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Bo-Katan rubbed her eyes and opened them slowly. She wasn’t sure where she was or even how she got there. She was standing in a meadow full of a beautiful array of flowers and plants and a short distance away was a cliff that overlooked a large city.
She decided to walk closer to the edge to get a better look when she noticed she wasn’t wearing her armor. She was wearing a soft white linen tunic with blue trim, blue pants, and brown boots. She noticed the sash around her waist had the symbol of Clan Kryze. Bo-Katan couldn’t remember the last time she was something other than her flight suit and her armor. It was an unfamiliar but comforting feeling, especially when the gentle breeze hit her skin.
As she stepped near the edge, Bo-Katan was taken back by the view of the city below. It sat in the center of a lush green landscape with rolling hills surrounding it. In the center of the city, smoke billowed from what seemed like the Great Forge. If she squinted, the city looked a bit like Old Sundari. She wasn’t sure. She had only ever seen pictures in her books from when she was a child. Where was she?
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” A familiar voice spoke to her. Bo was rattled. There was just no way it could be. Not after all this time. She buried her. She dug her grave herself. No. Tears started to sting Bo’s eyes. This was some sick torturous game Moff Gideon was playing on her, right? It had to be. There was just no way it was her.
A gentle hand was placed on Bo’s shoulder.
Bo-Katan slowly turned around and there was Satine. She was whole and smiling, very much alive.
“H…how are you standing there? I buried you…you died,” Bo shook her head as she tried to find one of her blasters before remembering she wasn’t in her armor. She took a step back.
“It’s okay Bo. I’ve come back to visit you in your dreams. You are safe here. It’s just us. Together again,” Satine smiled softly as she moved closer to her sister, reaching out with her hand.
“I don’t...no…” Bo-Katan was in disbelief. Bo was hesitant at first but then grabbed her sister’s hand. It was warm and soft, just as she remembered. “Satine, you came back after all this time.”
“I did,” Satine whispered.
“It’s been so long... I just…I couldn’t…” Bo’s voice trailed off.
“You finally let me in. I tried many times to come back to you, Bo, but you never let me in.”
Bo looked away, “I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“I’m sorry too. Come! Let’s sit over here on these rocks. We need to talk,” Satine led her sister by the end to two large flat rocks along the cliff’s edge.
The sisters sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before Bo-Katan spoke first, “The city looks like Old Sundari. Like in the books Mom used to have us read.”
“That’s because it is Sundari. We’re home, Bo. Mandalore is ours again, and it has been reborn. This is because of you and what you did.
“I didn’t do this. This isn’t real, Satine. This isn’t real. The Mandalore that is real is a bombed-out shell of what it used to be.”
“But you united the tribes and brought everyone home. Gideon is dead because of you. Mandalore is free. Bo, you are a hero.”
“No! I’m not a hero. All I’ve done is fail our people over and over again. I get people killed. You’re dead because of me,” Bo snapped. The years of guilt and grief hung heavy.
“You didn’t cause my death. That was Pre Vizsla and Maul’s doing. Bo, I know if you were in that room that night, you would have done everything in your power to stop it. Pre and Maul used us both to get what they wanted. Bo, my sweet sister, please know I never thought you were responsible for any of this. You were still a child,” Satine said as she tried to pull her sister into a comforting hug.
Bo-Katan pulled away from her sister’s grasp again and stood up to face her sister. “But why did you send me away? I was 16, and I needed you. I needed my sister! After everything…you always promised you would stand by me even when Mom and Dad didn’t. Dad only saw me as the next great Clan Kryze Warrior. Mom saw me as her problem child. But you…you were the only one who saw me for me. I never had to hide who I was around you. But then you got wrapped up in that stupid pacificist political crap, and you pushed me aside. And you sent me away.”
Satine sighed sadly, “It wasn’t that simple, Bo. You know that. After so many years of warfare and unrest, I thought…my advisors and I thought this was our best shot to bring stability to our people. We had to try. We had to send the traditionalists to Concordia if we had any hopes of making this work. I didn’t want to send you away, but my advisors said I had to, and if I didn’t, the people would see me as a hypocrite. Oh, the Duchess keeps her warrior sister on Mandalore, but the others had to be banished. I hated every second of it. Please know that. And if I knew that meant you would join Death Watch, I would have stood my ground and not given in.”
“I was so angry and hurt, Satine. That’s why I joined Pre and Death Watch. He offered me a home and a chance to be someone Dad could be proud of, but it wasn’t that at all…” Bo hung her head and stared at her boots.
“Dad was always so proud of you. Always! You carried our culture and our traditions, and you knew what it meant to be a Mandalorian,” Satine stood up and stepped towards her sister, “I promise you that about Dad. I got to admit, at times, I would be jealous of how proud he was of your warrior abilities even though I hated it.”
Bo scoffed and shook her head, “I just wish Dad could have accepted all of me and not just the fighter part of me…not like Pre was any better.” Bo didn’t look up at her sister as she played with a small rock with her foot. She needed to unburden herself of the trauma. She needed her sister. But she never told anyone about what happened before, not even Ahsoka. She could feel the anxiety build and the bile rise in her throat.
“What happened?” Satine approached her sister cautiously, “Did Pre hurt you?”
Bo took a deep breath as she tried to settle herself down as best as she could. “This isn’t easy but if you need to know,” Bo pointed to a scar on her forehead, “This was from the first time I dared question his judgment during a small council meeting.” Bo pushed up her sleeve and pointed to a jagged scar on the side of her arm, “And this one because I looked at him the wrong way when he decided to drink too much. There are other ones, but I would have to strip to show you those.”
Satine looked at her sister with both horror and pity in her eyes, “I’m so sorry.”
“Please don’t look at me like that. Please. I can’t stand it,” Bo felt sick to her stomach, “The other Death Watch women used to look at me like that. They knew but never did anything. I think they were just glad it wasn’t them. At first, the abuse was just physical, and he loved to yell at me and degrade me. He didn’t start coming to my tent at night until he saw me make eyes at another girl in Death Watch. He didn't want any of that queer shit as he put it in his group. He told me he was going to make me right. I swear I didn’t look anyone. But he didn’t believe me.” Bo squeezed her eyes shut as she hugged herself tightly.
“Oh, Bo…I didn’t know.”
“He told me I deserved it and that I just needed to take it. The first few times, I tried to fight him off me, but it just hurt so much. After a while, I stopped and I tried to disassociate. But it always hurt.” Tears began to fall from Bo’s eyes, “I tried to stop him, Satine. I just couldn’t. He was too strong. I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t stop Maul…or Gideon.” Bo couldn’t fight it anymore, and she broke down.
Satine wrapped her younger sister in her arms and held her tightly. She whispered, “Pre’s gone, Maul’s gone and now Gideon is gone. I promise you that you’re safe. I love you so much, Bo.”
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry.” Bo buried her face into her sister’s shoulder as she cried, “This is all my fault. I’m sorry. I love you, Satine. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“It’s okay. Let it all out, Bo. You have been holding on to this for way too long. You were just a girl who had so much taken from her. I never blamed you for any of this. I’m here,” Satine gently rubbed Bo’s back, trying to soothe her younger sister.
When Bo couldn’t cry anymore, she pulled away from Satine and sat down on the nearby rock. She was exhausted and her head began to ache. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried like that. It had to be before she joined Death Watch. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled and watched as her sister took a seat next to her.
The sisters sat in silence for a while before Satine began to speak, “I know you blame yourself for all the suffering our people went through after Maul took over Mandalore. But everything you did from then until now shows that you were trying to save our culture and our people. And now Manadlore belongs to us again. You are the only one who could do this. I couldn’t. The leaders before me couldn’t.”
“This is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I know war. I know how to fight. But being a leader like this...I’m not you. You were the leader.”
“You ARE a leader, my dear sister. And you have the support of people who care about you,” Satine squeezed Bo’s hand reassuringly, “You have your Night Owls back and you have Din Djarin and his son, the foundling.”
“Grogu…he is an apprentice now,” Bo smiled, “I got to admit, the kid has grown on me.”
“But there is someone else, isn’t there?” Satine questioned.
“Yeah, a Jedi…you know her,” Bo smiled softly.
“Ahsoka Tano?”
Bo nodded.
“Oh, Bo! I always thought you and Ahsoka would be good together. For how long?”
“We’ve been together off and on since the Clone Wars. But now we have made our home here together here on Mandalore. She understands me in a way the others don’t. She has been very good at keeping me grounded when I needed it. She is the kindest person I know, and I love her.”
Satine watched as her sister’s eyes lit up, talking about Ahsoka. Her sister deserved to experience this happiness. It had been too long since Satine saw that spark in Bo-Katan’s eyes. “She makes you happy, huh?”
“We make each other happy,” Bo chuckled, “you know Mom must be losing her mind knowing that both of her daughters fell in love with Jedi.”
“Because that’s what us Kryze sisters do,” Satine laughed before standing up. “Bo, it’s almost time. I need to go.”
“No! I’m not ready to say goodbye yet. Can’t we stay just a little longer?” Bo pleaded.
“You used to say the same thing to me when we would play in the caves near our castle on Kalevala. But I really must go. I need to get back and it is almost time for you to wake up. I love you very much, dear sister,” Satine pulled her sister into another hug.
“I’m going to miss you. When can we see each other again? “Bo asked.
“Whenever you need me, I will be there,” Satine said before she disappeared into the air.
---
Bo-Katan stirred from a sound sleep confused; she called out for Satine. But there was no answer. Bo’s heart sank when she realized what had happened. It felt so real.
Next to her, Ahsoka, who was already awake, reached for her, “Bo, are you okay? You were having quite the dream.”
“It was Satine. She came to visit me in my dream,” Bo whispered.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ahsoka asked.
“She told me she loved me and that I didn’t need to hold on to the guilt any longer,” Bo shook her head, “It felt so real.”
“Maybe because it was. Dreams are extensions of reality and connect us to people we’ve lost,” Ahsoka said softly as she reached for her partner.
Bo-Katan was usually not one to believe in much related to the supernatural or the spiritual world, but lately, she has begun to wonder, and tonight might have just been the tipping point. As she thought about Ahsoka’s words, she settled back down into their bed and into Ahsoka’s arms.
“She told me she is happy for us,” Bo said.
“Who? Satine? In your dream?” Ahsoka asked as she placed a gentle kiss on Bo’s shoulder.
“Yeah. I want to believe that the dream was real. She promised she would come back to see me. Do you think she will?” Bo asked. She needed validation, she needed to be able to hold on to something that reconnected her to her sister.
“I think she will,” Ahsoka reassured her, “Are you going to be okay?”
“For the first time in a very long time, I think I will be."