Chapter Text
(This fic starts off in Chapter 21 of The Wicked King.)
“You shouldn’t be alone,” I say, because if the Undersea is going to strike, then we must not give it any easy targets. “Not tonight.”
Cardan grins. “I hadn’t planned on it.”
The offhand implication that he’s not alone most nights bothers me, and I hate that it does. “Good,” I say, swallowing that feeling, though it feels like swallowing bile. “But if you’re planning on taking someone to bed, choose a guard.”
“None of the guards have caught my eye. Am I allowed to substitute a guard with an accomplished swordswoman and spy?” He is teasing me and I am lacking in both sleep and patience.
“I’m being serious, Cardan. Do not go to bed alone tonight.”
He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows. “Is that…” but I interrupt before he can finish the thought.
“Think of it as a sincere and urgent request.”
“If I didn’t know better, it would sound like you care for me.” A small smile creeps on his lips.
“It’s a good thing you do know better,” I say. His smile remains, but his eyes narrow at me. “Your death would cause me a headache and I am quite busy.”
“Very well. Do you have any recommendations?” He takes a step closer. “You seem to keep a list of everyone who appears interested in me.”
I narrow my eyes at him and ignore the last part of his comment. “Take whomever your heart desires. As long as you’re not alone.”
“Will you be alone tonight?” He says, taking another step closer, closing on the distance between us. My breath hitches but I am able to control it quickly.
“I am not the one…” I begin but trail off mid-sentence. I want to say that I am not the one whose life is at risk, but a sharp pain shooting through my leg reminds me that there are at least six people who want me dead. I let out a huff of a laugh. “Actually, seven people did try to kill me last night. Perhaps I shouldn’t be alone either.”
Cardan’s demeanor shifts from playful to something similar to concern. “What? Do you know who?”
“No, they were wearing masks and cloaks. It happened on my way to Madoc’s estate last night.” I turn slightly and lift my dress so he can see the wound on my leg.
“Those stitches look dreadful,” Cardan says with pursed lips.
I let out a sarcastic scoff. “I did them myself. I take great offense to that.”
“At least it doesn’t look infected.” He takes out a handkerchief from his pocket and gently wraps it around the ointment-covered wound. His hands move slowly and linger on my leg for a moment or two. “This is not something to take lightly, Jude. If seven people want you dead and they desire it badly enough to risk doing so near or on Madoc’s estate…”
“Well, six people want me dead.” He cocks his head to the side and furrows his brows. “They started it. It was self-defense.”
He lets out a long sigh and brings his fingers to his forehead and begins gently massaging his temple. Perhaps his concern is turning to exhaustion. “Honestly, Jude. You shouldn’t be alone either.”
“That’s what the Roach keeps telling me.”
“Ah.” Light flickers back into his deep black eyes and the corner of his lips curl. “Are you planning on taking him to bed tonight?”
I gently smack his arm and my expression softens as well. “That is not what I meant.”
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” Cardan says dreamily with a shrug and a smile. “Maybe the two of you would make a good couple.”
I lift my head high and smile “We would, but I’m afraid his heart belongs to another.” I remove my leg from the chair and let the silvery gown drape to the floor. I straighten it out, making sure that the bandage beneath is not visible.
“Another secret. Someday you will have to share them all with me.” Cardan’s eyes are fixed on me, moving from my eyes to my lips and my hair. His hand moves to it to fix a stray lock and tucks it behind my curved, human ear.
“I must confess something, Jude.” His lazy smile has faded and his voice is quiet now. “You said you got it out of your system…”
His hand is still in my hair. I meet his gaze. There is no fury or fire in his eyes. Even the burning desire they held when we were in the room behind the dais has vanished. What remains is a soft, almost desperate look. I can feel my heart start to race and my breathing becomes unsteady.
“But I have not.” His voice is barely above a whisper now. My cheeks instantly heat. His gaze drifts back to my lips and his fingers gently stroke my hair.
“I have not yet had my fill, but I will respect your wishes.” He removes his fingers from my hair and begins to turn away.
Maybe it’s the pain from my leg, my lack of sleep, or the weight of his confession, but I can’t think straight. I quickly, but gently, grab his hand without thinking, catching it only a few inches from my face. We are now standing so close that I can feel his warm breath and I see the muscles in his jaw loosen ever so slightly.
“Cardan…” My voice comes out quiet and shaky. “I am a very good liar.”
The only sound in the room is our audible breath. We both stand perfectly still, inches apart, for what could have been a few seconds or an hour until a knock on the door brings me back to reality. I release his hand and turn away. My cheeks are still hot when I finally set the ointment down on a nearby table, thankful for the excuse to put some distance between us.
I didn’t hear anyone approach. Was I that distracted? Or have they been standing there, listening through the door?
“You may enter,” Cardan calls out in a perfectly collected, regal voice.
The door opens, revealing Madoc who is standing tall, unphased by the scene in front of him. He looks at the two of us, no doubt noticing the remains of my flushed cheeks. “Your Highness. Jude. If I am interrupting…”
“No,” I say too quickly. I shoot a look at Cardan and we make brief eye contact before he returns his attention to the door.
“Grand General Madoc," Cardan greets him. "Congratulations. Your daughter is getting married. You must be overjoyed at the union.”
“I am happy to see Taryn happy,” he responds, face as still as stone. It’s not a lie; he may not be happy that Taryn is marrying Locke, but he does want her to be happy. “If I may,” he begins, eyes fixed on Cardan, “I would like a moment alone with my daughter.”
“Of course,” Cardan says with a smile. He begins walking toward the door and Madoc steps aside to let Cardan through. Now in the doorway, Cardan looks back to me. “Jude. I shall wait for you downstairs.” With that, he is gone.
I pretend to fix my appearance to avoid looking at Madoc for too long. He leans against the door frame, looking into the hallway, waiting for Cardan’s footsteps to recede. After a few heartbeats, he turns and steps into the room.
“I came up here to retrieve Oak.”
“Vivi beat you to it. He should already be downstairs,” I say, still avoiding eye contact.
“I hadn’t intended on eavesdropping.”
“But you did eavesdrop?” I ask, finally turning to him.
“I have been wondering for some time why you made him High King, why you hid him from me after the coronation.” His stare is intense. “I thought perhaps the two of you made a bargain or that you held something over him. I did not suspect you were smitten with each other.” There is a little bit of venom in his voice now, but he remains stoic and calm.
I look at him, matching his intensity. “We are not smitten with each other.”
I want to believe I am not lying, but it’s getting harder and harder to separate the truth from the lies these days.
He scoffs, obviously taking it as a lie. “So what then, why are you siding with the Boy King? Why are you choosing him over your family?”
“I’m not! This all started because I wanted to help my family.”
“By banishing Oak to the mortal realm? Oriana is sick with grief. She misses him dearly. Is that what you intended when you set out to help?”
“No, but Oak is too young to be King. Now that everyone knows he is of the Greenbriar line, he is at risk. He is at risk right now. He is in danger and we are actively using him as bait! He is safer away from all of this,” I gesture very generally to my surroundings. “He can choose to return when he is older.”
“That doesn’t explain why you crowned Cardan. Why not use whatever sway you have over him to crown Balekin instead?”
“Balekin is awful.”
“I recall you feeling the same way towards Cardan, but feelings can change.”
“You’re misunderstanding the situation.”
“No, I think I understand it just fine.”
“No. No, you don’t. Your goals, my goals, Cardan’s goals, they all align more closely than you think.”
“Is that so? Then please elaborate.”
I am exhausted by this conversation. I need him to stop standing in my way, opposing me, talking down to me. As frustrated as I am, I do not want to make an enemy of Madoc.
I let out a sigh. “Oak is too young to take the throne. Balekin would be a menace as High King. What did you plan to do after Balekin was crowned? Convince him to crown Oak? Kill Balekin and hope some other member of the Greenbriar line survived so they could crown him?”
“I had a plan.”
“I’m sure you did, but I don’t trust it. I don’t trust you,” I say to him. Still as stone, Madoc looks at me, unphased. “I did not give Cardan the crown. I forced it on him. I tricked him, lied to him. He thought that he was going to crown Oak.”
I pause for a breath. Madoc is still and watching me carefully. “Cardan did not want to be High King. That is why he made me his seneschal, to make me do the work. Payback for my deceit.”
I keep waiting for Madoc to interrupt me, or ask a question, but he just stares. So I continue, “Cardan plans to abdicate when Oak is old enough to rule on his own.”
“And you believe him?” Finally, Madoc asks a question.
“Yes.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
I let out a long sigh and throw my hands in the air. “I don’t know. Maybe he’ll grow to love ruling. Maybe he’ll turn out to be a great King. Maybe someone will assassinate him before then, or he’ll get so drunk he falls off a balcony. Maybe Oak will decide he doesn’t want to be High King. Maybe Oak will fall in love with a mortal and decide to stay in that world.”
Madoc is silently staring at me again. I will not tell him I share his concerns. I will not tell him that my schemes are an effort to keep him from controlling Oak. I will not tell him Cardan is under my command, but not for much longer.
“What matters now is that Oak is safe and Balekin is not High King. We have several years to work out a plan for whatever happens," I say.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Madoc asks, his eyes showing their first glint of emotion in the entire conversation.
“I had a plan.” I spit his words back at him. It is frustrating to be left in the dark, to be left without power or agency.
“Then don’t let your feelings get in the way of it.” He turns on his heels and is gone before I can retort.
He will never trust me. I will never be more than a foolish child to him. Madoc believes I am smitten and will throw away any logic or ambition for a boy.
I am furious but I take a few deep breaths to calm myself before I go downstairs. Madoc, thankfully, is nowhere to be seen. I spot Vivi, Heather, and Cardan sitting in a lounging area. Oak is not with them. He is likely with Madoc, but his absence still troubles me. I walk over to the trio to find Cardan opening the gift Vivi brought for him. Cardan pulls out a snow globe out of the matte black gift bag.
“This is delightful,” Cardans says with a laugh. “I will display it with pride.”
“There’s a cat in it!” Vivi grins.
Cardan looks at me as I approach. He is wearing a genuine smile. There is no trace of trickery or arrogance. Despite the crown and the finery, he almost looks childish. Cardan shakes the snow globe and shows it to me as I approach. Inside is a cat and it says congratulations on your promotion. It is a silly gift. It makes me smile too.
“Where did you find this?” I ask Vivi.
“You’d be surprised at some of the things you can buy in the mortal realm. It’s cute, right?”
“Very. I suppose being crowned High King is technically a promotion.” Even if it was a forced, unwanted promotion.
“I always liked cats,” Cardan says, watching the snowflakes fall on the little cat’s head. “They are so unbothered.” He watches for a moment or two longer before placing it back in the bag, looping the strings on his wrist. “Well,” he says, standing up, “shall we join the festivities?”
Before I can respond, he hooks his free arm around mine and leads us out to the garden of Locke’s estate with Vivi and Heather a few steps behind.
As we walk towards the celebration in the middle of the maze, I look over my shoulder at Heather and Vivi. “Vivi, remember where we are and who you are with. Heather, please stay with one of us.”
“You do sound like Oriana,” Vivi says as she rolls her eyes.
Cardan gently pats my arm, still hooked around his. “Jude is feeling very protective today.” His tone is full of condescension. I glare at him as Vivi snorts behind us. “Heather, you are a guest of Vivi’s and a guest of mine. You will be safe here. I could not say it if it were not true.”
“You guys really can’t lie, can you?” Heather asks.
“You would be surprised how little that matters. Clever words and omissions can be just as deceiving,” I say in a stern tone. Vivi did her a disservice by not preparing her properly.
“Lighten up, Jude," Vivi says. "You’re really bringing down the mood.” I look back at her and scowl. She responds by sticking her tongue out at me. Heather laughs and gently pushes Vivi before grabbing her hand.
As much as I want to remind Vivi that we are at the wedding of the man who courted me to hurt his bride, our sister, before proposing to her, all without lying, I bite my tongue. The sight of Heather enjoying herself with Vivi is enough for me to quash the frustration building in my chest.
We get through the maze with little difficulty and find ourselves in the center near a fountain. Guests are mingling about: drinking, dancing, and chatting in small groups. We come to a halt and form a little circle. I see the Ghost and Vulciber in the distance, deep in discussion. I catch the Ghost’s gaze for a brief moment before he returns his attention to his conversation.
“Where is Taryn?” Heather asks.
“She and Locke are off somewhere making their vows in private. They’ll join the party when they’re done," Vivi responds.
A small fairy with horns and moss-green hair walks past carrying a tray of wine. Vivi grabs two and hands one to Heather. Cardan reaches for one, receiving a nod from the fae. The small fairy looks at me expectantly and I shake my head and raise my hand.
“That’s the boring part of a wedding anyway,” says Heather. Vivi lets out a small laugh. “So…” Heather looks at me and then at Cardan, “What are you two?” At that, Vivi covers her mouth to cover a bigger laugh. I can feel the color leave my face. I start to wiggle my arm free of Cardan’s, but he holds it tighter.
Wasting no time, and possibly not understanding Heather’s underlying question, Cardan responds. “I am the High King of Elfhame,” he says with a dramatic flourish, swinging the matte black gift bag around his wrist and spilling a few drops of wine. Vivi gives a deep, exaggerated courtesy while grinning. He is pleased with the response, giving Vivi a nod of approval. “Jude,” gesturing to me, “is my seneschal.” I give my least enthusiastic smile.
“What is a seneschal?” Heather asks.
“We’re coworkers,” I respond.
Vivi snorts and raises her eyebrows. “He’s your boss!” Heather’s smile is wide and Cardan’s grip on my arm tightens as he leans into me.
“I quite like the sound of that.” He grins at Vivi and then back at me. “Jude, as your boss, I would like to give you some orders.” Heather and Vivi are both snickering.
Everyone is enjoying this far more than I am. “Cardan,” I let out a brief sigh, “you are the High King. You are everyone’s boss.” His grin remains plastered on his face. I don’t want to think about the orders he’d like to give me after what I’ve made him do. I turn my attention to Heather, to properly answer her question, “I give him advice and take care of some of the more mundane tasks.”
“Leaving me to drink and dance,” Cardan adds. He lifts his glass to me and takes a drink.
The remnants of wine create a thin line of gold in the crease of his lips. Cardan catches me looking and smiles softly. I look down as I feel my cheeks start to heat. I regret not taking a glass now, not because I want a drink, but because I wish I had something to do with my hands.
After a moment or two of silence, Heather looks into her wine, admiring the golden liquid before saying into her glass, “Okay, well…I’ve never had that kind of coworker before.” She takes a deep drink to conceal her smile. Vivi, who was mid-sip, spits out the wine in a golden mist and bursts out laughing. Cardan is shaking, trying desperately not to laugh, at Vivi or at what Heather said, I’m not sure.
“Heather, I don’t know what I did to you to deserve such vicious mockery.” I try to remain serious, but amusement and embarrassment seep through my tone. She responds with a wide smile and a wink.
We converse like this for a few minutes before I notice Madoc, Oriana, and Oak emerge into the center of the maze. Madoc looks at me and nods, a sign that the final attempt to coax the Undersea into attack, was unsuccessful.
“Cardan,” I say, stealing his attention from Vivi, who is telling Heather riveting stories of her time in Faerie. I tilt my head to where Madoc, Oriana, and Oak stand.
“This is an unexpected development,” he says quietly. He sets his empty wine glass on a passing tray.
“I should check in with Madoc.” My ego feels deflated, but I try to feign confidence.
“We should check in with Madoc.” He squeezes my arm. “I am the High King, surely I can be privy to the kingdom’s plans.”
He’s right, but his presence makes it difficult for me to get things done. I think back to the diner coffee I shared with the Roach. Whether I treat Cardan as the High King or a member of the Court of Shadows, I owe him this information. I spot the Roach on the outskirts of the crowd with the Ghost and a guard. The Ghost once again catches my eye, as if he means to tell me something. If it was time-sensitive, he would no doubt tell me, so I shift my attention back to Cardan.
“Should I not leave you to your drinking and dancing?”
“You told me I should not be alone. What if I am attacked or kidnapped the moment you leave my side?” His tone is dripping with sarcasm.
“Doubtful,” I say, rolling my eyes.
He leans so close that I can feel his breath tickle my neck, “I am only following your urgent and sincere request. You are my guard for tonight.” I do not allow myself to get distracted by his implication.
If you’re planning on taking someone to bed, choose a guard.
Am I allowed to substitute a guard with an accomplished swordswoman and spy?
“Excuse us, ladies,” Cardan says to Vivi and Heather, both seemingly unaware that we were having a separate conversation. Heather nods understandingly while Vivi traces my gaze over to Oak. I give Vivi what I hope is a reassuring smile. “Jude and I have some business to take care of.” Cardan’s lips curl into a devious grin as he winks at Heather. The two of them are snickering as we step away.
“You are enjoying this too much,” I say with a sigh. Cardan smiles again, head held high.