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Kim Dokja doesn't want to open the classroom door. He knows it'll be worse. Why wouldn’t it? Rumor must've caught on, the open window and ambulance noises that tend to the lifeless body which hit the pavement.
Now, Dokja has to live with the humiliation at knowing he failed and the fact almost everyone knows as well. Dokja despises those reporters, with their prying cameras and lies that spill without knowing the truth.
Kim Dokja breaths in as he slowly slips in, expecting harsh whispers and pointed stares.
Instead, Kim Dokja is met with silence.
The eyes of his classmates immediately glance at him, just as always. There's less than twenty people here. Most of the students assigned to this class requested a leave after figuring out they'd be in the same area as 'the murderer’s son'. Dokja forces himself to stay calm. He's used to this.
(For some reason, the way their gazes dig into him feel different.)
He settles into his desk, barely able to withstand the nervous beads of sweat at the unnatural silence in the classroom. When was the teacher going to arrive? Kim Dokja tries to make himself small as the whispers start up, his name being spread as quick as water spilling.
"You. Kim Dokja, right?"
Kim Dokja's heart stutters as he looks up, subconsciously nodding at the sudden question. Hae Yun reads on the collar of her uniform, short dark hair and black rimmed glasses that he recognizes from a few interactions before. Dokja tentatively peeks behind her, seeing as the whole class is now focused on the both of them, chatter coming to a stop.
He flinches when her mouth begins to open. Dokja awaits Hae Yun to make fun of him, waits for painful words that will stay in his mind for days.
"You are so much more adorable than I thought." Hae Yun squeals, brown eyes sparkling under her glasses.
Kim Dokja thinks he heard her wrong, face turning red. Maybe this was a prank, a prank to embarrass him and lead him into a false sense of security by calling him adorable. He waits a few seconds for Hae Yun to let up the act.
She doesn't
Dokja watches with wide eyes as Hae Yun is yanked to the side, another face popping up in front of him, "Don't hog Kim Dokja to yourself!"
Those actions create a tidal wave because now Dokja has his classmates crowding around his desk, the mellow atmosphere from before completely forgotten.
He can't even focus on the questions and voices rambling over each other because all Kim Dokja can do is question what exactly is happening and why some people are calling him the Oldest Dream instead of Dokja.
Dokja stares at the bottle of yakult on his desk. He still has no idea why or how the events occurred yesterday. Everyone must be on an inside joke, because Kim Dokja found himself being gushed about and given a weird amount of affection from his classmates which he could only respond with a gaping mouth and embarrassed murmurs.
There's obviously something wrong with his classmates. The person who left this bottle on his desk, Dokja's pretty sure his name is Yeong Eun. He's one of the few people who called him the Oldest Dream before Park Jihoon intervened and whispered something about a different timeline.
Kim Dokja still doesn't know who this Oldest Dream person is, but it sounds like something out of Ways to Survive.
Things seem much quieter this time around, with only the occasional glance and confusing sentence being sent his way. Yesterday must've been a one time and Kim Dokja pushes back the small amount of sadness at the thought of the unnatural yet pleasing friendliness disappearing.
He's better off alone.
(That's a lie.)
Dokja carefully inspects the bottle of yakult, ignoring the way the addicting scent wafts in his nose as he checks for anything astray. It's clean but Kim Dokja doesn't trust drinking anything given to him
But the way the drink swirls in an appetizing way makes his taste buds ache for it so Dokja puts his hunger first and goes for it.
It's been a while since he's drunk yakult, and the flavor pleasantly fills his tongue. It's soothing and refreshing, which makes the nerves calm from his body. Sweet, borderline sour.
Dokja absentmindedly sips, raising his head up at the sight of Choi Young standing up from her seat. Her ponytail swishes as she makes a salute, which is so unbelievably weird that Kim Dokja almost stops gulping the beverage in his hand.
Suddenly, Choi Young yells, "Who wants to join the Kim Dokja protection squad?"
Kim Dokja chokes on his yakult. He coughs, both from the liquid in his throat and the sight of his classmates immediately raising their hands up.
Hae Yun announces, "I'll be the vice president."
"Great." Choi Young smiles, "I'll register this as a school club."
Kim Dokja really hopes she's lying about that.
Two hours later he sees an official sign up sheet taped onto the board with the title Kim Dokja Protection Squad and the names of all his classmates filled in.
Kim Dokja gets ready to walk home. He's slow, one foot in front of another as the school building begins to get smaller and smaller behind him. Normally on days like this, Song Minwoo and his lackeys would find Dokja and beat him up if he doesn't leave quick enough.
Dokja isn't sure why, but Song Minwoo seems to be avoiding him. He does note the bruise on Minwoo's cheek and the sight of the two people sitting next to him, Nari Kyung and Seo Woo whispering about operation silver to wolf being completed.
He doesn't piece together the facts, because Dokja hears the sound of footsteps trailing next to him. Kim Dokja stops.
"Joon-ssi?" He asks, "Why are you here?"
Kim Dokja's pretty sure that Dong Joon's in tennis club, yet another one of the students in his class. What he's not sure is why Dong Joon is walking with him, because the past year he's seen the other take a different route and where Kim Dokja is going, it's definitely not going to lead to Dong Joon's house.
"Didn't Hae Yun tell you? The Kim Dokja Protection Squad issued an order that everyday a member walks home with you." Dong Joon answers like Kim Dokja's supposed to know this already.
Kim Dokja almost forgot about the club. Shouldn't it be against school rules to form it?
"Um, I'm grateful for the offer." Dokja replies, "But really, I can go home by myself."
And…Dong Joon is already ahead of him.
Kim Dokja squeaks as he catches up, telling himself that he'll resolve this tag-along situation tomorrow.
The next day, a girl named Sang Hwan skips next to him after school.
"You degenerate." Ji Byaek hisses, her fist slamming onto the desk with a thump, "Hankim?"
Hye Won snorts, "They obviously have better chemistry. Remember how he talked about her eyelashes?"
"The literal plot is about him surviving thanks to him. Hankim doesn't compare to Joongdok." Bin Cheol adds, stepping next to Ji Byaek. The groups are split evenly, toe to toe and glaring at each other with a ferocity mirroring a soldier in war.
Nari Kyung deflects it, baring her teeth, "No, he survived thanks to the writer."
"Did the part of them being life and death companions escape all of you? Joongdok is the most popular ship for a reason!" Hae Yun interjects and the side on the left nods.
It spurs a multitude of counter attacks from the right, and the sound of arguing is the only thing that anyone can hear in the classroom. Choi Young and Seo Woo sigh in the corner, rolling their eyes at the useless debacle.
"Yoohankim is the correct answer." Choi Young hums and Seo Woo tilts his head in agreement.
Kim Dokja, who's been watching the whole thing with a stunned face after walking into class first thing in the morning turns towards the only person that's not included in this bizarre classroom fight.
"Do you know what Joongdok means?" Dokja whispers, unable to stop the curiosity. Unknown terms were being thrown around like crazy, from Plotja to Doksang until the words Hankim and Joongdok appeared and everyone started to seriously fight.
Dae Hyeon pats his shoulder, "You'll understand when you're older."
Kim Dokja doesn't say that they're both the same age.
The cafeteria is filled to the brim with students, laughs and students lazing around while cutting into the lunch line. Kim Dokja would usually be sitting alone on the rooftop while eating, but he can't bring himself to do so.
It reminds him. Reminds Dokja too much of his body falling and his weight rushing through wind.
"Kim Dokja, try this." Ji Byaek insists, a spoon with food in her hand and near Dokja's mouth. At his sides are his classmates, the table almost at the point of overcrowding. One moment he was eating alone and the next thing he knows, there are people talking beside him.
Kim Dokja's face flushes at Ji Byaek offering him a bite. He could eat himself, he had perfectly good hands. The spoon pushes closer near his lips and Dokja sucks in a breath.
He almost pushes her hand away, getting ready to mumble an apology before Dokja notices what's in her spoon.
Omurice.
It's the most delicious piece of omurice hes ever seen, the egg and rice a perfect mix and cooked exactly the way he likes it.
Before Kim Dokja knows it, he leans forward and eats it.
He regrets it immediately after the taste of his favorite food dissolves in his mouth, almost hunching in on himself at the oggles now placed on him. He was just fed like a little kid.
"No fair, I want to spoon feed him too." Bin Cheol whines, hurrying to scoop a piece of his own and then Kim Dokja has multiple people attempting to feed him. Various foods that make his mouth water but the disconcerting heat in his neck stops Dokja from trying again.
"I can feed myself, I really don't need all this." Kim Dokja protests, trying to back away from the various amount of food being given to him.
Byung Ho, with a strength that surpasses Dokja's by miles, moves his spoon closer, "Nonsense. Here, have some Ojingeo."
He's too late to avoid it, the savory taste of squid soon on his tongue. Kim Dokja has no choice but to chew, the appetizing and savory palate of squid slathered in light sauce.
"Did you just say Ojingeo?" Dong Joon stills, watching Kim Dokja chew in horror, "That's a squid dish."
Everyone stops. Then, chaos. The rest of the lunchroom is taken aback by the hysteria, but it's forgotten amongst the Kim Dokja Protection Squad.
"Kim Dokja, stop eating that!"
"I think I'm going to throw up."
"My eyes can't look at this, I'm witnessing a crime."
"C–cannibalism." The girl across the table gasps, and then her eyes roll up and there's a thump as she faints. Kim Dokja ceases mid chew, a shocked heave at the sight of someone losing consciousness. The sight of him eating squid did this!? Why is everyone making a fuss out of him eating Ojingeo?
Park Jihoon shakes her, "Joo Duri, get a hold of yourself!"
When lunch is over, they make Kim Dokja promise to never eat squid again.
Dokja's been getting too used to the kindness. Getting too used to the snacks that are being placed on his desk and reminding him to eat, used to the feeling of someone walking beside him and the hugs and smiles given to him everyday.
Kim Dokja forgets.
It's a morning when it happens, the air of Seoul cascading above him and a feeling bubbling inside of him when he approaches the school. These days, it's been nice. Nice to not worry about his relatives, his former bullies and deprecating words. Kim Dokja absentmindedly pulls his phone out, scrolling through the latest chapter of Ways to Survive.
A notification pops on his phone, one from a group chat named KDJPS, which Dokja is pretty sure stands for Kim Dokja Protection Squad. Sang Hwan had asked for his number, and the next day he's in a group chat with all of his colleagues. It's a mystery why sending pictures of a subway in the chat is banned, but Dokja's getting used to this peculiar actions his peers perform.
Kim Dokja smiles as he sees the view count of the chapters more than just two. His classmates looked into his suggestion about reading his dear novel, and Dokja's giddy about how he can freely discuss this web novel with others like he couldn’t before.
Hae Yun declared herself an expert in writing and promised to co-write a twsa fanfiction with him.
Just before he can do another reread, a camera juts infront of his face. Kim Dokja instinctively steps back, covering his face and his phone slipping back into his pocket.
"Could you answer a few questions for me?"
A reporter.
Kim Dokja shakes his head, trying to get out of the camera frame. He thought he'd managed to ditch most of them, his refusal making attempts slowly fade until he couldn't see any of them outside the house.
The man ignores his growing panic, instead bombarding him with questions. "Why are you keeping silent about your mother?"
He can't move, his legs frozen and stuck to the ground like glues being spread on his heels.
"How do you feel about the book Lee Sookyung published?" The reporter continues, and Dokja's eyes blur at the mention of her name. He didn't want to be pestered about this any further. Move , Kim Dokja tells himself. Dokja's body refuses to do so and he bites his lip.
"Your mother murdered..."
The blunt statement aches, salt pouring on an open wound and Kim Dokja almost cries.
Beneath his feet, the ground begins to spin beneath him. Memories of the hospital bed, memories of his relatives screaming at him and most of all, the will to give up.
"What about your father's—"
Kim Dokja sees the very moment that Choi Young appears. He also sees the very moment that her leg swiftly kicks up, landing directly between the reporter's leg.
The man doubles over with a pained cry, camera falling out of his grasp. Dokja barely has time to register Choi Young grabbing his wrist and running with him messily trailing behind her. His breath becomes scarce as Choi Young drags him into the classroom, until they finally stop while panting.
"Young-ssi, you look like you've been put through the wringer." Yeong Eun snorts and a noise of agreement rings throughout the area.
"Oh, shut up." Choi Young scowls, wiping the sweat accumulating on her forehead, "Can't you guys see Kim Dokja's crying?"
Silence.
Kim Dokja stares at the floor to avoid the multiple gazes, only now aware of the tears that are spilling across his cheeks. His body is somewhat trembling and Kim Dokja hears the soft sniffing noises that are coming from him. He's crying. Kim Dokja can't bring himself to stop the tears, not even in front of all these people.
"Kim Dokja." Choi Young says, gentle and it doesn't startle him, "Can we hug you? If you feel comfortable doing so."
Dokja glances at everyone through his tears. He's not met with pity, disgust or annoyance. But rather, it's worry. They're worried for Kim Dokja, worried and he thinks they hold so much affection for him that it's breathtaking.
"Please." He whispers, and shortly he receives Choi Young pulling him into a warm hug. It's been a while since he's had someone hug him. It's nice. One by one, Kim Dokja gets hugged by his classmates. Some are soft, some ruffle his hair and some are crying too.
By the time everyone's done, the tears are gone.
Two people walk home with Kim Dokja the following day. The incident from before must've made the KDJPS order another person to go home with him. Dokja would find it tiring another day, but his instincts say safe .
"You're insane! Kim Namwoon would definitely be able to beat Lee Hyunsung." Ha Suk hisses.
"It looks like you're putting too much faith into that psycho. Hyunsung has so much more experience than Namwoon." Joo Duri retorts, and Kim Dokja's glad to know she's been doing much better since the squid incident.
The two girls have been going at this for ten minutes, with Kim Dokja quietly agreeing and disagreeing with some points being made. Dokja scans the pages of the notebook in his hands, opened to Kim Namwoon and Lee Hyunsung.
"Kim Dokja, tell her which one is better." Ha Suk saying his name forces him to be pulled into the conversation.
They look at him expectantly.
Dokja holds out his prized notebook, not expecting Ha Suk to cleanly grab it out of his hands. Kim Dokja nervously rambles as she flips through it, "It has a list of some of the attributes and skills for them. It's—um, kind of long and boring so I understand if you wouldn't want to read it."
Ha Suk glides over the pages, excitement visible in her voice, "No way. Is this the legendary notebook that was mentioned? Haha, look at all this character info. Suck it Duri-yah!"
"Let me see that." Joo Duri looks over Suk's shoulder, both of them squabbling over the notebook, "Woah. All of this info is alphabetized and listed from weakest to strongest?"
"Those are just a few calculations I made while studying characters." Kim Dokja's face heats up at the sight of them looking at him with awe. Deep inside, it's pleasant to be appreciated for his work.
Joo Duri squeals, fingers tracing over the pages writing, "Well, it's absolutely amazing. Dokja, you're a genius!"
"I agree." Ha Suk nods, eyes twinkling when she comes across Kim Namwoons page.
"That has to be an exaggeration." He sputters, a flare of pride welling within him. Dokja's never been called a genius before and he's never been praised for doing something. Well, not before the KDJPS was started. They keep giving him compliments and physical affection which has his heart thump with each snack and gift being piled into his hands.
The rest of the walk is focused on Kim Dokja's notebook, the argument from before deserted.
As soon as the teacher leaves to the teachers lounge, Hae Yun walks to the front of the classroom. She whips out a microphone, and Dokja doesn't have a single clue on where it came from. For some reason, it's not the weirdest thing that's happened inside this classroom.
"Today, I've prepared a quiz to test the knowledge here of ORV. Winner gets about twenty dollars in won." Hae Yun announces, and Dokja squints at the acronym. Everyone else seems to know what it means, no questions arising except from him, "First question. What food does Kim Dokja hate?"
"Tomatoes! Kim Dokja hates tomatoes!" Seo Woo calls and Hae Yun sends him a thumbs up.
"That's right. One point for Seo Woo."
What .
Kim Dokja's eyes grow as wide as saucers as his classmates answer the following questions with an eerie accuracy. Every question is about Kim Dokja. So that explains why he can't finish a plate of tomato kimchi. Dokja always thought that he just didn't have a liking towards kimchi, but the idea he doesn't like tomatoes becomes more plausible than that.
How is it possible they know Kim Dokja better than he does himself? Some of these questions he doesn't even know himself.
"What does Kim Dokja whisper under his breath when he thinks no one can hear him?"
Park Minjae and Jung Suyeon both start to reply but Dong Joon's the one who answers, "It's 'I am Yoo Joonghyuk'!"
That's taken out of context, he doesn't say it often! How do people manage to hear him say that in the first place, Dokja can't even hear him say it himself! Kim Dokja wants to flee, "Hey, wait a second. This is a bit—"
"Correct. Next question! What's Kim Dokja's guilty pleasure?"
"Easy." Lee Taehyun smirks, "Qipaos and garter belts."
Kim Dokja's mortified. He's even more mortified when no one disagrees or defends his dignity. His face is red as he pleads, "Guys, can we please stop with the personal questions?"
Hae Yun glances at him, pondering his plea for a moment before answering, "I guess we can go another route."
Kim Dokja sighs in relief.
"Why does Kim Dokja count as a squid?"
He sinks into his seat with a groan.
After yesterday's quiz of embarrassing Kim Dokja, he fixes for one regular day in this classroom. The school should really hire a better teacher, considering how Dokja barely sees this class actually being taught. But if he thinks about it, most of his peers still get straight A's on exams.
A math problem is written on the board, white chalk scribbling a few numbers.
"What we have left is fifty one." His teacher writes the number down, circling the number from the practice problem.
When he sees some of his colleagues sniffle, he's taken aback. Kim Dokja refutes his words; this is not going to be a normal day.
"Fifty one." Lee Taehyun quietly wails, forehead slamming onto the desk followed by more people doing so. Kim Dokja's astonished. People are upset about numbers. His eyebrows furrow, because huh ?
The teacher doesn't notice, continuing with the problem despite the crying starting.
"That leaves forty nine for the next equation."
The rest of the class breaks, and after, all Kim Dokja hears is the sound of people crying over numbers. The poor teacher both flails and fails to prevent a whole class of teenagers to stop sobbing.
All except for Kim Dokja, who's utterly in the dark about this and the only one not crying his eyes out.
After class, everybody appears to cling to him more.
Kim Dokja's going to his very first sleepover. He's seen them in movies, although he's never been to one himself. The group chat sent out a text, information with an address and saying to arrive at Dae Hyeon's house at eight p.m. In Kim Dokja's backpack is a spare set of pajama clothes along with a toothbrush he'd bought from a convenience store. His relatives don't drop him off, one thing that hasn't changed in the past months. Luckily, Dae Hyeon's house is close, so it's a quick walk.
Dae Hyeon's house is huge, maybe almost the size of a mansion.
Kim Dokja almost knocks when he sees the doors already open. The door makes a clicking noise behind him when he goes inside.
Bin Cheol's the first person to greet him.
Cheol twists his head, running back to the other room, and Dokja notices the sounds from what he thinks is coming from the kitchen, "Kim Dokja is finally here!"
Out come Yeong Eun, Hye Won, and Byung Ho covered in flour.
"All of us are making cookies in the kitchen." Byung Ho explains, dusting off the flour on his hands. He points his index finger far off from where the chatter and clangs are coming from.
Hye Won chews on something while she talks. It looks suspiciously like cookie dough, "It's dairy free chocolate. Y'know, lactose intolerance."
Yeong Eun grabs Dokja's wrist, leading him into the kitchen, "You can help Sang Hwan and Joo Duri measure."
"Lee Taehyun, you idiot! That's salt, not sugar—"
"Will you stop sloshing the mix everywhere Park Minjae!?"
"Oh my god, Jung Suyeon. You set it to the wrong temperature."
Ten o' clock and a ton of cookie attempts later, the class is buried under mounds of blankets and pillows upstairs. Kim Dokja grabs a cookie from the platter, chewing while the movie plays in front of him. Dong Joon picked out a horror movie.
"Holy fuck, shield me Ha Suk." Seo Woo screams at the jumpscare, and Ji Byaek dives beneath the blankets in terror. Kim Dokja continues to chew on his cookie while everyone squawks and covers their view at the gore on screen.
"How are you two not terrified!?" Choi Young quivers while holding onto an equally trembling Nari Kyung. Park Jihoon hides by blocking their view with a pillow.
Hae Yun is sitting next to Kim Dokja without breaking a sweat, "The question is how are you guys scared of this?"
"Mhm." Kim Dokja bemusedly agrees.
Another jumpscare and shrill shrieking proceeds.
Minutes pass until twelve, and slowly everyone drifts asleep before Kim Dokja's the only one awake. Dae Hyeon amongst others snore loudly and his classmates are sprawled across blankets while the movie plays quietly.
Kim Dokja watches them, and with them peacefully sleeping it finally comes aware how much he cares about his peers. They made his life better, make his life better. Dokja can't remember being alone like at the start of the year. He still doesn't know what made them change from silently ignoring him to showering him with love he didn't know could be possible.
The warmth from physical affection, the kindness of people worrying for you, unconditional gifts given without expected payment. The jokes that can make Kim Dokja laugh and bizarreness he's come to love and look forward to everyday.
Kim Dokja looks at his friends, his family, his readers who care for him so dearly, and smiles.
(This story is just for that one reader.)
"Hey, Choi Young."
"What's up, Yun-ssi?"
"Do you think we've successfully stopped the apocalypse?"
"...Fuck, I forgot about that. What the hell are we going to do!?"
"Actually, I think I have an idea."
Han Sooyoung eyes the package on her bed, peeking at the contents. It's small, and her name is signed on it. The box is undoubtedly meant for her, and Sooyoung sucks on the last lemon lollipop she has left.
Who would send an anonymous package to a thirteen year old girl? How'd they even find her address? Han Sooyoung grasps the only item that's inside of it. It's a note card with the address of what looks to be a high school neatly written on it.
Visit this school and we'll send you a free supply of lemon lollipops.
~The KDJPS.
Sooyoung weighs her options. Visit a random school or call the authorities. She glances between the note and the empty package of candy on her desk.
Han Sooyoung makes up her mind.
After all, who would say no to free candy?