Chapter Text
Xiao Xingchen entered the facility as the distant sun started floating into view. His key card dinged pleasantly, greeting him, doors giving way to the brightly lit hall lined with kitschy art, most of it abstract. Xiao Xingchen's favorite one was a child-like drawing of yellow stars and pink sheep, displayed in a plain, black frame.
He smiled at it as he walked by.
Nodding at Mo Xuanyu, stationed at the front desk, bowing politely to Lan Qiren, he made his way past the first checkpoint, up a flight of stairs.
Busy day.
The lab was half-shrouded in darkness, abstract shapes of light hitting glass cabinets at eerie angles. At the center of the room was an island countertop, a body settled in the stool at the end.
Song Lan was early. He already knew that, though he could not predict precisely how early. Early enough that his hair was already out of place, his jacket askew on his shoulders. Exhaustion wrinkled the corner of his eyes. If Xiao Xingchen didn't know for a fact Song Lan didn't drink, he would have thought he was hungover.
"You left without me."
There's no animosity there, just curiosity. Xiao Xingchen's fingers stretched out to stroke Song Lan's shirt sleeve, careful not to graze his skin. He didn't like it, wouldn't react well unless Xiao Xingchen had express permission. And it's fine, Xiao Xingchen can acquiesce to this request. It's almost like a game, sometimes. See how close he can get without making it, feeling the whispers of fine hair and the just-out-of-reach heat of Song Lan's body. Maybe watch Song Lan squirm, just a little.
"You're not nervous, are you?"
Xiao Xingchen set his bag down after reaching inside to grab a hair tie. He wrapped his long hair into a bun and meandered past Song Lan, ensuring he could see a flash of the back of his neck on the way to the closet at the far side of the wide, bright room.
He felt Song Lan's gaze lingering on him. Smiled. Stripped off his coat slowly, letting the collar catch on his shirt underneath.
Song Lan rose before it could even snag.
Xiao Xingchen handed it off to him, watched him slip the hanging lab coat off the hanger and replace it with Xingchen's outside coat.
He smelled like spice and stress as he slipped the lab coat onto Xiao Xingchen's shoulders. "You know how difficult change is for me."
"I know," Xiao Xingchen said. He turned around, making his way to the sink to wash his hands. He let himself frown into the water as it rushed over the unscented soap. It all came out gray and swirled down the drain. He placed his easy smile back on before spinning around. "But this will be good for us, in the end."
Song Lan looked dubious. A heavy frown furrowed his eyebrows, clouded his handsome face.
After drying his hands off, Xiao Xingchen glanced quickly at the clock. "Come on."
Agony pierced Song Lan's eyes. "Xingchen..."
He followed anyway.
At the other end of the room, across from where he and Song Lan entered, was a long, wide bench. Cushioned, comfortable. Meant for when Xiao Xingchen stayed past curfew and didn't want to risk going outside.
He sat the two of them down, extended his arms.
After a moment of hesitation, Song Lan took Xiao Xingchen's hands. His fingers twitched as they made contact, like they were shocked to be touched. Like Song Lan had forgotten to warn them.
"I know you have your doubts." Xiao Xingchen used his thumbs to squeeze Song Lan's palms. "But you trust me, right?"
"Of course I do," Song Lan said immediately. His features morphed into a complicated expression. He took his hands away." I—I just want to just leave."
Xiao Xingchen's heart sank, but his face remained unchanged. He nudged Song Lan with his elbow. "We can't." His voice was deep and insistent. His hand came flat against Song Lan's back, revolving in slow circles. Ignoring the anxious ripple of muscle under his palm. "Try not to think about it."
At the continued tension on Song Lan's face, Xiao Xingchen sighed. "You'll see," he said with finality. "Before you know it, this will be over, and none of this will matter anymore. That's all we've wanted."
It was as much a reminder to himself as it was to Song Lan.
Everything about before was a cloudy, muddled mess, dancing like a foggy blur at the back of Xiao Xingchen's mind. He wished he could remember back when they met up at the mountain. They'd traveled for miles together. Well-known and respected cultivators, helping others not for personal gain, but because it was the right thing to do.
Then, darkness.
Then, he woke up here.
They owed the Jin family a lot. It would have been enough to take them in and keep them until they were well enough to make it out on their own, but they did so much more than that. Provided them with time to recover. Gave them plenty of space and privacy in one of the large buildings that lined the edge of the city, away from most of the pollution.
Jin Guangshan had hoped that being in such an environment would bring back their memories, but to no avail. The only thing Xiao Xingchen knew was that he felt a jolt of unease shivering down his spine whenever he so much as spare a thought in that direction. His chest grew tight when the red light of the curfew alarm went off in the evenings. His heart rate spiked as the muddled-yellow puffs of smoky dust hit the windows as the sun came up.
A deep breath and a shudder flitted down Song Lan's body, fingers twitching on his thighs. Song Lan swallowed down Xiao Xingchen's words and extinguished the doubt on his face.
His back was still tense underneath Xiao Xingchen's hand.
"I guess I'll get ready."
When they stood, Xiao Xingchen tilted his head, tentatively placing his hands on Song Lan's shoulders, away from his face. "Remember, this is just so they can have something on record in case anyone has a question that can't be answered. Less like running away with an inmate this way."
Song Lan's expression was stone, trying to be strong. To steel himself the way Xiao Xingchen told him to. "Isn't that exactly what we're doing?"
"Exactly." Xiao Xingchen smiled. He adjusted Song Lan's collar, then unbuttoned it. Song Lan shifted as Xiao Xingchen's fingers worked, clearing his throat. "Are you going to dress up?" His smile grew.
"Only if you want me to," Song Lan answered.
"This will be fine." He looked Song Lan over. "Change your jacket, maybe. Then let's enjoy these last couple of hours together, okay?"
Xiao Xingchen was gentle with Song Lan, treating him with fragile hands, removing the jacket he had worn, wrinkled at the shoulders from hunching over with stress. Song Lan shrugged on the new one that Xiao Xingchen handed to him.
"Beautiful," Xiao Xingchen said. Unlike most people he came across, Song Lan seemed to shrink away from praise, but they had been working on that. He thought he even saw a bit of a sparkle crinkling the corners of Song Lan's eyes.
Good enough.
"Let's get you married, Zichen."
~*~
Half of Xiao Xingchen wished there was a ceremony, if only to see the look on Song Lan's face. The other half was eternally grateful when the affair was just a few guards escorting Meng Yao, Su Minshan and Jin Zixun at the head of the group, and finally, with a youthful face and a curious look, was Xue Yang.
Xiao Xingchen swallowed, throat scratchy and dry. Pictures didn't do him justice.
He'd read Xue Yang's file top to bottom. Spoken with known contacts and former guards. Meng Yao had even given him a quick run-down of quirks and habits he'd displayed while incarcerated. Charming despite his relatively quiet manner in holding.
Nothing could have prepared him for seeing Xue Yang in front of him. His smile sparked and shined against the glass like a piercing beam of light.
He was slight, swimming in his clothes, an over-sized golden yellow shirt flowing past his hips, black, stretchy pants that were obviously supposed to be tight, but hung around his thighs and shins, sagging around his legs.
Despite the enigmatic look of his face, the coy sway he walked in with, he appeared close to death.
"So which one am I marrying? Ruggedly handsome, or ethereally beautiful?"
A bright flush spread over Song Lan's cheeks and nose. Crept up his ears. His back straightened and his jaw clenched.
Nerves. Frozen. Unable to say a word. Was it because Xue Yang had called him handsome? Xiao Xingchen almost burst into giggles, chest straining with admiration.
"Zichen," Xiao Xingchen said gently.
"Sorry," Song Lan said immediately, his uneasy trance breaking. His face naturally morphed into a frown.
He could tell instantly exactly what Song Lan was thinking: surely they could have given him something that was more form-fitting, considering they weren't lacking in the resources?
Xiao Xingchen knew that Xue Yang was slender, and that he was stubborn. Meng Yao had told him that Xue Yang refused to have anything taken in. Had refused their food, their beds. Taking to the corners like a feral animal.
From the sidelines, he saw Xue Yang register the look on Song Lan's face. His eyes sharpened at the sight of it.
"What, not up to your standards?"
Without hesitation, Xiao Xingchen stepped up.
"I don't think we could have asked for a better arrangement," he said, standing close to Song Lan. The slightest brush of bicep between them. A comfort and a warning all in one. He saw Song Lan's face relax, his breath return to normal. "It'll take some getting used to, but I think this will be good for all of us."
He stretched his mouth across his face. It didn't matter if it was fake or not. Would Xue Yang have believed them anyway? The only important thing at this moment was moving on.
Meng Yao followed his lead, turning to Xue Yang, talking in a faux-scold. "You'd look better if you would have followed the schedule set out for you, but you did say from the beginning that petulance was more your style." Despite the gentle tone, his words were meant to slice with every syllable, said with a smile. Meng Yao glanced up at Song Lan. "Glad to be handing him off to proper professionals."
Xue Yang and Song Lan continued to look each other up and down. Xiao Xingchen half expected them to start circling each other like wild dogs any minute now.
"Let's just get on with it, shall we?" Xiao Xingchen wished he could take his bun down. A persistent ache started at the back of his neck and worked its way up his skull.
It didn't take long, and it didn't take much. A few ceremonial words, signing of forms, and plenty of suggestive teasing from Xue Yang. Twenty minutes of paperwork, of expectations, going over contracts and discussing terms that had already been discussed to death.
"You'll get full accommodations in a safe locale. Food drops on the previously agreed-upon schedule, filters and respirators replaced on a regular basis." Meng Yao nodded over to Xue Yang. "If we deem him safe to be in society, believe that he is able to live peacefully and without incident, these terms will be fulfilled."
"No problem." Xue Yang attempted to wink, fluttering his eyelashes at Song Lan, sidling up to press against his arm. "Sounds like something we can accomplish together, right husband?"
After blinking away a blank expression, Song Lan glowered and fired back, "You don't get a choice."
"Enough," Xiao Xingchen said, before Xue Yang could retaliate. He spoke delicately to Xue Yang. "I'm sure you understand what is expected of you."
"Oh, of course, Daozhang Xiao Xingchen," Xue Yang said with a wink. "Don't worry, I'll be good." He looked coyly up at Xiao Xingchen from underneath his dark, long lashes. He really did look much younger than he actually was, though his sharp but delicate bone structure was marred by sunken eyes. At the right angle, Xiao Xingchen could see a harrowed expression hidden behind the smirk.
A cold feeling squirmed through Xiao Xingchen's gut.
"Very well then, you can go. We'll send Su Minshan and Jin Zixun with you to stand guard. Xiao Xingchen," Meng Yao said, bowing. Xiao Xingchen returned it. "Song Lan," he said to Song Lan, who nodded. Meng Yao turned to Xue Yang. "Chengmei," he said amicably.
Xue Yang made a face, but it had no heat behind it. He even nodded goodbye. "Thank you," he said.
It was oddly sweet.
Afterwards, despite there being more people inside the lab than ever, Xiao Xingchen hadn't ever heard it so quiet.
Song Lan and Xue Yang were still examining each other, faces colored with the same shade of suspicion. Xiao Xingchen supposed he should be concerned, but it made his heart kick against his ribs. His stomach gave a funny flip.
To lighten things up, Xiao Xingchen asked, "Did you take the bullet train here?"
Xue Yang tore his eyes away from Song Lan's face and retrained his gaze onto Xiao Xingchen. His expression cleared up considerably, like clouds parting after a storm. "We took one of the underground tunnels." His face lit up, teeth poking over his lips. "They transport prisoners that way to reduce chances of escape. I would think you'd know that."
"I wasn't sure if they would make concessions or not, considering the—uniqueness of the situation."
"Don't worry, as it turns out, I'm not special." Xue Yang brushed past Song Lan, eyes roving over the interior of the lab. Scanning inside the cabinets. Leaning over to sniff at an odd, thick transparent liquid in a large marble dish. His head cocked to the side. "What exactly do you need a lab for?"
Xiao Xingchen held his hand over his mouth while he laughed. Song Lan gave him a strange look, but said nothing. "I just like it, that’s all." Xiao Xingchen shrugged. "They gave me an office, but I saw these glass cabinets, and the way this sink is set up, I don't know. It always reminded me of being in a science class. I got a coat the next day." He grabbed the lapels and did a half-turn, showing it off. A gleeful thrill at Xue Yang's approving smile.
Peering into the marble dish again, Xue Yang threw a suspicious look Xiao Xingchen's way. "What are you making?"
"Well, it could be one of a few things." Xiao Xingchen crossed the room to lean over next to Xue Yang, their heads close together over the counter. "I won't truly know until it's done."
Song Lan cleared his throat behind them.
Xue Yang's bright face turned to greet him. "Getting lonely? Don't tell me you're codependent already?"
"We really should get going," Song Lan said, fingers twitching at his sides. "The train runs in limited intervals because of the incident last week."
Su Minshan came up next to them to grab Xue Yang by the wrists and the back of his neck, holding him by Song Lan as they all walked to the door at the other side of the room. Xiao Xingchen flipped off the lights, but kept on his coat. He liked the way Xue Yang looked at him with it on.
"'The incident', huh?" Xue Yang perked up even as he was grabbed. "Is that the nice, cleaned-up version of the story about the group that splattered themselves in front of the train? Holding hands and everything, walking calmly to their deaths?"
Song Lan's mouth twitched. Xiao Xingchen bit his bottom lip and said nothing.
The exit of the lab led to a dark hallway. A cacophony of noise greeted them: gears whooshing, electronics whirring awake as they walked by. The lights clicked on as they passed, illuminating the way.
The heels of Xiao Xingchen's shoes clicked in the cavernous hallway, on the mirror-shine linoleum of the floor. Sharp in comparison to the thudding of the others' steps behind him. Xue Yang on his left, Song Lan on his right. The click click click of them matched the thudding of his heartbeat, so strong he could feel it in his neck.
When they reached the end, Xiao Xingchen took one last peek behind him. It had been a while since so many people were crowded together in these halls.
The corner of his eye caught Xue Yang. Glancing at the lights above. It was a moth and he was a cat, and he wrinkled his forehead suspiciously at it.
Xiao Xingchen turned his gaze onto Song Lan.
Still tense. Spine stock-straight, shoulders up near his ears. He bounced very, very slightly on the balls of his feet, in such small increments that no one could have noticed but him. Song Lan only did it when he was nervous, which had once been unthinkable to Xiao Xingchen.
This is the last one. It rang in his head. Carried him across those last few feet and out the door, onto the platform waiting for them.
He waved his key card, the panel beeped, and the door slid open.
Getting to the train was a journey. Composed of a series of platforms controlled by key card-activated panels set inside the crisp, white walls at each stop. Xiao Xingchen swiped his card over the first shiny, silver plate.
A second platform from the other side of the room started to move, shifting towards them like a moving sidewalk. Song Lan directed them all onto it, and with another wave of his card, it continued on.
Taking care to glance surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye. He saw a sliver of Xue Yang, squinting at all of it with an air of suspicion, but his face told Xiao Xingchen he was begrudgingly impressed. "What the fuck is all of this?"
Xiao Xingchen turned the rest of the way to face him. He gave a little shrug. Casual. "The bullet train," he said. Like it was obvious.
"It's a specialized service for Jin personnel," Song Lan explained. Firing a fleeting glance towards Xiao Xingchen. "High security platforms to take us to living quarters a few miles outside of the city."
"Fancy," said Xue Yang, dismissively. His eyes traveled along the length of the ceiling, following a stack of platforms above them, each being shuffled to their respective destinations. "How much do you suppose it took to make all of this? How many years?"
Song Lan hesitated. The questions nearly made Xiao Xingchen stop as well. "For the most part, everything was in working order when we arrived here. That was about six months ago."
"Hmm," Xue Yang hummed, and left it at that. Unease crept up Xiao Xingchen's back, settled at the knob of his spine. He and Song Lan looked at each other.
"Why do you ask?" Xiao Xingchen played with the lapel of his coat.
A glint of something flickered behind Xue Yang's pupils. "Just curious," he said innocently.
Before Xiao Xingchen could think about it too long, they reached the final stage before the train, a waiting room with another checkpoint. A-Qing was waiting, bored, twirling a pencil in between her fingers. She brightened and nodded at Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, giving the briefest of glances at their badges, then looking at Xue Yang with a smirk.
"So, you're the wife?"
"Behave," Song Lan said. He was never harsh with her, but he said these words with force. "Be sure to let Lan Xichen know he'll need a badge made. I already told him we should all be scanned in at the same time."
"Possessive," Xue Yang teased under his breath. Xiao Xingchen brought his hand up to his mouth again to hide his laugh.
He'd dealt with charming people before. Sometimes he indulged a little more than was necessary, to Song Lan's chagrin. Xiao Xingchen knew Xue Yang was going to be trouble. The troublesome ones were the ones that often got Song Lan the most riled up. Xiao Xingchen normally enjoyed seeing it. It meant that Song Lan was feeling something other than fear.
So when Song Lan snapped up with a scowl etched on his face, Xiao Xingchen couldn't help matching Xue Yang's smile.
"Yeah, I'm the wife. What are you, the annoying chihuahua always barking when someone knocks at the door?"
A-Qing rolled her eyes, stuck her tongue out at him.
"Enough," Song Lan commanded, more impatiently. He stood between them, a solid, impenetrable wall. He nodded towards Xiao Xingchen again. "Let's go."
"Come on, Xue Yang," Xiao Xingchen said, with the tone one might call out to a dog.
He watched the corners of Xue Yang's eyes twitch, the coiling of muscle that shot down the length of his back, like he was sticking up spikes, forming a shell.
He recovered quickly, the tension seeping out of his limbs gradually.
"Sure thing, Xiao Xingchen," he said, Su Minshan kicking him forward when he continued to stare instead of walk.
Xiao Xingchen absentmindedly patted A-Qing's head as they left, and replied, "You can just call me Xingchen."
~*~
The first half of the train ride was something that Xiao Xingchen wished he could replay in his mind over and over again.
For whatever reason, the whirring of the engine and inertia was soothing to Song Lan, who let his eyes flutter shut as the train started moving. To be fair, Xiao Xingchen thought, he had been fretting for quite a while today. There were limited opportunities for Xue Yang to escape: any route would have him plunging to a sure death.
So, Xiao Xingchen let Song Lan sleep.
His attention drifted to Xue Yang, twisted in his seat, perched on his knees. Xue Yang peered out the window as blackness swirled outside of them. Brief glints of golden light shot past at the top and bottom, glaring off of his glossy eyes.
"Are we in a tunnel?"
His voice was strangely hushed, like a child seeing outside of his home for the first time. He stopped short of pressing his cheek against the glass.
Xiao Xingchen smiled at it. "For now. We reach a point in the track about halfway where the city is visible underneath. Well." He stopped, and his smile fell. "You know. It would have been."
"Yeah." Xue Yang flopped into his seat again, suddenly uninterested in what lay outside the train. Probably for the best. Not much changed out there. "So," Xue Yang drawled. "How did you two end up getting such cushy jobs, anyway? I heard you kind of showed up."
Hair prickled at the back of Xiao Xingchen's neck. "There was more to it then that." He looked at his hands. "Maybe they didn't find it necessary to tell you."
"Wonder why that is. I'm not such a bad guy."
Xiao Xingchen glanced at him with new eyes, speaking the words he had been trying to push aside to another, hidden part of his mind for weeks. "You killed an entire village of people."
When Xue Yang glanced back at Xiao Xingchen, he shot up in age. A cloud of darkness swirling behind his eyes. The childlike splendor he displayed while practically mashed up against the window dissipated in an instant.
"And you think I deserve lifetime imprisonment? Do you know for a fact they didn't deserve it?" Xue Yang asked it in the exact same flat tone. Xiao Xingchen continued to stare. "Of course not. You don't know anything."
He flipped back around towards the window, though he didn't peer out of it this time. His knees drew up in front of himself and fell to the side, resting on the wall of the train.
Xiao Xingchen's chest grew heavy, but he let Xue Yang sulk. They'd go through corrections of his behavior later.
The rest of the ride was quiet. The bump of the track moving from tunnel to city startled Song Lan awake. The darkness outside gave way to a more artificially-lit, navy-blue sky.
It was beautiful at this hour. Xiao Xingchen wondered if Xue Yang would let them show him next time.
The entire ride took about twenty minutes, but this one seemed to stretch out for hours. Sweet relief plunged into his gut as the exit tone sounded.
"We'll take it from here," Song Lan said to Su Minshan and Jin Zixun, who bowed and sat back down. Song Lan slid his hand around Xue Yang's arm and pulled him up. "Welcome home."
As he escorted them off, unease shook Xiao Xingchen's chest. But Xue Yang didn't seem to mind the rough way Song Lan handled him. In fact, a grin, something genuine, alive, slipped onto his face.
Xiao Xingchen personally felt the building they were given to reside in was quite intimidating—tall, dark, covered in tinted, reflective glass. It loomed creepily against the skyline, lights flashing at the top. Another, smaller building for storage supplies set next to it. When Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan first arrived, he had been reminded of a predator about to strike.
Xue Yang remained unfazed. Like he didn't even see the building. Another large, shiny object with no meaning to him. He was looking at his restrained wrists, at the sight of Song Lan's large hands spanning around them.
"Not very romantic, are you? No big gestures or anything?"
Song Lan scowled. "What do you want me to do, carry you?"
At the rising of Xue Yang's eyebrows, Song Lan scoffed. "Nothing is wrong with your legs, last time I checked. Unless you want there to be."
"Anything to get you to carry me," Xue Yang said softly, batting his eyelashes.
Song Lan's cheeks went pink, but his scowl lost a bit of its thunder.
The inside of the house was more welcoming. A stark contrast from the dreary outside, everything from the front hall down to the living room to the grand dining room next to the ostentatious kitchen blooming with bright, white light.
Xue Yang hissed. He attempted to shield his eyes with his hand, which was, unfortunately, still being held by Song Lan, who was unprepared and rocketed forward.
"Relax," Song Lan grumbled, shoving him away once he heard Xiao Xingchen latching the door behind them. "You'll get used to it."
"Out of all the things I was told about coming over here, I wouldn't have thought to bring a pair of sunglasses." Xue Yang strolled ahead of them, glancing up at the tall, gilded ceiling. He blinked rapidly as the mouth of the hall gave way to the spacious living room, furnished with white and black sectionals in the separate corners.
Xiao Xingchen's skin itched as Xue Yang looked around, uncomfortable at the silence that filled the room. He couldn't help speaking, "We have a room for you, if you'd like to see it. You don't have to come to bed with us the first night. I understand you might need some time alone to adjust."
Xue Yang wandered around, hands clasped behind his back, analyzing his surroundings. Sniffing around like a new cat. He walked to the window seat and ran his fingers along the fine wallpaper, slipped them down the columns surrounding the windows. He looked out at the view, lights from neighboring buildings reflecting in his eyes. Milk-white glittering among inky black.
"How come it doesn't show beyond the city?"
Xiao Xingchen gingerly crossed the room, glancing from behind the gauzy black curtain. "It's an artificial wall," he explained. "It keeps out the elements the best it can. Sometimes it can actually produce stars."
"Stars? You can see the sun?" Xue Yang's eyebrows raised in surprise.
Xiao Xingchen honestly didn't know. Lan Wangji had tried to explain it to him once, but it fled his mind as quick as it entered. "Something like that."
Xue Yang took in that information, and then scoffed. Tore away from Xiao Xingchen and the window with a stormy frown. He crossed his arms. "So where's your bedroom?"
Regarding him carefully, Song Lan nodded toward the left down the hallway. Watched him bound away, ponytail swinging behind him as he walked. Hips not swishing anymore. His flirtatious nature snatched away in a second.
Xiao Xingchen rested his hand on Song Lan's shoulder. Gently urged him forward.
Like the rest of the house, the bedroom was kept minimal. It was the largest model manufactured in the city, specifically crafted so that Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan could do their work. It stretched nearly the entire width of the room, leaving only a few feet of space on either side. Two large, tall, marble end tables sat in the corners. Xue Yang glanced curiously at the chair with cuffs at the ankles.
It was cute. Xiao Xingchen huffed out a little laugh. "Not intimidated, are you?"
Turning back towards them, Xue Yang appeared surprisingly calm. It was typical for clients to walk through the place looking overwhelmed, but this was—different. So different. Taking his time, strolling the perimeter like he was touring a home for sale instead of being kept against his will.
Xue Yang grinned at Xiao Xingchen, nearly a leer.
"Not at all. I think this is going to be fun."