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I will never let you go
The smell of burnt and rotting flesh filled the air around Merlin as he stood staring at the rebel's broken skull. Merlin stared as their brain leaked from the open hole on the side of the skull. His magic had done this, he had done this, Arthur made him do this.
Merlin looked up at the sea of bodies in front of him in the clearing. They stood no chance, the rebels, against the tyrant King Arthur Pendragon, no one could stand against him. Not with his court sorcerer at his side. The hypocrite king, they called him. Made it his life’s mission to take his father's views to the other kingdoms, but he kept a pet, a monster.
Merlin wondered how this all ended up happening. He wondered if it was his fault. Did he turn Arthur into this?
Kneeling in front of his king, Merlin awaited his orders. His face was blank as well as his mind. Arthur’s gift made sure of it. He was as good as a trained hunting dog waiting for orders.
“You are to go to the clearing and ambush them. Use your magic to make sure nobody lives. Man, woman, and child.”
Merlin felt like he should be horrified, yell at Arthur, and demand he be a better king, but he was floating in space. He couldn’t pin down his own thoughts; all that registered were his king's orders.
“Come here.”
Standing at Arthur’s orders, Merlin made his way to the throne as the court watched him. Once he was standing in front of his king, Arthur reached out, taking Merlin’s hand to place a soft kiss on the warlock's fingers.
“My treasure”
Arthur whispered to Merlin, and Merlin felt if he was in control of his own mind, he would’ve flinched.
Absent-mindedly, Merlin reached up and scratched at the collar around his neck, the gift from Arthur. The skin was raw and open from the repeated action. His mind was less foggy, he could form thoughts.
It didn’t happen often, but it was happening more after Merlin used a great deal of power. Merlin lives for these moments of clarity in the dense fog. He could already feel the fog rolling back in, the collar tightening, demanding him to return to his king.
Merlin lifted his foot and rested his boot on what was left of the man’s skull in front of him. Pushing down his weight till the skull cracked and broke apart. With unseeing eyes, Merlin just blinked at what was left. Blank faced, he turned and headed back to Camelot.
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As Merlin walked through the lower town up to the citadel, people rushed away from him. Mothers grabbed their children and pulled them inside. One man tripped over his feet as he scrambled away from Merlin.
He knew what he was. A monster. Everyone knew it, Arthur made sure they knew. The first thing he demanded of Merlin was to skin the knights of the round table in front of everyone.
Arthur and Merlin stood in the shadows of a corridor as the crowd grew outside. Arthur dressed like the king he was, amour and his cape, his crown glittering on top of his head. Merlin had been given new clothes, those befitting his new station. Black tunic and breeches paired with new black leather boots.
Arthur had given them to him as gifts the day after the collar was latched around his neck. “You are by my side and everyone should know you’re mine.” The blonde had said as Merlin held the clothes, staring at them.
Ordering Merlin to put them on, Arthur just watched from his desk. Merlin barely registered that he should feel disgusted under the gaze, but his mind was foggy and all he could do was obey.
The murmuring of the crowd could be heard. Arthur grabbed Merlin by the back of the neck, his fingers brushing the collar. Merlin normally would’ve shivered, but he had been told to stand still and listen.
“You know why I have to do this, don’t you?” Arthur asked, rubbing his thumb up and down Merlin’s neck, speaking in whispers. “They tried to take you away from me. They tried to take what was mine. You are mine, Merlin, to hold, to control, to kill.”
Arthur’s other hand came up to wrap around the front of Merlin’s neck, squeezing it tightly. Merlin didn’t even gasp. He just stood still, blinking at his king. “They found out about my gift. They didn’t like what it did, but you don’t mind. Do you, my treasure?”
Merlin couldn’t speak, he couldn’t answer, and a part of him weakly protested. Arthur’s grip tightened, and Merlin could start to see shadows fade into his vision. “You don’t mind belonging to me, do you? Answer me!” Merlin shook his head as much as he could with the restrictions.
Smiling as if he was pleased, Arthur removed his hand, and Merlin could feel the air rush back into his lungs. Arthur’s previous orders were the only thing that kept him standing. Grabbed Merlin’s arm tightly and drew the warlock into his arm.
“They tried to cut my gift off your neck and sneak you out of the castle. They must be punished. Everyone needs to understand who you belong to. They think I’m some kind of monster, but you are the real monster. Don’t worry, I will always love you, my treasure. That's why I gave you the gift.”
Merlin’s fogged-over brain tried to find fault in the logic and call him out, but Merlin couldn’t even form a full thought. “You are going to go out there and use your magic to skin them inch by inch. I want them to suffer for trying to take what’s mine.”
Merlin felt like he should protest. These were their friends, Arthur’s loyal knights. That had turned on the king after finding out what really happened that night. Poor lovely Gwen, who wanted nothing more than to help save her friend, or Gauis, who wanted to protect the one he called a son.
But they had tried to take Merlin from Arthur, something Arthur saw as treason. Merlin only blinked and nodded at his king's orders. Arthur lifted a finger under Merlin’s chin, tilting up the other man’s face, allowing the blonde to kiss the warlock all teeth and tongue. No gentleness, only possessiveness, and domination.
The bells rang as they brought out the traitors into the courtyard. Pulling back, Arthur smiled at Merlin. It was bright and brilliant. Merlin felt something pull at the back of his mind, that this wasn’t what Arthur should be smiling like that for.
“Let’s give them a show. Come,” Arthur ordered, taking Merlin’s hand and leading him out of the shadows into the bright sun. Standing in a line naked were their friends, the crowd around them silent. “Now” was all Arthur said and Merlin raised his hand, letting his power free, eye glowing gold. As the surrounding crowd, screams echoed those of their friends.
Merlin entered the throne room, Arthur sat at the place of honor as Merlin walked up to him and kneeled. Arthur just tapped his foot and smiled at Merlin. “I take there were no problems or survivors?” Arthur asked the kneeling warlock.
Shaking his head, Merlin didn’t look up at Arthur, something the blonde didn’t like. The king frowned and snapped. “Look at me!” Merlin’s head snapped up as he looked at the other man. Seeming pleased, Arthur relaxed into the throne.
“We have gotten news of another village harboring rebels and druids. We set out for them tomorrow. Now come here, my treasure. I have missed you.” Arthur patted his lap as Merlin stood and made his way over to his king.
Arthur pulled him into his lap and leaned in to breathe in the scent of Merlin. “I can’t wait for tonight,” Arthur whispered in his ear, running his hand up and down Merlin’s thigh and Merlin wonder if he could, would he throw up at the touch.
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Merlin lay spread out on the king's bed as the man moved above him and inside him. The fire and candles cast shadows around the chambers. Merlin moved his limbs at Arthur’s orders. To grip him tight or wrap his legs around him as he trusted hard and unforgiving into Merlin’s body.
The fog that made its home in Merlin’s mind faded in these moments. The pleasure overrides the magic of the collar for a few moments. He hated these moments, the orders from Arthur. Demanding Merlin to tell him that he loved him. Merlin always did, as with every order. Arthur would relax, and his movements became gentler.
A time ago, Merlin would’ve told his king that he held his heart. Now, Merlin, in his moments of clarity, didn’t know if he still loved the man. The pain and destruction the blonde brought with every order made Merlin’s mind scream out in protest. Even with everything Arthur had become that he made Merlin, the warlock was sure he still loved this man.
He likes to believe that it was his own will that moved his limbs as they both sought pleasure. That it was his own words whispered into the other man’s skin as he reached his crest, but it wasn’t. He was under Arthur’s control. It was because of that night, the one night that changed everything.
Uther had passed away, an illness, Gauis had said. It was sudden and quick. Arthur left the king. The pair of them were in Arthur’s new chambers, and Merlin felt like it was the right time to tell Arthur about his magic.
Morgana had run away with the druids after confessing her magic, and Arthur hadn’t made an attempt to chase after her. Arthur had been quiet since his father’s death. Merlin wanted to cheer him up. Something had been happening between them before Uther’s death.
Late nights talking by Arthur’s fire, long hunting trips that ended with skinny-dips in rivers and ponds. They could cut the tension with a knife. After turning down the bed, Merlin made his way over to Arthur, sitting at his desk. Wringing his hands, Merlin cleared his throat.
The prince-turned-king didn’t look up from the grain report of this month. Merlin cleared his throat again, and Arthur just waved Merlin away with a hand. Growling, Merlin slammed his hand on the desk. “Arthur!”
Arthur’s head snapped up, and he frowned. Merlin just rolled his eyes. “I need to talk to you,” Merlin said, shuffling on his feet. Arthur’s frown deepened, and he looked back down at the report. Merlin puffed out his cheeks at Arthur’s reaction.
“Can’t this wait?” The blonde asked, grabbing his quill to make a mark on the paper. Merlin frowned and kicked the desk, causing the ink well to fall over, and drenched Arthur’s breeches. “Merlin! What the fuck?” Arthur cried out, jumping up.
“It’s important.” Merlin said Arthur must have heard something in the warlock's voice, so he just nodded and made a ‘go on with it’ gesture. Smiling and staring into his well-practiced speech.
“I have been wanting to tell you forever now, more so since we got closer, but your father was alive, and I was scared. You can get that, right? I was just scared, but things are different, and you are different from your father, and I have faith in the king you will become.”
Merlin took a deep breath and finished with an, “I have magic. I was born with it. I also might be kinda in love with you.” Merlin looked at Arthur, who had an unreadable look on his face. It was kinda unnerving.
Merlin just stared at Arthur, unsure what to do or even what to say. He didn’t know how to respond with a silent Arthur. Merlin watched the blonde’s face as he seemed to come up with a plan and spoke.
“I love you too”
Merlin let out the breath he had been holding and smiled at the blonde. “Really?” He asked, wanting to make sure that Arthur wasn’t just saying that to spare his feelings. “And my magic?”
Arthur smiled softly and walked to Merlin, reaching for Merlin’s hand and linking their fingers. Arthur nodded. “Really, really. I don’t care if you have magic, you are mine.” Merlin grinned so hard he felt as if his face would split. Arthur pulled Merlin into his arms and pressed a kiss to the warlock's lips.
Merlin melted into Arthur and kissed him back. The kiss went from shy to heated fast. Arthur walked Merlin to the bed, pushing him onto it. They removed clothing till they were bare and could press together. Merlin spent the night lost in passion and love.
Merlin woke up to a scream, only to realize it was coming from him as someone locked something around his neck. He felt his magic that had once been bright and free become dull and trapped beyond his control.
Opening his eyes, he looked at a cold-faced Arthur. How could Arthur do this to him? He could feel a fog start to enter his mind, chanting for him to obey. What was going on? He could barely breathe or stop screaming as his neck burned. Arthur pulled him into his arms and rocked him back and forth, making shushing noises.
Once Merlin stopped screaming and the fog had fully taken hold of his mind, did Arthur speak. “This was the only way I could keep you. Magic is evil. You would’ve been corrupted, but I can’t have that. You need to be always with me. You are my monster, but also my treasure. You will help me unite all the kingdom, and we will burn magic to the ground. I will protect you always. You are mine.”
A part of Merlin's mind wondered if he had control of his body and mind. Would he cry?
Arthur gave one last thrust into Merlin’s body as he stilled and emptied his spend into Merlin. Pulling out and flopping on his side, Arthur pulled Merlin into his arms and kissed his sweaty hair.
“You are gonna be so great tomorrow,” Arthur murmured into Merlin’s hair before drifting off to sleep. Merlin lay there spend leaking out of his body, staring at the canopy for the rest of the night as Arthur hadn’t ordered him to sleep.
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They stopped on the hill above the village. Loyal knights are thirsty for blood and are more like mercenaries than actual knights. Sat on their horses behind their king and court sorcerer. As both looked down from their horses at the people walking around the village.
“You are to use magic to start a fire around the village, cutting off escapes as we destroy every last one of them. Then join to finish them all off.” Arthur commanded Merlin as the warlock tried to fight the fog in his mind. He couldn’t be sure, but it seemed to be lessening. Arthur grabbed hold of his horse and ordered Merlin with a “Now!” Then he took off down the hill, the knights following him.
Merlin just raised his hand and muttered a spell, causing a fire to light around the village. Merlin could hear screams as he made his way down the hill. Getting off his horse, he walked through the wall of fire he created.
Villages ran for their lives as the king and his knight used their swords to draw blood. A few rebels had grabbed their own swords and slashed back at the attacking knights. Merlin could feel the fog start to fade as he stood there. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a rebel sneaking up on Arthur, who had gotten off his horse and was cutting into a druid woman who was screaming with a grin on his face.
Merlin raised his hand, eyes flashing gold as the man's neck snapped and collapsed behind Arthur. The king turned to look at the rebel and back at Merlin with a brilliant smile. Merlin answered with his own, and he saw Arthur frown. Merlin felt himself panic. Did he really do something without an order?
There was a scream of a child, and Merlin turned to look to see a child of five summers trying to outrun the closing-in fire. Before he could even think, Merlin reached out and stopped the fire from reaching the girl. His neck was feeling hot, and he could hear the collar cracking.
Merlin felt more in control of his mind and magic than he had for years. Raising his hands into the air, he called on rain. The sky opened up as water came slashing down. Merlin smiled as he did magic for the first time in years without a command. Merlin closed his eyes and let the rain fall on him.
A hand reached out and grabbed his shoulder, and he was turned to face a livid Arthur. “What do you think you’re doing?!” He all but screamed at him, but Merlin was starting to feel free for the first time in forever. “Stop the rain!”
The fire was starting to sizzle out and everyone was watching them as Merlin just laughed and made it rain harder. Arthur was shaking him and screaming out orders. Merlin just looked at Arthur’s distraught face and smiled. The warlock started to chant; the rain coming down harder, lightning flashing in the sky.
With a blinding flash and shockwave, Merlin’s collar opened and fell to the ground. Everyone stared at it with shock, and Arthur stood frozen, looking like it. Merlin raised his hand and Arthur flinched, but with a snap of his fingers, all the remaining knights exploded into pieces. The villages covered in blood and guts screamed.
Merlin felt free. He could breathe, there was no fog in his mind. He let out a loud laugh to feel the movement in his throat. The villagers started to run, fire no longer breaking their escape routes. Arthur collapsed to his knees, muttering.
“What do I do? How do I keep you? You’re mine! Even magic can’t have you.” Merlin watched this pathetic man, his king, his lover, his everything. Kneeling down next to Arthur, Merlin grabbed the collar laying between them.
He reached up and wrapped it around Arthur's neck. Who seemed too in shock to react. As Merlin locked the collar around Arthur’s neck, he leaned forward and whispered against the king's lips. “Don’t worry. We will fix everything you have done, my treasure.” Merlin sealed the promise with a kiss.