Chapter Text
Two hundred and thirty five days, thirteen hours, and forty three minutes. That’s how long he had been trapped inside this gods forsaken eight by five room with nothing but a boulder-hard bed and a literal pot to piss in. He was given three meals a day, that he hardly ate, and once a week someone would come put him in restraints and force him to get hosed down in a tile room with what he could only describe as a pressure washer. For the first fifty days he didn’t utter a single word. The visage of the fire was so bright that it overshadowed every other thought in his mind and stole the words from his throat. He would wake up screaming and thrashing himself off his bed. He’d done more than a little damage to his arms and head from the constant scratching, and his wails were loud enough that at a certain point they simply cast a sleep spell on him anytime he wasn’t quiet… which was most of the time.
Somewhere around day seventy-five someone was thrown in the room beside him. Her voice was shrill and cloying as she screamed for the attendants to “Let me FUCKING GO!” and he was positive he heard something about her taking off the tip of one of their fingers. If he wasn’t catatonic on his bed he would have smiled at that, they probably deserved it as far as he was concerned. She yelled herself raw once she was in there properly, thirty-nine minutes of it to be precise, and when she was done he heard resigned sobs take over. He knew that feeling. He’d done the same on his first day.
Most people were at least brought into gen-pop for a trial before being taken to solitary, but not him. He was deemed ‘a danger to himself and others’ before he even entered the building, and had to be put in an Anti-Magic Collar and carried in by some large half-giant woman because he simply couldn’t bring himself to walk into the noose like that. He didn’t bite a finger, or fight against the woman, but he did scream, and he did sob. He wondered if it was the same for whoever was beside him, or if she’d been put with other people at first and caused some sort of problem that landed her down here beside him. Either way, he hoped she would get out soon. But he knew she probably wouldn’t.
It wasn’t until three days later that he heard another word from the other side of the wall. Just a tiny, quiet, “Hello?” That seemed to echo through a grate somewhere beside his paltry excuse for a bed. He didn’t answer.
“Hello? Please… I… I heard you last night… you woke up screaming. I just want to make sure you’re alive.”
He took a long inhale in, peeling himself from the mattress and forcing himself to look down and examine the grate, not sure what he hoped he’d see but already being disappointed by the fact that it really was… just a grate.
“ Hallo ?” It was the first time he’d used his voice for anything but crying or screeching since he didn’t know how long and the word came out scratchy and unpleasant. He winced at his own voice.
“Oh thank the Gods! You’re okay. Alright. Thank you.” He heard back, along with some shuffling, then a small tapping noise against the wall. “Do you know how long I’ve been here?” The voice came quieter now, unsure.
“Three days, four hours, nine minutes.” He responded, clearing his throat and wishing he had the will to drag himself over to the water basin and have a drink from the small cup the attendants left beside it.
“How do you know that?” The voice sounded awed now, closer, like she was pressed up right against the grate.
“I am cursed with a perfect internal clock.” He shrugged a little even if she couldn’t see him.
“Wow.”
There was silence again for a bit then, for a long while. Long enough that a guard came and made rounds, looking in the small slits in the doors to make sure no one in the solitary rooms had tried to hurt themselves. She waited until they were well gone to speak again.
“I’m Nott. My name is Nott.”
He paused. He thought. He didn’t want to give her his name. He didn’t want to be Bren. Not anymore. Not after what he’d done. He couldn’t even bring himself to make the sound, the name felt… dirty… now, he felt as if he wasn't worthy of the name his parents gave him, not after what he'd done to them... accident or not.
“I’m Caleb.” That would do for now.
“Caleb.” She repeated. It sounded nice when she said it, even if her voice was less than pleasant. At least it was a voice.
“Nott.” He said back.
They talked like that every day for the next four weeks.
Neither even dared to ask why the other was in there, it didn’t matter now, they were here and that was that and at least now with Nott on the other side of the wall Caleb had a friend. He learned a little bit about her. He learned she was a goblin, that she came from a town not too far away, and that she liked buttons. It made the days pass faster, so much faster, and even though Caleb had never found himself one for company, he was grateful for it now. She sounded young, Caleb thought she couldn’t be more than eighteen with how high her voice was, maybe she was even a child. He pushed that thought down, that was far too awful of a thing to dwell on… a child in here was maybe the most horrendous thing he’d ever managed to conjure up in that mind of his since he’d been trapped here… and he watched his flames engulf his parents and burn them to death every night when he slept.
He woke up one morning to a frantic knock on his wall and a hushed voice through the grate.
“Caleb! Caleb!”
He shot up in bed and scrambled over to his regular place on the floor beside it, leaning in as if he could see her if he looked hard enough.
“Nott? Are you okay? Is everything okay?” He felt panic rising in his throat.
“No! I mean, yes… but no! I heard one of the attendants talking to a doctor outside my door earlier. I’m getting out! Well… not out out , but out of here, out of this fucking room!”
Caleb couldn’t help the tiny, almost imperceptible, smile that pulled only on the left side of his mouth, and he also couldn’t help the hollow, empty feeling that crept into his chest and sat there like a chimera.
“ Liebling …” he hummed, pressing his hand against the wall, “This is good news. You’ll see the sun again.” He wanted to cry but held it back, he couldn’t do that to her, couldn’t make her feel guilty for being given more freedom.
“But Caleb what about y-”
“No buts, Nott. This is a good thing, ja ? I will be fine. I…. I bet I will be right behind you.” He lied, really fighting back the tears now.
“You’ll be right behind me.” She repeated in earnest.
That was the last time he heard her voice through the wall. And then he was alone again. For nearly a hundred days.
Two hundred and thirty five days, thirteen hours, and forty three minutes. And then suddenly. He was out.
The goliath woman attendee held him by the arm for almost the entire time. Getting him hosed off one last time, and giving him a pair of simple, almost uniform, clothes to put on. He thought she would take him back to his room, even with the change of clothes he had no reason to think otherwise, but then they were going up a set of stairs and into a large hallway. He hardly registered what was happening as they went, his mind still plenty foggy from the last sleep spell he’d been put under.
“Doc says it’s time for you to join everyone else.” The woman said as she pulled him up yet another set of stairs. “He says if you’re good, you take your medications, and you don’t miss any appointments with him, that you’ll be able to stay in general population, too.” She was saying it like it was a reward, like being in here was coveted, Caleb knew better than to believe it. She unlocked the shackles on Caleb’s wrists that he hadn’t even noticed she’d put on before and slung them over her shoulder, unlocking a set of double doors with a small key and throwing them open.
The sunlight hit him hard, nearly blinding him from the brightness after so many days of dark. He instinctively reached up a hand to shade his eyes and winced as he was gently pushed forward into a huge, floor to ceiling, windowed room.
He tried to gain his bearings but felt like he was falling. It was too much too fast and he was scared he was going to faint right then and there and be dragged back down to the depths of this place before he even got a chance. But then he heard it. Her voice.
“Nott?” He called out quietly, still half blind and stumbling.
“Caleb!”