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Prince Tachibana Makoto of Iwatobi was six months old when he first met the young Lord of House of Nanase. Lord Nanase and his wife lived close to the Palace, and Makoto’s mother told him that since the first time Makoto had laid his eyes on Haruka, he never really let the raven haired boy away from his sight. Haruka became Makoto’s ‘Other Half’, and some even called them ‘Soulmates’. Of course it became a running joke in the House of Lords and even the Palace where Makoto grew up.

Haruka was a few months older than him, and was often be mistaken as a girl. Makoto, despite his also girlish name, fortunately survived the confusion because he had a very boyish appearance and was the next heir to the throne.

Later when Makoto was eight, his mother gave birth to a pair of twins. His parents were not unhealthy or some sort, but Makoto hoped that the day he became the rule of Iwatobi was a thousand years away; he couldn’t imagine his life having to rule Iwatobi and be a good brother and a good friend to Haruka at the same time. And Makoto was only nine when he had that thought.

Then Makoto was kind of regretful that he got that sort of wish, because all of sudden the God decided to lessen one of his burdens by giving him a ‘saviour’ by the name of Matsouka Rin.

The Matsuoka family was also one of the four Lords, and Rin’s father came back from Australia with his family to take over the throne when his father – the head at that time – passed away from old age. That was when Makoto and Haruka first met Rin.

Makoto and Haruka had always been the best and the closest of friends, and they did a lot of things together; including their private lessons and playing time in the pool. Nagisa from the House of Hazuki, a hyperactive child, often tried to spend time with them but since he was two years younger, his schedules were different from Haruka’s and Makoto’s. There were also a few other kids from the rest of the House of Lords who unable to keep up with both Makoto and Haruka, due to their different schedules. Rin, in the other hand, was in the same year with them, and had the ability to set people on fire.

‘Fire’ was figurative, and ‘people’ was Haruka.

The first time Rin met them, was in the Royal Palace’s indoor pool. He gave his respect to Makoto – who flailed and said there was no need to – and then challenged Haruka for a race. That was the first time Makoto saw Haruka riled up and pushed himself to his limit. He won the swimming challenge with the usual indifferent mask on his face, but Makoto could see it very well; the smug satisfaction behind Haruka’s pretty-pretty blue eyes.

From then on, Rin became one of their close friends. Makoto and Rin had a good relationship; not really close, but not really distant either. Haru, however, was a rival, as well as a friend to Rin. Makoto spent a few years of his life at the Palace, watching Rin and Haruka became close and closer. Although his relationship with Haruka didn’t change (because Haruka always put Makoto as his priority – but Makoto thought that was because he was the Prince, no one should put the prince as their second priority –), Makoto knew that one day Haruka would decide that Rin was much more worthy to be kept by his side rather than Makoto. Makoto was the Crown Prince; he would one day take over the throne and be the King of Iwatobi. Although they were now in the modern world, where the tradition that a royal blood must marry another royal blood was no longer exist, Makoto didn’t think that Haruka would love to be his consort.

And the last thought actually came from the realization that Makoto was in love with Haruka. Makoto realized this when he was 14 years old. They were still taking private lessons in the Palace, including Rin too. As usual, Haruka and Rin bantered about whose answer was the right one, and Makoto just laughed before pointing out the correct answer to their tutor. The answer apparently was similar to Haruka’s, and Makoto had watched with wide eyes as Haruka looked at him with his bright blue eyes; a slight flush on his face and a fleeting smile visible only for a second. Haruka probably felt happy that he got the right answer, but Makoto would love to believe that it was because Haruka felt happy Makoto was on his side.

And Makoto wanted to be by Haruka’s side all the time; always, forever.

But then again, Makoto left the class after the lessons feeling very lost, because he realized that the reason why Haruka felt happy with Makoto in the first place was because of Rin. If Rin wasn’t there to make Haruka’s eyes lightened with life, Makoto didn’t think he could do it at all. Although he just realized that he was in love with Haruka – and had been doing so ever since the first time he saw him –, that wasn’t enough to make Haruka happy.

So, being the heartbroken 14-year-old that he was, Makoto made a request to talk to his father after the King was finished with his works for the day. He had a private discussion with his parents; saying that he would like to take a temporary leave from the country, and continue his study away from Iwatobi. At first, his parents gave him an incredulous look, as if they thought Makoto was just joking. But after he managed to convince his parents about it – by using the excuse that he was the Crown Prince, therefore it would be a good exercise for him if he learned to live outside of his comfort zone – they agreed to it, and said the next year would be a good time for him to go and study abroad. Then his father said he would look for a private school that offered good swimming lessons and whether they had any private dorm for two persons. Makoto with confusion asked him why, and his father looked at him again as if Makoto had finally lost it.

“You’re going with Haru, right?”

That was probably the most embarrassing moment in Makoto’s life (no it was not, but that was for another story) because his face turned deep red and he flailed his arms shouting ‘NO, NO, NO’ as loudly as he could.

It was a surprise to his parents, but they agreed to let it pass by; probably because they thought a little distance between Makoto and Haruka would be a good exercise for Makoto’s undeniable failure to detach himself from the blue eyed boy.

Makoto never did tell Haruka about his plan to go abroad. He didn’t want to see how Haruka would either look at him with anger and sadness, or just simply wish him a good luck and go away with Rin into the sunset. It was a miserable thought and Makoto spent days and weeks of his leftover time in Iwatobi mourning about it.

The day before he went away to England, he told Haruka and Rin about it face to face. Makoto was feeling a bit sad by the way Haruka didn’t even look at him when he spoke; as if he actually knew what Makoto was planning all along – Makoto thought it was because he slowly distanced himself from Haruka, and yes, the maids knew it all so it shouldn’t be a surprise when the news spread around –. Rin gave him a nasty, but considerate punch on his shoulder, before he told him to take care of himself there. The other kids in the Houses of Lords also wished him the best for his journey, and Makoto thanked them for their kindness.

And unsurprisingly, the day, Makoto left with his personal assistants to England, Haruka didn’t even come to bid him farewell. Makoto didn’t know whether he should be happy about it or not. This was what he wanted in the first place; a separation between him and Haruka so that he wouldn’t have a too much of a broken heart when Haruka finally decided that he had enough of Makoto.

That was a few years back then. Now, Makoto, a 19-year-old university student, was staring at his open textbook; one hand smoothening the wrinkles on the yellowing paper and another holding onto a pencil. He was alone in his room, and his housemate was yet to return home. Their shared apartment was quiet at night; because it was an expensive one with thick walls, and Rei usually return home late. Ryugazaki Rei was a medical student, and the son to the Royal Healer of Iwatobi. Makoto’s father was the one who told him about Rei, who was attending the same university with Makoto. With a small discussion (Read: persuading Rei, who was scared of Makoto’s royal status) the two of them agreed to rent an apartment together, though Makoto managed to convince Rei that Makoto should and would pay more than half of the rent. Makoto didn’t like it anyway, living alone, and Rei was a good housemate based on how particular he could about cleanliness, perfection and beauty.

But right now, there was something that made Makoto felt uneasy.

He had just received an invitation letter from Iwatobi, marked with the Matsuoka House of Lord’s signature – he had told his father about the usage of emails and even Whatsapp and Skype, but his parents just waved him off and continued to lecture him about maintaining some customs and old roots and by then Makoto already fell asleep on his cell phone – and he hadn’t opened it yet. He wanted to see whether Rei got the same invitation or not, because if he did, then it must be an important event.

He absentmindedly drew a sketch of a person, and Makoto knew, although without the colours and beautiful lines – because Makoto sucked at drawing –, the person had a beautiful midnight blue hair and a pair of pretty-pretty sea blue eyes.

Makoto sighed miserably, putting down his pencil and stared at the half-done sketching. Even after all those years in which he spent avoiding him, Haruka was still a fresh memory in his mind. It was frustrating because his feelings for Haruka didn’t disappear; in fact, it was becoming worse.

Ever since he first left Iwatobi, Makoto somehow only returned to his country thrice. The three times, he didn’t come to the Nanase House of Lord, his excuses were that he wanted to spend time with his siblings and to visit his people. He met Rin once, since Rin was also studying abroad but the redhead returned back atleast twice in a year. Other than that, Makoto’s family always visited him in England. Now that he was attending university, taking Political Science as his course, Makoto wished that he had spent more time with Haruka.

He missed Nanase Haruka so much that he couldn’t even get himself dated another person more than a week. He tried, God, as the Prince of Iwatobi, Makoto tried so hard to go out and get a partner. But he couldn’t do more than one-night stands because every time he closed his eyes and tried to indulge himself with someone else, he kept reliving the memory of Haruka staring at him with a small smile and a slight flush on his cheeks. After a number of failed relationships, Makoto knew he was done – and screwed, screwed so much into the dark, deep hole of an abyss – and he would end up as the first King of Iwatobi without a Consort.

“Makoto?”

Makoto swiftly turned to look at Rei, who was standing at his door and staring at him with a raised eyebrow. Then he realized what he was doing; he was clutching his hair and pulling it like a madman.

Faking a cough, Makoto put a sheepish smile on his face and nodded his head at the spectacled teen.

“You’re home, Rei.” Makoto smiled, hoping that Rei wouldn’t question his sanity. But then his eyes caught the sight of a letter in Rei’s hand, similar to the one he got from the House of Matsuoka. Rei seemed to get it as well, because the navy haired teen adjusted his glasses, and show Makoto the letter.

“It’s from the Matsuoka’s family… I believe you got it as well?” Rei asked him slowly, and Makoto tried to stop his heart from beating too fast, afraid that it would get thrown out from his chest. Rei was not an important figure in the Palace and the Houses of Lords, but his father was well-known and since Rei was the only child and the future Royal Healer, getting an invitation letter would not be peculiar.

“Yes, but I haven’t checked it yet.” Makoto looked down at his own letter on his study table, his hands itched to grab and tear it open, but he didn’t think he had enough courage for that. Rei, however, understood his conflict because he tore open the letter carefully, and pulled out a simple invitation card carved with beautiful swirls of royal gold design. He read the card quietly, and then tilted his head slightly to one side. Makoto kept his silence; only practices that made him managed to get his nerves under control and looked as cool as a cucumber.

“It’s a…” Rei started, and squinted his eyes a little bit, “… A wedding invitation. Ohh! It looks like the young Lord Matsuoka Rin is getting married.”

“Oh.” Makoto looked at the sketching he had done, his green eyes wide, but blank and unseeing.

Oh… Oh.

“Umm, Makoto? You’re okay?”

Makoto turned to look at Rei, and put the best smile he could muster at that moment. His heart felt like it was dead and Makoto couldn’t think of anything else but Haruka’s pretty smiles.

“… Yes, but can you… please?” Makoto gestured at the door and Rei, though a bit confused, nodded his head. He politely left the room and closed the door, giving Makoto the so much time and space Makoto needed at the moment. The brunette afterward, turned his attention back to his book, his green eyes remained in a daze, and blank.

‘Finally, huh,’ Makoto smiled slowly, and he had to let out a shaky breath when his eyes suddenly felt warm and his sight blurred by unwelcome tears.

‘Finally, Nanase Haruka had enough of Tachibana Makoto.’

When Makoto returned to the Palace, he was greeted by his pair of excited twin siblings. They jumped him once he got out of the car, causing Makoto to steer back a bit, and hold them tightly against his chest. He missed them so much that it was beyond words.

“Oni-chan! We missed you!”

“Finally you’re home!”

Makoto laughed good-heartedly, carefully putting them down onto the ground, and patting them on their heads. “Yes, I’m home, Ran, Ren. Where’s Otou-sama and Okaa-sama?”

The twins smiled up at him, and told him that their parents were out for some matters to be settled. Rei, who was supposed to be beside him at the moment, was now being crowded by Nagisa who actually knew him since they were kids. Nagisa loved Rei’s father because the healer often told him stories about lives outside of the Palace and the Houses of Lords. And so when Rei came to visit, Nagisa would take it as his chance to wrap the navy haired teen around his fingers.

Makoto stifled a sigh, and looked down at his siblings with a small smile. Makoto was wearing a white buttoned-up shirt, with the sleeves folded up to his elbows, and he was wearing a pair of black slacks, perfected by a pair of black shoes. He was in formal clothing for more than ten hours, and he was tired. If it wasn’t the fact that he needed to look immaculate when he finally returned for a short break in Iwatobi, Makoto would have just donned a pair of comfortable jeans and a plain tshirt. His siblings seemed to have realized this as well, because they were pulling him into entering the Palace.

The Palace was a huge traditional Japanese stylized house, with a combination of modern furniture. Makoto used to get lost in the Palace when he was small; the rooms looked all similar and there were just too many doors. But to compare the Palace with other country’s Palace, Iwatobi’s was quite small. It was because the King never really had any intention to spend the people’s money for their own entertainment, and Iwatobi was a quite a small country itself. Makoto was, somehow, relieved by this fact. He didn’t think he can rule Iwatobi as well as his father, so he would probably die out of frustration if he were to rule a country as large as China.

As he was dragged inside by his siblings, Makoto laughed and listened to their chatters happily. He wished his parents would be back home soon, so that they could have dinner together for the first time in this year. But then, his hearing caught a name that somewhat escaped his sister’s lips.

“– Haru-chan waited for you like three hours ago-”

“Haru?!” Makoto stopped in his track, automatically pulling the twins into a stop as well. Both of them swiftly turned to look at him, and Makoto hoped he didn’t look as shocked as he was feeling at the moment. Ren looked up at him and nodded his head, answering for behalf of his twin.

“Yes, Haru-chan is here-”

“Makoto.”

Never a day Makoto had gone through in London, thinking about Haruka’s voice and how it must have changed due to puberty. Makoto thought that maybe his voice would be deeper, but still soft and quiet like how Haruka always did, and perhaps, maybe his voice reached another pitch higher, but nevertheless, Makoto knew Haruka would sound so very beautiful.

Just like the voice that called out his name a second ago.

The person standing in front Makoto right at that moment, was the last person Makoto wanted to see when he finally reached home. They were standing in the hallway, on their way to Makoto’s bedroom, and his siblings were chattering about something with each other; their hand still clutching onto Makoto’s, Ren’s on his left, and Ran’s on his right.

Haruka was wearing a formal white yukata, with a black outer robe. His blue eyes were no longer as big as they were when Makoto last saw them, but they were still big, expressive, and a lovely shade of blue. His hairstyle was just the same – only slightly ruffled – and his skin was still as fair as Makoto remembered. But the thing that made Makoto blinked his eyes slowly, was that the realization that Haruka was shorter than him. Shorter as in, a few inches shorter, that Haruka actually had to tilt his head upward as he looked at Makoto. Haruka was as tall as he was when he left, and now it was perfectly clear that Makoto grew a lot more than him.

And also, Makoto didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he had to exhale. It was probably due to the fact that Haruka was absolutely, – in Makoto’s non-bias opinion because he was sure that nobody would disagree with this statement – undeniably, beautiful.

Haruka’s blue eyes were sharp, but unreadable, and Makoto felt something dreadful running through his nerves. It seemed that Haruka had realized the both of them had something hanging between them, and the dark haired teen was unhappy about it.

“Makoto,” he repeated with an emotionless tone coupled with an indifferent expression when Makoto stood still, watching him with wide green eyes, “… We need to talk.”

And ‘Oh shit’ was the only thing rang inside of Makoto’s head.

The room was a bit chilly, Makoto mused as he rubbed onto his forearm. This was the first time he entered into Haruka’s room, after years of not seeing him. The Nanase House was located next to the Palace, and was constructed using the same theme with the Palace; traditional Japanese mixed with modern technologies, and Haruka’s room, it was as expected – the cleanliness, the lack of furniture (only Haruka’s single bed, a study table, a bookcase filled with books, and a wardrobe) and Makoto tried his best to pretend as if the dolphin plushie he gave to Haruka on his twelfth birthday wasn’t in Haruka’s bed –.

Haruka was sitting in front of him; the two of them facing each other while sitting on the zabuton Haruka had taken out for them. His hands were folded properly on his lap, his blue eyes watching Makoto’s every moment, as if he was waiting for Makoto to flee. He didn’t say anything though – because right after he led Makoto into his house and his room, he had slid the wooden door close, and proceeded to invite Makoto to sit down.

Makoto on the other hand, tried to control his fidgeting ever since the moment Haruka grabbed his arm gently back at the Palace. The black haired teen probably thought that Makoto was going to give some silly excuses and run away from him again – Makoto did, shamefully –.

“So…” Makoto started slowly, his eyes tried their best to look at Haruka and his insides squirmed with the thought of how pretty Haruka looked like, “… It has been a long time, Haruka.”

Haruka frowned a bit, but he nodded his head nevertheless.

Makoto took that chance to inspect Haruka even further.

His white yukata did nothing to cover up Haruka’s nice built; he must have swam a lot when Makoto wasn’t there, Makoto thought with a fond smile. But then another thought followed,

Swam a lot with Rin.

Makoto didn’t know what kind of expression he had on his face, but Haruka looked a bit alarmed, and he watched the dark haired teen reached out a hand to touch him. “Makoto? Are you all right?”

Makoto blinked his eyes, and stiffly shook his head.

Of course he is not all right, Makoto subconsciously clenched his hands into fists, Haruka is going to marry Rin. How on Earth Makoto would be all right?

“I…” Makoto looked up at Haruka again, and this time, Haruka’s hand stilled in the air between them, before he slowly pulled away with hesitation. Makoto wanted to grab his wrist, pull Haruka close to him, wrap him in his arms, and never, ever, let go again.

“I heard about the news.” Makoto told him bluntly, trying his best to be straightforward and just let whatever things they had hanging between them, become lost in that moment of harsh reality. Haruka’s blue eyes widened slightly, causing Makoto to let out a small smile.

He knew Haruka probably felt a little bit bad for forgetting Makoto – forgetting his ‘Other Half’, his childhood soulmate – but it should not matter anymore. Makoto would pretend that this moment, these seconds, didn’t exist, and he would put all these memories of Haruka into the back of his mind.

Where Haruka was this pretty, this beautiful, this perfect, and where Haruka was all his, his and his.

“Makoto, I…” Haruka hesitated a bit, his eyes looked troubled and Makoto smiled grew fonder. He wanted to say ‘it’s okay,’ wanted to say that ‘I’m okay, everything is okay,’ because why shouldn’t it? Nothing was wrong in the first place. The only thing got out of hand was Makoto’s feeling.

That was all.

“… You should’ve not known about this.” Haruka finished his sentence slowly, his blue eyes looking away from Makoto with a small frown appeared on his forehead. Makoto inwardly sighed; wasn’t he the Crown Prince of Iwatobi, knows about his childhood bestfriend’s wedding?

“I don’t mind about that, Haru,” Makoto gave him a reassuring smile and watched as Haruka became more frustrated, “I just want to say that… I’m happy for you-”

Lies.

“I really am-”

I love you more than you could have known.

“And I wish you the best of happiness.”

Even if it meant that you would be taking away mine.

Haruka looked at him with wide blue eyes, as if he heard what Makoto was saying from his heart, instead of what was coming from his mouth. Then Makoto gave him a polite nod, and thought that maybe now was the time for him to leave. He couldn’t bear to be in the same room with Haruka anymore.

Not when their ending was going to hurt someone, in one way or another.

That was the last thing that Makoto would ever want.

However, Makoto was thrown into surprise when Haruka suddenly leaped from his seat, and grabbed Makoto by both of his shoulders.

That was – supposedly – enough to warn Makoto of what was coming, but his body became frozen when a pair of soft lips met his.

Haruka kissed him with enough fervent to last them a forever. His hands moved from Makoto’s broad shoulders into his brown hair, clenching Makoto’s hair with his long fingers as his arms wrapped around his neck. Makoto grabbed onto Haruka’s hips when the other teen fell onto his lap – Haruka was so light that Makoto could just wrap him in his arms and make him disappear within his love – and their mouths sought each other hungrily.

Makoto felt Haruka pulled him closer by his neck, both of their eyes closed, and their breathing became heavier within seconds and minutes passing by. His own arm was wrapped around Haruka’s waist, and another grabbing tight on Haruka’s right thigh, making sure that it was strongly wrapped around his own waist.

His palm was underneath Haruka’s yukata, his hand warm against Haruka’s cold skin and Makoto burned as his lips ravished Haruka’s, biting down onto his lower lip, drinking in his gasps and moans, as if it was his first time experiencing this, experiencing what he had always wanted.

Haruka pulled away from their kiss with a loud gasp, breathing a second for breath, only to come back down onto Makoto again. Makoto closed his eyes, and had to gasp between their kisses when Haruka pushed him down against the tatami floor. Makoto took the fall, hands gripping tight onto Haruka who proceeded to crawl on top of him; their mouths never left each other, not even for a second.

Then Makoto felt Haruka’s hands under his shirt; his own yukata open and revealing his fair chest, while Makoto’s hands grabbed and squeezed onto his ass, causing Haruka to gasp breathlessly into his mouth, and their covered erections rubbed against each other.

It was by then when Makoto’s eyes abruptly opened wide.

With a loud gasp, Makoto harshly pushed Haruka away, trying not to panic when Haruka fell onto his side, wincing painfully at the force. He scrambled backwards, stopping when his back hit the wooden wall, and when he realized Haruka was still on the floor, with his hands trying to support his body, and his eyes dazedly watching Makoto.

Makoto stared wide eyes at the other teen; Haruka’s lips were swollen red, and he was breathing heavily. His blue eyes were dark and dazed as they stared back at Makoto, and Makoto could see the flushes on his skin not only on his face, but also his naked left shoulder where his yukata was pushed down, and his revealed hips. Only the loose obi around his waist that preventing him from being fully naked to Makoto.

Haruka looked beautifully wrecked, and completely debauched.

By him.

“Ha-Haru…” Makoto stuttered, and he just had to express what he was feeling at that moment; of his pure disappointment and frustration, “How… How could you, Haru?!”

Haruka’s blue eyes widened as they stared at Makoto, and he looked confused a bit, trying to find words to say, but Makoto cut him off first.

“How could you do that, Haru?! What the heck are you trying to prove?!”

Haruka stayed frozen in his position, and Makoto hurriedly stood up on his shaky legs, wanting to escape the room as soon as possible.

“I thought… I thought,” Makoto was breathing heavily – out of anger, out of frustration – as he looked down, unable to face the person he had loved for years but not his to keep.

And this was painful, too painful because Haruka felt perfect against him, Haruka was perfect for him, “…I thought you’d be better than this.”

The silence that followed Makoto’s words were loud, as if none of them had expected Makoto to utter such things, but Makoto was too involved with his own heart to even consider how Haruka would even try to reason with himself.

“I’m done with you.” Makoto looked up; his green eyes sharp but blurred with angry tears as he looked at the still shocked Haruka. Then he wasted no more time, hurriedly turned away and walked out of the room.

He heard Haruka shouting his name – his voice sounded panicked and distressed –, but Makoto shut him down and his legs didn’t fail him as he ran back to the Palace.

He needed to be away from Haruka, and he needed to get away from him forever.

Makoto didn’t know what was happening in his life.

For one moment, he finally met the love of his life again, after years of not seeing him.

He got the news that the love of his life was going to marry his another childhood friend. Said childhood friend was a nice person with a strong attitude.

Then the love of his life somehow thought it would be okay for them to make out like a pair of long lost lovers when his wedding was like, tomorrow.

Makoto didn’t know which part was better.

The part that Haruka kissed him first, or the part that Makoto actually tried to be the better person by pushing him away.

Not that it mattered anyway, his life was still fucked up.

So much for being the Crown Prince of Iwatobi.

“Yeah, most of the time we spent together, we swam in the pool… Sometimes I was beaten up in our races like a piece of shit-”

Makoto stopped walking, blinking his eyes when he saw a certain redhead talking with one of the guests from the Houses of Lords for dinner, in front of him.

– Rin sounded like he was talking about the love of his life.–

Makoto was going into the dining hall for dinner’s preparation, when Rin also realized his presence. He grinned at the sight of the young prince, giving his excuse for a leave at the older guest, and slowly approaching him. Makoto realized that Rin was wearing a simple maroon shirt with black jeans; looking all casual but handsome nonetheless.

“Hello, Makoto, it has been a long time since I last saw you.” Rin grinned, his shark teeth that used to scare Makoto so much were still there; sharp and perfectly arranged. Makoto tried to give him the best smile he could muster.

The best smile he could muster after he kissed his friend’s fiancé this morning.

“Yes… I miss you too, Rin,” Makoto smiled and the redhead flushed a bit. He rubbed his nape with one hand, looking away but Makoto could see how happy he was that Makoto knew his secret language.

The two of them conversed a bit about Rin’s study in Australia, and how Makoto’s going in England. The dinner was being prepared as they talked, and Makoto found it nostalgic that it had been a long time since he last had a good conversation with Rin. Rin had always been the person with a big dream – and him marrying at such a young age would do nothing to stop him from achieving his dream – and Makoto appraised him for that.

Makoto’s destiny was written down for him the moment he was born as the first son of the King and Queen of Iwatobi. And although Makoto was no perfect prince, he would never abandon his people just because he was afraid he would be a useless King.

However, Rin suddenly found it nice to talk about his wedding tomorrow. The ceremony would be held at the Matsuoka House, where it would be a traditional ceremony. Both would wear traditional clothes and the ceremony would be performed at the Palace Temple. It was convenient that the Matsuoka House was close to the Palace like the Nanase House.

Makoto felt himself paled at the thought of tomorrow, and he clenched his hands into fists, hidden behind his back. He needed to tell Rin about what happened; about Haruka and Makoto this morning.

But before he could open his mouth, Rin looked away and his red eyes brightened visibly.

“Haru!”

Swiftly Makoto turned to look at the newcomer.

Haruka was standing at the entrance of the dining hall; his blue eyes wide as they stared back at Makoto. He was wearing comfortable-looking light brown sweatshirt and a pair of loose white pants. He looked like he was right at home – here in the Palace where Makoto lived – and Makoto had to stop himself from tearing up at the thought of perhaps, Haruka would love to stay here instead, rather than the Matsuoka House, starting tomorrow.

Quietly Makoto looked away, ignoring the way Haruka flinched slightly at the treatment he gave the dark haired man. Rin didn’t seem to realize that, because he left Makoto’s side to go to his fiancé. Makoto tried his best to not look at them; Rin’s hand had grabbed Haruka’s wrist, asking the shorter teen soft whispered questions that make Haruka averted his attention to Rin.

When the maids informed him that dinner was ready, Makoto refused the meal by saying that he would love to wait for his parents to reach home first. He invited the guests to have their meals before him, at the same time wondering where his twin siblings were. Rin, as expected, looked a little confused for a second, and Makoto only offered him a small smile as his response. Makoto didn’t think he could break the news of Haruka cheating on Rin right at that moment; Rin deserved better than that.

Makoto was undoubtedly only a phase for Haruka.

Then he proceeded to leave the dining hall, to prevent Rin from asking him anything – and probably because Makoto just couldn’t bear to be in the same room with them anymore; regardless of how he knew Haruka’s eyes were staring a hole at the back of his head.

Today was a bright day.

Makoto put on his formal black and white suit; regardless of how his mother fussed at him, telling him to don his traditional outfit instead. Makoto didn’t think he was ready for that – living in England for so long made him more comfortable in shirt and pants rather than yukata – and by custom, only the King and Queen had to wear traditional outfits for formal ceremony.

And Makoto perhaps, thought that wearing yukata for Haruka’s wedding was something he would never do. It felt as if he was fully resigning himself to their fate; Makoto would love to atleast have a little part of himself that believe Haruka was his, and had always been his.

Once Makoto left the safety of his room, he walked to the hallway leading to his siblings’ rooms. Picking up Ren and Ran made him a little happy, because the two just couldn’t stop chattering about how happy they were to attend their first wedding at the Palace.

“Rin-chan must look so cool!”

“And Haru-chan too!”

They chirped happily, snuggling tight into Makoto’s chest while he carried the two of them on each of his arms. They were quite small for their age, but still heavy nonetheless. Makoto was glad he kept with his swimming and exercises routines, or he wouldn’t be able to carry them anymore.

“Of course,” Makoto replied to them, trying to keep the sadness away from his tone, “But let us wish for them to be happy forever and after, yes?”

Both Ren and Ran looked at him with wide blinking eyes, and Makoto had to fake a cough because he realized his voice actually cracked a little at the end of his sentence. Thankfully, his parents came and met him halfway when he was walking toward the Palace Temple.

His mother sighed at his appearance, and Makoto gave her a sheepish smile. His father only smiled at him, and nodded his head. “You’re ready?”

Makoto nodded his head.

Lies. He would never be ready for this day. Never.

With his response, his father turned to lead the way, and Makoto felt something inside of him break.

It felt a lot like his heart.

There was not many people at the Temple as Makoto expected; probably because it was a wedding between nobles, and outsiders weren’t invited. The Iwatobi family disliked attention from the media, and the Houses of Lords respected that so much that only close relatives were there to attend the ceremony. The Temple was situated within the Palace’s ground, where only people with permission could enter.

Makoto stood next to his mother, watching as the Priest talked to Rin’s father about the ceremony, while waiting for the grooms to come. But Makoto was a little bit confused, as to why Haruka’s parents were sitting just behind his seat on the right seats, rather than on the front row of the left section of the seating arrangements. The elders Nanase smiled at him, and Makoto awkwardly smiled back.

“Get ready, the ceremony is starting in a few more minutes.” His mother told him with a smile, and Makoto stiffly turned away from looking at the Nanases, nodding his head at his mother instead. He saw Rin walked into the temple, wearing the tailored formal yukata for his wedding, and Makoto tried not to shut his eyes down.

He felt his mother nudged him a bit; a signal that he was being a bit off and that she was concerned about him. Makoto nonetheless only managed to shake his head.

“I bet Rin-chan’s bride is very pretty.”

“Yeah, she is already super pretty without make-up!”

Makoto turned to look at his twin siblings, eyes wide as the twins whispered excitedly to each other.

“She?”

Makoto couldn’t stop himself from voicing his thought outloud, but the door to the temple was opened again and cut him off. Makoto tried not to panic, or show any confusion, as he sat stiffly in his chair.

A pretty black haired girl walked into the temple; her face lowered down abashedly and she was wearing the traditional kimono for wedding ceremony. Makoto’s eyes were wide as he watched the girl approached Rin and the priest; his heart was beating so loud in his chest but Makoto just couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe because Rin was staring at the girl as if she was his life; his eyes looked lively and his smiles couldn’t be anymore genuine than they were at the moment.

“Now the bride is finally here, let us start with the ceremony,” the priest announced with a gentle smile, and Makoto had to clutch his chest in shock. The rest of the words exchanging between the priest, groom and bride turned deaf in his ears, and the sight became blind to his eyes.

All Makoto could see at the moment was the image of Haruka staring at him with wide and shocked blue eyes; the moment when Makoto told him that he was disappointed with Haruka, and the moment Makoto told him that he had enough of Haruka. He could hear the sound of distress in Haruka’s voice when he called out his name; miserable, shock, upset.

Makoto was the one who caused Haruka to feel upset.

He made Haruka upset.

His Haruka, upset.

Makoto quickly turned to his back, and his troubled green eyes tried to find the figure that had been haunting his life ever since the first day he laid his eyes on him. He needed to see Haruka, and he needed to make sure things would be okay between them.

Then his eyes caught the sight of Haruka standing at the very back of the crowd. He was wearing his signature white yukata with a black robe, and to Makoto he still looked perfectly beautiful. However, the black haired teen was leaning against the wall, just next to the door, as if he was just waiting for the right time to escape the place. His blue eyes looked dazed; like he wasn’t even there in the temple with them, and he looked like someone just killed his pet. Haruka looked so miserable and Makoto inwardly hit himself again on his head for being such a jerk to Haruka.

Fisting his hands tightly, Makoto wanted to say something, wanted to call his name, but the ceremony was still ongoing. He turned back to look at his parents, and saw that his mother was looking back at him. She tilted her head slightly to Haruka’s direction, and when a small smile came to his mother’s face, Makoto felt like he was given another chance by an angel. He smiled back at his mother; his eyes warmed by tears and his hand gripped his mother’s for a split moment of gratefulness.

“Just go, Makoto, the two of you have waited long enough.” Her mother whispered to him, and Makoto nodded his head stiffly. His father didn’t even look at them, but Makoto could see a small smile on his face and that wasn’t a smile his father was directing to the couple in front of them. Makoto had to take a deep breath to control himself, before he politely excused himself from the crowd and turned to get to Haruka.

Haruka’s eyes were wide when he realized Makoto was leaving his seat, and he was approaching him with slow steps but with serious determination in his eyes. Haruka looked at his right side, and quickly grabbed the door’s handle to make his escape. He could still hear Makoto’s words to him the day before, could still hear about how disappointed Makoto felt toward him. Without wasting any more time, Haruka made his way out from the temple and prayed that the prince would not find him again.

Makoto gasped when he saw Haruka left in haste; probably because he saw him approaching. The brunette tried not to make a commotion as he quietly left the temple as well, closing the door on his way out, and fortunately his eyes caught the sight of Haruka’s disappearing figure. He quickly made a run for him, didn’t care that any servants or nobles might see him looking so dishevelled.

“Haru!”

Haru halted his movement for a split second, before he turned over his shoulder and looked at Makoto with wide eyes. He looked like a caged animal trying to find a way out, and Makoto’s right hand quickly grabbed onto his left wrist before Haruka could run away from him.

The black haired teen turned around to face him, and Haruka’s response, although was expected, still made Makoto felt like a big jerk.

“Let go of me!” Haruka hissed, trying to pull his hand away from Makoto’s tight grip, but Makoto only tightened his hold as he pulled Haruka even closer to him. The two of them standing on the Palace’s ground, outside of the buildings and not even that far from the Temple. Makoto thought they stood up like sore thumbs, fortunately no one was there to see them struggling with each other.

“Haru! Listen to me first, Haru!” Makoto fought back; another one of his hands wrapped around Haruka’s waist to hold him against his body. “Haru!”

Haruka struggled against him, pushing his hands against Makoto’s chest and Makoto never wanted this to happen; never wanted Haruka to hate him so much like this.

“Let go of me! You’ve had enough of me, so fucking let go of me!” Haruka shouted and pushed him brashly, causing Makoto’s grip on him to loosen and the prince to fall back a few steps away. Makoto looked at him with wide unbelieving eyes, and he could see Haruka’s eyes glassed with angry tears. Haruka breathed heavily, face red and looking like he would rather be anywhere else in this world rather than right there and then with Makoto. Then he quickly turned to run away, causing Makoto’s heart to fall down to the ground, swallowed by regret and how much time he wished could be restarted again.

“Haru.”

Makoto’s small voice somehow stopped Haruka in his action, making the black haired man blink in his eyes in surprise. A tear or two might have fallen for the prince, but Haruka refused to admit that his own feelings were the one that caused himself misery. He heard nothing from the back, where Makoto would be standing a few steps away from him, and Haruka just had to look back atleast for one more second, before he could leave Makoto behind forever.

“Mako- Makoto!”

Makoto was on his knees; didn’t even care that his black dress pants were already dirtied by the soil, and his eyes were looking up at Haruka. Haruka was stunned as he looked back at the young prince. The brunette was kneeling just right in front of him, in the middle of the Palace, and if anyone were to see this, the two of them would be a newsflash for everyone. But he didn’t know how to respond to this, how to respond to Makoto on his knees for him, how to respond to Makoto, with Haruka’s own heart out to be thrown away onto the ground by Makoto.

“I love you, Haruka,” Makoto started again, when the silence between them became a second too long, and Haruka’s blue eyes widened a fraction more, if that was even possible. The brunette prince clenched his hands into fists, as his eyes became firmer, staring straight into Haruka’s.

“I love you, Haruka,” he repeated, firmer and louder than the beatings of their hearts, “I love you ever since the day I learned what love is. But I thought your heart belonged to someone else, and I won’t make you love me back even if that’s the last thing I’d do, not when you want someone else. I want to make you happy, and I’m sorry,” Makoto took a deep shaky breath, and watched as Haruka’s eyes turned glassy again, “I’m sorry… if all I’ve ever done to you is making you miserable, Haruka.”

Haruka was still looking at him as if he couldn’t believe what Makoto just said. However, he looked like he wanted to say something else, but he couldn’t find the words to say, and Makoto stayed on the ground faithfully.

He didn’t know what Haruka was feeling right at the moment, but he didn’t want to rush him; he wanted Haruka to take all the time he needed in this world, because Makoto knew time would never dissipate his love for him. He didn’t know where they were standing in each other’s life at this moment, and Makoto prayed that his feelings were no longer unrequited.

The ground felt hard on his knees; the dirt was on his pants but nothing could ever be compared to how guilty he was feeling at the moment.

“Makoto.”

Makoto blinked his eyes, and looked up, just to see that Haruka was now standing right in front of him. The dark haired teen had reached out his hand, and cupped Makoto’s cheek gently with his warm palm. His blue eyes were a shade of blue that Makoto had always loved, and Makoto stared at him with wide eyes, because he was unable to believe that Haruka was looking back at him, and although his face was indifferent, his blue eyes were hopeful and adoring.

Just the way he did years ago, when Makoto first realized he loved Haruka with his whole being.

“I love you too, you idiot.”

Those words were whispered so very quietly, but Makoto heard it like a thunder in an empty room. They shook his world, but all that they made was causing all the wrong pieces in Makoto’s life to fall into all their right places.

Makoto was quick on his feet, and a second later he had Haruka in his arms; his feet off the ground and his arms tight around Makoto’s neck as Makoto swirled them around.

Haruka yelped when he felt Makoto’s arms wrapped around his torso, and pulled him off the ground. His eyes clenched shut in surprise, his arms tight around Makoto’s neck as Makoto swirled them around. He heard Makoto laughed in his ear, and Haruka had to pull back a bit just to kiss him and his laughter. His palms caught Makoto’s cheeks, and their lips met in slow, but passionate kiss.

Makoto’s arms continued to hold him off the ground, as Haruka ran his fingers through Makoto’s brown locks and letting the taller teen kissing him like there was no more tomorrow. Makoto wanted to live in this moment forever, with Haruka so willing and happy in his arms and the two of them being together with no one else to stop them.

He wanted to be Haruka’s happiness, and he, selfishly, wanted Haruka to make him happy.

“Ehem.”

Makoto’s eyes opened in surprise as someone faked a cough behind them. Quickly, but gently, Makoto let Haruka – who was blushing as well – to stand on his own feet, and turned to look at the intruder.

Then he found out that his parents and Haruka’s were standing not far from them, causing his face to burn in embarrassment.

“Mother! Father! Nanase-san! I can explain!” he flailed his arms around in panics, and missed the way Haruka sighed in embarrassment just behind his larger body frame. However, the elders only looked at him with amusement visible on his face. Their responses made Makoto just wanted to dig a hole on the ground, and bury himself alive.

He literally, sexually, savaged his best friend in public, how improper for a prince!

Thank goodness there were only their parents; Makoto didn’t think he could handle it if more were to see them making out outside of the Temple with a wedding ceremony going on inside.

“Makoto-san,” Haruka’s mother started, and Makoto swiftly turned his head to look at her. Haruka behind him was still quiet, but his hand had found its way to hold onto Makoto’s. Makoto took comfort on the support he gave him, and squeezed his hand back albeit gently.

Haruka’s mother smiled at them, and gave him a small nod, “We are not angry, do not worry,” she spoke with such grace that made Makoto reminded of his own mother – who was also there, grinning at him and his misery – and she also gave Haruka a small nod, “But please be careful when you decided to get into intercourse stage… We just got a news a few months ago that our dear Haruka is a Carrier.”

Makoto felt Haruka tugged a little on the back of his shirt, almost shyly, and he could hear his own blood rushing through his ears.

“What?”

They were lying down on the futon in Makoto’s study room; Makoto on his back, and Haruka lying across him with his head on Makoto’s chest and his arm wrapped around Makoto’s waist. Makoto gently played with the dark locks on hair, while his eyes staring at the white ceiling of the study room.

The wedding ceremony had ended hours ago, and Rin had congratulated them with his shark grin, all the while with his arm around his wife. Makoto had blushed profusely, but Haruka beside him only gave Rin an indifferent expression before he congratulated Rin back on his marriage. And now the two of them were in Makoto’s room, spending the last few hours left before Makoto left for London.

“… Do you really have to go?” he heard Haruka murmured against his skin, and Makoto let out a long breath. He didn’t want to go as well, but he was back only for the weekend, and he have classes to attend tomorrow.

“I’m not on holiday, Haru… I’m just here for the wedding ceremony.” Makoto explained gently, and he felt Haruka shifted even closer to him. The news that Haruka was a Carrier was still in his mind, and it made Makoto smiled even wider as he stared at the ceiling. His arm around Haruka’s shoulders tightened as he placed a loving kiss on the top of Haruka’s head. He couldn’t wait to finish his study and get to work, so that by then he could propose to Haruka and have his family with him.

Then his mind suddenly reminded him about something. Makoto blinked his eyes, and looked down to see his boyfriend, who was close to pouting, with his chin on Makoto’s chest and his blue eyes glaring at the wall. He was probably still fuming about Makoto who had to leave for London so quickly.

“Haru,” Makoto started and Haruka lifted his head to look at him, confusedly. “Remember when I congratulated you before, and you said I should not know about it? What do you mean? I thought you were talking about Rin and you…”

Makoto slowly sat down, and Haruka let him. He looked down for a second, before his blue eyes found Makoto again. Makoto carefully gathered him close to him by his arm around his waist, and Haruka found himself falling into Makoto’s lap and against Makoto’s broad chest.

“I…” Haruka took a deep breath, and his fingers found Makoto’s before he laced them together, “I got a letter offer to further my study in America… they are offering me a swimming course and to become a professional swimmer. I thought you heard about it from your parents because my parents had told yours.”

Makoto looked at the smaller man with wide eyes. His arms around Haruka tightened a bit because somehow he could hear the confusion and distress in Haruka’s voice. Then the black haired teen looked at him again, and he leaned to press a gentle peck onto Makoto’s neck.

“I’m not sure whether I should accept the offer or not… I’ve been waiting for you to come back, and I don’t want any more distance between us. Accepting the offer means letting go of you. And that is not something I’m ready to do.” Haruka’s quiet voice continued, and Makoto only managed to nod stiffly.

He understood that.

He had wanted to put distance between them because he thought Haruka was better off without him. But Haruka had been waiting for him, hoping that maybe Makoto would change his mind and return to him. It was a foolish move on Makoto’s part; he had wasted years that he could have spent with Haruka, and now when Haruka had the offer to leave him, the dark haired teen refused to do so.

“Haru… I’m sorry I left you behind. I really thought that you are better off without me. I’m so sorry, Haru, and trust me, if you want to take the offer, just go. Because I will never let you off my sight again.” Makoto gently whispered into Haruka’s ear, and kissed him gently on his cheek. Haruka blushed a bit, although his face remained indifferent. However, he tightened the hold of their hands and leaned even closer to Makoto.

“… I thought you left because you found out about my feelings. That was four years ago.” Haruka mumbled and Makoto had to stifle his gasp. The words took their time to progress in his head but he just couldn’t believe what he just heard from Haruka. He grabbed his boyfriend by his shoulders and shook him a bit.

“You like me since we were 14?!”

Haruka made a face at his response, but his tone was kind when he reached out a hand and ran his fingers through Makoto’s brown locks.

“I’ve loved you ever since we were kids. Even now. You were just oblivious to it.”

Makoto stared at Haruka with wide eyes, and he felt tears warming his eyes. He wanted to just break down and bawl, because this was what he had always wanted. He just didn’t know that he had had it all along. And he had shamelessly, and selfishly, wasted all the years they could have had together making love and happiness with each other.

“Haru-chaaaan! I’m so sorry for being an idiot!” Makoto wailed with unshed tears and hugged the other teen tightly in his arms. Haruka only managed to wince – Makoto and his brute strength – and he awkwardly patted the bigger teen on his shoulder.

“Makoto, we’re okay now… and drop the -chan.” Haruka sighed against shoulder, but he had to smile when he felt Makoto’s hands gently rubbed onto his back. The brunette was still murmuring his apologies to him and whining about how bad he was for hurting him.

Although they only had a few hours left before Makoto’s flight to London, Haruka was feeling very much at ease. Perhaps because he knew now that all those years they were apart, he was not the only one doing the missing.

Furthermore, now Prince Tachibana Makoto and young Lord Nanase Haruka had all the time in the world to spend their love together with.