Chapter Text
Sebastian felt a sinking feeling as the train rounded the last curve and the first glimpse of the castle came into his view. It had been five years since he had seen that view, and frankly, he never planned on returning to Hogwarts. The school held so many memories, some good, but many bad. He couldn’t help but think back to his fifth year, the year that changed his life. He wondered where Ominis and Helena were today, he hadn’t heard anything from either of them after graduation. He and Helena had maintained a close friendship during their final two years at Hogwarts, but, as things often go, they went their separate ways after graduation. Last he had heard, Ominis had gotten some important job at the Ministry, and Helena, well, she seemed to have disappeared entirely. The train slowed as they reached the Hogsmeade Station, where Professor Weasley was meeting him.
As the train came to a stop Sebastian stood and grabbed his trunk from the shelf above him. It was enchanted to fit all of his belongings, but even then, it didn’t have to be very large, he didn’t own much. He took a deep breath and walked off the train. There was a small crowd on the platform, but nothing like what would be there in just two short weeks, when the new school year began.
Professor Weasley’s owl had been unexpected, to say the least. Sebastian had been traveling the world since graduation, seeking out dark wizards and making them pay for their crimes. Of course, he was still searching for a cure for Anne, despite not having spoken to his twin in years. His business was not Ministry-sanctioned and as far as he was aware, nobody knew how to reach him, just another reason Professor Weasley’s owl had surprised him. He wondered how his old Professor knew his whereabouts, but decided it was probably better not to ask. It was probably better to avoid discussion of the last five years altogether. The letter contained little information, simply that Professor Hecat, the beloved Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had passed under ‘suspicious circumstances’ and that Professor Black would like to offer her position to Sebastian. Though the professors did not know his intimate past with the Dark Arts, they knew he had some connection to them, and knew that he had spent a long time trying to make amends for that past.
“Mr. Sallow,” the familiar voice made Sebastian smile, he couldn’t help it. Professor Weasley had always seen a light in every student, even the ones that couldn’t see it themselves.
“Professor Weasley,” Sebastian turned to face her. She was shorter than he remembered, or perhaps, he was taller. The years had been kind to her though, she barely looked any different than she had on the day he had graduated. “It is good to see you again Professor.”
“Please, Sebastian, we are colleagues now, Matilda is fine.”
Sebastian nodded, although the idea of calling Professor Weasley, Matilda, did feel a bit odd to him. Part of him still felt like a fifth year, as if he had left a part of himself behind that year. He shook off the thought, “I was sorry to hear about Professor Hecat.”
Matilda’s face darkened a little at the mention of her late colleague, “Yes, it was sad news for us all. But perhaps, best to wait until we reach the castle for such discussions.”
Sebastian nodded, a bit confused at the Professor’s desire to keep the conversation private. The station was quiet, only a few witches and wizards were hovering about, most of them seemed far too busy meeting their own friends and family to care about a conversation between the two of them. However, he knew better than to question her, seems that all those years at Hogwarts had taught him a few life skills. Without another word, she led him to a carriage that was waiting near the platform. He smiled, remembering the first time he had rode one of these carriages as a second year. How simple life was then . The thestrals who were pulling the carriage turned to him with a look that almost made Sebastian feel as if they knew him.
Pushing aside the unsettling moment, he stepped in front of Matilda and opened the door of the carriage, “Let me get the door for you, Professor.”
Matilda smiled at him, not correcting him for continuing to refer to her as Professor Weasley, and stepped inside the carriage. Sebastian followed her inside and sat opposite from her. As the carriage began moving, Sebastian felt his stomach sink. He was going back to Hogwarts, the one place he had never imagined returning to. He wondered if it would feel the same, if he would recognize the stone walls that he had called home for so long. He wondered if he’d feel like an outsider, the way he had after their fifth year. The first few years at Hogwarts had been some of the best years of his life, but the last two were far from it. Between the loss of his sister, and the loss of his best friend, he spent most of his remaining time at Hogwarts in a dissociative fog, barely aware of himself. Helena had been the one bright spot during those years, she had become his home. Now, he had no home, he hadn’t stayed in one place longer than a few months, always having to pack up and leave when word started to spread about the sudden disappearances of dark wizards. It was the life he chose for himself, and, in many ways, the life he felt he deserved.
Matilda broke the silence, “I assume you’re a bit anxious to be returning. It’s normal, you know, I couldn’t believe it when I returned to Hogwarts. I felt like a student again, nervous to start a new school year.”
Sebastian nodded, “I worry that I’m not prepared to be a professor. I don’t have your gift of faith, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your faith in the students, in the other professors. You see the best in everyone.”
Matilda laughed, “Do you think Professor Sharp sees the best in everyone?”
“Well, no. But he was never my favorite professor,” Sebastian felt the pit in his stomach grow at the thought of seeing the other professors, now that he was supposedly their equal. Many of them had made it clear that they did not appreciate his mischievous activities when he was in school, he wondered if they would still see him as that reckless teenager. He wondered if he was that reckless teenager.
“Aesop Sharp is a gifted wizard, and while he may not be the warmest professor, he is one of the best men I have ever known. Sebastian, I would not have suggested you for this position if I did not believe you were the best fit,” Matilda smiled at the man, remembering the boy she had once known, “I always knew you were destined for great things.”
Sebastian was surprised at her words, out of all of his friends, he felt he was one who was probably the least destined to do anything great. Hunting dark wizards was the closest he felt he could get to even doing anything worthwhile. There was a silence that hung between them for a moment. The carriage was drawing ever closer to the castle, and Sebastian’s anxiety was growing with every pace of the thestrals. He had only two weeks to prepare for a semester of teaching, he thought of all his adventures since graduation, and wondered how on earth can one even begin to teach a student about the things he had seen. The pain and suffering caused by these dark wizards was too much, even for him, at times. Neither he, nor Matilda broke the silence this time, instead they finished their ride to Hogwarts in silence, each of them sitting with their thoughts, and worries. The light outside the carriage was beginning to dim as the sun started to dip below the horizon, it cast a dark shadow on Sebastian’s face.
As the carriage passed through the front gate it came to a gentle stop and the two professors stepped out. Matilda finally broke the silence, “Well, Sebastian Sallow, welcome back to Hogwarts.”