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You left the coffee shop and sighed deeply. “God bless those poor baristas who’ve had to listen to this horrible music on the loop probably since late October.” You thought to yourself as you tried not to slip on the snow. You hated Christmas. No one ever questioned it, even if they did, you didn’t feel the need to explain yourself to anyone. Christmas just brought back too many memories. And not bad ones, that was the point. That was the whole point. You wanted to go back, but it could never happen. Your dad turned from your best friend into your worst enemy. Your mum was trying to make it seem as if nothing’s changed. Your brother? Well, he didn’t want to pretend everything was alright. Your uncle? You didn’t even recognise him anymore, he completely destroyed himself with alcohol. Even if you were to be sat together at a table, it would just be a gathering of strangers. You refused to tarnish your good memories with the unnatural pleasantries and fake wishes. So, one day, you decided you hated Christmas. It was easier. It had its good sides. You always eagerly volunteered to work during holidays, and your co-workers loved you for it. You didn’t have to participate in the nerve-wracking game of frantic shopping the week before Christmas Eve. You didn’t have to cook anything. Hell, you could even eat frozen pizza if you wanted to. And you were paid double for working during the holidays. But the hurt always came whenever the work finished and you were left with echos of children singing carols and muffled laughter from the neighbours.
You didn’t know what it would look like this year, as this was the first Christmas in the new workplace. You’ve recently taken on a role of a business advisor at Stark Enterprises. You were quite surprised that Tony Stark, the Iron Man of all people, needed a business advisor, but you didn’t ask any questions. You did everything that was required of you, even if that meant getting coffee at times. The pay was good, so for all you cared, you could be asked to wash the dishes or do the laundry and you would not complain. Tony was a good boss. He always cared for your wellbeing, paid on time and made sure to check in on you whenever you worked from the office.
You went inside the building and swiped your card on the entrance to the elevator, triggering it to come down.
“Hi, Kurt, how do you like the snow?” You waved at the security guard.
“I quite enjoy it, thank you miss! Merry…” The elevator’s door started closing and the man’s greeting was cut short, thank god.
You reached the 10th floor and headed to Pepper’s office. She looked like she was on an important call, so you wanted to put her decaf Americano on the desk and leave her to it, but she finished her conversation and put her phone on the desk.
“Thank you, honey, it’s good to see you! Oh, you must be freezing, what are those shoes?!” She looked at your sneakers, that were definitely not designed for the snow.
“I’m just not too good at winter shopping, it’s fine, they’re surprisingly warm, don’t worry.” You lied, your feet were freezing.
“Y/n, please, come on. Your task for today is finding yourself some proper shoes, use the company card.” Pepper’s phone rung again, so you walked out, but she knocked on the glass door. “And a jacket!” she pointed at your oversized plush cardigan. You nodded and went into Tony's office. You carefully placed the three remaining coffees on the desk and took one of them from the carton form. Stark was not in his office, so you took the other two coffees and went straight to the elevator, pressed “7” and when the door opened, you headed right into the room next to the gym.
“Hello, doll.” Bucky took the coffee from you and kissed you on the cheek. “Thank you, how will I ever repay you?”
“You know, you could finally take me out to that dinner you promised ages ago.” You winked, playfully. You liked James. He had a similar sense of humour and you immediately got along. Some people thought you were dating (mainly Natasha), others, that you hated each other, all thanks to your banter. Truth was, you did try to date, but eventually it didn’t work out and you realised you’re better of as friends, the absolute bestest ones at that.
“Oh, really? Not gonna happen, that train left long ago.” He took a sip of the coffee as you stood there with your jaw dropped.
“Rude!” You scoffed dramatically and tilted your head. “Ok, Barnes, gotta go, have coffees to deliver.”
“It’s disgusting by the way!” He shouted at your back, and you replied without even turning around.
“Love you too!” You swiped your card and entered the elevator again, pressing “10” again.
The elevator stopped not long after, on the 8th floor and when the door opened, you saw…
“Morning, mortal.” He greeted you with his usual charm.
“And hello to you too, Laufeyson.”
“What is that?” He pointed on the cup, furrowing his brows.
“Coffee, quite good. I brought one spare one, take it. It’s a mocha, you might like it.”
“Hm…” Loki carefully took the cup, and smelled the drink. It was quite amusing to watch, as he took a small sip. “It is good. What is the name of it again, gnoccha?” You burst out laughing.
“No, my dear. Gnocchi were the small potato lumps that we ate with tomato sauce the other day. This right here is mocha. Mo-cha. With an m.” Loki rolled his eyes.
“I’m glad I could amuse you, now if you’ll excuse me. Good day to you.”
“And to you!” You chuckled after Loki left and waited until you were on the 10th floor.
You entered your office and sighed. Something was bothering you and you felt…somewhat heavy. You shook your head, that was not the time to analyse your mood or lack of it. You poured yourself a tall glass of ice water from the dispenser and sat down to your desk. You opened your laptop slowly, you shouldn’t have given the coffee to Laufeyson, you were tired from lack of sleep and the crying session in the middle of the night. You wanted to rub your eyes but then remembered you had makeup on and if you started to touch your face you would slowly start ruining it. You logged in to your account and checked e-mails. There weren’t many, only some absurd offers, that Stark would never even bother to look through. After skimming through them, you deleted all of them and looked at your shoes. You did need more appropriate ones. Your sneakers were fine, comfortable, but you didn’t want to end the year with a twisted ankle. You sighed again and started scrolling through various websites. Pepper did say to use the company’s card, so you could get something nice for yourself. You considered Moon Boots, since apparently they were comfortable and warm, but they were absolutely hideous in your opinion and you could never wear them, not even for the Enterprise money. You settled on Doc Martens shoes, but the ones with better soles, because the regular ones could double as ice skates replacement. Okay, now that the shoes were out of the way, time to find a jacket. You decided to piss off Loki, you would get a dark green one. He somehow thought that he claimed the colour green and no one else could ever wear it. He would always get so offended it was very entertaining to watch. You had a small, tiny, minuscule crush on Loki, but no one apart from Bucky knew. Which was hilarious because most of the people thought it was James you had a crush on.
You ordered yourself the jacket and stood up to look through the large glass window.
“Just don't jump, kiddo, that would hurt.” You heard Tony’s voice and you turned around to see him leaning against the door. “You okay? Pepper told me about the shoe-jacket situation. Is that sorted already?”
“Yep, just ordered all of that. Might buy myself a car as well, since I have this.” You jokingly waved the card.
“And then what would I get you for Christmas?” He took the card from you and put it in his pocket. The mention of Christmas made you uncomfortable, but you tried to hide it behind a smile. “Oh, you don’t want a car then?” He tried to ease the atmosphere, but the dam has already broken and the jig was up. “Hey…y/l/n, come on, what’s wrong?” Tony gestured towards the couch where you both sat down.
“It’s just…I really don’t like…Christmas.” You looked up at him and he was looking at you with worry in his eyes.
“You know that’s bullshit, right?” He raised his eyebrows and you felt somewhat offended? “I mean, it’s not Christmas that you hate, no one hates Christmas. Even Grinch didn’t hate Christmas. Is it your family?” And there he was, hitting the exact spot you wanted him to avoid. You couldn’t even say anything, you just nodded your head and completely broke down. “Oh, come here, kid.” Tony hugged you and patted your back. “I don't know what exactly happened, but no one eagerly takes a shift on Christmas. Pepper and I, and a few guys are staying here in the building tonight. And you are joining us, 8pm, 20th. This is non-negotiable.” You sniffed and tried to pull yourself together.
“Thank you, Tony…I really appreciate it. Now, if you don’t mind, time for my mental health cigarette.” You stood up and grabbed your jacket.
“And since when are you smoking?” Tony scoffed.
“And since when are you my dad?” The familiar banter was back and you knew the sappiness was over and you could continue with your day. You walked out of your office with Tony and he pressed the elevator for you.
“I’ll see you tonight then, y/l/n.” You nodded politely and entered the elevator which took you right where you wanted it. You stepped outside and lit up the cigarette. You didn’t smoke, not really. You always had an emergency packet on you, but you rarely smoked. Only when you needed to and lately you caught yourself needing it more and more. You inhaled slowly.
“Tsk tsk tsk…y/n y/l/n. Who would’ve thought?” You heard a chuckle behind you and you saw James walking towards you with his motorcycle helmet.
“You’re going somewhere?” You pointed at the helmet.
“Yeah, I’m just grabbing a few things. But don’t change the subject, miss. You’re in trouble.”
“Sergeant Barnes, it won’t happen again, sir.” You mockingly saluted.
“On a serious note, are you okay? You rarely do that. Anything I can help with?”
“It’s just…you know, Christmas. It’s a tough time for me so I kind of need a breather more than usual these days.”
“Ah, shit, yeah. I’m sorry, y/n. I can give you a hug, would that help?” He put the helmet on the bench next to you and wrapped his arms around you. It felt safe.
“Does not help. But it’s nice. Continue.” You dropped the cigarette on the pavement and held Bucky tight. “Thanks, Bucky.”
He let go and took the helmet.
“Call me if you need me, ok, doll?” You nodded and he got on his motorcycle and left, god knows where. You started to feel the coldness, so you went back inside and headed straight to your office.
The rest of the day went by slowly and quite boringly to be honest. No one was doing business during Christmastime, so if Tony knew you wanted to, he would let you go home. But he knew you needed to stay, so he was willing to pay you double just to sit and do nothing here, in the office. When it was 7:50, you decided it was time to gather your things and go to the 20th floor (called by everyone - the 20th, as it was literally just one big room), so you stood up and started tidying your desk. You heard knocking so you looked up and saw Loki, who walked towards you.
“Stark asked me to get you.”
“Hi, Loki. Thanks. I mean I would find my way to the 20th but it’s nice of you.”
“I don't think it’s about finding the way. I think Stark wanted to avoid you leaving before the party.”
“Thanks, I would have never figured that out.” You joked and put your things neatly on the chair. You wouldn’t need all of that on you. You walked to the elevator and Loki pressed the button.
“By the way, that coffee you gave me. I know you didn’t have a spare one. I’m a God of Lies, remember? You cannot lie to me. Why did you give it to me?” You stepped into the elevator.
“I didn’t need it that much and-“ you were rudely interrupted.
“Lies. Strike two.” You sighed theatrically and looked straight into Loki’s eyes.
“Okay, I did need that coffee, but I know how much you enjoy some of the ‘mortal’ drinks and food and I wanted you to have it.”
“But why did you want me to have it?” He knit his brows. He really didn’t get it.
“Because I like you and I like seeing you enjoy things. I wanted you to have it more than I wanted to drink it. It’s quite simple.”
“Oh.” He needed a moment to take it in. “Thank you. That is very nice of you. I do like you too.” You smiled at Loki and you left the elevator. Tony said there would be him, Pepper and a few guys. A few guys consisted of Loki, Bucky, Thor, Natasha and Sam.
“Thank you for the safe delivery, Laufeyson.” said Tony handing you a drink. Loki nodded and went towards the bar, where Natasha was serving drinks.
“All good?” You took a sip of the drink and recognised the familiar gin and tonic. Perfectly measured of course, Natasha was making the best drinks.
“Yes, I feel so much better. And the drink is just perfect. Thanks for inviting me.” You smiled thankfully. Not many people had such a great boss. you really felt grateful.
You heard Pepper calling everyone to the table so you and Tony walked towards it and sat down. You were sat in-between Bucky (who was already choking with laughter because of Sam) and Natasha, opposite to Loki.
“Okay guys, a small speech. Every year on Earth, there’s this thing happening called Christmas. I know you weirdos don’t have that in the fairyland, but here it’s quite a big deal.” Tony pointed with his glass at Thor and Loki. “That’s why Pepper and I, but mostly Pepper, came out with an idea to have our own small Christmas. Christmas is all about family, so since it’s a touchy subject for most of us, here’s to our chosen family. The best one of all.” Tony nodded and raised a toast. It was quite touching that after such a short time with them, you were already being considered family. You took a sip of the drink and sat down.
“So, when are you going to ask him out?” Natasha whispered to you.
“Who?” You asked confused.
“Oh my god, Barnes, who else?” You rolled your eyes.
“How many times can I tell you. I. Do not. Want. To. Be. With. Bucky.” You made sure to say it slowly, as if Natasha had issues with understanding English, because apparently she did.
“But you do have a crush on someone, you sacrificed your coffee for him, come on.” You saw how Nat tried to put two and two together. “Who did you give the coffee today?” You just took another sip, feeling like your cheeks are on fire. “You gave it to Tony and Pepper, but that’s out of the question, you gave it to Barnes…there were four, I’ve seen four empty cups in the trash…who else…?” Her train of thought was interrupted by a short cough.
“She gave me her coffee, if you must know.” said Loki, smiling mischievously.
“No, no, no. Don’t be ridiculous, Laufeyson.” Nat looked at you and shook her head. “Come on, really?!”
“The heart wants what it wants, what can I say.” You shook your arms cluelessly. Loki was looking straight into your eyes and was slowly sipping his red wine. He licked his lips and smiled.
“Well, isn’t that unexpected.” You shifted in your chair realising that well, the cat was out of the bag. You had a crush on a god. “This will be fun.”
“No. It won’t be fun, because I will kill you if it’s fun to you.” Natasha smiled sweetly at Loki.
“At ease, soldier. I can take care of myself.” You patted her knee. Nat was still sending daggers his way. The rest of the party was full of alcohol, eating, anecdotes and playing Monopoly. Thor did not understand the game and wanted to fight with anyone who dared to stand on his property, Pepper tried to explain the game to Thor. Sam was arguing and screaming the rules at everyone. You and Natasha were stealing money whenever you could. Tony, Loki and Bucky did not even play Monopoly, instead they were playing a drinking game, taking a shot every time Sam said “RULES” or Pepper said “Listen to me”.
It came close to midnight and most of people already went home, so you decided it was time for you to go too. Tony called you a taxi and ordered you not to come in the next day. You were quite drunk, so you only nodded, as you were sure you wouldn’t remember it in the morning. You waved at everyone and pressed the button of the elevator. The doors were stopped by Loki’s shoe.
“I wanted to say goodbye.” He went into the elevator and came close to you. He looked into your eyes, brushed your hair out of your face and gave you a…hug. You felt a bit disappointed and he must have felt that. “You’re too drunk for a kiss, pet. I will not take advantage of you in this state.” He whispered into your ear and it sent shivers down your spine.
“Would you take advantage of me in another state?” You asked playfully, knowing this sentence would be the one ringing in your head tomorrow morning.
“Who knows…maybe I would.” Loki held you until you were at the ground floor. He walked you to the car and opened the door for you. “Get home safe.” He looked at the driver inside the car. “I will kill you if she doesn’t.”
“Loki!” You scolded him and immediately apologised to the driver. You sat down in the car and buckled your seatbelt. Loki leaned over and gave you a kiss on the forehead.
“Merry Christmas, mortal.” Loki said softly.
“Merry Christmas, Laufeyson.” You smiled. He closed the door and the driver took off.
Once you arrived, you thanked the driver, again, apologised for Loki and walked towards your door. You almost tripped over a package at your front door. You opened your door and carefully took the package inside. You put it on your countertop and tried looking for any details, but there was nothing. Only green and gold packaging that told you nothing. Or did it…? You opened the package and you saw a brand new coffee machine with at least ten different coffee bean flavours. There was a card at the bottom with a neat handwriting “I like you and I like seeing you enjoy things.”