous brain reminds him there may not be any work to go back to after lockdown is over. It makes his non-anger flair up. What right do these people have to take away what Xiao Zhan has worked so hard for?

Drawing! That’s ought to occupy him and his restless hands for now. Bypassing the tablet, he goes for a sketchbook and grabs a few pencils. While digital art is still his usual choice, there’s something about the physicality of good old paper drawing that calls to him now. He turns on music for atmosphere and begins.

The thing is, he isn’t like Yibo, or Yixing, or a lot of other celebrities. He didn’t grow up in this industry, nor receive any training. When asked about Korea, Yibo usually mostly focuses on long hours of practice, monthly evaluations and stuff like that. But Xiao Zhan thinks that, as a trainee, Yibo has also learned something even more valuable: what it means to be a public figure.

Xiao Zhan may have had his own notions on celebrity life when he was starting, but the truth is, he was woefully unprepared to have so many eyes on him. It wasn’t too bad before, but this summer changed everything drastically. He had so many responsibilities, so many things to learn and do, be everywhere at once, that the need to manage his fans never even occurred to him.

What does it even mean, manage? He’s always thought that his responsibility is to work hard, be respectful and share positive energy with fans. That’s where his part starts and ends, and what other people do is their own business.

He still believes in it. But. Maybe there is logic to what is being said now. Maybe he does also have responsibility over those who like him. But how the fuck is he supposed to manage literal millions of people? Don’t they have parents? Their own brains?

The pencil scratches hard against paper, bringing Xiao Zhan out of his reverie. There are a few lines on the paper, some vague shapes here and there, but it’s mostly empty.

Frustrated with himself, he goes back to the kitchen to check his discarded phone. No updates from the team, but there are new messages from Ayunga and an old Chongqing friend.

So many people — friends, family, industry seniors — have reached out to him in the last few days with words of encouragement. But while their support means the world to him, he has to figure it out himself, or all their well-meaning wishes and consolations won’t make any difference.

And there’s a lot to figure out. Why is this happening? Is any of it on him? Was there anything he could’ve done to prevent it? How to solve this? Is there even a way to? What has to change if there is? Does he even want to continue doing this when what feels like half of China hates his guts?

These things plague him daily, but the last one makes him pause now and almost smile.

He’s already lived through mindless hatred and baseless accusations before, although it wasn’t his own life. Given, he hasn’t yet been accused of being able to raise the mountains and drain the seas to bring the world into chaos, nor has anyone pinned any eaten babies on him, but it doesn’t seem too far off at the rate everyone is going.

Well, didn’t he admire Wei Wuxian for living through all of that and still staying true to himself, able to enjoy the world with both its beauty and ugliness?

Xiao Zhan wants to follow his example, he’s just unclear on how to go about it without dying for sixteen years.

And so he thinks and thinks and thinks, and still doesn’t get far. Distracting himself with a movie doesn’t help, and Xiao Zhan gives up altogether. Apparently today is one of those days when he just thinks in circles and fails at doing anything.

There’s only one thing for it then.

He goes back to bed, turning off all the lights and taking off his glasses, cocoons himself in a soft comforter.

And then Xiao Zhan listens.

Yibo’s heartbeat is steady and strong. There aren’t any emotions, bad or good, accompanying it, so it’s quiet otherwise. Xiao Zhan hopes nothing too bad is coming from his end on this stupid day, but even if it is, he won’t do anything about it.

He tried when this whole shitshow just started, but Yibo’s reaction was pretty unambiguous.

“Stop it,” he said, eyes blazing, scorching Xiao Zhan all the way from Hengdian, “I’ll block you if I need to do it for work, but don’t you dare cut me off.”

Xiao Zhan acquiesced, despite everything inside him screaming to not involve anyone else, and has stayed true to his word.

He hasn’t told Yibo his heartbeat is the only thing that helps when everything else fails. He’s not sure he ever will.

But it’s true nonetheless. Xiao Zhan focuses on the steady rhythm, feels it in his chest beside his own heart, breathes in and out. His mind goes blessedly quiet, and this time he really does stop thinking.

His whole body letting go of the restless tension, Xiao Zhan burrows further into the comforter and keeps listening.

***

It’s incredible what difference a few months can make, in that Xiao Zhan now has to block Yibo a lot, because this summer Yibo discovers Street Dance of China.

It ignites him in a way Xiao Zhan has never seen before.

Generally, Yibo takes on work projects with the confidence and poise of someone who was chosen for training in a foreign country with the sole purpose of surviving and succeeding in the entertainment industry. He faces challenges head-on, does what needs to be done, and gives his one hundred percent every time. He stays mostly level-headed and adapts when there are difficulties in his way.

He’s still all that, but it’s different this time, too.

For one, he is more nervous than Xiao Zhan has ever known him to be.

“They are professional dancers,” he explains a few days before filming. “Me and Yixing-ge and other idols may know how to dance, but it’s not the same. They are the experts, international competitors, I think the difference will be obvious right from the start.”

It puts a lot of pressure on him, makes him work even harder than usual and rehearse his opening number to the point of utter exhaustion.

But the nerves Xiao Zhan can handle, it’s the almost maniacal level of excitement that seeps through even when Yibo does their usual work-appropriate bond silencing.

The first time it spikes high enough to give Xiao Zhan an almost physical jolt, he actually texts Yibo to make sure everything’s okay.

i just met BOUBOO, is the reply that pretty much explains everything.

Even among international champions, Bouboo is a god. Xiao Zhan knows this because, when Yibo first found out Bouboo would be on the show, he was sat down and lectured about finer points of French hiphop, complete with supplemental video materials and nonstop gushing from the lecturer.

He should’ve known it wouldn’t stop there.

After the first battle for additional towels where Bouboo proceeds to blow Yibo’s mind completely and irreversibly, Yibo calls Xiao Zhan.

“Zhan-ge, I’m sorry, but if Bouboo decides I’m his dance soulmate, I’m gonna have to run away with him. You’d understand, right?”

Xiao Zhan, woken up in the middle of the night, stares at Yibo’s overexcited post-filming face on the screen. After a few moments, his brain seems to finally get that it’s that kind of conversation. Well, if that’s the case, “Sure, and I’d wish you two all the happiness in the world.” Before Yibo can react to the lack of jealousy, Xiao Zhan tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows in an over-the-top show of concern. “But… I mean, you can run away with Bouboo, but then what would Valentino Rossi think?”

Yibo looks dazed for a second, opens his mouth as if to say something, then closes it without making a sound. He seems to be seriously considering what he would do in a hypothetical situation where he’d need to choose between his two idols.

It’s so absurd and endearing that Xiao Zhan has to turn his face into the pillow and laugh his heart out. When he resurfaces, Yibo is watching him sullenly.

“Do you enjoy making me suffer?”

“Just a tiny bit,” he beams at Yibo. “Come on, tell me more about Bouboo’s heroic deeds.”

Of course, it’s not just about Bouboo or any other dancer in particular.

Dancing is Yibo’s first love. It hasn’t been dimmed or lessened by time, or hardships, or other passions he has let into his heart. It permeates his very soul and makes it shine that much brighter.

By now, Xiao Zhan fancies he can feel when Yibo is dancing. He becomes intensely focused and at the same time lets go of everything burdening him, just lets his body move. It a very distinct feeling, sharp and calm and purposeful at the same time. Xiao Zhan doesn’t know if it possible for Yibo’s heart to beat differently during dancing and he’s never bothered to check if his suspicions are correct, but he’s pretty sure he knows when Yibo in his serious dance mode, can feel the rhythm of it.

The opportunity to be surrounded by like-minded people and share this feeling is one Yibo hasn’t had in ages, not on this scale. Now he revels in it, so much so that Xiao Zhan has to actively block him to be able to do any kind of work.

But when Xiao Zhan isn't working, he makes sure to soak up every drop of Yibo’s unbridled joy. This year has been difficult, to put it lightly. So many opportunities have been lost, and even if Xiao Zhan’s future isn’t up in the air anymore, his every step has to be carefully measured. It’s a slow climb back. 

For Yibo to find this project at a time like this is a gift to them both, to be honest.

A few episodes in, it becomes clear Yibo fits extraordinarily well with the street dance crowd. He’s a walking encyclopaedia when it comes to this, knows all the spoken and unspoken rules, understands and respects the art form and the performers. They all come to see it and accept him wholeheartedly, as far as Xiao Zhan can tell from already broadcasted episodes and from what Yibo shares with him.

Soon he has an opportunity to visit the set and see everything with his own eyes. 

It’s chaotic, but safe enough. Xiao Zhan gets introduced to Yang Kai Yibo hopes to woo into his team, Xiao Ji that turns out to be even more hilarious and charming than he is on TV, and so many more. Even Bouboo, who is by now on friendly terms with Yibo despite their lack of any shared language.

There’s a spark in all their eyes that matches Yibo’s, and Xiao Zhan is so glad Yibo gets to have this. Watching him together with the contestants — be it strategising or practicing in between filming, Yibo diligent and eager to soak up everything the dancers are willing to teach him — is a lot.

While Xiao Zhan tries to deal with this burst of pride for Yibo, Yibo himself stops what he’s doing and unerringly looks back, a question evident in his eyes. Xiao Zhan shoos him away, but still gets an earful later about being such a sap, Zhan-ge, should’ve invited you even sooner if you like this so much.

He also meets Liao Bo, Wang Chenchen and Director Lu. It’s obvious they care about the show with burning passion, even if they have to think about practical side of the program as much as the creative one. They are good people, as far as Xiao Zhan can tell, and it only adds to the charm of the whole set.

He’s glad to come here and see just how much good surrounds Yibo on daily basis. 

“They are good people,” Yixing confirms, “they care about street dance, and that’s the most important part. This season is already bigger than the last two, more people are discovering the show and the street dance culture, it’s amazing. But we’re also promoting our culture, you know? We have the opportunity to show Chinese values and stories through dance, we can create something new and wonderful and share it with everyone. Gosh, I’m really so excited. There’s this dancer, Huang Xiao, look out for him, I just know he’s gonna blow everyone away…”

As he continues in this vein, Xiao Zhan allows himself to get swept away with Yixing’s enthusiasm. It may be of a slightly different kind than Yibo’s, but it’s just as infectious.

Yixing is a gem of this industry. Talented, hardworking and ambitious, he uses his success to continuously move forward, grow creatively, always invent new ways of expression and give others an opportunity to do the same. He cares about China’s cultural impact more than any other celebrity Xiao Zhan has ever met, his passion a fiery, intense thing.

Privately, Yixing is kind and sweet, even awkward at times, pleasantly easy to get along with. Steadfast and loyal too, as Xiao Zhan has found out thanks to this year’s scandal. There’s a reason his account was the first one XZ Studio followed on Douyin.

Back when Yibo had first offered to introduce them to each other, Xiao Zhan hadn’t had a clue just how good a friend he would be gaining.

Yixing is also extremely enthusiastic about the concept of soulmates. Having yet to meet his own, he’s always curious about the bond.

“So do you feel it when he’s… like that?” Yixing nods at the corner across the room where Yibo is excitedly learning complicated-looking moves from Bouboo.

“It’s still okay now,” Xiao Zhan shrugs. There’s a low-level excitement coming through, the kind that he doesn’t even register anymore without deliberately concentrating. “When he’s watching battles though…”

Xiao Zhan shakes his head, remembering the explosions in his chest from the last time. 

“Isn’t it distracting for you?”

“Maybe a little, but we’ve gotten pretty good at blocking each other if needed.”

Yixing just nods, but there’s a glint in his eyes that makes Xiao Zhan want to curse at the universe. If anyone deserves to meet their soulmate, it’s Yixing. And yet.

“Hey,” Xiao Zhan bumps his shoulder lightly, “it happens when it happens, right? I can’t imagine what a disaster meeting Yibo earlier than I did would’ve been.”

It makes Yixing chuckle. “He used to be even cuter though, who knows. But you’re right. I should just focus on becoming better, enough that I deserve my soulmate when the time comes.”

Xiao Zhan squints at him incredulously. Is he for real? “If you become any better you’re gonna give your soulmate inferiority complex.”

Of course Yibo chooses this exact moment to join the conversation.

“What’s this? My soulmate flirting with other people?”

“Weren’t you running away with Bouboo?” Xiao Zhan raises an eyebrow. “Kinda gives me the right to ‘flirt’ with whoever I want to.”

“Shh!” Yibo slaps a hand over Xiao Zhan’s mouth, physically silencing him. “He’s gonna hear you!” he hisses in a low voice.

Xiao Zhan buckles under his grip, but Yibo holds firm.

“Wait, you’re running away with Bouboo?” Yixing asks, louder than is strictly necessary.

Yibo turns a betrayed pout on him. “Yixing-ge!”

“What?” He smiles, unrepentant. “And anyway, he could still choose my team, you know.”

The pout transforms into a gremlin smirk. “In your dreams. He’s met my famous boyfriend, so he’s definitely gonna come with me now.”

Xiao Zhan finally throws Yibo’s hand off and ducks away. “Wang Yibo! What sort of nonsense is this? Stop with the bullshit and go back to practice!”

And so Xiao Zhan watches Yibo in his element, hangs out with Yixing and some of the dancers, meets Zhong Hanliang and gets bulldozed — in a good way — by Wang Jiaer’s boisterous presence that complements Yibo’s gremlin side very well. 

(Lele is almost constantly by his side throughout all of it, most likely having been told by Yibo to keep an eye on him. It maybe would’ve been irritating just a little bit, but first, this is Lele, and second, it’s actually extremely prudent of Yibo, loathe as Xiao Zhan to admit it).

He also participates in filming a hilarious segment where captains try to convince some of the dancers to switch sides. Okay, maybe ‘participates’ is a big word for being in the background disguised from head to toe, his back to the camera, but it is something.

Assuming Xiao Zhan’s career gets back on track, it will still be years upon years before he and Yibo are allowed to film anything together. Getting to be a part, no matter how small, of the project that is obviously very special to Yibo is satisfying in its own way.

And then the actual dance part of the episode begins. 

Even if Xiao Zhan doesn’t know all the ins and outs, just sitting in the audience as an amateur viewer is plenty exciting. Especially when Yibo is in the same room and periodically loses his shit over something. Xiao Zhan doesn’t even try to block him, just enjoys what’s happening on stage and all that floods him through the bond.

He takes a break at one point to take a call from his manager. There isn’t a lot of private space on this set, but Lele guides him to a small room Yibo gets to have as a captain. It doesn’t get much use, Yibo preferring to spend his time among the contestants, but comes in handy now.

Just when Xiao Zhan hangs up and is about to go back, the door opens to let Yibo in. He’s a little sweaty, visibly pumped up and sporting a huge grin.

“A break?” Xiao Zhan asks, pocketing his phone.

“Yeah.” Yibo catches his movement and nods at the phone, “Is everything alright?”

“All good, just a scheduling thing. How was the last performance? Did they get the strict Captain Wang Yibo treatment?”

“‘Strict Captain Wang Yibo treatment’?” Yibo repeats with raised eyebrows, his mouth twisting into a smirk. “Is that something you like, Zhan-ge?”

“Nope, just asking as a curious member of the audience,” Xiao Zhan says evenly, keeping his own smirk to a minimum as Yibo comes closer.

Lies, all lies, of course. 

Yibo’s been gaining a reputation for his exacting standards and professional no-nonsense commentary on the performances. If it’s good, he’s generous with his praise, if it’s bad, he doesn’t mince his words, explaining in detail why he thinks so. Seeing it up close today has filled Xiao Zhan’s heart with pride but his dick with something else entirely.

“Well, to satisfy the audience’s curiosity: it was fucking lit.” With that, Yibo closes the remaining space between them and kisses him.

Xiao Zhan can’t even say that Yibo instantly goes from zero to sixty because there is no zero to begin with. His mouth is hot and insisting right from the start, and Xiao Zhan has no choice but to open up under the force of his kiss.

Yibo licks into his mouth, presses in with rest of his body too, pushing until Xiao Zhan’s back hits the wall. The impact, while not too forceful, makes him jolt and let out a small oomph. Yibo doesn’t even pause, just bites down on Xiao Zhan’s lower lip, hard, harder than they usually dare outside the bedroom, then pulls it with his teeth before going back in to suck on Xiao Zhan’s tongue.

Xiao Zhan can’t help but come alive, meeting him with eagerness, and soon the kiss becomes messy in the best way.

When they finally draw back, Yibo doesn’t go far and Xiao Zhan takes a good look at him. His lips are shiny with spit, cheeks pink even through the heavy filming make up, and his eyes are feverishly glassy.

That’s another thing about Yibo and dancing: sometimes it makes him horny like nothing else in the world.

Xiao Zhan, lowkey turned on by Yibo in captain mode, has been thinking about doing something about it later in the hotel, but it seems like a change of plans is in order.

“Zhan-ge,” Yibo pants, his heart pounding fast and loud in Xiao Zhan’s chest.

Mentally calculating, Xiao Zhan glances around. The room is pretty far from the main stage, so probably not many people are around. There’s a pack of tissues by Yibo’s backpack on a small table.

All in all, not bad, except, “The door?” he asks, even as his hand creeps under Yibo’s loose grey-pink shirt.

“Locked it,” Yibo murmurs, leaning into the touch and inching even closer. He licks Xiao Zhan’s mole, then bites down on his jaw, lightly this time, and stays there, breathing into his skin. “Zhan-ge,” he says again, punctuating it with a slow grind of his hips.

Fuck, he’s already half-hard.

With a light huff at Yibo apparently getting so pumped up that he came here with a very explicit purpose of burning off the abundant energy, and even locking the door beforehand, Xiao Zhan turns his head slightly and noses at Yibo’s cheek. He ghosts his lips over his, barely a touch, and draws back, hovering just within reach. Yibo doesn’t need to be teased, not when he’s so far gone already, but it’s precisely what makes it so fun.

Predictably, he smashes their mouths together with a growl, surging forward with his whole body. Xiao Zhan laughs into it. 

See? Fun.

Having gotten the green light, Yibo lets go of whatever restraint he was still clinging to. He tugs at the mask tucked under Xiao Zhan’s chin and throws it aside. The slow grinding becomes more insistent and forceful and when Xiao Zhan raises a leg and wraps it around him for easier access, his hips thrust forward hard enough to make them both gasp.

“Fuck, sshh, we have to keep quiet,” Xiao Zhan hisses.

Yibo laughs into his neck, and it’s an unhinged sound, betraying the sort of energy that has made him desperate for a quickie on set. He hitches Xiao Zhan’s leg higher, his palm huge and hot even through the barrier of clothing, which puts his thigh in perfect contact with Xiao Zhan’s rapidly hardening dick. 

“Yeah, Zhan-ge, we have to be quiet,” he says over the moan Xiao Zhan lets out.

“Brat.” It comes out slightly strangled, but that’s okay, more than okay when Yibo tongues the fluttering pulse on his neck and grinds their hips together so deliciously.

Xiao Zhan palms the smooth expense of his back under the shirt, his muscles shifting under Xiao Zhan’s fingers with every movement. He scratches lightly, traces Yibo’s vertebrae down and down, until he reaches the small of his back. There, he digs his fingernails in, enough to sting.

It makes Yibo whine, and then he’s letting go of Xiao Zhan’s leg and moving away from his neck. Instead, he grips Xiao Zhan’s hand and moves it around to push it against his dick. Keeping it there, he ruts into it, looking up with hot eyes.

Getting the hint, Xiao Zhan uses the other hand to open Yibo’s pants and shove it down along with his underwear. It’s enough to free Yibo’s dick, fully hard and leaking precome. When he finally takes it into his hand, Yibo tilts forward, pushing into the tight ring Xiao Zhan makes for him.

“Fuck, fuck, Zhan-ge, uhh,” he babbles into Xiao Zhan’s cheek.

Thoroughly pleased with how debauched he is after only getting a hand, Xiao Zhan thumbs at his head, spreading precome and enjoying the glide of skin on skin.

Yibo can’t seem to decide what to do with his own hands. He grips Xiao Zhan’s shoulders first, then puts one hand in his hair. Unable to tug as he usually would thanks to Xiao Zhan’s new haircut, he cups his face and dives in for a kiss, then fucks his tongue into Xiao Zhan’s mouth in sync with the way he’s thrusting into Xiao Zhan’s hand. 

Then he slides his palms down until he reaches the waistband of Xiao Zhan’s pants. Having finally decided on what exactly he wants to do, he makes a quick work of opening them enough to shove everything down. He cups Xiao Zhan’s ass, pushing them so close Xiao Zhan can’t really move his hand anymore. Before he can complain, Yibo shifts his grip and manhandles Xiao Zhan into turning around to face the wall.

Plastering himself all along Xiao Zhan’s back, he grits, “Let’s. Fuck, let me—” He doesn’t finish, pushes his cock against Xiao Zhan’s ass. “Let me—” he tries again but is interrupted by his own moan when Xiao Zhan pushes back into him, making Yibo’s dick slide between the cheeks. 

And isn’t that an idea. Totally unfeasible, of course, unless lube magically appears and the break in the filming turns out longer than it probably is. But still, the mere thought of fucking here against the wall, Yibo burning with all this energy, makes liquid heat pool in his belly.

“Been dying for it today, have you?” he asks with a smile, reaching for Yibo’s arm to wrap it around his middle.

Yibo goes willingly, squeezing Xiao Zhan and making him bend a little. “Always dying for it.”

“Should’ve been better prepared then,” Xiao Zhan teases and takes his hand again, this time to lick his palm and suck on his fingers, making everything as wet as possible.

When Yibo responds, he sounds suitably strangled. “Guess we’ll make do with the next best thing.”

He spits in his other hand, slicks his dick as much as possible and finally properly pushes between Xiao Zhan’s cheeks. It’s not ideal, but the spit and precome ease the glide, and when Yibo brushes against his rim, not pushing in, it’s still delicious.

Even this approximation of fucking makes Yibo frantic, and he, widening his stance, starts rutting in earnest. At the same time, he wraps the hand that Xiao Zhan has made all nice and wet around Xiao Zhan’s cock and starts pumping.

Pressed against the wall but bent into Yibo’s body, Xiao Zhan feels almost lightheaded with pleasure. Some of it is Yibo’s frantic energy getting into him through the bond, but mostly he is just unbelievably fucking horny. He pushes back and forth between Yibo’s dick and hand, riding this rough high. The sound of skin on skin, the way his barely pushed-down pants dig into his thighs, the rhythm Yibo’s building, his hand on Xiao Zhan’s cock twisting on the upstroke — it all blurs together until he’s almost as frenzied as Yibo.

Wanting a better leverage, he gets one forearm against the wall and rests his forehead on it. It allows him to bend over a little more, which is all kinds of delightful. Yibo reacts instantly, wrapping an arm around his torso and bending with him. He noses at the back of Xiao Zhan’s neck, grazes his teeth there lightly, licks at the sweat he’s worked up.

His cock’s head catches on Xiao Zhan’s rim, and it punches a breath out of them both. Xiao Zhan squeezes his cheeks as much as he can, keeping Yibo there, but just then there’s a knock on the door.

“Yibo-duizhang, you are needed back in ten!” someone says, probably a set assistant.

A full-body shudder goes through Yibo. He clamps both hands on Xiao Zhan’s cheeks to squeeze them tight around his dick, and starts rutting wildly, mindlessly, not caring about the rhythm of anything else. He comes just like that, hips stuttering against Xiao Zhan, miraculously not making a sound, his breath hot and wet on Xiao Zhan’s neck.

“Yibo-duizhang?“

With Yibo being useless right now, Xiao Zhan tries to find his voice. 

“Coming, thank you!” he calls out and promptly burst into giggles as Yibo, still slumped against him, hits him.

They stay silent for a few moments, but there are no more sounds outside, so the set assistant is probably gone.

“‘Coming?’ Seriously?” Yibo asks incredulously.

Xiao Zhan snorts. “Not my fault you’re an adrenaline junkie that gets off on almost being caught.” He tries disentangling himself from Yibo, but gets stopped immediately. “Hey, come on, we don’t have time.”

Yibo huffs. “Who do you take me for, Zhan-ge?” 

He shifts his hips away, careful of the mess he made, but gets his hand back on Xiao Zhan’s still very much hard dick. The frenziness from before is gone, but Yibo knows how to get him off better than anyone else. And at this point he really doesn’t need much, having gotten so close to coming.

So Xiao Zhan closes his eyes and lets himself have it. He throws his head back against Yibo’s shoulder and licks his lips.

Yibo peppers small kisses along his face and neck, noses behind his ear, his free hand scratching Xiao Zhan’s pubic hair lightly, caressing his hipbones. Then his fingers go around and part his ass cheeks again. He swipes at his own cum there and presses against Xiao Zhan’s hole.

“Mnn?” Yibo mutters a half-question into his ear.  

Xiao Zhan nods, his breath quickening. 

Yibo’s thumb grazes the rim, then moves away to stroke further up the perineum, his other hand working tirelessly at the same time.

It makes Xiao Zhan moan, lost in the feeling again and really, really wanting to come now.

Finally, Yibo pushes his thumb in, just up to the knuckle, and it’s enough to make Xiao Zhan jolt, push back, wanting more. Yibo pulls back slightly, the pad of his thumb circling the rim, catching on it and stretching, then pushes in again. It’s absurdly good for how little it really is, and Xiao Zhan clenches, hard.

Yibo’s hot breath on his neck moves lower until his teeth lightly graze a sensitive spot near Xiao Zhan’s shoulder.

It makes him shiver in anticipation, and then Yibo bites down, hard.

Between his big hand on Xiao Zhan’s cock, his thumb lightly pushing in and the sting from the  bite, Xiao Zhan is finally pushed over the edge. He jolts, pushes back, his rim spasming around Yibo’s thumb, and lets go at last.

Yibo easily supports his weight when he slumps back.

“Good?” he asks quietly into Xiao Zhan’s hair.

Xiao Zhan nods shakily and tries to catch his breath.

There’s always a moment of adjustment at times like this, when one of them is already more or less calm and the other is only just coming down from the orgasm high. The difference in heartbeat is slightly jarring: he can feel in his chest both his own still jackrabbiting and Yibo’s, much more steady. After two years it’s nothing new, but it still never fails to catch Xiao Zhan’s attention.

When he straightens up, Yibo pats his hip and lets him go easily, goes to grab the tissues. Yibo is mostly clean, but Xiao Zhan is an utter mess and has to change into Yibo’s spare shirt.

“It’s all your fault,” he mock-glares at Yibo, buttoning up his pants.

Yibo eyes him, a huge smile back on his face. “I’ll accept it, but next time it’s your fault.”

“What next time?” Xiao Zhan asks, taking a fresh face mask Yibo digs from his backpack. 

“Next time when we get to actually fuck,” Yibo answers immediately. “Honestly, so unfair that there was no time or lube.”

“Oh yeah, so unfair, you look totally devastated.” Xiao Zhan pats Yibo’s decidedly satisfied looking face.

“Not the point! You know what?” Judging from Yibo’s tone, it’s going be either extremely good or extremely bad, but entertaining either way. “One day on whatever set I’ll be like, people, I’m gonna go have a quickie with Xiao Zhan, sayonara. And everyone will be like, totally understandable, Yibo, go ahead, take all the time you need, Xiao Zhan is right there, what else could we possibly expect you to do. And there will be lube. And then we will fuck.”

Xiao Zhan rubs his eyes, shoulders shaking in silent laughter. “And then we’ll be proclaimed the most professional actors in film history.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Yibo nods sagely, as if this is an entirely reasonable conversation.

Xiao Zhan just continues laughing and rests his forehead on Yibo’s shoulder, tipping into him. Yibo wraps him into a hug and sways them both from side to side.

“Do you want to go back to the hotel now?” he asks in his endearingly considerate way, “the filming will probably end very late.”

“No, what if you get horny again and kiss other people?”

“Ah, yes, that is a very real possibility, why didn’t I think of it.” He jabs Xiao Zhan in the side, making him dance away.

“Come on, there’s still, what, two minutes left? We should go to the bathroom to clean up better.”

“‘kay!” Yibo reaches the door and unlocks it. “It’s a good thing you’re staying, the next few rounds should be good. There’s a b-boy I really can’t wait to see…”

As he leads Xiao Zhan to the bathroom, he goes into a spiral about b-boys and routines, gesturing animatedly, voice excited and eyes bright with enthusiasm. After hours of working, and a moderately intense quickie, he is still this energetic and pumped up about filming.

Xiao Zhan smiles behind his mask.

Wang Yibo really isn’t human.

***

There’s a loud thud, immediately followed by a muffled curse. Xiao Zhan jerks awake and looks around the room in panic. Except he’s taken his contacts out before going to sleep, so he has to squint very hard to make out a vague human-shaped figure slowly making its way towards the bed. Even half-blind, even with the way the figure is weaving and almost stumbling along the way, Xiao Zhan recognises Yibo and lets out a sigh of relief.

“Shit. Zhan-ge. Did I scare you?” Yibo stumbles one last time and finally comes to a stop near Xiao Zhan’s side of the bed. “Your heartbeat’s all,” he waves a hand, “woah.”

With a huff, Xiao Zhan plops his head back down on the pillow. His heart really is only just now slowing its frantic beating, but it’s only fair, seeing how he’s been woken up by sudden noises at - he checks his phone - 3:28 in the morning. Great.

Trying to reign in his irritation, Xiao Zhan asks, “Did you at least have a good night?”

“Yeah,” Yibo nods a few times, then shakes his head, then nods again. “Yeah.” There’s a stupid drunken smile on his face that makes his cheeks bunch up. Alright, fine, irritation is successfully reigned in.

Neither of them gets a lot of opportunities to get completely smashed these days. It has to be either at home or at a place safe enough to prevent any leaks, and with people they trust completely. Add to it the issue of finding free time and, in Xiao Zhan’s case, the need to recover in bed for a whole day, and the result is very few instances of getting well and truly drunk.

Which Yibo very much is right now, judging by all the stumbling and a fight with a t-shirt he is currently losing. It takes a lot to get him shitfaced like this. Usually when Xiao Zhan is in one of his extremely drunk stages - either super sleepy or let’s party, people - Yibo is more than lucid enough to drink for hours more.

But he was with Yixuan and Wenhan today, so it makes sense he was able to let go as much as he apparently has. He sent a selfie when Xiao Zhan landed in Beijing this evening, he and his Uniq brothers raising glasses and grimacing at each other in whatever private restaurant or bar they’d chosen. Xiao Zhan smiled then, glad that Yibo was able to carve out some time to meet up with them.

He smiles now too, although for an entirely different reason. Yibo has given up on the t-shirt, having freed only one arm, and moved on to his pants. He’s more successful on that front, removing them along with underwear with only two minor threats of falling down. Then he just stands there, looking down. Is he suddenly very interested in his dick?

“Okay there, Lao Wang?” Xiao Zhan turns on his side to face Yibo, very much enjoying the show and the opportunity to make fun of him tomorrow.

Yibo frowns, looking up in the general vicinity of Xiao Zhan. “Socks,” he says all petulant. His pout and puppy-dog eyes are visible even in the dark.

A giggle escapes Xiao Zhan almost involuntary. He shifts on the mattress, reaching down. 

Their mattress is a consequence of one of Yibo’s online shopping sprees. It’s the highest monstrosity Xiao Zhan has ever seen, and when he first laid eyes on it he immediately called Yibo to complain about another waste of money.

“It’s not a waste of money,” Yibo insisted back then. “Your back’s been bothering you since your last shoot, hasn’t it? Just try it, see how it is. I get back home this week, we can properly break it in then.”

His smirk was so obnoxious even through the phone that Xiao Zhan was tempted to refuse on principle. But of course the mattress turned out to be heavenly both for sleeping and breaking it in together. It was so good that Xiao Zhan almost made a quip about keeping it if they ever had to divide their possessions, and only didn’t because saying such things was really bad luck. They’ll never need to divide their possessions if he has anything to say about it.

No matter how divine the mattress is though, with how high it is and Yibo standing a few steps away, Xiao Zhan has to get most of his torso down in order to reach him, and it’s uncomfortable enough to make him curse Yibo’s stupid pout and his own inability to withstand it. He grabs Yibo’s sock and pulls.

“Foot up,” he grunts, and Yibo complies. They repeat the process with the other foot, and the socks join Yibo’s pants and underwear on the floor. He can pick up after himself tomorrow. Laying back down, Xiao Zhan mutters, “You better appreciate me, Wang Yibo.”

“Appreciate, appreciate,” Yibo says in return and, maybe to show how much, lifts the covers and plops down on the bed so fast Xiao Zhan barely has time to roll away to not be squashed by him.

“For fuck’s sake,” he swears when Yibo still manages to whack him with an arm, “you have your own side.”

“Want Zhan-ge’s side.”

“A spoiled brat, that’s what you are.”

For all his grumbling, Xiao Zhan makes sure Yibo is covered enough not to freeze at night. It’s mostly him being a good boyfriend and only slightly out of self-preservation: Yibo would definitely steal the blankets later in the night otherwise.

In the dim light coming through the door left ajar - Yibo probably forgot to switch it off or was still not used to this apartment - Xiao Zhan can see his face pretty clearly even without glasses. Maybe it’s true for Yibo too, because he reaches out from under the blankets and gently pokes the tender skin under Xiao Zhan’s eyes. It must be bruised, judging by his frown.

“You don’t sleep enough,” he says, like a total hypocrite. Before Xiao Zhan can accuse him of it, he jolts. “Wait, Zhan-ge, did I wake you up?” His eyes are wide with sudden panic, as if it only just occurred to him.

“You’re kinda hard to miss like this,” Xiao Zhan waves a hand to indicate Yibo’s general drunkenness.

It makes Yibo’s face contort into a comically guilty grimace, and he is suddenly a spitting image of that little character from a fan comic. When Xiao Zhan first saw Bobi and Zanbi he practically melted from Bobi’s cuteness and then chocked on his own laughter at Yibo’s insistence he was nothing like ‘that pig’. All his protests turned out to be moot, because he then proceeded to regularly send Xiao Zhan updates of the comic.

As a rule, Xiao Zhan tries to steer clear of delving too much into their fans’ creations, doubly, triply so after, well, after the beginning of this year. But this comic is sweet and adorable, entertaining in a harmless way, so he keeps up when he can. And Bobi is ridiculously cute.

Xiao Zhan manfully resists the urge to coo at the way guilty, panic-y Yibo resembles Bobi on the verge of tears and settles for patting his head when it seems like he’s about to get up to do whatever penance his drunken mind is insisting on.

“Settle down, piggy, it’s fine. We have a day off tomorrow, I can sleep in or even nap in the afternoon,” Xiao Zhan says, running his hand through Yibo’s hair lightly.

It seems to do the trick, Yibo laying his head back on the pillow and nudging into the caress.

“That’s good.” He opens one eye and squints. “Xiao-laoshi really needs his beauty sleep in his old age.”

Unbelievable. He’s gone from guilty to cheeky in a matter of seconds. That’s what Xiao Zhan gets for letting his guard down.

He tugs on Yibo’s hair sharply. “Gonna make you do the dishes tomorrow, just for that.”

“No problem,” the brat grins and moves closer to plant a brief sloppy kiss on Xiao Zhan.

His breath is minty fresh, so he must’ve done at least the bare minimum of his evening routine even in a state like this, which means he’s probably taken care of other stuff too, but Xiao Zhan checks anyway.

“Did you drink water before going to bed?”

 “Yeah, Xuan-mama made us do it,” Yibo says, probably aiming for annoyed, but landing somewhere around exasperatedly fond.

“Good.” Xiao Zhan mentally thanks Yixuan for still taking care of his flock of maknaes. It would suck to get out of warm bed right now to get Yibo water. He doesn’t get awful hangovers like Xiao Zhan does, but it’s still better to be safe than sorry.

Yibo seems to have settled, face half-buried in the pillow, when he starts squirming again, the t-shirt he’s still half-wearing all bunched up and twisted. They both prefer to sleep naked, especially in the comfort of their own home, so it must be really irritating.

When Xiao Zhan helps him get out of it, he shifts closer and leers.

“How toward of you,” he says, sliding his leg between Xiao Zhan’s. His hand, big and warm, strokes down Xiao Zhan’s back and palms his ass. “‘kay, let’s fuck,” he leans in and murmurs into Xiao Zhan’s cheek, “mmm, gonna fuck you so good,” accompanying it with a thrust of his hips.

Which, yeah, Yibo is a horny drunk more often than not, but he is truly sloshed tonight, so Xiao Zhan would be surprised if he even stayed awake long enough to get it up.

Sure enough, he quiets down almost immediately, breathing slowly. It’s probably better to leave him alone and let him sleep it off.

“Bo-ge,” Xiao Zhan says instead, grinning to himself, “have you started? Because I gotta admit, I can’t really feel it.”

Yibo stirs. “In a minute, Zhan-ge! God, you’re such a horndog. You only want me for my body.” He sounds bitchy even as he hides his face in Xiao Zhan’s neck.

“Yeah, but it’s such a nice body, can you blame me?”

“Hmm, guess that’s fair.”

It comes out almost slurred, all the more ridiculous for it - Yibo’s ego rearing its lion head even now. Xiao Zhan snorts, but magnanimously rubs a soothing hand down his back. Another minute, and Yibo drifts off again. 

Xiao Zhan knows he’ll get too warm during the night, being octopused like this, but doesn’t move a muscle to extricate himself.

It’s so normal, to cuddle his drunk boyfriend who’s come home after a night out with friends. Except that it isn’t, not at all, not with the lives they lead.

From the moment he signed with Wajijiwa, Xiao Zhan thought this kind of normalcy was far out of reach. And yet. Here he is, in the apartment he bought together with Yibo just a few weeks ago, still new and unfamiliar, but more of a home than he’s known in a while.

There’s a whole room filled with Yibo’s helmets, and his most prized legos and skateboards are proudly on display in the living room. Xiao Zhan’s cluttery ways have left their imprint too: a few books are scattered here and there, a hoodie thrown over the couch, both a tablet and a sketchpad ready at hand whenever he is in the mood to draw. They’ve got a huge gaming set up, a kitchen stoked up with potato chips and vinegar, the stove there seeing as much action as possible in their line of work.

It’s evidence of the hard-earned life they’ve built together.

Quarantining together had been a trial run for this, but then everything happened, and kept happening. And still Yibo — angry, emotionally worn out by worrying about Xiao Zhan and physically exhausted from all the work he’d placed on his own shoulders — dug his heels in and said, “I don’t want to come to a home that isn’t ours.”

Xiao Zhan didn’t want that either, so that was that. The only problem was finding free time to move, which had taken a few months, but now it’s all done and he gets to have this.

So getting too warm at night is not really a problem here, or at least it’s a problem for future Xiao Zhan. Now, he lets his arms tighten around Yibo and rests his cheek against his hair.

It’s nice enough that maybe he won’t give Yibo too much shit for waking him up at three in the morning.

***

Everything is red.

It is ridiculous. Impossible. His presence was only announced today, they shouldn’t have been prepared like that.

And yet, it’s all red.

Everything that’s happened this year, cancelled projects, lost endorsements, loud hatred and even louder self-doubt — he’d never been this lost in his life. A part of him thought he’d never get to stand on stage again at all, never mind one as big as Tencent’s.

When it was bad, when things started to get even worse instead of better, there was a moment he thought about giving it all up. Going back to Chongqing was always an option. He could build a life there, start over (again), leave behind the voices sprouting vitriol and the responsibility he hadn’t been ready for. At the time, it almost seemed like the choice was being made for him.

Except, of course, Xiao Zhan would never let anyone take that choice away from him.

“It’s about what you want, Zhan-ge, and nothing else,” Yibo said to him. “You can return to being a graphic designer, or be a baker, or whatever. It doesn’t matter, I know you would be successful no matter what you decided on. Hell, I’ll buy you a bakery right now if that’s what you want. But is it? Do you want to have a normal life?”

That was the crux of it, wasn’t it? He could, he knew that, but whether he wanted to was another matter. Back then, he thought about it carefully before coming to a decision.

Seeing the red ocean now, Xiao Zhan knows with perfect clarity that he doesn’t want a normal life.

He wants to work hard at something he believes in. He wants the feeling of finding a script that resonates with him. He wants long hours on set, doing take after take until he gets it just right. He wants a creative outlet for everything that’s inside him. He wants to make art, in whatever form, that touches people’s hearts and leaves a mark on this world. He wants to create, he wants to matter. He wants to be seen. He wants to reach for the brightest star in the night sky and hold it in his hand, illuminating the world and sharing its light with everyone who wants to see it.

The feeling that’s exploding in his chest is like holding that star — overwhelming, burning hot, almost too much. It’s beautiful.

There’s nothing quite like being on stage and having your name light up the whole room. Especially after ten months of near total silence.

It’s easier to handle with Yang Zi there, she’s a good filming and singing partner. But once she’s gone there’s nothing to distract him, nothing to look at but the red in all directions.

He gets through the first part of the song just fine but can’t help but look around before the next verse. He feels tears coming on, not spilling, but definitely making his eyes glassy, and has to swallow a few times.

The fans must’ve bought the tickets beforehand without being sure he’d even attend. They must’ve gone through a lot of trouble to smuggle the signs in spite of Tencent’s restrictions.

It’s… not an easy kind of love to receive.

It’s the kind that incites wars, makes people act irrationally, and almost ends up costing him his career. But it’s also the kind to build public schools and roads, to donate thousands of RMB to charities, to inspire people and make them better every day, even if just a little.

For better or for worse, these people love him. Choosing to stay, Xiao Zhan has decided to take on the responsibility to accept this love and try to shape it into something positive.

It’s not easy at all, never was and never will be, but it’s a fair trade, really, if he gets to have this double-edged love fill him up to the brim, the most special kind of inspiration there is.

Only an iron will and hard-won professionalism allow him to finish the song without choking up. He hightails it right after, not allowing himself to linger even a second longer than necessary.

He holds it together all through his team congratulating him and leading him back to the dressing room. Then Yibo is in front of him, his mouth twisted into a small smile, eyes blazing and one arm already outstretched.

Without even thinking about it, Xiao Zhan steps closer to him, instantly getting enveloped in a hug.

Yibo’s grip on him is tight, and Xiao Zhan is reminded that he’s not the only one who’s been affected by the February incident. Yibo tried not to show it, unwilling to burden Xiao Zhan further, but he was so angry. At the fans, the anonymous haters, the sponsors, the whole industry. At having to stay silent when all he wanted was to rage at those people. Angry at himself for being unable to get to Beijing when shit hit the fan.

He worked himself to the bone, taking on too many projects and endorsements for any sane person to handle. It was, in part, him seizing the moment and making the most of being on top, but there was more to it.

“They can’t win,” he said, gritting his teeth. The purple underneath his eyes was prominent even through the small screen of Xiao Zhan’s phone. “If you have to take a break for a while, I’ll just work harder for both of us until you’re back.”

Yibo never seemed to doubt Xiao Zhan would be back, no matter how improbable, given how high he’d climbed and how hard the subsequent fall had been.

He cheered when Xiao Zhan emerged for the first time for a charity event, excessively praised Xiao Zhan’s little doodles shared on Weibo and made fun of Gu Yiye-style haircut only a little bit. 

Even as things slowly became better, he remained steadfast and immovable, letting Xiao Zhan practice The Brightest Star in the Night Sky and Running to You With All I Have during video calls, and just being there whenever Xiao Zhan needed it. Yibo went as far as booking two rehearsal slots in his name today, leaving Xiao Zhan’s out completely to make sure there’d be no chance for any kind of incident.

Yibo’s become synonymous with safety this past year, and Xiao Zhan easily leans into it now and loosens the grip on everything that’s bubbling inside him. A few tears finally spill over, and Xiao Zhan has to look up to prevent more from coming. It doesn’t entirely work.

At the same time, Yibo’s relief and pride floods him, his heart loud both against Xiao Zhan’s chest and through the bond. Come to think of it, he’s been silent since before the performance, probably shielding Xiao Zhan from any kind of distraction. Good thing too, there was no way he could’ve done it himself.

“I’m pretty sure you just invented a new emotion.” Yibo sounds a little chocked up, having gotten the front row to Xiao Zhan’s experience on stage. 

“Pretty sure I did,” Xiao Zhan nods into his shoulder. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this way. Not the first time he sang on X-Fire, not even at any of A’Ling concerts with crowds bigger than he’d ever performed for before. “It was…” He draws back to face Yibo, searching for the right words.

“Red,” Yibo finishes for him with that same crooked smile, taking both his hands and squeezing them.

“Yeah,” Xiao Zhan laughs. It comes out louder than he intends, relieved and slightly watery, although there are no more tears. “Yeah, exactly. I didn’t think—”

“I did,” Yibo interrupts. “I told you when we were filming A’Ling they would love you. I was right. Doesn’t matter how long it’s been, they can’t just stop loving you, believe me, I know from experience.”

“That’s… that’s so sappy.” Xiao Zhan grimaces and tries to free his hands.

Yibo just grips them harder, a wide grin overtaking his stupid face. “I’m not the one who’s been crying, you know.”

“Wang Yibo! Are you human? I’ve had a very, uh, traumatic year!” He struggles against the hold, desperately trying not to smile, as if Yibo can’t feel his elation loud and clear, wide open as he’s been since coming on stage. “And now, in this highly emotional moment, you mock me, you heartless dick.”

Yibo finally releases his hands only to put his own palms on Xiao Zhan’s neck, which shuts him up embarrassingly fast. But so what? Yibo’s hands are big and warm, and the look in his eyes suddenly has a determined edge. “I’m the only one allowed to mock you. You have to sue anyone else who tries, on Weibo and otherwise, okay?”

“Gonna sue you too,” Xiao Zhan mutters just to be contrary.

“Who’s gonna buy you food then?”

“With all your money, I’ll have a personal chief following me around.”

“Good luck to him trying to get you to eat anything.”

Instead of admitting Yibo’s got a point, Xiao Zhan leans forwards and kisses him. Mindful of make up and the meticulously pressed clothes, he doesn’t push too much, but still allows his hands to slide around Yibo’s waist under the sparkly jacket. Yibo leans into it, eager as always, his tongue darting forward teasingly, making Xiao Zhan chase him. It’s already more than is advisable before going on stage, so he doesn’t draw it out for too long.

“So I take it you aren’t suing me?” Yibo says as soon as he catches his breath.

Xiao Zhan rolls his eyes. “Pest.” He kisses Yibo one more time, just a quick press of lips before stepping away and sitting down on a small couch the dressing room offers, Yibo not far behind him.

Already he is much more centred, like the tiny sun exploding in his chest isn’t going to overwhelm him as much or spill into Yibo through the bond. Though still somewhat shaken, he doesn’t feel as raw as before.

Soon their teams, thoughtful enough to give them some space, will return, probably with a change of outfits already. They’ll have to film douyins for future release, do photoshoots, get back on stage, talk to all the important executives in attendance. Later, there will be more evenings like this, more shows, more everything. There are a few endorsements almost ready to be announced, dramas to be released. More lawsuits too.

But after what he just saw out there, Xiao Zhan is more than ready to face it all.

It’s time to show everyone, the supporters and the antis alike, that’s he’s back to take his rightful place.

***

Legend of Fei starts airing in December and by January the internet is crazy about Xie Yun, as expected. Xiao Zhan doesn’t have time to watch all of it, but he does catch as many episodes as he can, not to mention all the highlights that never stop trending on Weibo. He genuinely thinks Yibo’s done a good job and has made sure to praise him accordingly. What Xiao Zhan likes the most, however, is all the teasing Xie Yun has opened the door for.

“Wooow, how cute!” Xiao Zhan says excitedly, glancing across the table.

Yibo is still on his phone, probably finishing his work thing. They technically have a few days off now, after the hectic New Year’s concerts, but it doesn’t mean there’s no work at all. Xiao Zhan himself has just finished a phone call with his manager and went on Weibo to entertain himself while waiting for Yibo to be done.

He still tries to avoid social media as much as possible, even if things are much better now, but a new batch of episodes had come out yesterday and it was too tempting not to check out. Xie Yun did not disappoint, prancing about, twirling his hair and shying away from Zhou Fei, proclaiming he would not sell his body.

Xiao Zhan laughs out loud and shoves his phone in Yibo’s face. “This is adorable!”

Yibo swats the phone away, “I was there, Zhan-ge, I don’t need to see it.”

“But Yunyun is the cutest! Look at him, woah, such a charming smile. All the netizens are in love with him!”

“Are you?” Yibo levels him with a very familiar glare.

“Aw, xiao Bo, no need to get jealous,” Xiao Zhan lays it on thick just for the fun of it, “you know he’s not my favourite.”

It makes Yibo lower his phone, a smug expression ready to settle on his face. “Yeah?”

Really, he’s just too easy sometimes.

Xiao Zhan grins. “Of course I like Lan Zhan the most!”

Yibo silently flips him off and demonstratively leaves the kitchen to sit himself on the couch.

But he seems to be done with work, judging from his phone left on the table, which was kind of the point. Xiao Zhan laughs to himself and follows him, ready to do penance. He sits on the floor in front of Yibo and crosses his legs.

“Ah, Yibo-ge, I was wrong.”

Yibo just takes the nearest script from the coffee table and buries his face in it. It’s not even his, it’s Xiao Zhan’s for A Dream Like A Dream, already full of notes and stickers.

“Yibo-ge. ”

No reaction.

“I was just kidding. I like Wang Yibo the best.”

The script is lowered just enough to show two extremely sceptical eyebrows.

“I mean, have you seen him? He sings, acts, skates, races motorcycles and my god does he dance. Wow, so impressive, so good!”

“And handsome?”

“Handsome, so handsome,” Xiao Zhan nods eagerly, which earns him an unobstructed view of Yibo’s face. It’s hard not to giggle from how ridiculous this is. Half of China can’t shut up about his handsomeness, yet Yibo is bursting with smugness so intense it fills both their chests thanks to the bond, just because Xiao Zhan is coaxing him.

Soaring with satisfaction his heart may be, but his face remains impassive, so Xiao Zhan’s job isn’t done yet.

“How can he not be, with a face so small? And lips so pretty. And cheeks so squishy.” Yibo frowns in displeasure, but before the script can fly up to cover his face again, Xiao Zhan hastily adds, “Which is to say he is full of youthful charm that’s so irresistible to us geges!”

When that doesn’t work, Xiao Zhan blinks up innocently. “And he’s got a big dick. He’s a full package, if you will.” It makes Yibo crack, his lips twisting upwards. Perfect time for Xiao Zhan to get up slowly, as if he intends to go. “Alas,” he sighs ruefully, “the one thing my Bo-ge isn’t is merciful. I suppose I have no choice but to go lie down in the bedroom, alone, to think long and hard about my sins.”

Predictably, Yibo grabs his wrist, and Xiao Zhan lets himself be tugged down to the couch to half-sprawl in Yibo’s lap.

“I can be merciful,” Yibo crowds even closer and bestows on Xiao Zhan his particular brand of mercy until they’re both breathless.

Xiao Zhan draws back for air and tries not to smile too much at getting what he wanted. Make-outs on the couch are definitely better than waiting for Yibo to finish his work.

“Wah, you’re right, merciful, too. Wang Yibo truly is a perfect man,” he gushes. It’s tempting to tease him further but they only have a few days to be home, and getting laid kind of takes precedent over teasing, so Xiao Zhan sneaks a hand under Yibo’s hoodie and palms his abs.

“Shut up,” Yibo says, but he leans into the touch and presses a smile agains Xiao Zhan’s jaw.

“Okay,” Xiao Zhan agrees easily and pulls him into another kiss.

After all, he can just spam Yibo with Xie Yun gifs when another episode comes out and there isn’t a possibility of missing out on sex as a consequence.

***

A violent sneeze shakes Xiao Zhan’s whole body and he stares into the bathroom mirror dejectedly. His reflection blinks at him, equally displeased.

He doesn’t look or feel sick, but even a hint of it is more than he is ready to face right now.

Today has been a goddamn ordeal. First, his morning call with Huanhuan got interrupted and he had to say goodbye earlier than expected to have a charming discussion with his lawyer about a new lawsuit. Then a photoshoot ran over, almost making him late for his flight. Then, of course, there was a crowd waiting for him upon landing despite his very clear stance on any kind of airport gatherings.

A long meeting with a potential new endorsement brand and a wicked traffic jam later, Xiao Zhan is tired of keeping his irritation on a tight leash. Today wasn’t outright bad, but there are days like this that leave him tired of all the noise and make everything get on his nerves. All he wants to do now is get into bed and sleep, maybe read for a while before conking out. 

It’s not on the cards though. Yibo being punctual to fault, the phone rings at nine thirty sharp.

For a second, Xiao Zhan contemplates not picking up. He could send a quick message about being too tired and Yibo would understand, no questions asked.

But Yibo’s new director has been adamant about isolating him as much as possible to get him into the right headspace. And while it’s nothing he can’t handle and is a small price to pay for working with the likes of Tony Leung, it’s been tough on Yibo. He’s not used to sitting still, alone, without the distraction of video games or his phone or skateboard. Yibo doesn’t really get stressed often, but filming Wu Ming has already become an exception.

Heeding the director’s advice to keep any connection to the outside world to a minimum, they haven’t been talking much lately. Xiao Zhan would probably regret missing the opportunity now, no matter what day he’s had. 

So he sits down on the bed and accepts the video call.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Yibo echoes. He’s already under the covers. A bedside lamp bathes his face in a warm light as he takes in Xiao Zhan’s. “Wow, someone’s in a bad mood.”

The long-simmering irritation finally flares up and makes Xiao Zhan snap vehemently, “Why? Am I always supposed to be in a good mood?”

Yibo is visibly thrown, probably overcome by Xiao Zhan’s outburst through the bond as well. Xiao Zhan sighs, looks up at the ceiling for a long few seconds and makes himself exhale.

“Sorry,” he says, “long day.”

Usually this would be the time for Yibo to pretend to be mortally offended so Xiao Zhan would coax him and get out of his funk in the process, but Yibo just asks, “Want to talk about it?”

There’s tension in the furrow between his eyebrows and his eyes look tired. Well, fuck.

“No, it’s nothing important. How was your day?” It comes out overly formal and makes Xiao Zhan want to start this conversation over.

“Good. But not, um, easy,” Yibo answers, scratching his cheek. “But I’ll tell you later, don’t really want to talk about it now either.”

Something in Xiao Zhan unclenches and he huffs out a laugh, leaning back against the headboard. “Aren’t we a pair today. I really am sorry for snapping at you, Yibo-ge. I probably should’ve cancelled the call altogether.”

Except now that Yibo’s face is front of him, he doesn’t want to hang up at all, even if he’s still not in the mood to talk.

Yibo’s pouting now, obviously displeased at the thought of cancelling the call. “Well, what would you be doing if you did?”

“Dunno, read probably.”

“So read to me.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, why not?” Yibo shrugs, and as he does, the last of the tension between them dissipates.

Xiao Zhan is once again grateful for the way they met. That summer they had to learn quickly how to manage each other’s tempers, forced to coexist all day every day. That skill then came in handy in the tumultuous months after A’Ling’s airing when they didn’t really have time to even sleep and still managed to stay together. It continues being handy now too.

He gets a book from his suitcase, turns the main lights off and gets under the covers, holding the phone so Yibo can still see him.

“It’s nothing new, sorry. I’ve been wanting to reread it for a while,” he says, holding up the little book in front of the screen for Yibo to see the cover.

It’s true, he’s even taken it with him this time. Thankfully, it’s small enough not to take up too much precious luggage space.

“Nothing wrong with the classics,” Yibo replies softly, eyes half-shut in a pleased smile. He’s propped his own phone sideways, close enough to see his head on the pillow and the barest hint of shoulders under the blanket.

Xiao Zhan feels a small pang of longing at the cosy sight, momentary wishing to be there with him. He’d run a hand over those shoulders and maybe pet Yibo’s hair until he lost all traces of a fulfilling but stressful day of work.

But he can’t for a few more days, so he just gets comfortable, makes sure there’s enough light from the nearby lamp and prepares to start. A cursory glance at the screen makes him pause however, because Yibo’s making a face.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Yibo says, burrowing further into the pillow, “just missed seeing you in glasses. So many ads of Xiao-laoshi everywhere, but nothing beats you in glasses.”

Xiao Zhan rolls his eyes. “You’re looking at the wrong ads then. Try Molsion next time.”

“No, it’s not the same.”

“Oh my god, can we please start?”

Yibo nods eagerly, “Yes please.”

So Xiao Zhan opens the first page and starts reading “The Little Prince”. The words are familiar and well-loved, flying from his lips easily. For a long while he gets lost in deserts and lambs, baobabs and broken planes, sunsets and lonely boys.

“Once he asked a question, the little prince never let the matter drop…” Xiao Zhan stops and glances at Yibo, half-expecting to find him asleep already. But Yibo is wide awake, looking like he knows exactly why Xiao Zhan’s decided to check on him. “… I was exasperated—”

“Now you’re just being mean, Zhan-ge,” Yibo interrupts with a huge grin.

“No I’m not, I’m just reading what’s written here,” he waves the book gleefully. “But if I was, it’d be because the whole internet has evidence of my xiǎo Wáng zǐ being stubborn. ‘Zhan-ge, what did you eat today? What did you eat today, Zhan-ge?’” he parodies.

Yibo waves a hand. “Whatever, I get to be the Little Prince in this scenario, so it’s good enough for me.”

Xiao Zhan huffs, but continues without any further comment. They get through quite a few more chapters, but eventually his eyelids start drooping and tongue stumbling. He carefully lays the book on the nightstand, drinks some water to soothe his parched throat and, turning the last lamp off, finally lies all the way down.

Yibo is half-asleep by now, but his eyes are carefully studying Xiao Zhan’s face. “Don’t be sad, Zhan-ge,” he says, “I’ll get you a beautiful thorny rose to love, okay?”

“I’m not sad.”

“Hmm.” Yibo closes his eyes, and for a few moments Xiao Zhan thinks he’s fallen asleep, but then Yibo blinks. “Okay, really not sad.”

Ah, so he was just listening then. Come to think of it, both their heartbeats are calm and quiet right now, barely noticeable. Xiao Zhan cherishes the calm that has come over him in the evening, making the whole annoying day seem far away. Yibo is much more relaxed too, which is an even bigger relief.

“Really,” he confirms, looking at the face that somehow contains the best of the prince, the rose, the fox and the whole night sky full of stars and distant planets. “I think I’d rather see a sunrise than a sunset, you know.”

Yibo looks like he very much does. “Would be nice to see forty-four of them in one day.”

Xiao Zhan smiles and smothers a yawn into the pillow. “Let’s just get home and try not to miss one.”

“‘kay, in five days then.”

“Five days. Alright, sleep time, I’m about to pass out.”

“Mn, g’night, Zhan-ge.”

“Good night, Lao Wang.”

***

People often use the expression with a heavy heart, and right now Xiao Zhan understands exactly what they mean by it. 

It almost physically drags him down, making every step harder that it should be. He would much prefer if it was his own heart doing this instead of Yibo’s but he doesn’t exactly have a choice.

At the very least it’s beating steadily, which is… some kind of consolation against the heaviness that’s been flickering in and out all day, like Yibo periodically remembered just how much he was pouring out and automatically tried shielding Xiao Zhan from it. Good thing Xiao Zhan had taken care to warn him beforehand to not do that, throwing in threats of bodily harm just in case.

He was always going to share in what Yibo had to go through today of all days.

Strictly speaking, it’s not even today anymore, that’s how late in the night it is. But there’s nothing to be done about this either, is there?

The elevator is fast and smooth as it always is, the floor numbers steadily increase with no interruptions from anyone.

Xiao Zhan can’t help but think this might be the last time he goes up in this elevator. It’s a weird thought, too nostalgic for his liking. But Yibo’s Changsha apartment has housed him so many times, both with and without its owner, that it’s become familiar and comfortable over the years.

The bodyguards escort him right to the door, not taking any chances even in the completely empty hall, and Xiao Zhan thanks them profusely before saying goodbye and taking out his key.

Yibo might not even be here yet, still out on the last hooray with his Tian Tian brothers. Before opening the door, Xiao Zhan tries to listen beyond the general misery radiating from Yibo and, there, his steady heartbeat isn’t far away. The trick they learned way back on set is still useful.

With a sigh, Xiao Zhan finally opens the door.

“Yibo?” he calls out to announce his presence.

“In here,” comes the quiet reply from the bedroom.

Xiao Zhan takes care of his shoes and jacket, and diligently washes his hands in the bathroom before going to Yibo.

The sight that greets him is, there’s no way around it, sad.

Yibo is curled up on the bed, wrapped in a thin but fluffy blanket that’s older than their relationship. It was a housewarming gift from Qian Feng when Yibo just started regularly staying in Changsha. Funny how these things come to mind at the most unfortunate moments.

The light from the TV is bright on his face, but not overly so with a nightlight on Xiao Zhan’s side of the bed softening it. With most people, Xiao Zhan would maybe expect to find an old episode of Tian Tian Xiang Shang playing on the screen, but Yibo isn’t the type to purposefully deepen his misery. Sure enough, a quick glance confirms it’s just a motorcycle race, the sound on one of the lowest settings.

“Hey,” Xiao Zhan says evenly, reluctant to break the almost-silence that fills the room.

“Hey,” Yibo echos. His face is mostly blank, but not in a purposeful sort of way, more like he’s too exhausted to make it do anything.

Coming closer, Xiao Zhan sees the ever so slightly puffy eyes and, yeah. Earlier in the evening, the steady heartbeat gave way to what was unmistakably crying. Xiao Zhan was finishing work then, still a few hours before his flight, and had to consciously unclench his fists and tell himself not to call Yibo right that second.

“Is it okay for you to be here? You’re not in trouble?” Yibo asks, watching as Xiao Zhan deposits the backpack he brought with him on the floor and rummages through it.

“I have a half-day tomorrow, I’ll just fly back in the morning, it’s fine.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Distractedly taking out the charging cable and making sure his phone is plugged in for the night, Xiao Zhan frowns.

What a stupid thing to thank him for.

He couldn’t get here last October after the ZIC race and never forgot just how awful it felt, both in a sense that he couldn’t physically be there for Yibo and had nothing to hold onto to stop his own hands from shaking.

The race was a mess, its aftermath even more so. Xiao Zhan had never been so scared as when Yibo rolled on the ground like a doll, thrown from the bike going hundreds miles per hour. Even with two heartbeats in his chest, he didn’t dare to breathe in the seconds before Yibo picked himself up and got on his feet.

The sheer loudness that came after was overwhelming. Yibo’s devastation and anger, other people’s bullshit, friends and family that needed reassurance, Xiao Zhan had to deal with all of that from a filming set he was unable to get away from, all on top of his own anxiety.

He finally understood the profound helplessness and frustration Yibo must’ve felt when the 2020 incident had hit Xiao Zhan.

Right then and there, he promised himself to avoid that feeling at all cost.

Today isn’t exactly like that. Filming the last episode of Tian Tian Xiang Shang is different from losing a race due to some asshole’s interference. It’s not a surprise, for one. Xiao Zhan’s been able to plan this visit. Even if Yibo ended up spending the whole night out, they’d still have the morning. It wouldn’t be much, but enough for Xiao Zhan to give Yibo a sense of something permanent and unshakable in the face of everything he’d be saying goodbye to today.

Yibo tried arguing, saying it wasn’t worth all the fuss, saying it wasn’t the end of the world.

And of course it isn’t. Just the end of a five-year-old career as a host that has allowed him to grow into who he is today. Yibo doesn’t usually have trouble letting things go, not if he understands the need for it, but this is a lot to let go of.

Good thing he ignored Yibo’s protests and came anyway.

Xiao Zhan climbs on the bed, sits with his back against the headboard and tries his best to look like a human-shaped pillow. It doesn’t take long for Yibo to inch closer, lift the blanket and tuck himself into Xiao Zhan’s side. Given how much he’s balked up lately, it’s a surprisingly snuggly fit. Then again, his inherent didiness usually does come out in full force in Changsha, so maybe it’s to be expected.

In any case, Xiao Zhan settles the blanket around both of them and holds Yibo tight.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yeah,” Yibo says into Xiao Zhan’s collarbone, “Han-ge cooked for us.”

“Must’ve been good.”

“The best. He made us sweet and sour pork ribs. Da-laoshi almost burst into tears at the sight.”

Xiao Zhan chuckles. He’s pretty sure Da-laoshi wasn’t the only one. “Good thing it’s not the last time you get to eat them.”

“I guess.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Yibo just shakes his head, hair tickling Xiao Zhan’s chin.

“All right.”

Xiao Zhan doesn’t want to push, wouldn’t even if Yibo didn’t say a single word for the rest of the night. But judging by the heaviness still pressing down both their chests, he doesn’t think that’s going to be the case.

He’s proven right when, after a few minutes of silence, Yibo stirs and starts talking. “I know it wasn’t… feasible for me to continue to stay. The company’s been saying it for years now, but every time it came up all I could think was not yet.”

Yibo staying with TTXS for as long as he has is a testament to his stubbornness and loyalty. By 2020 his fame had already reached a level that made being a host unnecessary, never mind troublesome with how little time he had on his hands.

“You held out for a long time, no one could ask for more,” Xiao Zhan murmurs into Yibo’s hair.

“Han-ge talked to me about it once. Said to come to him if it ever got to be too much. That, contract or not, we’d figure something out,” Yibo continues, which, huh. Xiao Zhan never knew about that, but it does sound like something Wang Han would do. “But I didn’t want to leave just because I made it big. It would’ve been… dishonest. Wrong.”

Yibo is incredibly good with the business side of their profession. He knows how the industry works, knows the best ways to navigate it, understands what it takes to not only stay in this field, but to get to the top as well.

Even with all that, of course he’d still think about the situation from this point of view. He is a person who feels very deeply, and once he’s in — he’s in, giving it all the loyalty his lion heart is capable of. He doesn’t just consider these things with business in mind.

Still. “It’s not the main reason you stayed though, is it?”

Yibo chuckles. “Nothing can be hidden from Xiao-laoshi.” But this brief spark of mirth doesn’t last, and barely a second later he’s already shaking his head and saying, “I just didn’t want to leave them. I loved being there.”

That’s the crux of. Yibo’s worldview was one of the first things that attracted Xiao Zhan back when they were getting to know each other. It is mad in its simplicity and pure unlike most things Xiao Zhan’s encountered in this industry: Yibo finds what he likes and holds on to it. 

He had fallen in love with dancing at an early age and made a career out of it. Motorcycles had first captivated him years ago, and he’s yet to lose his drive — pun intended — even after a few instances of failure. He loves building Legos and finds time to do it even with his busy schedule. He keeps his Uniq family close to heart, no matter the time or distance. He’s found Xiao Zhan and done everything in his power to make their relationship work even in the most tumultuous of times.

And yes, he had imprinted on his Tian Tian brothers, and no mere inconveniences like additional travel almost every week or lack of time and energy could stop him from continuing to come back to Changsha.

“Yibo-ge,” Xiao Zhan finally says, squeezing his shoulder in a show of support, but before he can add anything else, Yibo interrupts.

“After Feng-ge left, it was only a matter of time, we all knew it, with what was, still is, happening in the industry. I just… always thought that when I left, they’d still be there. But now it’s all of us except for Han-ge, and it feels like it’s all ending, not just my time there.”

Xiao Zhan could tell him that everything must eventually end. That change itself isn’t necessary bad, that endings are, in truth, new beginnings. And other bullshit that may not be a lie but definitely never helps anyone in moments like this.

“How’s Wang Han doing?” Xiao Zhan asks instead. It is always more painful to be the one left behind after all.

“He tried to cheer us up, said he’ll be fine, but.” Yibo’s grip on Xiao Zhan’s side tightens for a moment before his hand shifts to touch his collar.

Xiao Zhan glances down and sees Yibo’s fingers wrap around his blue cord necklace, identical to Wang Han’s in everything but colour.

“So you’re gonna pester him a lot in the next few weeks?” Xiao Zhan asks, trying for levity to cover for the way his heart is squeezing in sympathy. Yibo must surely feel it, which isn’t great. Xiao Zhan’s job here isn’t to add more fuel to the emotional fire. But they have a deal about not blocking themselves from each other in situations like this, so.

In any case, Yibo simply chuckles and lets go of the necklace. “That’s the plan, yeah. He’s gonna get tired of me real fast.”

Xiao Zhan shakes his head and takes Yibo hand. “I don’t think it’s possible with Wang Han.” His thumb brushes over the heavy ring Yibo’s wearing, like all Tian Tian brothers do during recording.

Yibo notices and lets out another sound that is probably meant to be humorous but comes out rather grim. “Gonna put it with your red ribbon back home. A nice little shrine to what we had to leave behind in order to move forward.”

That’s just wrong. He won’t stand for bitterness and self-mockery in Yibo’s voice. Xiao Zhan pushes him away to look him in the eye properly. 

Not bothering with gentleness, Xiao Zhan says as directly as possible, “Bullshit. We don’t simply leave it behind, not in the way you meant just now. Yes, it’s necessary to move forward, but we carry it with us, always. Do you remember how I was about Wei Ying? Of course it couldn’t continue, but he’s still here,” Xiao Zhan gestures at his own chest. “He was my first thought when I realised what was happening during 227 shitstorm. He’s here when people are being loud and stupid and I need to get over it. He’s here when I need to stick to what I believe in. The ribbon and this,” he squeezes the ring warmed by Yibo’s skin, “aren’t some relics of the past we come back to when we want to feel sad. They are what shaped us into who we are today.”

Yibo watches him with eyes that are getting more glassy by the second. But he’s also listening, so Xiao Zhan soldiers on. “The show has given you so much, and none of it is going anywhere. You’ll always be the Yibo who grew up under the influence of three insane geges. Well, Wang Han and two insane geges.”

A few tears finally spill down Yibo’s cheeks. It’s not the kind of crying Xiao Zhan felt from him earlier today, but it’s still painful to watch.

“Han-ge told me today he’s proud of the way I’ve grown up.” His mouth twists into a grimace as he wipes the tears away. “Did you know, a few years ago I couldn’t go home on the Mid-Autumn Festival. I just planned to crash in the evening and play video games, but Han-ge dragged me to his home, and I ended up celebrating with his family.”

“Sounds like him.”

“He’s given me advice about us too. The soulmate stuff, I mean. He’s been through a lot with Lele, so he knows what he’s talking about. It helped me a lot, especially at the beginning when we were figuring it out.”

“I did think you were almost too good at it right from the start!” Xiao Zhan exclaims, fake indignant. 

“No, it was still mostly me,” Yibo answers, and his smile this time comes out more like the real thing than a grimace.

As he talks, the heaviness that’s been pressing on them both for hours starts — not to lift, exactly, it’s too early for that — but it allows some warmth to trickle down as well, squeezing his heart with  a painful sort of affection.

So Xiao Zhan urges him on, “What else?”

“One time I got drunk with Da-laoshi and Feng-ge, like, totally shit-faced, and we all woke up in a hotel room with a huge cutout of Han-ge and a stray cat. None of us knew where they’d come from, but at least we found someone to adopt the cat.”

And, “Once Da-laoshi and I decided to cook a few dishes for Han-ge’s birthday, and it was so bad. He was almost as hopeless as me. Han-ge took one look at it and said he couldn’t be so rude as to eat alone, and we had to choke down everything. But he did eat with us, so it was almost worth it. And then Feng-ge came along with actual good food, but we were too full to eat it.”

And, “Da-laoshi told me about his father and how much he’s done for him, and we both almost cried eating dajiangbing.”

And, “They told me to compete with the kid, and didn’t care at all when I lost miserably. But he was a swimming machine, I swear, it almost didn’t make it embarrassing.”

And, “We called it ‘The More Pondering Band’. Like, the more you think about it, the more you have to ponder. I wanted to be the drummer but ended up on the bass. It was fine though, we still looked cool.”

And, “One time a composer came to the show, and he could create melodies based on our date of birth. It was beautiful, I’ll show you a clip later, he was super talented.”

And, “They could touch them! Actual, real life leopard cubs, and all I could do was stare at the screen. I’d never been so jealous before in my entire life. But at least Han-ge arranged Changsha’s rice noodles to be delivered to my hotel room.”

He talks and talks and talks. Some of it Xiao Zhan already knows, some is new to him, but he never interrupts and only hums at appropriate times.

Finally, the words seem to stop, and the tears too, and Yibo sits there, red-nosed, wide-eyed, restless. 

“There’s so much of it,” he says. “It’s been with me when I had nothing. And when I was finally getting somewhere. And then when I made it and found it no less difficult. It’s been my one constant this whole time.”

Yibo’s heart hurts, the ache bittersweet and overwhelming. Xiao Zhan reaches out and places his palm over it, as if somehow able to sooth it with a mere touch. Yibo leans into it, and Xiao Zhan draws him in for a hug again, kissing his forehead in passing.

Yibo goes willingly, murmuring, “I’m just really grateful for it.”

“Did you tell them that?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you have nothing to regret.”

Xiao Zhan knows Yibo is aware of the advantages of leaving Tian Tian Xiang Shang. It gives him more time to focus on acting projects, which is almost a necessity with his recent switch to movie roles, time to actually relax and come home more often. These are obvious pros, ones Yibo will appreciate, but today he needs to feel the loss and come to terms with it.

So Xiao Zhan doesn’t offer any more words of consolation, doesn’t coax any more confessions and memories of him. It must’ve been exhausting to get it all out as it is. With that in mind, Xiao Zhan eventually moves his head back to look into Yibo’s tired eyes. 

“How about I make us some tea and then we go to bed?”

As if on cue, Yibo yawns. 

Xiao Zhan snorts and hops off the bed without waiting for any other response.

“I could make it myself, you know, I’m not that tired,” Yibo grumbles but follows him to the kitchen anyway.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to. I’m here.”

He may not stop Yibo’s sadness this evening or make him miss his Tian Tian brothers any less in the weeks and months to come, but at the very least he’s here. It has to count for something.

Judging by a grateful thump in his chest, it does.

***

“… and tell Yibo the massage chair he got us is just divine. I already sent him a message, of course, but tell him again! That boy of yours is so good, you need to say it more often.”

“If I praise him more often his head will get even bigger and then no one will want him to endorse their products. Where will you get massage chairs then?”

“Stop sprouting nonsense, Zhanzhan. You got really lucky with him, you know.”

“I know, I know, ma, okay?”

Xiao Zhan shakes his head and makes sure to move the phone away so his mom doesn’t hear the sigh that escapes him.

Yibo just has to be perfect in his son-in-law mode, the jerk.

And to think he was a nervous wreck the first time Xiao Zhan brought him home to Chongqing. He  didn’t say that per se, but the what if they don’t like me was written all over his face. Totally unnecessary, of course. He started the evening adorably shy and overly respectful, but then proceeded to charm them so completely that by the end of it Xiao Zhan’s mom was plowing Yibo with more food than he could possibly eat and pointedly saying how nice it was to finally be allowed to meet him.

It was her favourite dig at the time because Xiao Zhan hadn’t told his parents about Yibo at first. Well, he told them about the soulmate part which had already gotten them plenty excited, but the boyfriend angle he deliberately concealed for a while. It had been new and a little uncertain, and he had wanted to keep it for himself.

But then his mom’s semi constant relationship talk had become too much, and the longer he and Yibo had made it — miraculously, wonderfully — work, the more dishonest the standard answer about relationships being career suicide had started to seem. No that it had been a complete lie. Being with Yibo is, to this day, a threat to both their careers. It’s just that Yibo is worth it.

So Xiao Zhan had finally told his parents, admitting that it’d been going on for a while. His mom had confidently stated that she had absolutely known something had been going on with “that boy”, and her interest in Yibo, already alarmingly high, had skyrocketed. But it had been his father to finally put the foot down and say that meeting Xiao Zhan’s soulmate and boyfriend had been of utmost importance.

Long story short, they all had a very nice evening during which Xiao Zhan watched his parents speed-fall in love with Yibo and become convinced he was “serious about Zhanzhan”, “incredibly mature for his young age” and “a sweet boy”.

Fast forward three years, his mom now sends Yibo pictures of Jianguo faster than to Xiao Zhan,  gives him home cooked meals when possible, diligently watches everything with Yibo in it and constantly reminds Xiao Zhan to be good to his soulmate.

That last one would’ve been irritating, just the tiniest bit, if he didn’t know how lucky he is to have such understanding and accepting parents.

“Zhanzhan?”

His mother’s call brings him back to their conversation.

“Sorry, I spaced out, I guess I’m a bit tired. Do you mind if I hang up now? We are about to head home.”

“Ah, of course! Take care of yourself, go rest. And don’t forget to thank Yibo for me.”

“How can I,” he chuckles ruefully. “Alright, I’m going. I’ll call you when I have time, okay?”

“Okay. Have a good evening, Zhanzhan.”

“You too, bye!”

Xiao Zhan ends the call and stretches his arms up, twisting to the left and then to the right. He really is kinda tired and ready to go home, even if the day was mostly spent here, in XZ studio offices, shooting a couple of promotional videos, a new vlog, and planning for the next few weeks. Not a difficult day but not the most exciting either. The best thing about it is the prospect of getting home before five.

We’re ready to go, he messages Lele.

The response comes almost immediately, 10 mins, laoban.

Xiao Zhan pockets the phone, grinning. The days of having no team of his own are far behind him and he has more than enough bodyguards now, but Lele and Yanyan are almost like family at this point and having them around is always a pleasure. Since Xiao Zhan and Yibo are just going home after this, there’s no need for his own bodyguards right now.

He exits the small room he escaped to to take the call from his mother and steps out into the hall. There are muffled sounds coming from the big room he left Yibo and his team in. As he gets closer, the sound gets louder, until there’s a big eruption of cheers and defeated groans.

Peeking in, he discovers his team in various stages of excitement, a smug Yibo and a toppled tower of wooden bricks from that Jenga game they brought in for today’s vlog.

“Shouldn’t you guys know better than to play against him?” Xiao Zhan says, walking in.

Yibo smirks. “They never learn.”

“Wang-laoshi is just too good,” they grumble.

Xiao Zhan snorts and comes to stand behind Yibo, resting his forearms on Yibo’s head. A quick survey of the table confirms that other games are already packed up and neatly stacked. Honestly, he thought everyone else would be gone by now, but maybe they didn’t want to leave Yibo waiting alone. His guys are sweet like that. 

Still, “Serves you right for making me jump through hoops for the vlog. Great job, baobao.” He offers Yibo his palm and promptly gets the high five he was aiming for. “I texted Lele, he’ll pick us up in ten,” he says and then turns to his team, adding, “you guys should get going too, no need to wait with us.”

“We’re going out tonight, wanna come with?”

“Nah,” Yibo pipes in immediately, insufferably smug, “Zhan-ge promised to cook for me.”

“What he means is,” Xiao Zhan says, pressing his forearms on Yibo’s head, but Yibo just sits up straighter like the stubborn asshole he is, “thank you for the invitation. Although I don’t know what you,” another push down by Xiao Zhan and another quick straightening up of Yibo’s spine, “are so excited about. You’ll be the one washing the dishes.”

“Absolutely worth it if it’s for Zhan-ge’s cooking.” Yibo manages to look up without dislodging Xiao Zhan’s forearms from his head.

Looking down, Xiao Zhan raises an eyebrow. “You sure? I’ll have to use so many pots, you know, and bowls, and pans…”

“All these years, yet you still doubt me. I suppose it’s my fault, I’ll have to work harder to prove myself to Xiao-laoshi.”

“Noo, Wang-laoshi, you’re making me feel bad now, I shouldn’t have doubted your dish-washing abilities. You’ve had so much experience with it after all, between going to Korea and being a famous idol—”

“Now you’re just deliberately mocking me, I feel… attacked, almost.”

There’s a loud sigh followed by an exasperated, “We’ll be going now, laoban.”

Almost startled, Xiao Zhan looks away from Yibo’s dramatically hurt face. His team looks long-suffering but no more than usual. They’ve had a lot of practice.

“Alright, thank you for your hard work today.” He waves, not feeling particularly guilty for making them a third wheel. “Have fun!”

They exchange final goodbyes and then Xiao Zhan and Yibo are the only ones left in the room.

“Ugh, look at the mess you’ve made,” Xiao Zhan walks around Yibo to pick up scattered Jenga pieces.

“It wasn’t actually me who toppled it,” Yibo says, smugness back in his voice, but at least he starts gathering the bricks too.

“You and your competitive streak.”

“Gotta keep your people in check so they do a good job taking care of you while I’m not around.”

“Oh, is that what their job is?”

“Duh, obviously.”

“Wang Yibo, you are unbelievable.”

“But in a good way, right?”

Putting the lid on the box, Xiao Zhan turns around, leans on the table and makes sure to look the still sitting Yibo dead in the eye. “No.”

“Zhan-ge!”

He just raises an eyebrow.

“Zhan-ge is cruel, he doesn’t like me anymore, only bullies me!”

“I’ve been bullying you from the start.”

Yibo theatrically gasps. “So you never liked me!”

“That’s right!.”

To prevent further protests, Xiao Zhan leans down and shuts him up with a kiss. Yibo doesn’t even pretend to not get with the program, but soon makes any kissing difficult by smiling too much against Xiao Zhan’s lips.

“Bully,” he says with a grin when they draw back.

Just for that, Xiao Zhan kicks him. “Aish shibal!”

“Not the shoes, Zhan-ge!” Yibo bends down immediately, making sure there are no marks.

It’s to be expected, given Yibo’s obsession with shoes. Not that Xiao Zhan has any right to judge him. Their combined collection at home is getting kind of ridiculously extensive. It’s a problem.

“Sorry, sorry, my fault. I was wrong, Lao Wang.”

Another quick kiss — and the fact that the shoes have remained spotless — seems to mollify him. When Xiao Zhan straightens up again, Yibo asks, “Hey, is your mom okay? You were talking to her for a while.”

“No, it’s fine, I guess I’ve been busy lately and just haven’t called her all that much. But since you asked, I think she’s the one suffering the most from your departure from Tian Tian Xiang Shang.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yeah. ‘I don’t even know anymore if he’s eating properly, Zhanzhan!’” Xiao Zhan mimics his mom. “She was so used to seeing you every Sunday she’s going through a withdrawal.”

TTXS isn’t as touchy a subject as it was a few months ago. Yibo seems to have come to terms with how things went. Although, the New Year’s concert being just a few weeks away, he’s already talked Xiao Zhan’s ear off about reuniting with Wang Han and Da Zhanwei, and even checked that his signature ring is in its place at home, ready to be worn when the time comes.

“Did you at least tell her I’m eating just fine?” Yibo asks, ears having gone pink.

He usually has one of the two reactions to her adoration of him: he is either shy and embarrassed or gleefully gets all up in Xiao Zhan’s face about it. Seems like today it’s the former.

“I did, otherwise she would already be on a plane to Beijing to fatten us both up. Also, she asked me to tell you that the massage chair is amazing and you are an excellent suck up.”

“… that’s how she put it, huh?”

“Word for word, I swear.” Xiao Zhan raises three fingers in the air in the best Wei Wuxian fashion.

Yibo takes the opportunity to poke him in the vulnerable ticklish side, making him contort in a sudden laughter, and then gets up from the chair. The subsequent brief scuffle ends with Xiao Zhan cornered against the table he’s leaning on, wrists in a tight grip.

“All this talk about sucking up, like you don’t have an active chat with my mom,” Yibo says, not in any hurry to loosen his hold.

“That’s neither here nor there,” Xiao Zhan answers haughtily. He tries to move his left wrist, but no dice. “Parents just love me, I can’t do anything about it.”

Yibo’s mouth shifts into a pout, soft and adorable, completely at odds with the grip of his hands. “‘Parents?’ Do you have any other parents you’re charming on the side?”

“Sure. You know, in all the free time that I have.”

Before either of them can say anything else, there’s a sharp knock on the door, accompanied by Lele’s familiar voice, “Laoban, we’re ready.” 

He doesn’t come in, having learned to be extra cautious after walking in on them making out a few times. They try to behave and be discreet, but sometimes, well. Today there isn’t anything to interrupt anyway. Probably. Maybe.

“Okay!” They both shout, and Xiao Zhan can’t help but smile at Yibo’s half-exasperated eye-roll. Lele was most likely referring to Yibo just now, but sometimes he does call Xiao Zhan laoban, which Yibo has been pretending to be annoyed by.

“Oh no, guess you’ll have to let me go, Bo-ge,” Xiao Zhan croons, tugging his wrists up once more, this time successfully.

“Can’t bullshit me, Zhan-ge,” Yibo grumbles, but steps away, “I can literally feel how excited you are.” He points at Xiao Zhan’s chest.

So sue him, who wouldn’t get excited with Yibo all pressed up against them. Xiao Zhan doesn’t even spare a moment to blame his traitorous heartbeat and merrily heads towards the door.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. Why don’t you explain it to me at home?”

Yibo catches up to him easily. “Sure, if you ask nicely. But first you have to cook for me, don’t try to get out of it!”

It’s Xiao Zhan’s turn to roll his eyes. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He’s about to reach for the door handle when Yibo stops abruptly. 

“Wait, the plane!” he says, looking around.

Right, the plane. Xiao Zhan’s kind of forgotten about it but trust Yibo to remember the silly stuff.

“It’s over there,” Xiao Zhan points to a big bag in the corner. “My guys packaged it for you and everything. You sure you really want to do this though?”

“Uh, yeah.” Yibo backtracks further into the room to get it. “Why wouldn’t I?” He sounds as sure as when he first saw the toy airplane from Xiao Zhan’s recent vlog and decided to use it for his New Year’s photoshoot (after he finished laughing at Xiao Zhan for failing to make it fly).

“A bit loud, no?”

“So?” He shrugs, grabbing the bag. “I’ll just make the picture black-and-white so the colour isn’t obvious.”

“Let me guess, only the airplane picture will be black-and-white? So inconspicuous.”

“Being inconspicuous is overrated.”

Of course it is, how silly of Xiao Zhan. Then again, he’s already agreed to this so what does he know. “You know what? Maybe it is.”

He grins and slaps Yibo’s ass just for the fun of it. Giving Yibo no time to retaliate, he immediately slips out of the door to where Lele is waiting.

Yibo will probably hold back on revenge until they are home. Once they are, however, all bets are off. Well, Xiao Zhan supposes he’ll just have to bear it.

It’s not like he’s doing this on purpose, right?

Snickering to himself, he throws a sly glance backwards and moves along, looking forward to the rest of the evening immensely.

***

“Okay, bye-bye, have a nice night.”

Xiao Zhan hangs up and for a minute stays where he is, mulling over the latest updates from his manager. Then he forcibly shakes himself. While his thoughts are mostly occupied with Where Dreams Begin these days, tonight is supposed to be work-free.

With that in mind, he leaves the bedroom and follows a suddenly loud sound of music to its source. He doesn’t step into the kitchen, just remains on the doorstep, amused by the sight in front of him.

Yibo is fighting with a huge bag of chips, trying to transfer its contents into a bowl without making a mess, all the while dancing and singing along to what is unmistakably one of Seungyoun’s songs. Xiao Zhan’s limited Korean doesn’t tell him what it’s about, but he does recognise a bit of English mixed in.

“Better and better and better,” Yibo belts out, but just then his enthusiastic shimmying causes a few chips to fly astray. Still in English, he curses, “Ah fuck!”

Chuckling to himself, Xiao Zhan steps in to help him pick up the chips. Yibo nods gratefully and presses a quick kiss to his cheek but doesn’t say anything, too absorbed in the music.

Xiao Zhan eyes another bag with a different flavour. It really isn’t good for him to eat too much of this stuff, but then again when if not tonight? Armed with this bulletproof logic, he fills another bowl and nods in satisfaction.

In the next chorus there’s another better and better and better, and Xiao Zhan joins in, bobbing his head in time with the beat. It’s a nice melody, cheerful and hopeful, an instant mood-setter.

“I take it Seungyoun’s new album is going well?” he asks when the song ends and Yibo hits pause.

“Yeah, it’s not done yet but should be ready and out by May. I get special privileges though,” Yibo grins, “Seungyoun sent this to me yesterday and I’m to give my honest unbiased opinion even if I ‘personally know the creative genius behind the song’.”

“Wow, hope you manage to stay impartial, Wang-laoshi.”

“I’ll do my best, Xiao-laoshi.”

Xiao Zhan cracks up at Yibo’s solemn face and laughing eyes. “In any case, tell him I like it.”

“‘kay.” Yibo grins with the satisfaction of a man who, upon introducing Xiao Zhan and Seungyoun for the first time, actually for real said you two have to get along or I’ll have no choice but to go away to the mountains forever and not talk to anyone ever again.

Luckily for him, they liked each other just fine despite a bit of language barrier. Not that you need to be on good terms with Seungyoun to appreciate his music. Xiao Zhan genuinely likes it and is actually looking forward to Yibo blasting the new album all over their apartment.

Ah.

Except that Yibo will probably still be away in May.

Determined not to get stuck on this, Xiao Zhan spurs into action. He grabs two bowls of chips and heads to the living room. “Come on, we gotta get everything ready—”

The coffee table in front of the TV set-up is ready: there’s a plate of duck necks next to a few packs of latiao, two soda cans line the other side of the table and, of course, a big bowl of sunflower seeds is front and centre.

Setting down the chips, Xiao Zhan turns to Yibo, eyebrows raised.

“What? I was being productive while you were dawdling.”

“Busy talking to my manager, you mean.”

Yibo shrugs. “Semantics.”

Xiao Zhan points at him in warning and advances, managing to land a few hits.

“Abuse!” Yibo hollers at the top of his lungs. “I get things done and this is my thanks??”

“Okay, okay, settle down, gouzaizai,” Xiao Zhan grins and grabs his face with both hands. Yibo’s cheeks are fuller than usual with all the mass he’s been gaining in preparation for the role of Lei Yu and bunch up delightfully as Xiao Zhan squishes them. 

Yibo tries to move back, but to no avail. 

“Thank you for doing everything, Bo-di.”

Xiao Zhan plants a light kiss on his forehead.

“So thoughtful.”

Now on the small mole near his eyebrow.

“Such a good baobao.”

On his nose.

“Whatever will I do while you go have your fun with planes and hot test pilots?”

Finally, a peck on his mouth, puckered as it is from still being squeezed in between Xiao Zhan’s palms.

Yibo shakes his head from side to side to free himself from the grip and says with the air of a disgruntled cat that’s been mishandled, “Miss me terribly and moan about it in sorrow every second of every day.”

“While also filming my drama?”

“Zhan-ge is super talented, I’m sure he can manage.”

“I’ll manage you,” Xiao Zhan bares his teeth at the usual over the top praise.

Bad idea, it just makes Yibo leer, “Wow, please do! Manage me, Xiao-laoshi!”

Xiao Zhan would like to hit him and leave the room, but unfortunately stupid is contagious. As soon as they make eye contact, he loses it.

“Why are you so stupid?” he manages to say in between his own giggles and Yibo’s gremlin laughter.

Without waiting for an answer, Xiao Zhan dives in for a kiss. It doesn’t work at first, both of them still grinning too hard, but after a few seconds Yibo gets into it, lets Xiao Zhan tilt his head and nip at his lower lip, responds in kind, turning it into an actual kiss.

Just as Xiao Zhan is about to deepen it, his back pocket vibrates. He has half a mind to ignore it, but it vibrates again, then a third time. 

Yibo slides his hand into the pocket, squeezes Xiao Zhan’s ass while he’s at it and then diligently fishes the phone out. Drawing back a little, he holds it so Xiao Zhan can read the messages.

They jolt him out of his Yibo-induced stupor. “Shit, come on, everyone’s waiting.”

He sits down on the couch but Yibo doesn’t follow him.

“Hold on, I gotta pee. Tell them not to start without me!” he says, walking backwards out of the room.

“Could’ve done it earlier,” Xiao Zhan grumbles as he connects to the video call.

He’s greeted with the sight of four faces in various stages of excitement.

“Took you long enough,” says one of them.

“Nice to see you too, Binbin.”

Yu Bin grins at the snarky reply, and Xiao Zhan can’t help but echo him. No matter how many years it’s been, talking to these guys is as easy and comfortable as it was that summer. Their group chat may be mostly silent nowadays, but they've managed to stay in touch as much as possible, which is nothing short of miraculous with the lives they lead. Then again, most things about that summer are pretty special.

“Don’t listen to him, Zhanzhan,” Xuan Lu smiles from another portion of the screen. “You’re not even the last one, we’re still waiting for Ji Li.”

“Still, thanks for the heads-up,” he waves his phone with the messages from her.

“Where’s Yibo?” Ziyi chimes in from the top left corner.

“He’ll be here in a sec.” Xiao Zhan means to ask how everyone’s been but gets distracted by a fluffy white cloud in Ziyi’s lap. “Yibo, hurry the fuck up, Ziyi’s got Chocolate!” he hollers instead.

Ziyi chuckles but helpfully moves her dog closer to the camera. “Say hi to everyone, baby.”

Of course this is exactly when Yibo finally skids around the corner, slippers loud on the floor in his hurry. He bends over the back of the couch to look at the screen. “Where? Hi, Chocolate! And you guys, I guess.”

When they are all done cooing — or more like when Chocolate has had enough — Xiao Zhan switches his attention to Zhuocheng. “Your turn to show off Danta,” he says half-jokingly, since the man never fails to do just that.

Zhuocheng’s face falls. “Don’t remind me. I’m filming right now, so I had to send her away to my parents.”

They grimace at each other, united in their separation from their cats by the injustices of life.

“Poor A-Cheng,” Xuan Lu laughs at him, only partly with compassion, because she doesn’t know their pain. “What are you filming?”

As they they start info dumping updates from their lives, Yibo moves as if he’s about to hop onto the couch, but Xiao Zhan stops him. “Beer!” he reminds, since they’ve gotten distracted from setting the table earlier.

Yibo changes direction immediately, his dancer reflexes making it look smooth and purposeful, and disappears into the kitchen. Xuan Lu is talking about a new dance she’s learning when he comes back armed with two bottles.

“Cool,” he says after she’s finished, “I’ve heard about this, Cheng Xiao did something similar once. Send me the link when it’s ready, okay?”

Lulu barely has time to nod before another icon pops up on screen.

“Heeeey,” Ji Li beams, obviously trying to look at everyone at once. “Sorry I’m late, I just got home.”

There’s a commotion of answering greetings. When it quiets down, Xiao Zhan directs a mock frown at Yu Bin. “Why isn’t he getting passive-aggressive comments on being late?”

Yu Bin replies right away, without needing even a second to think about it. “His hair is too fabulous these days to get too snarky with him.”

Yibo snorts. “He’s got you there.”

“Does he?” Xiao Zhan crosses his legs, conveniently kneeing Yibo in the shin at the same time. When there's a hint of protest at the abuse, he just squints and takes a sip of beer, silently daring Yibo to open his traitorous mouth again.

Yibo would, there’s no doubt about it, but Ji Li cuts in before he can, “So anyway, what did I miss?”

“Xiao Zhan was about to tell us about working with Yang Xia again,” Ziyi replies smoothly.

So much so, in fact, that Xiao Zhan suspects this wonderful teamwork is due to them not wanting to hear his and Yibo’s squabbling. Which, fair enough, since they tend to get away with it at times no matter how many people are around.

Still, it wouldn’t do to make it too easy for everyone. “I was?”

“Might as well now,” Ziyi smiles sweetly.

“Not much to say. I just want her there for every project I’m in.”

It’s not even an exaggeration. Yang Xia is professional, passionate about what she does and a good person to boot. Xiao Zhan will forever be grateful to her for A’Ling. He’d be lying if he said her pitch wasn’t the main reason he decided to do Where Dreams Begin.

“You should’ve invited her to the movie night tonight.” 

“Who do you take me for, Da Cheng, of course I did! Alas, she’s too busy for us peasants. She did ask me to say hi to everyone though.”

“You should take a screenshot of us together saying hi back.”

“What about us then?” Yibo shakes his head and takes charge until he and Xiao Zhan are huddled close to the screen and takes a selfie with all of them, on screen and off, waving.

The photo successfully sent to Yang Xia — and the group chat with a thoughtful to every loser missing movie night, prepare for memes — Xiao Zhan settles into the cozy corner of the couch and brings everyone back to the topic at hand, since Yibo has managed to avoid any heat so far. “But you guys should’ve asked Yibo about work, not me.”

Ji Li’s eyes somehow visibly light up despite the fact that he’s only a moderately-sized square on a video call. “Oh?”

Yibo shoves Xiao Zhan and points at everyone in a vaguely threatening manner. “Nothing too exciting.”

“No, it’s very exciting,” Xiao Zhan interrupts, “he just can’t say anything because it’s a super secret government movie with a closed shooting site.”

“You seem to know plenty about it, can’t be all that secret,” Yu Bin jokes.

Yibo being Yibo, he says, “Zhan-ge’s got soulmate privileges.”

Ji Li makes a thinking face, going as far as to put a finger to his chin. “Does it say so in your contract?”

“It says so in my soul,” Yibo delivers with aplomb and promptly starts cackling as everyone cringes.

“Why are you like this?!” Xiao Zhan hits him a few times and then some more for being so awful.

The shameless gremlin just drinks his beer, enjoying everyone’s suffering.

Lulu, the angel that she is, gets them back on track. “So are you excited for the movie, Yibo?”

“Yeah! I really can’t say much, but it’s gonna be so cool. There’ll be planes,” he says with a faraway look, as if he’s already piloting one on set. Then that look is replaced by something else entirely. “Won’t be allowed to come home for a while though.”

Xiao Zhan digs his toes under Yibo’s thigh and leaves them there to distract them both from the fact that Yibo has to fly out in a few days. Nothing they can do about it, plus it’s definitely not a bad thing, not with how excited Yibo is about filming King of the Sky.

“Worth it! Yibo-ge is about to become a big movie star,” Xiao Zhan brags, not even trying to conceal his pride.

“Wow, I’m so honoured to know him from the time before. Like when he lost a bet to Da-ge and had to fit a giant baozi in his mouth.” Yu Bin readily supplies. “I still have pictures.”

Yibo just shrugs, “I have no regrets.” He eyes duck necks, still untouched on the coffee table. “Now I'm kinda hungry though.”

The comment spurs everyone to get to the movie part of the movie night. Yu Bin starts streaming, they start snacking and very soon the group chat fills with memes they send in response to whatever is happening in the movie. The very best thing about it, in Xiao Zhan’s humble opinion, is that the constant barrage of messages annoys those who are busy tonight. He knows from experience: he missed their last movie night and had to mute the chat altogether.

Already sort of buzzed, he giggles at the gif of a screaming bird Ziyi sent and shoves his phone into Yibo’s face to make him look at it too. It connects with his forehead instead, thankfully not too hard, which makes Xiao Zhan giggle even more.

“Aiya, sorry, Lao Wang,” he whispers.

“You have to make it up to me now,” Yibo whispers back and takes Xiao Zhan’s hand, because apparently that’s an appropriate payment.

Not bothering to put up any protest, Xiao Zhan tugs a bowl of chips to himself with his free hand and cuddles closer into Yibo’s side.

The movie is a lighthearted comedy, for which Xiao Zhan is grateful because it allows him to drift in and out of the narrative, chat with everyone in the process and just laugh to his heart’s content at the string of stupid memes.

At some point, Yibo leaves to get a second beer for himself and Xiao Zhan does not like this at all. As soon as he comes back, Xiao Zhan grabs his hand back and grips it tight in case he has other plans.

Yibo gives him a funny look, like maybe the one beer has already taken its usual effect on Xiao Zhan.

“Gonna miss me every second of every day after all?” he mouths quietly.

It’d be a snarky comment if it wasn’t for the way Yibo’s eyes soften and heart squeezes in a very telling way.

Xiao Zhan shoves a chip into his mouth and steals Yibo’s new beer to take a sip, all the while maintaining eye contact. “You are so clingy,” he says, thoroughly enjoying the indignation written all over Yibo’s face. Almost as much as the fact that any hint of sadness has vanished, but that’s neither here nor there.

Just when it seems like Yibo is about to protest, there’s a loud explosion in the movie and Yu Bin cheers loudly. They both look back to the screen, then Yibo throws a quick glance at Xiao Zhan.

“I wanna know what happened. Truce?”

“Truce.”

“For now,” Yibo adds lowly and then joins Yu Bin’s cheering when a second explosion happens.

Xiao Zhan takes advantage of a mid-movie bathroom break to go take a piss and splash some water on his red cheeks. He’s not really drunk, but buzzed enough for the world to blur around the edges. There’s certainly been plenty of teasing tonight for still being a lightweight even with all the mass he has kept from Ace Troops shooting. Only Lulu praised him for not going into either party or sleep mode after a beer and a half, which is why she is his favourite, always and forever.

When he comes back, Yibo is in a heated discussion with Ji Li about a newly released game (that he’s already beat Xiao Zhan at, merciless as usual). Xiao Zhan means to join in but accidentally topples over a bowl on the edge of the table. It crashes and spills the remaining chips to the floor. Not too much of a mess, since he’s already eaten most of them, but it still makes Xiao Zhan wrinkle his nose.

He’s about to get up again and clean up when he catches a twitch of Yibo’s eyebrows.

Well.

Xiao Zhan sits back, relaxing into the back of the couch, and smirks. “I dare you to leave it until later.”

Yibo turns to face him fully. “What does it have to do with me? It’s your mess.”

“But it’s not that bad, I’m okay with leaving it for now. Does it bother you though?” Yibo’s face says loud and clear whether it bothers him or not, and Xiao Zhan continues gleefully, “Such a shame you’re a clean freak, Yibo-ge.”

“I’m not, I just like cleanliness.”

His eyes dart from Xiao Zhan to the floor and back. It’s so obvious he itches to get rid of the mess right this second that Xiao Zhan has no other choice but continue teasing him.

“Okay, you aren’t. So you can just leave it be for the rest of the movie.”

“I can, but you have to clean up.”

“Why, if it doesn’t bother either of us?”

“Because it’s your fault.”

“Doesn’t make sense to me, to be honest. It’s okay to admit you can’t stand a dirty floor.”

“You’re being a bully, Zhan-ge.”

“Me? No way!”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not.”

“Then what is it that you are doing if not bullying?”

“Helping you open up about your fixations.”

“Wow, so generous, Xiao-laoshi, so kind of y—”

“Oh my god,” Ju Li groans, “how could you have become worse? I thought it couldn’t get worse than when we were filming.”

Xiao Zhan looks away from Yibo, who is by now mere inches away. “It’s called being domestic,” he says, “and anyway, we can always get worse.” To prove his point, he plants a brief but showy smooch on Yibo.

Zhuocheng chooses this very moment to come back. “Oh, come on! You guys are the worst.”

Xiao Zhan giggles, even more so when Yibo deliberately takes Xiao Zhan’s hand and kisses his wrist, glaring at the screen in challenge. Satisfied with the answering protests against sappiness, he lets go and eyes the floor.

Sighing, he gets up.

“Waah, so good of you. Bo-di, gege loves you,” Xiao Zhan cackles because it will never not be funny to him how popular the little behind the scenes clip of Yibo shouting this very thing had become. Totally out of context, of course, and painting Yibo in a very certain light, all the more ridiculous for it.

He gets an eye-roll and a middle finger in response, which, fair enough.

When Yibo gets back with a mop, Xiao Zhan does help him clean up, though he doesn’t bother getting up for this. So what if he’s spoiled? It’s Yibo’s fault, not his.

Everyone’s back by the time they are done and the movie watching resumes. Tired of sitting, Xiao Zhan lies down with his head on Yibo’s thighs. The couch is too small to fit him, so his feet end up dangling in the air, but it’s not too bad, especially when Yibo starts idly carding a hand through his hair.

Xiao Zhan looks up and meets his eyes. A smile comes out almost involuntary, and he is very aware of stupid stuttering his heart is doing. Judging by a twitch of Yibo’s lips, he is also extremely aware of it.

Xiao Zhan can’t help but think that Ji Li — who was there at the beginning and is here now, years later — is right, they are getting worse. Every goddamn day he is getting worse about Yibo, and the stupid soulmate bond telegraphs it loud and clear.

Good thing Yibo isn’t faring any better, which is all that matters, really. He doesn’t mind becoming the worst together. 

And if it has the added bonus of annoying their friends from time to time, well.

Xiao Zhan turns back to the screen and tries not to be too gleeful.

***

Summer comes, and with it the opportunity to relax and play a little.

Xiao Zhan gets to surf and swim to his heart’s content, has fun in the private hotel pool, takes lots of pretty pictures of the scenery and just generally soaks up as much sunshine as humanly possible.

The only thing that could make it even better would be having Yibo there with him. But beggars can’t be choosers and all that.

He kind of is there, in a way: a face on the screen when Xiao Zhan takes a break to sit quietly by the pool, a voice in Xiao Zhan’s ears accompanying him on cycling rides, a smile from a few thousand miles away as they both fall asleep.

It’s not a substitute for the real thing but over the years they’ve learned to appreciate what they get to have and not bemoan what they don’t.

(It also helps that later in the summer they do manage to steal away a few days together. They rent a motorboat and criss-cross a private lake on it dozens of times, go cycling together, swim, and fuck each other stupid. Xiao Zhan commits to memory Yibo’s sun-drenched face — carefree, happy, loved — knowing it will fuel him for many months to come. He takes a picture or fifty just in case his memory fails him.)

Xiao Zhan would never publicly share these photos, but he’s not above posting the ones from his early summer almost-solitary vacation. He’s worked hard for those muscles, okay? There’s nothing wrong with showing off just a little bit. Besides, keeping fans well-fed and simultaneously keeping low profile is tough, but his team has gotten it to an art form by now. They’ve all learned a glimpse of skin every now and then can go a long way.

And if Xiao Zhan cackles evilly after browsing Weibo for a few minutes, it’s no one’s business but his own. After all, no one will ever know if the image of Lan Wangji/Yibo holding Wei Wuxian/Xiao Zhan in the boat that is pretty discernible in the water by Xiao Zhan’s feet is a glitch in the universe or just Xiao Zhan being chaotic.

The photos cause quite a stir, as planned, but not only among the fans.

“So sexy, Zhan-ge!! The sexiest man in China. No, Asia. No, the world,” Yibo raves on the phone, “Xiao Zhan is the sexiest man in the world!" 

Xiao Zhan rolls his eyes. “Are you done?”

“No! Check out those arms, wow, and all that wet glistening skin… Zhan-ge is truly incomparable in beauty and hotness! People are lucky just to catch a glimpse, and I must’ve saved a whole country in my past life to be allowed to tap all that. But,” Yibo finally pauses to catch a breath before continuing with a hint of petulance in his voice, “you posted so few photos. Surely I must have enough privileges to see more?”

“I literally sent you a whole bunch of them the day they were taken.”

Xiao Zhan’s dry tone does nothing to quell Yibo’s enthusiasm. “Yeah, but I want more. I know you have more!”

“Wow, you’re so needy.”

“Who wouldn’t be needy if they had you?”

“But you are the neediest.”

“It just means I have you the most.”

“Wang Yibo! What kind of logic is that!”

The conversation ends with Xiao Zhan caving in and sending more thirst traps, which leads to other things and makes for a very exciting evening for both of them.

But although vacations are all well and good, they are only the beginning, because in their family summer means SDC time has come.

For the third year in a row, Yibo has made sure to clear his schedule for this and Xiao Zhan to find time to watch it as much as possible.

Of course, it’s not the same as before.

The first year was about Yibo finding his footing and proving to himself and everyone else that he belongs in the street dance scene. He was nervous, easily excited, taking on every challenge with eagerness. By the end of it, he’d come to be regarded as a true captain, deserving of the title, able to hold his own against professional dancers and support and guide them when needed.

The second year was both more relaxed and amped up at the same time. Yibo was familiar with the setting, the rules and limitations, already friends with quite a few participants and on friendly terms with the others. But season four also had many foreign dancers, world champions, whose mere presence made the stakes higher than ever. Inevitably, Yibo ended up winning many of them over, helped by Bouboo’s recommendation and his own capability.

After the high of last year, where truly the best of the best competed for the title of the champion, this season was bound to be smaller, quieter. The directors have found an elegant solution for this: if you can’t go up, go down in a way that makes it look purposeful. Xiao Zhan thinks focusing on the new generation of dancers is ingenious and can make for a good show if done correctly.

It demands quite a few changes in the show format, it seems, and some of them are pretty risky. When Yibo tells him there won’t be the usual captains’ teams, Xiao Zhan is sceptical.

“It kinda sucks, yeah,” Yibo concedes. “There are a couple of dancers I really, really would want on my team. We’ll still collaborate, I think, but it won’t be the same. It makes sense though. Some of the new guys are experienced, while others are completely green. Having the participants be team captains isn’t a bad idea, that way they’ll be able to grow quickly.”

They talk about it a lot, Yibo going into detail about the pros and cons of the new format. Listening to him, Xiao Zhan can’t help but think that one of the biggest changes is Yibo himself.

He sounds not like a mere captain now, but a true street dance ambassador that he is. These past few years he’s been using his status to promote it and give it the opportunity to grow and get the recognition it deserves. Having started all this for a very simple reason — his love for dancing — he now makes a huge impact on hundreds, thousand of dancers nationwide and on the industry as a whole. He really has grown up a lot. It makes Xiao Zhan fiercely proud.

So maybe him not being a team captain this year, while upsetting in some ways, does make sense. Privately, Xiao Zhan is also relieved because it makes the shoot much more relaxed, physically and mentally. Not that Yibo doesn’t thrive and even revel in the tension that is usually present on competition shows, but he really could use a breather right about now.

With the new turn his career has taken, Yibo’s last few projects have been tough. Shooting movies with big name actors and directors is an honour that Yibo worked hard to deserve, so going back now to something as familiar and beloved as SDC, and in a more relaxed conditions too, is exactly what he needs.

There’s plenty to hold Yibo’s attention even without the usual captain duties.

New French guys are competing this year, and while Yibo mentions them once or twice or fifty times, it’s when the first episode airs that Xiao Zhan has to raise his eyebrows in disbelief.

“You have a thing,” he says on a video call, mock-scandalised.

“No I don’t,” is Yibo’s reply, but there’s a quirk to his lips that belies his amusement.

“Do too! Good thing there are no teams this year, otherwise yours would be all French. You’d have to rename it, too. ‘Wang’s French Harem. Boom.’”

Yibo cackles. “I like the sound of that, I’ll keep it in mind for next year.” He laughs at Xiao Zhan’s answering grimace, but then gets serious the way he’s prone to when talking about dancing. “It’s not a thing though, I just like their style. Technically, they vary a lot, even if they dance in the same style: you wouldn’t confuse Bouboo with Zyko though they are both hiphop dancers. Hell, even Rochka is completely different, and he’s Bouboo’s student. It’s the same with Badd Machine and Sniper. Both are krumpers, but the way they interpret the same moves is obviously different.”

Yibo is on a roll: his hands are restless as they fidget with his shirt collar, eyes are technically on Xiao Zhan, but he’s obviously seeing something different in his mind’s eye. Xiao Zhan smiles indulgently at this full-on captain mode and leans back, prepared to listen further.

“Still, there’s this unique… I don’t know, frenchness to all of them. They are all aces at basics, which is an absolutely necessary foundation for every dancer. They understand music and know how to make it work for them. And they never stop trying new things. Dance culture in France is so rich and it continues to evolve. Ugh, I just like it so much.”

He visibly shakes himself and his eyes focus on Xiao Zhan again.

“I know, Bobo, I know. But if we go travelling, we’re skipping France ‘cause you’d just ditch me to go hang out with cool French dancers.”

“Not if you ditch me first to spend all your days in Louvre.”

Well, Yibo’s got him there. “That’s fair. Okay, let’s go to France and just never see each other while we’re there.”

That’s a load of bullshit, of course. Xiao Zhan would be thrilled to see French dance scene and the way Yibo would thrive there. And he knows for sure Yibo would find something to interest him in Louvre and would gladly accompany Xiao Zhan there and to any other museum.

Judging by Yibo’s face, he knows exactly what Xiao Zhan is thinking but still nods in agreement. “Sounds like a plan. And if you get bored alone, Bouboo can show you around after he gets me in with his crew.”

“Ooh, alright, I like Bouboo.”

Yibo’s eyes go all warm because he is a softie. “He can take you to a pastry shop and ply you with croissants.”

For a second, Xiao Zhan checks out, imagining a French pâtisserie and the sheer variety of pastries available there.

He comes back to Yibo’s croaky laughter. “Oh my god, OH MY GOD, your heart literally skipped a bit just now! Zhan-ge, you are such a pastry freak!”

“I’m not, I just like the pastries’ style,” Xiao Zhan mocks Yibo’s words from earlier and sticks his tongue out while he’s at it.

“I’m definitely telling Bouboo about this!”

As if Xiao Zhan had any doubts. By now Yibo and Bouboo’s relationship, built on the foundation of shared love for dancing, has evolved beyond that, and Bouboo has become Yibo’s friend in the truest sense of the word.

It's much the same in this season of SDC. Yibo might’ve gotten closer with Rochka on the One and Only set, developed an easy kinship with Shaadow and Dykens, but even with the minimal footage of Yibo with Bouboo it’s obvious Bouboo occupies a special place in his heart.

The French harem aside, there’s much more for Yibo to enjoy. One of the best previously unexpected things happens in the party episode which the directors have wisely decided to do this year too. In the season of low stakes for captains where Yibo and Han Geng, feeling completely at home, mostly spend air time being their gremlin selves, the party still feels special and allows them to have an absurd amount of fun. This time, there’s something extra special to make Yibo buoyantly happy.

“Zhanzhan, hello hello hello hello!” rattles Da Zhangwei almost before Xiao Zhan’s phone screen shows him and Yibo huddled together.

“Hi, Da-laoshi,” he beams in return, glad to see the familiar face.

“Can you believe Yibao almost snuck away to call you and left me no chance to say hi?”

“How rude of Yibao,” Xiao Zhan tuts, shaking his head despondently for full effect.

“Oh, sure, gang up on me, why don’t you.” Yibo rolls his eyes but fails to wipe the happy expression off his face.

“Happy to oblige,” Xiao Zhan salutes and shifts attention back to Da-laoshi. “How’s SDC treating you?”

“No one’s thrown flowers at my feet yet, but they have been laughing at my jokes, so not too bad.”

It makes Yibo snort. He gets closer to the camera, eager to share gossip with Xiao Zhan. “They might as well have, with the flowers. A few guys asked him for selfies, Li Chengxuan confessed to loving his music and Wang Chenchen proposed to keep him for the rest of the season.”

“Really? Wouldn’t it put him out of his job?” Da-laoshi pipes in, obviously delighted.

“Not if he wins the battle against Lu-dao and becomes the chief director.”

“I might accept! I’d be so good at commenting all future performances, you know. I wouldn’t understand anything about them, but I’d have a lot to say anyway…”

They go on like this for a while, and Xiao Zhan adds a comment here and there, but mostly contents himself with watching Yibo and Da-laoshi.

It’s good to see them together again, happy and at ease with each other even if they haven’t exactly had a lot of opportunities to meet since leaving TTXS. But they've kept in touch, and Xiao Zhan is glad that nothing much has changed.

He’s shooting a commercial today so the soulmate bond has to be kept quiet, but he loosens the reigns now, while on a break, and lets himself soak up Yibo’s joyful mood. He’s overwhelmed by sheer fondness engulfing Yibo right now but isn’t really surprised. SDC set is already a well-loved playground for Yibo and having Da-laoshi there with him is bound to make him bubbly with happiness.

It shows on screen too, when Xiao Zhan watches this episode in September. He even makes sure to do it right away, despite being busy with his new drama.

What he sees is similar in the mood to that video call they had: Yibo laughs wholeheartedly, cheers for Da-laoshi, sings along with him, and in the best TTXS tradition cheats at games together with him. Their tacit understanding is as good and funny as ever, and Yibo beams with the sort of heart-shaped smile that is usually reserved for his Tian Tian brothers.

Da-laoshi seems his usual self, charming everyone with his wit and humour, and all in all fits with the crowd amazingly well. When he and Yibo do their hosting bit, he falls back on old habits and cues Yibo and generally tries to take care of him. Which Xiao Zhan thinks is only fair since, captain or not, twenty-five or not, Yibo will always be a baby to this particular set of geges.

Obviously, a lot more happens in the episode, but this is what warms Xiao Zhan the most and stays with him.

Soon Sunshine With Me filming starts in earnest and leaves little time to keep up with the second half of SDC. Still, Xiao Zhan tries, diligently makes sure to watch the performances and highlights if not the whole episodes, and listens to Yibo’s inspired speeches and pieces of gossip he insists on offering.

But now their evening calls are spent talking about Sheng Yang as much as SDC. Xiao Zhan likes his new character and wants to do him justice, which Yibo actually helps him with.

It may have been years and countless experiences ago, but Xiao Zhan hasn’t forgotten the quiet evenings in Hengdian that he and Yibo spent talking about their characters and the story, trying to figure out everyone’s motivation and purpose and how to make it all come together. Those talks were so good not only because he and Yibo fit together extraordinarily well, but also because they both were passionate about acting and had many thoughts on it, and made each other see things they would miss otherwise.

It can’t be like that anymore for obvious reasons, but they still tend to talk it out with each other more often than not.

Soon, they get to have something even better than nightly conversations. A few days before he is set to fly to Macau for SDC finale, Yibo successfully goes into ninja mode and comes to Chongqing, despite countless eyes that’s been waiting for him to do just that.

Which means Sunshine With Me crew is gifted a truckload of snacks and Xiao Zhan is whisked away to a restaurant he’s been wanting to go to and Yibo, bless his heart, remembered the name of.

“I can’t eat much. I have to film later today, you do know that, right?” Xiao Zhan asks, surveying the spread of dishes that are very much Sichuan-appropriate in their redness.

“I’ve got the rest covered,” Yibo answers, cheeks already bunched up as he happily munches on spicy boiled beef.

His face is only a little red, a testament to how much his spice tolerance has improved over the years. Despite himself Xiao Zhan feels a nudge of pride for Yibo’s perseverance and his own hard work on that front. The day Yibo was able to handle the authentic Chongqing hotpot is a fond memory for them both.

Unable to keep away any longer, Xiao Zhan reaches for twice-cooked pork and a small helping of mapo tofu.

“I’ve been eating too much lately,” he complains, his cheeks following Yibo’s example, “mom says I have to eat ‘like a real Chongqinger’ while I’m here and ‘not be a disgrace to her’.”

“She’s right, you’re getting soft in your old age.”

No matter how distracted he is with food, Yibo’s dammed fast reflexes allow him to escape Xiao Zhan’s jab. He grins gleefully.

“Your cheeks are ridiculous,” Xiao Zhan says just to be spiteful, but otherwise magnanimously lets it go because he is older and wiser. “You shouldn’t eat too much now either, she’s been cooking up a storm for your arrival.”

It makes Yibo pause and look at the table with new eyes, obviously doing some mental recalculations. He nods.

“You’re right. I’ll eat everything she gives me, I promise.”

Xiao Zhan laughs outright. “Lao Wang, even your metabolism won’t be able to save you if you do that.”

“Whatever, I can take it, I love Xiao-mama’s cooking.”

Of that Xiao Zhan has no doubt, and not only because Yibo is a suck up. He has an understandable affinity for home cooked meals, especially if they are made by his own family. After a long video call with Yibo’s mother, Xiao Zhan’s learned to cook a few Henan dishes that never fail to lift Yibo’s spirits when he’s down.

Xiao Zhan himself has been enjoying home cooking for weeks now. Almost the best part of filming this drama is being back in Chongqing and seeing his parents so often.

As they eat — Yibo visibly slowing down — Xiao Zhan tells him all about it, making a special emphasis on how cute, soft and cuddly Jianguo has been lately, such a shame Yibo has only one evening with her.

Yibo looks at him cooly over the teacup he’s holding. “It’s about quality, not quantity, Zhan-ge. Tonight, while you’re slaving away at work, I’ll be eating your mom’s food and cuddling my girl Jianguo—”

“Your girl?!”

“— and taking lots of pictures with her. I’ll post them on WeChat moments, and you’ll have to stare at them desolately during breaks.”

It’s Xiao Zhan’s turn to gaze at him cooly. “How tragic. So tragic, in fact, that I might not let you into my hotel room after all that.”

“Too late, your assistant has already given me the key.”

“Ugh,” Xiao Zhan drops the act to roll his eyes, “of course she has.”

They circle through several topics after that but inevitably come to SDC, Yibo’s thoughts never straying too far with the finale just around the corner.

“Have you seen the latest episode?” Yibo asks with a very particular sparkle in his eye.

“I have, and I’m guessing you’re asking for a very specific reason, Auntie Wang?”

Yibo explodes, eyes wide with excitement, “Oh come on, only Yuki and only Dou Dou!!”

Xiao Zhan bursts into stupid giggles, but honestly, Yibo in this mood is hilarious. Contestants’ relationships are another thing that’s been occupying Yibo this season, making him trend as a captain of every CP on the show. No one’s been safe from Yibo’s sudden gossipy tendencies: from Da Di and Anisha, to Bouboo and Siwen, to Zyko and his six-year relationship, to everyone’s favourite Yuki and Dou Dou.

It’s mostly due to Yibo having a relatively easy, stress-free time on set this season, enough to let his gremlin side go on a rampage, but there’s more to it.

“Being in a relationship is awesome, why wouldn’t I wish it for others?” Yibo shrugged when Xiao Zhan asked, which settled the question rather succinctly.

To be fair, the Douki thing has been loudly encouraged by everyone from most contestants, captains and directors to the show’s fans. Dou Dou and Yuki themselves have not helped matters by doing a series of performances that ended in them getting married in the latest dance. Then there are their touching farewell speeches and, of course, their only Yuki and only Dou Dou.

Okay, so maybe Xiao Zhan himself has gotten a touch invested, but who can blame him.

“Did you really not ask them?” he raises his eyebrows at Yibo, since the chances of confirming everyone’s suspicions during finale are pretty low with how busy it’s going to be.

Yibo shakes his head, “Of course not, it’d be too awkward. Yixing-ge would though,” he sighs regretfully.

“Oh, Yixing definitely would.”

In the third season he wheedled a few latin dancers into admitting they were soulmates and romantic partners, so this would be small beans for him.

Alas, he’s doing his own thing this year, leaving everyone to fend for themselves. Yibo rued his absence when he found out just how well krump would be represented this season. He mentioned it so much early on when Badd Machine and Sniper proved to be completely deserving of their reputation that Xiao Zhan couldn’t help texting Yixing. It went like this:

so have you been informed of all the excellent krumpers you are missing this season?

DON’T EVEN, Da Zhan, he can’t stop informing me every time there’s a battle

Poor Yixing was missing out, though he soon was promised an introduction, which suited him just fine. But now Xiao Zhan has to wonder if Yixing’s been watching and getting invested in relationship drama too. He makes a mental note to ask next time they talk.

“Well, I guess it will have to remain a mystery,” Xiao Zhan says, laying his chopsticks down, finished with the meal.

“I guess.” Yibo chews thoughtfully for a few moments, swallows, then breaks out into a smile. “But they are definitely together.”

“Yibo-ge…”

Xiao Zhan laughs, exasperated, and hides his face in his hands. He’s overcome by an unexpected stab of fondness for Yibo’s bullshit, but it’s probably no use to hide it. 

Sure enough, when he resurfaces it’s to the sight of Yibo’s satisfied face. The bastard always manages to catch even the smallest changes in Xiao Zhan’s heartbeat.

“So how’s your final performance going?” Xiao Zhan asks, forcefully moving them along.

It gets Yibo going, of course. Since filming One and Only his passion for Breaking has been at an all-time high. Even among all the high profile movies he’s been filming lately, One and Only obviously stands out for him for the same reason he chooses to come back to SDC every year. Add to this the fact that Breaking was Yibo’s first dance style, and the result is him practicing like crazy all summer and autumn. Him doing a full-blown b-boy routine for his final performance was a foregone conclusion.

Yibo goes as far as getting up and demonstrating a few moves in the small space their private dining room provides. 

Xiao Zhan cheers and tries his best to imitate Liao Bo’s voice, “B-boy Yibo! Yiboy! Bibo!”

In response, Yibo strikes a pose and quotes the song he’ll be dancing to, “Love, peace, unity and having fun!”

Xiao Zhan diligently applauds, already imagining the thunderous reaction of the live audience. Good, Yibo deserves nothing less.

“Ugh, I can’t wait to start learning it. It’s gonna be amazing, Zhan-ge!” Yibo bounces back to his seat.

“Literally have zero doubts. Looking forward to it, Yibo-duizhang.”

Yibo beams and takes Xiao Zhan’s hand, entwining their fingers. Then he just looks at Xiao Zhan.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What?” Xiao Zhan asks again, this time with an accompanying squeeze of Yibo’s hand.

“Nothing! Just haven’t seen you in a while.” Yibo says lightly, his thumb swiping over Xiao Zhan’s knuckles.

“Eh, we’ve had worse, just a couple of weeks this time.” It comes out breezy, at odds with how he tugs until their clasped hands are resting in his lap.

Unexpectedly, Yibo sings out his answer, eyes betraying a smile even if his lips don’t, “Qiān nián děng yì huí.”

The reference to a thousand year wait, somewhat apt if greatly exaggerated, takes Xiao Zhan by surprise, though he still can’t help but echo the answering, “Děng yì huí ā.” He’s tempted to continue the song, but the urge to wheedle Yibo is much greater. “So which one of us is Bai Suzhen and which one is Xu Xian? You do remember I’m afraid of snakes, right, so there’s no correct answer.”

Yibo pouts. “So if I was the White Snake you’d be afraid of me?”

“Yeah, sorry, our great romance would fail,” Xiao Zhan nods, trying not to picture everything he’d try in order to overcome his fear to be with snake Yibo. Which isn’t a ridiculous thought at all.

“Fine, then I’ll be Xu Xian, you be Bai Suzhen. You can’t be afraid of yourself if you are already a snake, right? In any case, Xiao Meiren is definitely beautiful enough to be the White Snake.”

“Ugh, let’s just both be humans, alright? That way neither of us has to be shut up in a pagoda or wait for a thousand years.”

Yibo shrugs, easily going along with it. “Alright, but don’t be late tonight, okay? Or it really will feel like a millennium.”

“No promises, but I’ll do my best.”

Xiao Zhan reaches for the teapot with his free hand to refill their cups. There’s still some time before he has to be on set, so, once he’s done with the task, he sits back, ready for whatever their next topic is, be it ancient legends, some new fancy, or more of the finer points of Breaking.

Talking to Yibo is as fun and interesting as it was back when they first met. Xiao Zhan doesn’t know if it’s a soulmate thing but suspects it’s just a them thing, and feels ready to talk to him for hours more. Days, even. Months and decades, or, if they are being especially ridiculous and sentimental, a thousand years.

Xiao Zhan rolls his eyes at himself, stops thinking of time altogether and starts listening to what Yibo is saying, their entwined hands keeping him firmly in the present.

***

Xiao Zhan wheels the suitcase in and sags against the door.

It was a long flight, followed by a long drive, and all of that after a long day of shooting. At least there was little fanfare at the airport, not too many people bothering him at two in the morning. It’s well after three now, and it shows in the heaviness of his limbs, a pressing headache only adding to the general weariness engulfing him.

He could just fly in in the morning, but nothing beats sleeping in his own bed.

Speaking of which. Yibo should already be asleep, but there’s a low light coming from the living room. Curious, Xiao Zhan pushes off the door and takes off his shoes and jacket before going to investigate.

Yibo is curled up on the couch, probably having fallen asleep without meaning to, judging from a phone that has half-slipped from his loose grip. His head is resting at an awkward angle, which is sure to make his neck hurt afterwards. Xiao Zhan should wake him up and then go to sleep together in a bed like normal people.

Instead, he drops to the couch next to Yibo, suddenly not wanting to do anything else. It makes Yibo stir. 

He squints and says in a hoarse voice, “Zhan-ge. You’re here.”

“Sure are. Sweet of you to wait up for me,” Xiao Zhan teases.

“Wasn’t waiting up, who do you take me for?” Yibo grumbles. “I was doing super important stuff.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Wang-laoshi, I forgot you’re—”

Yibo doesn’t let him finish, just drops the phone with his super important stuff on the coffee table, draws up his knees to his chest and sways closer to plant a kiss on a not-exactly-unsuspecting Xiao Zhan. He is sleep-warm and soft, pliant when Xiao Zhan wraps an arm around his shoulders to draw him closer. 

The kiss doesn’t even go far, it’s just a press of lips, followed by another one, and a few more, but Xiao Zhan’s whole body relaxes by the second, letting go of the day’s tension. They haven’t seen each other for a few weeks, and late as it is, tired after a long journey as he is, this is still the best homecoming he can imagine.

He kisses the corner of Yibo’s mouth one last time and sighs in contentment. When he brushes the mole on the back of Yibo’s neck with his thumb, Yibo shivers lightly and rests his forehead against Xiao Zhan’s cheek. His bony knees press against Xiao Zhan, but for once Xiao Zhan doesn’t complain and just wraps a second arm around him.

“Mm, you smell good,” Yibo murmurs, nosing lightly under Xiao Zhan’s jaw.

“I smell like the airplane.”

“No, you smell like you.” Even half asleep, he sounds adamant, like he’s ready to argue about this all night. Luckily for everyone, Xiao Zhan is in a less stubborn mood. When he offers no further resistance, Yibo changes the subject, his words pressed into Xiao Zhan’s skin, “How was your flight?”

It’s a loaded question between the two of them, not just the normal was everything okay with the plane, but also were you mobbed, did people bother you too much, did you have trouble getting to the car and more in that vein.

It’s just another fact of life they both have to accept and while it’s not exactly pleasant, it doesn’t bother Xiao Zhan as much as it used to. There’s a lot to be said for getting used to mundanities of celebrity life.

“Not too bad,” he shrugs and promptly banishes all thoughts of airports and crowds from his mind. 

Their comfortable couch, the warm weight of Yibo’s sleepy body, the quiet hour of the night — it’s all making Xiao Zhan much too content to be bothered by the outside world. No matter how noisy it gets, being with Yibo never fails to quiet everything else down.

Two whole days of this would almost seem too good to be true if they didn’t painstakingly arrange their schedules to allow the overlap of their days off.

“I’m gonna sleep until noon tomorrow. You aren’t allowed to wake me up before that,” Xiao Zhan murmurs, blissed out at just the thought of waking up without an alarm.

Yibo silently huffs, his breath warm against Xiao Zhan’s skin. “Zero chance of that, Zhan-ge.”

“No, no, no, I will kill you,” Xiao Zhan chants, squeezing his arms around Yibo with murderous intent. It probably doesn’t translate very well and feels like a very tight hug.

“But think of all the sex we’ll be having.”

“Will it require moving?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“Then I hate it.”

“I’ll check if you still do in the morning.”

“I’m not responsible for any bodily harm that will follow, you’ve been warned.”

“I’ll take the risk if it’s for Zhan-ge.”

“Stupid.” With that, Xiao Zhan deflates, the last of his energy spent.

Honestly, a whole day of nothing but sex, food and video games doesn’t sound half bad. He can nap in between rounds if he really needs to.

Yibo shifts a little, managing to snuggle even closer. “It’s not a no.”

“You are literally half asleep, why are you still talking.”

“Because if you don’t talk and I don’t talk, where does that leave us?..”

Yibo trails off and for a few seconds Xiao Zhan’s tired brain scrambles to catch up because it sounds like a deliberate reference to something. Then he gets it, an ancient inside joke from an interview where Yibo accused him of talking too much in the early days of their acquaintance.

Delighted and exasperated in equal measure, Xiao Zhan tugs Yibo’s ear lightly in lieu of a verbal answer.

Yibo doesn’t seem to mind. He leans forward, presses his lips against Xiao Zhan’s neck, right above the pulse, and stays there.

The truth is, even if neither of them says anything there’s still plenty to listen to.

Xiao Zhan smiles, focuses on two heartbeats in his chest and allows himself to rest.

***

Way before any of this, there’s a nineteen-year-old Yibo who doesn’t really spend much time on thoughts of soulmates or relationships. But he catches a glimpse of a breathtakingly beautiful smile on the stage of Tian Tian Xiang Shang and thinks,

Huh.