Chapter Text
It wasn't extremely uncommon to see a bat or a bird when you lived in Gotham. Most of the time if you paid attention to the sky, you could see one shoot by, kind of like shooting stars... except you couldn’t really see shooting stars in the polluted Gotham sky, so the bats and birds were kind of like the city’s equivalent to shooting stars.
Red huffed to themselves at the thought of wishing on a bat.
Now despite the common occurrence of seeing the masked vigilantes fly by if you paid attention, finding one, unconscious, in a dumpster was not nearly as common. And yet, Red had found a bat in a dumpster twice, they had the selfies to prove it too.
“If I had a nickel for every time I was doomed by a puppet” they said to themself, snorting as they pulled out their phone to take another selfie.
Red could not WAIT to tell their roommate about this once they got back up to their apartment.
Once the selfie was obtained, they grabbed a pebble, not really wanting to get hit in the face by getting too close, and flicked it at the stinky man.
The pebble hit the guy in the nose, making him startle awake with a high screech.
Both of them stared at each other for a few seconds.
“Uhh, I kinda need to throw this away and you’re in the way” Red gestured to the trash bag at their feet, “so if you could so kindly, maybe, mooove? I’d appreciate it” They shuffled awkwardly where they stood, a couple meters away.
It seemed to take a couple more seconds for the black and blue clad vigilante to reboot his brain.
“What? Oh right, uh, goodnight” And in a flash he was trapezing away, holding his ear, talking to himself, or maybe his co-workers? Red had no clue how vigilantes worked.
With the vigilante out of the dumpster and the trash bag in the dumpster, Red sprinted back up to their apartment.
They threw the door open and slammed it shut as they ran inside and jumped onto their roommate who was laying peacefully on the couch.
“Wha- hey-”
“You will not believe what just happened!” Red shouted in Greens face.
“Ok?? Did you have to nearly tackle me off the sofa?” Green shoved Red’s face away.
“Absolutely, anyways-” they adjusted their position to sit on the couch instead of on their friend, face still turned towards the other “- guess who I found in the dumpster?”
“Jimmy from apartment 3B? I told the guy to stop doing that, but all he wants is to be the racoon king so of course he never listens-”
“What! No, why would I be excited by Jimmy from 3B?”
“I don’t know, maybe he finally managed to tame the racoons?”
“That would be pretty cool, but no! I found Nightwing in the dumpster!” Red exclaimed at their friend.
“Wait wait wait, Nightwing, black and blue, great ass, Bludheaven, Nightwing?” Green asked, suddenly so much more interested in what Red had to say.
“That’s the bitch!” Red crossed their arms across their chest proudly.
“Did you get proof?” Green narrowed their eyes at Red, who in turn rolled theirs.
“Who do you think I am?” they deadpanned and pulled out their phone, the selfie of them and Nightwing, already their lock screen, now matching the unconscious Batman in a dumpster, home screen. Both true gems.
“Holy shit! That’s hilarious” Green burst out laughing.
“You think I could sell this for a good amount of money?” Red asked jokingly, “Maybe Red Hood would like it?” Green snorted at that.
“Dude, keep it as blackmail, so that if you meet Nightwing or Batman again, you can just ask for the money directly.” Green pointed out “I bet they’re rich as shit, especially if they can afford all those fancy gadgets of theirs”
Red leaned against their friend “Yeah, you’re totally right.”
“I’m always right” Green said. Red looked at her with a look that said ‘really?’.
“I am though!”
“Yesterday you decided to put eight table spoons of vanilla extract in the cake mix even though I told you it only needed one tea spoon ”
“You just wanted to stifle my creativity” Green huffed.
“I wanted a good cake”
“Well, I guess we can't always get what we want”
For a while they both just stared at each other, before they burst out laughing, loud enough for the lady in the apartment above to stomp on the ground to silence them.
“Only in Gotham, huh.” Snorted Green.