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This was not supposed to happen. 

This was definitely not supposed to happen. 

Everything was going well until then. In the midst of training, Tomioka had received word from his crow (it was mostly Tomioka trying to understand what his old crow was trying to convey) that an urgent mission had risen in a nearby village. It was reported that the demon was using his blood art to bind his victims into a hypnosis-like contract, further pushing them into committing crimes on his behest, mostly to appease the demon's appetite. So far, twenty-seven deaths were confirmed, nine adults and six children were missing, and twelve molestation cases were reported. 

Being the only slayer to be free, Tomioka was handed over the assignment. By the time it took him to leave his estate and reach the village, it was already nightfall. The moon hung high in the sky, menacing yet serene. On a peaceful and calm night, he would have stopped for a moment and admired the moon for its beauty and brightness, but that night, he had already begun to sense demon activity, not far from where he was. Wary of the activities going on at night, no one was brave enough to roam the streets at this time. Thus naturally, that movement Tomioka sensed could only belong to that of a demon (and his puppets, he supposed). 

He walked calmly, easing his breathing and heartbeats, hand already resting on the hilt of his katana. He was in no hurry, for he knew that this job would not take much longer. Although Tomioka believed that he was not worthy of bearing the title of the Water Pillar, he unquestionably knew that he was strong enough to finish this job in record time. Stopping in front of a large, luxurious mansion, Tomioka raised his arm to knock when the thick scent of blood washed over him. He wasted no time in wrenching the door open. Unsurprisingly enough, there was no one inside, rather, there was no one that he could see, but he knew something lurked around, for he felt something. 

Stepping forth into the mansion, the floor rippled beneath his feet and he was immediately transferred to another dimension. No, not dimension, he noted. The area was the exact same, he felt it. It was rather as if it was shrouded in a dark scentless smoke, and from it crawled out countless grey-ish, rotting arms. Tomioka jumped into a corner when a hand almost got hold of his ankle. So far, the demon had yet to make an appearance. Is it shy? Tomioka wondered. Alongside the arms came their heads, torsos and legs. Tomioka cringed at the foul smell permeating through the smoke, watching the stringless puppets make way to him, limping and groaning. He watched their faces, wondering if they were somebody's father, mother, husband, wife, brother, sister… They were already gone now. 

He pulled out his katana and breathed out, “Water breathing, third form: Flowing Dance.” Tomioka swung his katana, bending his glinting blade in a winding motion along with his entire body, willing his strength into a flowing dance, slicing everything in his path. With each strike came a guttural screech, as if offended by the display. As he landed on his feet, the smoke rippled ever so gently, and another dozen arms crawled out. Tomioka sighed out his mouth and struck them again, not giving any of them the time to even breathe out a groan. After his second attack, nothing crawled out. The smoke wiggled all around him and pulled out from under him to gather in the middle of the room. The smoke formed a heap of black, before merging into one being, ultimately being the demon. He was not ugly by any measure. He had yellow bright eyes, pupils lined into a thin slit of black. Tomioka noted the whiskers twitching on his cheeks and thought nothing of it. 

How predictable, Tomioka thought with stoicism. The demon grinned wildly at him and opened his mouth to breath out some bullshit that Tomioka was not interested in the least bit. “Water breathing, eleventh form: Dead Calm.” The area turned desolate and naked around them, shutting the demon up before he even had the time to speak. Tomioka moved forward and in half a beat of a heart, he struck forward with all his strength and slashed the demon's head off, clean and silent, just how he liked it. In favour of his looks and personality, Tomioka found that he much preferred simple and painless jobs. He would rather have a much more suitable water pillar for the burdensome jobs. He deemed himself unworthy anyways. 

“Ah, ah…” The demon whimpered pathetically, strucking a weak hand towards Tomioka. The rest of his body had already begun to fade away into nothing. Yet, his eyes hardened and he moved his lips, mumbling something, “Blood Demon Art-!” He faded away. Tomioka stood silently in the room, waiting for anything else to happen, but nothing actually did. He shook his blade off and elegantly sheathed it back. He turned his back, haori swishing behind him arrogantly.

It was still night when he came out of the mansion. As expected, he had not taken much time into dealing with the demon. Still, it was strange with how easy it was. He made his way out when he was intercepted by his crow. He relayed the success of his mission to his companion and prayed to every deity out there that it would be able to reach the Master with no issues. Not wanting to waste any more time in the village, he made his way home quickly. It was a relatively calm night, with the exception of the incessant noises the crickets were making and the occasional croak of frogs. 

Feeling slightly hungry, he took out a rice ball from his stash attached to his waist and was about to take a bite when a sudden pain exploded behind his eyelids. The rice ball dropped painfully onto the dirt while Tomioka clutched his head and panted, feeling a strange surge of heat crawl across his chest, neck and face. He dropped onto a knee, still holding his head with a hand and with the other, he fisted dirt and small rocks. 

“What…” He panted out, shaking his head at the black dots obscuring his view. He promptly passed out, losing strength to fight against that acute ache. 

~~~~~

When he woke up, he realised he was still where he had fainted. The familiar trees and dirt road were evidence to that. He shook his head, and looked around, wincing when his vision burned at the sight of the brightly sizzling sun. He opened his mouth to clear his throat but instead of a gargle came a mewl. 

A what now? 

Hello? “Meow?” 

What the fuck. 

He brought his hands (paws, he would later call them) to his face and almost popped his own eyes out when he saw not human hands but paws, actual cat paws. He quickly got up on his legs and did a sharp circle of confirmation and yes, he was definitely a fucking cat. He had black fur, a thick, fluffy tail swishing anxiously (and excitedly) behind him, and fucking paws. 

What the actual fuck.

Tomioka sat down on his haunches and brought his hand (paw) to his face, observing the alien part of him. It was genuinely as an act of exasperation and utter defeat, but as his hand (paw) approached his small mouth, he licked at it. It was more as a reflex, a primal urge, than the actual need of it. Still, he thought, he didn't particularly like the feeling of fur on his, now, rough tongue. He halted almost immediately, grumbling in displeasure. Just because he was a cat, he was not about to behave like one. He set his hand (it's paw, really) back firmly onto the ground and exhaled inwardly. How was he supposed to explain this to the Master? He could not even speak or write properly (all thanks to his fucking paws) and had not even noticed Kanzaburo around. 

Utterly defeated and mentally exhausted, he dropped his body onto his haori and closed his eyes for an instant, unwillingly yawning. And again, it was more of a reflex to yawn. He was not particularly sleepy, but being a cat had its vices. Nonetheless, he relaxed his body and lounged lazily into sun, absorbing the gentle warmth that it emitted. He could only hope that a fellow kakushi, or even another demon slayer (he would much prefer for it to be Rengoku or, begrudgingly, Shinobu, but he could not afford to be picky at a time like this) to pass by so he could, at the very least, latch onto them. 

He had only begun to doze off when an ear-splitting shriek rang out from the village he came from. His ears pulled back in high alert, and his fur tensed menacingly, Tomioka ran as fast as those fucking paws could go towards the center of the village. He had not sensed any demonic activity since he eliminated the other one and it was broad daylight, so the likelihood of it being a demon was low. Still, even though he was currently a fucking cat, Tomioka was through and through a demon slayer. It was his duty to check out any suspicious activities, which could very well relate to a demon. 

He searched and searched for the 'victim' when another shriek sounded out. He sprinted towards the noise, jumping from house to house and finally reached a small lake where a group of children was gathered. He approached the unassuming group, wary and tentative, when the clear water rippled all of a sudden, and what came out of it was enough to send Tomioka into a cardiac arrest had he still been human. His eyes almost bulged out of their sockets when a wet, and decidedly, shivering Shinazugawa came out of the water. His silver hair was pushed back and strands of wet hair clung onto his sun-kissed skin, pink scars glistened under its blinding, alluring rays, and his usually aggressive eyes were brimming with clarity and gentleness. His rough hands held an intricately drawn vase, bright colours splashing and intertwining into shapes and forms that Tomioka could not decipher. Still, he thought, that was breathtakingly beautiful. Whether he was talking about Shinazugawa or the vase, could only be known by himself.

His cat eyes hypnotically tracked down a bead of clear, fresh water. It dropped down from his lashes, gliding down his cheek to the corner of his mouth, before sliding down his chin to finally pool at his collarbone. Tomioka almost dunked himself into the lake to stop his thoughts from wandering off. He watched as the typically angry man swam ashore, holding the vase as if it was the most precious belonging he could ever hold. He gently placed it next to a weeping girl and she silently hugged the vase. The other children roared victoriously, laughing and running around the little girl. Shinazugawa sat down in front of her and ruffled her hair. She looked up at him with red eyes and a snotty face, and threw her arms around his waist, sobbing noisily into his chest. 

Tomioka almost thought that his fellow co-worker would push the little girl away, or even cringe at the thought of dirtying his clothes, so imagine his surprise, when Shinazugawa merely smiled and wrapped his arms around the little girl, careful and gentle in holding her. He had such a beatific smile that it made Tomioka feel weird in his chest. His oh so gentle eyes creased and his lips quirked up slightly, very much unlike his usual mocking or feral grin. He watched as he gently rubbed up and down her back in a soothing manner.

'He never smiled at me, or any other like this', was Tomioka's sole thought. 

She eventually calmed down, sobs reduced down to sniffles. She pulled away and rubbed roughly at her eyes and nose, when the older man lovingly pulled her arms away and wiped the corner of her eyes. He cupped her face and squished her cheeks until she began to giggle. The other kids gathered around them and threw themselves at his back, some laughing and some screeching joyfully. 

“Don't you brats owe her something?” He asked gruffly. The other kids appeared to be hesitant and shameful, but under the non-judging eyes of Shinazugawa, they relented and knelt down next to the girl and pinched their ears regretfully. 

“We're genuinely really sorry, Minami! We promise to never do that again. Please, continue to play with us!” They all chorused. Minami, the little girl, appeared to be thoughtful and apprehensive for a little while before she burst into a wide grin, cheeks colouring, and finally nodded. The children looked at each other before pushing another deafening scream. They pulled her up and twirled her around, careful not to knock her vase. 

Shinazugawa watched on with a little smile and reached for his bag, “Come here, kids, I have something for you all.” He prodded around in his bag and took out a dozen little bags. They all waited patiently as he handed them out to the children one by one. 

“Sanemi-chan, did you make ohagi again?” A boy, no older than ten, asked with glittering eyes. Shinazugawa snickered and shook his head. 

“Sadly no. How about you guys guess? And if you get it right, you get an extra bag.” Tomioka watched bemused as the kids encircled the gruff man, pondering hard over what could be in the bag. Some began to feel the outside of the bag, while some began to sniff the bag. 

“Is it daifuku?” One guessed. Shinazugawa shook his head. 

“Then, is it monaka?” Shinazugawa grinned and shook his head yet again. 

“It's dorayaki!” One exclaimed. 

Shinazugawa oh-ed and contemplated for a second, “You're pretty close.” 

Minami raised an arm and answered, “It's taiyaki, isn't it?” 

Shinazugawa chuckled and gave her another bag, “Bingo!” 

“Hey, that's not fair!”

“Is it because she's a girl?” 

“Sanemi-chan, I'm a girl too! Gimme one more!” 

“No way, you guys are just sore losers!” He retorted, then turned his gaze towards Minami, tuning out the others' arguments. “Give it to your ma, alright? And take care of your vase.” Minami's eyes watered, and Shinazugawa feared she would start crying again, but she simply smiled and nodded vehemently. Shinazugawa grinned at her and addressed them all, “Alright, off you guys go.”

“Bye!”

“Bye, Sanemi-chan!” 

“Please, come back soon!” 

Minami hung back a little, putting the vase back carefully into its case and tucking the confectionery bags over her wrists. She glanced at his state and whispered to his ear, “Should I fetch some clothes for you?” 

Shinazugawa chuckled quietly, patting her head with care and shook his head. “The sun is bright today. I'll dry off soon enough. Make sure you share with your ma, and don't let others bully you, okay?” 

Minami sheepishly smiled before hugging his neck, “Thank you, Sanemi-chan. I hope to see you again.” 

“Of course. What do you want next time?” 

“Your ohagi. Mommy loved it a lot and I loved it too!” 

“Done. Then, next time, how about you draw on a vase for me?” Minami giggled and nodded enthusiastically. He held out his pinkie and waited until she intertwined hers. “It's a promise.” 

“Bye bye, Sanemi-chan!” He waved at her until she disappeared from his sight. He finally got up to dust his clothes off when he at last noticed the lone cat on the other side of the lake. Tomioka tensed completely, watching Shinazugawa cautiously as the latter approached him, quietly, as if afraid that Tomioka would bolt at any chance he could get. 

“You…” He began and trailed off, cocking his head to the head, calculating. Tomioka thought he looked absolutely adorable, but saying it out loud would only invite an early death. Not to mention that anything said aloud would only be in the form of a pathetic mewl. His hackles rose when Shinazugawa's hands loomed over his head, and he hissed, his stance took on a more defensive and aggressive form, hands (when will he learn that he had paws now) swiping at him. He looked on, horrified, when Shinazugawa hissed, inspecting the red scratch wound that Tomioka had inflicted on him. 

He had done it now. He had fucking done it. He blew off his one and only chance of ever befriending Shinazugawa. He could die right then and there, and no one would know. No one would know that he became a fucking cat and died as a fucking cat. No one would know that Shinazugawa was the one who killed him. No one would know that Shinazugawa could kill a cat. Still, he was at least glad to have known that Shinazugawa had a soft side to him despite the rough and aggressive armour he wore all the time. 

Tomioka's blood ran cold when he saw Shinazugawa reach into his bag. Yep, he really was done for. His dark, watchful eyes closed, and he prepared himself for the onslaught that the latter was about to inflict upon him, which he, he could argue, was the most familiar with. He could only hope that his sister and Sabito would forgive him for dying such a pathetic death. 

“As I thought,” Shinazugawa started, and he reluctantly opened his big eyes, zoning in on the rice ball on his outstretched hand. “You're not from around here, are you?” 

Huh? “Meow?” 

“I'm gonna put it right here, okay? Go on, eat.” He instructed with gentleness. Tomioka blinked at him owlishly, then at the rice ball by his paws, then back at Shinazugawa who merely smiled at him patiently. That same little grin, blissful and breathtaking. 

Thump

Thump

Thump

Tomioka frowned in his heart. He had never seen Shinazugawa smile like… Well, like this. Like he was kind, like he was utterly beautiful, like he was living but so unfeeling that it hurt, like he was shattered but still lived on. Like, like, like he was human, a simple weak human being who smiled and cried and hurt. 

He instantaneously remembered their first meeting. Back then, Shinazugawa was the newly appointed wind pillar. He remembered him standing in front of the Master, refusing to bow down like the rest of the pillars. He remembered how angry and hurt he was, how he mourned, how he must have felt. How he cried. That time was etched and imprinted in his mind, still clear as a day, when he saw Shinazugawa's crystal-like tears flow out of his eyes to glide down his ruddy cheeks. He remembered his little hiccups of pain and defeat and how he buried his face in his best friend's will, holding his last semblance of assurance. How lost he must have felt at that time, to have lost his everything overnight, to stand as a pillar and not having his closest friend beside him. Tomioka knew, because he felt him, he understood him, he sympathised with him. 

He had wanted to offer some comfort to him, but he could not. He did not try afterwards, either. He believed that Shinazugawa would prefer being left alone and that same loneliness now festered into anger and anguish. It should not have been like this, because God knows how Tomioka had wanted to scream, to rage, to rip out his heart to whatever deity in exchange of Sabito and his sister. God knows how much he wanted to die, to give up, to run, for he was simply a coward. He stood in the stolen place of a hero, and he could not even bear its title with pride and live up to it. 

Perhaps if he had approached him, perhaps they would have been friends, rather than distant, distant co-workers. 

He pushed every thought away as Tomioka closed in slowly, lowering his head to eat the sticky rice ball. He snuck a glance at Shinazugawa and lowered them immediately when he saw his beaming expression. He ignored the hurt in his chest and ate quietly. Once done, he sat on his haunches and licked at his paw religiously. Shinazugawa in turn, reached out slowly towards him and Tomioka let him, continuing to like his little paws. He had thought that Shinazugawa would simply pat him on his head and call it a day, instead, he picked him into his lap and-

Oh! Oh….

 This was not supposed to happen. 

This was definitely not supposed to happen. 

This was how he found himself in such a situation where he now starts to purr when Shinazugawa's skilled fingers stroke him under his chin. He closes his eyes in bliss and mewls. He hears the man giggle and he immediately snaps his eyes open, burning in the sight of him, laughing with reckless abandon, into his own very soul. “You like that, don't you?” Tomioka mewls again, snuggling his head into his open palm, relishing into the warmth that seeps out of him. “Heh…” He licks the center of his palm and promptly jumps off his lap, mewling loudly and noisily, snapping his jaws into his black pants and pulls as hard as his feline. body would let him. “What is it?” Shinazugawa wordlessly follows the agile little creature, reaching a deserted road, stopping when the cat stops as well. 

His mewls become louder and more urgent. Shinazugawa jogs to where it has stopped. He kneels down by his side and grabs the mismatched haori, and further away lies a katana. “This… Tomioka?” The cat mewls louder and he frowns. “What's this doing here?” He eyes the cat as if it would answer. He shakes his head and hangs the haori from his arm, holding the katana in the other. “A demon.” He growls, rage colouring his eyes. The cat stretches on him and mewls in agitation. He bends down and grabs the cat into his arms, scratching behind his ears, smiling when he feels it purr beneath him. “That useless Tomioka. God knows what shit he got himself into.” 

Well, in a pretty furry situation, Tomioka surmises, snuggling further into Shinazugawa's chest. Just then, Tomioka's kasugai crow, Kanzaburo, comes landing on Shinazugawa's shoulder. “Giyuu…” It murmurs. The said man inwardly sighs. 

“What, I'm not Tomioka. Go tell the Master to hold an emergency pillar meeting. We've got a problem.” Shinazugawa commands, shooing off the crow. “Where are you going!” He screeches. “The other way, goddamnit!” The crow murmurs something and flies away tiredly. Shinazugawa rubs the bridge of his nose and returns his attention to the cat in his arms. “Thank you. Now where the actual fuck could Tomioka be. I swear to God if he's dead, I'll personally pull him back from hell and kill him again.” He says, and oddly enough, Tomioka does not detect a single trace of hatred in his words. If anything, Shinazugawa seems… well, dare he say, affectionate. He simply blinks at him, ignoring the tightening of his chest. He lays his ear against him, letting the steady sound of his heart lull him into a nap. 

~~~~~

When he blinks his big, dark eyes open, he is alone. But he hears murmurs of an ongoing discussion above him. He sluggishly realises that he is lying beneath the flooring of the Master's home. He lets out one big yawn and stretches his feline body before creeping closer towards the discussion. Being a cat is no different from when he was human Tomioka. No one ever really notices him from the corner he sits and no one ever really bothers to hold a conversation with him (except maybe Kocho, but really, he would count that as getting relentlessly bullied). He finally settles in a dark corner. 

“So, you mean to say you coincidentally stumbled upon Tomioka's haori and his katana?” Iguro questions pointedly. He sees Shinazugawa roll his eyes, lips curling up into a snarl, very unlike the soft smile he was blessed with earlier and Tomioka finds that he much prefers his gentle smile. 

“That's exactly what I'm saying.” Iguro hums dubiously. Shinazugawa does not give him the satisfaction of an explanation. 

“Still,” Kanroji begins meekly, “to lose Tomioka to a demon… It doesn't feel right.” 

Shinazugawa adds on, “His corpse wasn't there, so that shithead is probably still breathing somewhere.” 

Wonderful way of saying you think I'm alive, Shinazugawa, Tomioka thinks dryly, licking his paw lazily. 

“What a boring way to go, though. Like, no explosions and stuff?” Uzui yawns, his jewels catching the light that filtered into the dim room. The other pillars directly ignore him. Just then, the Master enters, supported by his wife, Lady Amane. They, including Tomioka in his new form, all drop into a respectful bow. “Master.” 

“My children. I am pleased to see you all in good health, although Giyuu seems to be missing.” He notes, sitting on a plush cushion. His wife settles next to him. The pillars relax into a sitting posture. 

“Yes, Master, which is why we are conducting this meeting,” the stone pillar intercepts, a deep baritone voice rumbling in his chest. “The wind pillar happened to be passing by when he saw the water pillar's belongings on the ground, including his sword, and no trace of the pillar. We believe that it is the work of a demon.” 

“Sanemi,” his supple voice addresses Shinazugawa. “is what Gyomei saying correct?” 

Shinazugawa bows his head in respect. “That is correct, Master. However, it is hard to believe that he's dead.” 

The Master nods his head in agreement then lifts his eyes to the other pillars, “What do the other children think?” 

“Could he have been teleported somewhere else?” Kanroji suggests, face flushing as the attention shifts to her. 

“It's not a bad guess.” Kocho says, smiling kindly at her. “Transformation could also be a plausible explanation. He could be wandering about as an ant, who would know?” 

Well… You're not too far, Kocho.

“True, but wouldn't the effect be gone when the demon dies?” Uzui inquires, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. 

“Hm! I agree with Uzui!” Rengoku adds, after a bout of silence and possible contemplation. 

“Well, how about we assume that the demon is still alive?” 

“I agree with Kocho!” 

“What about you, Tokito?” 

“Huh? Who are we talking about again?” 

“...” 

“It seems that we are truly lost. Shall we begin by investigating the demon Giyuu handled? Sanemi, will you do it?” 

Said man immediately lowers his head and speaks in a low voice, holding nothing but affection and tenderness, “By your order, Master, I will.” 

It would be nice if he spoke to me in that voice, Tomioka thinks and then blinks dumbly at his errant thoughts. What. 

“Very well. In the meantime, Shinobu, won't you research on what could have caused this?” 

“Of course, Master.” 

“Thank you all. I would like for all of my children to help in this investigation. It is necessary that we find Giyuu soon. With this, the pillar meeting is concluded. I would like to remain here for a little while longer.” 

A chorus of 'yes, master' and goodbyes rings into the courtyard and Ubuyashiki smiles tenderly. He directs his gaze into the corner where Tomioka is seated and beckons him over. His feline body runs over to him and rubs his head into his knee. “Is this you, Giyuu?” The cat mewls and nods. “Oh!” Ubuyashiki laughs, smoothing the cat's long, soft fur over his head. “Your comrades will find a way. I urge you to trust them just as you trust your blade.” Tomioka nods again and lays a paw over his knee. Just then, Shinazugawa comes back running and panting, expression aghast and flushing at the sight of a cat being all over his Master. 

“M-Master, my apologies. I don't know how he-” The Master interrupts him with a small laugh. 

“Is this your cat, Sanemi?” He doesn't wait for an answer. “What a wonderful creature.” He says in awe and gently pushes Tomioka towards Shinazugawa who immediately cradles him in his arms, ignoring the struggles of the cat in finding a comfortable place, and bows his head in farewell and in goodbye as well. Ubuyashiki softly chuckles at their disappearing shadows. 

“Kagaya-sama?” His wife questions. 

He shakes his head and murmurs, mostly to himself, but it does not go unheard by his wife, “I truly believe something different might bloom between those two children.” 

~~~~~

Snuggling against the warm chest of Shinazugawa, Tomioka lazily licks his paw, unbothered. Shinazugawa looks down at him in his arms and scratches behind his fluffy ear, “Jeez, you just can't stay still, can you?" Expecting no answer, he continues to scratch him, opting between petting his head and scratching underneath his chin. Tomioka lets out a little mewl to which Shinazugawa responds with a little smile. 

Soon enough, they reach the wind estate. Shinazugawa takes off his shoes by the sliding door and steps into his home. Tomioka looks around curiously. It is a cozy home, he notes. There is not much but really, he has no right to be commenting on it when his house is as empty as himself. There are a few drawings glued to the wall, and on a table beneath his katana holder lies a large chest. He does not have the time to look at it further before a sweet scent which he does not recognise wafts over him. He shifts in Shinazugawa's arms and he is let down immediately. He mewls and rubs his little feline face on his calves. The taller bends down to his small height and pats his head. “I'll get you something to eat.”

Tomioka follows Shinazugawa into the kitchen where the unknown scent grows stronger. He flits in between his legs and mewls again. Shinazugawa ignores him in favour of preparing his meal. Tomioka watches with inquisitiveness as he moves around the kitchen effortlessly, taking out leftover rice balls and squishing it with some freshly cooked tuna and finishing it with crushed seaweed papers. Tomioka's little stomach rumbles immediately. Shinazugawa bends down and presents the cat with a whole plate of it, smiling when he goes directly for it. He takes out a smaller bowl from the drawer beside him and fills it up with water from the little basin, placing the dish next to him. 

He sits by the wall, watching the cat eat with an adoring smile while he nibbles on a rice ball by himself. Finished with it, Tomioka stretches his lithe body and walks to Shinazugawa, plopping into his lap. It is not like he would be able to achieve this when (or if) he gets back his previous body. He relishes in the scritches and gentle pats that the usually grumpy, aggressive man gives him. He purrs under his skilled fingers. They're rough on the edges, proof of how hard of a worker he is, but they're gentle and careful when he strokes Tomioka. 

Unexpectedly, a sound, closer to a snort than to a giggle, comes out of the silver haired man. Tomioka lets out a flabbergasted mewl. Never in his life did he ever imagine such a sound coming from the Shinazugawa, the mean and scary Shinazugawa. The latter looks down at him and says, “I'm just thinking about how Sumi would've loved you.”

Sumi? Is she your lover, Shinazugawa? Oddly enough, I don't want to hear about her. I don't know why though. It's an ugly feeling. I don't want to feel this, at all. So please, stop talking. 

Unaware of his errant thoughts, Shinazugawa rambles, quite uncharacteristically, “She used to love fluffy cats like you. My goodness, she'd go crazy whenever she'd see one. So, this one day, she snuck a kitten into the house for three full days. No one even knew. God knows how she did that. It was only after Teiko had an allergy reaction that we found out.” 

Who's Teiko now? Is she your daughter? Did you used to have a wife and kid before, Shinazugawa? I feel bad, but please stop. He ignores the burning sensation in his chest as Shinazugawa's carefree and reminiscent laughter rings out in the enclosed space. Somehow, the sound of it makes him feel even worse. Is this… jealousy? He ponders. 

“My mom had a mental breakdown that day. Sumi was around 5 and Teiko turned 12 the previous day. I still remember Genya snickering at Teiko's swollen face and Sumi's devious giggles.” 

Hm? The ages don't add up… Hm? Oh! Are you talking about your siblings, Shinazugawa? I… I seem to have misunderstood. Tomioka shuffles uncomfortably on his lap, embarrassed at his own stupid and idiotic thoughts. He nervously looks around, avoiding Shinazugawa's questioning stare. 

“Sorry, did I say too much?” Tomioka mewls loudly in protest, placing his furry little paws on his bare, warm chest. No, not at all. Please talk to me more. I… I want to hear everything. Shinazugawa quietly smiles, patting his fluffy head with care and gentleness.

There is a moment of contemplation between them. Nothing is said, but everything is understood. “I wonder if I took you from your family.” Shinazugawa whispers his feelings. His voice holds a peculiar melancholic pain to it and Tomioka hears it. Of course he does. He's a cat. His senses are sharper than usual, but he wishes they were not. 

I followed you. How could you say that? You didn't, Shinazugawa. Of course you didn't.

Unable to put forward his thoughts as words, Tomioka only mewls soberly and tries to climb on Shinazugawa. The latter huffs, “What?” He grabs Tomioka and holds him in his arms as he would to a baby. Seeing the cat's soft belly in the open, Shinazugawa sneaks a glance at the blissfully unaware cat and gingerly approaches his hand. He places a careful and gentle palm on Tomioka's stomach and waits. Seeing no reaction from the cat, Shinazugawa smiles and fervently rubs his belly. 

Oh… This is… quite pleasant… 

Tomioka rumbles and purrs beneath Shinazugawa's hand, wiggling around in contentment. Feeling overstimulated, Tomioka slaps a fluffy paw on the back of his hand and he immediately stops. “Too much?” He asks, and Tomioka replies with a slow blink of his big, doe eyes. Shinazugawa snickers and boops his wet nose, patting his head afterwards. His hand retreats, and Tomioka mourns its loss. 

“I'm going to rest for a little while. After that, I need to investigate the demon Tomioka fought. Hopefully Kocho got something on it.” He narrates to Tomioka, letting his head loll onto the wall. 

I hope so too, but, Shinazugawa, if I become human again, will you tell me more about you, will you tell me your worries, will you cook for me, will you smile at me, will you even talk to me? Wouldn't it be better if I stay as I am? 

Shinazugawa tilts his head down to face him, smiling so gently that it can only hurt so bad, like someone is squeezing his heart out, and the shock goes through his entire body. He does not know what to make of Shinazugawa anymore. Who is he? What is he like truly? What does he like to eat, to do, to read? Why is it that on the outside, he's brash, cold and dismissive, but then, he cooks for little kids, dives into freezing water for a child, takes in a stray cat and feeds it, smiles and laughs and talks freely?

Who are you, Shinazugawa? 

The question remains unsaid, and the answer remains unknown. 

~~~~

It is dark when he opens his eyes again. He is disoriented for a few seconds. His feline eyes adjust to the darkness and he finds himself lying on a soft, cotton futon, much smaller in size than the regular ones. He lifts his little head up and gazes at the moon from the porch. It sits high and mighty in the sky, untouchable and unreachable. He thinks of Shinazugawa, of how similar the moon is to him and he smiles. It is small and barely there, but it is a smile nonetheless. 

Just then his sharp ears catch faint whimpers from inside and he straightens up. It could be a demon, but it is highly unlikely, especially with this being Shinazugawa's estate. His hackles rise when he hears another pained whimper. He scratches at the door, mewls aloud and slaps it with all his feline might, but no one answers the door. Another broken, choked sound rings out and he resolves himself. Tomioka, reluctantly thankful for his lithe body, jumps on the window sill. He paws at the window, eyes glittering when he sees an inadequate space left for aeration, but it is enough and he pushes and pushes, finally opening it to a reasonable width to jump in.

He follows the continuous whimpers to Shinazugawa's room and he hesitates. That is a place where he does not wish to impose. It is where Shinazugawa might feel the safest, most at ease and entering without his permission is intruding on his personal space. But right now, the sound louder than everything is the sound of his weak, vulnerable groans. He throws all caution to the wind and pushes in. 

The room is gloomy, he notes, and empty. He sees a wooden chest in the far corner of the room, and a small writing table by its side. There is no burning candle to illuminate his room, but the moon, oh the moon, pities him. It casts a scintillating glow upon him and his hair lights up in the dark as though he was an angel, wearing a halo of purity and sacredness. Even when he is in pain, when he is haunted by his demons, by his nightmares, by the worst of himself, he is still so, so beautiful and it aches. It hurts something deep inside Tomioka. He feels as though someone had stuck his hand in chest, grasped his heart and squeezed it mercilessly. 

He stalks closer to Shinazugawa, noting his pinched expression. His forehead is furrowed and eyes backing wildly in their sockets. His ample lips (those that he's been paying close attention to) are slightly pulled open, breathing heavily. His hands are clutching his bedspread beneath him and he is whining deep in this throat. 

Tomioka settles by his head, squeezing his lithe body into a loaf. He mewls gently, tongue sneaking out to lick at the drops of sweat beading on Shinazugawa's forehead. He places his left little paw on his cheek and presses firmly, praying to every deity above to wake the other up. Shinazugawa continues to whimper, murmuring under his breath. “...enya… Ma… oshi… iko… uuya… koto…umi… P'ease… Don'... 'eave me…” 

Tomioka's face pinches and he shifts closer to Shinazugawa, burying his face in the latter's neck, purring and mewling gently to provide some sort of ground, his rough tongue licking at his cheek. As a cat, Tomioka is tremendously limited. He does not have arms to hold him, he does not have lips to kiss his discomfort away, he does not have a voice to reassure him. He can only lie there, beside him and for him. 

It is not long when Shinazugawa's breathing begins to stabilise and his eyes begin to crack open. He is disoriented for a little while, gaze fixed on the ceiling. It is as if he is dazed, still living in the past. There are traces of tears on his ruddy cheeks, some still spilling from the corner of them, clinging desperately on his long, beautiful lashes. He breathes. He is alive. He did not succumb to his past. He is here and still breathing, and he does not know whether to lament or to be grateful. 

He blinks sluggishly and it is only then that he feels a weight on his shoulder, and strangely enough, he is not panicking. No, instead he feels… thankful for the weight. He feels grounded, on earth, still alive and breathing. And he turns his head slowly, surprise bleeding into every crevice on his face when his eyes meet those of a cat. They blink at each other, steadily and quietly, then Shinazugawa smiles gently, turning his whole body towards the cat. He reaches out a hand and places it on his head, scratching and petting. 

“It's you.” He breathes out in a careful and gentle tone. Tomioka mewls, licking his fingers, eyes zeroing on his serene smile. His eyes are still blown wide and there are heavy bags under his eyes, and he is still as beautiful as ever. “Thank you.” He whispers and Tomioka shakes his head trying to get the message across. 

“Meow.” You don't have to thank me, Shinazugawa. You shouldn't. I… was helpless. I couldn't help you and I'm sorry… 

“It wasn't a bad dream, you know.” He starts out of the blue and Tomioka listens attentively to his throaty voice. “We were at the house. Mom was washing our clothes. Genya was braiding Teiko's hair and Teiko was braiding Sumi's hair. Hiroshi was helping Shuya dress up and Koto was in my arms. It was nice and peaceful. I felt as if all this was just one big bad dream and I was back home with them, living and laughing. And suddenly, they were all leaving me. Even when I was begging them not to, they still… And I… I was helpless… I was watching them go and I… and I couldn't-” 

His throat constricts and he closes his eyes in agony. Red coats his lips from where he bit into them and he chokes off a sob. His whole body trembles relentlessly, and he cries, muffling his tormenting weep of agony in his pillow. The sound rattles in Tomioka's chest and obstructs his entire being from functioning, and he wishes he could take away his pain and inflict it upon himself. 

“I was supposed to protect them! I… I was the older brother, so why! Why did I survive! Why not them! Why! Why! Why me!” He howls in utter sorrow and Tomioka closes his eyes, unable to do anything. His woeful voice echoes in his mind, heart and soul and suffocates his whole being, clings onto him like the remnants of a gut-wrenching past and strangles him. He cannot breathe, he cannot function and he feels like crying with this heartbreaking man. 

He is unable, so he quietly stays beside him and lets him cry.

He cries like a little boy wailing for his beloved mother. He cries like a little boy grieving for his family. Shinazugawa cries, simply like a little boy. He sobs into his pillow, hands clutching Tomioka to his chest as though he was his lifeline, and he sobs. Tomioka lets him. He does not move. He does not mewl. He lets him cry. He lets him empty his feelings, empty his heart. That is all Tomioka ever wanted to do. He wants to widen his chest, pry open this damaged, beautiful man even if it leaves him with a handful of splinters and thorns and no hope of ever putting him back together.

He sees this broken little boy and prays that tomorrow would be gentler, kinder on him. 

~~~~

When dawn breaks and his large, feline eyes open, he is alone. The futon Shinazugawa slept on is well folded underneath his small body, and the window is open, filtering the warm, early rays of the sun inside the room. His curtains move with a gentle swish, and a pleasant breeze washes over him. He stands on his paws, stretching out his full body and pushing out a long, tedious yawn. Tomioka jumps onto the sill of the window and takes in the fresh, clean air. It's not fully morning. The sun has yet to come out completely, and there are dark clouds looming. But it is warm and pleasant. 

He jumps down onto the grass and his agile little ears twitch in the direction from where he hears movements, and he follows his one sense. He stumbles upon Shinazugawa, up at the crack of dawn, the latter is training. He swings his sword in wild and erratic motions, doing a series of stunts and jumps and in the blink of an eye, while he murmurs his breathing technique, the bamboo stalks in front of him are cut in one swift motion. Tomioka is utterly enthralled. He watches as Shinazugawa breathes steadily, sheathing his sword back into the sheath in a dexterous way, almost in an instinctive way. 

The wild, lavender eyes of Shinazugawa's meet his, and he subconsciously mewls. The latter smiles kindly and approaches the cat. He kneels by him and scratches under his furry chin, relishing in the little warm purrs he is emitting. “Hi.” He greets softly, and Tomioka mewls back in response. “Are you hungry?” Tomioka circles around his legs, nipping at the several, much complicated belts. “I'll take that as a yes. Is tuna okay?” Tomioka mewls. How could tuna not be okay for a cat? 

They are back in the kitchen and Tomioka still sits patiently by his legs, watching him work around the kitchen as an expert. He chops something, dices another thing, crushes something else and beats (?) a thing, and after a short while, there is a bowl of mashed tuna with fresh coriander, crushed seaweed and, is that pickled lemon slices? Tomioka dubiously sniffs the content and tentatively licks the tuna. His eyes instantaneously bulge out. There is an assortment of flavours. With the fishy taste, together with the coriander, giving it a fresh and crunchy taste, the seaweed accentuation on the tuna, and the pickled lemon gives it a slightly sour yet appetising taste and it is one of the best things Tomioka has ever had the pleasure and joy of tasting. 

He enthusiastically digs in, purring all the while, and with a gentle pat on the head, Shinazugawa backs away, sitting down at the same place as the other day and eats his tuna-filled rice ball. As Tomioka finishes up, he saunters over to Shinazugawa and plops into his lap, much like before. The latter chuckles and caresses him. “Thank you,” he hears the gruff man whisper. “for staying with me last night.” He clarifies, and Tomioka mewls. 

He has not forgotten last night, and he believes that he might never will. He has seen the usually rough and cold man break down into the warm and soft-hearted little he actually is. Despite all this, how could he ever dare to forget this? His tears, his grievance, his acceptance, his laughter and him. He has seen it all. So, how could he not stay with Shinazugawa? 

“It's gonna rain later.” He mentions, eyes trained to the dark looming around, and Tomioka mewls apathetically, unconcerned and uncaring. “Today, we're going to investigate the demon Tomioka engaged with.” His ears perk up. “It's possible that the demon is still very much alive, and if he is, then so are his murders.” Shinazugawa brushes down a hand through Tomioka's fur and pets him. “Will you come with me?” The cat pushes his head into Shinazugawa's warm palm and sticks out his rough tongue. The latter chuckles, rubbing his fluffy head a little too roughly and Tomioka meows with no emotions. “Heh, 'm sorry.” 

It is not long before Shinazugawa leaves to get ready and he is back in less than a jiffy. Just when he exits his home, his crow comes to him, soaring in the wind to land on his forearm. “Sorai.” Shinazugawa greets and the crow keens, rubbing her feathery head against his cheek and Tomioka has to dig his claws into the ground to stop him from swatting the bird away. 

“Kocho Shinobu has sent a letter for your mission!” The crow announces, and Shinazugawa thanks her gratefully, taking the tied letter from her legs. She flies away as Shinazugawa pulls open the letter.

Hello, Shinazugawa-san. As you may already be aware, we do not know what kind of demon Tomioka-san got involved in, and unfortunately, I could not find anything related to a certain blood demon art. This is only to inform you to be careful and not to engage with the demon, if it is still alive. Well then, I wish you all the best on your mission.

Shinazugawa looks down at Tomioka and shakes his head in dismay, balling the paper in his hands, “Nothing helpful. It's jus' you and me, buddy.” And Tomioka quite likes the sound of that. 

Just you and me. Just me and you. 

He ignores the little fluttering in his chest and runs to Shinazugawa, catching up to his long leg. On the way, Tomioka notes that the taller of the two likes to talk a lot. He narrates little, short stories of his and his siblings' shenanigans. When they pass through a bridge, he tells the story from when he almost convinced Genya that they had found him under a bridge and was adopted. He laughs at the memory and there is a flash of regret and moroseness, but they are gone the second Tomioka blinks. A passer-by would probably consider Shinazugawa as a senile person, talking to a cat of all things, but he does not seem to care as he continues to narrate the time when Shuya had peed on the bed and was ashamed so he told no one except Shinazugawa and they ran through the night to get him warm water, and it turned out that everybody knew and simply pretended not to.

Tomioka laughs and smiles together with him, although it does seem dubious at first glance, with his large jaw and long whiskers, but there is a content little grin on his feline face, and it is enough. 

It is not late when they reach the village Tomioka had been to. The darks which had been looming before became much more apparent and bold. They soon arrive in front of a wisteria house under the guise of a restaurant. They enter and are instantly greeted by an older man who guides them further inside the restaurant. They are seated between the four walls of a large space. Shinazugawa sits on his shins and Tomioka quietly settles beside him in a loaf position. The older man sneaks him a cold look and says nothing, turning his attention to Shinazugawa. 

“Would you like to drink something?” Shinazugawa shakes his head and the old man nods. “Very well. Then, based on the eyewitnesses' reports we have received, the demon was using a unique type of blood demon art, which I'm sure is not uncommon in your experience. His demon art permitted him to transform his victims into whatever he wished.” 

Shinazugawa interrupts, “The report Tomi- my colleague received was that his blood demon art was about hypnosis.” 

The old man nods, “That isn't incorrect. The hypnosis occurs just before the victims are transformed. The demon uses hypnosis on a person to transform into someone the other may want to see, meet and talk to. Thus the amount of victims. Thankfully, a demon slayer eliminated the demon a few days ago. Might I ask, why the inquiry?” 

Shinazugawa, lost in thoughts, ignores the question. “Are there any victims who survived the transformation?” The old man thinks for a minute and starts rustling through some papers and finally hands a document over. 

“Ijiku Rida. She was transformed into a wolf to bring the demon her preys. She is currently safe and sound, and back with her family. Ms. Rida resides not far from here. Extra information is in the report.” Shinazugawa leaves through the pages, reading intensely. Tomioka scoots closer to him and sneaks a look at the papers. The victim in question is 27 years old and had a husband before he fell victim to his own wife. Leaving behind that past, she now resides with her parents and two siblings. There are no abnormalities recorded about her. 

“Are there any records about the demon keeping a hideout of some sort, to keep victims and such?” Shinazugawa questions and Tomioka looks up at him, studying the profile of his face: his jaw, his cheeks, his unblinking lavender eyes, his long, curly lashes and, his plump and rosy lips. Everything about this man was hypnotizing and utterly bewitching. Tomioka truly believes that the demon stuck his hypnosis on him, alongside this questionable transformation, because why can't he take his eyes off of Shinazugawa? 

“-ormation if you conversed with Ms. Rida.” Shinazugawa nods and his eyes track the way his fluffy silvery-white hair falls over his face and it is such a captivating sight that Tomioka misses when exactly the conversation finishes and he is suddenly cradled in Shinazugawa's arms and making way towards God-knows-where. 

“Listen, even though the sun is up, if you sense any danger, you run immediately, okay? Do not wait around. Just run and don't look back.” He instructs, rubbing the cat's chin. Tomioka rumbles and purrs under him, and he licks the tip of his finger. Shinazugawa smiles and looks on ahead to a modest house. He sets Tomioka down (much to his chagrin and disapproval) and raps on the door. After three more knocks, a young woman opens the door and her eyes immediately flit to the sword by Shinazugawa's waist. 

She dubiously looks at the man and greets him nonetheless. “Is there an issue?” 

“Ms. Rida?” Shinazugawa asks instead. The lady nods hesitantly. “My name is Shinazugawa. I am from the Demon Slayer Corps.” Recognition bleeds into her eyes and relief makes her tensed shoulders sag in comfort. 

“Yes, how can I help?” 

“Just some inquiries about a demon you have experienced.” 

She nods solemnly and steps out of the doorway, closing the door softly behind her. She winces, “I apologise. My siblings are asleep and I don't want to…” She trails off, glancing at Shinazugawa who nods in familiar comprehension. “Please, do ask.” 

Tomioka sees the full lips of Shinazugawa move, asking a flurry of questions. His eyes shift to the small lady and she is suddenly a blur in front of him. Her form and shapes wriggle into squiggles. He sees her smile and laugh. No, she is not smiling, she is sneering at him, she is mocking him. Her cracked lips move but they emit no sound. He takes a sudden step back and hisses boldly at her. Shinazugawa looks down at him, startled at the unexpected noise. He apologises to the lady, but Tomioka continues to glare at her warily, baring his fangs and tensing his body. His vision is still not distinctively visible. Shinazugawa bends down to pick him up in his arms, holding him as he would hold a newborn child, and he is instantly hit by a sweet scent. He lets his eyes close, hissing weakly and snuggles further into Shinazugawa. His ears do not register the rest of the conversation. 

There is a heavy thudding behind his eyelids and he mewls loudly. He shifts in Shinazugawa's arms. “What is it?” He hears his supple voice and he forces his eyes open, the image of Shinazugawa clearing up. He is sitting on the sidewalk, his gentle left hand cautiously patting his stomach. He swipes a paw on his right one and rubs his neck against his knuckles. Shinazugawa sighs and pets him, ruffling his fur. Tomioka jumps off his lap and stretches his lithe body, opening his jaws to a large yawn. His rough tongue licks over his paw and he looks at Shinazugawa who is, in turn, openly staring at him. 

“You little brat.” Shinazugawa starts, resting his head on his palm. “Did you do that on purpose?” 

Well, no. But how will I say that? Instead, he opts to rub his small face on Shinazugawa's knee. I wonder what that was. Demonic residue, perhaps? Or, is it still alive? No, I saw it disintegrate. Did we resonate because we were both transformed? Yes, that makes sense.

Shinazugawa's voice breaks him out of this thinking, “Are you hungry?” Tomioka walks around his spread legs then settles between them on his haunches. “That's a no, then. And just you know, because of your theatrical little drama, I couldn't find out much. Just that, no that shitty demon doesn't keep hideouts, and that the transformation undid when he died, for her. So either Tomioka is lying dead or lost somewhere or he's still under some kind of sleep. For fucks' sake, when will he quit with his dramatics?” 

???

I wouldn't quite call it dramatics, Shinazugawa. 

He mewls with boredom and Shinazugawa peers between his legs to lock eyes with the cat. Just then, the gloomy clouds from before block out the blinding rays of the sun and almost immediately, a sizzling electrifying light zips across the sky and seconds later, a booming sound is heard. Tomioka jumps at the blow, hissing and mewling. Shinazugawa gazes up to the sky and a peculiar, impish smile widens his lips. 

Around them, people have already begun running to safety, packing up their food, clothing and toys stalls. A thick droplet of water lands on Tomioka's nose and he shakes his head, baring his teeth, and soon enough there is a heavy downpour. Not wanting to get wet, Tomioka runs from the assault of the rain on his (precious) fur to take refuge underneath a thick tree. He shakes off the drops of rain on him and his eyes fall on Shinazugawa who is still sitting in the rain. His head is tilted upwards, letting the sting of the temperature of the shower beat down on him. His hair becomes damp and his clothes stick to his body, yet he doesn't move. 

Tomioka mewls, as loud as he can, to get his attention, and it works. Shinazugawa turns his head towards the cat and grins, wide and with reckless abandon. It is not his usual sneering smiles. No, no, it's the smile of a little boy, of a little Sanemi who is free from all; who didn't watch the horrors of his demon mother; who didn't hold a knife to protect his family; who didn't leave his own brother to kill demons with his bare hands; who didn't experience love and tenderness only to lose them; who isn't scarred; who isn't scared of love and to love and who doesn't have faith anymore. 

No, this is the smile of a Sanemi who no one knows, who no one else could and would ever experience. This is the smile of Giyuu's Sanemi, and no one else's. 

And as Tomioka watches the other stand up, laughing as he spreads his arms to the sky, twirling around in the rain, a strange feeling bubbles up in his chest. He takes a step outside the safe, dry place, uncaring of the heavy rain. His eyes are transfixed on the carefree figure of the man he knows is unable of being nice. And he is the same person who is laughing and playing in the rain like a child. Shinazugawa shoots him a look and beckons the cat over, uncaring if he is seeming like a madman for wanting to play with an animal in the rain. 

There is a sudden tightness in Tomioka's chest, travelling all around his veins, his arteries, his whole entire body. The feeling coils around him like a snake, but it isn't a feeling of suffocation. No, it's the feeling from when he first put on his haori: the feeling of warmth. His throat clogs up and when he gulps down his saliva, it hurts, his fingertips tingle as though he is being electrocuted and his stomach swoops in this unexplainable, uncomfortable way, and the heavy beats of his stubborn heart resonate in his ears noisily and he suddenly feels the need to cry. 

Ah, is this what Tsutako-nee san was talking about? That foreign, unknown feeling of… love? Me, in love? With Shinazugawa? I'm in love with Shinazugawa Sanemi? 

Tomioka laughs in his mind. Who would have thought? And before he knows it, Tomioka is running towards Shinazugawa holding his joyous gaze. 

I want to tell him that I love him. I want to hug him, be with him. I want to hold him. I want to hold him. I want to hold himIwanttoholdhimiwanttoholdhimIwanttoholdhim. 

 And as he jumps from the sidewalk and into Shinazugawa's arms, a heavy, black fog cloaks around him, sizzling and unbearably cold. He barely sees the bewilderment in Shinazugawa's eyes, his own widening, when he realises that the one who ends up in the arms of the white-haired man is not the feline body of a cat, but his own firm, muscled and very naked body. He crashes into Shinazugawa forcefully, sending both of them sprawling on the muddy ground with Shinazugawa on his back, his arms holding onto Tomioka's waist, and the latter on top of him, arms bracing his weight beside Shinazugawa's head. 

His dark hair is loose, cascading down the side of his face to gently brush the ruddy cheeks of Shinazugawa, forming an intimate veil around them. The rain still beats down heavily upon them in loud pitter-patter, a frog croaks in the distance and he faintly hears a child crying, but the two are silent, save for their heavy breathing. Shinazugawa is looking up at him with the most horrified expression. His pupils are blown wide and there are traces of mud on his face, and he still manages to look breathtaking. Tomioka, on the other hand, can do nothing else but also stare at him. He wonders what sort of expression he wears on his face to receive such a reaction from Shinazugawa, or it could be from the fact that he has just seen a trusted companion transform into a certain someone who he detests. Tomioka isn't sure which one he would choose. 

They do not talk for a while, letting the rain drench them to their bones, letting this peculiar moment process in their minds. Tomioka is hyper aware of his naked skin pressing against the barely concealed, cool body of Shinazugawa's and he opens his mouth to say something, anything when recognition and realisation bleeds into Shinazugawa's expression, and in an instant, he is pushed away roughly, the moment shattering like a thousand pieces of glass. Shinazugawa stands up abruptly, away from Tomioka, clenching his fists by his side and letting the rain wash away the mud. He bows down his face, grinding his teeth. 

Tomioka stands up after him, uncaring of his indecency. He steps barefooted towards him but he hesitates at the last moment because what would he even say?

I love you…? 

Sorry for betraying you until now…? 

What could he even say in this situation? “Shinazugawa… I…” He starts tentatively and falters when he sees his broad shoulders tense. “I didn't know how to… I just… I…” His eyebrows furrow and he clenches his own fists in turn, pushing himself in Shinazugawa's direction. “Shinazugawa, please say something.” 

Said male turns towards him, bloodshot red eyes and erect veins popping out lucidly. He simply glares at him and grits his teeth in place. Tomioka sees Shinazugawa, the wind pillar. Sanemi, the kind hearted little boy he saw, has gone back in his shell. Tomioka ambles towards him, suddenly fearless and resilient. “Shinazugawa, it was not in my intention to… for this to happen… I didn't know how to tell you, or anyone else about this… Shinazugawa, please trust me…” 

Shinazugawa scoffs and turns his face away, “Are you done? Then, go report to the Master. Kocho, as well.” There is an odd calmness to his voice that Tomioka is not used to. No, he is used to his brash attitude. The Shinazugawa from before would have already punched him a few times, and Tomioka would have let him. But this Shinazugawa is cold. He does not look at Tomioka, he does not face him nor acknowledge him, it is as if Tomioka meant nothing to him. Shinazugawa tenses himself to walk away from him, but the latter, in a state of panic, grabs onto his wrist and he is immediately shaken off, as though he is a disgusting and repulsive creature. “Don't you fucking dare touch me!” He warns, but the expression Tomioka sees on his face is not of anger. No, it's of heartbreak, pure and utter heartbreak. His forehead is furrowed and his lips are held by his sharp teeth, puncturing the soft skin there and he lets the red, salty substance drip down his chin, steadily getting washed away by the rain. His eyes are red and inflamed, bearing the look of a crazed person. 

He has done it. He has broken the trust that the other had given him. He has broken the trust of the only person he wanted to befriend. How would he even begin to make amends? How would he even tell him how desperately in love he is with him? 

Tomioka frowns at his hands and faces Shinazugawa again, looking right into his eyes. “Shi-” 

“Shut up!” The other roars and he falls silent. “Are you not fucking done yet! Do you want to feed me more lies! Well, go the fuck ahead! Tell me, tell me how sorry you are, or how you had to bear with me-” Tomioka shakes his head vehemently, but Shinazugawa continues, “or how you had to hear my pathetic sob stories, or how you had to stay under the same fucking roof as me, or how-” Shinazugawa hiccups and he bites his lips, looking at the puddle of water beneath his feet, “Fuck!” He groans, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. 

“Shina-” 

“Just, fucking shut up, Tomioka. Just shut up. I don't need to hear from you about how pathetic I am, or how you regret getting stuck with me. I don't need to hear it, alright? Just, go the fuck away…” 

“That's not it! Please, listen-”

Shinazugawa grinds his teeth, waving a nonchalant hand at him. “I'm done.” He turns away from Tomioka, and whether the drop of water gliding down his cheeks was the rain or his tears, Tomioka would probably never know. And he watches the retreating back of Shinazugawa with defeat and sorrow, misery clawing at his heart and soul. He would much rather have Shinazugawa punch him, curse him and yell at him some more than walking away like this. Tomioka had already left his side when Shinazugawa most needed a friend, so how could he let him go now? 

He hides his face in his hands and cries, sobbing like a child in his palms. He has lost his first and only love like this… 

Regret?

There are many things that Tomioka regrets: being unappreciative of his sister's meals; not spending enough time with Urokodaki; running and hiding when Sabito needed him the most; not being able to talk when needed; and surviving when he least deserved it. But if there is one thing he would and could never regret, it would be knowing Shinazugawa. He had seen his anger, his frustration, his tears and sadness, his smile and happiness, he had seen the alluring quirk of his lips, the glow and tenderness in his eyes. How could he ever regret Shinazugawa? 

He falls down onto his knees, alone and desolate, Tomioka cries in the rain. 

~~~~~

Tomioka sits in Master Ubuyashiki's residence with a bowed head. All the other pillars are beside him on his right side, and he pointedly keeps his eyes lowered to avoid looking at Shinazugawa. They all straighten their backs when the young, frail man enters, still being supported by his wife. She sits him down and they all bow to him in deep respect and compassion. 

“Oh my children, how pleased I am to see you all well. Giyuu, welcome back.” 

“I'm back, Master. I am pleased to see you in good health as well.” 

Ubuyashiki chuckles softly, an easy smile appearing on his angelic face. “Shall we begin?” 

Tomioka begins his report with the death and blood art of the demon he had slain, alongside with how he became a cat. Upon reaching this point, he falters a little, dark eyes flitting over to the quiet figure by the door. His head is turned away from Tomioka, refusing to acknowledge his presence in the room, and the latter focuses back on his report. He excludes all the little details where he saw who Shinazugawa had been hiding behind that cheeky and cocky exterior of his, and reaches the point where he came into contact with the young woman and ends his report with him transforming back as a side effect. 

“You mean to say you spent all these days wandering around and found Shinazugawa coincidentally on his way to that woman? Sounds suspicious to me.” Uzui adds off handedly. 

Feeling their scrutiny, Tomioka closes his eyes and murmurs, “It's the truth.” 

Iguro prods, “Is it, Shinazugawa?” 

The said man ignores the question directed to him. The rest of the pillars seem dubious about his unusual silence but they do not mention anything about it. 

“Tomioka-san, would you mind if I run some tests afterwards?” Kocho questions him with a gentle smile, which he doubts is gentle after all, diverting their attention. He shakes his head and she smiles with satisfaction. 

“Tomioka-san, I'm so glad you're okay!” Kanroji squeals, a shy blush on her full cheeks and he proceeds to answer, to tell her that he is glad to be among them as well, when he catches Iguro's venomous eyes and he simply nods, totally missing the dejected expression on Kanroji's face. Iguro scoots closer to comfort her and her cheeks seems to become pinker than her hair. 

“Hm! I'm also glad you're well!” Rengoku exclaims in turn, harshly patting his back. Tomioka almost throws his organs up. He only manages to breathe when Himejima's deep voice resonates in the room. 

“Namu Abida Butsu. I wish I had seen you as a cat.” Tears flow from his eyes and Tomioka can already feel his compassion through his tears. Though, how is he supposed to tell him that he is blind? Tomioka already bears a headache. He glances at the youngest pillar, staring at a scurrying ant, and he looks back down. 

Shinazugawa stays silent. Tomioka does not know whether to feel sorrow or relief from not hearing his voice because he knows if he does hear his voice, he would crumble into the pieces he had gathered in order to bow down to the Master today. No one asks Shinazugawa anything else, perhaps sensing the strange tension between the two pillars at odds. 

“Since everything is resolved, shall we end this meeting here?” A series of yes and goodbyes echo in the room, Shinazugawa being the first to leave the place, and as Tomioka also proceeds to leave, he is interrupted by the Master. “Giyuu, will you not accompany me for a walk?” 

He bows his head with respect, “As you wish, Master.” 

Assisted by the Lady by his side, Ubuyashiki walks alongside Tomioka in small, frail steps. The latter glances worriedly at him, opening his mouth to say something then closes it just as swiftly. He turns his face away, gazing at the striking scenery before him, reflecting the figure of a certain someone here, looking at him with the softest of smiles. He immediately lowers his eyes, ashamed and guilty. 

A weak cough interrupts his thinking and he nervously looks over the Master's weak physique, “Giyuu,” he starts and the said male nods, stopping in front of the older. “I do not know what's on your mind but I believe that sometimes, speaking your mind out loud will help tremendously. You are troubled and I can see it in your eyes, however, staying silent will not help. If you really want something or someone, you have to try hard for it.”

A soft breeze ruffles his Master's luscious black hair, and the gentle rays of the sun shines on him like a light glimmering off a precious stone. He stands there, weak and frail, trembling slightly under his wife's arm, but still he strikes Tomioka's heart. And it is such a feat that the latter struggles to breathe for air. His mouth is as dry as sandpaper as he has never felt this naked before, as though his Master has torn open his chest and read his every single feelings, laid him bare open to the world. 

His lips tremble ever so lightly and he feels like crying again. He wants to kneel down to this man and cry to him, let his thoughts and heart known to him, but he does not. There is another one who deserves to know what he truly feels. He bites down on his quivering lips and lowers his eyes, letting his black hair veil his expression. “Thank you, Master…” Is all he can murmur before he runs away, to him. 

As they watch Tomioka's retreating back, Kagaya is sent into a coughing fit where his wife worriedly hangs onto him. From his cracked lips, comes a flow of blood and Amane dutifully wipes it off. He tenderly pats her hand on his shoulder and thanks her. 

“Kagaya-sama, wh-” Amane starts but is cut off immediately. 

“'Why did you do that?' right?” Kagaya suppresses a smile at her sheepish face, then his expression turns somberly melancholic yet there is a tender undertone to it. “This world is a cruel, cruel place. These children have gone through too much pain, and as much as it pains me to say this, they will also go through so much more.” He pauses, letting the world around him go. The trees rustle, the grass swishes, the bees buzz around the blooming flowers and the world goes on. “If these children can experience a little bit of happiness in this cruel world, then who am I to stop them?” 

His feeble hand weakly grasps hers and in turn, she squeezes his tenderly. Together, they stand hand-in-hand as they watch the world go by. 

~~~~~

It is an odd, conflicting feeling: to receive counsel from the Master, from someone who grew much too fast; from someone who perhaps does not have long to live; from someone who is not much older than himself. Still, it is a relief to know someone else's perception on this. The Master is right, if I want someone, I have to try hard. 

And so, Tomioka runs, using his breathing techniques to gather speed and reach him before it is too late. He still, somehow, manages to stumble upon Kocho who giggles mockingly at his state. “Tomioka-san, where are you off to in such a hurry?” 

“Kocho,” he acknowledges. “do you know where Shinazugawa is?” Her jaunty expression falters slightly and her lips quirk up in a teasing, almost sardonic, manner. He internally sighs. 

“Oh, Shinazugawa-san? Hm, I wonder. I only just saw him now.” She shrugs, feigning innocence. Tomioka presses his eyes shut praying to God that he does not commit any crime to invite death before he even gets to confess to Shinazugawa (and well, before the conclusive death of Muzan). “I am only jesting.” She grins. “He's off to his estate.” She says finally, and Tomioka thanks her kindly before rushing over to the wind estate. 

In his head, he mulls over his words and confessions. How should he proceed? Should he kneel down? No, this is not a proposal. Or is it? It can definitely be one. After confessing, the most obvious step would be proposing. Yes, confess and propose. Confess and propose. He winces as he ruminates. He then abruptly stops. He has absolutely nothing to offer: no flowers, no food and no well-prepared confession or proposal speech. How is he supposed to do this? But before he knows it, he has already reached the wind estate. 

He breathes out, trying to calm his heart rate. The place is tranquil and peaceful, a sharp contrast to the man living there. There is a warm, gentle wind sweeping over him and shivers wrack through his entire body. He has no choice but to move forward. The main gate is open which he can only count as a blessing. He steps forward, the gravel and pebbles crunching underneath his sandals. He hears nothing for a while, he almost believes that Shinazugawa is not yet home when he hears a faint noise coming from the back. He slowly moves towards the sound. 

He sees him, he sees Shinazugawa. He sits by the porch with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. His face is buried between them, and eventually he moves his face to the side and Tomioka sees his red eyes, his tear tracked full cheeks, his trembling shoulders, and the little hiccuping sounds that escape his lips, and Tomioka has probably never been this scared in his life.

Shinazugawa has never been ashamed of showing his emotions. Since their first meeting itself, he has let his feelings known, the injustices done to him, the dubious way of how things worked around here, his doubts and complaints. Hell, he even cried before all of them, uncaring and unashamed, he had sobbed for his deceased best friend. But seeing Shinazugawa display such raw vulnerability because of him, Tomioka feels like the worst person ever. His heart aches and there are words stuck in his throat. 

But still he moves. He deliberately steps onto a leaf, the crunching sound is deafening in this serene silence, and immediately Shinazugawa lifts his head up and his expression hardens. He sniffles and roughly wipes at his face. His face is pink and red, and he tries his utmost best to appear menacing and angry, but the only thought in Tomioka's heart is that he looks absolutely adorable. 

“What the fuck are you doing here!” He barks. “Get out! Who even gave you permission to enter my fucking house? Leave, Tomioka!” He does not move. He walks closer to Shinazugawa, uncaring if the seething man in front of him is considering to punch him. He would take it quietly and happily, if it meant he would see the Shinazugawa he had seen. 

“Shinazu-” Said man does not let him finish his sentence. He pushes Tomioka off and turns his back to him. 

“Leave.” Again, that odd calmness. It is as though Shinazugawa was resigned to his fate. As if he believes that fate is playing one big dirty, cruel game on him and he will be waking up in the next hour, but no such thing happens, and Tomioka is still there. 

“I will not.” Shinazugawa glares at him, gaze ferocious and cold. 

He scoffs, “Fine, then I will.” He trudges past Tomioka but is held back by his wrist. He frowns at the pale hand holding his then tries to shake it off, but the grasp gets even tighter. “Tomioka, I'm warning you.” He growls. “You leave my hand right fucking now and I'll let you leave with no broken bones, otherwise, I can't guarantee what will happen to you.” Tomioka simply stares at him with his deadpan expression. “Fucking hell, Tomioka! Have you not had enough of humiliating me!” 

Tomioka hesitates, and in that moment, his grip loosens and Shinazugawa instantly wrenches his wrist out of his hand and stomps away. 

Tomioka watches helplessly as he begins to leave, but then, the Master's words echo in his mind and suddenly he does not care about anything or anyone else. He does not care about the retribution or consequences that will come from this. He simply does not care anymore. Bracing himself, Tomioka shouts out, closing his eyes, “Shinazugawa, I'm in love with you!” 

He hears his footsteps falter, but his eyes do not open, afraid of the reaction he will get. He does not stop to hear Shinazugawa's answer either, he goes on, “I love you, and I… And I didn't want to fall in love with you! I didn't want to, and I don't know how it happened either. But at some point, when I saw you smile, and you looked so, so goddamn beautiful and peaceful, I wanted to hold you, I wanted to monopolize you. I wanted your smile to be mine, and only mine, I wanted you to be mine!” He pauses to take a breath. His eyes remain closed, but he knows he's there. He's still here, and he has not left yet. 

Tomioka breathes out in a soft tone, voice breaking ever so lightly. He feels as though cold water is being doused on him, and the second, he feels warm like he is next to a campfire. He does not know what to make off of these bizarre feelings, but he continues, “I didn't want to fall in love with you, dammit! But when I was not Tomioka Giyuu but some random cat you found, I saw you smile, you opened up your heart to me and I got to see the kind, beautiful and gentle person that you are and holy shit, I blew it. I blew it, Shinazugawa, I couldn't stop myself anymore.”

He starts to walk towards him, eyes still religiously closed, but Tomioka feels him, he feels his breath, his heartbeats, his quiet little shuffles, his hiccups, he feels him as a whole. “I fell so hard for you that even right now, every single cell in my body is trembling in excitement and my heart is beating so fucking loud in my chest that I am so sure you're hearing it.” 

Tomioka stops in front of him, before he reaches his hands out to hold onto Shinazugawa's. He brings those calloused, scarred hands in between them, holding them like they are the most precious treasure in the whole entire world. He squeezes them, like they are his lifeline and he lowers his forehead to their intertwined hands. “Shinazugawa…” He breathes out, like the word, his name, brings him peace, salvation and pardon. Like his name releases every single emotion in his stuck up body. “Shinazugawa…” he whispers, letting the name flow between them.

“This is a mistake…” Tomioka hears him mumble brokenly under his breath, and his heart stutters in his chest. Why does it feel like it has been way too long since he last heard him speak in his quiet tone, so much that it takes a little longer before his words are fully registered in his head. “You, loving me, it's a mistake. One big fucking mistake, Tomioka. You don't love me, no one can either. So whatever the fuck this is that you're doing, stop.” 

Tomioka lifts his head and does not say anything. He knows Shinazugawa is lying through his teeth. He knows because he feels his pulse speed up in his wrists, he hears the slight shake that wrecks his gentle, defeated voice, he feels the tears that glide down his cheeks to splash onto their interlocked hands. From where he stands, he hears the wild, erratic beats of his warm, beautiful heart and he knows, he knows Shinazugawa is lying. Tomioka loosens his grip and instead, reaches his hands out to hold Shinazugawa's face. His thumbs swipe underneath those big, clear eyes, wiping the tears that escape their sanctuary. He bears his forehead against Shinazugawa's, eyes remaining closed still, their noses bumping into each other. 

“I am utterly and irrevocably in love with you, Shinazugawa. I shall say it as many times as you wish. I shall say it for the rest of our lives, till the end of times.” He says as his palms gently cradle the tormented man's face. He feels him shake and tremble underneath his prudent touch, and it makes Tomioka ache. 

“I have never in my life experienced such a powerful and intimidating feeling, but I don't want to stop feeling this. Shinazugawa, never did I imagine me falling in love with you. Not long ago, you were merely my comrade, a fellow demon slayer, bonded and united by the same wish of eradicating demons. I never intended to fall in love. But then, I was hit with some stupid demon art and I became a cat. And then, you, Shinazugawa, took care of me, cared for me, talked to me, laughed and cried. I saw the you that you hid. The you who is still tormented by nightmares; the you who dives into lakes for someone else; the you who cooks sweets for little kids; the you who's so beautiful and thoughtful and gentle, and the you who still holds precious memories.”

Tomioka breathes in deeply, taking in the sweet scent that always seems to follow the other. “Shinazugawa, if there is one person I could imagine myself being in love with, it's you. And I shall say it so many times that it will get imprinted in your mind, your heart, your body and your soul. Shinazugawa Sanemi, I love you, and I love you, and I love you, and I wouldn't change a damn thing about it, so please! Please, don't say that loving you is a mistake. It could never be.” 

He feels Shinazugawa move his head but Tomioka remains firm in holding him. And then, he feels warm, sticky tears cling onto his hands and he smiles, ever so kind. He tenderly wipes underneath Shinazugawa's eyes, catching and flicking the quiet emotions of his heart erupt as tears. “May I open my eyes, Shinazugawa?” He asks softly. He gets no verbal or physical response, but the tiny whimper bursting out of Shinazugawa's throat is enough of an answer. 

Tomioka opens his eyes little by little, letting his dark blue eyes adjust to the bright rays in Shinazugawa's backyard. The sight before him is enough to knock every breath out of his lungs. Shinazugawa's face is helplessly flushed pink, from his ears to his collarbones, he is hued in a breathtaking pink and he has never looked this radiant and delectable. His bewitching lavender eyes are no longer wild, instead they are clearer than the summer sky. His cheeks are puffed up and there are tear tracks skimming downwards. His lips are impossibly full and cherry red (being bitten has its own advantages). The sun shines its rays onto his honey skin, further accentuating the colours on him, and his silver hair plays a beguiling contrast on him. 

In short, Shinazugawa looks absolutely fucking gorgeous. 

Tomioka breathes out heavily, leaning his head onto Shinazugawa's shoulder, hoping to all Gods that he will not push him off, for he cannot tell whether he will be able to stand properly given the weakness Shinazugawa has bestowed upon him. “You…” 

“What!” Shinazugawa sniffles. Tomioka chuckles lightly and shakes his head. He leans back and gazes at him. 

“Nothing, you just looked beautiful.” His face flushes and he frowns deeply, gritting his teeth. He looks like he is about to say something (nothing nice, Tomioka guesses) when Tomioka interrupts him. “I'm sorry also. For deceiving you, that is. Turning into a cat was something that I was not expecting.” He explains. 

“Seeing a cat transform into you was something that I was not expecting.” Shinazugawa retaliates, crossing his arms over his chest. A sweat of nervousness drops from Tomioka's forehead. “Whatever.” He then adds, huffing. 

Tomioka quirks his lips up lovingly, then says with the most serious expression, “Shinazugawa, may I kiss you?” 

“Huh!?” The said man's heart stutters and his brain lags before he is able to take in the question. He is silent for seconds, seeming longer than minutes and hours. His left eye twitches, vein popping at the side of his head. He peeks an eye open, zeroing in the way Tomioka rubs his thumb in this frantic way. It almost makes him break into a smile, almost. The idea of kissing Tomioka does not repulse him as he initially thought it would. Though he is not sure as to what exactly he feels about the dark haired male, he supposes he is not opposed to kissing him. He feigns a sigh, relishing in the way Tomioka's expression seems to fall out of his ass. He lowers his arms to shrug, “Well, I guess it would be fine to-” 

Before he is able to finish his sentence, Tomioka shifts even closer to him. Their chests are touching and he feels their hearts beat in a tandem, rhythmically and steady, as though their two hearts were always meant to beat together. Shinazugawa's breath hitches and he focuses on the heated and carnal way Tomioka is looking at him. Their noses touch and their breaths intermingle, warm and moist. Tomioka's hand finds his own by his side and he brings them up by their necks. He makes him watch as he intertwines their hands, fitting like the missing pieces of a puzzle. He brings the back of his scarred hand to his mouth and presses a hot, wet kiss to it, locking his dark eyes onto him. With the other hand, Tomioka holds his neck, his gentle thumb caressing his plump cheek and rubbing underneath his puffy eyes. 

“I'm going to kiss you now.” Tomioka announces, and Shinazugawa has half the mind of telling him to get on and get it over with, but his intense expression forces him to stay quiet, and he simply nods slowly. Tomioka gently squeezes his hand and inches his face closer, letting their breath familiarise themselves, so much that it is indiscernible that whose is which. He watches as Shinazugawa closes his eyes in sheer anticipation and he follows. He parts Shinazugawa's lips with his thumb and with as much tenderness that he can muster in this moment, he puckers his lips and presses them to Shinazugawa's.

The feeling is… unfamiliar. It is nothing like his sister used to say: fireworks exploding, butterflies erupting and head-spinning. No, what he feels is warmth. The warmth of another person, alive and breathing, pressed against him. The warmth of coming home to someone, to him. He is all-feeling and at the same time, he is absolutely numb. He can focus on nothing except the press of his hot lips against his own. The feeling is consuming. It leaves him wanting more and more. It feels as though he is being doused in cold water, and the next he is being burnt in an inextinguishable fire. It is inexplicable, but oh so sensual. 

Tomioka mildly pins his fang onto his plush lips and there is a soft little sound that escapes Shinazugawa's throat which parts his lips even more. Tomioka sneaks the tip of his tongue into the other's mouth, peeking an eye open to capture his reaction. Shinazugawa flinches at the moist feeling, but he does not reject him. He furrows his brows and welcomes him into his mouth. He moans when the unaccustomed appendage wraps lewdly around his own, sucking and biting, creating these vulgar and wanton noises from him and around him. Tomioka pulls back slightly to switch their position. He presses his lips back, not bothering to wait for Shinazugawa as he invades his mouth again, licking and sucking as though this would be their last kiss. Shinazugawa's loose arm ends up clinging onto Tomioka's haori. He lets out a wanton moan when Tomioka tangles their tongues together. 

He feels overstimulated and lightheaded. The feeling of lust overcomes him and he uses his arm to pull Tomioka even closer, whining when they eventually run out of breath and part away. The two men pant against each other, faces flushed to no end. Tomioka looks over at Shinazugawa, chuckling when he sees his swollen lips. He mentions this to the other, getting a glare back. You're no better, he retaliates and it makes him think that yes, he must be no better. 

They stay in a comfortable silence, contemplating the action that just occurred between them. Their hands remain intertwined and their hearts continue to beat in a rhythmic tandem. 

Tomioka clears his throat, “So, what is your answer?” 

Shinazugawa raises a brow, “To what?” He asks, and his innocent tone makes Tomioka's heart stutter for a second. 

He shakes his head and frowns, answering, “To my proposal.” 

Shinazugawa tilts his head in confusion and Tomioka has to recite Himejima's mantras to maintain a sane and saintly mind. “What proposal?” He asks and his tone makes it hard to believe that he is playing dumb. 

Tomioka gasps, exclaiming, “I-I didn't propose?” 

“For what! And you started rambling when you came in, how am I supposed to know?” Shinazugawa defends himself at Tomioka's conflicted and disappointed look. 

“This is the worst. Oh God, I'm the worst lover-” 

“Lover?!” 

 “This is what I wanted to ask you! Whether you'd want to be my lover!” 

“What?!” 

“Oh, is that a no?” 

“Huh? Wait… Ah no… Uh… I don't… I…” Shinazugawa sighs in defeat, “No, it's not a no.” He mumbles under his breath, flushed and shy as he peeks at Tomioka from under his lashes. The latter's expression brightens and he rushes to gather Shinazugawa in his arms when the latter holds his hand out. “Wait, wait. Just so it's fair, I don't know exactly what I feel for you, so don't expect any grand gestures or whatever.” 

Tomioka's expression softens and he still tentatively wraps his arms around Shinazugawa, letting the latter rest his head on his shoulder. He lays his head against the other and whispers quietly, “That's fine, Shinazugawa, I'll wait as long as you want me to, as long as you'll have me, as long as we draw our breath, as long as we live, I'll wait for you.” 

“Oh.”

Oh. 

Shinazugawa holds onto Tomioka, apprehensive and afraid of the future. They could die tomorrow, heck they could die tonight itself. There are too many uncertainties, too many ifs and skepticism. But right now, wrapped tightly in the secure arms of someone who he despised, they are simply Giyuu and Sanemi. They are not the hashiras of the demon slayer corps. They are two undefiled, loving boys and he thinks he would do anything to preserve this sanctity. He thinks it is not so bad being comforted, being loved, being wanted. 

Sanemi closes his eyes, resting against Giyuu. 

Perhaps in the future, in a demon-less world, they could walk hand-in-hand together with no fears. They would take walks, cook together, eat together, sleep side-by-side, laugh together, cry together, fight and comfort each other. Experience what every other couple experiences. They would live together, wake up in each other's arms, get ready to visit the others, watch as Genya grows and chooses his partner to get married to. And perhaps, one day, he will see himself in wedding attire. 

Yes, he thinks, he can see himself as such. 

Shinazugawa pulls back, squishes Tomioka's cheeks together, ignoring his surprised expression, and quickly presses a kiss to his puckered lips. When he pulls away, he laughs at his sizzling, confused appearance, a pleasant flush blooming on his cheeks. He lowers his head to his ear to whisper. 

“Hurry up and make me fall in love with you, Giyuu.” 

“Huh…? Huh!?” 

And under the sun and its compassionate, gentle rays, Shinazugawa laughs, loud and clear as Tomioka fumbles around him.