Chapter Text
1 - A Scandalous Discovery
It had always been no secret that Senju Tobirama was an austere man who could never be bothered with niceties. His respect was hard-earned, and he had no patience for fools. Those were well-known facts to the inhabitants of the fledgling Konoha. Less known had been his fondness for children, as most clans were surprised to see him readily volunteer his time to teach a group of kids from the Academy – even more so when the latest addition to his ragtag team had been an Uchiha.
“I thought the Uchiha were the Senju’s sworn enemies?” enquired Yamanaka Yousei during a coffee break as he learnt that his boss would soon need a cleared schedule to train the kids and introduce the newcomer.
The Yamanaka had always taken care to distance themselves from the feuding clans, acting as a silent audience. They kept tabs of what was happening punctually, but never cared to delve too deeply into the Senju and Uchiha’s grievances – the two clans were too destructive for the Yamanaka to mingle with, as they preferred the pragmatism of the Nara or the straightforwardness of the Hatake with whom they often traded at the turn of seasons. Both Senju and Uchiha were viewed as warmongers, and the more pacifist clans would rather leave them alone than deal with their bloodthirstiness – in his youth, Yousei’s grandmother always used to spit in the direction of the two clans’ lands when she’d step out of her home, as if to ward off some evil, grumbling about how Senju and Uchiha were monsters raised only to slaughter.
So it was no wonder that Yousei had been out of the loop on the latest developments between the two clans, though it didn’t stop Tobirama from sending him the most judgmental look he could muster as he drawled: “Our clans have been at peace for a good five years before we decided to found Konoha.”
Yousei sputtered, not used to being on the receiving end of Tobirama’s chilling disdain – he was his personal secretary, a post only given to someone deemed worthy of the finicky Senju’s trust. Still, he felt justified in his shock. “Five yea—How did our spies miss that?!”
Tobirama shrugged, focusing back on his papers as he pushed his tea away, signalling the end of the break. “Either we did too good a job at hiding it, or your spies are really not cut out for this line of work.” He paused to shoot a contemplative look at the blond man before nodding resolutely to himself. “Remind me to review our intelligence corps.”
“You’re so harsh, Tobirama-san…” Yousei pouted, but still perused the man’s agenda to add the new task. If his fellow clansmen actually managed to miss something as huge as a five-year-long ceasefire between the two infamous clans, perhaps letting them lead the intelligence department of the village was indeed not the best idea. “Hm, you have that usual free slot at 11, if that suits you. It might be a bit tight on your schedule since you already booked a meeting at 12.15 with the Civilian Council, but I’m sure you can make it work, boss!” As he talked, Yousei was already writing down the new appointment, sure that the workaholic Senju would agree to the time as he always did. Asking had become a mere formality.
“No,” Tobirama said, earning a surprised look from his secretary, but he paid it no mind, distracted as he was by the legislative papers the Civilian Council had sent him in prior of their noon meeting. “Always keep that slot free, I usually have lunch with my wife at that time.”
It was only his quick reflexes that saved his documents as coffee was sprayed his way, Yousei chocking on his mouthful. “Your WHAT?”
“You’re cleaning this up,” his boss said, disgust written plain as day on his face. He stood up and collected his papers, clearly annoyed as he made his way to the door.
Yousei sputtered, torn between chasing after his boss to satiate his curiosity and cleaning up the mess he made. Swearing, he started to quickly dab at the coffee with his own shirt, yelling after Tobirama’s retreating back. “Wait boss, what wife?!”
(1.5 - A lunch between husband and wife
Madara had been enjoying her break spent with her husband, but clearly she needed to have her hearing checked because surely, she had misheard what her dear little dove just said.
Chopsticks still held in mid-air between her plate and her mouth, she blinked. “Beg your pardon?”
Tobirama picked up a new sashimi and heartily bit into it. “I signed Kagami’s paperwork for the Academy, he’ll start lessons with his new teammates next week.” Then he put the rest of the sashimi in his mouth with a happy hum. “Very good,” he complimented her as a sidenote, eyes already seeking which piece of food he’d next shove down his gullet.
He didn’t pay attention when Madara put down her chopsticks, nor when she went dead silent. It should’ve been his first clue something was wrong because his wife was unable of keeping quiet – her chakra was always abuzz, and even when her mouth was shut, she’d let out big sighs, little hums, or would shuffle around.
It took him a few more moments to finally realise her usually sizzling-hot chakra had went ice-cold, a healthy dose of killing intent running down his spine. He looked up from his meal with wide eyes, meeting her glare unflinchingly.
“You signed Kagami’s paperwork.”
“…Yes?” he said through his mouthful of tamagoyaki.
“Without consulting me.”
Ah. He swallowed hastily, coughed a little as he almost choked and tried to salvage the situation.
“I can bring the papers after work if you’d like to peruse them, but don’t worry, I’ve already asked—”
Madara narrowed her eyes and he shut up, well aware of what that meant. She used to that on the battlefield when she was about to unleash a deadly technique.
But instead of having to dodge a punch through his ribcage, Tobirama dumbly sat there as his wife calmly stood up, picked both their bento boxes, and dumped them in the bin next to his desk.
“You don’t have my consent for enrolling him.”
“But—”
“Since you now have my opinion on the matter,” Madara spoke over him, voice saccharine sweet, “I’m sure you’ll see no inconvenient in telling Kagami the wonderful news.”
She turned away, opened the door and threw one last warning his way. “You better fix this.”
And with that, she slammed the door shut behind her. Flummoxed, Tobirama stared at the door, then at his trashcan, before sighing. He would certainly not fix anything. He crossed his arms, his good mood now gone. “Guess I won’t have homemade lunches for quite some time…”)
2 - A Dreadful Investigation
It was as if Yousei discovering his boss had a wife was the key to unlock the gossip mill in the village. Everyone wanted to know about the elusive spouse, watching the white-haired man with hawk eyes but never daring to actually interrogate him. Oddly enough, the man himself seemed unaware of being the focus of the village’s gossips, and Yousei didn’t dare ask more questions about his boss’ private life, having already been reprimanded once for his unprofessional behaviour.
But if Tobirama was unapproachable, his brother was the complete opposite, readily answering the nosy questions the young Yamanaka had for him. It had been between two debriefings, Yousei charged with making sure Hashirama went through all the papers Tobirama needed signed for the day, that a chance came to satiate his curiosity: Hashirama was willing to do anything if it meant not having to work.
“Ah yes, yes!” the man said eagerly, pushing his stack of papers aside. “Tobirama is so smitten that you wouldn’t believe his marriage was an accident.”
“An accident?” the assistant repeated, dumbfounded. “How can you marry by accident?!”
“Oh that’s a fun story, actually! He entered a Hunt without knowing—crossed into the delimited boundaries right as the Daimyo was overseeing his cousin’s ceremony. At first Tobirama wanted the marriage to be annulled but we couldn’t afford to offend the Daimyo who had been so kind as to bless their marriage himself, you know?”
No, Yousei didn’t know, and he craved for more, even if Hashirama was in truth a crap story teller – the man gave everything and nothing, it was always frustrating to hear him tell a story. Yousei was about to practically beg the Hokage for more crumbs but was interrupted by the Uchiha clan head who brutally chucked a scroll at Hashirama’s forehead, the man not even bothering to dodge. Smart man. He certainly guessed that if he did, the retaliation would hurt more.
“This is not the scroll I repeatedly asked you to revise and sign, Hashirama,” the woman growled, a vein popping on her left temple.
“Ah, haha, ha… um, er, sorry Madara, I must have messed up—But!” At that, he turned towards his brother’s secretary, eyes pleading. “But I’m busy with Tobirama’s latest legislative papers right now, eh Yousei-san?!”
“Ah—why, yes,” the blond man edged as he hastily picked up the stack of papers, almost tearing out of Hashirama’s grasp the sheet he was clinging to as if it was a shield. “But Hokage-sama was near done anyway, I’m sure Tobirama-san won’t mind it if I come back later to get the rest of this stack signed so that our Honorable leader can give Uchiha-sama his full attention!”
The Hokage looked at him with betrayal in his eyes and Yousei shrugged, unrepentant. No way was he getting between the two powerhouses, even more so when Madara was in such a foul mood. Tobirama was scary, true, and he’d scold him for failing the simple task of collecting signatures, but he was also used to being disappointed. The Uchiha matriarch, on the other hand… yeesh! He once saw her punch someone through four concrete walls. Four. Over an accidental bump in a crowded corridor. She was the reason corridors’ flux were now strictly regulated and everyone wore light armor while in the Tower. No way was he getting on her bad side just to avoid his boss’s judgmental glare.
Also, everyone who kept an ear out for gossip knew that Madara and Hashirama were quite possibly involved in a steamy affair. Yousei would not get in the path of true love. True lust. True whatever bullshit was happening between the two chakra monsters. Because Yousei actually liked being alive, thank you very much. So if Uchiha Madara wanted some alone time with their Hokage, who was he to deny her?
Scurrying out of the office like a scared mouse, Yousei swore that he’d stay far away from the Senju-Uchiha drama, his ears already ringing as Madara’s furious yells travelled down the corridor.
His resolve lasted only three hours before he picked up on whispers claiming his boss had been sealed out of his lab for the day. Curious, Yousei popped his head into the man’s office and true enough, Tobirama was pacing around the room, furious as he ranted about not being able to enter his own lab.
“This is preposterous,” he growled, jabbing a finger at Mito who was sitting primly at his desk, fanning herself. “This is my lab, therefore only I can grant or deny access!”
Mito hummed noncommittally, and Tobirama stopped in his tracks, frowning deeply as he considered her. “Give me the counterseal.”
“What counterseal?” the woman asked innocently.
“Ane-ue! I know my wife – she’s incapable of the subtlety and finesse such a seal requires! So give me the counterseal to open my lab.”
Flicking her fan shut, Mito stood up and brushed off her kimono. “No.” Before Tobirama could yell in outrage, she made her way to the door, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at the shamelessly eavesdropping Yamanaka. “I repaid a favor I owed your wife, and I don’t wish to deal with her should I give you my help. She’s a brute!” the woman sniffed, disdainful. “You’re on your own, Otouto. Good day.”
And like that, Tobirama was left to fume alone, glaring balefully at the note that had been left on his lab’s door. ‘Try me if you dare’, it simply read.
“Damn boss, that sounds scary,” Yousei mumbled as he looked over the man’s shoulder, running out of the office with a yelp when the glare was directed his way. Smitten my ass, the blond man thought with teary eyes, afraid Tobirama will chase after him to relieve his anger on him through an epic smack down falsely called ‘training’. Yousei really hoped he’d never get to meet his boss’s wife. She had to really be crazy to go against a man as fearsome as Tobirama!
(2.5 - A row between leader and subordinate
“I get that you’re mad at me—”
“Mad doesn’t begin to cover how I feel—”
“—but you don’t get to interfere with my work like this, Madara! I have volatile experiments in that lab that require my attention!”
This was apparently the wrong thing to say because she whirled around to face him, and he knew that had she had her gunbai at hand, she would be pointing it at his neck. “Oh so I don’t get to interfere with your work but you get to interfere with my son’s life?”
This made him twitch. “Our son”, he corrected firmly, which made her fume even more.
“My son,” she hissed, eyes burning with anger but still a dark grey. “My heir,” she reminded him, driving home the fact that Kagami will forever be hers more than he’d ever be his. “It seems you forgot that I am your clan head before being your wife—you don’t get to dictate what my heir can or cannot do. Only I have this right, and my word is law. So you better abide, Tobirama.”
“Then, Uchiha-sama,” he said with a sneer and she recoiled like he struck her, “I shall in turn remind you that your laws do not outweigh those of Konoha. We’re part of a military village and that entails following new rules well above your power. Kagami made the choice to join the Academy. And as required by the village laws, one parent gave their agreement.”
He then bowed perfectly as he kept his cold eyes locked on hers. “Thus this lowly one shall ask for your forgiveness, Uchiha-sama, as this one cannot abide by your orders. Whatever punishment Uchiha-sama sees fit will be accepted with utmost reverence.”
The words might have been formal and expected from a disobedient clansman cowering before their esteemed leader, but in her husband’s mouth they were meant as a mockery and a clear challenge.
With a growl, she turned away from him. “Fuck you too, Tobirama.”
That night and all the ones after, he slept on the couch.)
3 - A Chaotic Meeting
It was not often that Tobirama was present in meetings solely involving clan heads. He did not officially represent a clan, and thus had no authority. But he still was in charge of the village’s treasury, meaning that each time the council wanted to take a risky economic decision, they had to first convince Tobirama. He was stringy with the village’s money, and so far, of the three economic meetings the village had since its creation almost two years ago, none had met his approval.
“This is ridiculous!” Hyuuga Hisato growled, slamming a hand down on the papers laid out in front of him. “We’ve reviewed this proposal eight times before this meeting—eight! At your request! And still you refuse to pass it?”
Unimpressed, Tobirama shrugged. “Eight times and yet here I am, still utterly baffled by your stupidity. I see I’ve wasted my time offering you my counsel as there has been no improvement since the first draft. In fact,” he flipped through the papers with contempt, “I’m pretty sure this proposal got worse – did you really think increasing the military budget by 120% would be viable?”
There was a scoff from the head of the table where Hashirama and Madara were seating, sharing the papers between them and whispering to each other as they were often wont to do during meetings, shamelessly following each other’s votes.
“Something you’d like to add, Uchiha-sama ?”
Madara rose an eyebrow at Tobirama’s biting tone before leaning forward, shooting him a look of clear disdain. “Actually, yes. While I’m loathe to admit it, I have to agree with Hyuuga-dono: we must pass the law at some point, we can’t follow the economic rules that were set two years ago now that the village has expanded and war is brewing in the east.”
Unaffected, Tobirama splayed his hands, palms out as he gestured to all the documents spread on the table. “If you want me to validate the new budget, then come up with a more compelling case than the one you’ve made so far.”
This got several groans from the Council, and the meeting got more heated as more clan heads tried to reason with the stubborn treasurer.
Fed-up, Hisato finally threw his hands up. “Well if you’re so set, why don’t you draft the proposal yourself Tobirama-san?!”
Tobirama merely shrugged. “If you are all in agreement, I’ll gladly be in charge of drawing the new budget from now on and spare us all this kind of nonsense.”
“No offense Tobirama-san, but having the Senju in charge of both the village’s leadership as well as our finances makes me ill-at-ease,” Nara Shikabane intervened, a placid smile fixed on her lips. She’d rather have all the Council work out the budget than give that much power to one clan known not so long ago for its bloody history.
Madara heaved herself out of her seat with a huff, ready to go. “Don’t worry, Nara-dono. Tobirama has been in charge of our clan’s finances for quite some years now and has yet to be anything but impartial despite his Senju heritage – even when it means going against his clan head’s demands.” At that, she shot a nasty glare to the white-haired man who rolled his eyes and started picking up his own papers.
“You flatter me, Uchiha-sama. I’m only doing my duty as the accountant of our esteemed clan.”
“If only you could be so diligent with your other duties,” she scoffed under her breath as she strode out of the room, waving distractedly at her peers. “If that’s settled, I have other matters to attend.”
Utter silence followed her declaration as she left, interrupted only by Hashirama humming a happy tune under his breath as he gathered all his brushes and ink.
With a clap of his hands, Tobirama brought the attention back to him “Great. In that case, we’ll reconvene tomorrow morning.”
Overcoming her surprise, the Nara clan head stretched her arms and got up, unbothered by the chaos that had been unleashed within the room. “You really expect to have the proposal drawn by that?”
“Of course, I’ve been working on it as I had no doubt the Council would fail to meet my simple expectations.”
This brought Hisato out of his stupor. “Must your brother always be so rude, Hokage-sama?!” he sputtered, his face turning an unfetching puce. “Rein him in!”
“Ah, well-ah—I mean he’s not my clansman anymore, I don’t really have authority—”
At that, Inuzuka Inoue barked a laugh. “As if you could ever rein him in to begin with!” Turning to Tobirama, he grinned toothily, pointing his closed fan at him. “Say, say Tobirama-kun! Does this mean we now need do buddy up to Uchiha-dono if we require your sealing services? Is she like your esteemed brother? Would sake be enough to mellow her down?”
Rolling his eyes and choosing to ignore everyone, Tobirama made his way out of the meeting room, nodding his thanks at Shikabane who had been holding the door open for him.
“So,” she started amicably, eyes glinting with amusement, “how long ago did you marry into the Uchiha?”
“Feels like an eternity ago,” Tobirama grunted.
“Aah, and here I was, hoping you’d marry my niece!”
“… she’s ten.”
“Hey, you’d still be good as new ten years from now! Guess we’ll have to settle for another genius. Tell me, any good matches within the Uchiha clan? I feel like this Hikaku pal wouldn’t be half bad…”
Sighing, Tobirama wished life would go back to normal before everyone seemed so obsessed with his marriage.
(3.5 - A piece of advice from a brother and a son
Every attempt to talk with Madara out of work was met with iciness. Hashirama was the first to be brave enough to mention it while having tea with his younger brother.
“It feels like the start of your marriage,” he said with an awkward smile, clearly ill at ease. “You were both so explosive back then, we all thought we’d one day wake up to find one of you had murdered the other…”
Sighing, Tobirama placed his tea-cup down as he crossed his arms, reclining in his seat. “She can be so vexing,” he muttered with a click of the tongue. “Sometimes I wonder if she’s like this just to drive me crazy.”
“Well, to be fair, you’re not a ray of sunshine either…” Hashirama said in his teacup, deftly avoiding his brother’s eyes. “You should make up with her—she always gets on my case when you two are fighting,” he whined, turning teary. “She threw scrolls at me the other day!”
With a sneer, Tobirama drained his tea-cup and slammed it back down on its delicate saucer. “I’ve got nothing to apologize for. I will not make the first move.”
He soon ate back his words when faced with his son’s disappointed eyes as Madara yet again ignored him at dinner and went to bed without a word. He was ready to hunker down on the couch once again when Kagami came to him, chewing on his lips.
“Dad,” the boy started in the same kind of tone Tobirama would use when trying to explain to Kagami’s younger cousins why eating rocks was a bad idea, “you always tell me it’s not nice to go to bed angry… you should make up with mom.” He kissed his father on the cheek before darting back to his room, then backtracked a little to frown at him, hands on his hips. “And uncle Izuna said he’d tan your butt if you make mom cry!” Nodding to himself, pleased with his message, Kagami smiled again, waved at his dad, and disappeared down the corridor.
It took hours before Tobirama swallowed his pride and followed his son’s advice, slipping into their bedroom, unsurprised to see that Madara was still awake. The bags under her eyes had darkened these last few days, and it made something in his heart twinged.
She didn’t say anything when he joined her under their blanket, nor did she recoil when he tentatively wrapped his arms around her, brushing his nose against her nape.
No words were exchanged, but when her fingers laced with his own over her stomach, Tobirama knew things would eventually be alright.)
4 - An Awful Assumption
“He’s an Uchiha!! He never told me!”
“Well… Tobirama-san is a private guy, you can’t really fault him…”
Nara Morihiro was not an outstanding shinobi. He was adequate at his job, never strove to be better and join the higher ranks, and that was fine by him. He was quite happy when he’d been assigned as an instructor at the Academy, not having to deal with the administrative nightmare that was a job at the Tower.
Morihiro just liked the simplicity of life – a good drink, a good pastry, and a good friend to pass the time with was all he needed to have a perfectly good day.
But when that friend was Yamanaka Yousei, unfortunately, a perfectly good day often turned into a “why did I wake up this morning” day.
Yousei was a gossip of the worst kind, unable to let things go and always needing to play detectives to satiate his curiosity. Morihiro tended to play the moral compass for his friend – but usually to no avail.
Hence why he was there, sitting at a charming little tea house tended by an elderly Akimichi, listening to Yousei whining about his boss’s secret life.
“Now I understand why he didn’t blink at adding the little Uchiha heir to his team… And now that I think about it, he’s really well respected within the Uchiha clan… like, really, reaaaally well respected.”
“Well, he is the Hokage’s brother – and even without that, he’d still be due respect for his feats on the battlefield.”
Pondering, the blond man hummed under his breath, brows furrowing. “Hmm… nah, there gotta be something else…” The Uchiha were aloof but respected the hierarchy as much as any other clan, but the respect they had for Tobirama went beyond what other clans showed. But…There was a rumour stating he once saved Izuna’s life… eyes widening, he gasped, and Morihiro groaned.
“Yousei, I don’t like that look of yours…”
“Mori, hear me out.”
“Nope.”
“Mori! I know who Tobirama is married to, and it makes SO MUCH SENSE!”
With a sigh, Morihiro gave up and took up a pastry to nibble on, listening with one ear to his friend’s diatribe.
“He’s got to be married to Izuna. It’s so obvious now that I think about it! They’re obviously star-crossed lovers and-and-and ohmygodMoriiii!” There, Yousei leant forward, almost mushing their noses together as he harshly whispered: “I think Izuna is actually a woman. Raised like a man, for obvious reasons, and Tobirama discovered the well-kept secret and that’s how they fell in love!”
Bringing his hands to his face to muffled his excited squeal, Yousei wiggled around like a wet noodle, barely able to restrain himself from launching at his friend to shake him like a tree.
Morihiro could only stare at him with acute tiredness, wondering why he inflicted this to himself on such a nice day. “Hate to rain on your parade, but I’m pretty sure Izuna-san is indeed a man.” He picked a new flaky pastry to dunk into his tea. “Went to the onsen together once,” he added, hoping this would help contain his friend’s madness.
But Yousei slammed his hands on the table, almost frothing at the mouth. “HENGE, MAN! HENGE! OR-OR-GENJUTSU!”
“…Whatever, Yousei. Here, try this one, it has pistachios in it.”
The next morning, Morihiro wasn’t surprised to learn that Yousei made a fool of himself by calling Izuna “my lady” to his face. He was still nursing a sore jaw when they crossed path in the archives on the afternoon, Yamanaka grumbling as he fetched the scrolls his boss needed.
“It was so logical though,” he whined, dragging his feet in defeat as he followed his friend around.
Morihiro snorted, checking his own books out of the archives. “Yeah, so, so logical. It’s obvious that Izuna-san punched you to protect his cover.”
He expected a sheepish laugh as his friend realised how dumb he had been. Instead, the shuffling feet behind him had stopped, and Morihiro turned around with dread.
Yousei was looking at him as if he had discovered the greatest mysteries of the universe, eyes blown wide.
“Yousei, no—”
“Mori, you absolute genius! You’re right, that’s got to be it!”
“Ugh, I give up…”
(4.5 - A night between a wolf and a vixen
Make up sex was always something Tobirama looked forward to. It reminded him of their first months together when they would jump each other’s bones out of sheer frustration, biting and fighting as they released the tension between them.
They liked it rough, and were not afraid to seek it.
Pinned on his back by his wife’s weight as she rode him viciously to the point of almost hurting him, he grabbed onto her waist, holding tight enough to leave bruises behind as he met her thrust for thrust. When she snaked her hands around his wrists and abruptly shoved them above his head, he let her, groaning as he could feel her tightening around his cock.
He was nearing his peak when she bit his chin, and he sought her mouth, only for her to lean back.
“You’re going to rescind your signature, dove?”
“Wha?” he gurgled, bucking his hips up as she stopped all movements, her nails pricking into his wrists.
She trailed kisses down his throat and he stretched his neck to give her more space. “You’ll cancel Kagami’s Academy enrolment, won’t you?”
It took him a few seconds to finally register her words and he snorted. “No,” he said flatly, freeing his hands so that he could bring them back to her waist and lead them once again in a frantic pace.
But she clicked her tongue and got up from the bed. “Then you can get off on your own.”
He rose to his elbows, cock still standing proud as he looked forlornly at his wife’s swaying ass as she walked towards their bathroom. He really loved that ass. “What about you?” he asked petulantly. If he couldn’t get off, perhaps he could at least give her a helping hand – or tongue – and feel a bit satiated through her own climax.
“I can take care of myself,” she said with a little smirk as she went through familiar handseals. A clone popped up behind her, grabbing her breasts and bouncing them playfully before letting go and disappearing in the bathroom where his wife soon followed, shutting the door behind her.
Mouth suddenly dry, Tobirama laid there as he listened to his wife’s moans, flushed red.
He never knew Madara was open to having clones in the bedroom. They would definitely explore that idea later.)
5 - An Unexpected Development
One of the greatest wonder brought by the village was to see so many kids running around.
While some clans already had that kind of luxury, most major shinobi clans couldn’t afford letting kids be kids. Instead of throwing weapons, they now threw balls at each other, used their training to play pranks instead of killing, and laughed instead of crying from pain and grief.
“Such a heart-warming sight, isn’t it?” Akimichi Choujirou said, eyes alit with amusement as he watched a group of kids trying to walk up trees in the Academy courtyard.
Despite himself, Izuna smiled. “Hm. We built something great.” He reported his attention to the curriculum in his hand, flipping through it. “Aah, getting an education out of the battlefield… such a weird concept. Did you have time to come up with a nutrition plan for all the years?”
The Academy has only been up and running for a few months, and while some parents were still uneasy at the idea of sending their children there to be trained in the shinobi arts out of the familial cocoon, more and more were adhering to the principle now that more missions were sent to Konoha.
Due to his clan specialty, Choujirou had been made in charge of coming up with a nutrition plan to ensure all the kids could follow their training regimen without issue. To the general surprise, Izuna had been elected to be the first head of the Academy – stern but fair, he took to his new duty with gusto and his Sharingan came in handy when it came to helping the older kids with their Taijutsu or even learn new elemental techniques.
As they poured over the nutrition plan, Choujirou hummed thoughtfully, letting his gaze wander over the courtyard once more. “I think I’ll be sending my younger kids next spring. I heard from Hashirama-sama that his nephew would be starting tomorrow, right?”
Izuna chuckled warily, shoulders dropping. “Yeah, if his mother doesn’t burn the building down first…” And then, under his breath, “Fucking Tobirama, always making my life hard…”
Coughing politely, Choujirou ignored the last part and went back to focusing on the papers before him.
In the afternoon, he crossed path with a harried Tobirama whose secretary was drowning under piles of scrolls. Still, unable to contain his curiosity, Choujirou accosted him with a genial smile.
“Tobirama-san, how are you doing?”
The man angled his body away from him, a clear way to indicate he couldn’t stop for small talk. “Ah, Akimichi-sama, sorry I—”
Choujirou simply fell into step with the white-haired man, undeterred. He nodded at Yamanaka Yousei, and brought his attention back to the man he wanted to talk with. “I was at the Academy this morning and was quite awed by all the work done so far. I heard from your brother that your son would soon be starting there—it inspired me to send my youngest, too.”
There was some spluttering coming from Yousei and a strangled “Hold on, what—?” before he stumbled and went bowling down, scattering the scrolls around.
Tobirama and Choujirou both blinked at the clumsy secretary before shrugging and continuing onwards.
“My son recently turned six, I thought it was the perfect time to start his training in a safe environment, hence the Academy. Still need to convince his mother though.”
“Aah, mothers can be quite protective,” the older man sympathized. “Izuna-san is doing quite a good job filling in the teaching positions for the younger years, this should put her at ease, no?”
Tobirama scoffed loudly and redirected the conversation. “Say, what do you think about the curriculum for the first year students?”
The voices died down as they turned down the corridor, leaving Yousei in a heap on the floor, mind still reeling from the fact that his boss had reproduced.
Scrambling to his feet, scrolls haphazardly thrown together and back in the cradle of his arms, Yousei ran towards the Chuunin breakroom, bellowing “MORIIIII! MORI! I HAVE NEWS!”
(5.5 - A morning with a mother and a father
Madara watched with barely disguised distaste as her son prepared for the day, excitedly putting on a weapon pouch. When he struggled with the bandages supposed to wrap around his ankles, she huffed and knelt in front of him to lend him some help before Tobirama could even move a finger.
“You know,” she said, helping him with his sandals, “you can stay home if you want. I can train you.”
She checked his weapon pouch, unbuckled it and readjusted it so that it hung perfectly at his hip. Kagami shot her a bright smile, letting her pull and push at his clothes like a perfect doll.
“I know, but I wanna go! Aoi-chan told me they learnt how to throw two kunai at once!”
“Well I can teach you how to throw five.”
Kagami pouted. “It’s not the same. I’m the only kid you teach, it’s no fun!”
Any argument she could’ve come up with was cut off by Izuna popping his head through their entrance’s doorframe. “Ready to go, tyke?”
“Hn!”
A round of hugs and kisses later, Kagami was off for his first day at school, chatting excitedly with his uncle. Warm arms wrapped around her and with a weary sigh, Madara leant back against her husband, watching the silhouettes of her brother and son grow smaller.
“I’m still angry.”
“I know,” Tobirama said, arms tightening around her as he swayed them a little.
Eventually, she turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist, burrowing her face in his neck.
“I know you love him as fiercely as I do,” she said, acknowledging the hurtful words she had spat at the start of their row, “but you’re not a mother. You’ll never understand how gut-wrenching it is to see my baby grow apart from me when we used to be one.”
Tobirama didn’t say anything when he felt his collar grow damp. Just like him, Madara wasn’t the sort to acknowledge her pain. Instead, he brough a hand to her nape, pressing her further into him.
“I sheltered him with my own body,” she said in a barely concealed sniffle. “I brought him into this world through blood, sweat and tears, and it’s not to see him go the same way. He deserves honey, sun rays and flowers, not the taste of ash and steel permanently fixed on his tongue at only six.”
Detaching herself from him, Madara looked at him straight in the eyes, face set in a bitter frown as she softly punched his shoulder.
“I’m scared because this is out of my control. So I need you to let me be angry with you, I need you to fight with me, because at least this I can control; this I know how to deal with.”
Her hand slid down his arm and Tobirama caught it only to bring it against his chest where his heart was beating wildly. “You think I’m not scared?”
“Well you never look it…”
He chuckled, bumping his forehead against hers. “Madara,” he whispered, voice hoarse. “I’m scared out of my mind. I’ve been scared every damn second of each day since I held our son for the first time. But I’m not going to let fear cloud our lives.”
A kiss to her cheek, another to the corner of her lips. Small reassurances that everything would be okay.
“There are things we cannot escape as shinobi. Kagami made his choice, but it doesn’t mean I’ll let him unsupervised. Izuna agreed to put him on my team.”
Wide eyes looked back at him.
“But… the family rule—”
“We cheated the system.”
She punched him in the ribs and he bit back a groan as he slumped over her shoulder, winded.
“And you couldn’t have started with that?!”
“You didn’t want to listen to me!”
“Fuck’s sake, why am I still married to your unsufferable ass…”
“I should be the one asking tha—Ow!”)
+ 1 - A Masterfully Dropped-Bomb
“—all I’m saying is that as the Commanding Officer and a clan head of the Council, I should be allowed to cast two votes!”
This sent the room in an uproar as Hashirama tried to bring the calm back.
“How is it fair to the other clan heads? Only the Uchiha has such power, this is preposterous,” Hisato sneered.
“Well Uchiha-dono could permanently forfeit her vote as clan head, just like Hogake-sama did for the Senju clan,” Yamanaka Inosuke offered with a shrug.
Shouts of agreement were heard, soon drowned by Madara’s outraged yell: “And have the Uchiha not be allowed a voice when a vote not requiring the Commanding Officer’s presence is made? Absolutely not!”
“A proxy!” Hashirama said over the cacophony. “Madara, what do you say? Would a proxy be an adequate solution for you?”
Taking a few seconds to mull it over, Madara finally gave up, throwing her hands up. “Fine! I’ll let my husband vote in my stead,” she grumbled, clearly annoyed by the prospect.
This tickled everyone’s curiosity. Everyone knew the Uchiha matriarch was married, and everyone knew of her rambunctious heir, but no one had ever seen her elusive husband – some even wagered that she had gotten rid of him before the village was created so that she could conquer the Hokage’s heart and get even more power.
“Aah? But won’t that husband of yours just take your side? We’re back to square one here!” Inoue grinned, flicking his fan open to hide behind in case Madara decided to spit her vitriol at him.
Instead, she just laughed as Hashirama sheepishly nodded along. “Since when does Tobirama ever take my side when we disagree? Tch, I can already feel a headache coming…”
Inuzuka’s fan flicked shut to reveal a dropped jaw, Hyuuga choked on thin air as he grew red than pale, and Nara arched an eyebrow, impressed.
“Huh. That explains so many things.”
“EEEH??”
(+1.5 - A grossly happy ending witnessed by uncles
“Gross, they’re making lovey-eyes at each other.”
“Oh don’t be like that Izuna-kun, I think it’s sweet!”
“It ain’t sweet—FUCKING HELL STOP DEFILING MY SISTER IN FRONT OF MY ACADEMY!”
“Izuna-kun, it’s just a kiss!”
A dark glare was sent Hashirama’s way. “It starts with a kiss, it ends up with him balls deep inside her with a baby on the way.”
“Now you’re the one who’s being gross…”
“Hokage-sama,” Izuna drawled, mocking. “You’re aware Kagami wasn’t find in a patch of roses, right?”
“… There are things I wish to remain unaware of, thank you very much.”
“Well you ain’t gonna remain unaware for long if your brother doesn’t KEEP HIS HANDS OFF MY SISTER!” Body half hanging out of his window, Izuna sent an array of kunai towards the white-haired man currently squatting the Academy courtyard, waiting for his son to come out. “OI TOBIRAMA!” he hollered, growing red in the face with anger. “IT AIN’T CAUSE YOU’RE MARRIED THAT YOU GET TO DO STUFF TO HER!”
A middle finger was his only answer, and his Sharingan activated.
“That’s it, that fucker is going down.”)
OMAKE
“Hey Uncle, don't you think dad’s assistant is really weird?” Kagami asked out of the blue as he was spending some time with Izuna while his mom and dad were ‘making up’.
Izuna had to think for a second before the image of a blond man came to mind. His face instantly soured as he recalled their first and last encounter.
“Yeah, you can say that again brat.”
Kagami kicked his legs out, focused on his drawing. “You know, he kept chasing me through the village yesterday and asked me if you were my real mom or somethin’.”
There was a clink and the boy looked up from his work to see his uncle sharpening his katana. He blinked owlishly before tilting his head to the side. “You okay uncle?”
“Yeah, yeah. Just preparing to teach another lesson to a moron. Don’t worry, tyke.”